@Pelswad as a very shy introvert, I advice you to never force an introvert to do something that they're uncomfortable with. Never try to force him/her to be an extrovert.
I understand what your saying! It seems if your introverted/shy, people prejudge you without getting to know you. They act like something is wrong with you. You are who you are and you shouldn't have to change for anyone except yourself. I've gotten a little bit better over the years, but at times it still bothers me when people are always making comments about how quite you are even in the workplace. I do like people, but not in large groups and when I recharge, I like my alone time.
I was always the quiet kid and most of my teachers didn't like it. Once a teacher told me to speak and I did but no one heard me so she told me to repeat it louder. I did and she yelled: "She can talk!!" and made the whole class clap for me. I felt so bad that I wanted to cry..
This happened to me at school too, i answered a question the teacher asked, the whole class went 'ooooh!'. Teacher starts laughing and says 'be quiet or she'll never speak again!' I just wanted to cry. I'm 40 and it still makes me cry.
One of my teachers made me do a bible reading in church in front of about 100 people. I got so anxious I messed up the reading and cried on stage. I don't think teachers have a good understanding of personality types. Either that or they just don't care.
“oh, you’re so quiet” “why are you so quiet?” are the phrases that i’ve heard the most in my life i think. i still remember how in one class the teacher made a question and nobody could answer right, i knew the answer and i wanted to raise my hand but i just couldn’t. what i had in mind was indeed the right answer. and is dumb that i still remember this because it happened years ago. i still am very quiet, but i (wanna) try to be more confident (?) also, i always find myself rehearsing what i want to say, whether it be for something simple like a phone call or something more serious like a presentation
Ya me too "why are you so quite" "why don't you talk" " she doesn't even talk" and things like that. I too rehears things what I want to say. Is what I'm saying right? , Is the sentence formed right?
you know I am a victim of rehearsing what I say before I’ll say it ... I haven’t been in a classroom in months now so I mainly rehearse when I speak in front of family , it happens so fast and sometimes I’m not 100% aware I’m doing it and at times it gets WORSE like "I have a school presentation in front of the whole class " WORSE and sometimes (this is gonna sound so contradictory ) sometimes I don’t even practice what I’m gonna say because the practice part makes me anxious and I feel like that moment that I’m practicing is somehow displayed to everyone who will see me present ( even though it hasn’t happened yet) so I don’t practice and then I flunk the presentation ..... yes I did that once left a fat mark
I relate to this so much! Especially the part about rehearsing exactly what you're going to say and being a good listener/analytical. I was extremely shy and quiet growing up and everyone said I would grow out of it, but I haven't! I'm turning 25 in a few weeks and I'm more socially anxious than ever. I try to explain to people that even though actions like introducing yourself, making a phone call, or talking to a waitress seem easy or second-nature to them, they are incredibly difficult tasks for me. I think this is why I am so drawn to art (writing, illustration, filmmaking)-it's because I can use these mediums to communicate my ideas and feelings much more effectively than I am ever able to verbally.
phone calls are my worst enemy. i totally understand what you mean. i do still think people can grow out of it and change (they don't have to of course! especially if you learn to accept that that's just how you are). my mom was extremely shy, even more than me, and she told me she grew out of it when she was about 35. i couldn't believe it since to me she's always been the most friendly and outspoken person, but it is possible. that's why i think we as humans are always changing throughout our entire lives; our personalities might not be the same as they are now in 10 years time. and yes i can totally relate to being drawn to art 💜
This is me, like I saw a meme that said, “ to all the people I went to school with that called me shy or quiet. I’m not shy or quiet, I just didn’t fucking like anybody!” I felt that... It’s not like I just don’t like them not knowing them, I see the way they interact with other people and how their personality is and they were all just fake. But now being in quarantine, I feel safe in my room.😊
I am a 6'6 Black Male, and I have been like this since elementary School. I don't know why I am quiet I watch alot, I can scan a room and find weakness and strength within that group. I don't even talk loud or seek confrontation unless I have to be aggressive. I tend to be alone alot but not in my mind it's a party. I Love me.
My good i have a classmate that os a copy of you he is a tower but he is very quiet I AM quiet as whell very weird on social set Ups o My good só akward hahaha
I love to be an introvert, but I used to dislike it when I was a teenager. People made fun of me because I was quiet and not talking a lot. Now I don't care anymore, if I don't want to interact I just don't do it. As you I overcame most of my shyness but I'm still shy and that's part of me :) Thanks for the video✨
Gosh life is so hard when youre an introvert. My teacher asked me for the answer in class and its been a day but i still haven’t stopped thinking about how stupid i sounded. In my head I understand but when I speak my words are all over the place. Its makes me blush, hot and my heartbeat gets louder and louder. I hate myself! I hate how the easiest tasks are hard for me.
Aww. Thank you for explaining this. I came here to learn more about introversion and your explanation really opened my eyes. It sounds like a litte bit of fear followed up by judging yourself too harshly. The fact that you actually feel so awful about public speaking really helps me to empathize more.
You’re not alone, I’m the same way and it’s made me feel bad so many times over the years that I can’t even count them It’s okay to not understand where we’re coming from, but I think it’s important to begin to accept it 😊 there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, we’re just all different I’m right there with you though and still learning myself how to accept myself and the way that I am
People make me feel so uncomfortable for being an introvert, but once you find people who accept you and how you are, you realize it's normal and okay. You dont have to answer to anyone.
yeah, i rlly hate how im shy and quiet these days. whenever i get comfortable and talkative around people they’ll say, “i remember how you were so shy” it’s rlly annoying.
i always search for these kind of videos every time someone tells me “why are you so quiet” or pointing out that im quiet. i need to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with that and i am not alone 💛
There is nothing wrong with you or other introverts! It''s so sad to read all the comments here from people with the same experience of being judged for who they are. Being introvert is just a part of who we are. When extraverts tells us often: "You are always so quite" (with an undertone) it''s just a judgement, and they don't accept you for who you are. The message is in fact: You are not good (enough) the way you are. I've never heard myself saying into the faces of extraverts: "You are always so loud!" In my opinion it's disrespectful to say that. When we do that (often) i bet that they will feel judged and maybe will feel not good enough too. Being Introvert, Ambivert or Extraverts is totally fine! We must respect eachother! I am 33 years old now, and my whole life i was being judged for being an Introvert, till now. Some people just don't get it!! BUT there are alot of people who appreciate my silence, calmness, introspection....They say: "You are so calm and it calms me down", "You are so calm and you take the time to say what you want to say and that really does something to me." Being in your surrounding makes me calm and relaxed" "I want to be more quite like you" In ashrams/monasteries or people who loves self-reflection, contemplation and meditation, we introverts are greatly appreciated!! :D
You’re the only person I know who truly understands what it means to be quiet/introverted. I used to be much more shy in high school/ middle school, and beat myself up about it as well. However, as I got into college I realized that people didn’t care what I did anymore (because I know go to a much bigger school), so I had much more space to be who I am. I am still introverted/ quiet, but I’ve stopped beating myself so much about it. I still sometimes try to avoid small talk though like taking the stairs to avoid talking to anyone. Anyway thank you for this video!! 💜
oh wow. related to everything you said. I'm 23 now but as a teenager I was horribly shy and I hated it, I hated myself. I've noticed that in the past two years i've grown a lot. I'm still introverted and I just don't have a lot to say. But i'm growing towards self-acceptance... I'm just really happy to hear you tell your story. You seem like the best type of person and I'm happy to be in the introverted club with you and so many others :)
How are you coping now though? Ive just realised all the friends ive ever had, approached me first. Now that im in college i dont know how to make new friends and I'm tired of being the weird guy even though I'm perfectly normal.
I STILL get criticised for being too quiet. In my job I'm supposed to be *assertive* and *strong*. But it's such a misconception that being quiet, reserved or reticent means you're not those things. We're all different. So many of us are socially anxious. You're doing great and I'm glad you feel more brave and feel like you know yourself more. i'm getting there too 💛
Can I talk to u? I am working rn and my work demands me to be outgoing and talkative which I am not...from the very first day at work people realized that I am quite. And the worst part is they telling I am quite infront of a crowd..this is really eating me up...any suggestions would be appreciated
I felt every single thing that you said and totally get you. I hate myself for being a very shy introvert. People are always asking me " why are you shy?" "why can't you talk?" "Why can't you engage in this or that".... Words like that hurts me a lot. They wouldn't understand :(((( Stay strong girl. You're not alone
Ever since I was a teenager i used to be so introverted and i noticed this in highschool people would come to me and ask me why I'm so quite. The question hurt me like a thorn i started blaming myself for being an introvert. But by time you grow used to it . I love being me.
I have been quiet my entire life, and I am 61 years old now. I would not change the way I am for anything. I am not insecure or shy. I just observe a lot and do not say anything. I also have a very rich inner life, read a lot, and prefer to keep my thoughts to myself. There is nothing wrong with that.
At my last job we used to have staff meetings where we all bought our own lunch along to eat during the meeting I was a part-time receptionist and my responsibilities were to help customers with very straightforward, mundane issues. I knew nothing about finances, administration or the future plans for the organisation. So I had very little to say at the staff meetings and this was fair enough. However, I was criticised for not saying anything. On the rare occasions when I did have something to say, my comments were dismissed or ridiculed But, if, the very next week, someone else made the exact same comment, they were treated as if it was their own wonderful idea One day I had a really good idea about something but I knew that if I put forward that idea myself it would not be heard So I asked one of the other head people to put forward that suggestions as if it were her own idea Once the idea was accepted as something wonderful she told them that it was actually my idea They didn't know what to say! Also, it didn't matter what I took for lunch, it was either too healthy or not healthy enough or they had to make some smart comment about it
the worst part of being the quiet kid in the classroom is whenever we had visitors and for some stupid reason these person start asking open questions to the whole class, such as "who is the most this or that?" an when the question "who is the most outspoken?" comes up the asshole bully answers with the name of the quiet kid and all classroom laugh reinforcing insecurities on the quiet kid about being quiet.
I'm trying to understand my daughter. She is so quiet. I encourages her to take sports. Broke my heart to see her sit alone while the others talk talk talk. But I love her no matter what. I'm there for her. And I sit next to her knowing I'm always by your side.
This video really resonated with me. When I started college this year, I told myself that I would speak more and socialize more with people. I still find it a struggle to articulate my thoughts when in class, even though I daydream about being able to just raise my hand and speak what's on my mind. I go to a school with lots of confident people who aren't afraid to speak up, and while that may be a positive thing, it still leaves me feeling lonely because it feels like no one really understands what it's like to be this way. Funnily enough, I'm a communication arts major. Not only am I one of the quiet students in my interpersonal communication class, but I am also the person who takes the stairs to avoid having to be the silent one in an elevator full of my outgoing classmates. I want to be the person who can give a stranger a compliment, the student who can give her two cents to a class discussion, and the person who people won't be afraid to talk to. But thank goodness for the arts; painting, drawing, sculpting, and filmmaking really communicates my thoughts better than words can.
i feel you 💜 but don't worry and don't beat yourself up! like you said, immerse yourself in your art and through that you'll find the perfect way to communicate your feelings
I live this out. I am a teenager and very shy/introvert. Not that I'm afraid to speak nessisary I just don't have anything to say. I'd rather lock myself in a closet then have small talk. Thank you so much for making this video. It's good to know I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this.
I can totally relate. I’m can be socially awkward at times and by the end of the day I would be awake in the middle of the night thinking about all of the socially awkward moments in my life hahaha. I’m usually reserved and keep to myself so much that I often eat lunch at a later time just to avoid those awkward small talks in the pantry. Not to say that I hate the people I work with, they’re great people but I sometimes don’t want to have the anxiety of thinking about talking points during lunch. On the other hand, if I find myself in a conversation about something that I’m interested or passionate about, the awkwardness goes away.
omg same, the times i've just sat there and thought about my awkwardness lol. i wish i didn't though since it's just not worth it to spend time thinking about those things
hi everyone 💜 thank you so much for sharing all of your experiences! i'm currently trying to answer and reply back to everyone. I do want to recommend a movie if you guys haven't watched it, it's Eighth Grade by Bo Burnham. I identified with the main character SO MUCH. It's about a girl who is in middle school and she is known for being the quiet one. She is trying to find her own voice and even makes little youtube videos. If you haven't watched it I really recommend it!
I know exactly what ur talking bout I know that uncomfortableness that you feel in your chest when you feel akward during little small talk that goes awkward quiet it sucks I hate it
I've watched many videos on being an introvert and how they(we) feel but this one is the best, i could relate to every single word you've said! As a person who has mild form of depression and huge anxiety in combination with being an introvert and shy i can say that i have the worst combination of personality and mental conditions when it comes to having to talk to people and it is really hard and exhausting. I don't hate being an introvert but i wish i could handle those small talks when needed, so i don't have to go through "why are you so quiet" questions every single time. Because when i get asked that, i become even more quiet.
I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this so thank you. I’ve gotten these same questions all my life - still do and I’m 22. I never understood why it is acceptable to ask someone why they’re so quiet and yet not acceptable to ask someone why they’re so loud. I think the culture you live in has a lot to do with this topic.
Growing up as a self-reserved/social person, has people assumed your personality because your quiet? (I had this happen to me, people would think i'm a goody-two shoes, not being aware of inapproriate things, watching certain shows/movies, etc.) Another question: Are you extroverted at times and at times introverted?
I entirely know how you feel. I’m incredibly introverted. So much so that I prefer to keep to myself at almost all times. I failed most of my way through school mainly due to being unable to raise a hand and ask for help as I didn’t understand anything and felt I’d just be a bother to the class and slow everyone down because of it. It can honestly become a shackle to living life and depression went hand in hand with it for me. I lost many friendships and even went through a phase of not speaking a single word to my father for 2 years out of nowhere. I had no control over it and didn’t even know why I couldn’t speak. I saw how much it hurt him but he loved me anyway. We have since repaired that instance in my life but to this day I still have no clue over what happened or why I acted that way. Long story short: Thanks for sharing your story. Always enjoy watching your vids Monika. With a smile like yours, nobody would ever think you had any struggles but everyone does and I thank you for speaking out. You are an incredible light, plus you love anime ;) keep being a star ⭐️
@@kadblue2000 Hey man, I spent my entire adolescence fretting over my personality. I'm still a pretty quiet person but now as I approach my 30's I somehow feel more comfortable with myself. Some things I wish I knew back when I was in college: 1. Your feelings are valid. Don't try to suppress them. They don't make you weak. They're there for a reason: they're trying to tell you something. 2. Go to therapy. You don't need to have something wrong with you to do it, and there's nothing shameful about it. It's like going to the dentist, but for your brain. It may take some time, but they'll help you understand yourself, which is an immensely important step on the path toward self-acceptance. Please make sure to find a good therapist though, since there are so many bad ones out there. 3. I wouldn't follow advice on the internet. So many people out there without credentials will tell you 'how it is' without any evidence to back up their claims. There is no substitute for therapy. 4. Please be kind to yourself. I tried to cut myself off from my emotions as a means to cope with reality. I thought I didn't need therapy and that I was just being a pussy (pardon me for the language). Little did I know that I had a traumatic childhood and that I'm actually grappling with something much bigger than just timidity. If I knew then what I know now, I think I would've been more patient with myself. It makes total sense why I am the way I am. Finally, you deserve to be kind to yourself, and you deserve to be loved. It might be hard for you to believe if you're anything like me, but you are both lovable and likable. I wish you the very best.
I 'm also a shy introvert and I was really suffering from my shyness before 17. I always feel like a outsider in the class and people are always judging me by my personality. Now as I grow I feel like I'm more okay with it because this is who I am. I finally stopped hating myself for being shy and introvert 😊
You are a very articulate, intelligent young lady and explained yourself very well. Being an introvert is something to be proud of. There are too many people in the world who are bragging, and talking out loud about garbage and not really saying anything of value.
Same lol just yesterday I got picked to read something off the board and everyone jumped in their seats because I read it flawlessly since I'm the "quiet one" I find it draining to talk constantly in front of people I don't know every well. With my friends, I don't shut up lol. But growing up, people have always made me feel really bad for not being super talkative (teachers, family, etc.) People ask if I'm mad or shy and that's unbelievably rude and it makes you not want to talk to them since they're so misinformed and disrespectful. Like that's the first thing that they'll say to me, and I try to tell them how it's wrong to ask that. Then they look at me as if I am the mean one 🤣 It's really a never-ending process You should never feel bad or let anyone else make you feel bad about being an introvert, quiet or shy :) There's nothing wrong with being that way xx
I'm actually pretty talkative with certain people. But with others, I'm quiet. And I'm okay with it. I just hate others pointing it out all the time and seeing it as a flaw. Just the other day I got told by my boss "you're a good girl, but you're way too shy." I'm not shy, I'm just quiet with some people. Sometimes I just wanna be in my own thoughts and not talk to others. It doesn't make it a flaw smh
The few friends I make online or irl all are extroverts and that really adds on to feeling insecure about being shy and quiet. I just wonder why I just can't be like them. But I can relate to this on so many levels, thanks so much for this video 💜
same with me, i'm 21 and still always feeling nervous when speaking in front of public, i'm bodies getting shaking and just wanna run away quickly LOL so uncomfortable. thank you for making this video, you remind me that i'm not alone, and you're not the only one who feel that to, we are not weird :)
I had a lot of people be brutal towards me growing up just because I was quiet, people said they didn't like me because of it, even adults told me that. I was already insecure but it made me 10 times more insecure then I would have been. I realized a lot of those people just don't understand and im growing to like the fact that im quiet even though I've always been envious of loud, extroverted people. I appreciate the mix, not everyone can be loud and extroverted, the world would be chaos. As long as you're comfortable and secure with yourself, be whoever you want, if someone doesn't like it, that's okay, they don't have to. :)
thanks society for making introverts' lives hard. but as long as we say "we're introverts" instead of "I'm an introvert", I know that it's going to be fine.
At times when I'm alone, I think to myself "yeah I'm beautiful, I'm perfect, don't let other people get in the way, don't think about other people's judgement!" And then there are times when I feel like the most awkward and unwanted person on the earth...it's like my zodiac(leo) personality and MBTI(INFP) personality contradict each other. It feels like I'm both and none at the same time. And then whenever I try to speak with not so familiar people, I can feel myself quiver and hear my voice like somebody put a vibrato filter on it. It's just that face to face talk is so hard for me but I can talk perfectly well and even better while I'm texting with BASICALLY ANYONE. And we'll that was me ranting about things cause I just had a meeting with 80 members who I hadn't talked to even once but I had to say something cause they called my name but the response was so meager to what I said that I started overthinking whether they like me or not🥺
I grew up with this! Everyone would ask me why you are so quiet - even when I tried to talk lol. From what I have learned - its caused by inhibition spirits. Monika is beautiful!
Yea I never understand this, even when I tried to be more talkative ppl still say I don’t talk much, ppl will still judge me about it, it’s mind boggling to me! Like what do I have to do? like it bothers ppl, especially in the work place.
I totally agree with you! I was always more quiet, shy and introverted ... in my adolescence it was worse too, when we heard a lot of "don't you talk?" "go, say something!" "Wow, she has a voice"... growing up listening to this makes us feel inadequate, wrong... and so our self-esteem will not be the best, and we will think that there will always be something wrong with us ourselves... what we need to improve is really accepting our nature, valuing our uniqueness... because it is very difficult in our society for people to accept who is different and that is sad
yeah, I totally get you. For a long time I've been kind of stuck because I thought being quiet limited me but as the years pass I managed to understand myself more and be ok with possible changes. As you said I don't think that you are faded to be the same forever and I'm just grateful for the changes but I also respect (and appreciate) my quiet traits a lot more now. It was a really nice video!
I am still quiet, shy and introverted but I think i became less shy and quiet when I was given a student leader in primary school. I was confused as to why I got a student leader but I feel like the teachers wanted me to express myself more. Going into high school, I was still quiet and shy but I realised that I found friends easily and it wasn't that bad for me. But even this day, I just cannot do casual conversation but just makes me awkward and sometimes I just feel like embarrassed after the interaction. Yeah a lot of people still ask me why am I so quiet but it really depemds on who i am around. My close friends don't think i am quiet AT ALL. A teacher was once telling them how quiet I was and they were No! She is not quiet! 😂 so yeah it depends on who i am around
I can relate to you so much. I'm still a teen, and yesterday my teacher switched my seats to the back row because she thought I was too quiet so I should just sit in the back since i dont talk a lot. That felt like a slap on my face. Especially because my deskmate, said the same thing to me, "you're too quiet, you never talk to me or anyone else, if u would have talked more u could have still stayed where you can see what the teacher is writing". Then, I felt empty. I just wanted to cry. I couldn't say anything. I asked the teacher if I can still stay in the front, but she refused. Next day, which is today, my "friend" i recently made straightforwardly said that im boring. I was going to her class during my break time to talk to her and she was like "please stop coming to my class, you are rlly quiet, you dont even talk that much to me, stop hanging out with me." she said straight-up without trying to cover the fact that she was being really immature and rude and she could see the expression on my face that I was taken aback. This was just the first time, it happened many times. One time these group of girls were talking suddenly asked me "why r u so quiet?" and all i could do was smile, inside i was dieing. Another time, before my exam started all these students were talking and enjoying while i was studying and i wanted to talk to but i was too nervous and continued to read my material and one student comes up and says "why dont u talk? u should talk!", in result I got lesser marks in my exams cuz i couldnt stop thinking of that statement. I remember all the days I used to go home and cry, cover up my sadness at sschool and not tell anybody about how i feel, not even to my parents. Although I don't cry as much now like i did in my previous year, (i still do feel sad but quickly recover after i understand the situation and get support from my online friends) it still hurts like hell, but i realized thankful to all the experiences i had, I become more stronger and just didn't care about other's opinions. Even the part where my friend leaves me, it devastated me, but after re-thinking I realized i shouldn't beat myself up for it. I stopped talking to her, and during lunch break she was the one who came to me and said "hey lets hang out" and I had the courage to say "no sorry, im too quiet right?" and then she just stood there for a few secs and left. Lol, i wrote a whole paragraph on how i feel, but i've just learned to accept who I am as a person.
I'm a extrovert with social anxiety so I understand a lot of the things that you said I really like talking to people, but I get so nervous, is really frustanting in 2 days is my graduation, and I have to give a speech I've been practicing for a week now and I still don't feel ready last time I spoke in front of people I cried so much I was shaking a lot and I almost fainted I don't know how to just talk I think so much about it
I very much understand where you're coming from, because i can relate. My former congregation helped me to make myself more bold. I gave bible readings, and talks in front of the whole congregation. But i started off with just the B school, which was just a small fraction of the congregation.
will you have a paper that you will be reading from? try to concentrate just on the paper and in reading the words. i'm not good at public speaking but the times i've done it i've been so nervous beforehand, but find that once i'm in the moment it's not as bad as i thought in my head! just try to be positive and think to yourself that you will do AMAZING! GOOD LUCK! 💜
I am a quiet person, not because I'm shy but because I want to be more conscious about the words that I am uttering. I've learned from experience that not saying much still has more benefits than saying too much.
I relate. When I was in Elementary school, a long time ago, I remember there was a teacher, that taught us about values, morality, etc, everybody loved her, and indeed, she was very sweet and kind, I liked her too. But this teacher one day at the morning, when we all had a reunion for daily announcements and other things, she passed at the escenario and started to speak, saying that she’s seen a lot of students eating alone, and that she wanted everyone to cooperate and “Help” this shy people and since she was very loved, everyone started acting right away. At the time I was at 3rd grade, I was so shy, it was my second year at that school, and I’ve managed to get one friend, but she was very extroverted, and I generally just walked away for her to be with her other 9 or more friends (not a lie, I’m serious, she had that much) so I ate alone as well, and it was soooo awkward for everyone to ask you 3 times per week if you wanted to eat with them. One day, this teacher was saying this dialogue as usual, but what changed was that she added: “if they don’t want to, you don’t have to force them” and I was like: Oh thank god. The amount of people asking decreased. Something I didn’t like about it was the fact that they only started doing it when the teacher asked them to, so probably more than the 70% weren’t doing it totally genuinely, and that she didn’t make herself clear since the start, they never forced me to eat with them, but maybe some did. She should’ve said that since the start
I like talking to people, but my shyness is that even though I Wana say something I fear people is looking at me and even though I talk people wouldn't hear me, because I wasn't speaking loud enough. That video is really helpful. I thought I was only one like that
it's such an alien concept to people who aren't introvert, i had to practice to get better at trying to interact with others and it took soooo long to get to a point where i can talk with people i don't know without feeling like i'm going to burst, and still i respond if i'm engaged with, i don't think i've ever engaged with a stranger which is nuts. It's so weird how people can't understand that you can be quiet lol.
true i don't think i've ever willingly talked to a stranger (unless to tell them if they dropped something or something like that). an ideal 5 star uber ride for me is one where the only words spoken are "hello" and "thank you" lol
Honestly I don't know what I'm shy, introvert or anxious person. I'm feeling so down now a days when I was in school I thought I'll be more confident in college but it didn't happen now I'm going to graduate from university in few months and started my first job but I'm still the same person. I hate when ppl ask me, "why you are so quiet?" I'm really bad in communication. Honestly it's my job probation period and they want a more out spoken, confident person. Sometimes I just think the world is not for me I want to run so far away from everyone.
Same here I too wanna runaway from this daily exhaustion...smtimes I feel good talking to ppl but not with everyone. I worry all the time thinking of my condition ..I feel everyone else is living their best lives and am just trying hard to survive here. I tried being extrovert but then I failed .I terrified meeting my schoolmates .I hate it .
I also used to think about everything I said obsessively before speaking. That's your brain being overly logical and making a natural process more difficult than it shpuld be. Its called scripting. Its very common with people with social anxiety. Its best to practice mindfulness and being in the moment and stop scripting. CBT for social anxiety teaches that.
I'd consider myself an introvert, because I become really quite when I'm with people that I'm not very close to. But I can also be an extrovert whenever I'm with my close friends and I even say jokes or is always in the spotlight when I'm with them. I guess it just depends on who I am with. I can also be extremely shy, although I will always say what I want to say especially in class or if I want to say something to someone. Whenever I'm so confident about being outspoken or showing myself in front of a crowd, I'd really get embarrassed and regretful right after. Confused- that's how I feel about my whole personality. Maybe I'm not the only one or am I?
Thanks for sharing your story. I am 21, and I still wonder if i am an introvert, or I am just too shy. I prefer been alone, and very quiet to the point where whenever I open my mouth, words hardly come out. But when I text, it flows. This has been the reason why I started learning graphics designing, and coding. Though I am glad I finally mastered those skills because of my nature, but I still would love to be able to speak up with people, and tell them about the business I am building, and my skills. I hope one day, I mature to the point where I will be able to talk in front of a crowd fearlessly, and boldly.
I hate how most videos on TH-cam about introverts tell you how to STOP BEING ONE, as if it was a problem. I wanted to change this about me for the longest time and just lately realized i love this about my self and want to embrace it in all its beauty, even though it's very difficult to be understood or meet friends with similar behavior. Anyway stay strong introvert community 💪
girl i can relate with you. so much. i'm an introvert, and i've always been a timid girl since i was young. i'm really quiet and i think most people are intimidated by that. many people are passive and awkward towards me whenever they are with me, and that's what really makes me conscious, and i'm someone who cares a lot about what other people would think about me. but when i do talk or say what's on my mind, people ignore me. like-- i knew it, it's better if i keep quiet, no one listens anyway. i also hate small talks, it's making things more awkward. and it's really hard for me to socialize, especially in an extroverted society. ugh i just, i wish someone would understand me personally as much as how i understood you, haha
I can relate to every word you said. I hate being quiet it makes me feel so weird about myself. Once i remember my teacher saying to me "you are so quiet that your very presence cannot be felt in the class", still i didn't say anything.
literally every single thing you said and shared about being a teen happened to me, I was saying to me self "I can relate",. "this is me" so many times and sometimes even out loud. It was nice to hear that you felt better about yourself as you grew up, im Currently 23 and thinking about how shy and quiet I was really makes me sad because Ive been told that by not talking and not standing up for yourself you are missing so much of life, I always knew that this was not the case for me, I do enjoy being alone because it helps me focus on the things I want and plan to do but I also enjoy being surrounded by friends. As for now I am more than able to speak for myself when it comes to my native language, I actually having trouble speaking English with others, being in all this covid situation really expanded my online friends list, I always considered my English to be decent enough to be understood by others, passed classes without any problems as well Uni English test but when it comes to speaking up I find it really hard. For the past month ive been expanding my English practices, tried to engage conversation with closer friends or family members and read a bunch of materials out loud but I still dont feel ready or confident enough with my voice, Im starting to realize that maybe my English is not the main problem but I still suffer from being quiet type of person - which I still am without a doubt. Guess I still have a long path to walk
Hello. I’m a teenager and I do feel many emotions. I struggle in overthinking in simple situations. I’m quiet and I do care what other people think of me sometimes but I don’t like that. Although I am brave whenever I build up my courage when I need to. I might think of myself as shy but I do believe I’m brave too. For example, I’m brave enough to comment in the comment section. Watching your video made me realize that I can be hopeful in always being myself and feeling motivated in being who I am. Just want to say thank you for making this video. Btw I love your taste in films!
Thank you for this video,I am feeling bad,and kind of overwhelmed with sad thoughts lately,also judging myself too harshly for being shy,quiet,this video is helping me feel better
Oh my ! Thank goodness you are sharing your experience as a shy kid . Sometimes I felt as if I'm the only person with this LeVeL of shyness , but now I'm not alone and realized people here have the same problem . Don't worry dear people , we all are amazing even if nobody likes our beautiful personality .
I can’t thank you enough for this video, I can definitely relate to every single word. It made me feel like I’m not alone and being shy isn’t necessarily bad
hi!! i just want u to know that everything u said, i relate to all of them. i didnt even think that someone shares the same experience as me when ppl tell me " why are u so quiet?" all the time and the fact that if i ever speak up they will feel weird at the same time when i dont speak at all. i thought i was alone and felt insecure abt it but now i feel comfortable. thanks for sharing ur story! ik im not the only one now who feels like this and speaking abt this personal stuff is rlly hard and im so proud of you! ( let me also add that the reason i first subscribed to u bc i want to be a filmmaker omg )
I totally can relate. It doesn’t happen as much now but “why are you so quiet” used to be my least favorite words. Recently there was a small group discussion with a mini presentation at the end and everyone in my group was pretty loud and confident. The whole time I kept trying to get myself to say something. Anything. For some reason I couldn’t. And I had a part I needed to discuss so I knew what to present. It wasn’t until the last minute that I said something small and everyone just said “ok sure!”. And then I felt super dumb for not being able to say a single word until the end. This hadn’t happened this intensely in years. Probably not since early high school and I’m in college now. I drove home crying too haha. Also because..emotions lol. Thanks for talking about this! It makes me feel less weird
sorry to hear that 💜 sometimes i feel like some days are worse than others. there are days where i feel very confident and i can speak to anyone and be super friendly and outspoken (although it's rare lol) but there are days where i feel super shy as well. don't worry! it was just a bad day and better days will come!
Being a shy and introverted teenager literally sucks. As I have gotten older and gotten out of high school it is not a problem for me that much anymore. The question "why are you so quiet" just makes me so angry because people genuinely can not understand what it's like to just not know what to say when you first meet someone.
I feel so similar to how you did when you were a teen, I am very quiet and reserved. I avoid speaking in fear of what people will think about me, and I know people say ‘ don’t worry about what other’s think’, but it is not that easy. My brain is constantly thinking of different things that could happen if I was more outspoken. I also have a youtube channel, not many subscribers but I have made a great little community and some great friends! Being online is like an escape for me, since it is the only place I feel like I can be myself. Around people online I feel much more confident and I can say things and make videos without the same fear I get in real life. I also used to love performing and singing in front of all my friends and family when I was younger, but now I just cannot because I am so worried about what they will think of me, even though they are family! It seems horrible to be so shy and quiet now, but I will take my time to build confidence and I still love who I am, because I’m kind, a good listener and empathetic. I know people judge me because I don’t talk much, but as long as I continue to love who I am it’s all that matters, and I’m taking my time figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life :)
Hi Monika. thanks for sharing your experience being shy/quiet and such. I used to be that way for most of my life as well and this video really brought me back to the memories I have of my old self. I'm 21 now and the past year I feel like I've really grown more confident and I gotta say that it's because I put myself in situations where I had to constantly meet and talk to new people. I got a job as a cashier, and along with my co-op in uni, I was exposed to a lot of verbal communication. After the most interactively intense year of my life, I feel like I've gotten a lot more confident and outspoken. For anyone reading this, there is hope and it's really just about facing your fears! It takes time and effort but if you really want to not give a shit what people think of you, it's worth the hard work xD. Now when people ask why I'm dying my hair different colours in my 20s when most people go through that "phase" in their teens...I know its because I'm just more confident in myself and don't care as much what people think...as opposed to before. It makes me happy and causes no harm to anyone, therefore I will do it :) Confidence makes all the difference. For those of us that aren't naturally confident, it will take practice, getting to know yourself, and also gaining perspective. Seeing things from another person's perspective can allow understanding between people. It can be seeing that those that judge you or ask you questions that may come off rude might just simply not know and have been conditioned by their parents/relatives and society in general that you should be a certain way. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and let them learn. By always keeping an open mind and think this way (from a 3rd person perspective albeit) it distances yourself from the situation and gives you perspective...and helps you to let go of the fear. Seriously. TRY IT. IT WORKS. If even one person finds this helpful, I just wanna say you rock and go get em xD. Thank you.
I am going through this right now! And I'm so glad I found this video. Lots of the louder people I know will always say "Just have confidence" or "What's so hard about talking", and I would hate myself for being quiet, when it is actually okay to be quiet. I once cried for a few hours because I hated myself for being so quiet. I thought that I am just not social enough, but that's not the case. I am just drained if energy if I try to talk like a loud person, so if you make me talk for a while, my voice will become kinda weird.
Yes I can relate - thanks for sharing, sometimes the details of introvert’s lives are portrayed as quite painful when going back and really examining. I’m 40 now adult make and still deal with shyness but as you said , it’s not a curse. It would be a loud, strange , scary place without us introverts here thinking and analyzing and always listening.
I feel like I went through exactly the same thing growing up. I hated when people would ask me “why are you so quiet?” because I never knew how to respond and I would just get all red and it made me feel like i was stuck in a box, like if that’s who I was supposed to be and was going to be all my life. I hated it when ppl pointed it out, but there was one time in 4th grade when it really got to me. I had this teacher that would point it out all the time to make the class laugh and one day she was making seating charts for a field trip we were going on. Then she said “It doesn’t matter where Carolina sits because it’ll be like she’s not even there.” I felt everyone staring at me but it looked like even my classmates understood she had crossed the line. It felt so horrible. There was a teacher there that didn’t even know me and defended me a little. I had to fight so hard to hold back tears. And that was the day my self hatred began, at just 10 years old🙃 I still struggle with being shy but I’ve grown since then. I think it’s important for other people to know that shy people are people too and asking or saying things like that might affect them more than you think.
In my senior year of high school, I was in a creative writing class. At the end of the semester the teacher wrote a poem for the class and every student got a line written about them. Mine was “Jason sat in silence, he had no words to waste.” He knew I had words; I completed every writing assignment. I still think about that 33 years later.
I HAVE FELT LIFE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE. I also experience anxiety when it comes to college and going into architecture and presentations and stuff but I've been working on it and its still nerve racking but life has taught me so much about my power and my abilities. Thanks for talking about this.
All that you are saying is exactly what happens to me and I've been struggling with it all my life. You are right, people don't let you enjoy your being quiet. I am just like you.
After watching this video, I feel that I'm not alone anymore cuz I actually thought that I was the only person in the world who is super super shy and introverted. And I also like art!!!
I just found your channel and I'm so happy that I did. I feel like I'm listening to myself. I think I finally found my twin sister. I understand you perfectly. I'm subscribing to all the shy people out there. I support you 100%.
I just recently started high school a few months ago and it's been a total pain in the ass as the awkward, unathletic, and quiet kid who never really participates in class. Growing up as that same kid just always made me feel like some sort of rusty robot that's nearly wrecked. Desperately trying to keep its machinery working without any help. And I totally get you especially with those comments like ''you speak?". Personally I've also gotten comments related with my emotions, like ''oh you smile too?" it just really drags me down even more like what you said with your own experience. I wanted to make a change but I messed it up again by making the same perception of me that most people have. It makes me feel as if it will be the only thing I'll ever be known for in life. That's not the first time I've thought of that. I overthink how things would go so much to the point that it's all I waste my time on instead of actually doing something to make a change. I ace subjects like an average student and yet I still feel like the most incompetent due to my lack of practically everything that society wants to consider someone a ''normal'' human being.
If I had a nickel every time I heard that, I'd be ric- well, well off with inflation. It's a slow progression for me, I feel like I get better as time goes on, better may not be the best word, I have accepted my quietness, yet I want to get better at speaking when I do want/need to speak.
i relate so much to this !! i am 15 now and i feel like i'm changing and i'm slowly becaming less shy i was definitely a lot more shy like 2 years ago than i am now but i still care a lot about what people think and it's so hard to just not care about it :( but even tho i'm still an introvert i'm a little more confident now and that makes me really happy :D love from portugal
I love you for speaking about this. I get it. I was quiet growing up because of anxiety I got from abuse. I was judged very harshly for everything which stifled a lot of my social growth. I was a very social kid and I talked a lot but knowing how many eyes were on me and that I'd be picked on for just being a normal kid really got to me so I thought it'd stop if I didn't speak. I thought I was more valuable as a person if I was quiet and agreeable. I still struggle with these feelings but now I'm loud and hyperactive and a bit annoying. I'm a natural leader in friend groups and I'm less of the mom friend and more of the rough big sister. It's hard speaking up but you can learn. It's okay to be introverted and a bit shy but don't ever be insecure. The less you speak the more important what you'll have to say will be. Being reserved makes you come across as polite and respectful and it makes others feel more comfortable confiding in you. Don't worry, you've got this thing called socializing! Just believe in yourself.
i hate that i always cry whenever people points out that i am so quiet. i want to love myself but those people tho. i know that im doing progress since i was in elementary school and now im in college, i kinda know how to make some conversations to people but sometimes my head is like empty and i dont have anything to say. and people who still points that out to me until TODAY, they hinders me from improving myself. they are making it like a bad thing. i badly want to change myself because of this. tbh im so quiet only in my family
I usually analize my actions before making them and still analize them After I make them, even if it's been weeks or months ago I often feel very nervous when I'm going to say something a crowd of people needs to listen since it's important and I stutter My voice gets really small when talking to others and not when I'm alone at home My face gets red when I feel embarassed and when I don't know how to react to certain things or situations I smile a lot when talking to others because I don't want them to think I don't like them or look like a mean person, I wanna make a good impression I struggle saying what I think and feel Being shy is kind of exhausting! But I'm always doing my best, gotta keep moving forward!
Ohh she speaks!!
Me: yeah just not to you.
xDD
Yeah I can relate
Lol I relate to that heavily
I’ll try that when someone says that next time
Yes 👏
The worst thing is when they constantly try to change u to an extrovert.. Like please stop please your gonna kill me
@Pelswad as a very shy introvert, I advice you to never force an introvert to do something that they're uncomfortable with. Never try to force him/her to be an extrovert.
😆
Doing that only made me more introverted.
Oh my god. I totally get you. I wish more people would understand that being an introvert is normal.. and be respectful
yes! i don't know why it's so hard for some people to understand sometimes
True true
Yes
My family makes fun of me for that...since they are all extroverts
I understand what your saying! It seems if your introverted/shy, people prejudge you without getting to know you. They act like something is wrong with you. You are who you are and you shouldn't have to change for anyone except yourself. I've gotten a little bit better over the years, but at times it still bothers me when people are always making comments about how quite you are even in the workplace. I do like people, but not in large groups and when I recharge, I like my alone time.
Being an introvert is like being judged for sitting there and minding your own business.
Facts!!!! Agreed 💯
Same here!
Yes yes!!!!
Really
Oh my gosh yes!
I was always the quiet kid and most of my teachers didn't like it. Once a teacher told me to speak and I did but no one heard me so she told me to repeat it louder. I did and she yelled: "She can talk!!" and made the whole class clap for me. I felt so bad that I wanted to cry..
Some teachers are really mean to the students... Unfortunately
I can relate, it was just embarissing!
This happened to me at school too, i answered a question the teacher asked, the whole class went 'ooooh!'. Teacher starts laughing and says 'be quiet or she'll never speak again!' I just wanted to cry. I'm 40 and it still makes me cry.
Yeah That Happend to me too and I am going to school, so it also happen to me now sometimes🥺(sorry for Bad english)
One of my teachers made me do a bible reading in church in front of about 100 people. I got so anxious I messed up the reading and cried on stage. I don't think teachers have a good understanding of personality types. Either that or they just don't care.
When someone ask me “why are you so quiet” then I’m done lol
Yes same
answer "I don't know" works every time for me xD
One time my friend asked me this and I told her that maybe she's just loud haha
I feel like a good response could also be "because I can".
Growing up as introvert in extrovert society is really really tough.
extrovert are opposite of us
even if 50% introverts and 50% extroverts it feels like we are the minority
“oh, you’re so quiet” “why are you so quiet?” are the phrases that i’ve heard the most in my life i think.
i still remember how in one class the teacher made a question and nobody could answer right, i knew the answer and i wanted to raise my hand but i just couldn’t. what i had in mind was indeed the right answer. and is dumb that i still remember this because it happened years ago.
i still am very quiet, but i (wanna) try to be more confident (?)
also, i always find myself rehearsing what i want to say, whether it be for something simple like a phone call or something more serious like a presentation
yes that happened to me a lot! i know the right answer but still feel so insecure and then it turns out it was indeed the right answer
Johana H dont forget that “ why dont you talk”
Ya me too "why are you so quite" "why don't you talk" " she doesn't even talk" and things like that. I too rehears things what I want to say. Is what I'm saying right? , Is the sentence formed right?
you know I am a victim of rehearsing what I say before I’ll say it ... I haven’t been in a classroom in months now so I mainly rehearse when I speak in front of family , it happens so fast and sometimes I’m not 100% aware I’m doing it and at times it gets WORSE like "I have a school presentation in front of the whole class " WORSE and sometimes (this is gonna sound so contradictory ) sometimes I don’t even practice what I’m gonna say because the practice part makes me anxious and I feel like that moment that I’m practicing is somehow displayed to everyone who will see me present ( even though it hasn’t happened yet) so I don’t practice and then I flunk the presentation ..... yes I did that once left a fat mark
Its totally my problem too
I relate to this so much! Especially the part about rehearsing exactly what you're going to say and being a good listener/analytical. I was extremely shy and quiet growing up and everyone said I would grow out of it, but I haven't! I'm turning 25 in a few weeks and I'm more socially anxious than ever. I try to explain to people that even though actions like introducing yourself, making a phone call, or talking to a waitress seem easy or second-nature to them, they are incredibly difficult tasks for me. I think this is why I am so drawn to art (writing, illustration, filmmaking)-it's because I can use these mediums to communicate my ideas and feelings much more effectively than I am ever able to verbally.
phone calls are my worst enemy. i totally understand what you mean. i do still think people can grow out of it and change (they don't have to of course! especially if you learn to accept that that's just how you are). my mom was extremely shy, even more than me, and she told me she grew out of it when she was about 35. i couldn't believe it since to me she's always been the most friendly and outspoken person, but it is possible. that's why i think we as humans are always changing throughout our entire lives; our personalities might not be the same as they are now in 10 years time. and yes i can totally relate to being drawn to art 💜
This is me, like I saw a meme that said, “ to all the people I went to school with that called me shy or quiet. I’m not shy or quiet, I just didn’t fucking like anybody!” I felt that... It’s not like I just don’t like them not knowing them, I see the way they interact with other people and how their personality is and they were all just fake. But now being in quarantine, I feel safe in my room.😊
@@Akaashi_is_Superior I thought same way as u trought out my childhood but then I got really bored so I started activites and made new friends there
I can also relate that im too drawn to art
@@Akaashi_is_Superior same
I am a 6'6 Black Male, and I have been like this since elementary School. I don't know why I am quiet I watch alot, I can scan a room and find weakness and strength within that group. I don't even talk loud or seek confrontation unless I have to be aggressive. I tend to be alone alot but not in my mind it's a party. I Love me.
I'm the exact same way bro
My good i have a classmate that os a copy of you he is a tower but he is very quiet
I AM quiet as whell very weird on social set Ups o My good só akward hahaha
Bro I feel you. Im a tall black man and I've been quiet most of my life lol.
bro are you me? you just described my life. Thanks for sharing
Same bro
I love to be an introvert, but I used to dislike it when I was a teenager. People made fun of me because I was quiet and not talking a lot. Now I don't care anymore, if I don't want to interact I just don't do it.
As you I overcame most of my shyness but I'm still shy and that's part of me :)
Thanks for the video✨
yes! love this energy 💜
Gotta accept it because it's amazing being introverted, but be true and be you is the best way to go😁👏🙌
Gosh life is so hard when youre an introvert. My teacher asked me for the answer in class and its been a day but i still haven’t stopped thinking about how stupid i sounded. In my head I understand but when I speak my words are all over the place. Its makes me blush, hot and my heartbeat gets louder and louder. I hate myself! I hate how the easiest tasks are hard for me.
Aww. Thank you for explaining this. I came here to learn more about introversion and your explanation really opened my eyes. It sounds like a litte bit of fear followed up by judging yourself too harshly. The fact that you actually feel so awful about public speaking really helps me to empathize more.
You’re not alone, I’m the same way and it’s made me feel bad so many times over the years that I can’t even count them
It’s okay to not understand where we’re coming from, but I think it’s important to begin to accept it 😊 there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, we’re just all different
I’m right there with you though and still learning myself how to accept myself and the way that I am
I feel my hatred for people is because my experiences as introvert
Finally someone who i can actually relate to 😄
this sounds like you have social anxiety, not shyness or introverted.
Pure Resonance. Sadly quiet people get bullied quite often. Trying to be normal to fit in to not be judged negatively is overwhelming
People make me feel so uncomfortable for being an introvert, but once you find people who accept you and how you are, you realize it's normal and okay. You dont have to answer to anyone.
I dont like how people keeps saying "why are u shy?" Like, its just my personality
yeah, i rlly hate how im shy and quiet these days. whenever i get comfortable and talkative around people they’ll say, “i remember how you were so shy” it’s rlly annoying.
Like bruh bich did i chose to be like that
i always search for these kind of videos every time someone tells me “why are you so quiet” or pointing out that im quiet. i need to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with that and i am not alone 💛
There is nothing wrong with you or other introverts! It''s so sad to read all the comments here from people with the same experience of being judged for who they are. Being introvert is just a part of who we are. When extraverts tells us often: "You are always so quite" (with an undertone) it''s just a judgement, and they don't accept you for who you are. The message is in fact: You are not good (enough) the way you are.
I've never heard myself saying into the faces of extraverts: "You are always so loud!" In my opinion it's disrespectful to say that. When we do that (often) i bet that they will feel judged and maybe will feel not good enough too. Being Introvert, Ambivert or Extraverts is totally fine! We must respect eachother!
I am 33 years old now, and my whole life i was being judged for being an Introvert, till now. Some people just don't get it!! BUT there are alot of people who appreciate my silence, calmness, introspection....They say: "You are so calm and it calms me down", "You are so calm and you take the time to say what you want to say and that really does something to me." Being in your surrounding makes me calm and relaxed" "I want to be more quite like you"
In ashrams/monasteries or people who loves self-reflection, contemplation and meditation, we introverts are greatly appreciated!! :D
Same, that's actually why I'm watching this right now
You’re the only person I know who truly understands what it means to be quiet/introverted. I used to be much more shy in high school/ middle school, and beat myself up about it as well. However, as I got into college I realized that people didn’t care what I did anymore (because I know go to a much bigger school), so I had much more space to be who I am. I am still introverted/ quiet, but I’ve stopped beating myself so much about it. I still sometimes try to avoid small talk though like taking the stairs to avoid talking to anyone. Anyway thank you for this video!! 💜
i feel exactly the same! 💜 i do think college helped me a lot in opening up and being less shy
oh wow. related to everything you said. I'm 23 now but as a teenager I was horribly shy and I hated it, I hated myself. I've noticed that in the past two years i've grown a lot. I'm still introverted and I just don't have a lot to say. But i'm growing towards self-acceptance... I'm just really happy to hear you tell your story. You seem like the best type of person and I'm happy to be in the introverted club with you and so many others :)
yes introverted club!! 💜
How are you coping now though?
Ive just realised all the friends ive ever had, approached me first. Now that im in college i dont know how to make new friends and I'm tired of being the weird guy even though I'm perfectly normal.
@@kadblue2000 Spend time on library and read books, that would attract others attentions as look smarter
yes, damn I hate society, not because i'm shy I just hate
I STILL get criticised for being too quiet. In my job I'm supposed to be *assertive* and *strong*. But it's such a misconception that being quiet, reserved or reticent means you're not those things. We're all different. So many of us are socially anxious. You're doing great and I'm glad you feel more brave and feel like you know yourself more. i'm getting there too 💛
thanks christy 💜 i completely agree. being quiet or reserved doesn't mean you still don't have strong opinions and aren't confident
Can I talk to u?
I am working rn and my work demands me to be outgoing and talkative which I am not...from the very first day at work people realized that I am quite. And the worst part is they telling I am quite infront of a crowd..this is really eating me up...any suggestions would be appreciated
I felt every single thing that you said and totally get you. I hate myself for being a very shy introvert. People are always asking me " why are you shy?" "why can't you talk?" "Why can't you engage in this or that".... Words like that hurts me a lot. They wouldn't understand :((((
Stay strong girl. You're not alone
Fr. And when I finally try to say something, it turns out embarrassing as hell
@@olderalt.4066 exactly. If we say something, it's stupid or embarrassing. If we don't it's awkward. :(
Ever since I was a teenager i used to be so introverted and i noticed this in highschool people would come to me and ask me why I'm so quite. The question hurt me like a thorn i started blaming myself for being an introvert. But by time you grow used to it . I love being me.
Are we the same person??? Omg I feel so seen!!! It's nice to see someone with a large audience talking about this!!!
Metooo
Same
I have been quiet my entire life, and I am 61 years old now. I would not change the way I am for anything. I am not insecure or shy. I just observe a lot and do not say anything. I also have a very rich inner life, read a lot, and prefer to keep my thoughts to myself. There is nothing wrong with that.
At my last job we used to have staff meetings where we all bought our own lunch along to eat during the meeting
I was a part-time receptionist and my responsibilities were to help customers with very straightforward, mundane issues.
I knew nothing about finances, administration or the future plans for the organisation.
So I had very little to say at the staff meetings and this was fair enough.
However, I was criticised for not saying anything.
On the rare occasions when I did have something to say, my comments were dismissed or ridiculed
But, if, the very next week, someone else made the exact same comment, they were treated as if it was their own wonderful idea
One day I had a really good idea about something but I knew that if I put forward that idea myself it would not be heard
So I asked one of the other head people to put forward that suggestions as if it were her own idea
Once the idea was accepted as something wonderful she told them that it was actually my idea
They didn't know what to say!
Also, it didn't matter what I took for lunch, it was either too healthy or not healthy enough or they had to make some smart comment about it
the worst part of being the quiet kid in the classroom is whenever we had visitors and for some stupid reason these person start asking open questions to the whole class, such as "who is the most this or that?" an when the question "who is the most outspoken?" comes up the asshole bully answers with the name of the quiet kid and all classroom laugh reinforcing insecurities on the quiet kid about being quiet.
I'm trying to understand my daughter. She is so quiet. I encourages her to take sports. Broke my heart to see her sit alone while the others talk talk talk. But I love her no matter what. I'm there for her. And I sit next to her knowing I'm always by your side.
"I like people, I don't like to talk" That described me perfectly, I rather listen to someone speak than have to do small talk
I love quiet people :) They communicate in other ways :)
This video really resonated with me. When I started college this year, I told myself that I would speak more and socialize more with people. I still find it a struggle to articulate my thoughts when in class, even though I daydream about being able to just raise my hand and speak what's on my mind. I go to a school with lots of confident people who aren't afraid to speak up, and while that may be a positive thing, it still leaves me feeling lonely because it feels like no one really understands what it's like to be this way. Funnily enough, I'm a communication arts major. Not only am I one of the quiet students in my interpersonal communication class, but I am also the person who takes the stairs to avoid having to be the silent one in an elevator full of my outgoing classmates.
I want to be the person who can give a stranger a compliment, the student who can give her two cents to a class discussion, and the person who people won't be afraid to talk to. But thank goodness for the arts; painting, drawing, sculpting, and filmmaking really communicates my thoughts better than words can.
i feel you 💜 but don't worry and don't beat yourself up! like you said, immerse yourself in your art and through that you'll find the perfect way to communicate your feelings
i feel a lump in my throat watching this 😭❤️
love u💜
I live this out. I am a teenager and very shy/introvert. Not that I'm afraid to speak nessisary I just don't have anything to say. I'd rather lock myself in a closet then have small talk.
Thank you so much for making this video. It's good to know I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this.
Same, you not alone
I can totally relate. I’m can be socially awkward at times and by the end of the day I would be awake in the middle of the night thinking about all of the socially awkward moments in my life hahaha.
I’m usually reserved and keep to myself so much that I often eat lunch at a later time just to avoid those awkward small talks in the pantry. Not to say that I hate the people I work with, they’re great people but I sometimes don’t want to have the anxiety of thinking about talking points during lunch.
On the other hand, if I find myself in a conversation about something that I’m interested or passionate about, the awkwardness goes away.
omg same, the times i've just sat there and thought about my awkwardness lol. i wish i didn't though since it's just not worth it to spend time thinking about those things
Your pfp is buzz light year, kevin.
There was this person I was interested in and decided to talk to one day. My awkwardness that day has haunted me ever since, lol.
hi everyone 💜 thank you so much for sharing all of your experiences! i'm currently trying to answer and reply back to everyone. I do want to recommend a movie if you guys haven't watched it, it's Eighth Grade by Bo Burnham. I identified with the main character SO MUCH. It's about a girl who is in middle school and she is known for being the quiet one. She is trying to find her own voice and even makes little youtube videos. If you haven't watched it I really recommend it!
Hiii.... what ar u doing now?
I know exactly what ur talking bout I know that uncomfortableness that you feel in your chest when you feel akward during little small talk that goes awkward quiet it sucks I hate it
I will watch it
You are right in all that you have said am just one of those that don't say much and I love your videos
I've watched many videos on being an introvert and how they(we) feel but this one is the best, i could relate to every single word you've said! As a person who has mild form of depression and huge anxiety in combination with being an introvert and shy i can say that i have the worst combination of personality and mental conditions when it comes to having to talk to people and it is really hard and exhausting. I don't hate being an introvert but i wish i could handle those small talks when needed, so i don't have to go through "why are you so quiet" questions every single time. Because when i get asked that, i become even more quiet.
The fact that you're an introvert girl making a video for TH-cam makes me believe more in myself❤
I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this so thank you. I’ve gotten these same questions all my life - still do and I’m 22. I never understood why it is acceptable to ask someone why they’re so quiet and yet not acceptable to ask someone why they’re so loud. I think the culture you live in has a lot to do with this topic.
Growing up as a self-reserved/social person, has people assumed your personality because your quiet? (I had this happen to me, people would think i'm a goody-two shoes, not being aware of inapproriate things, watching certain shows/movies, etc.)
Another question: Are you extroverted at times and at times introverted?
I'm teary cuz I get this whole video 😢
same
I entirely know how you feel. I’m incredibly introverted. So much so that I prefer to keep to myself at almost all times. I failed most of my way through school mainly due to being unable to raise a hand and ask for help as I didn’t understand anything and felt I’d just be a bother to the class and slow everyone down because of it. It can honestly become a shackle to living life and depression went hand in hand with it for me.
I lost many friendships and even went through a phase of not speaking a single word to my father for 2 years out of nowhere. I had no control over it and didn’t even know why I couldn’t speak. I saw how much it hurt him but he loved me anyway. We have since repaired that instance in my life but to this day I still have no clue over what happened or why I acted that way.
Long story short:
Thanks for sharing your story. Always enjoy watching your vids Monika. With a smile like yours, nobody would ever think you had any struggles but everyone does and I thank you for speaking out.
You are an incredible light, plus you love anime ;) keep being a star ⭐️
i'm glad you and your father are better now!
Damn dude im in a pretty similar situation. I also speak to my parents very rarely and I dont know how to reach out and make friends in college.
@@kadblue2000 Hey man, I spent my entire adolescence fretting over my personality. I'm still a pretty quiet person but now as I approach my 30's I somehow feel more comfortable with myself.
Some things I wish I knew back when I was in college:
1. Your feelings are valid. Don't try to suppress them. They don't make you weak. They're there for a reason: they're trying to tell you something.
2. Go to therapy. You don't need to have something wrong with you to do it, and there's nothing shameful about it. It's like going to the dentist, but for your brain. It may take some time, but they'll help you understand yourself, which is an immensely important step on the path toward self-acceptance. Please make sure to find a good therapist though, since there are so many bad ones out there.
3. I wouldn't follow advice on the internet. So many people out there without credentials will tell you 'how it is' without any evidence to back up their claims. There is no substitute for therapy.
4. Please be kind to yourself. I tried to cut myself off from my emotions as a means to cope with reality. I thought I didn't need therapy and that I was just being a pussy (pardon me for the language). Little did I know that I had a traumatic childhood and that I'm actually grappling with something much bigger than just timidity.
If I knew then what I know now, I think I would've been more patient with myself. It makes total sense why I am the way I am.
Finally, you deserve to be kind to yourself, and you deserve to be loved. It might be hard for you to believe if you're anything like me, but you are both lovable and likable. I wish you the very best.
I 'm also a shy introvert and I was really suffering from my shyness before 17. I always feel like a outsider in the class and people are always judging me by my personality. Now as I grow I feel like I'm more okay with it because this is who I am. I finally stopped hating myself for being shy and introvert 😊
Thank you for normalizing being a shy person. Especially as an adult. People either treat you as a child or try to change you.
this is true. that question is very stressful. why dont they leave us alone
I never came across my life to search for being quiet and shy and I found this video and I thought I was the only one. I can relate Sooooo much😭😭
You are a very articulate, intelligent young lady and explained yourself very well. Being an introvert is something to be proud of. There are too many people in the world who are bragging, and talking out loud about garbage and not really saying anything of value.
Same lol just yesterday I got picked to read something off the board and everyone jumped in their seats because I read it flawlessly since I'm the "quiet one"
I find it draining to talk constantly in front of people I don't know every well. With my friends, I don't shut up lol. But growing up, people have always made me feel really bad for not being super talkative (teachers, family, etc.)
People ask if I'm mad or shy and that's unbelievably rude and it makes you not want to talk to them since they're so misinformed and disrespectful. Like that's the first thing that they'll say to me, and I try to tell them how it's wrong to ask that. Then they look at me as if I am the mean one 🤣 It's really a never-ending process
You should never feel bad or let anyone else make you feel bad about being an introvert, quiet or shy :) There's nothing wrong with being that way xx
i'm sorry you got picked on 💜 but i completely agree with your last sentence! always remember that, there's nothing wrong with being quiet
I'm actually pretty talkative with certain people. But with others, I'm quiet. And I'm okay with it. I just hate others pointing it out all the time and seeing it as a flaw. Just the other day I got told by my boss "you're a good girl, but you're way too shy." I'm not shy, I'm just quiet with some people. Sometimes I just wanna be in my own thoughts and not talk to others. It doesn't make it a flaw smh
The few friends I make online or irl all are extroverts and that really adds on to feeling insecure about being shy and quiet. I just wonder why I just can't be like them. But I can relate to this on so many levels, thanks so much for this video 💜
same with me, i'm 21 and still always feeling nervous when speaking in front of public, i'm bodies getting shaking and just wanna run away quickly LOL so uncomfortable. thank you for making this video, you remind me that i'm not alone, and you're not the only one who feel that to, we are not weird :)
I had a lot of people be brutal towards me growing up just because I was quiet, people said they didn't like me because of it, even adults told me that. I was already insecure but it made me 10 times more insecure then I would have been. I realized a lot of those people just don't understand and im growing to like the fact that im quiet even though I've always been envious of loud, extroverted people. I appreciate the mix, not everyone can be loud and extroverted, the world would be chaos. As long as you're comfortable and secure with yourself, be whoever you want, if someone doesn't like it, that's okay, they don't have to. :)
thanks society for making introverts' lives hard.
but as long as we say "we're introverts" instead of "I'm an introvert", I know that it's going to be fine.
At times when I'm alone, I think to myself "yeah I'm beautiful, I'm perfect, don't let other people get in the way, don't think about other people's judgement!" And then there are times when I feel like the most awkward and unwanted person on the earth...it's like my zodiac(leo) personality and MBTI(INFP) personality contradict each other. It feels like I'm both and none at the same time. And then whenever I try to speak with not so familiar people, I can feel myself quiver and hear my voice like somebody put a vibrato filter on it. It's just that face to face talk is so hard for me but I can talk perfectly well and even better while I'm texting with BASICALLY ANYONE.
And we'll that was me ranting about things cause I just had a meeting with 80 members who I hadn't talked to even once but I had to say something cause they called my name but the response was so meager to what I said that I started overthinking whether they like me or not🥺
I grew up with this! Everyone would ask me why you are so quiet - even when I tried to talk lol. From what I have learned - its caused by inhibition spirits. Monika is beautiful!
Yea I never understand this, even when I tried to be more talkative ppl still say I don’t talk much, ppl will still judge me about it, it’s mind boggling to me! Like what do I have to do? like it bothers ppl, especially in the work place.
I totally agree with you! I was always more quiet, shy and introverted ... in my adolescence it was worse too, when we heard a lot of "don't you talk?" "go, say something!" "Wow, she has a voice"... growing up listening to this makes us feel inadequate, wrong... and so our self-esteem will not be the best, and we will think that there will always be something wrong with us ourselves... what we need to improve is really accepting our nature, valuing our uniqueness... because it is very difficult in our society for people to accept who is different and that is sad
it was hard for you ......
so you were able to improve ! , Nicole
yeah, I totally get you. For a long time I've been kind of stuck because I thought being quiet limited me but as the years pass I managed to understand myself more and be ok with possible changes. As you said I don't think that you are faded to be the same forever and I'm just grateful for the changes but I also respect (and appreciate) my quiet traits a lot more now. It was a really nice video!
I feel exactly the same as you 💜
I am still quiet, shy and introverted but I think i became less shy and quiet when I was given a student leader in primary school. I was confused as to why I got a student leader but I feel like the teachers wanted me to express myself more. Going into high school, I was still quiet and shy but I realised that I found friends easily and it wasn't that bad for me. But even this day, I just cannot do casual conversation but just makes me awkward and sometimes I just feel like embarrassed after the interaction. Yeah a lot of people still ask me why am I so quiet but it really depemds on who i am around. My close friends don't think i am quiet AT ALL. A teacher was once telling them how quiet I was and they were No! She is not quiet! 😂 so yeah it depends on who i am around
I can relate to you so much. I'm still a teen, and yesterday my teacher switched my seats to the back row because she thought I was too quiet so I should just sit in the back since i dont talk a lot. That felt like a slap on my face. Especially because my deskmate, said the same thing to me, "you're too quiet, you never talk to me or anyone else, if u would have talked more u could have still stayed where you can see what the teacher is writing". Then, I felt empty. I just wanted to cry. I couldn't say anything. I asked the teacher if I can still stay in the front, but she refused. Next day, which is today, my "friend" i recently made straightforwardly said that im boring. I was going to her class during my break time to talk to her and she was like "please stop coming to my class, you are rlly quiet, you dont even talk that much to me, stop hanging out with me." she said straight-up without trying to cover the fact that she was being really immature and rude and she could see the expression on my face that I was taken aback. This was just the first time, it happened many times. One time these group of girls were talking suddenly asked me "why r u so quiet?" and all i could do was smile, inside i was dieing. Another time, before my exam started all these students were talking and enjoying while i was studying and i wanted to talk to but i was too nervous and continued to read my material and one student comes up and says "why dont u talk? u should talk!", in result I got lesser marks in my exams cuz i couldnt stop thinking of that statement. I remember all the days I used to go home and cry, cover up my sadness at sschool and not tell anybody about how i feel, not even to my parents. Although I don't cry as much now like i did in my previous year, (i still do feel sad but quickly recover after i understand the situation and get support from my online friends) it still hurts like hell, but i realized thankful to all the experiences i had, I become more stronger and just didn't care about other's opinions. Even the part where my friend leaves me, it devastated me, but after re-thinking I realized i shouldn't beat myself up for it. I stopped talking to her, and during lunch break she was the one who came to me and said "hey lets hang out" and I had the courage to say "no sorry, im too quiet right?" and then she just stood there for a few secs and left. Lol, i wrote a whole paragraph on how i feel, but i've just learned to accept who I am as a person.
I'm a extrovert with social anxiety
so I understand a lot of the things that you said
I really like talking to people, but I get so nervous, is really frustanting
in 2 days is my graduation, and I have to give a speech
I've been practicing for a week now and I still don't feel ready
last time I spoke in front of people I cried so much
I was shaking a lot and I almost fainted
I don't know how to just talk
I think so much about it
I very much understand where you're coming from, because i can relate.
My former congregation helped me to make myself more bold. I gave bible readings, and talks in front of the whole congregation. But i started off with just the B school, which was just a small fraction of the congregation.
will you have a paper that you will be reading from? try to concentrate just on the paper and in reading the words. i'm not good at public speaking but the times i've done it i've been so nervous beforehand, but find that once i'm in the moment it's not as bad as i thought in my head! just try to be positive and think to yourself that you will do AMAZING! GOOD LUCK! 💜
Being quiets nothing to be ashamed of. I'm shy but talkative in front of my friends and family
I am a quiet person, not because I'm shy but because I want to be more conscious about the words that I am uttering. I've learned from experience that not saying much still has more benefits than saying too much.
I relate.
When I was in Elementary school, a long time ago, I remember there was a teacher, that taught us about values, morality, etc, everybody loved her, and indeed, she was very sweet and kind, I liked her too. But this teacher one day at the morning, when we all had a reunion for daily announcements and other things, she passed at the escenario and started to speak, saying that she’s seen a lot of students eating alone, and that she wanted everyone to cooperate and “Help” this shy people and since she was very loved, everyone started acting right away. At the time I was at 3rd grade, I was so shy, it was my second year at that school, and I’ve managed to get one friend, but she was very extroverted, and I generally just walked away for her to be with her other 9 or more friends (not a lie, I’m serious, she had that much) so I ate alone as well, and it was soooo awkward for everyone to ask you 3 times per week if you wanted to eat with them. One day, this teacher was saying this dialogue as usual, but what changed was that she added: “if they don’t want to, you don’t have to force them” and I was like:
Oh thank god. The amount of people asking decreased.
Something I didn’t like about it was the fact that they only started doing it when the teacher asked them to, so probably more than the 70% weren’t doing it totally genuinely, and that she didn’t make herself clear since the start, they never forced me to eat with them, but maybe some did. She should’ve said that since the start
I like talking to people, but my shyness is that even though I Wana say something I fear people is looking at me and even though I talk people wouldn't hear me, because I wasn't speaking loud enough. That video is really helpful. I thought I was only one like that
it's such an alien concept to people who aren't introvert, i had to practice to get better at trying to interact with others and it took soooo long to get to a point where i can talk with people i don't know without feeling like i'm going to burst, and still i respond if i'm engaged with, i don't think i've ever engaged with a stranger which is nuts. It's so weird how people can't understand that you can be quiet lol.
true i don't think i've ever willingly talked to a stranger (unless to tell them if they dropped something or something like that). an ideal 5 star uber ride for me is one where the only words spoken are "hello" and "thank you" lol
@@cinemoni the dream ahahaha
Honestly I don't know what I'm shy, introvert or anxious person. I'm feeling so down now a days when I was in school I thought I'll be more confident in college but it didn't happen now I'm going to graduate from university in few months and started my first job but I'm still the same person. I hate when ppl ask me, "why you are so quiet?" I'm really bad in communication. Honestly it's my job probation period and they want a more out spoken, confident person. Sometimes I just think the world is not for me I want to run so far away from everyone.
Same here I too wanna runaway from this daily exhaustion...smtimes I feel good talking to ppl but not with everyone. I worry all the time thinking of my condition ..I feel everyone else is living their best lives and am just trying hard to survive here. I tried being extrovert but then I failed .I terrified meeting my schoolmates .I hate it .
I also used to think about everything I said obsessively before speaking. That's your brain being overly logical and making a natural process more difficult than it shpuld be. Its called scripting. Its very common with people with social anxiety. Its best to practice mindfulness and being in the moment and stop scripting. CBT for social anxiety teaches that.
You’re so gorgeous, and I totally relate
I'd consider myself an introvert, because I become really quite when I'm with people that I'm not very close to. But I can also be an extrovert whenever I'm with my close friends and I even say jokes or is always in the spotlight when I'm with them. I guess it just depends on who I am with. I can also be extremely shy, although I will always say what I want to say especially in class or if I want to say something to someone. Whenever I'm so confident about being outspoken or showing myself in front of a crowd, I'd really get embarrassed and regretful right after. Confused- that's how I feel about my whole personality. Maybe I'm not the only one or am I?
Wait me too ,that happened to me too 😄
Sometimes I put effort to talk in groups and end up saying someone awkward and stupid. I prefer to be quite most the time, hard to be. A good talker.
Same
I never related to any video, anyone, anything that MUCH. oh my god.
loved that Video and feeling more understood now!
Thanks for sharing your story. I am 21, and I still wonder if i am an introvert, or I am just too shy.
I prefer been alone, and very quiet to the point where whenever I open my mouth, words hardly come out. But when I text, it flows.
This has been the reason why I started learning graphics designing, and coding.
Though I am glad I finally mastered those skills because of my nature, but I still would love to be able to speak up with people, and tell them about the business I am building, and my skills.
I hope one day, I mature to the point where I will be able to talk in front of a crowd fearlessly, and boldly.
I hate how most videos on TH-cam about introverts tell you how to STOP BEING ONE, as if it was a problem. I wanted to change this about me for the longest time and just lately realized i love this about my self and want to embrace it in all its beauty, even though it's very difficult to be understood or meet friends with similar behavior. Anyway stay strong introvert community 💪
girl i can relate with you. so much. i'm an introvert, and i've always been a timid girl since i was young. i'm really quiet and i think most people are intimidated by that. many people are passive and awkward towards me whenever they are with me, and that's what really makes me conscious, and i'm someone who cares a lot about what other people would think about me. but when i do talk or say what's on my mind, people ignore me. like-- i knew it, it's better if i keep quiet, no one listens anyway. i also hate small talks, it's making things more awkward. and it's really hard for me to socialize, especially in an extroverted society. ugh i just, i wish someone would understand me personally as much as how i understood you, haha
I can relate to every word you said. I hate being quiet it makes me feel so weird about myself. Once i remember my teacher saying to me "you are so quiet that your very presence cannot be felt in the class", still i didn't say anything.
literally every single thing you said and shared about being a teen happened to me, I was saying to me self "I can relate",. "this is me" so many times and sometimes even out loud.
It was nice to hear that you felt better about yourself as you grew up, im Currently 23 and thinking about how shy and quiet I was really makes me sad because Ive been told that by not talking and not standing up for yourself you are missing so much of life, I always knew that this was not the case for me, I do enjoy being alone because it helps me focus on the things I want and plan to do but I also enjoy being surrounded by friends.
As for now I am more than able to speak for myself when it comes to my native language, I actually having trouble speaking English with others, being in all this covid situation really expanded my online friends list, I always considered my English to be decent enough to be understood by others, passed classes without any problems as well Uni English test but when it comes to speaking up I find it really hard.
For the past month ive been expanding my English practices, tried to engage conversation with closer friends or family members and read a bunch of materials out loud but I still dont feel ready or confident enough with my voice, Im starting to realize that maybe my English is not the main problem but I still suffer from being quiet type of person - which I still am without a doubt.
Guess I still have a long path to walk
i am so fucking sensitive i started crying while watching this lol
Hello. I’m a teenager and I do feel many emotions. I struggle in overthinking in simple situations. I’m quiet and I do care what other people think of me sometimes but I don’t like that. Although I am brave whenever I build up my courage when I need to. I might think of myself as shy but I do believe I’m brave too. For example, I’m brave enough to comment in the comment section. Watching your video made me realize that I can be hopeful in always being myself and feeling motivated in being who I am. Just want to say thank you for making this video. Btw I love your taste in films!
Thank you for this video,I am feeling bad,and kind of overwhelmed with sad thoughts lately,also judging myself too harshly for being shy,quiet,this video is helping me feel better
Oh my ! Thank goodness you are sharing your experience as a shy kid . Sometimes I felt as if I'm the only person with this LeVeL of shyness , but now I'm not alone and realized people here have the same problem . Don't worry dear people , we all are amazing even if nobody likes our beautiful personality .
I can’t thank you enough for this video, I can definitely relate to every single word. It made me feel like I’m not alone and being shy isn’t necessarily bad
hi!! i just want u to know that everything u said, i relate to all of them. i didnt even think that someone shares the same experience as me when ppl tell me " why are u so quiet?" all the time and the fact that if i ever speak up they will feel weird at the same time when i dont speak at all. i thought i was alone and felt insecure abt it but now i feel comfortable. thanks for sharing ur story! ik im not the only one now who feels like this and speaking abt this personal stuff is rlly hard and im so proud of you! ( let me also add that the reason i first subscribed to u bc i want to be a filmmaker omg )
I totally can relate. It doesn’t happen as much now but “why are you so quiet” used to be my least favorite words. Recently there was a small group discussion with a mini presentation at the end and everyone in my group was pretty loud and confident. The whole time I kept trying to get myself to say something. Anything. For some reason I couldn’t. And I had a part I needed to discuss so I knew what to present. It wasn’t until the last minute that I said something small and everyone just said “ok sure!”. And then I felt super dumb for not being able to say a single word until the end. This hadn’t happened this intensely in years. Probably not since early high school and I’m in college now. I drove home crying too haha. Also because..emotions lol. Thanks for talking about this! It makes me feel less weird
sorry to hear that 💜 sometimes i feel like some days are worse than others. there are days where i feel very confident and i can speak to anyone and be super friendly and outspoken (although it's rare lol) but there are days where i feel super shy as well. don't worry! it was just a bad day and better days will come!
“why are you so quiet” used to be my least favorite words.😂
I understand your pain💕 it's ok I'm also shy and introverted💛
Being a shy and introverted teenager literally sucks. As I have gotten older and gotten out of high school it is not a problem for me that much anymore. The question "why are you so quiet" just makes me so angry because people genuinely can not understand what it's like to just not know what to say when you first meet someone.
You're so pretty fr
I feel so similar to how you did when you were a teen, I am very quiet and reserved. I avoid speaking in fear of what people will think about me, and I know people say ‘ don’t worry about what other’s think’, but it is not that easy. My brain is constantly thinking of different things that could happen if I was more outspoken.
I also have a youtube channel, not many subscribers but I have made a great little community and some great friends! Being online is like an escape for me, since it is the only place I feel like I can be myself. Around people online I feel much more confident and I can say things and make videos without the same fear I get in real life.
I also used to love performing and singing in front of all my friends and family when I was younger, but now I just cannot because I am so worried about what they will think of me, even though they are family!
It seems horrible to be so shy and quiet now, but I will take my time to build confidence and I still love who I am, because I’m kind, a good listener and empathetic. I know people judge me because I don’t talk much, but as long as I continue to love who I am it’s all that matters, and I’m taking my time figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life :)
Love this video! I’m the same. I’m little less now that I’m older, but in school people thought I couldn’t talk.
thanks Lauren! me too, now that i've been out of school for years i realized it truly didn't matter what people thought about me
Hi Monika. thanks for sharing your experience being shy/quiet and such. I used to be that way for most of my life as well and this video really brought me back to the memories I have of my old self. I'm 21 now and the past year I feel like I've really grown more confident and I gotta say that it's because I put myself in situations where I had to constantly meet and talk to new people. I got a job as a cashier, and along with my co-op in uni, I was exposed to a lot of verbal communication. After the most interactively intense year of my life, I feel like I've gotten a lot more confident and outspoken. For anyone reading this, there is hope and it's really just about facing your fears! It takes time and effort but if you really want to not give a shit what people think of you, it's worth the hard work xD.
Now when people ask why I'm dying my hair different colours in my 20s when most people go through that "phase" in their teens...I know its because I'm just more confident in myself and don't care as much what people think...as opposed to before. It makes me happy and causes no harm to anyone, therefore I will do it :)
Confidence makes all the difference. For those of us that aren't naturally confident, it will take practice, getting to know yourself, and also gaining perspective. Seeing things from another person's perspective can allow understanding between people. It can be seeing that those that judge you or ask you questions that may come off rude might just simply not know and have been conditioned by their parents/relatives and society in general that you should be a certain way. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and let them learn.
By always keeping an open mind and think this way (from a 3rd person perspective albeit) it distances yourself from the situation and gives you perspective...and helps you to let go of the fear. Seriously. TRY IT. IT WORKS.
If even one person finds this helpful, I just wanna say you rock and go get em xD. Thank you.
I am going through this right now! And I'm so glad I found this video. Lots of the louder people I know will always say "Just have confidence" or "What's so hard about talking", and I would hate myself for being quiet, when it is actually okay to be quiet. I once cried for a few hours because I hated myself for being so quiet. I thought that I am just not social enough, but that's not the case. I am just drained if energy if I try to talk like a loud person, so if you make me talk for a while, my voice will become kinda weird.
Yes I can relate - thanks for sharing, sometimes the details of introvert’s lives are portrayed as quite painful when going back and really examining. I’m 40 now adult make and still deal with shyness but as you said , it’s not a curse. It would be a loud, strange , scary place without us introverts here thinking and analyzing and always listening.
I feel like I went through exactly the same thing growing up. I hated when people would ask me “why are you so quiet?” because I never knew how to respond and I would just get all red and it made me feel like i was stuck in a box, like if that’s who I was supposed to be and was going to be all my life. I hated it when ppl pointed it out, but there was one time in 4th grade when it really got to me. I had this teacher that would point it out all the time to make the class laugh and one day she was making seating charts for a field trip we were going on. Then she said “It doesn’t matter where Carolina sits because it’ll be like she’s not even there.” I felt everyone staring at me but it looked like even my classmates understood she had crossed the line. It felt so horrible. There was a teacher there that didn’t even know me and defended me a little. I had to fight so hard to hold back tears. And that was the day my self hatred began, at just 10 years old🙃 I still struggle with being shy but I’ve grown since then. I think it’s important for other people to know that shy people are people too and asking or saying things like that might affect them more than you think.
In my senior year of high school, I was in a creative writing class. At the end of the semester the teacher wrote a poem for the class and every student got a line written about them. Mine was “Jason sat in silence, he had no words to waste.” He knew I had words; I completed every writing assignment.
I still think about that 33 years later.
I HAVE FELT LIFE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.
I also experience anxiety when it comes to college and going into architecture and presentations and stuff but I've been working on it and its still nerve racking but life has taught me so much about my power and my abilities.
Thanks for talking about this.
All that you are saying is exactly what happens to me and I've been struggling with it all my life. You are right, people don't let you enjoy your being quiet. I am just like you.
After watching this video, I feel that I'm not alone anymore cuz I actually thought that I was the only person in the world who is super super shy and introverted. And I also like art!!!
My whole teenage years in 12 minutes!
I just found your channel and I'm so happy that I did. I feel like I'm listening to myself. I think I finally found my twin sister. I understand you perfectly. I'm subscribing to all the shy people out there. I support you 100%.
I just recently started high school a few months ago and it's been a total pain in the ass as the awkward, unathletic, and quiet kid who never really participates in class. Growing up as that same kid just always made me feel like some sort of rusty robot that's nearly wrecked. Desperately trying to keep its machinery working without any help. And I totally get you especially with those comments like ''you speak?". Personally I've also gotten comments related with my emotions, like ''oh you smile too?" it just really drags me down even more like what you said with your own experience. I wanted to make a change but I messed it up again by making the same perception of me that most people have. It makes me feel as if it will be the only thing I'll ever be known for in life. That's not the first time I've thought of that. I overthink how things would go so much to the point that it's all I waste my time on instead of actually doing something to make a change.
I ace subjects like an average student and yet I still feel like the most incompetent due to my lack of practically everything that society wants to consider someone a ''normal'' human being.
If I had a nickel every time I heard that, I'd be ric- well, well off with inflation.
It's a slow progression for me, I feel like I get better as time goes on, better may not be the best word, I have accepted my quietness, yet I want to get better at speaking when I do want/need to speak.
i relate so much to this !! i am 15 now and i feel like i'm changing and i'm slowly becaming less shy
i was definitely a lot more shy like 2 years ago than i am now but i still care a lot about what people think and it's so hard to just not care about it :( but even tho i'm still an introvert i'm a little more confident now and that makes me really happy :D
love from portugal
I love you for speaking about this. I get it. I was quiet growing up because of anxiety I got from abuse. I was judged very harshly for everything which stifled a lot of my social growth. I was a very social kid and I talked a lot but knowing how many eyes were on me and that I'd be picked on for just being a normal kid really got to me so I thought it'd stop if I didn't speak. I thought I was more valuable as a person if I was quiet and agreeable. I still struggle with these feelings but now I'm loud and hyperactive and a bit annoying. I'm a natural leader in friend groups and I'm less of the mom friend and more of the rough big sister. It's hard speaking up but you can learn. It's okay to be introverted and a bit shy but don't ever be insecure. The less you speak the more important what you'll have to say will be. Being reserved makes you come across as polite and respectful and it makes others feel more comfortable confiding in you. Don't worry, you've got this thing called socializing! Just believe in yourself.
i hate that i always cry whenever people points out that i am so quiet. i want to love myself but those people tho. i know that im doing progress since i was in elementary school and now im in college, i kinda know how to make some conversations to people but sometimes my head is like empty and i dont have anything to say. and people who still points that out to me until TODAY, they hinders me from improving myself. they are making it like a bad thing. i badly want to change myself because of this. tbh im so quiet only in my family
I usually analize my actions before making them and still analize them After I make them, even if it's been weeks or months ago
I often feel very nervous when I'm going to say something a crowd of people needs to listen since it's important and I stutter
My voice gets really small when talking to others and not when I'm alone at home
My face gets red when I feel embarassed and when I don't know how to react to certain things or situations
I smile a lot when talking to others because I don't want them to think I don't like them or look like a mean person, I wanna make a good impression
I struggle saying what I think and feel
Being shy is kind of exhausting! But I'm always doing my best, gotta keep moving forward!