Why YOUR Silence Always Wins Against a Narcissist
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- #narcissist #no contact #narc con
Your silence post discard is the best possible healing tool for you and the worst possible outcome for a narcissist who is reliant on your negative emotional output for narcissistic supply. Disrupting this particular stage of the NPD behaviour cycle does not go down well with a narcissist. Your silence makes a very loud noise in a narcissist’s head particularly when supply runs low from other sources. For the narcissist’s former partner no contact or going silent expedites healing and is definitely the most effective way to avenge appropriately a cruel discard and any further wrongdoing on the narcissist’s part.
Coaching Enquiries - narcscon@gmail.com
Don’t react, they want reaction whether negative or positive. They CRAVE the attention. It’s all about them and never you ❤
They really are hypnotic emotional and mental total VAMPIRES 🙄😂! To be avoided wherever possible ! 😉
Exactly, I learned this from countless experiences with narcs
Right, attention gives narcs their fix--narc supply. I refuse to be their narc dealer. They have to go elsewhere
They narcissist has to resort to taking because they realize in reality they aren't really worth giving anything to. They will yell out verbal insults to get a reaction even if it's negative because to them something us better than nothing because they are really trash who aren't worth anything at all.
❤
That dog is how you’ll feel after ridding your life from a narc. Peace😊
😂
Remy is so innocent and sweet.
😂
Peace is right. A wash of calm comes over you and extends to those around you. I'm seeing that for myself and my family after going no contact.
Yessss
“They cannot manipulate you, if they have no contact with you!” BOOM! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👊🏽👊🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
Exactly 💯! 🤜🤛💪💪💪
Unless you have to talk to someone they are with. Then you can hear them through comments the flying monkeys
BOOM! Love it. No contact has been my sanity
Hahaha! No way can they bug u leave em!
Who needs a relationship that badly??
That dog is living the good life.
Definitely ❤ Now I would love to be him. My ex took so much from me. I'm starting again from 0. My narc dad sees me as a total looser and blocks my empathic mom's help to me. I have to sell some of belongings now to even have some money for the weekend. I have my son every weekend with me, usually. Not sure about these days. I feel tired and helpless like never before. I wish the best for everyone.
I wonder if he knows Gus😄
@@iseewhatyoudidthere1245 I Wonder if he IS Gus!
Yesss. Lol
right lol too cute
Silence equals peacefulness. Anytime I attempted to engage, peacefulness went straight out the window. Silence is a sanity saver.
AMEN....... absolutely true! 👍💯🎯
Yes. It’s the only way you can survive
The narcissist uses neglect to manipulate, demoralize and control. The empath uses silence to protect him/herself. That's the difference.
I think you should stop watching negative videos
Wow I needed to hear this!
There's no such thing as being an 'empath'. You're just a human with a particular amount of empathy on the empathy spectrum. Some have too much, some have a healthy amount, and few have a deficit.
Same difference @@alabama.worley
i don't even want to "win". i just want the abuse to stop
You can stop it with silence. Zero contact is a must
I don't think of it as winning or losing or as a competition. I can't even hope they would stop being abusive either. I did back-away-slowly, then ran!
@@millville
It is kind of competition for the narcissist.
And... once they consider they have "possessed" you, you "belong" to them for ever.
They are really sick in their mind.
Yes because when its up to "win" is about a "game" and we don't play this sick game with them...something they really want us to do..
If you’re dealing with a real narcissist, the abuse will never stop. The cycle is lovebomb, devalue, abuse, discard, Hoover, lovebomb again devalue again, abuse even worse and worse as each discard , and discard again (longer and longer at times) until you surrender to their abuse. That’s why we go through a lot of discards with a narcissist because it’s their game to wear you down until you break and can’t be fixed anymore. There’s no hope in changing a heartless creature from hell. They do not want love, they do not want to be changed, what they want is human bodies to collect to provide their supply to keep their demons thriving. A narcissist NEEDS people to suck the life out of in simple terms. It will never change with a narcissist they are too far gone for that to happen. The only thing awaits a narcissist is hell and we have to step out the way or they will take us with them, that is their fate and you cannot go against god. They will always have multiple people they need a lot of supply because what they have are demon”S”not just a demon.
Go no contact with the narcissist, they only hurt you.
They're crazy people
Silence and absence is needed to control the narcissist.
No believe me he dont Care he have a huge list of people 😂😢😢😢😅😅
Why control a narcissist? Isn't a controlling person narcissistic? Although I believe we all have different levels of narcissism.
The "silent treatment" can often make them move on to the next person. So it's not controlling as much as letting go. Or in some cases, as on forensic files, bring about more dangerous situations... In that case, get the law involved.
@@heidimarie8179the silent treatment is not so mush meant for punishment for him/ her as it is a protective measure to take you out of the environment and source of abuse. It will affect them and hopefully convince them that you are no longer a source for their feeding their deranged ego.
@@heidimarie8179 Agreed! I'm not trying to 'win' some stupid game that they're trying to play. I GHOST is a what I do nowadays. (No more words being misquoted from my tell-off speech.. I'm not even gonna give THEM nor the FLYING MONKEYS-- who have been giggling and cheerleading behind my back obviously for way too long-- the satisfaction!!)
On target! Go silent. Works every time. The key to freedom. Avoid them like the plague. Go silent and ignore the lunacy. Be at peace and set yourself free.
At Peace now after months of NO CONTACT. Praise God For Him rescuing me.
👏🏼
@@marytaylor9504Really? I've been separated for 2 and 1/2 years and no contact for a year and I'm still totally traumatised by how brutal the discard was
@FreeBrunoPowroznik praying and believing God will bring you Peace that surpasses al understanding!
@@marytaylor9504 I'm not religious but thanks anyway
Silent treatment from a narcissist is quite welcome.
They volunteered to stop annoying me.
Hahaha
Yes! Like just please go silent and stay that way 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂Yeeeesssssss!!!! Sometimes the trash takes itself out!!!! 😊
Cool, I like it.
the SMS message , i got now already the second time after one year is : hello, I want to talk to you. I really don't want to bother you and talk about a new start of our relationship. "
not respecting that i do not want to talk to him. i do not want to know anything about him. no job , health or money problems. and that is what he really hates. 😅
i'm not curious and do not care .
The silent treatment is brutal, God give me the strength to let go and walk away 🙏🙏
You can do this. Prayers.
Say out loud, All of the heart breaking moments.
Over and over
The mind gets confused due to the love bombs. Love is that powerful. Amazing Addicting
The silent treatment is satanic it's really all I can say about these people they xan walk past you in the same house and look right through you as they pass by. It truly is from the devil.
17 years I lived with that. It’s so confusing to live with. And then I had no confidence at all but please 🙏 pray and there will be an opportunity for you to go. Please remember you are equal to anyone. Just as good as anyone else. Nobody deserves their cruelty and silence is cruel when it’s used in a relationship. God bless you, a quiet prayer, asking for help, He always answers ❤️
You can do it ! Pray about it too. I thought it was impossible. My ex narc husband ended our 12 year marriage over the phone , I was devastated.. now I’m no contact and it feels amaaaaaazing!!
One thing is for sure your dog is not worrying about narcissists, he's loving life on the sofa.
Rofl.
😂😂😂
Never give a narcissist your power or control.
Stay away from these people.
They're no good for anybody. A narcissist will only hurt you.
They don't know how to love.
You’ve got that right!!!! I left my ex after he literally tackled me (I have bruises & cuts all over) 3 weeks ago. I’m still in shock. My family drove hours to come get me because HE called them. THANK GOODNESS he did!!!! It saved me. I didn’t tell my parents about the physical abuse. As soon as they saw me they knew exactly what happened. I was constantly attacked 24/7. NONSTOP. When he got up off me he saw the look in my eyes. He took off running to his car. Thankfully I haven’t seen his disgusting face since.
Now he’s sending me emails with false accusations (that are actually making me laugh bc I know myself and the truth) mixed with I love you’s & we have what it takes to be together. 🤢 I’d rather chew glass. They’re truly delusional. I’m still in shock.
There are two reasons I place credibility with this woman: 1) Often she brings up the spiritual aspects of narcissism (Often ignored by other commentators), and 2) The Yellow Lab on the couch. Nobody who spoils a dog like that can tell you an untruth
There is a demonic component without a doubt.
Good call!
They must believe they can be something by making others feel like nothing.
💯💯💯
It's a learned behavior.
👍💯🎯 VERY TRUE!
So True
YOU ARE NO LONGER HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH THE DEVIL.
Praise the Lord.
Thank you for that!
I was reading your comment and hearing as she said it at the same time it is a confirmation from the Almighty God that is true!
In the name of Jesus Christ I pray for all of us dealing with these demonic entities.
Ámen
@@gnostikz8995 Yes but how do you interpret scripture that says "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."
@@FerencRezmuves-tg2mm
EPHESIANS 6:12
Fearing the LORD means respecting Him.
@@joannmclean6406 True.
Tell your Narcissist,
If your phone doesn’t ring- it’s probably me!!
Like the sound of one hand clapping. 🤚
😂yes love this one
@@JKB-ji6xl😂
😂
Clever😂😂😂😂
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning. Hallelujah🎉🎉🎉♥️
Finding yourself a good broker is as same as finding a good wife, which you go less stress,you get just enough with so much little effort at things
Walk away, ignore, have nothing more to do with them and get on with your own life and dont care what anybody thinks or says about you and see how you become happier, contented and enjoyable your life can be.
I'm emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically drained from the narcissist
I am as well. You’ve got this!!! Sending you lots of hugs ❤
❤
No worries everything comes back when you go no contact- good luck.
The worst part is that I no loner TRUST MY OWN JUDGEMENTS..HOW WAS I FOOLED THIS DEEPLY..
Your silence makes way for them to be faced by inner accusations.
Insight
I like this. The lies and accusations will target themselves!! ⚔️
Yep!
SO MUCH DRAMA with them, BYEBYE!.......lol
Never Ever seek vengeance, pray to the Almighty Most High for Justice. The pillars of his throne are Righteousness and Justice. Vengeance belongs to him ONLY.
Amen!!!❤
What happens when u have a narcissist neighbor & in ignore g
Ger & she still focus on me with using also witchcraft she's scyco & she knows I'm noafraid please give me advice
I believe in always taking the high road. Silence and going no contact are not vengeance - they are self-preservation.
Amen
SubhanAllah! Truth 🤌
It takes such a huge amount of self discipline and control to go no contact and maintain. 11 years with my mother. 7 years with the ex husband passive aggressive covert narc
I set myself free. They are pure evil.
The best revenge has been to be happy and successful
No contact 14 years with my mother! I feel better and better ❤
@@user-o6ue45hz8nr2ap 25 years and I had to ghost the whole family to make it work. best thing i ever did.
@@user-o6ue45hz8nr2ap YAY YOU!!!!
Their minds hearts are influenced, controled by the devil, that's why they lie, control manipulate, con, overreact, do all that drama n rage. They're the opposite of what God is, love, kindness, mercy, peace, joy.
The narcissist's silent treatment is equal to solitary confinement in prison and it's a cruel and unwarranted treatment that narcissist's like to dish out. Narcissist's don't want you doing to them what they do to you and their silent treatment is a good example of their shocking double-standards. Narcissists have a fear of rejection so they reject you first to avoid having to go through any pain. They want you to suffer for them and they don't care how much you suffer. Let them suffer the pain of your silence it's the best thing you can do for yourself as any words you say to them can and will be used against you. Good video.🌟
Before I 'left' them, I made sure they knew that I could and would make 'noise' if they bothered me, so my 'silence' works well for them!
To suffer because of persons without any hart??..it doesn't make any sense ..waste of time..they hope we will sit there crying because of their abuse..we will at first because of the trauma but when we got it we wont anymore...a real trap!!!
This is a great comment. Thank you.
@@LION-on4gd Narcissist's are silly people nothing about them makes sense. They are always looking for ways to trick people, they remind me of an evil clown.
@@thepragmatist 🕊👍🙂
Don't underestimate the narcissist. They are sent by the devil to destroy you. Just don't react and go quietly around them. Go silentl, as if they are not there, they are an empty shell anyway.😄
You’re absolutely correct!!!! The person I knew was gone.
It happened slowly but towards the end & especially when he literally physically tackled me I saw the demon within him….
Sooo true
Just don’t give in to the Splitting defense, as that indicates a form of narcissism as well.
@@jimstenlund6017what is splitting defense?
- yes they sure are. Steal, kill, and destroy as Jesus told us about the enemy of our lives, Satan himself and his demons. King David suffered a lot from these people with King Saul and others and his Psalms are helpful and the story of my life also!
Gods Word is true! Hallelujah! Every knee will bow to King Jesus!
These people have no fear of God as scripture declares and they think God does not see or hear! Wrong!!
No doubt these people say the same thing since it’s demons working in them to do Satan’s will.
Spiritual battle !
God reigns ! Jesus defeated Satan at the cross and the grave! Hallelujah!
Blessings!
Eventually, after decades of serial behavior, the caurosel attracts no riders. Narcissistic decompensation has begun.
Powerful words
True! Eventually everyone they could use as a flying monkey has also gone no contact and the narc. Is truly old and all alone.
Yep
Unfortunately make believe acts on social media give them fuel
They steel frm famous on the internet & getting their validation
Happens sooo much
❤
Wow! Love this comment. This is exactly what happens.
Then psychosis
My mother is a narcissist. I'm 61 and found out when I was 55 what a narcissist was. Up until then I thought it was my fault. Her mother hated her and it was because my grandfather didn't want her. My mother was a product of a one night stand and my grandfather married my grandmother under duress (at gun point and my great grandfather was the one holdingthe rifle). He joined the army to escape. My great grandmother took care of my mother until she died at age 53 when my mother was 10. From age 10 on my grandmother raised my mother. She hated her because she looked just like her dad who didn't want her. She showed no love toward my mother. I don't think my grandmother knew what love was even though my great grandmother was a loving person and mother of 8. But I think bitterness got the best of her and she lashed out on my mother. My mother doesn't know what love is. She is cruel, she has no empathy and can't have a normal relationship. She can't apologize and is always the victim. She treated my father like crap. I witnessed this when I was a kid. She initiated the divorce. My father remarried. She talked about my father to my sister and I which was wrong. After the divorce she shifted her need for supply to me. So from the age of 18 through 55 I experienced a non empathetic, victim oriented, gaslit mother daughter relationship where there was always a 3 month on 9 months off relationship. She talks about me to anybody that will listen and they can't see through her mask. Alot of ppl can't understand why I can't have a relationship with her because they had a normal relationship with their mother. It's hard for them to understand but it has to be like this because I need my sanity. I am a mother of 3 men now. We have a great and close loving NORMAL relationship because I refuse to carry the curse. I do struggle with rejection issues because of my upbringing but I'm surviving and thankfully am around my kids and grandkids. I function everyday. She's 83 almost and I regret not being in contact with her but it's out of necessity. Watching these videos gives me strength because sometimes it seems you're the only one in the world with this issue. When it went on but there are possibly millions of others who know what this is like. Thank you for your video and others like it because it helps.🙂
You have almost told my life story, I am 62. I’m sending you a big hug for being a good mom as I am after all the trauma I endured.
Same Here...Just Glad I Learned A Bit Earlier In Life
@@ElisaForHealingSame Here...Just Glad I Learned A Bit Earlier In Life
Same here! I'm 53 and started questioning my narc mothers behavior one day about 10 yrs ago, and all the pieces started to make sense as to why she treated her only daughter as though she never liked me. I ended up marrying a male version of her, but worse. And now I understand why I stayed so long in that horrible marriage. I was groomed to be a ppl pleaser, and to accept the manipulation control and indifference as normal. Because my kids also witnessed and were affected by my ex husband's abuse, I educate them and did talk to them about their fathers behavior in the home and what to look for I'm toxic relationships so they don't become a victim again. Their dad lied profusely and they need to know what kind of person he really is. I wish I had known sooner who my mother was, it would have saved me a lot of unnecessary pain and disappointment. I think knowing what abuse looks like, acknowledging it, speaking your truth, and setting healthy boundaries is all a part of healing and growing as a victim....
@@1stBorn538 I did not find out my mother was a narcissist until after she died two years ago. I knew she had a bizarre behavior pattern when I was a child but my parents divorced so I was forced to lean on her for support. She was very verbally abusive, and my father was physically abusive so we were very happy when they divorced and we did not have to endure the beatings. I married a narcissist very early in my life it was nonviolent so I thought I had found something that was never a part of my life and it took me until I was 60 years old before I realized that he was a covert, a neglectful covert. No verbal or physical abuse, but was determined not to give me an ounce of help in anything that I tried. I am free from all of them now, my father is in nursing care and is in the last stages of his life. I do take care of him because I believe that my most high would want me to do that. I feel I have healed quite well from all of this abuse, and God gave me a good brain to be able to financially support myself so that I never have to endure this abuse from anyone else again. Best of luck to you all.
They upgrade their behavior after each relationship, looking for the perfect facade, it becomes more and more evil.
I loathe this person... no contact for over a year.
Loving life again. 😊
Evil is totally right.The mask eventually falls off .Always listen to the tone of their voice.
Tone of voice?
No Contact is absolutely necessary for healing the Soul, no doubt in my mind. No revenge, live well, live happy, focus forward, and don't look back!!
Yes!! It is the ONLY way👍🏼🤗
Remi's chin on the pillow is cracking me up, though
Yeah cuteness overload
Yessss, so cute and lovely!
Beautiful pet faces resting on pillows are the best thing ❤
Beautiful Remi. ❤️
This channel is great on so many levels
Heehee…me toooo…we sure do love Remi
I wasn't able to go silent. I was hurt, crying, going to social media, etc. I sent several emails until the Narc replied to one of my emails by saying "LEAVE ME THE FK!! ALONE". That helped me to see what kind of person this Narc is. I don't feel hurt anymore because of this person, I'm just numb. I know that this person has no ability to have a successful relationship with anyone.
After our 1 year anniversary he switched on me, blew up in a rage, insulted and disrespected me, then blanked me- to get out of the silent treatment I said ‘If I dont hear from you, lets call it a day’- then he pops up and says ‘unfortunately this isn’t going to work’- called him and when I asked if he had found someone else he said ‘MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS’- then I knew 😢 Day 2 of no contact- truly gutted
🫂
@@zubieMplease don’t be gutted it is his loss you will be happier without him
@@zubieMSorry Zubie❤❤ Sounds like you just wanted closure.
Pray to get his demonic spirit off you, watch more videos and don’t be sad bc trust me they’re not. I’m sorry you experienced it but it’ll be better for your “self”
I went silent for a week with my 14 year Narcissist and he died this Easter 2024…Now I’m grieving and seeing 100% clear what he was , what we were and the pain of it all. I knew him as a child in 6th grade .. He was abused at 10, coped with drugs & alcohol in HS.. somewhere I’m thinking in 10th grade he began changing after he OD w/LSD, then he became a Christian at 21. Was sober and kind but Incrementally became prideful, arrogant and used the scriptures not out of love but to be legalistic. I was love bombed when we reconnected at 37.. I was so happy as he was the sweetest guy..I remembered him how he was and always tried to get him to reappear.. I was so confused. Since he died It’s been like coming out of mind control. I’m so hurt but he was deaf & blind to the truth of himself..I feel he listened to the demons he let in & they destroyed him. I can’t believe I put so much hope and work in us for nothing. 😢I trust God with all of this. He’s healing my heart. The Holy Spirit has been giving me peace🙏🏻❤️ Prayers for all in this type of hell.
No such thing as an LSD overdose... I would know 😅
The drama and smear campaigns really become too much. It never stops!
All we want is a peaceful life!
No contact is the only way.
It is soo easy to go silent on this demon, love quickly turned to hate after his horrible wicked treatment to me
I also found it quite easy. It was awkward at first though.
Not worth a thought, these demons. They don't deserve any form of recognition of their existence
🎉
Do not hate them. You should love them far away and ask for God in prayers to give them true repentance.
@@brunoferreira553 believe me I am praying
Sent a polite goodbye note. Wishing them all the best for the future. Absolute no-contact since.
I love how the dog is living a peaceful life in the background, just like anyone who leaves the narcissist. You will instantly feel relaxed free and totally content ❤☺️
So true
Once I figured out the Narcissist Silent treatment, Isolation and Smear GAME I ADOPTED THE SAME. I went silent, no response to smear. I isolated & Blocked from everyone that
isolated from me which was family members. After 7months they stared the smearing through family that weren't involved in the drama. But the slander became VICIOUS AND MEAN to get a reaction. I'm still quiet. The Narcissist is unwavering and becoming CRAZY. IM WINNING BY COMPLETELY IGNORING THEM AND THEY ARE GOING CRAZY
I was in a legal battle with a narcissistic sibling, so I couldn't go 100% no contact. What I did was to go no contact myself but hired a solicitor. My sibling went mental, as he couldn't argue with me directly anymore. Unfortunately, I had to spend a lot of money for the solicitor, but it was worth it. My mental health really improved not having to deal with that sibling.
Siblings can be awful. Especially when Estate Business has to be attended to. It was the last straw for me. I was responsible for the work. Once everybody got what was coming to them as laid out in the Will, I hit the road and never looked back. What really annoys you is how these people act like Saints in public, but behind closed doors it's the complete opposite.
*Forty-six years of being chipped away as a primary scapegoat.* I didn't walk away to "win against the narcissist", I simply left it up to the narcissist -- our mother -- to call, visit, write, etc., which she had never singularly done since the day I first left home at 18; and she never did, but she sought supply as my victim of abandonment. She refused to be an adult.
Before I walked away, she reliably marginalized, maligned, dismissed, smeared, ignored, denied, envied, slandered, gaslighted, projected, and physically abused me, apparently from the day I was born. Her screams, "I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!" was her authentic, honest sentiment.
After I walked away, other family members expressed concern about her antics, like screaming "HE HATES ME! HE HATES ME! HE HATES ME!" As you said, after I walked away she started chipping away at whoever was available. Eventually everyone at least briefly walked away from her, even her golden children.
I never wanted to walk away, but her scapegoating became very public and embarrassing. For the sake of my mental health and the well-being of my own family, I had no choice.
Don't let them blame you that is part of their scapegoat way , they know what their doing, using and taking advantage of a empath person , when they show you who they really are believe it, the older they get the worse it is in the narc behavior world,
Forgive and try to move forward and pray for them that is all you can do , God takes care of the rest
I didn't pre-want or pre-choose to 'leave.' I just woke up one fine day and realized that I had a whole 'day off' from them ... and that gradually became hours, days, weeks, months and years so far! (It was awkward at first though).
Sounds like we have the same mother. Thank you for sharing this.
@@Yellow-oc4slPerfect comment. Every single word you said. Being an empath too I truly relate. I recently told myself that also- when they show you who they really are- believe it. So very very true!!
Even during the relationship silent, slow relaxing days were boring days to the narc. 😮💨
You mean you weren’t working out at the crack of dawn, getting 18 holes of golf in and jet skiing voluntarily before 6am?! 😂
Im at a point where his drama bores me. It's uninteresring negative and nothing ever gets resolved. Thank you❤
When I saw him at the store, it felt like I was looking at a stranger.
Wow, I've only seen them a few times around town for a millisecond but, ya, it was like seeing a 'ghost!'
Yes
I live in a small town and often see this old friend but I either leave the store as this person came in after me. They parked right next to my car too. I looked up once and saw them and then called my hubby and told him I’m on the phone for a reason and I’m trying to leave the store. Apparently another video about me with more lies was made after that. Just leave me alone
A Jackal Preying on their next victim.
You were.
What’s heartbreaking is seeing someone you thought was the one turn into a cold, disrespectful a hole. Raging, defensive and upset at anything you say triggers them. No accountability, no empathy.
After your kindness is mistaken for weakness, they drop you like you were worth nothing. That’s what hurts the most. They feed on you trying to work things out with them and expect you to be the one to stay in contact.
I made the mistake of being that for a narc. No contact at all, even though days I’m tempted to contact him and wish he would be the person I first met and be better, but the reality is, he won’t. The person he portrayed to be was never who he really is. Narcs can’t keep that persona, especially when you call them out on their bullsh*t.
You r right! Sounds like we dated the same man..😮
Unfortunately, there’s a pandemic of them out right now, but thankfully some good men left.
It seems like as the years past, they not only are the same type of character...but they get more and more spookier.
They enjoy giving the silent treatment and yet they can't deal with it when you return the silence. Double standards.
(I think they think they can read the subtext of a post or comment really well and yet they have not apprehended it correctly most often.)
I learned something here. Message received.
Thanks Paula.
👍🌹
a wall of pleasantness, and ultimately silence, its the only way it works to protect yourself.
nailed it.
You got it! Pleasantly silent!
I’m 33 and I’m completely alone because everyone in my life turned out to be toxic so I decided to go completely independent and let go of everyone I knew. I might be lonely but I have god and I’m in complete control over my life besides work but I can always find a new job if it doesn’t work out but as my living situation goes I’m in complete peace and it’s great. I feel like there’s nothing stopping me now to become the best version of myself. I can save and grow and plan my life just the way I like it. No person in this world is worth taking that away from me, I know now. Not that fake loving narcissist that only takes and takes and on top of that destroys, ohh no this life is waaayyy better.
👍👍👍
Going through something similar myself. I know how hard it is. I am wishing you only the best❤
going through the same thing. let go of 10 people in the last 3 years. have had a pattern for the last 17 years of attracting narcissists and ignoring all the signs. I co created the situations but after this last person discarding me I am more empowered than ever and am feeling just fine. taking control of my own life now
Narcs peck for attention like woodpeckers. Took me a long time to recognise the attention seeking ‘ever-pecking’ hoovers that mine deployed - he was noisy for attention - well, he tried. As an empath then I demand consistency - without that then silence is the majestic weapon I will use. It’s my absolute right. #noapologies #notever
I hate that when you do demand better now, you're the toxic one for refusing to deal with their crap and causing all this hurt and confusion because of the silence
Interesting to consider that narcissistic silent treatment is when a narcissist ignores and avoids interacting with you to punish, control, or communicate that they are unhappy with you.
It's a form of manipulation, and this toxic behavior can negatively impact the victim psychologically and emotionally.
Love listening to your break downs on narcissism. It's been a tremendous help.
The triangulation is something I really can't stand. It's demeaning to both partners and they both lose in the end while the narc ego pumps off the conflict they create between both parties.
Right
Triangulation makes you start disliking a person you’ve never met. It’s truly insane. Once you know what it is and why the narc does it, it’s actually pathetic. It’s like a little child who needs attention.
@@KarinStrong-k4jthat's all of their behaviour really though isn't it?
So evil😔
I'm in love with the dog! He can teach us all a thing or two about how to relax.
You want PEACE?
Get off social media, keep IT REAL!
Completely agree ! Best thing I ever did years ago !
How did you do it? Like all platforms?
@@derekhann2200 yes . No Facebook , Instagram , twittter etc . Ditched them all . Freedom from a load of rubbish I don’t need to know . I don’t even use WhatsApp as I had a tendency to keep checking if the narc was ‘online ‘. Friends are happy to use signal to contact me .
Agreed, I'm only on TH-cam, nothing else
Facebook making money 💴 f the negativity get off the sites fools
Only God can heal us !! Thank You Jesus for a better life with You.
So true. Amen.
a narcissist sees others as territory
a psychopath sees others as food
@user-be3tb7zm4y how do you see psychopaths?
@user-be3tb7zm4y The mind of the psychopath is the mind of the criminal
@user-be3tb7zm4y The psychopath has no need to dominate the object; just disable and consume it
@user-be3tb7zm4y the beast: might makes right
the human: by agreement
Perfect word discription...."Territory."
I had the experience you talked about when after a period of time when I had to have contact before my divorce, it was like he was a completely different person than the person that I knew in my marriage, so bizarre. Also, keeping silent, and not allowing them in in any way, really is empowering, I’ve been able to maintain zero contact for almost 5 years now it’s incredibly liberating! Thank you for the validation and encouragement, Paula!
So well put! Thank you! Me, too!
After 45 yrs if dealing with a mother in law, who is definitely a malignant narcissist, who had discarded me after my husband died, no Contact has been absolutely necessary! No obligation to someone who has treated me so badly over the yrs. Her over action, insults, Saratoga, criticisms and jealousy and envy. Enough is enough! Left quietly and moved away. Absolutely No Contact! FREEDOM!!
Thank you Paula this video was perfect for me. I can remember the first silent treatment, it was after the six month mark. It was only for a couple of days however at that point we had been chatting every single day and I just got back from seeing him on a trip and I was still feeling great from being with him. So it was shocking for me, I was feeling panicked and reached out asking if everything was ok even, or if I did something wrong. Terrible. And I allowed that to pass and then it happened more and more each time I said something he didn't like. Stood up for myself and that I was hurt. I let all of that go. And they become a week to two weeks. Honestly it was the worst abuse I ever felt, and confusion from the reasons he would tell me why he was ignoring me. So fast forward I am 84 days no contact. He said he needed a break from me over a text, I was very empathetic and said that all we needed was understanding and extra care and communication. And I was very loving in my last message and he never responded. We all have choices and that was his choice and I just need to stay strong. Thank you
Please stay strong. He gains pleasure from knowing you are squirming in pain. And it only gets worse. I find dating channels that recommend women date a roster of men (not sleep with, just date) very helpful and empowering, so we don’t get too hung up on one man who doesn’t care about us at all. But even single is better than with a narc. Life is too difficult on its own to invite that kind of trauma into our lives.
@@VeganLife-mn1jp
Thank you, I am definitely not at the point to want to date, but I appreciate the advice. I was single 12 years before him bc of a traumatic past. I was at the best point in my life spiritually and emotionally, mentally when he came into my life. I was ready for a friend and a healthy loving relationship. It was so perfect at first, and I did encounter some red flags but I just overlooked them bc they weren't that bad and I was only getting to know him. But I put my whole heart in because I don't know any other way. So now crazy thing is since he is gone 2 different men want to date me, and I just am not interested.
I have felt broken up into bits and more hurt than I could imagine. I'm just working on myself and my goals and my hobbies
Please also change your phone number, or at the least, block. Getting therapy / counseling to help with the trauma and any unhealed childhood wounds. These individuals can smell guilt, shame, fear, trauma, bitterness, unforgiveness, hurt which all create voids manifest as appetites in our souls. Those voids / appetites are like unconscious vacuums which draw us to and attract the wrong people. When brought to the conscious mind from our unconscious mind, we become aware of why we are doing what we’re doing. Humans have 12 basic needs. Get as much information on that as possible. The Narcissist needs a “hook” to ensnare, entrap, enslave people. Typically those “hooks” are guilt, fear, and/or shame. All of which lurk in the unconscious mind until exposed through therapy / counseling.
I love these in depth podcasts, Paula. As usual you are incredibly insightful, articulate and provide many lightbulb moments. It's also lovely to see the cosy fire, Remy and his pillow, and your lovely self and beautiful necklace. Going silent is difficult, especially for an empathetic person, who would normally never dream of ignoring or blocking a person they once loved. But for us it's about self preservation, not punishment. We take a leaf out of the Narcissist's playbook and do something good and positive for our wellbeing.
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It dawned on me that I wasn't the first or last person to 'ignore' them. That helped me a lot to fathom that I'm not the only 'freak' who had to do it!
@@millville - definitely won't be the first and unfortunately won't be the last. Had it from the horse's mouth that this happened to the Narcissist and it really p*sses them off!
So beautifully expressed. ❤Thank you, dear Paula and sweet Remi! Thank you, all of the people who are adding, sharing their insightful thoughts and wisdom! I’m learning to ❤love and to forgive, and to rebuild my damaged life in the amazing grace of God! Forgiving everyone whom I’ve trusted and then they knowingly or unknowingly hurt me, traumatized me! It is beautiful to embrace my life! In my elder years, I’m more able to forgive, yet the very toxic people must be released to God’s mercy. I no longer carry them, I no longer invite them in! I let go and I compassionately let God! ❤My health is too precious! I am an empathic woman who became a codependent slave! All this work is so worth it!! Thank you so much! You are teaching me and my mind and spirit will triumph in God’s purpose for me! It is never too late to learn and to thrive!! God bless everyone here and Paula, Remi, Love ❤You!!
As someone said to me: Don't roll around in the mud with a pig - you'll get dirty. Moreover, the pig loves it.
Finally, I am starting to understand that a narcissistic person is a life force that has no real identity of it's own. Although, this concept is still difficult for me to comprehend. But, I do, totally, understand that it is a real phenomenon, since I have lived in amongst it for most of my life, having been born into, and raised in, an extremely narcissistic family. But, I still find it hard to understand how a life force can have no real self=identity. These entities must go through life as if they are like zombies, or robots. It's very scary, and creepy, once you realize what you have actually been dealing with, for most of your life. It, literally, is like living in a horror movie, but you are supposed to pretend that it is normal reality. But, nothing about it is normal, or real.
They make up an identity..like one I know ..calls himself a Doctor and an Accountant..he is neither...very short and massive rotund body..looks like a dodgy Mr Bean Character...is a Walter Mitty...and does do accounts for some people with small business..thing is..one day his Fraudulent Ways will come out.. and the true big bills will be sought by the Tax Man. by then though he will be dead..he is senior age .
No contact stops you being abused. It is amazing!!!
1 strike/discard and out! BLOCK
People in body jars lined up on a narc shelf in a dusty old archaic museum where everyone is dead.
The Narcissists and their territory.
Healing warning! I made a Marmalade Jar to put little toxic things in and gave it a cute 'Fly Ointment' label! I like having it as a reminder that I have 'protection.' I dust it off once in a while but have never opened it!
Spot on!!!!!!!!
@d0v3Tai1 ... yup, sort of like that, but without wishing them misfortune!
Staying silent feels like a weak muscle that I'm overworking. I accepted if I take him back again is disespecting myself. Staying strong. Still in shock.❤Much love❤
Stay strong
Excellent analogy 🥰
Yes!! Good for you! It will get easier and you will find that you are stronger and wiser! We can become so enmeshed in these trauma bonds, these familiar cycles, that we are ADDICTED TO THESE PEOPLE AND FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM!! ❤Don’t give up! Keep putting one foot in front of the other! I believe in a loving God and that He will never leave us nor forsake us! ❤You are a unique and eternal spirit within a physical body! You are precious and beautiful in His sight! Blessings! ❤
It might help to mentally play out his potential dialogue about you to others, or just to himself, if you do break silence: "Oh, so&so cannot let go of me." Or whatever your experience tells you he would say. That is, if I feel an impulse to reach out, I play it out in my mind, then it's easy to avoid cracking.
It's very telling that they use the silent treatment - because that's the ultimate punishment for them. Brilliant! Makes perfect sense.
One of my favorite quotes:
The only thing worse than wasting 10 years with a narcissist is wasting 10 years and a day
Sadly I lost my home. I could write a book and tbh may well do, if it helps one person not to go down the path I did, it will be worth it 😒
Same here..I’ll,love to write a book,but I’d say my narc worse then yours ..I got blamed for bad weather lor water from the hot tap too hot or not hot enough..the fking nasty cretin was impossible to deal with ,and I helped him so much I might as well have not bothered ,only one person is of importance in their life . And it them.
Yes. Can relate. The longest hardest lesson I learned so far in my life. Took 10 years to learn it. Ten years wasted but I still win in the end because once I broke away, I never went back. I'm myself again and life is good❤
@@Sally237-s4wmalignant?
i feel lighter after watching this ❤🙏
🥰
I think you are amazing. You are a true inspiration.
🙏🌹
Great video again. It's always nice to see Remy so comfortable.
🙏🐕
It's true. Also, stonewalling them helps. I said to one narcissist - "I'm not accepting the communication you are giving me" it drove her nuts. 😂
I’m 54, so I’m probably late to the party, but this has been my year of cleansing from the narcs in my life. I haven’t dropped them, I’ve just dropped the need or want to engage with them in any tangible way. The result has been text book. I can see now… so clearly. I’m grateful for the seeing and the freedom. I feel empowered by the very act of standing still, and not allowing any of their crap to affect my inner peace. I no longer fear interactions with them or any future narcs. They can all suck it. I’m done. ❤
After 13 years and at 60 yrs young ( but exhausted) dealing with a Nightmare, i learned by accident of NARCSSISM, SIRENS, BELLS, WHISTLES went OFF!!!!! i got out 3 months later May 2020. I thank TH-cam NARCSSISSM Support Channels for getting me thru my healing. My Ex ( 66 y/o) still tries to cause havoc in my life and I keep pushing forward... STAY STRONG WARRIORS. 💯💪🤟❤
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Paula..I appreciate what you do. I love Remi too, he is the best example of living a great life!
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Omg!
He JUST reached out.
That rock is back in my stomach and my heart is racing!
Its physical repulsion!
Stay safe.
Stay strong my friend. Be honest with yourself and realize and admit he will never change. It's hard to give up on them but don't gaslight yourself.
Pray and stay strong, burn sage, set a bear trap, holy water mote etc…they are dangerous and a devils foot soldier
Interesting, I saw the narc at my local shopping shopping centre. I've been no contact with for 9 months, I didn’t get the blank stare, I got hello how are you? Through pursed lips I could see the contempt on its mouth expression. When I stared ahead blankly, the narc then said, not talking, huh? I kept walking, no reaction. There is way more here too much to put in this comment. Good analogy with the map, I would love to hear a video on how to cut spiritual ties with this narc please.
Well done. I think she mentioned it in this video regarding 'spiritual ties' ( depends what you mean by this) simply the narc is an NPC - a non player character. Do not even acknowledge them and they dissolve - they only exist because of your attention given to them. They do not have a self like you do. They're only here, like a computer programme, to test you in this spiritual game. Tests include setting boundaries, not putting up with toxic behaviour, and not giving your energy away - being absent in the face of provocations. It's a spiritual game.
I saw my ex narcissist a while back in traffic. He pulled up next to me. He has one arm ( motorcycle accident). All I could see from my peripheral vision was that one arm was going up and down. I didn't turn to look, so I was not sure if he was waving or trying to get my attention. The light changed, and I turned left. Never looked his way. 😊
@@MrsOctober-kc5deSame here... was on my way to work one morning and he had turned onto the road I was on and was now in front of me on his motorcycle. I knew this was intentional. When he got to the stop sign he went straight and I turned right. Did not look his way. Victory 😉
You articulated this so well! Thank you so much, I feel much more confident in pursuing my healing ♥️
To show how messed up and hateful they are, I cut all contact and moved far away. The narc got her Husband to call me, because she is blocked. He went on to say that they felt I needed help and they would pay for a shrink! Unreal.🙄
Omg it sounds like a classic case of the woman narc pretending to care for u in front of her husband. They always fane concern to hide who they really are.
That's projection. They both know there's something wrong with someone but it's not you.
Yep. Twisted upside-down. It's exasperating!
That is funny. I hope you're laughing, because you know who needs the help.
They are the ones that need help, NOT YOU.
When you were talking about how when we believe in the mask they project it made me realize why mine gets so angry when I tried to confront him with things he did to me. Because when I do I am disrupting his mask. And he immediately has to shut that down. That was the thing that bothered me so much with him was never getting any truth and honest communication from him. But you can’t get honest communication from someone that’s pretending to be somebody they’re not. I saw a post somewhere that said “when I lost my emotional attachment to you became so ordinary. It was my love that made you into this person that was so special and without that you aren’t that special”. It was a very big eye opener
For the narcissits your life is just some ressources somewhere for the emptiness which really could have been theirs...and nothing more. Thank You!!:))!!👍💫🌷🌟
That dog looks so comfortable!!
Something similiar has happened because he is giving me the silent treatment and after that used someone to cause triggers of jealousy as part of showing her off for their work "project".
I think he wanted me to reach out, beg and have some sort of meltdown but I have kept my silence.
Keep it up sister, it works 🙏🏻
@KatRoberts-mi3wy Thankyou for your encouragement and good wishes.🙏
The showing off of a new woman is playbook heterosexual male narcissism. Years ago I let it provoke me. Now I see it coming.
@JKB-ji6xl It bothered me at first but I'm at the stage where I see it as an act of pure desperation from a narc.
U believe in them therefore they exist....powerful statement.
Love the Remi is so relaxed ❤. Spent a lifetime raising children and dogs and horses. Spent a number of years as a horse trainer. Another trainer, who bought several horses from me for her clients, told me that she thought all trainers put a mark on their horses. She said that my mark was that my horses were calm. ❤ ❤❤. That does not come from a fake and chaotic environment. Love that Remi clearly lives in a solid environment ❤👍
That sweet pup napping in the background is one very happy baby.🐾🥰
Stress was killing me, as it had my Father. Moved away from Mother and golden child brother. They are so angry no communication. My blood pressure has dropped 20 points! Constant stress and toxic influence will take years off your life. They don’t know how to love, only use and abuse.
Today is the last day for my meds.
Please take good care of yourself.🕊🌹
Hope you are well.
❤
I've been on meds for almost 40 years, started after our 5th child we had 6. Left for 3 years then went back after one of our children died but I know deep inside that was , is a mistake. Also being a Christian makes it even harder because guilt is then involved. All I can say is Jesus I trust in you.❤
lol good for you
After being gaslit, devalued, criticized, used for outward appearances, making their problems mine, joining the army to prove I was worthy and not the lazy bum she made me out to be,always being selfless in hopes they would see that they do mean something to someone and affect others I was finally discarded. All my belongs were put into trash bags lol all because I told her "no" and started calling her on her bs I was silent about for years..anyway exactly 1 year later I'm 30 years old and making 6 figures with no degree. She knew I was capable of making it where I am today. That's why she tried so hard to keep me on her level so I wouldn't leave her..and I wouldn't have had she been a regular human being. Now I make it a PERSONAL mission to make sure I'm always looking my best, I even go to our gym when I know she'll be there JUST TO IGNORE HER! And subliminally let her know I'm out of her reach and I've grown past her. I think ignoring is definitely good but when you can play the same underhanded mind games and ignore them at the same. It's amazing 😂 I forgive her for being a coward but I have no mercy for her or those like her and I'll spit fire all over her whenever I can without going out if my way to remind her" just because you're a failing coward , doesn't mean I am too..maybe youre just WEAK" ..always trample on snakes and scorpion and force them into the holes they crawl out of.
I'am so happy right now, no contact and i block the witch narcissist phone!!! My life changed for the best, i quit alcohol, i'am on seminal retention, i eat better, i do sport !!!!!! Game over for this evil creature !!!!!
ahhh, love Remy sleeping in the background looking so sweet and so cozy ... he's living the good life
thank you for this video
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I loved this video and subscribed immediately. My 88 year old dad just went off the rails after my mom died and during covid. I realized that I went from walking on eggshells my whole life, to having a target on my back after Mom died. Recently he didn't get his way, and sent me a nasty, hateful letter making it clear that his wants were more important than my needs, He disowned me and wrote me out of his will. In the first paragraph he told two lies, first, accusing me of spending all my money on hobbies when my Social Security doesn't even cover my rent; second, ranting about how I dropped out of school to "be a hippie", but actually I moved away from home to get away from my hippie friends and got caught up in a religious cult. I stopped reading there, put the letter in the back of my Bible, and haven't spoken to him since. I have to wonder what Mom silently endured after us kids left home.
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I love your precious Dog. It's a very calm and welcoming place you created here.
Yes!!! You are so correct!! I am experiencing this right now.
You need to break the cycle, break from them physically, emotionally and metaphysically.
Awww that doggie looks so peaceful
The way you explain this makes their behavior makes sense to me.. It is crazy to say but true.
Good episode! The description that there is no one there, no personality or identity, just some program is very accurate but hard to understand unless you encountered it. There is a concept in robotics called 'The uncanny valley' which refers to the reaction people will have towards a very human-like robot. People are ok with robots but when it becomes very human-like there will be a sense of unpleasantness and unease. It seems scary or creepy. This is a bit like with the narcissist when you discover that there is not a real person there, it was all a facade or mirage. The description of the smear campaign is important. As a man you must also expect false allegations and police reports about rape, abuse or similar. This is very common. And yes silence and no contact is the way to go. But you can't go full no contact if you have a child and must "co-parent" with them. Hybrid no-contact.
So good to see you and hear you.I'm really struggling right now and Your wisdom is always welcomed.Hope you're doing well God bless
Please don’t struggle, it’s hard. Leave if you haven’t already, you see clearly when you’re out of it. Stay strong and know you are not alone ❤
@anne-vl7qf Thank you so much for your Words of encouragement. I.
Left six months go and got a restraining order about a month ago I was in the relationship for 6yrs. I Unfortunately stayed Far too long and
He was physically and sexually abusive towards the end.
So I am healing it is taking Time but I am allowing myself to heal and i'm grateful to God that I was saved 🙏🏽 ✨️
@@A.D-e7n thank God for the peace, it’s truly the most difficult thing to get through, I totally understand that. I’ve been there and can still have bad days too remembering how badly treated I was. The Lord gave you courage and strength and you are truly blessed with true love now and forever. 🙏❤️💕
Thank you! You too!
At 21:26 you refer to spiritual energy and how they can tune in to the target's energy. You said you would save that for another video and I hope that you do - I will be very interested.
I am silent and have completely gone "No Contact". She discarded me like garbage and also betrayed me. I had faced the worst with my Narc spouse. She wasn't the only Narc but her entire family members, including her relatives were all narcissists. Everyone of them manipulated me. There was too much gaslighting which almost drove me crazy. God saved me at the right time. This podcast came at the right time. 🙏❤️