15 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s 🧠

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 908

  • @lavendaire
    @lavendaire  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    ✨ Ready to transform your life in 2025? ✨ The Artist of Life Workbook is your personal guide to setting goals, finding clarity, and creating the life you want. Start your journey here: lavendaire.com/workbook 🌟

  • @divyal8047
    @divyal8047 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1473

    I am 22 and so lost! I can't sit, sleep, eat, drink without thinking what I want to do in my life. Anxious all the time. Weird chest pains, deep breathing the entire day. This video came at a perfect time and it really helped. I feel at ease
    (Edit: It's been 3 months now & time really heals everything. I'm not lost anymore. I found a purpose & maybe it's temporary but I'm in a better place now. Let it pass)

  • @not__yours6523
    @not__yours6523 2 ปีที่แล้ว +320

    I am 20, and I am happy to know that it is not only me who is scared of future!..and anxious as well.. I am focused on my career but continuously failing, I literally don't have friends to chill out with, neither I go out of my home!..this silence kills me inside.

    • @alaaunicorn
      @alaaunicorn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I hope that you will find good friends to share and spend time with❤

    • @JennLinsi
      @JennLinsi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks for being so vulnerable! If you’re interested, my entire YT channel is dedicated to supporting 20-somethings with personal development content to help you learn how to love your life… no matter what kind of ups & downs you might be experiencing. All the best to you!😊

    • @mariyamlajporia7032
      @mariyamlajporia7032 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same situation as mine

    • @violets6304
      @violets6304 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Aaaahhh yes

    • @kembla8
      @kembla8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same here

  • @khalilahd.
    @khalilahd. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +848

    As someone who just turned 25 I relate to this video so much. This is the period of time where we are supposed to know what we’re supposed to be doing but I love that you make a point to say it’s okay to be lost or still figuring it out because there is no end destination in life. There is only constant growth 💜

    • @meredithkoh2128
      @meredithkoh2128 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Turning 25 in a few days but I’ve been in a deep hole feeling super lost for months 🥲

    • @giialiinh
      @giialiinh 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      why do i see you everywhere omg

    • @aiza6113
      @aiza6113 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      25 🙋🏻‍♀️

    • @aichablel7310
      @aichablel7310 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here

    • @hope-ky5od
      @hope-ky5od 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@giialiinh same I've seen her commenting on Tatiana videos

  • @avneet2.0
    @avneet2.0 2 ปีที่แล้ว +429

    The pressure of having everything figured out is what stops us from exploring things that we might actually enjoy! I've been in this phase of trying new things without a reason and it's honestly so liberating! :)

    • @WoodyJ98
      @WoodyJ98 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly. There’s nothing wrong too with just making money while figuring it out.
      I work at a manufacturing plant and it pays decent. Its not what I want to do forever, but at least I still have freedom. There’s definitely still time to learn and do something better

  • @heysabo
    @heysabo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +369

    Man I love that.
    "Follow your curiosity vs your passion. "
    Your passion is something that you've already been exposed to vs your curiosity being quiter like a baby flame.
    Love how you put it! The imagery helps with connecting the dots :)
    Thank you Aileen for this advice!

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      happy it helped! 😍

  • @SweetAsElle
    @SweetAsElle 2 ปีที่แล้ว +136

    I’m turning 28 next week and I still have no idea what I’m doing with my life… and that’s ok! If going through my 20s during the pandemic has taught me anything, it’s that curiosity and vision will carry you through. No matter what job/ opportunities I think I lost, there’s always something internally leading you where you need to go.

  • @ankitadas2762
    @ankitadas2762 2 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I'm 24 and trying to figure out things happening in my life. Feeling lost and comparing myself with others. But I am trying to manage and love myself. And I know I can be there where I meant to be 😊

    • @Neeeshaa23
      @Neeeshaa23 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same Here Luv… Trust Me Your Not Alone. 💯

  • @haphuong1322
    @haphuong1322 2 ปีที่แล้ว +191

    Really love the sentence "this is the time you have less to lose" that makes me feel less scared about what I'm gonna do. I quit my job and focus on learning Korean with a hope that I could work as a Korean translator. Maybe I will be happy with my choice, or also will be not, but who knows. Just because I could do as I wish now, I will never regret what I did no matter what happened in the future.

    • @Taynkeeper
      @Taynkeeper 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same here. I just turned 20 and I just lose my job which supports me and my study. That phrase comforts me the most right now. Compared to other people, I don't have much to lose taking risk and taking new paths. ❤️

    • @toadhehe3281
      @toadhehe3281 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey how's your study going?

    • @kuichihavorra935
      @kuichihavorra935 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      How did it go?

  • @makoy2984
    @makoy2984 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I like that, "If you have no passion follow your curiosity."

  • @ryushizu17
    @ryushizu17 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1437

    0:44 1) Nobody knows what they're doing
    3:26 2) Take your biggest risks when you're young
    4:27 3) Think long term and have a big picture goal
    6:33 4) Nobody cares about you as much as you think they do
    8:19 5) Recognize and release your need for external validation
    9:27 6) Learn to be your authentic self
    11:08 7) Follow your curiosity and your fear
    13:41 8) Take action
    15:16 9) Stop being so hard on yourself
    16:45 10) Embrace the struggles
    18:05 11) Your purpose reveals itself to you over time
    19:28 12) The power of compounding
    21:14 13) Learn about money
    23:20 14) Don't compare your path to others'
    24:13 15) Trust the journey

    • @anganan7349
      @anganan7349 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      you're such a big help!!

    • @SoulRealTV
      @SoulRealTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol i wish i learned all this when i was a teenager!!!

    • @bluewintr
      @bluewintr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks 😘

    • @NicoleBernadette
      @NicoleBernadette 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you❤️

    • @RadiatingHigher
      @RadiatingHigher 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much for this video! It was so on point. 🙏🏼

  • @Its_tinydiamond
    @Its_tinydiamond 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    Just a solid "thank you" from the bottom of my heart.
    22(almost23), lost the last 2 and a half years due to amental and physical health issue.
    People left. My nursing degree isn't what i truly wanted. Part timer worker. Small salary. Heath issue. Stressed and nostalgic. Currently Doing things i love and accepting life's challenges to grow. But i don't know where to start, what's the right path for me.
    I thought i wasted my uni years for nothing. And I'm tired of studying more..and i don't even know if it Worths my time to do so...
    To all the lost souls out there. May we find our way out of the dark.✨🌻🙏

    • @janeth3187
      @janeth3187 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Oh mu gosh are we the same person!!!!?????? Literally SAME. But im 23. I graduate nursing school in December and i hate it. Don’t want to be a nurse anymore. Idk what i want.

    • @Its_tinydiamond
      @Its_tinydiamond 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@janeth3187 you're not alone!!Lost AF:/

    • @orihimekoga
      @orihimekoga 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      SAME 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😱😱
      When you feell like failing is a taboo 😭😭😥

    • @SimiiiD_
      @SimiiiD_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm 22 going to be 23 in a month and same as you I graduated from nursing school 3 months ago. I feel the exact same the way you do. I don't wanna be a nurse but I also don't know what I wanna do apart from that :( atleast I feel better seeing this comment understanding that I'm not the only one. I hope everything works out well for us🌷

  • @soniakhalid3202
    @soniakhalid3202 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    A few things: 1) I watched one of your videos months ago and signed up for betterhelp. I've been seeing my therapist for 7 months now, and my ideas of self-worth and developing healthy boundaries have immensely improved! Betterhelp's customer service is phenomenal, and I utilize their financial aid options. They really do their best to take care of you.
    2) Describing how curiosity is this small flame and like bread crumbs was eye opening to me. Another piece of advice that resonated with me was following your fears because you're afraid of something because you care about it a lot. I've been putting off making a decision to attend graduate school because I'm afraid of this next step, but I didn't realize it was because I cared about it that the fear of messing up has been holding me back.
    Thank you so much for this video! I'm glad I found it, and I really really needed to hear this today.

  • @ruveawanda
    @ruveawanda 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    These advice also applies in my 30's, im 32 and still navigating life like a 20's. I'm being hard on myself and now I release and let go.

  • @herexcellency4304
    @herexcellency4304 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    my golden rule is treat yourself just like u treat others, just like you are compassionate, giving, kind and loving to others, do it to urself as well

  • @foxc.42
    @foxc.42 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I'm 24. As someone who struggles with mental health and feeling lost. Love how u touch upon mental health like depression and social anxiety.
    Thank you! 🧡

  • @sharscookinglab5615
    @sharscookinglab5615 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I am 24 and I have been so hard on myself for not finding my passion in life, and constantly looking for ways just to end up being even more stressed. Thank you for making me realize how we suppose to follow our curiosity instead of directly jump into finding our "passion", you present it in the clearest and most beautiful way it can be. Love your beautiful soul ❤️

  • @dedereem5454
    @dedereem5454 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I'm 25 and having trouble letting go of my stable life to follow the "things that light me up" since it calls for me leaving my hometown and living in the city. I know it'll be best for me but I'm afraid to leave my family and that I won't make enough money to survive on my own. However, if I don't take the risk now I'll just sit here in regret and never know if its where I'm meant to go.. Another advice you gave was "No one cares as much as you think" I compromise a lot for others so this really was something I needed to hear.
    Thank you Aileen so much for making these vids, they really are like therapy and help so much when I'm feeling lost or stressed💗

  • @haishaaai
    @haishaaai 2 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    I just turned 26, and this is video is so comforting. I already related once you started with tip #1. i was a new grad at the start of the pandemic, and like you, I couldn't be okay without a plan set for every day after four years of studying in college. I was rushing myself to move on to the next "achievement", but the pandemic has taught me to slow down and pace myself. Though I'm still trying to go through this journey, I'm a lot more gentle with myself compared to my early 20's. Thank you for this!

    • @AnHichiko
      @AnHichiko 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I relate a lot with your comment... I'm turning 25 this year and it feels just like you said !! Thank you for sharing.

  • @gurleen7041
    @gurleen7041 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    the “people don’t care about you as much as you think you do” is such an important, peaceful lesson to learn.
    i recently had a really bad injury and got stitches on my face and broke my nose. my best friend kept telling me she really wanted to see me but every time we made plans she said something came up. at first i was so angry with her, i mean i’m injured and if she was in this situation, i would’ve seen her ASAP.
    however, i quickly realized she does have her own life. she has her own issues and situations and honestly unless i was on my deathbed, i don’t think my injuries crossed her mind after a day or two. now while i was mad, i think realizing and accepting i can’t force someone to care about me the way i want them too is more freeing. i don’t hate her. if i did have hugh expectations of her i would’ve hated her for not seeing me

    • @edele24ballet
      @edele24ballet 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🙀💦 I don't know you, but I sincerely hope you recover really soon! I don't know your friend either, but it could be that she's shocked and isn't confident she could act the right way to comfort or help you... Afraid of saying the wrong thing, acting the wrong way...? Whatever is going through her mind, you're totally right that each person has his/her things to deal with. You're smart for even attempting to detach a little.. Idk how I would've responded 😿 (I did have someone text and call me after I just came out of the hospital from an emergency surgery.. But the person was complaining it was his birthday and that I hadn't celebrated it.. Uh, good for him he was going about his normal life 😹)

    • @gurleen7041
      @gurleen7041 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@edele24ballet thank you, love! honestly both my close friends aren't the best with comfort haha so i try not to hold it against them! and thank you i really appreciate your sentiment :(( its been hard but i always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume anything because honestly ive been on the opposite of the same situation - it can be hard to see people even if you really want to.
      and omg i cant believe your situation!! are you still friends with that person?

    • @edele24ballet
      @edele24ballet 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@gurleen7041 Giving people the benefit of doubt is a wonderful practice! When my dad's sister was hospitalized for a serious brain condition, most of the family didn't show up at the hospital, so his sister's daughter was hurt, thinking they didn't care.. (Her mother was in a coma..) Actually, most of the family were too devastated that they couldn't show up.. They must've felt so powerless.. My emergency surgery was 20 years ago 🐾💝 I felt right then and there we couldn't possibly stay friends 😹 Now I do think he really trusted me in a special way, relied on me, but just wasn't mature enough to be considerate of my health.. In his mind he wasn't trying to be cruel, but simply thought I should always be taking care of him.. Yeah, I feel he saw me as a superwoman! Though I was a regular human, weak and in pain 😿 Thank you for asking 💕

  • @punodelgato9001
    @punodelgato9001 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This video was truly calming. I'm 28 and last year I battled a brain tumor. It ravaged my body and took things from me I won't ever get back. But I realized at 28 that the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" isn't the full story. In reality, what tries to kill you can bring out who you really are. You are the sum pf every thing you ever chose to do, every risk you took, good decision, bad decision, and everything you chose to believe. And in a moment where you stand toe to toe with fate, the real you steps forward, the part of you that isn't what society, everyone else, or your own expectations wanted you to be.
    I am proud to say that even on days where I didn't know if I was going to make it, I looked back at all the uncertainties and was not burdened by regret.
    As a young guy, I always thought to myself "why did I say that?," "Why did I quit/get fired from that job?," "was doing all that worth it," and so on. If wonder why I didn't break off that relationship or why I didn't pursue such and such opportunity.
    But I still lived a full life. I finished my education despite people saying I was too dumb to do it. I made AMAZING friends and connections with others despite growing up and being taught I wasn't worthy. I fought in the ring as a Muay Yhai fighter, seeing myself at my mental and physical best. Then I started working st the health department, doing so well that I was promoted several times and I feel I've found my calling. I learned to be selfish in order to love myself and help others, only then was I at my best.
    I look back at those past mistakes I made with bad judgment, low self-esteem, and ignorance. And I realize those mistakes happened because I was TRYING to live well. And here I am, alive and beating the odds. I wasn't satisfied with simply existing, I was willing to do what many young people are too scared and egotistical to do - take risks and fail if you have to. As unfair and unexpected as it all was, I am coming to terms with knowing I don't have an answer as to why it happened. I still have myself to rely on answer or not, that matters most.
    All and all I'm still in a bit of a conundrum about what to do next, although I am moving to a new city right after I complete my first marathon. I've lost most of my hearing, have vision problems, and still contend with the mental health diagnoses I was given at 20. Thankfully, I've been going to therapy for years, always put my health first, am learning sign language, and my once unshakeable confidence has returned.
    Lesson learned, we've all come a long way even in times when we didn't know the answer. But I think we'd all be surprised what we could pull off, if we just believed we deserve a chance to try.
    Thank you so much for this video. Like right now I'm in a difficult mood hence why I'm looking at videos like this, but wow. You did a great job. Kudos to you! Subscribed.

  • @mjop183
    @mjop183 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I just turned 25 and I’m feeling so lost. So glad I came across your video ❤️

  • @xliu6848
    @xliu6848 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    sharing with you who wanna take notes💙
    1. nobody knows what they are doing
    2. take your biggest risks when you are young
    3. have a big picture of life
    4. nobody cares as much as you think they do
    5. recognize and release external validation
    6. learn to be your authentic self
    7. follow your curiosity and fear
    8. take action
    9. stop being so hard on yourself
    10. embrace the struggles
    11. finding your purpose
    12. the power of compounding
    13. learn about money
    14. don't compare your path to others
    15. trust your journey

  • @erinsymone1645
    @erinsymone1645 2 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    Girl I hope you are making a video about navigating your 30s next because I literally feel 29 going on 19 - in the worst way. It's like my early 20s drained all of my youthful vigor and ambition out of me and I've been legit floating in place for the last 3 years, no clue what to do next (the global panini is also a part of that but that's the case for everyone i think). I so admire your channel growth and business you've built for yourself - so I know you've got that good advice lol

    • @annieswanson9661
      @annieswanson9661 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Erin, I’m in the same boat as you. Most of my friends are more or less feeling the same. We have to stay positive and manifest our dreams. Stay strong sister - our 30s will be better :)

    • @heyheyvicky1498
      @heyheyvicky1498 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Same, I feel like I wasted my 20s and now want at least to do better in my 30s, but the world is sooo crazy right now and all my friends are getting children and although I know that is not the path for me, I feel like I'm doing something wrong all the time :/ And the increasing pains makes me anxious of getting old😐

    • @j12barron
      @j12barron 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I can relate to this. Left a toxic relationship over a year ago and going on 34. I’m focusing on getting my life together. Lots to catch up on 😌

    • @kbucket
      @kbucket 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      100% feel the same as you. I'm 28 and Idk how I got here, I feel like I wasted the best years of my life waiting for something to happen

  • @김정연-t3q
    @김정연-t3q 2 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I'm in my 40s and I relate to this one so much! Life is so much about learning to embrace uncertainties.

  • @F0reverblessed
    @F0reverblessed 2 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    Your 20s it’s definitely your PRIME time!! Explore, try new things and rediscover yourself. You don’t have to remain the same. Always, remember that this is YOUR life and it’s all about what you want not what others want or expect of you! 🤍
    From a self love content creator to another; great topic Aileen! 💜

    • @WoodyJ98
      @WoodyJ98 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I think 30’s can definitely be a prime time as well. I agree punting your life to your 30’s isn’t good, but you don’t have to reinvent the wheel by 29.
      In many ways, life can be exponentially better in the 30’s

    • @F0reverblessed
      @F0reverblessed 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@WoodyJ98 Yess! You should do whatever YOU feel is right at any age!!

  • @destinymcmillan255
    @destinymcmillan255 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Thank you so much for this video. I am 22, and I'm struggling. I don't know what I want to do with my life. My anxiety is all over the place. Listening to your tips made me feel some peace about myself. ❤💓

  • @MunkQoo
    @MunkQoo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Stepping outside of my comfort zone is something I never regret. Needed this 💖

  • @haileyhnin1922
    @haileyhnin1922 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    7) Follow your curiosity and fear
    This tip hit me. As Aileen said, I don't have a burning passion. My fear is the criticism from others. That's why I have difficulty expressing myself and my opinions. And I'm feeling lost in my 24, not knowing where to go the path ahead. This video really helps me a lot. Thank you so much, Aileen. I love you.

    • @ozoonfilm497
      @ozoonfilm497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      wishing you all the best 😊

    • @adnan-1462
      @adnan-1462 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am also in my path on dealing with criticism from others. it hard to stay positive when people gives me an opinion. hopes i could get this through very soon

  • @Piedrodeororoca
    @Piedrodeororoca 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love how she included her feelings and being honesty open about the mental breakdowns we go through

  • @caric8133
    @caric8133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I learned that recently it’s true, no one cares about you. Not in a bad way but career, job title, etc. I was recently in a horrific, toxic and miserable job but I had a cool title. I felt for a long time I had to keep staying in that misery because of what others thought. I finally realized it’s my life and too short to be miserable, doing something I hated. It was very freeing and liberating when I finally quit and starting living my life for me.

  • @novycrysteemallorca267
    @novycrysteemallorca267 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Im 21, 3rd year college taking up medical technology. I failed 1 prerequisite subject now i have to reenroll it and wait for 1 year before my internship🥺😔. I feel drained and tired I'm loosing interest with my chosen course. At the same time I'll disappoint my parents who's expecting me to finish my course on time😔And I don't know what to do anymore. But thank you for giving me some hope to remain strong and for reminding me that it is ok not to know all of the answers, its ok to fail. And that i just have to believe in myself than seek external validation💜

  • @shaheenbeeharry7449
    @shaheenbeeharry7449 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Now at the tail end of my twenties (turning 29 next month) I resonate a lot with this video. Being gentle with yourself, following your curiosity, steering with the flow, leaning into your intuition etc. It's important to recognize that we all have different starting points in life (i.e. structure vs. agency) and we're all on different timelines. Videos on hyperproductivity compound my anxiety and existing feelings of worthlessness. I really appreciated this video. Thank you

    • @sandeep10
      @sandeep10 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      hope you are convinced with what you said- we're all on diff timelines! then any video on hyperprod or worthlessness question shouldn't be a concern- isn't it?
      and to add to ur comment- at times results are dislocated in times and not exactly the same we wished/worked for- still appreciable/ not worthless- and what is so important about hyperprod that is even equal our worth ? we need to know urself/ get our priorities right & clear ! i think so.. all the best..

  • @Kittyravenhog
    @Kittyravenhog 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    1, Follow my fear and my curiosity . That is right, we are young, many of us have no children yet, we are kinda care free and don't have much too lose. 2, Nobody thinks of me more than some seconds before they get back with their own thoughts and self concern. It is SO TRUE . We are just humans, we selfishly🤣 have so many thoughts of our own look, purposes,.. that need to be figured out, how could we think about other people ( although of course we love our families, friends and care of them). 3, Let go perfectionism because I am the best with my own flow. I was crazy about perfectionism and it did hurt so much my mental health, caused me more unnecessary tasks to do . The point was I could NOT see it was a problem in order to give up on it, as a terribly harmful habit. My confession is I am NOT that fast learning, not that smart. But I see beauties in things and understand stuffs, so I don't need to be straight A of everything. 4, I don't need to stick with an exact image of a successful me in a specific career from present to the rest of my life😨. Because NOW that heavily stressful thought (which's supposed to make me feel safe, oriented and ordered) drives me crazily miserable 🤣 ( My real example is I force myself to become a leader of some huge and professional NGO 😵‍💫 to "really" create influences and change people in a macro way 😂). Instead of that, I can do things I enjoy ( Now I start volunteering to help children in small provinces near my area with learning English. It truly makes me feel happy and lights up my heart)☺ .
    5, I hated money and the way money worked. It was a boring field that I was extremely fed up at university. But now I change. It turns out I like working professionally in taxes and accounting. There are so many things I can related to your content . I think it's one of your best videos. Thank you so so so much for sharing these thinking and advices.

  • @queennmo
    @queennmo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My struggles in my 20s ( I’m 22 btw)
    •Pressure to finish uni
    •Pressure to get into a stable healthy relationship
    •Pressure to know where I’m going

  • @designg2892
    @designg2892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Im 19 in a week. I also have an emotional burnout and your video is giving me a support and hope. I got motivation and strength to start doibg smth. Also i wanna go to course in january and so i have doubts, but after your video I firgured out that I really Wanna go
    Thank you ❤️

  • @cucumbrouschimera3123
    @cucumbrouschimera3123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am 21, in college and I was feeling so lost. I was like, "what the hell am I suppsed to do with my life? Why dont I have a plan? Why cant I stick to one plan?" And this video helped alot!!

  • @leonoraschulze7610
    @leonoraschulze7610 2 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    I‘m incredibly grateful that I have access to all this wisdom and advice on your channel.. I‘m at the beginning at my 20s and your videos always ease my fear of the future. Thank you so much for your content and keep on healing this world

  • @smarterperson16
    @smarterperson16 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    turning 28 in a few months from now and i still don't know what i'm doing, but that's okay! a lot of people are in the same boat as i am, so it's something i need to constantly remind myself whenever i feel myself spiraling while going thru my ig feeds and seeing old classmates of mine get married or have kids or what not. also, "follow your curiosity/fear" is SUCH good advice. all the points you shared in this vid are, but that one is gonna stick with me. fantastic video btw! you earned a new subscriber in me, hah.

  • @skzlkin
    @skzlkin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Your videos make me cry. It's like a warm hug.Thank you Aileen for this video!
    I thought I was already having a really hard time when I was still a student but looking back, I feel like life was so much easier back then. Like what you said, the path was clear when I was a student. I had clear goals - to get into my dream university, to graduate and to pass the board exam. However, now that I've achieved these goals, I feel lost. I feel like I've chosen the wrong career but I don't know what's the right one if this isn't it. I've been thinking about the things I love, things I'm good at, things that I can be paid for and things the world need but I still don't have the answer. I don't know what I really want to do in life and it's so frustrating. I was so focused on reaching my goals back then that I lost myself. I was so busy studying so I didn't have time for the hobbies that I used to enjoy and now I feel like I totally lost my interest in them. Nothing makes me feel excited anymore. :(

  • @lostinadmiration
    @lostinadmiration 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My favourite one is follow your fear. It is not easy to go out of your comfort zone, emotionally, mentally and in every other way. But this is where we grow the most. Overall, learnt so much here - even though I am also in my 30ties now! Thank you for this video!

  • @lapisdough1561
    @lapisdough1561 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I really appreciate this, as a person in my early 20's I felt so seen. The advice that really spoke to me was the advice of understanding that this time in my life is (more or less) SUPPOSED to be rigorous and challenging (in that it's normal to have to struggle to "find myself" and my purpose)

  • @superjasminemusic
    @superjasminemusic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    This was so needed right now, thank you so much for this amazing video! I’m 21 and am currently at a crossroads - heavily been thinking about changing careers but there’s so many factors to think about. The advice that most resonated with me is take the biggest risks when I’m young, I know I have a good support system behind me so we’ll see what the future holds for me 😌🤞🏼

  • @yoobinlee412
    @yoobinlee412 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I just turned 20 and I just suddenly feel being lost despite of since then I have idea and ambition of what I want in my life, so thank you for this!

  • @DGLEE06
    @DGLEE06 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Currently watching this as im about to turn 25 in June, this video was very helful and relatable as I feel so lost right now and in a huge rut, Ive been taking alot of breaks and just trying to evaluate my life and explore more interests since I don't know what I actually like.

  • @vamvam2113
    @vamvam2113 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I always compare myself to others even though they're older or younger than me. I always remind myself stop comparing myself to others but I couldn't.But now I've decided to only focus on myself. Anyway thanks for your motivations and kind words. I really appreciate it❤️.

  • @marysia1427
    @marysia1427 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i’m not in my twenties yet. i’m nineteen, i just started uni and already feel lost. and i think that if i could somehow stop thinking about what others thin of me i would just stop for a moment. let go of the excessive responsibilities i put on myself and give myself some time to rest. to sleep for more than five hours. to let myself feel loved by myself. and maybe i could mother myself the way i mother everyone else in my life?

  • @Stephaniergtz
    @Stephaniergtz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    You have a SOOTHING VOICE. I was able to follow attentively everything you said and your words are definitely advice I need to hear as a 21 year old, outta college. Sending you a virtual hug ... thank you for sharing this. By the way I absolutely love your haircut - it suits you well.

  • @kasumimiko8091
    @kasumimiko8091 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I know I'm a little late here, but tip 4 sparked something in me I want to share.
    When I was 24, I shaved all of my hair off. By choice. My whole life I had long, thick, crazy colorful hair and when it was gone, it was like a part of my identity left with it. People looked at me different, no on recognized me, and I felt so strange for years. But in the grow out process, I learned to find ways to love myself at every stage, and not give a hoot what others think, because it's simply not their journey.
    It also taught me a lot about the patience required for long term growth (yes hair but also life in general, lol).
    If anyone is reading this and coincidence has it you're considering shaving your head, go for it. It's a fun way to hit the reset button on your identity, long term.
    P.s. if you do it and miss your hair, buy a wig with your old hair style to cushion the blow. It helps.
    I love love love this video. All great advice. ♡

  • @beatrizmoraes2310
    @beatrizmoraes2310 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I just turned 21 and I feel so bad, it feels like time flew and I jumped from 18 to 21 ( probably because of the pandemic and quarentine) and it's making my anxiety worse. This video came on the perfect time

    • @nalayuta2291
      @nalayuta2291 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I’m also 21 and feel the exact same way. Ur not alone and i hope it all gets better for you soon 💕

    • @beatrizmoraes2310
      @beatrizmoraes2310 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nalayuta2291 thank you so much! ❤️ I hope it will get better for you too! We're not alone 🤍

    • @christinepregonero5295
      @christinepregonero5295 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Loo

  • @fridamata2819
    @fridamata2819 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you! I’m 23 and I feel so bad, I feel lost and sometimes like I’m a loser. But this video change my perspective of life and take me to stay calm too.

  • @choidaniel8430
    @choidaniel8430 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    sis, after watching a lot of your videos I realized how precious you are, your videos gave me motivation and your voice healed me and I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me

  • @sheshell9073
    @sheshell9073 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Omg the part hurting physically feels so real in life rn ,i can relate to this in life rn

  • @fheaalidiad
    @fheaalidiad 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I’m 21 next month and I couldn’t be grateful enough to be your subscriber since years ago and learn so much from you, especially with this kind of video that is much needed for me. Thanks Aileen xoxo

    • @ozoonfilm497
      @ozoonfilm497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      hey i hope you’re doing great 😊

  • @joycelaw4191
    @joycelaw4191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m 20 and I’ve been feeling so lost lately. Not sure what my future holds. Everything seems so scary. And I always compare my life to others, wondering why can’t I be like them. I wanna be a pretty girl and everyone’s favorite girl too. But your video really does help me a lot💗I realize that I should just be the real me and stop comparing myself to others ❤️I don’t need to be perfect

  • @nessyempowerment
    @nessyempowerment 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    All I'm saying is that I've seen people change their lives completely at 50 years old and are now the happiest , healthiest and wealthiest they ever been . And that's highly admirable. We're just getting to know ourselves in our 20s. And we'll never figure out everything nomatter how old we get.
    This video is amazing and relatable.💕
    Sending you love and positive energy to everyone 💕💕💕

  • @TI-bq1cg
    @TI-bq1cg ปีที่แล้ว

    This video is such a good piece of advice. I've just graduated and feel lost for the first time in my life. I was a very competitive kid who always won any competitions and had good grades. Now I have to start everything over, I'm nobody, and it makes me depressed and anxious. It feels like every way I go is a dead-end. I think about the future but I'm also too scared to commit because of imposter syndrome. I started procrastinating for the first time in my life as well. I've become friends with a panic attack because it happens too often. I can't eat or sleep properly. Watching this video made me realize a lot of things. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm going to follow your advice and be more kind to myself. :)

  • @my4366
    @my4366 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    This video came at a perfect time, I’ve been feeling lost and trying to get out because I felt like I always had direction prior to this. It’s so hard and I hate how some days I didn’t accomplish anything. However, I’ve been watching your videos and I write down what I do daily and plan my days. It helps me feel better and slowly gain my confidence back. Thank you so much for being inspiring :)

  • @banguyen2939
    @banguyen2939 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm crying when watching it. To those people are also struggling out there. Believe in yourself and keep fighting.

  • @ashleyjuan806
    @ashleyjuan806 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you! I'm not yet 20 (turning 19) but I feel lost. I am a Senior High School student and thinking about college makes me feel lost because I think that I am not good and I do not know what I should do. Thanks again. I am more confident now.

    • @ozoonfilm497
      @ozoonfilm497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      hope you’re doing good. i believe in you 🤗

    • @localhero2345
      @localhero2345 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ify it also hit different when u also have social anxiety T^T

  • @estherkessie
    @estherkessie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    To stop being so hard on myself, i am still dealing with this, thank you for sharing dear

  • @katiethomas5889
    @katiethomas5889 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Here are something I wish I knew in my 20s: not everyone will love you, if you make a mistake learn from it, listen more than talk, and have some fun!

  • @tikkakitty8802
    @tikkakitty8802 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am 17 years old, i had to leave home and get my own place before i could finish highschool. I lost most of my teenagehood to trauma and mental illness. I know im not even 20 yet but since i have already skipped a huge part of childhood (eg. paying rent and needing to fend for myself before i am even an adult) i resonate more with people in their early 20s. Leaving home going to uni etc. I am both curious and passionate about science and am currently doing a bridging course so that i can get a bachelors in science. I know i am passionate about science but i am still curious about all the different fields and area of study. I have loved science since i was a young child,but i have always remained curious. I feel like i kind of have the whole passion vs curiosity thing down since i feel both about this one thing. I am good at it and i can just feel that its right. Its one of those things where you can never truly know everything about the subject and theres always something new. The more you learn the more you realise how little you know, and i think that beautiful. I know its rare to have this kinda sense of direction at my age but i am really grateful that i do.

  • @marystein8335
    @marystein8335 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Following curiosity and fear was my favorite one ❤️

  • @thespotlight9337
    @thespotlight9337 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Thank you ❤️. It was much needed for now. I'm 22 going through so many changes in life , having Doubts and transformation and everything. Finding myself clueless. But this video helpful for understanding better. ❤️

  • @bezzysworld
    @bezzysworld 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I nearly cried. I turned 21. It's early my 20s but it hit hard to me. I'm trying to find myself because nothing feels like me anymore. And your video came when I needed it! Thank you love! Your words was amazing and I need to head them! Thank you again and love you so much 💜

  • @bongs.watches.shi.
    @bongs.watches.shi. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “Action breeds more action“
    This is so true. I remember in 2020 late 2019, I decided to change my life by doing something new once or twice a month. I could literally feel myself get more confident and happier. I’m trying to get back to that mindset again, but I’ve been struggling. After two years of locking myself inside and using any and every excuse to not go to events and such, I’ve developed this weird anxiety of going out and trying new things. 🤞🏾hopefully, this will be my year again

  • @155books
    @155books 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I adored your tip on following your curiosity! There are so many things I am curious about trying but never do because I always fall back on what is safe… so in 2022 I want to be more curious!

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Love that goal!

  • @amjbayy7995
    @amjbayy7995 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am around 21 and the most useful tip for me is 'Just take action' because I learnt that if I start planning or doing something which may be useful or not, it begins to show more ways to go or more pieces to build myself better.

  • @rifat410
    @rifat410 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Turning 23 Idk what I'm doing with my life. This video couldn't have come in a better time.

  • @hoonlcve3491
    @hoonlcve3491 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am literally in tears rn...it feels like your big sister is guiding you...i just turned 20 and yeah i was lost, your videos helps me a lot....thank you sm Lavi

  • @BryantHenriquez
    @BryantHenriquez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My favorite one's are to stop being hard on yourself and to do something out of your comfort zone.

  • @jameelabbasi4457
    @jameelabbasi4457 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Parents really sometimes push their children into the idea and community they want their children to be but this can really sometimes depressing but even they doesn’t have any intention and they want to protect and provide their children. If you can please make an video on parents and children relationship ?

  • @WalesRebel
    @WalesRebel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I’m 14 at the time of writing this, and being 20 seems so far yet so near at the same time. This video is really interesting and I would probably keep all your advice in mind for when I finally turn 20 in a few years!! 💓🥺

  • @Chunliia
    @Chunliia 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm 26 and going through that phase right now. I actually saw my therapist yesterday and we talked about the fact that it's ok to not know what to do in life or to not know what I truly like or makes me happy. Few months ago I was so scared of being lost in my life and for the first time yesterday I enjoyed it! I felt kinda free and happy to be able to discover myself more and just to enjoy life as it is. I've been so hard on myself these past few years and I put too much pressure on myself I had to stop working few months ago to take a break and to rest a little. It has been hard but I'm actually starting to understand (finally) that it's ok to be lost and it's ok to make mistakes.
    Thank you for your video! I felt less alone for a moment ❤

  • @ilikerice631
    @ilikerice631 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m going into highschool so I’m far away from my twenties but I will be taking these things into consideration, thank you lavendaire. (also I love ur meditations)

  • @kellyphan9925
    @kellyphan9925 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Im the oldest and your videos helps me feel like I have an older sister who can give me sound advice. Thank you so much 😊

  • @kate_ka
    @kate_ka 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Me as a Ukrainian watching this video become excited for life again after 24th February. Looking forward to end of war to continue living my existing life
    So guys living in a peaceful country just know that no matter what you are going through you are so blessed 😇. Sending you all love 💕

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Sending you so much love 💕

  • @amirahusna5547
    @amirahusna5547 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thanks for your amazing tips. thx for "u feel me"

  • @diana_akylba
    @diana_akylba 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thanks Aileen for such a useful and supportive video. That's exactly what most of us need to hear🌿

  • @11zee85
    @11zee85 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Don't be afraid to start over again. This time you're not starting from scratch, you're starting from experience.

  • @aneashalopez5885
    @aneashalopez5885 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Yesterday was my 20 th birthday ✨
    Thank You for this video.God bless.

    • @anamraj8103
      @anamraj8103 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Belated ..... Happy Birthday & so many beautiful returns of the day ..🎂🎉🎁

    • @aneashalopez5885
      @aneashalopez5885 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@anamraj8103 Thank you soo much ✨😇

    • @anamraj8103
      @anamraj8103 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@aneashalopez5885 ✌️ have a amazing year ahead 🎉🥳

  • @Trulyangiie
    @Trulyangiie ปีที่แล้ว +1

    if nobody really cared and if there judgment didn't bother me i would feel free and happy and it would be easier to find my life goals and what i really want cuz right now all i know is i wanna be happy and i don't wanna do something im forced to cuz of the prospective of others

  • @greycubano4397
    @greycubano4397 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for putting out this video!! I definitely needed it as I have been struggling with figuring out who I am and my purpose in life. I have been needing guidance and my family is not very good about conversation!!

  • @juliachn635
    @juliachn635 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was just tearing up and holding back but then I really let out and let myself cry. As I decided to pause college and the major that I have spent 3.5 years with, as I was left to pick up my pieces with my therapist about traumas and the still fresh abusive marriage I finally left but still haunts me, I shaved my head as my tiny effort to gain back control of my life, of my body. Yet I still have to hide those with my parents. I wear hats or wigs whenever we facetime and have to smile and change topic whenever they mention me reconnecting with my ex or my study as my culture does not approve these. I am exhausted. I'd rather die than not living for myself at this point. I will choose myself.

  • @ayanetsunako6281
    @ayanetsunako6281 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    really enjoyed this video,it feels like having a big sister that i never had !

  • @NovaTheSinger
    @NovaTheSinger 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just turned 25,I have felt this way mostly due to how my life is,I can’t take a big risk that I love to but I can at least risk making many mistakes,I do have to care for my family someone else I know has to,too but I will look on the bright side as best as I can 😄

  • @lindsay4938
    @lindsay4938 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you so much for this video.

  • @kaelinfloyd
    @kaelinfloyd ปีที่แล้ว +1

    my favorite advice is follow your passion

  • @theartesana
    @theartesana 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you so much for sharing this..as a mother of a young 21 year old daughter..sometimes hearing it from someone else is refreshing! ❣️✨

  • @subarnakhorshed8112
    @subarnakhorshed8112 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am 24 years old. Life makes me so depressed already and i feel so lost. I don’t know what to do with life, career etc. i feel like I can’t even take care of myself anymore. Getting lazier day by day for my depression. Barely move out from bad. All of my friends are married and some of them have babies. It makes me depressed too.
    This video is awesome. It’s okay to get lost and not have anything clear. Hope i am gonna find myself by the time i am 30

  • @michelapittigliani4474
    @michelapittigliani4474 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This video was so useful omg. I stopped the video everytime you said something that made me reflect about myself and journal about it and this made me realize a lot of things. Thank you so much❤️

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      wow that’s a great exercise!

  • @bigguy5944
    @bigguy5944 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am 17 and feeling depressed as hell due to past trauma that i have been dealing with since 3 years. My father thinks that I am too young to come across something as depression.I reached out to my family members and i lost hope when everyone kept saying to focus on my upcoming exams instead of giving me mental support.
    But this video helped me in many ways.I am glad to hear that I still have time to get myself figured out where i really want to be in my life and to follow where my curiosity goes.
    Thank you so much Aileen💕

  • @redconversegirl2711
    @redconversegirl2711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I love this kind of videos, they're a great complement for "The Defining Decade"!

    • @RachelECartwright
      @RachelECartwright 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Have you seen this video talking about that book? I thought it was very good. :D th-cam.com/video/smLqTMPgREk/w-d-xo.html

  • @Lunay08
    @Lunay08 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I appreciate your content so much, but thinking about the long term hasnt worked for me very much, so I stopped doing it all together as it causes immense waves of anxiety.
    Reason being is that in the past, I've thought about the big picture and where I thought I was going to be at this age, and well, I'm not where I thought I was going to be, and im so happy that Im not. My mindset has shifted over the years, and the things I wanted in the past are no longer the things I want now. Im just experimenting, because who knows. I might say that I want to be a lawyer in my future, but then I get there and realize it isnt for me. Letting life flow and take its course has been the best decision for me. Its done wonders for my mental health.

  • @nibiru8727
    @nibiru8727 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    kinda feeling lost today, Idk it's like an empty feeling. I don't feel sad or happy either. Im 20 and I was like "I'd like to watch yt, what should I do and why do I feel lost? Is this normal?" And suddenly I got the notification of this video, thanks xx

  • @anganan7349
    @anganan7349 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I don't why but I always feel better and have a sense of relief whenever I watch your videos. Specifically, this video helps me realize more new things in life. I'm going through a little stress and pressure, but when I get your support, I feel like I don't need to be hard on myself and need time to know who I am and my own value. I really appreciate it

  • @navapavarapark
    @navapavarapark 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m going through this lost at 27 years of age. I feel like I’m falling behind in life. Also, dealing with these mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
    Your videos really help me a lot. You have no idea how your videos has been helping me mentally. I love every videos of yours. You really have no idea how much you have helped me. I’m still struggling day by day !but I really wish these mental illness will go away soon. I’m getting there. Thank you so much Aileen💗

    • @RikkeGade
      @RikkeGade 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can completely relate to this. I turned 28 in February and im also dealing with depression and anxiety, been on sick leave from my studies since janaury last year.
      You are not alone❤️ I hope you will feel better soon.

    • @navapavarapark
      @navapavarapark 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RikkeGade It’s been so hard and tough. Thank you so much, we’re gonna okay. We got this, we can get through this. Be kind to yourself is what I’m learning while healing myself💗

  • @skaurx26
    @skaurx26 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I feel lost and im 31 😔 and to someone else looking at me, they’ll think i have everything anyone could want, a good job, a great husband that loves me… i just feel lost professionally career wise.

  • @Zhar2002
    @Zhar2002 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    thank you💖 this is what i need now, and you help me a lot. I'm going 20 this year and need this kind of Adultng tips and i hope you upload more.🥰