Timeline Comparison For The Dumper and the Person They Dumped
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- Coach Lee compares the experience of the dumper and the dumped (or dumpee) while the person who was dumped is using the No Contact Rule.
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VIDEOS Mentioned In This One:
Psychology of the No Contact Rule: • Psychology of No Conta...
Questions You Should Not Ask Your Ex: • Should I Ask My Ex Que...
Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact: • Stages Ex Goes Through...
Signs Your Ex Is Hurting: • Signs My Ex Is Hurting
When Your Ex Realizes The Breakup Was A Mistake: • When Your Ex Realizes ...
Get Info on Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach....
SUBSCRIBE to Coach Lee's channel at: th-cam.com/users/m...
After she wanted space, I gave it to her because I still wanting to work things out. It was hard and hurtful not hearing from her. Then a funny thing happened after a couple months of no contact, my feelings started to change After reflecting on a lot of things she was doing to me, being disrespectful, always blaming me for everything, etc. I didnt think she would reach out and honestly I was letting my feelings fade away. And didnt want her anymore. So after 5 months out the blue she sent me a Hi text. She said she wanted to talk, I left her on read. I didn't want to communicate with her at all. 2 days after that more text and then blowing up my phone. I will not reply , I think her other supply of attention messed up and thought she had me as a backup. When I'm out , I'm out.
😂😂😂Actually she deserve it, I wish I have ur courage.
It's really painful when you love smbdy n he lets you down that bad
👑
This happened to me I broke up with my exbf coz I felt like his playing mind games and my feelings coz he knows how much I loved and cared for him. A month ago from our last time we saw each other since we are LDR be told me that he isn’t interested in serious committed relationship, that he felt texting me is a big obligation to do and I’m a destruction to his work. I felt like the whole world crashed on me after hearing all this words. We’ve been dating for I almost 1 1/2 yr and he is just telling me this now when I’m fact 2 wks prior to hi coming to visit me he said he wanted a serious return now he said he changed his mind. I cried so hard I told him immediately I don’t want to be with him anymore if we are not on the same page that we can only be friends since that’s all he can offer now. Days passed he continued texting me as a friend coz he said he will be here for me to support me as a friend until I ok with the breakup. His been acting sweet again lately but never ask me to take him back but he was showing like a controlling jealous bf. On early NYD he texted me saying sweet words and asked I send him pictures of me from my vacay in Vegas. He actually asked me a couple of days ago but IG hired it coz I didn’t wanna send him pictures coz we aren’t together anymore and why would he be acting and demanding like his my bf. He got mad at me and we had an argument about the pics. He accused me of being liar coz I told him I didn’t take any pic and that I will ask my friend for copies. I told him “I learned from you that you don’t like to take pictures when I’m with you and to enjoy the moment instead” but he won’t believe me. He knows I like to take pics but this time I didn’t have any pic to share with him. I reminded him that we aren’t together anymore and asked him to give me a good reason why he should act like a a bf? He didn’t give me an answer. I told him “it’s my choice if I wanna share pic with you or not simple as that. We don’t have a relationship you told me you don’t wanna be with me until then we are just friends. You took my feelings for granted and hurt me over and over, goodbye.” Am I wrong for what I did?
Yes
Honey, they left you, you leave them back. Dont go after someone who dont value your emotions, honesty, and love. Give them the break as coach Lee always says. Take time off this toxic relationship and bad thoughts. You come first and you matter. You deserve someone who doesn't give up easily on you.
He was jerk to me throughout the no contact. I honestly did not have any peace. And in no contact, I was thinking do I deserve this kind of man in my life?! 🙅🏻 nope. I dont. Specially I have done nothing wrong.
@@axelbriggjern3534 yeah I got your point but I explained further about my situation. I dont deserve all this negativity from this man. He is showing his bad traits in crisis and this is not the good qualities I am looking for in a person
What about the hurt?
I needed to hear this, thank u😞
@@michellesalem82 how was he a jerk to you when you had no contact? How is that even possible?
I was a dumpee and dumper as well. All stages are very true. Speaking from my experience, being a dumpee is excruciatingly painful in comparison to being a dumper when you get a relief by breaking up, yet later on the dumpee heals and gains more confident to move on and never look back at someone who didn't appreciate them as soon as they realize their own value. When you're being a dumper, chances that down the road you really would start questioning if it was a right or wrong decision are high. Because you feel that you left the one who loved you so much and it's something precious in comparison to the dumpee who feels that their worth was devalued as a result of being abandoned so that there's no longer positive emotions holding them back. Tables are turning. Some may not reach out for many reasons (one of them is a fear of rejection), but trust me, they regret leaving you in some point of their life.
One question,how does the dumper feel when the dumpee is not hostile to them but don’t want them back?
@@2022l Rejected. You feel that you're not wanted any longer, that you aren't so important to them anymore to cling on you, they are independent now and has outgrown you. You're kind of stuck in the past because you want them back, and they don't need you anymore, they're fine moving on without you. And this imbalance hurts, you want to gain your importance to them again. If they're just being kind to you but close their door for good, you either leave with your head down and accept it respectfully, or if the feelings are awakened and strong, you try to win them back and make them fall in love with you again. But since now and then, it won't be as it was before. Even if they welcome you back, they will always be cautious about you, they won't let themselves to feel deeply and get attached to you, and later on the dumpee may become the one who will dump you. It happens this way more often than not.
@@iamauroraborealis I feel that this is how my ex feels he is being friendly while he was hostile to me when we first separated ,he broke my heart 5 years ago and now I feel nothing for him in fact I can’t even be his friend we have nothing in common.I can’t understand why I even married him in the first place.
@@2022l Sometimes you need to step back to see the whole picture. People change and transform over time, we all do, and one day you may look at the person you thought you'd love forever and realize it's not your dream anymore. I can relate. Love is blind.
@@iamauroraborealis it’s been a month and a half since my break up it seems as her rebound failed they deleted each other of they bios and she went public and been watching my insta stories everyday from her main account whereas as before during the first month she’d use her second account thoughts on that ? I’ve been just post my progress, is she regretting the break up? We dated for 6 years and since the break up I never texted called begged or pleaded just went ghost in some sense.
"Anger shows weakness". This man is a beautiful genius.
@@masaranaardo6784 get OFF here
Anger is weakness to what?
@@nickolasgegare2921 isn't it obvious? The situation
But why would they be all mad for no reason, when they got what they wanted?
@Alan Rush
But in my situation, she dumped me, she reached out to me for boxes, I delivered the boxes, and she was mad for no reason.
im in this position as the dumpee and i swear once you've reached a stage in where you have control after you once thought you had non , it feels fucking amazing
I agree
Yes, it is very empowering to take a situation that was meant to break you and better yourself. They thought they were better than you. Now they know you are the commodity. No contact is the best option for a senseless person that is cruel and disloyal to the person that only wanted to love them. Let them go be with less. 😊
7months no contact. To all those going through a break up, keep your heads up. These videos will help you get your ex back or move on. All I know you're gonna feel really good in the long run. It hurts like hell right now, but I promise you'll be fine
Did they come back?
What you said💪
Yeah true. That’s a long time to wait for someone. She basically breadcrumbed me and blocked me on social media and feel like it pushed them out of my life full on. I don’t think she’s coming back so I’m gonna move on
7 months? Eh, time to move on.... like 4 months before that.
@@truecrimejungle when someone posts a picture of herself in your Place what does that mean please assist
Your videos saved me from driving my car off a cliff. I cant even tell you how much this helped me. Thank you.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and promise you that taking your own life is NOT the answer at all. I’m glad I could help in some way.
That’s where I am right now. Literally thought to do the same thing. I’m so happy you didn’t.
Hope things are better for you now
I hope you are getting better as well
😂😂
"I'll always love you" they can save their breath and not waste my time
I was def blindsighted as he acted like he was happy with me and that he loved me and ask me to marry him then I find out he was cheating during all of this. I feel if love isnt a commitment Marriage wont b either
That's exactly what he told me
So true. It makes me puke!
Yeah he said the same to me “I’ll always care for you and be here when you need me ” lol
Update: We stayed in contact on and off and kept our conversations light and positive. After about two weeks he asked me to be his girlfriend again because he'd hate to lose me to anyone else because he knows in his heart I am the one. In my case, getting rid of the negative feelings in our relationship to remind each other of our good moments brought us back together.
The dumper unknowingly makes the dumpee powerful because now the dumpee makes the choice of accepting the dumper back and the terms of doing so.
the dumper feel peaceful and happier after she dumped him after all of the cheating....
@eulaliabarredo3159 yes in the case when the dumper was the one who was being neglected and mistreated. They push you away so it's a reverse discard and then the dumpee regrets it.
This guy is not about breaking people up but about reconnecting. First time in history of TH-cam therapy did I come across such a person. Who doesn't say ignore them when they reach out.
Uzaba strong Kelebogile
Brad brownings so good for this stuff x
I really believe he's in it for US.
Matthew Hussey is cool like that as well
Coach craig kenneth doesn't believe in ignoring your ex either.
Nobody keeps track of time better than a dumpee! Lol
Only in the begining. Then it reverses. Just keep in No Contact, no matter if it seems it's not working. It always does.
No doubt..
I’ve been in nc since the 28th jan my ex reached out on my birthday 13th of March and said happs I didn’t reply till the next day as I was busy drinking and having fun with friends and actually enjoying myself for once when I got round to it I just said thanks she didn’t reply I was just wondering does that reset the nc now does it start from the beginning so I was coming up to 2 months is it only days now or does it just continue I just wanted to know it really doesn’t matter how long it’s been I’m working on me and my life doing gym fitness and not even thinking of her I was just wondering if her reaching out messes with anything
@@kold151 It didn't mess anything up. Your ex is probably feeling angry that you ignored them and they're trying to reverse the psychology and get you to chase after them. Let them stay in their arrogance. It will eat them up and eventually frustrate them. Now is the time to continue like you're totally over them. It will frustrate them a lot more
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
28 days of NC! Sometimes I feel confident and some days I feel like I'm dying inside. It's really hard to forget or move on from the fact that you created so many memories with that person. I felt like I did try my best for my relationship. Even after the breakup I did reach out to her few times, I said sorry and everything I could, and I asked for a chance. She blocked me right after saying "good bye and take care." During my NC, I realized a lot of things, and I'm working on myself.
I’m suicidal over this sht bro. Glad you’re doing well.
@@loveurheart I feel you what you're saying and I have been there. All I'm gonna say to you is focus on yourself, exercise when you feel down, walk or run however you wanna do that, and go out with friends and family and reach out to them. Most importantly don't look at your ex's profiles/pics (if you can avoid that you will feel free, trust me I am doing that). And spend some time with yourself by reading or focus on school/work and learn new skills.
I have learned that you can channel that emotions to something that will make you happy and will help you in the long run. I hope you will feel better and best of luck with your life.
I got blocked too after trying to get her back.. its like they flicked a switch
Keep your head up papa.
I feel you. But it's okay. Trust me you'll feel better very soon. Focus on yourself, and know that you are awesome! Smile ☺ Hope you're okay now ❤️
I was dumped once and a dumper on my last 2 relations! It's far more dificult to get over when you dump someone. A lot of doubts will be living in your mind for months and months. You recover faster when you are dumped because it's easy to realize that it was her/his loss and you can go on with your live with a free conscience...
OMG it really work for me he came back to me 🌹🌹I'm so glad it worked out who need any help
..
+13047147651⏭⏭💕💕
Thank you
Absolutely agree. Being the dumper is a bitch. I bounced back a whole lot better and quicker as a dumpee.
@@Whoeverwhateverwhenever then what about this she feels guilty that she gave up and she regrets it and she thinks that I didn't love her or care for her and said she needs tine btw she has a lot of personal problems, so what should I do? I didn't bother her for 3 days now
If she comes back, I’ll throw $100 in your tip jar. That’s a promise
@@khianghmingthangakhiangte3346 My girl got convinced to get in another dude's car and leave me. I hit her up for like 3 weeks and now am blocked for over 3 months. If I hadn't contacted her I'm sure I would have had another shot if I had kept my cool but I couldn't help it and now I messed up things with the love of my life forever.
I second that commitment.
@@ArticruciA she ain't the lover of your life.
I felt like this about 2 people. Now I'm not with either one. Instead I'm with a women far better then those girls will ever be .
I'm now a father with the women I married. Taller than them and better than them.
Heck . She is a virgin . And now I have a son with her. He is beautiful. So from experience. You can always find better.
There isn't just one gold fishing the sea. There are more than you can imagine out there.
@@khianghmingthangakhiangte3346 how long did it take for her to come back?
@@ArticruciA if she got in another guy's car and left you, she's probably not the love of your life... you just feel that way right now.
Dumper: relief
Dumpee: shock n hurt
Dumper: concern
Dumpee: concern
Dumper: curiosity
Dumpee: confidence
Dumper: contact possibilities
Dumpee: be welcoming but low key
Wrong order
@@mobiletablet8437 that's what the video is for
@@kelebogilemotshoane5186 One could also say that's what the edit feature is for. I just dislike misinformation
@@kelebogilemotshoane5186 that's if the dumper even cares. Some are just glad it's over forever
@@mobiletablet8437 your problem really
Yesterday i was watching a random clip from “dr strange” and the ancient one said this:
“ you cannot **beat** a river into submission, you have to **surrender** to its current and use its power as your own”
I think it also applies to the no contact rule, you cannot force someone into a relationship, but you can use their own silence to your advantage...
Valuable reasoning. Thank you for sharing 💫
+ 1 (5 3 0) 9 4 8 8 1 2 0
How ??? Pls explain and pls let me know how u r today
Powerful
in reality you can't. All you can do is go on with your life. They are the ones who decide what they do with theirs.
Well, I guess this is what my ex of 6 years tried to do when she broke up with me. I eventually stop bothering her after what became a 2 year situationship and when she came back 2 months later I had another girlfriend that I eventually married and the ex is now bittered and still alone. Lesson: don't play games. We're not mind readers. No one wants a flaky individual.
I see you in pain, I was also in this situation some years ago 😓😓 I really thank this great man who help me get my ex back, you can also ask for help from him, his really the best
except you are still talking about your ex despite being married to someone else. how about you telling the ex you really love how you genuinely feel instead of settling and you being bitter...
In 2 months you had another one?
Seriously?? 😑
@@apple-qi3zk my ex got a new girl within 3 days
Right this all seems like a game you chase me I cave alittle no way ..move on ..love shouldn’t hurt 😔
Its been almost 10 months I been in No Contact - its still hard! Thanks Coach Lee for the encouragement and support! You're the best!
Did you get them back
As someone who has been the dumper before, this is 100% accurate. I was so arrogant and so sure that I could go back whenever I wanted, I tried reaching out six months later and to my surprise that ex had done work while away. They set boundaries to our conversation, they made sure to call me out on my part of things, and ultimately in the moment identified that I was not the person they wanted and to not contact them again. I was so shocked at the time that it took years before I could express how proud I was of them because I didn’t have any intention of changing how I acted and was coming back to see if they were open to working around me instead of with me.
@tmf.8553 Thank you for sharing your perspective, especially about how you didn’t have any intention of changing how you acted and were only coming back to see if your ex was open to working around you instead of with you. Your ex is a badass for putting in the work and being strong enough to leave you in the past. It’s selfless and thoughtful of you to share the kind of profound, honest, and super insightful self-reflection about a situation that many of us on the other end won’t ever hear but will likely experience.
Being rejected, left, and dumped like garbage is incredibly painful, especially when you put your all into loving someone. I definitely speak from experience. Listen to Coach Lee when he tells you to question if and why you really do want to get back with the ex that dumped you. Coach Ken has super helpful videos as well. Listen to their words on repeat if that’s what it takes to drown out the fear, anxiety, and heartache of losing someone you love.
It’s not a loss if you can have the courage to let go long enough to learn, grow, and embark on a healing journey as a result. “Long enough” will be different for everyone so don’t give up or get discouraged. Stay the course. This is an opportunity to put your all into loving the one person that will never leave you… yourself. Work on creating a life you love, or at least one that provides you with stability and serenity, whether or not you get back together with your ex. Everything is temporary and if you’re still alive, you have a 100% success rate of surviving difficult and painful experiences, no matter what the end result has been. Those are pretty great odds in your favor. You’ve got this. 🙌🏼💗
@@chloemae4869
Chloe Mae: Sounds like you have been around the block a few times with this relationship stuff. I am old and just getting my feet wet. Thanks for your words of wisdom. ❤
I have been this person too. And lived to regret it for a decade after, including after dealing with the nightmare of a relationship I left the person for.
You never forget this relationship. It makes you wiser and have a third eye. It is almost painful when you can see someone else doing the same to you after something like that has happened. pain felt for the other person because they are blind to the truth. It is a mirage to them and to yourself in that position. But once you’ve felt that regret; you never forget.
@@chloemae4869Well said. Are you a writer or psychotherapist?
My ex started treating me poorly during our relationship, she did a lot to me and I overreacted about the things she did. She blamed me for how I reacted instead of looking at what she was doing. I still was willing to work things out and she left, she wanted to be friends still and I told her that I am not willing to do that. I cut off contact and I am not looking back I did the best I could and it made me realize I needed to mature in the aspect of when things go downhill to talk respectfully instead of using my emotions. Breakups are a good thing sometimes because it makes you realize what you can work on for yourself
Yes
I had the exact same experience as you. Kudos to us and keep evolving!
Yo regardless if ur ex comes back everything’s gonna be ok. I actually got over my break up back in December. I went through the worst type of break up and actually got Straight left for someone else. It broke me and I don’t break easy it takes an astronomical amount to break me. I gave her everything, made so many sacrifices, and took care of her like a wet nurse. But even if y’all go through wut I went through it will I repeat WILL be ok. The best part bout it is that they WILL INEVITABLY look back and see just who they walked out on but by then it’ll be too late for them. Remember this tho, u were ok before the break up and u WILL be ok after. I was my ex’s first boyfriend of four years.
I got left for someone too. Sadly tho, once a man walks away from a woman it’s usually over for good. They never really regret or feel the same about you again.
@@sullysully_ it’s her loss brother. Just keep pushing forward and be the best u that u can be
@@AdrianMartinez-ho6db I’m a woman. My ex left me. lol But thank you.
Amen!! Hope your doing well bro
Honestly going thru something similar rn I resonate with this
Thank you lee, my ex has gone through two relationships after we ended, I’ve dated no one but feel so much better in myself and have definitely moved on.
@@obohoseghale8370 where is the spell caster from? So I add his number
@@obohoseghale8370 😂🤣😂🤣 I call right now!!!😅
I hope to be this way, I feel like she’s using other friends for emotional support maybe not romantic but I feel she wants to distance herself from me because she knows she loves me too much to show vulnerability
What's great is that I think no contact, when not done as a power play, game, is clarifying whether you want your ex back or not. Sure, it gives THEM (let's assume they dumped you) time to be curious, confused, etc, but it also gives YOU time to consider...do I want them back? Under what conditions? Is it for my highest good not to be with them after all, despite the initial pain of being "rejected?"
This is the question I've benn made to contemplate..
Thinking back to an experience many many years ago where I was the dumper and my ex the dumpee, can confirm that the stages of the dumper's experience as outlined in this video are all true... Although back then I was not self aware enough to grasp these psychological concepts that were happening within me. My dumpee handled it like a damn ninja with a high degree of self control, exactly as Coach Lee is prescribing in this video, and I went through the experience of the tables turning and it was an excruciatingly painful experience at the time. I've long since healed from it after he moved on and chose someone better for him, and now I am able to look back on the experience as a priceless learning opportunity!
I wish everyone the best at toppling their "dictator" by instigating silent coup!
Thanks so much for sharing the female dumper's experience. My ex-gf dumped me for a second time. First time, I made all the mistakes of begging, sending flowers, and calling/texting every few days. This time(second), I pulled the ninja and simply said "I am disappointed but respect your decision" then walked and been full NC for 7 weeks now. I seen some abnormalities in her behaviors via IG but nothing concrete yet. But wish me luck!
As the dumper, I had to go no contact. He had a lot of problems: addiction, very poor mental health he wouldn’t address, I supported him while receiving crumbs in return. I couldn’t stay with someone who was so broken that he was dragging me down. I felt horrible for dumping him but the relationship was absolutely destroying me. Toxic relationships are more common than you think
Y'all weren't married so save yourself and run . You're not obligated to someone that your just dating
I might be on the other side of this coin. She loved me and i could barely make it through with my own problems but i needed her when i needed someone to talk to. She was my bestfriend more than a girlfriend. If im settling with someone, its gonna be her only. She actually invested a lot of her energy in me and for her to leave is a huge L on my side because i was finally starting to figure it out. Is there anything he couldve done to have you back?
@@sugabubba69 I don’t think there is anything he can do to get me back NOW. He’d made many promises to change and seek out help but 4 years later, still wouldn’t follow through with anything except going on antidepressants which didn’t do much to help his addictions….hell, it didn’t even improve his mood. My best advice is to seek out therapy instead of confiding in your partner all the time. From my experience, it’s extremely draining on the other side and one person cannot be the therapist for the other all the time. My entire life centered around his trauma and he was an avoidant (played video games all day and barely uttered a word to me weeks at a time).
I told my ex that after several years of therapy, it’s a possibility of us reconnecting, but he is so near-impossibly broken that I don’t know if he will ever manage to get out of his funk.
If one person is investing more energy than the other person, that relationship is not sustainable. Eventually, that person you depend on will break apart. Again, my best advice is to seek therapy and don’t put that burden on your partner.
Addicts are awful. I dealt with one and I think the addiction and other traumas he experienced actually turned him to become a serious narcissist. They learn tactics to keep people around and to make them feel like you are below them. If you can overcome this type of person you can overcome anything.
I had a toxic also I walked away and never looked back I’m now with a good woman and I’m happier than ever
I like how your video is not just saying "Move on!" It explains how it all works and dignifies the dumpee. Thank you.💕🙏💕
Yes. Isn't he lovely ... he's too gentle for the tough love.
My girlfriend said I'm not exciting anymore.. But she changed after starting her business.. and I lost my job.. doing things together became less.
The hardest part is thinking about them being 'intimate' with someone else.. as a man that's extremely harsh especially when you've given so much
Dude yes !
I’ve been binge watching all week, thank you Coach Lee for helping me get through a tough week✨
I've done that too!
@@johnfriday7145 what is your story
I am binge watching now. It’s so helpful!
Forget my ex, drop the skin care routine coach Lee 😂😂😂😂
Ikr … lol
👀😁
👏🏾😂
Oh my gosh you people are killing me with the comments on here today! There's nothing more I'd rather be doing on a Saturday morning though in my robe laughing with my coffee. Thank you and I love you all
He uses a filter, I've seen it off at the start of jump clips and you can see his pores (still good skin) but deffo using a filter.
Coach Lee, This is one of your Best videos ever, because it gives the Person dumped lots of self esteem, and good news.
When a girl talks to you like she works in HR she's definitely over you
Lmao
Totally love it - "like she works in HR" , thats brillant
lol this is gold
😂
Honestly without you Coach Lee, had I not found your channel I think I would still be reaching out to him, texting him, and I had nooo idea that doing that would push him away. It’s been almost five weeks no contact now. At first I was watching these videos multiple times a day to stay strong in no contact. Then as time went by I didn’t have the urge to message him at all, it was routine not to. It’s helped me so much, I’ve really used this time to focus on myself, my relationships with friends and family, working out, reading, saying yes to new opportunities and filling my days with things that make me feel good. And I feel better about myself. The first week after it ended I was a mess, and felt so weak and sad. Now I feel strong and happy. We are meeting this weekend! Wish me luck 😊
What happened sweetheart?
@@Lina_5_ we had an amazing reunion. Sparks were flying. He said that letting me go, would be the biggest regret in his life and he wants to try again if I will have him. I’m over the moon. 🙌
@@tanyavictoria2716 perfect! Wish you luck!
How long were you in no contact? Can I ask why you broke up?
@@melodiehamilton8289 about 5 weeks, we lived together, I moved out. I think overall the reason why we split was because we moved in together really quickly and it killed the spark in our relationship. We moved in after not even 2 months of dating (this was in March last year, he asked me to move in as it was during covid and my only other option would have been to go to my home country as I had lost my job) so there were a lot of factors, being in isolation together we spent a lot of time together, then we became really comfortable. We still live separately and it’s honestly been great for us. Spending more time doing our own thing, with our own friends etc. it’s been amazing to date eachother again and the spark is back better than when we even first dated ❤️
70 days no contact today and feeling stronger each day. Thanks for the videos!!! I listen to them before heading to bed. lol. If she doesnt come back I will be OK :)
74 days !
Feeling stronger but stil burst into tears 😭 sometimes
@@JorDel_1111 Same here, but life goes on with or without us. Stay 💪!
@@JorDel_1111 74 days no contact. Did your person contact you?
Update
39 days. Feeling a bit down today
'Remember anger shows weakness', this is the phrase that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Lee you're smart, intelligent and speak the realities of life after breakup, you're very good. I enjoy listening to you all day on relationship. God bless you. Keep the good work I've already subscribed.
i was a dumper before, all stages are very true,,, 6-7 months later i missed our 3 months only relationship so much, and i missed him like crazy was hoping him to message me so one night i asked him to meet up, and cried begged him to come back.. and he didnt and told me if i came back ealier he would consider.. but at that moment he had already moved on....... Recently. i am now a dumpee..... i been really hurting from the breakup, i hope he will realize and come back to me as well
It has been about 4-5 months for me and I can fully heartily say I am happier. I used to watch your videos numerous times throughout the day to help me in the beginning and understanding ways to try to get my ex back. Now I just watch them to help clear my head whenever the thought of her gets too much for me. I've noticed I'm more confident and outgoing and not to mention more motivated than ever by going to the gym and getting my work done. Thank you Coach Lee for everything you've done not just for me but for everyone else.
She dumped me 3 years back and go no contact then now she said, I was testing you lol...How sweet excuse she made up Just to make me Chase again.
Don’t no one have time for games‼️ stay strong
Be glad you got away--she sounds like she's a bit of a narcissist with that kind of statement.
At best, she's immature--at worst, she's a game-playing succubus...
Be happy and free!😊
Tell her f off and move on lmao
Its called hoovering. She'll just throw you away again if you give her a chance!
Testing for 3 years? Is roundhouse kicking someone illegal? Hahaha
NOTIF SQUAD!
Edit: I’ve been single 3 months. NC for 2 months and I feel absolutely amazing. I keep checking in for these videos for comfort these days, as opposed to necessity.
Hello there Anthony, you outbeat me here 🤣
Same bro I don’t even want her back at this point she wasn’t good for. I truly believe you have to reflect and see if that person is good for you
Literally the same
@@JannNavarro09 I’ll get you the other place too 😈
Tex† him on What'sapp
To be honest 2020 was the most eventful year of my life. I was dumped 2 times by my ex and on December I lost my mom and grandmother aswell. So at the moment I don't even know what I am feeling...I don't evem know about what I should be sad about but happiness and motivation are are like a far away dream 😢
hey ，sorry for the lost ， HUGS
stay strong bro, you got this
Be strong hold on to God. For He heals the broken hearted.... time heals and also listen to coach Lee
Stay Strong man, 2020 was hard for me too. I lost family and my girlfriend broke up with me. Hardest things in my life to deal with but I promise you, life gets better.
Sending you love and positive energy 💕 stay strong you will get stronger 💪
I made the mistake of trying to push to resolve things when my ex broke up with me. After about 2 weeks I accepted it went no contact and it was the best thing I ever did. It broke that attachment, I started detaching, the feelings became less strong. It also gave me a lot of clarity that I wasn’t to blame for a lot of the issues in our relationship. I know she hated it when I took my attention away from her and she’s probably still hating it now. Everything you’ve said in this video is true.
Did she ever reach out again?
Just got broken up with after a 7 year relationship. 1 month later she’s out at clubs dancing and making out with lames. These woman change once they are “FREE” especially if they are influenced by single friends or family members. If you have a gut feeling about her not responding to you and etc… trust your gut feeling. Definitely ain’t worth my energy anymore. Moving on with my life. She will realize eventually she fucked up.
7 years with her and thinking she out there with lame men sounds like you are the problem
Any update?
I’ve been in NC for 5 weeks now and my ex hasn’t even to acknowledge my or the break up ! I don’t think he ever will because he doesn’t really care 🥲🥲🥲 so I’m not sure that they all come back ! There are ones that truly don’t care
coach lee‘s free uploads helped me a lot already. bought the kit to support him so that he can continue with his you tube uploads. the kit is great by the way :)
I’ve been breaking up a week ago. Thank you so much Coach Lee. Your videos helped me feeling a lot better.
Could you do a video on why my husband (after our separation) would choose a relationship in a different country when he could have on in his own country?)
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely know he is having random sex hook ups. But why is he posting he is in love with a new woman on social media sites a new woman in a different country?
@@cocochannel8932 he sounds like he’s not worth taking back. If he left the country and went as far away as possible, he’s obviously not wanting to be close, don’t follow him on social media for a start.
@@vanessawan1025 how is it going
@@dorrisparker6130 How are things now? Are you still with that ex?
This helps deal with the pain I sometimes feel. I have to remember what I offered and gave. Im learning my worth again after 2 months NC. In the end, I don't have to live with the regret because the decision was made for me. I cant imagine being the one to end something good and realize it was a mistake. Its way easier to move on as the dumpee
That’s a great point. I wish I could feel the same way.
@@drunkenhearted7256 you will. It sucks, and trust me still sucks for me. Some days I’m depressed some days I’m happy, it’s part of healing. Dumpers run from their emotions and that’s why it hits later then us dumpees
I am also 2 months in NC, and you are right, they regret it and I rather being the dumpee, he breadcrumbes me from time to time but I won't fix what he broke, not my job.
34 days of NC still dealing w some pain
So true. I'd rather be a dumpee, than a dumper with regrets😊
4days on no contact, i wish he comes back.
Edit: he reached out after 31days of no contact
nothingwhats628 I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you immensely. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation including yours.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
And what happened????
Personal story: my ex and I dated for 8-9 months and he never reached out during no contact of almost 2 years. I lost feelings for him after doing no contact for six months and life was good. No all exes reach out. After 2 years, I moved to a new city, felt lonely and messaged him. He was very receptive and even decided to meet me on a business trip but said he lost all romantic feelings for me and only wanted “fun time” with me. Of course I turned it down. After that I realised the person I’ve been missing was all fantasy. The real person was kinda sh*t. Use no contact to heal. Not all losses are real losses.
“Not all losses are real losses” 🔥
Wow after all that and he was only wanting to use you for his sexual gratification. You’re smart for not going down that road. But two years, feelings are lost and people move on by then. It’s rare if that doesn’t happen.
after searching for a week in order to move on and watching lot of videos ,your video comes out of the blue and man this is mind blowing , you describe literally what is happening and helped me to gain a self confidence for me again even though idk if she'll get back to me again or not but now iam feeling better and gained so much control for myself . thanks again
She ended it with me and I felt like I lost because it was the best relationship I’ve ever had. I now realize it was the best relationship I’ve ever had and it probably was the best one for her too. She dumped me and has to live with that fact.
Doc Hudson, why did she leave?
@@jannlewandowski5540 she told me that the distance was too hard (2 1/2 hours) and that she’s in her last semester of school trying to figure out what to do next. And that she has some emotional issues that’s she going to therapy for.
My husband dumped me for his online relationship and I am sure he felt great when he left because he thought that he was moving on to some sort of shangri-la. Affair did not translate well to real life and mistress did not want him.
Excellent lol
@@broncobill861 Instant karma, but funnier still he married some Zimbabwean woman with 4 kids that weren't his and seemed to prefer to pay for her 4 kids than his own child. Again, karma happened and his marriage to her collapsed as well.
Happened to me too. He's going to live with his online affair in the USA, so he's planning to marry her. My 19 years with him down the drain for a bunny boiling gold digger, God I hope he gets what's coming.
Pretty hard year this year. Lost my dad in the beginning of the year, a month later I lost my best friend. And because I didn't know how to process those feelings I took my anger out on my girlfriend and lost her as well. 1.5 months no contact. It's driving me crazy. Trying to stay strong.
Damn sorry
I’m in a similar place I’m sorry to hear though it’s tough. My manager I was really close with killed himself, then my best friend since 7th grade died of an overdose, I relapsed and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me, got arrested in a different state and now I’ve been withdrawling for over a month, never been this miserable but I’m holding on to things getting better, did they get better for you?
@@Robin-gt4zt Going trough drug withdraw AND heartbrake are the worst combo.
@@Robin-gt4zt and @Jason Perez, from a stranger on the internet I hope both of y’all are doing well
Can we get an update?
If you are currently the person that is happy, satisfied and look forward to seeing them again, you need to be aware that they are likely less interested and its unbalanced. I have noticed this even with friends so its probably a good idea to practice pro actively letting them go.
As I listened further on I had the sense that to maintain equilibrium one must always believe that what one brings to the table has considerable value and if the other person is failing to see that then these unbalances begin. If that is the case start moving on. Its sad people function from ego instead of love.
I have a person back in my life (none romantic) that is being exceptionally forthright and giving all of a sudden after a four year disconnect. They have been buying me things I would never have asked for. Its all a very interesting journey into reverse psychology and how people function. I wonder now if I began to accept and trust them as I once did how quick it would be for me to become an option once more.
"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til its gone."
Joni Mitchell
This is genius no contact works 4 days and My ex showed up At my doorstep With a hole new attitude still working on our relationship but it's a miracle as far as I'm concerned Thanks
My fearful avoidant ex received zero pleading, begging, etc from me. She told me she loved me often, and was very affectionate. In 10 months, she reached out once. In other cases, I’ve begged and got them back quickly. I’m honestly not sold on all this NC stuff. Each situation is unique and this advice is one size fits all.
Thank you for sharing this video. My guy went silent on me after dating for over a year. We never argued we always got along great so it left me totally confused but I refused to reach out to him. I hope he finds his happiness
Sometimes we need to forgive ourself for our past mistakes and even forgive our ex in order to heal from this brkup
Yeah ... Forgive n forget n start a new beginning 😊
A narcissist cheater can never be forgiven.
Constrick forgiveness is for you not for them. Believe me they r not happy people and wont b unless they realize how they are and want to change. Nobody can be that cruel and be truly happy but they r good at faking it. There whole like is fake(Narcs)
@@-Constrick- Narcissists r Biggg bas***ds 🤬🤬😤😤
Their EGO kill the Emphatic one
Ex used to laugh when I cried 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
@@JorDel_1111 Mine laughed at my tears as well.
❄🥶 blooded
This hit me on a different level and it hurts to even think about it.
Text him on wha'txpp.
+ 2 3 4 8 0 7 3 3 1 7 4 6 0
Ty for having this. i also believe that when you cant stop thinking of someone constantly it is them thinking about you. 30 years later. i just like to watch these videos, my life has waayyy moved on and his tooo. it is said, god doesnt give u more than you can handle, i care to differ.
Over a year ago, I used to watch Coach Lee’s videos on the daily over a bad break-up with someone I knew from work. Covid19 and work-from-home arrangement saved me in a way. Fast forward 1 year later, I’m in a much much much happier place. Met someone so damn amazing during the pandemic (who knows right??) and I have no regrets!
I didn’t go into no contact directly after the breakup. I begged and pleaded for about 1.5 months up to a point I felt like I needed a break from all the pleadings, crying & sadness. It’s never too late to do no contact!
Things will and do get better with time. Love comes when you learn to love yourself first! Trust me. :)
@jaifoe7198 To be honest, I did not know if he has ever contacted me after that. I stopped wondering, and I didn’t care. About 6 months after we stopped talking, I changed my phone number and blocked him everywhere on contact platform at work (email, ping chats etc.). It may sound silly, but I needed to do whatever I can to help shift my focus from that guy to myself. Now I think about it, I really don’t care about him anymore. I bumped into him SO MANY times at office, but I felt different now looking at him. I placed my self-worth and self-value higher and I know with that mindset, I will never ever end up with someone like him (manipulative & insincere) and. I married the amazing guy I met during Covid which I shared in my initial post.. he is the best that has happened to me and again, I have no regrets. I am so much more happier, calm, and secure.
I had been turning your videos and listening them when she broke up 2 years ago. I changed. Really changed. She got back 2 months later. But as you say, they may get away again. She is in depression because her Grandmother passed away 9 months ago. She grieves. And war. We are from Ukrain, Kryvyi Rih. She was raised in a family of a gangster and 'princess', who neglected the first child. I wanted to ease her life, but failed. No contact works and I know it. Coach Lee is a guru in this industry! Thank you! I wish it worked for the second time for everyone and we all are healed from insults and traumas.
If we don't mess up, we have chance! And for those scammers who like write their phone numbers. Don't! I won't call you! Only what coach Lee tells.
It's shitty hell. We brokup 2weeks ago.. after begging and chasing I finally meet coach lee. Life saver I feel much better sleeping while listening to him.. it's now my 2days of NC and start to realize I'm on too much pain while my x move-on already within 48hrs..
My ex left me,,,I was heartbroken,,, during the no contact he could post photos of different girls on social media but I didn't care,,,he went to the extent of hanging out with my friends and even tried to date my best friend,,,I never reacted to anything he did because I knew he was trying to get my attention,,,,, after 2 months he came to apologize but the feelings had already faded for him,,,on my birthday he posted my photo on his social media page but ibhad already moved on,,,,he regrets but am not going backwards,,,,,,
One thing on getting answers: I recently did just that after the relationship ended 5 years ago after receiving little to no closure. It took that long to be able to get honest communication from my ex. He feels remorseful that much I know but we’ve definitely moved on. It was still healing to be able to understand and get those answers and finally heard him say it wasn’t all on me and that he made his mistakes too.
We need a video about( don't try, just let go/ signs that you should move on)
last two weeks I was watching this to get my ex back, I was bitter, I had called him asking if he is sure that doesn't want this relationship, he said he is not ready and he is not sure that we are gonna end up together in the long run that he is confused right NOW. I remember me waking up in the middle of the night asking God to pleeeasseeee let him just call me and say hey it was a joke or it's a prank cause I did not believe it. I was so hurt I would chock while eating cause the food won't just go down., at that point, I understood why some people chose to end it all. I even called him saying ooh I miss you he said AWWW THANK YOU😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣. I knew it was time but today am here not wanting them back I feel peace like never before, there are periods of sadness here and there but for the most part am okay, I can eat better, I can talk to other people, and am feeling so good. so to whoever is hurting, it gets better trust me, it does,, and thank you coach lee for these videos.
After listening to Coach Lee, I’m starting to feel a lot better about myself and the situation. I will admit it was hard at first because the breakup caught me off guard. I feel like my ex has been communicating with an ex who cheated on her. I know for a fact they’ve had conversations, but she says it was nothing (right).
My husband left me 5 months ago. I’ve gone through so many emotions from desperation to moving on. I’ve had so much guilt about what I have done wrong but you need to go through those stages and sit in that icky emotions to move through them. I can say this month I’m honestly feeling free and looking at it as a relief. I still feel anger but I have made an oath to be respectful as I can around him. This attitude has helped me realize this is truly his loss, not mine. I wish him peace.
Hi Marlee, I am experiencing the exact same emotions. It’s really hard but I’m so proud of you! You seem so positive and actually wish the person who has hurt you the most, well. Hang in there. How are you doing these days?
You’re a good person
It’s his loss
I hear you when you say peace, anger, relief and oath in one comment. Right behind you! x
Hey Coach Lee Im Leo Rapaport im 16 years old, ive been watching your videos the last few days and they have really been helping me alot. About 5 weeks ago is when my first ever relationship ended and are relationship was around 4 to 5 weeks long. She told me before we ended it that we can still be freinds but needed some space from eachother, I guess there was some relief for myself in ways but after no contact it made me very clueless and thats when the sorrow came into place and boy I had some dark days of sadness and missing her and moments of anger and resentment because in my mind I was the only one suffering and she is perfectly happy and moved on. I went 3 and a half weeks with out sending a single word to her but I only texted her once about something casual but nothing to do with relationships just one text and ok nice then the cliff hanger, after that no other texts at all for the past 2 weeks. I feel like now im starting to hit the end of the tunnel but l still have moments of uncertiny on what going on in her head and if she even likes me as a person or never wants to see me again, and because we both live in the same area I have fears about the akwardness of seeing her somewhere in person and having to confront her, anyway thats my story I feel like ive learned alot from this experience and can manage my sorrows alot better now and be prepapred to be in another relationship whether its with her or someone else.
Young man these coping techniques will help you in the long run. You will be a good person to talk to when your friends have problems. Congrats
Thank you for these videos, they do help alleviate the pain and bring hope back. Looking forward to the anxiety series as well! An idea for another video: how to behave when your boyfriend asks to be left alone? Of course you want to give him space and work on yourself in the meantime, but should you reach out after a while? Should you do radio silence and always wait for him to reach out? Should you be the one breaking up once some weeks have passed? In some ways it's even more difficult than a breakup, as you're in this limbo and don't know what rules to apply, if you should check in, talk about it after some time, be distant or close when he reaches out, deal with hot and cold behavior... you know basically the things you talk about, but applied to a slightly different situation, the dreaded break.
My ex left me. I just remember when she said while we was together "i dont want to break up and regret it later"
I really hope she will regret end of the day. While im moving forward!
Taylor, it's possible she rebounded or found an old boyfriend. She'll be sorry, and she probably will be back.
myexbackcoach.com/emk.
You will need to read this kit.
Me and my ex have broken up countless times but 2 months ago was the first time we did with zero contact. Blocked each other. I unblocked a month later to send an apology, a few days after I called a couple times but I remain blocked and it’s clear, this time it’s really over. It’s still really, really hard to accept some days. I’m curious how she’s staying so strong, unlike all our other breakups. The hardest part is she was my best friend, my only friend, and god dammit I feel alone. I’ve never felt so alone. Buttttt I’ll get through it, I have to, and she will too. Good luck everyone ❤
I’m just going to give up on my ex. It’s been since July 2020. I’m strong on no contact but I miss him so much. He contacted my daughter for her birthday this pass January and asked her to have me give him a call. I have not called bc I don’t think he really wanted me to call him and I feel if he really wanted to talk with me he would’ve called my cell. I’m just over it. Never falling in love ever again. That’s on Mary had a lil lamb‼️‼️‼️‼️. I wish you all the very best. Coach Lee I truly appreciate you and all of your advise.
Well if you're at that point of giving up anyways and it's really been that long, it can't hurt to reach out and just see what happens
@@QuinnLIFTS .
@NS if he is stubborn then know that is not a lot of time with a stubborn ex... they have to feel through their own armor and lay down their weapons. And then they can feel that you are no longer there. 2020 , pandemic and life as we never experienced it before is a huge game changer of time. Keep moving forward and in the end he will either be there or you will see and be with someone brand new whether it’s him or someone else. Best of luck to you. It’s over 140+ days for me and I feel your pain
@@QuinnLIFTS I’m so scared of rejection. I really appreciate your advice. God Bless💪🏾🙏🏽
@@pamelad757 Hi Pam someone else mentioned give it time bc it is a Pandemic. Not to mention he actually caught the virus but Pam I too can be stubborn yet I don’t let my ego or pride get in my way of love. I just feel if it was truly meant we would’ve at least talked. I’m not waiting but this shyt hurts. 5 years down the drain‼️ No contact is what coach sleep advised and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Idc house bad of pain I be in. Over 140 days for you?! The things we go through for our love. I’ll be praying for you, your healing, your strength and whatever GOD has in store fir you and your ex💪🏾🙏🏽❤️
I was the dumper and everything rings so true. I reached back out to my ex after 6 years and now I'm the dumpee.
I'm just curious why you would reach out after 6 years? It's been three years (I'm the dumpee) and I would end up spiraling if my ex contacted me.
@@missl9348 I was 30 and she was 38 when we broke up, we dated for 3 years off and on, breaking up frequently. We were in love whenever we didn't fight but we were both insecure and in different stages in our lives at the time. She was more established financially, had kids, divorced and I was a kid still figuring out my career & what I wanted so I broke up with her to focus on myself. I also wanted to try and find a relationship that was a better fit and didn't want to string her along.
6 years later, I'm financially stable with a great career but still missing a life partner. So one day I let myself explore what it might look like if I reached out or if we got back together. I kinda felt like I'm where she was back then now but obviously she's moved on with her life too.
And you should too. You can allow yourself to be open to the idea of getting back with your ex if they reach out and you both happen to be single but you shouldn't wait for something that may never come either. You should put yourself out there because you could meet someone who is a better fit for you still.
@@snowballandpals Wow, thank you for such a detailed answer. My story is slightly different than yours My ex was 31(M) at the time, I was 37(F). We were only involved romantically for 5 and a half months, but he had chased me for years before that.
We were friends (or so I thought we were). He left me to be with his ex that he hasn't seen or talked to in nearly 10 years. He said that he had never fallen out of love with her and that one day she would be his wife.
After that I was sent spiraling into a deep depression which I'm still not out of. I am not waiting on my ex. Rather, I just do not trust men now. I hate saying that because I know there are good men out there. My ex told me he loved me and that he wanted a future with me. All lies.
Hi Lee, I don't know how I missed this one. I learned so much from you that I don't know where to begin. I ended up dating the "wrong guy" for 5 years. I listened to mostly all your videos, and 2 of them really hit me where I couldn't believe it. You told my story. I left him after 5 years of being USED. The worst thing you can do to someone is deliberately hurt someone who loved you deeply. After I left him, I went into Therapy and learned so much. I'm now dating a real nice guy, and he's healthy in mind, thank God. YOU ARE THE BEST!
2 weeks of no contact with kids in the picture and we speak almost everyday, children related only, she has a rebound that moved in 3 days after i moved out, now she has been trying to make small talk about how the kids are growing up so fast and saying we dont have babies no more, she brought me the kids this morning with a plate of food she cooked last night. I know this relationship is not good for me but I can’t help but miss her when she does stuff like this. I wont break NC though. Stay strong.
What a strong speach, coach Lee is a professional. Got a tip, bought the kit a week ago. I would recommend it to everyone. Very well summarized information! I don't really need it, I think, to the point that I gave up and figured that whatever is happening forr a reason. But , I bought it to support coach Lee, and still consider it super helpful and informative! Thank you again ☺️
Over 6 months of no contact and still nothing yet. But I'll keep working on me
Sometimes your ex will attempt to wait you out! Stay strong!!! ❤️💪🏼
@@ladybootalkstruth9583 thank you💕❤
You've got this!!!! Stay strong!!!
@@trevorharding3783 thanks! I love this community so much
I hope you hear back from them .🙏 I know its rough....Sending good vibes to you and your dream🙌
Being in two months of NC I feel good he tried coming back I told him Big No I know my worth I thought I can’t do it but I pushed myself. I cried but I said no begging , no calling and am good now thanks couch Lee 🙏
I just wanted to say thank you coach Lee. My bf broke up with me after 3 years of being together and I am trying to move on and your videos help me a lot. I guess my first love was a tough one. I needed to hear these things thank you
He is emphatic,knowledgeable,kind and very intuitive,
You are amazing coach Lee
Talk about when ex loses emotional attraction cause of depression pls
I think i have a same problem, 1month into NC i went to her with friend because she was acting super toxic And that Is opposite od her normal self, 9 days after that She unfriended me not saing oř writing anything. She is saing She Is great that She was never soo good, but i can see her depressions worsen. But you must go on, of ex say they dont need oř want help just stay away
I second this. He left me after 7 years of being together because he doesn't know who he is as a person. He been together since we were 18, kids. We spent almost every single day together and moved in when we were 20. He feels like he's lost as a person and he's so depressed and sad and there were things that we went through that just didn't get fixed on both of our ends. I'm hopeful, but I can't expect it nor is it a definite. I love him so much and he loves me but if I love him the way that I do, I need to respect him and give him the space. He's just so broken and depressed and down in the dumps that I don't even think he knows what he's supposed to be doing. I just don't know if I can throw 7 years away like that... The last two weeks have been the longest 2 weeks I've ever endured. One second at a time I guess.
I’ve been waiting for a new video. This topic was just what I wanted! Thank you Coach Lee!
I was a week in no contact and I broke the rule today and she rejected me I got desperate and just wanted to see her and after that happened I felt so bad I should have just stayed in no contact 😢
It’s hard bro it’s hard
this guy is a genius. LISTEN to his advice, and you WILL see results... even if it takes longer than you want/expect...nothing worth getting comes easy... his steps are PROVEN. Its not a genie in a bottle exactly, but solid relationship counseling is probably the best thing you can hope for when your forever person isn't treating you with the respect you deserve.
also, never chase. YOU are the prize.
This is the most knowledgeable coach I've ever heard in my lifetime. He speaks right to you, he speaks right through you. it's like he's living your experience.
It's been almost two weeks since she broke up with me. We met two and half years ago... It was love at first sight. We had a long distance relationship for a few months as I was living overseas. Then, we agreed I would move in. After a few months, she started having doubts and later admitted she got back in touch with her ex. She told me she wasn't sure she wanted to continue the relationship, and that she felt she needed space and time to figure things out. But I persisted (I was head-over-heels in love with her), and so we continued for a couple of months until she broke up with me. That was almost one year after we had met. As a result, I was becoming more and more anxious. I was shell-shocked. She told me her feelings for me were not a strong as my feelings for her. So, instead of going NC, I tried keeping in touch. At first, she wouldn't respond to my texts but, then after a few weeks she started responding. Slowly at first, but over the next 3 months we started seeing more and more of each other mostly as friends. I was very understanding of her situation of being the avoidant attachment type + hyper-sensitivity. (Btw, she was still in touch with her ex the whole time.)
Anyway, we eventually got back together and everything seemed great! But, over the next year or so until basically a couple of weeks ago, the pattern of her being avoidant + needing space (her ex was always in the picture) would result in "mini" break-ups during the course of the year.
I know she still loves me, but once again her love is not as strong as mine is for her. So, here I am again left to wonder... I am trying not to contact her, but without much success. I do know, however, I need to let go and move on... Yet, I still hope...
Quick update: She reached out to me a few weeks ago repeatedly apologizing for her behavior and feeling ashamed of herself. As of today, we have rekindled our love for each other! She is currently working on healing her past wounds.
Excellent material to mentally go through again a couple of times!
Thank you sooo much coach Lee!
Lads Coach Lee is not joking about No Contact my ex left me 3 months ago and reached out 2 days ago asking if I would meet her that’s she really wants to meet I haven’t made up my mind yet but this guy knows his stuff
Hey how did it go?
I cried and expressed my feelings after he reached out after 4 months of NC over dinner and that made him feel even more comfortable with going back into the relief stage. He was so curious to see how things are with me and now that he got that, it’s like he has the upper hand again.
What a disgusting man
Update
@@kungfukenny1540 he reached out about a month ago wanting to hook up and said or would it complicate things (he’s in a relationship by the way).. & I told him it would but we still texted for a week straight then he stopped responding. But Tuesday of last week he texted me randomly about 7 in the morning asking if I need him to move furniture into my new place.. I told him I might need his help in a few days. That’s the update for now.
@@audrey242424 what a bug you remind me of my ex nothing ever good to say lol
@@christianbatista7009 did you not read the last part of her comment? He goes to dinner with her to find out about her life and essentially gain back the upperhand before disappearing again. It's a game to men like this
A little over 4 months of no contact and the only time i begged was the very last time we met up to "finalize" the break up... i miss him deeply.
angelatam6274,
Don't contact him anymore, and most of all, don't ever beg or plead with a guy. It makes you look weak. I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you immensely myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Here is a discount code:
2A53FC
This will help you with all your questions. Good luck to you.
id love to pick your brain on things if u are willing. need a female perspective as i was the dumpee recently.
@@TheM0B11 what's up?
Been broken up since thanksgiving.
Started no contact at start of Janurary.
She contacted me at start of February, because she missed me and needed me because she was going through hard times.
We talked for 2 weeks, then she said she wasn’t ready to get back because she hasn’t fixed her emotions and feelings about us.
Started no contact again at start of March.
When you were going through tough times, was she there for you?
Similar. We can do this
@@axelbriggjern3534 exactly... She was going through tough times, and used the guy to get through those tough times... like you said, she should have lost those benefits when the relationship ended.
@@The_Darrell I would say yes she was there for me, during the relationship, and once during the break up maybe a week after she contacted me due to one of my family members being hospitalized for COVID and almost not making it. Then a few days after that is when she backed off.
Y’all are right, I need to just grow a pair. And I’m getting better each day and stronger, it’s just sucks lol. No contact is the best thing to do right now.
I feel you; I’m in same place as u are; she came and left after 2months of NC; after val’s day, she pull back. I had to give her the brake up. Now in 8th day of NC.
This is a good one to go back to. It shows that it affects both parties, not just the other. It also helps coming back to see where we were, where we are now, and where we will be later. It's just a matter of patience on the dumpee's end and all shall fall into place naturally.
Your videos makes me feel much better during this time of pain. been watching you everyday for a week.. this helps alot.🙏 Thank You so Much!!
Coach Lee , You are right on the money! I’m so glad I found you because I’ve been so confused and lost and did not know which way to turn. I have read and watched other sites but I did not get the knowledge that I received from you! I love him and I can follow your guidance. Thank you so very much because now I have some clarity of it all, and what I have been going through is exactly what you have described! Thank you again so very much!
I have been in both shoes. I recently broke up with a 56 year old narcissist a serial cheater, liar, i mean a cruel and deceitful individual. I pray God heal me i never deserved the treatment he gave me😪. It hurts but i know better days will be come…. Eventually 🙏🏾
bward3290, Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I was with a narcissist for 5 years, and nearly died. He made me so sick, that I ended up in the hospital. It took me TIME to get over him, but I did. Go out with your friends, watch Coach Lee's videos, and pick up a hobby. That's what I did. You will be fine. They are TOXIC, and never take them back.
Big hug for you..❤❤
@@jannlewandowski5540 Hi, I’m sorry you had to endure that 🥺. Many blessings to you on setting yourself free. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement 🙏🏾🌱
Usually when in no contact if a girl asks, how are you? I respond with: "Well when you have been all the way down South the only way is North and a day at a time I seem to be heading North." I like it because you remain mysterious and at the same time polite
Giving them the consequences of their actions. I like that... 😏
Need to apply no contact rule.
35 days of NC for me...I'm proud of myself because I realised that I'm strong enough to do it and I honestly find happiness in that revelation. Sometimes I'm feeling good, sometimes not that good, but not as bad as I felt at the beginning. Not looking into her IG account nor her photos and stories. I even stopped posting anything so I'm applying the "radio silence". Basically I dissapeared like a ghost in the wind.
My goal is to heal and be stronger than I was before, and that's a greater goal for me than to reach out to her.
Wonderful to hear. Every day in NC increases the odds they will reach out. Stay strong in NC.
Hey Vendran how are you doing now? Update on how things unfolded? I am going through this right now and just like you i don’t want to reach out. I just want to feel
Better and confident again.
@@melly3901 it's been a year and a couple of months, she never reached out, but time heals all wounds..trust me no contact preserved my dignity as a man, helped me focus on myself, working out, running and studying. We still follow eachother on instagram, but I switched off all of her posts and stories and I haven't been on her insta since then. Sometimes I think about the time we've spent together but I quickly get out of it. Take day by day brother. Never reach out to someone who discarded you like you were worthless! Take time for yourself and don't rush into other superficial relationships with other girls just for sex and feeling of acceptance.
Lot of people come here saying you should move on etc,If you could that easily you wouldn’t be here watching. Coach Lee 100%
Omg new video 😱😱 I so needed this right now. I miss him so much and was this close 👌🏽 to breaking NC!
Me too. There are times I want to contact him. I just rewatch videos so that I can't be tempted. And my pride so does work too.
Me too
Thank you, coach Lee.... You're advice is helping me deal with this breakup....