Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life
Family Rules 1. Tell thr truth 2. Treat others with respect 3. Obey what your parents say right away 4. Put things away that you take out 5. Ask permission 6. Dony make a problem
@@Haveuseenmyjetpack That is exactly my problem. If you don't use any threatening moves, HOW do you get your child to do things the first time around? What is the tool to motivate them to actually do that? My 3 year old boys asks "Why?" for EVERY, SINGLE, TASK I give him. So I have to explain everything, give reasons etc. and that feels natural, because we expect that from grown ups as well, that give us tasks, but it's also problematic... society expects children to follow and obey commands.
I just discovered him and Im obsessed with his videos. As a young mother of 3 kids ( 4,2,0) I want do all right but then sometimes I feel like I am doing everything wrong. His tipps are just what I needed..
Best parenting book I ever read is “Raising great kids” by drs Henry Cloud & John Townsend. All that I hear Dr Amen say in these videos is what is said in this book. Good stuff. Very accurate & effective!
My wife and I are high school sweethearts and thank God we had the same beliefs in raising our children. One of the things we did was not adopt the counting to 3 deal. When you were told to do something you then needed to do it, immediately. First time obedience.
Truth is so important. Even if my child grows up and chooses to believe something different than I have taught them, if I’ve taught them to think critically and to value and pursue truth, I have done my job. Our society today has put experience above truth, so that people literally think they can “own” their own truth like a pet. And that “truth” is entirely dictated by their feelings. That creates an incredibly unstable world. Always honor truth, even if you’re not sure what it is!
Even if you don’t want to tell your child something due to age, you can tell them truthfully “I can’t explain this to you at this age.” They are okay with that.
This is 3 minutes about family rules. Of course you should talk to and listen to your family. That seems to go with the respect rule. But he's not covering everything in this short clip!
Yes, 💯 kids like it less when you don’t check what they’re up to. They think you don’t care… I experienced this in my childhood. I was youngest kid and my parents had problems. I think on some level my parents cared but I didn’t feel like they cared when I was young… Next to boundaries, I would say routines are highly important. It tells the kid they can count on you. It really doesn’t matter what the routine or tradition is (bedtime story, game night, Saturday grocery shopping, Taco Tuesday, whatever)-just as long as the routine is consistent. Thanks for the tips on what good parenting looks like. I want to be the best parent I can be ❤
Thank you for sharing these rules which are great. Enforcing the rules is the hard part for us and wondering how do you enforce the rules with kids? What are the consequences when they don’t follow the rules? Ang advice from people here would be super appreciated :)
Hi Amen I am a mother of 3 kids ( a teenager, and 2 preschoolers) we live in IRAQ unfortunately, it means that a husband who is the father is more spoiled and a tool for destroying the family more than babies and how to raise them, cause he was raised in the wrong ways ... I was a translator and lived a beautiful life with English-speaking educated people, when I got married he treated me differently and said No to everything I asked or said... One of these is your videos and instructions, Please pray for me and for my kids especially a teenage boy who become a lived copy of his mean, ruthless, selfish, muscular father
@bls5160 It's harder In Iraq, a divorced mother is meant to be a servant in her parent's home without any hope of change ... The servants including my babies, And the eldest who is now 13 should live with his father under Iraqi law... I am surrounded by misery. But I won't stop praying for my husband to change and walk with me in the right direction, I got it from you(the Western community ) to raise my innocent kids correctly ..
@@furattaraf3001 I am so sorry that you are in such a terrible situation. I thought that you were from another country since you were an translator but I assumed wrong. Would your own parents treat you and your children like servants. I wonder if the nice couple that you once worked for would help you. Anyway I will pray that your husband comes to his senses and treats you as you should be treated and becomes grateful to you for the wonderful wife and mother that you are. Please God let him see the light and change his selfish ways. Good Luck to You.
Great advice! These policies are so true. The commenters who don’t like them are part of our current society which doesn’t believe in discipline or guidelines. Look where that has gotten us. Our country used to be full of much stronger people 100 years ago when kids were raised with discipline.
You are the parent. You set everything! Remember that!! Talk to your child(ren)as a person. Communicate in complete subject verb agreement sentences. Don't ask a question you don't want answered.
Treat others with respect does apply for ALL family members. Kids will respect us as much as we respect them. No shouting, name calling, hitting (or threatening of physical violence). And in my opinion this contradicts the idea of obeying blind and punishing kids for not doing so. Of course parents and adults have the responsibility but that doesn't mean that children's feelings, ideas, and needs don't have the SAME priority. Not more, not less. The same.
Listening to this, I thought of the instructions to parents in the book of Deuteronomy. Regarding the Ten Commandments, God (through Moses) instructed parents to ”Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you are at home and when you are away, when you are resting and when you are working.“ Deuteronomy 6:7 GNT
The first and foremost rule of every family to function is: -Faith in God! Worship Him alone without any partner and follow His flawless laws. Only then you can start implementing what he is saying.
I'm an educator for over 20 years. My children and I have ADHD. All kids can follow these simple rules. It's about practice, consequences, and parental follow through and Not giving up when it gets hard. Plus knowing what motivates your children and using that to do so.
Thank you for all your amazing videos! Love them! This is very helpful! But I am struggling with number 3 and the consequences. What can be the consequences if they don’t listen the 1st time. For the trash? For dressing up? Do you have examples?
I was laying in bed awake this morning crying about spankings I got when I was a kid. I'm 50 now. .. I just remember being terrified of spankings. I don't remember now what I did. And I did not know my parents loved me. They never told me.
Sorry your experience was so abusive. While spanking is not the preferred method of consequences these days (especially if you were hurt by it), some of us had a different experience. I always knew what I did wrong, and it was the extreme consequence reserved exclusively for direct insubordination or disrespect. Hopefully if you have kids, you broke that chain of unreasonable consequences or abuse.
How do you work this with very different kids, I have one kid who does anything I ask the first time I ask, but I have to ask for everything as she never puts anything away after and has many different (relatively plausible) reasons. My son acts like he didn’t hear me the first time (he is a daydreamer so it’s true most of the time)but he nearly always puts things away afterwards, he loves to tidy his room
One has to decide them along with the rules, and the kids have to know them. I think things like some hours of grounding, or no tv/games etc. But no hitting or hurtful, disrespectful treatment.
Consequences for my son would be no ice cream, no TV/tablet time the rest of the day, no calling grandparents, no pool time, no allowance money if he doesn't do his chores. Just choose any of this at random or what he expects most to be receiving soon so Consequences is "real". Like if he's playing video game while I tell him to stop and do something, if he doesn't get it done, no more screen time rest of the day. Once you set expectations, kids learn quickly
Too bad my kids are 16 and 15 with narc dad pulling strings. He won’t have them over but he has power over them and does everything to turn then against me.
I’ve been there. She is 19 now. You have 2-3 years to go. Don’t speak bad about him. It may be a good thing he doesn’t visit with them. His presence will harm them more. Keep God first and work on YOUR healing ❤️🩹. He’s done more damage to you.
It is becoming increasingly difficult for children to respect their parents. 😢 Children do not respect their parents, and social media/internet has made it worse. I have limited the internet more than any other parent. At my home, there are no gaming devices, no gaming PCs, no data services for kids' cell phones, and no tablets. There is just a working PC and cell phone for a limited time. However, kids still see their parents arguing and struggling to make ends meet.
Great advice. Now, if a child doesn’t obey, which consequences do we ‘threaten’ them with, like in the example of putting away the trash? Especially when the are teenagers, it’s not easy. As you will have to execute the consequence if they don’t listen..
No expert here, but we’ve learned from others that the consequences should fit the offense. Creativity often takes a minute-maybe just say “there will be consequences” and give yourself a little space to think of something. And it is not a “threat” if you will do exactly what you said you will do; it’s a promise. Ex. Staying up late on Instagram when told not to? Take the phone away. Didn’t take out the trash? Maybe now they have to go wash out the trash can. Example: A 19 year old boy was speeding on his motorcycle and got a ticket. His dad chained the motorcycle to a tree and told him that he had to wash and was his motorcycle every day for 30 days. If he missed a day, the count would restart at 0. If it was still chained up after 3 months, it would be sold. Shiniest motorcycle ever by the end of the 30 days.
If you teach these rules when your children are young when they get older it's not a constant power struggle. Yes you will always have challenges but there will be less. It's your responsibility to teach your children basic simple rules for getting along with others inside and outside the house and these rules are simple for everyone to grasp.
You’re the parent not their friend. They want to obey you. Sounds like you have some healing that never happened from childhood trauma. Hard stop. Good luck.
I'm curious: Are you the parent who thinks you're above the law? Or do you OBEY the law? If you want your children to be law-abiding citizens, you teach them how to obey rules, not to pick and choose what they feel like doing.
Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life
Please share a picture of the book.
Writer?
Fr. Benjamin Johnson
Thanks for recommendation
Is it Christian themed?
Family Rules
1. Tell thr truth
2. Treat others with respect
3. Obey what your parents say right away
4. Put things away that you take out
5. Ask permission
6. Dony make a problem
Nice
Yea Dony. Be nice
I do not see how this advice will get a child to do it the 1st time asked! 😂
6. Don't make a problem
@@Haveuseenmyjetpack That is exactly my problem. If you don't use any threatening moves, HOW do you get your child to do things the first time around? What is the tool to motivate them to actually do that? My 3 year old boys asks "Why?" for EVERY, SINGLE, TASK I give him. So I have to explain everything, give reasons etc. and that feels natural, because we expect that from grown ups as well, that give us tasks, but it's also problematic... society expects children to follow and obey commands.
I just discovered him and Im obsessed with his videos. As a young mother of 3 kids ( 4,2,0) I want do all right but then sometimes I feel like I am doing everything wrong. His tipps are just what I needed..
Thanks!
I’m the same. Young mom of 4,2 and 6months.
His videos are truly based on real life experience
000000
I am the same here too!
Same here: 4, 2, and 3 months…
Best parenting book I ever read is “Raising great kids” by drs Henry Cloud & John Townsend. All that I hear Dr Amen say in these videos is what is said in this book. Good stuff. Very accurate & effective!
Great book!
My wife and I are high school sweethearts and thank God we had the same beliefs in raising our children. One of the things we did was not adopt the counting to 3 deal. When you were told to do something you then needed to do it, immediately. First time obedience.
Truth is so important. Even if my child grows up and chooses to believe something different than I have taught them, if I’ve taught them to think critically and to value and pursue truth, I have done my job. Our society today has put experience above truth, so that people literally think they can “own” their own truth like a pet. And that “truth” is entirely dictated by their feelings. That creates an incredibly unstable world. Always honor truth, even if you’re not sure what it is!
I feel you❤.
Even if you don’t want to tell your child something due to age, you can tell them truthfully “I can’t explain this to you at this age.” They are okay with that.
He's ahead of the game just by having rules. Most families don't even consider it, and kids can feel lost without direction and purpose.
One of THE best books I ever read about child rearing was “Parenting is not for cowards.” by Dr. James Dobson
Thank you for sharing!
I love Dr.Amen!! Celebrating 3 years sober 5/5 due to his age work, thank you! 💜
Congratulations! What a milestone. I’ll be three years sober June 9th
Maybe you're good to have just one little drink now? Go on... one can't hurt you. You deserve it my friend!
Talk to them and listen to them would be my starting point.
This is 3 minutes about family rules. Of course you should talk to and listen to your family. That seems to go with the respect rule. But he's not covering everything in this short clip!
Yes, 💯 kids like it less when you don’t check what they’re up to. They think you don’t care… I experienced this in my childhood. I was youngest kid and my parents had problems. I think on some level my parents cared but I didn’t feel like they cared when I was young…
Next to boundaries, I would say routines are highly important. It tells the kid they can count on you. It really doesn’t matter what the routine or tradition is (bedtime story, game night, Saturday grocery shopping, Taco Tuesday, whatever)-just as long as the routine is consistent.
Thanks for the tips on what good parenting looks like. I want to be the best parent I can be ❤
Thank you Amen 🪽🪽🪽🪽
AmenClinics, You're amazing! I hit the like button as soon as I saw it!
Thanks!
Thank you for sharing these rules which are great. Enforcing the rules is the hard part for us and wondering how do you enforce the rules with kids? What are the consequences when they don’t follow the rules?
Ang advice from people here would be super appreciated :)
Timeouts
Less technology time
More chores
Hi Amen
I am a mother of 3 kids ( a teenager, and 2 preschoolers) we live in IRAQ
unfortunately, it means that a husband who is the father is more spoiled and a tool for destroying the family more than babies and how to raise them, cause he was raised in the wrong ways ...
I was a translator and lived a beautiful life with English-speaking educated people, when I got married he treated me differently and said No to everything I asked or said...
One of these is your videos and instructions,
Please pray for me and for my kids especially a teenage boy who become a lived copy of his mean, ruthless, selfish, muscular father
Divorce him and move back to where your family is.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
@bls5160
It's harder
In Iraq, a divorced mother is meant to be a servant in her parent's home without any hope of change ...
The servants including my babies,
And the eldest who is now 13 should live with his father under Iraqi law...
I am surrounded by misery.
But I won't stop praying for my husband to change and walk with me in the right direction, I got it from you(the Western community ) to raise my innocent kids correctly ..
I am praying for you!
@@furattaraf3001 I am so sorry that you are in such a terrible situation. I thought that you were from another country since you were an translator but I assumed wrong. Would your own parents treat you and your children like servants. I wonder if the nice couple that you once worked for would help you. Anyway I will pray that your husband comes to his senses and treats you as you should be treated and becomes grateful to you for the wonderful wife and mother that you are. Please God let him see the light and change his selfish ways. Good Luck to You.
Great advice! These policies are so true. The commenters who don’t like them are part of our current society which doesn’t believe in discipline or guidelines. Look where that has gotten us. Our country used to be full of much stronger people 100 years ago when kids were raised with discipline.
Excellent video for families 💖
Thank you 🤗
Wow I wasn’t expecting this to be about power over dynamics and punishment
Can you elaborate what you mean?
Excellent Guide! ❤
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you for the great video.
I am so happy I found this channel, and thank you for sharing your knowledge!
Awesome 👌
Thank you. Greatful.
You are the parent. You set everything! Remember that!!
Talk to your child(ren)as a person. Communicate in complete subject verb agreement sentences. Don't ask a question you don't want answered.
Treat others with respect does apply for ALL family members. Kids will respect us as much as we respect them. No shouting, name calling, hitting (or threatening of physical violence).
And in my opinion this contradicts the idea of obeying blind and punishing kids for not doing so.
Of course parents and adults have the responsibility but that doesn't mean that children's feelings, ideas, and needs don't have the SAME priority. Not more, not less. The same.
Such great teaching! 👏🏾👏🏾
#3 is great. I have some work to do.
Great stuff!
Excellent video!
Can you elaborate on "don't make a problem"
Listening to this, I thought of the instructions to parents in the book of Deuteronomy. Regarding the Ten Commandments, God (through Moses) instructed parents to ”Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you are at home and when you are away, when you are resting and when you are working.“
Deuteronomy 6:7 GNT
That’s ok but I’d rather teach them some facts.
❤❤❤❤❤
The first and foremost rule of every family to function is:
-Faith in God! Worship Him alone without any partner and follow His flawless laws. Only then you can start implementing what he is saying.
Yes Faith is the building block
I have 3 kids. All this is wonderful and easy and makes sense with normal kids. My middle one has ADHD you can throw all this into garbage.
Same here, middle child has adhd and this simply doesn’t work. Not to say it is bad to do regardless, but it won’t click the same.
I have ADD 😂 I cannot stick myself to any rules
@@CharlotteG754that’s a rule you keep
I'm an educator for over 20 years. My children and I have ADHD. All kids can follow these simple rules. It's about practice, consequences, and parental follow through and Not giving up when it gets hard. Plus knowing what motivates your children and using that to do so.
Pretty sure Dr Amen would say this is ESPECIALLY good for adhd. He does study the brain, after all.
Where can i get the whole lecture?
We will be releasing in segments on YT. Full lecture is on PBS.
Thank you for all your amazing videos! Love them!
This is very helpful!
But I am struggling with number 3 and the consequences.
What can be the consequences if they don’t listen the 1st time. For the trash?
For dressing up?
Do you have examples?
Read Dr. Amen's new book Raising Mentally Strong Kids he discusses this. You can buy on Amazon.
I wish my dad saw this vid when I was a baby 😢
We're sorry to hear this, but we are here for you!
@@AmenClinic appreciate that x
At what age do you start this?
What are some good consequences?
Amazing suggestion! We will be sure to pass this on to our content team! Thank you!
I was laying in bed awake this morning crying about spankings I got when I was a kid. I'm 50 now.
.. I just remember being terrified of spankings. I don't remember now what I did.
And I did not know my parents loved me. They never told me.
Sorry your experience was so abusive.
While spanking is not the preferred method of consequences these days (especially if you were hurt by it), some of us had a different experience. I always knew what I did wrong, and it was the extreme consequence reserved exclusively for direct insubordination or disrespect.
Hopefully if you have kids, you broke that chain of unreasonable consequences or abuse.
Could somebody explain me please what does forth rule mean? Can't get the point
It means that if your kid takes out a toy to play with, they also need to put it away when they are done, so they don't leave a mess behind.
@@youzerneim5431 Oh, thats a tough one.
Thank you, and have a nice day
How do you work this with very different kids, I have one kid who does anything I ask the first time I ask, but I have to ask for everything as she never puts anything away after and has many different (relatively plausible) reasons. My son acts like he didn’t hear me the first time (he is a daydreamer so it’s true most of the time)but he nearly always puts things away afterwards, he loves to tidy his room
what are “consequences”?
One has to decide them along with the rules, and the kids have to know them. I think things like some hours of grounding, or no tv/games etc. But no hitting or hurtful, disrespectful treatment.
Consequences for my son would be no ice cream, no TV/tablet time the rest of the day, no calling grandparents, no pool time, no allowance money if he doesn't do his chores. Just choose any of this at random or what he expects most to be receiving soon so Consequences is "real". Like if he's playing video game while I tell him to stop and do something, if he doesn't get it done, no more screen time rest of the day. Once you set expectations, kids learn quickly
Becoming Better Parents by Prof. Maurice Bolson
Too bad my kids are 16 and 15 with narc dad pulling strings. He won’t have them over but he has power over them and does everything to turn then against me.
I’ve been there. She is 19 now. You have 2-3 years to go. Don’t speak bad about him. It may be a good thing he doesn’t visit with them. His presence will harm them more. Keep God first and work on YOUR healing ❤️🩹. He’s done more damage to you.
@@thatwifelife2138 you don’t even know the whole story and you’re willing to come to a conclusion?
How can I subscribe to these extroadinary lecturs? There is no subscribe button .
Hit the bell.
They are good lectures!
They don't do it the first time they are told. What can I do? I've tried "consequences". Doesn't work.
It is becoming increasingly difficult for children to respect their parents. 😢
Children do not respect their parents, and social media/internet has made it worse. I have limited the internet more than any other parent. At my home, there are no gaming devices, no gaming PCs, no data services for kids' cell phones, and no tablets. There is just a working PC and cell phone for a limited time. However, kids still see their parents arguing and struggling to make ends meet.
❤
👏👏👏👏👏❤
Great advice. Now, if a child doesn’t obey, which consequences do we ‘threaten’ them with, like in the example of putting away the trash?
Especially when the are teenagers, it’s not easy. As you will have to execute the consequence if they don’t listen..
No expert here, but we’ve learned from others that the consequences should fit the offense. Creativity often takes a minute-maybe just say “there will be consequences” and give yourself a little space to think of something. And it is not a “threat” if you will do exactly what you said you will do; it’s a promise.
Ex. Staying up late on Instagram when told not to? Take the phone away.
Didn’t take out the trash? Maybe now they have to go wash out the trash can.
Example: A 19 year old boy was speeding on his motorcycle and got a ticket. His dad chained the motorcycle to a tree and told him that he had to wash and was his motorcycle every day for 30 days. If he missed a day, the count would restart at 0. If it was still chained up after 3 months, it would be sold. Shiniest motorcycle ever by the end of the 30 days.
What are consequences we have a hard time with consequences
Be consistent with whatever you do
I modelled and raised my kids in a clean home all their lives and what are they now?…SLOBS!!!
Wanted to share buddhism & happiness
Chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo to open your inner Buddhahood and the path to happiness
Let's always do good ❤
This guy looks like the Heaven’s Gate cult leader.
But he’s not he’s a kind and helpful psychiatrist
😂
Wow. This is terrible.
Thata how you get a lot of issues in puberty. Have fun...
If you teach these rules when your children are young when they get older it's not a constant power struggle. Yes you will always have challenges but there will be less. It's your responsibility to teach your children basic simple rules for getting along with others inside and outside the house and these rules are simple for everyone to grasp.
Full of lies this guy
Weird gestures
Sorry, lost me at "obey". Not my style of parenting. Thank you anyway.
You’re the parent not their friend. They want to obey you. Sounds like you have some healing that never happened from childhood trauma. Hard stop. Good luck.
.....
I'm curious: Are you the parent who thinks you're above the law? Or do you OBEY the law? If you want your children to be law-abiding citizens, you teach them how to obey rules, not to pick and choose what they feel like doing.
@@monican5628 amen
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