Say This To Get Your Baby or Toddler To Listen & Behave (Without Yelling)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 518

  • @trishna_6815
    @trishna_6815 2 ปีที่แล้ว +580

    This is good advice for all ages, even teenagers! As teacher my simple behaviour rules are:
    1) Model good behaviour. If you want kid to say please and thank you, make sure you say it to them as standard, if you don't want them to get angry and yell, then learn to manage your own anger and frustration, if you don't want them to ignore you when they are on device/screen, don't ignore them when you're on your device.
    2) Reward good behaviour. Smile, give them thumbs up, give some kind of positive feedback when they are doing things well. We tend to ignore kids when they are being 'good', eg playing quietly.
    3) Don't reward bad behaviour. We most often do this by getting upset and raising our voice, and generally giving a lot of attention. In the classroom if you calmly ignore the kids mucking up and give lots of positive rewards to the kids behaving well you get a lot further, a lot quicker, than if you pay attention to 'naughty' kids and try to tell them to stop. It's hard because it's counter-intuitive, but it works.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Thanks so much for sharing this important information!

    • @lila4578
      @lila4578 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      👏😊 Very well explained! Thank you a lot!

    • @cassandra2994
      @cassandra2994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Wow that's parenting 101, in 1 paragraph. I'm 46 with only 1 child, she's 4, so this information was very beneficial!

    • @beenarautela
      @beenarautela 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      0æ oi we

    • @freshgreen54
      @freshgreen54 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      My mom was a teacher and I remember her telling me that when kids were running in the hallway she would always say "walk" and never "don't run" because inevitably they would skip or gallop or turn cartwheels 🤣

  • @ServantStatusMinistries
    @ServantStatusMinistries ปีที่แล้ว +85

    Teach a child in the way that they should go and they will never depart from it….teaching them the RIGHT way means they will always do the right things but focusing on the bad behavior and never giving wisdom will teach the child the wrong way while they grow up confused and not able to trust us….thank you for your wisdom!!!

    • @AllysonChannel1
      @AllysonChannel1 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Thank you for putting a biblical perspective on this

  • @charleneinman3625
    @charleneinman3625 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +58

    Iam a Granmaw and I’m watching this at my age .lol I see now why Grandparents are the ones to get thru to the children and calm them down .I think it’s because we are selves are calmer .When my children were young I was always doing ten things at once ,I responded faster thinking I would prevent the episode,I would yell more .I find myself calmer now because I’m not under all the stress I had back then .Now I’m patient with the grandkids .Iam able to talk calmer and not jump up with quick responses .I guess it gets better with age .Itell my daughter ,just calm don’t ,don’t yell ,don’t react negative and she’s only copping what I did .So ,I think this is a great video for new mom or moms just looking for better skills .Thank you

    • @shannabanana7080
      @shannabanana7080 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Exactly this! As a grandparent I’m so much wiser and calmer now than in my 20’s when I had mine!

    • @Candyfloss119
      @Candyfloss119 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Im a granny too watching here in Ireland 🇮🇪 😊I’m so much calmer with my grandchildren than I was when my children were growing up. I was always doing a million things and was under pressure to get everything done at once. I look at things now as a second chance to do it better and actually sit and enjoy doing activities with my 2 wee grandsons and granddaughter 🤗

    • @captaincaption
      @captaincaption หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thanks for your input!

  • @MarcyTrivette
    @MarcyTrivette ปีที่แล้ว +109

    I work in daycare with infants but sometimes I have toddlers. What I have noticed is that teachers and parents will notice when a child is doing something they shouldn't be doing and fuss at the child but they don't say anything when the child is behaving. Like praise them. So, it's often the case where a child will do something they aren't supposed to do just to be acknowledged because it's attention. Children want attention and far too often , they will misbehave just to get that negative attention because negative attention is still attention.

  • @xoallie123ful
    @xoallie123ful 2 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    This makes so much sense. When ever my daughter hits me I yell no and she just smiles and continues to hit. This was very helpful, thank you.

    • @sandiipants21
      @sandiipants21 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      I say be gentle with mommy. Then i grab babies hand to caress my face

  • @sarahwhitby136
    @sarahwhitby136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    Omg I love this video! For a little while now if my baby hits I say “We are gentle” and stroke her arm. Now when I say gentle she has just started saying it too and stroking her own arm! It provides her the distraction and she loves being able to do it too. Thank you for this video!

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Well Done! That was all you!

    • @myyt3824
      @myyt3824 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Aww ❤

    • @lauradragan2800
      @lauradragan2800 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I love this approach and do something similar with my 18 month old!!

    • @alexis11factor
      @alexis11factor ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My daughter does this too now, i say "be gentle" and she would caress my face 😂

    • @Audioobscure
      @Audioobscure ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Easy when they're babies

  • @ruthy2027
    @ruthy2027 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Asking for what you want is one of the most effective ways to improve children’s behaviour, great advice.

  • @SicarioSideral
    @SicarioSideral 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Only paying attention to a child when they misbehave reinforces the bad behavior because they learn to seek out the negative reward of your attention. I totally agree with this video, a calm and neutral voice is so powerful, guide by example not only by words and the child will follow. No matter how young, it’s never too early to create healthy communication and habits, a grown adult seeking negative reward is a terrible prospect, they will suffer in many aspects of life. Thank you for sharing this!

  • @kasban8672
    @kasban8672 2 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Two years ago I had just gotten my puppy and would watch videos that explained how much further you can get with positive reinforcement, now I'm here watching for the benefit of my 3m twins and it's the same principles. ❤️

    • @vacafuega
      @vacafuega ปีที่แล้ว +3

      As someone who is married to an adult twin, please do take the time to read about twin-specific needs, and follow the recommendations (healthy individuation, supporting their bond, never treat them as a unit, teach them to celebrate each other's successes...) it's not as "fun" as dressing them up like cute dolls, but you'll save them mental health issues that they would otherwise have to carry for life. Thank you!

    • @turtlepenguinXkizuna
      @turtlepenguinXkizuna ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I was just thinking how much this has in common with dog training so I’m glad somebody else had the same thought as me! 😂

    • @nelus7276
      @nelus7276 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If you can't train a dog, don't have children. Simple as that. Should be law.

    • @sandiipants21
      @sandiipants21 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Behavior is behavior

    • @mangot589
      @mangot589 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I used to get absolutely horrified looks, for teaching my children like a puppy with basic behavior, and having the nerve to actually SAY it🙈. I didn’t Preach it or anything. This was the early 80’s. Well, my kids behaved, theirs didn’t, and they ASKED lol. 🤷‍♀️. It just seemed really simple to me. Mean it. Good behavior gets rewarded. Bad behavior doesn’t. My dogs behaved too lol. (Another “miracle” lol). Of course, they had dogs “that wouldn’t listen”. too. 🙄 I didn’t hit, and yeah, sometimes I raised my voice to get their attention. Big deal. They’re grown now, obviously, and we all have really good relationships.

  • @blackgown7485
    @blackgown7485 2 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    My son loves throwing blocks especially seeing the reaction when it hits us lol now i used to say no throwing but he found this funny...his only 2 lol so now i put the blocks away when he starts n i take them out once he has calmed down. I do actually say play nicely and no throwing whilst putting them away because i think its important for him to know no throwing is allowed and he will associate the no throwing n seeing me putting them away so he knows for next time. It is working....

    • @Lesrena7
      @Lesrena7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This is great advice. Thanks for sharing ❤

    • @lessehead
      @lessehead 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      yes, as a 30 yr teacher, it’s called consequences for undesirable behavior. Talk means nothing. Actions mean everything. Show them that you mean business.

  • @sarahjardine5922
    @sarahjardine5922 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I love how you’ve stayed so genuine and open and vulnerable throughout the years. It’s such a pleasure to share your family’s experiences and watch it grow! Always brings a smile to my face watching your videos ❤

  • @Kaitygirlrocks
    @Kaitygirlrocks 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I have worked in Behavioral Intervention Therapy for 7 years and this entire video is exactly what we teach during Parent Training! This is an excellent resource for all ages!
    We always teach "Avoiding Attention Based Reinforcement for Undesired Behaviors", "Behavior Redirection", and "Correcting Behavior through Modeling & Guiding" as foundational skills for Behavioral Intervention!

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      What a lovely compliment! Thank you so much for sharing!

  • @caitlins6561
    @caitlins6561 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Such good advice, Emma! Sometimes I feel like a broken record around my son "no, no, no, no". I will definitely be taking a different approach from now on!

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks so much. Hope it helps!

  • @samsmom400
    @samsmom400 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    When I was in college, I accidently ended up in a childhood development class. It's one of the best accidents of my life. I had never had children, but I realized that a lot of things that I thought I knew were wrong.
    I will never forget finding out that the reason babies throw their food on the floor is because they're learning about dropping or something. I can't remember. But what I realized is that I shouldn't get upset, it was part of the learning process.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      So true, a lot of their behaviour is just learning! The reason you're referring to re: dropping their food is object permanency. Which just means they have learnt that something continues to exist even when they can't see it and this often results in them dropping the food off the table to find it.

    • @samsmom400
      @samsmom400 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmmaHubbard Thank you for that reminder, that class was like 30 years ago.

    • @torment5542
      @torment5542 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@EmmaHubbardand cause and effect 😊

  • @Kwizii
    @Kwizii ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Im experienced in dog training and I'm a new nom. Every single advice here applies to dog training as well and is what I show owners work. I'm happy all the same principles apply to babies as it is my natural way of behaving as the mommy/owner.

    • @PureAdrenalin3342
      @PureAdrenalin3342 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Definitely!!!! Learning about positive reinforcement and animal behaviour in order to have a great relationship with my border collies made me so much better prepared for helping to raise three grandchildren. Of course, border collies are very smart and know that there are only two genders.

    • @Anthony-kd4rz
      @Anthony-kd4rz ปีที่แล้ว

      It's all based on the same behavioural understanding and condition psychology.

    • @maddythelion
      @maddythelion 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@PureAdrenalin3342 What a strange ending to your comment.

  • @Yeaitsej
    @Yeaitsej ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This video helps about 20% of people. Not every child is the same regardless if yelling or not some kids need reinforcement of their bad behavior. I've tried speaking calmly to one of my children who in turn continued. But when I raised my voice and expressed anger they stopped completely and moved on. As well as having to be removed from the area completely of something they wanted.

    • @Kiki-Aims
      @Kiki-Aims ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Every kid is different. And yelling is detrimental for each one.
      It's not like making instant noodles, you probably need to work on your patience, instead of culling your child out from accepted and encouraged treatment methods.

  • @lolaodubitan968
    @lolaodubitan968 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you so very much! When I say stop, my infant starts to laugh and do even more of what I'm asking her to stop! So this is so true. Thank you! Valuable advice. 👍

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You are so welcome!

  • @CrisTina-tp2jg
    @CrisTina-tp2jg ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Excellent advice. Not for just children but relating with other adults state what you want not what you don’t want.

  • @KristinaSandnes
    @KristinaSandnes 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    My baby is 11 months and has started kind of testing what she can do. Whenever she does something she shouldn't, I sit there completely calm (unless I actually need to run and save her from something, obviously) and I say "uh-uh" (meaning no). Just a simple sound, but she will stop whatever she's doing. She MIGHT do it one or two more times. All I say is uh-uh and she will find something else to do. 😄🙌

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks so much for sharing. Sounds like this strategy is working well for you and your little one!

  • @jancoley9051
    @jancoley9051 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dear Abby said it years ago- instead of telling a child what not to do, tell them what to do.
    Great advice from you both.

  • @SicSamperTyranus
    @SicSamperTyranus ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love this so many people give advice telling me to say no and be more aggressive about it like Louder and make a stern face and that has made my son laugh and he doesn't stop so I've no learned what to actually do, plus I learned that people give stupid advice on things they know nothing about and have never tried to learn. My husband and my grandma!

  • @daniyaishak7605
    @daniyaishak7605 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have been yelling at my 18 months old baby boy and tngs went hard on me but now after seeing your video I know how to deal with him ....tnx Emma

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No worries at all. Parenting can be so hard. Just remember to be kind to yourself. It’s ok to not do it perfectly every single time.

  • @cellyjohnson
    @cellyjohnson ปีที่แล้ว +5

    For the most part, I have adapted the approach of telling my toddler what he can do as opposed to what he cannot do. The problem is that for some actions, there is no alternative. For example, if he is trying to touch the stove, there is no alternative to that. The bottom line is that he cannot touch the stove.I’ll try to distract him with something, but he becomes locked in on the stove until I say “no”. Side note: he understands the concept of hot. He doesn’t touch the oven when it’s on. But he does try to play with the nobs when it is off.

  • @OperaticRockstar
    @OperaticRockstar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    You always make me feel so confident in my parenting choices! Thank you!

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That is so nice to hear! It is so nice to know that this information is making you feel confident in your parenting choices.
      Enjoy the crazy ride of parenting!😊

  • @melissak9627
    @melissak9627 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This just happened to me at lunch today with my toddler. I didn't even search for this video it just came up. I clearly needed to see it. Thank you!

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hope it helps! 😊

  • @thaolai1357
    @thaolai1357 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm Also a glam-ma and watching this video. I see myself doing much better than 25 yeara ago. Thanks.

  • @sangmanndar
    @sangmanndar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Hello Emma, Thanks for your efforts to teach parents how to be better at parenting.

  • @SB-vo5jn
    @SB-vo5jn 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I've just started working at a childcare centre. I'll definitely try it out!

  • @ToddWife
    @ToddWife 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Your channel is awesome! Thank you so much for all your hard work!
    From tracking my baby's growth in my tummy to now dealing with the toddler attitude almost 2 years later, you have given me so much helpful advice and encouragement, ideas, and knowledge. Thank you!!

  • @shineisland7447
    @shineisland7447 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Sending to my daughter, thank you! Wish I’d see this as a new mother. ❤️

  • @quirkyk2033
    @quirkyk2033 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Thanks, Emma. Another great video at the perfect time. I always look forward to what advice you will share next.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🙏
      Hope the video was helpful!

  • @christinesyntax4067
    @christinesyntax4067 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    When my parents told me “No” in a loud voice, I knew exactly I was doing something that was not allowed and stopped the wrong behavior.

  • @dianamills3830
    @dianamills3830 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great video! I dont yell at my child but I do become more animated when I am trying to divert her attention when she is making a mess. I noticed that if I say to not do something she does it. I figured she doesn't understand but I wasn't sure how to address these problems when they come up. Telling them what to so makes so much sense. Thanks!

  • @amandaspalencia
    @amandaspalencia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Thank you so much for this. We are really going through it with our 2.5 year old and I know this will help us a lot.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No worries at all. Hope it helps!

    • @TheSTribe22
      @TheSTribe22 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same, girl! Hang in there! 😭

  • @Trysaratop
    @Trysaratop 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I love all these advices which I did with my first son and it was affective how ever when he was barely 2 I had a second baby and he would almost get hurt many times which I did not have free hands to stop him in the moment with an infant and unfortunately yelling was the only way I could get him to stop, I ask people all the time what else I could have done better and the answer was always have someone help you and unfortunately I do not have that support in life but now they are both toddlers and I'm still engaging in anger when I can physically remove things more which after this video I plan on doing because I am causing bad behavior with my bad behavior

    • @nelus7276
      @nelus7276 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hope you're doing well now 😊

  • @MrsLanthier
    @MrsLanthier 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This make totally sense, for luck my little girl is 6 months old so I can try this from the beginning 🙏

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fantastic! Definitely a good idea to start saying this at the start because it will make it so much easier.

  • @sarahroberts7374
    @sarahroberts7374 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Been stuck inside with teething baby on a stormy day.. video deffo came at the right time thank you!!

  • @4ajustpeace
    @4ajustpeace 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    LOL, I work with developmentally disabled adults and your strategy is basically what we do: ignore the behavior, redirect, and lavish praise for appropriate behavior. Although, sometimes, because I have a good rapport with most and know when they can take a joke, I'll react hysterically in a funny way and they'll get the message. Thanks for all your good advice!

  • @poonamaivalli
    @poonamaivalli 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I applied your suggestions and I can really see the difference. You're a life saver.

  • @maevendemini
    @maevendemini 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have a daycare and I use the phrase no, no, no throughout the day and it works for me. Now granted I'm not yelling and waving my arms. I simply say no, no, no and state whatever behavior I'm no to, then redirect them. This works for me.

    • @sanjidaislam1396
      @sanjidaislam1396 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      U r wrong

    • @miimonalisa
      @miimonalisa ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sanjidaislam1396 can’t be wrong when something works for you

  • @DrKniz
    @DrKniz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Avoid saying no? No its not a bad word. It teaches boundaries. So what would happen when they start interacting with people other that you when they get older? They wouldn't understand what it means to hear the words, No! Stop, don't do that! I dont like that!! Ect
    We all know how that would end....

  • @brendaababey
    @brendaababey 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you !!! I do notice my son wanting to hit me even more when I tell him “no hitting mommy “ he thinks it’s the funniest thing I probably look silly to him with my reaction 😅

  • @priusa8113
    @priusa8113 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Emma, can you pleaseeee do a video on excessive thumb sucking?! My daughter is 16 months old ( not walking yet!) and sucks her thumb when she is: bored, annoyed, sad, tired… pretty much for everything! She never took a pacifier so I didn’t give much attention but don’t want her palate and teeth to be messed up. Redirecting or saying thumbs down doesn’t really work and am unsure of safety of nasty tasting polish. It’s even cracking the skin of this particular thumb:( I used to bite my nails for over 20 years and the idea of these harmful oral coping mechanisms really scares me… please share your wisdom on a detailed video!! Love your channel, it’s very helpful!! Priscila from Boston USA

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hi @Pri USA thanks for the suggestion. I don't currently have a video on this topic but I do have one on thumb sucking in general. Some of the information might be helpful. Here is the video in case you would like to watch it: th-cam.com/video/OZjLwaXcRWY/w-d-xo.html

    • @beatrizoliveros5569
      @beatrizoliveros5569 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I need that, too

  • @munazzaatif8569
    @munazzaatif8569 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi everyone. I'm a breastfeed mom of 4months Baby Girl. She is co sleeper. She didn't sleep in her bed. And her cat naps in day time are not finished yet. She sleep well in night. Its hard for me to hold her all day her Dad went on work and i have no other member in ireland. Watch alot of videos and tricks to train her but she is the Boss 😍

    • @freshgreen54
      @freshgreen54 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I found the papoose was a life-saver for me in this situation.

  • @lilangelanie
    @lilangelanie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My 6months old bubba throws more toys on floor when he's in high chair when I say NO
    But when I realise he wants me there and my attention n I start play with him then he doesn't do that
    Thank you for sharing this video to understand baby's behaviour 💜

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So glad this video has helped you understand your baby's behaviour!

    • @lilangelanie
      @lilangelanie 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmmaHubbard I wait for your videos as they're very helpful for new parents .
      God bless you

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's so nice. Thanks so much!

  • @TheTaffimup
    @TheTaffimup 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I was wondering why my son laughs and repeats the behavior 🙈...thank you!!

  • @CTRiver14
    @CTRiver14 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Love your videos and advice. I have sent the links to my daughter who has a 17 month old. I know it will be helpful. She is a wonderful Mom but being a first time Mom of an active toddler is always a challenge.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for sharing!!

  • @Yohanna_Santana
    @Yohanna_Santana ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks so much for your video! It helped me a lot with my 13 months old she likes hitting me,dad and her brother, since I started applying your advices instead of saying “ no! Stop!” I’ve had seen a huge difference!

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s so good! Awesome work!

  • @miimonalisa
    @miimonalisa ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My son will be 2 next month.. it’s been so difficult the last few weeks I feel like he has gotten out of that stage where he was my sweet little baby boy and he’s more independent and doesn’t listen unless we raise our voice and even then that doesn’t work all the time. so stressful, and I try to just get through it day by day, without ruining him, and constantly looking for tools to be a better mother, to give him the proper tools to grow and express his self.

    • @laceandribbonsviolin
      @laceandribbonsviolin หลายเดือนก่อน

      I had similar problems although I didn’t have boys but what has helped some is raising the consequence instead of raising my voice (it doesn’t always work! Sometimes I do have to raise my voice; but i try to be mindful of giving attention and praise even for little things they do to help before and after misbehavior, because I want them to feel like they are good at something even on their bad days). If they dint listen to me or their sister the first or second time (depending on circumstances) they lose something important to them and have to earn it back. On their bad misbehavior days it’s so rough, but the upside is it’s kinda nice to not have so many toys cluttering everything 😅
      Hang in there❤

  • @pumpkinpied4418
    @pumpkinpied4418 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for telling me what to do. my baby is an example of this undesirable behavior

  • @Black_Samurai-fish
    @Black_Samurai-fish ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I give a stern face, say no in a stern voice and remove the object-stop the action. If they do it again I put them in time out = their playpen. They cry and I’ll ignore it. It’s worked well for me.

  • @yellowglider
    @yellowglider 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I can assure you that when I say something in an “intense” toke my kid is NOT thinking I’m “funny”…

  • @lakeishabarrett5263
    @lakeishabarrett5263 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video! I've been doing it wrong. I don't know why I didn't look this up sooner!

  • @rachelminori
    @rachelminori ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is an AMAZING video!!! Such great tips with very clear “why”’s and what to do instead. It seems so simple, but this is a rare teaching video that’s ACTUALLY helpful. Thank you thank you thank you.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว

      You're so welcome!

    • @EmpressAlexandra_Therian
      @EmpressAlexandra_Therian ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@EmmaHubbardMy lil cousin Magdalene (she is 4)throws a tantrum and said to me swear words that i dont know the meaning like:Oh macarois poop or other swear words that i know the meaning:disgusting pervert,etc.,and my cousin's brother Is 8 and says words like:sh!t,etc.

  • @jabulilem1474
    @jabulilem1474 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Perfect timing, thank you for this🙂… I’ve been struggling with my 10 month old ever since she turned 5months😅.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome!

  • @Aiii_me6682
    @Aiii_me6682 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wish I knew this before I had my 2 boys but never the less am still going to use it with my third boy he's only a month though but am preparing. Thanks Emma

  • @realwmm
    @realwmm ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Emma, I absolutely love your videos. They're unfortunately not timely for me because my kids are already grown up, and my first two grandsons are no longer toddlers. I have my fingers crossed that my daughter will change her mind and decide to have children in the next year or two... In the meantime, I will always recommend your channel to others.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm so glad!

    • @Breyerluvr4eva
      @Breyerluvr4eva ปีที่แล้ว

      I wish I had a mother in law like you. We told my mother in law that our 2 yr old is going to be a big sister soon and she started screaming in my face making a scene and screaming lies about my medical information to everyone who was congratulating her. Then slammed the door on me.

  • @JIR89
    @JIR89 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I wish our older parent’s generation had this video accessible. We used to get the snots slapped out of us when we did something undesirable. But the older method also worked.

  • @TenThousandDoors
    @TenThousandDoors 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I know this comment is on an old video and might not be seen at all, but something really helpful to me as a soon-to-be new mom and current new stepmom to toddlers would be a video dedicated to alternative actions for undesirable behavior.
    Often I find myself saying no or stop, and since I can't find an appropriate alternative in the moment, I get frustrated and just leave it at that.
    For example: our almost 2yr old hits his big brother who is doing something he doesn't like. He doesn't yet have the words to TELL his brother he doesn't like that, so saying "use your words, bubba" doesn't really help. "Be nice" isn't specific enough, and "gentle" just ignores the fact that he's upset and needs something to stop happening.
    Any advice?

    • @sarahvee1516
      @sarahvee1516 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      She kind of addresses that @5:00
      Maybe you could try grabbing his hands and say "nice hands" and then demonstrate by turning to his brother holding your hand up like a stop sign and say "no"

  • @j.vanbreugel2378
    @j.vanbreugel2378 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love love love these video's. However it is sometimes really hard to understand what you're saying due to the background music. Wish I could turn that off somewhere :D
    Other than that, thanks again for all the insights!

  • @annamendoza3479
    @annamendoza3479 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Great video! I learned lots of helpful strategies to employ with my little one. Thank you so much! Hope you can do a series on this and/or gentle parenting.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for the idea!

  • @elabrown307
    @elabrown307 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I will definitely try this today with the children

  • @alittlebitofdeepa7573
    @alittlebitofdeepa7573 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Great video!! Very helpful as I've been trying different ways to stop my 12 month old from doing things that I don't like. The first time she hit me with a toy.. I said Ouch..because it hurt me but she laughed and hit me again because she thought it was funny. She likes to pull my hair, but they don't understand that it hurts... do they? Sometimes When I try to stop her from doing something she hits herself.. how do i deal with her?😒 Thanks very much Emma! Please make more videos on this topic.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Hi @deepali pai so glad you found this video helpfu!
      You’re correct in thinking your little one doesn’t know that she is hurting you when she throws a toy or pulls your hair.
      You might find she stops doing this things after you start to tell her what to do when she does things you don’t like. So for example if she throws the block, direct her to put the blocks into a container.
      When she pulls your hair it is important to figure out why she is doing it. If she is doing it because she is upset you could say, I can see your upset, it is ok to be upset but it is not ok to pull mummy’s hair and I would recommend you place her on the ground beside you or you stand up so she can’t pull your hair. Then tell her what she can do instead.
      Hope that helps!

    • @mitchellmagaya7320
      @mitchellmagaya7320 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My problem right now 😢❤

  • @Infinipassion
    @Infinipassion 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    And thank you for all your hard work and guidance. Knowing your research is peer reviewed along with your extensive experience really provides a comforting relief especially for this 1st time type A mama.

  • @akinshipozainab1688
    @akinshipozainab1688 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Love this video, thank you. Seding this to my colleagues asap

  • @creationsbykaf3221
    @creationsbykaf3221 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hello,
    Thank you so much for this video. This is what i was looking for.
    Please please make more videos on this topic.
    My 13 month old starts crying and hitting when i dont give him something or i stop him.. i find myself saying no or stop every single time. Its difficult not to..
    Please teach me how to calm a toddler while he is crying.. how to make them actually listen when you are telling them not to do something..

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for the video topic suggestion. I'll try to do more in the future!

  • @courtneyanne1986
    @courtneyanne1986 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Can you please cover taking turns and how to stop a 2 yr old from snatching toys away from other kids. I have tried so many times but it is exhausting and he does seem to get it

  • @lawaincooley6788
    @lawaincooley6788 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    My son is almost 2 and he pushes anyone in reach at seemingly odd times. We don't know what he is thinking. I say Be gentle! Don't push. Be gentle. I either put him in time out or take his favorite toy.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi Lawain it can be hard to identify why a toddler is doing a behaviour. But it is important to remember that behaviours are a form of communication. Your toddler might use the same behaviour (pushing) to communicate multiple things. What's important is to try and identify why the behaviour is occurring and then teach your little one the skill or words to express what they are trying to communicate.
      It might also be worth trying to tell your little one what to do. So if they are pushing to be affectionate instead of saying Be gentle! say "Pat, pat" and hold their hand if needed to pat your arm.

  • @kaw8473
    @kaw8473 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My 1 year old locked up screaming in the high chair with his eyes closed. I remained calm and realized he just wanted a bottle of milk before he continued with solids. It must be so frustrating for non verbal toddlers.

  • @sisik1613
    @sisik1613 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I hate how poor children's behaviors are always supposed to be the parents fault. I'm so calm with this little girl and she's having tantrum after tantrum and takes my calmness to try and run over me.

    • @IHaveaPinkBeard
      @IHaveaPinkBeard 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That sounds frustrating. Hang in there. It gets better. Lead with love. Everything works eventually.

  • @Fverheijden
    @Fverheijden 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much. My baby is 9 months. So glad I learned this on time. I just realise that this might work the same for adults. What do you think.

  • @gloriamintabanon5837
    @gloriamintabanon5837 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Perfect timing 👌 for us. Will gladly use these steps. Thanks

  • @Marinaddee
    @Marinaddee 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have a very active and spoiled 12 month old. This video came just in time for me, thank you so much!

  • @ascensioncano3606
    @ascensioncano3606 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Excellent advices for Families and TEACHERS. Thank you for sharing this amazing information 🙏🙏

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's my pleasure

  • @BrowneyesPrincess
    @BrowneyesPrincess 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Emma you always read my mind at the right time. I have been thinking about buying a book to teach good manners to my baby to learn how to stop them from doing undesirable things and how to and wat to do. Thanks for putting up this video😀😍

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's my pleasure 😊

  • @camillion23
    @camillion23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great advice I’m definitely a yeller and working on better communication! Totally unrelated but where did you get those beautiful earrings? They’re so unique

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hopefully the tips in the video help!
      The earrings are pretty nice! I got them from a small coastal town in Australia by a local. Sorry!

  • @Angela-wr6rl
    @Angela-wr6rl ปีที่แล้ว

    Love this! I have two year old twins and one will often get frustrated and push her sister, even if they aren’t near each other. We’ve taught “nice hands” but that doesn’t help when she’s angry. I would love some suggestions!

  • @musicfreak315
    @musicfreak315 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hitting question, what would be an appropriate natural consequence for when my 15M son continues to hit people or the cat? We tried showing through our action or gently hold his had to show action to “pat/pet nicely”, but is continuing behavior to point where it’s hard to refrain from reacting to my eye getting whacked or cat grows impatient and scratches my son if I don’t see my son hitting/squishing the cat to pull him away.
    Mind you this is a very loving, paternal cat to my son, and didn’t start reacting till the hitting began (which even then will always come attend my son if crying). We are still staying persistent on the gentle approach, and that I can tell he just seems excited/playing when it occurs. Hoping to work on a way to teach expressing his excitement/play without hitting, but wondering if it gets to a point of natural consequence what would be appropriate for this age? (Besides taking cat to another room which is one I do so far just to eliminate “I still see so I will still do”)

  • @lesleywhibley
    @lesleywhibley ปีที่แล้ว

    When my boy were little I used to sit them down and tell them if they missed behave they get nothing and stuck to that so they learnt if their good they got a treat but if they wasn't they got nothing, simple.

  • @AmriDeLeon
    @AmriDeLeon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for this information. Ive been struggling with this.

  • @tankgrl1980
    @tankgrl1980 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you! A beautiful summary of behavioral psychology principles from a wonderful OT lense.

  • @littletwinephotography
    @littletwinephotography 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    In psychology we refer to positive re-enforcement or negative re-enforcement, but this doesn't mean what you think.
    Positive means adding, negative means taking away. Both can be used as reward or punishment. Ie - adding a chore (positive) as punishment (older children) or taking attention away (negative re-enforcement).
    If you are giving them more attention this in in fact positive re-enforcement and can be enforcing the behavior as explained by Emma.
    Please note that children do not develop a contentiousness until 5-6 years old. So they are not aware in the ways we think, their brains are in fact very inferior contrary to what it seems at times.
    Please note that anger causes anxiety in your children, which leads to them feeling angry, as anger is a secondary emotion to stress and anxiety.

  • @RemiWallace-te1tv
    @RemiWallace-te1tv 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Me giving my toddler options has made her behavior worse. Think I'll pass. Thanks.

  • @deborahmontgomery7881
    @deborahmontgomery7881 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yes perfect timing! We are constantly saying “no, that’s not a toy, why don’t we go play with your toys…no don’t throw your toys, they will break…no don’t hit mommy that’s not nice”
    It makes sense they throw their toys when they’re done playing, since they throw food when they’re done eating.
    We will try this

  • @EmmaHubbard
    @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for watching! Do you use this phrase? Don't forget to get your free 0 - 12 months old developmental milestone chart here:
    brightestbeginning.com/12monthmilestones/

    • @lilangelanie
      @lilangelanie 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks Emma I've sent my chart request

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fantastic. Hope you get it soon.

    • @lilangelanie
      @lilangelanie 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmmaHubbard got it. Thanks 😊

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lilangelanie Awesome. Hopefully you find it helpful!

  • @khushbookashyap30
    @khushbookashyap30 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    V helpful video, currently I'm going through such situations. Thank u.🙏🏼

  • @okay_but_still
    @okay_but_still 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Here because my boy thinks “no” is funny. Now I understand why. Time to switch up my approach!

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks so much for watching. Hope this helps!

  • @BellaMecia
    @BellaMecia 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love this video, please make more. What can you say to your toddler who is pushing his little brother or anyone at the park to prevent this behavior ?

    • @lawaincooley6788
      @lawaincooley6788 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      My son (almost 2) does that too...

    • @nelus7276
      @nelus7276 ปีที่แล้ว

      I've always just calmly told them that that's not acceptable and that the activity is over if they do it again. Always give a warning and explanation first, then let them feel an immediate consequence if the keep doing it. Never make a threat you're unwilling to actually do. Never make a promise you can't keep either.

  • @kathykyle9319
    @kathykyle9319 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just found your channel out of desperate searching. My granddaughter is driving me NUTS. Our eldest daughter, our granddaughter, and our youngest daughter all live with us. I have severe arthritis in my knees, and it’s hard to get around. My oldest daughter believes that she is entitled to round-the-clock help. She actually expected me to full time babysit. I did that for a year. But once the walking started, I enrolled her part-time in daycare. But I SWEAR she must have ADHD, because she is all over the place like a bee on a sunny day. She goes from one thing to the next. I can’t keep up. On top of that, she does NOT listen.,She may as well be deaf. When I get down to her eye level and try to speak to her, she looks everywhere but me. Maybe she’s autistic. I don’t know. But she does not listen. At all.

    • @Vivtmbs1
      @Vivtmbs1 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You might want to have her evaluated to see if there is some kind of attention concern or rule out anything else. Toddlers definitely don’t like to listen but they should show the ability to. Not 100% of the time, obviously, but often enough that they respond and interact with you

    • @JackieRoseMarie
      @JackieRoseMarie ปีที่แล้ว

      Sounds like a child that needs discipline not diagnosis. Experts these days only offer diagnosis. If you refuse to teach a child the meaning of "No" then you're going to have a difficult child. First step is stop looking for experts online like this it's almost always awful terrible advice. Look at the state of the kids these days, this is where the parents get their advice.
      Dr Ray Guarendi. There is where you can find real solid actual parenting advise.

  • @laurenc7250
    @laurenc7250 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Loved the video! Thanks Emma for sharing your knowledge it is always appreciated! 😊

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @KS-vp7ek
    @KS-vp7ek 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How about sockets? Cables? The older brother’s toys?

  • @LukeJessicaYan
    @LukeJessicaYan 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    this was very helpful and makes a lot of sense! thanks! definitely in that phase now - food throwing and hitting ha.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @LightLove-m6t
    @LightLove-m6t ปีที่แล้ว

    Good to start with this approach until the child starts to "test" you which most will especially the strong willed child so there will need to be more than what is advised in this vid to correct and discipline a child- always when calm and with love.

  • @anamfatima9813
    @anamfatima9813 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s just normal child behavior and most of the kids going through all. I am EYFS teacher and also a Mom I know it’s not staying long if I ignore

  • @seanicegrace7833
    @seanicegrace7833 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have actually been hitting my one year atimes thinking am disciplining him, but after I feel sad coz he remains puzzled not knowing what's going on....but thanks so much for this video it has taught me

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว

      So glad it has helped!

  • @matthewbaier766
    @matthewbaier766 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi there
    What’s a natural consequence to throwing food if it’s because they don’t want a particular item (I.E. not wanting to eat his vegetables)?

  • @satbirkaur3151
    @satbirkaur3151 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    That’s a great advice….but what to do if child starts to cry and scream when mum starts to put the blocks away? And what to do if a toddler stops eating the food after being shown to feed and not throw the food? Advice please

  • @Maharatriangirl
    @Maharatriangirl ปีที่แล้ว

    It's working for me thanks 👍

  • @dillydanny-o8807
    @dillydanny-o8807 ปีที่แล้ว

    I started watching these with baby #2, and it’s discouraging to see how wrong I approached some things with my first baby. Really makes me feel bad, like somehow I may have hurt his development. I hope maybe there is a way to fix some mistakes from earlier childhood phases now that he’s almost three. 😢 That would be a really helpful video-something for parents who think they messed up but want to help change it, if it’s not too late.

    • @EmmaHubbard
      @EmmaHubbard  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That was never my intention with these videos.
      I am sure you did and continue to be an amazing parent! Just being there for your first child and responding to their needs was enough.
      Also it’s important to remember that it’s never too late. Kids are so adaptable and as parents we are constantly learning.

    • @dillydanny-o8807
      @dillydanny-o8807 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmmaHubbard thanks! I guess it’ll just be a work in progress haha. And of course I don’t think it’s your fault or anything about how you made the video that’s wrong, it’s just me lol. Sometimes the parent guilt strikes at odd times.

  • @kalilajennings1313
    @kalilajennings1313 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    No wonder mine has started mimicking this behavior