Don’t apologize. She didn’t just asked, she pushed, and she got an answer she didn’t like. That’s all. You can tell your mom that, too. There was no insult.
People… if $200 dollars a month in formula and $60 a month in diapers a month causes you to completely change your lifestyle and downgrade your apartment, you weren’t budgeting properly to begin with. These expenses did that couple a favor because they were living well above their means.
My family (including my sister who has two kids) would literally laugh at that comment. Then again, my sister and her husband have educations and jobs…sounds like it hit the sister where it hurts. An off hand funny comment held a mirror up to her life and she didn’t like what she saw.
You have nothing to apologize for. She kept pressing and got an answer she didn’t like. It’s annoying when people say “you’ll change your mind” about having kids. Whether someone wants or doesn’t want kids that’s their business.
NTA I dont know why it is such a shock to people when they find out having kids is expensive. The sister asked for her situation when she started "trying" for one, so you would've thought that she would be financially prepared, but since she wasn't it's all on her and shes just upset that you noticed and/or are using her as an example of "what not to be".
She doesn't have to apologise but some of the comments are thinking that the sister is doing this coldly and calculatingly. She works full time to support the family and has a very young baby? I'd be surprised if she knew where she was 90% of the time.
Nah, you just shoved a mirror in front of her. She saw herself and it freaked her out. DO NO APOLOGISE. Potentially you could ask for an apology for them making you feel bad if you want to show how stupid they're being.
no :D it is actually funny sentence :D also who tf said you have to have kids. For example me.... I don't but if it happens I would not be deathly afraid of the kid. I would be deathly afraid that I will not be good enough. Also call me insensitive all you want I am still sad when my feelings get hurt.. it is the same, I just recover much more faster, perks of falling low are always a little bit impenetrable. Anyways love you... I mean it
It seems like alot of people are saying to not apologize but i disagree if you genuinly dont want to hurt someone and you say something they take offense to you should apologize for offending them but clarify your own statements in a less hurtful way
Nah, the sister's too sensitive. OP never specified that it was because of her sister's situation that she didn't want a baby. She just said she didn't want a baby because they're expensive. And the sister blew it out of proportion. She assumed too much. If anything, the sister should apologize to her, especially for being so pushy. But... I suppose, if OP wants to resolve this situation by herself, she should explain what she meant in a less "harmful" way... But she should NOT, by any means, apologize. Because she was never in the wrong.
@@mewsea1155 op is entitled to her own opinion and so is the sister i do agree that the sister over reacted but saying “i would rather have money then a baby” to a struggling mother seems very insensitive
@@Lethargic320 Then maybe the struggling mother shouldn't have kept pushing and telling OP they were wrong when they first said they don't want kids. It would be one thing if it was an offhand response to an offhand question, but the sister had been needling OP about it all night, belittling OP's feelings, telling OP their feelings are wrong, etc. The sister deliberately picked a fight and then started crying to mommy when OP hit back after hours of patience, OP has nothing to apologize for, frankly, that wasn't even insensitive in-context, the sister forced OP into a situation that made OP uncomfortable, so OP gave a moment of brutal honesty because attempts to be diplomatic weren't being accepted. Don't attack other people's way of life if you are too thin skinned to handle having them attack yours, especially when it isn't even an attack on your way of life in the first place but rather an attempt at defending their own. The sister is being childish and OP handled that with as much grace as can be reasonably expected.
@@jacobbissey9311 The world isn't black and white, they both didn't handle the situation ideally and apologizing for something you didn't mean that way will hurt nobody so there is no reason not to
Don’t apologize. She didn’t just asked, she pushed, and she got an answer she didn’t like. That’s all. You can tell your mom that, too. There was no insult.
Apologize for what? Having the sense to not get knocked up by a SoundCloud hopeful that only works part time?
Sister is a bully and quite obviously weaponizing their mother.
People… if $200 dollars a month in formula and $60 a month in diapers a month causes you to completely change your lifestyle and downgrade your apartment, you weren’t budgeting properly to begin with. These expenses did that couple a favor because they were living well above their means.
Don’t apologise!
My family (including my sister who has two kids) would literally laugh at that comment. Then again, my sister and her husband have educations and jobs…sounds like it hit the sister where it hurts. An off hand funny comment held a mirror up to her life and she didn’t like what she saw.
You have nothing to apologize for. She kept pressing and got an answer she didn’t like. It’s annoying when people say “you’ll change your mind” about having kids. Whether someone wants or doesn’t want kids that’s their business.
No, reddit user, you are not the as**ole, you were brave and stunning and everyone clapped
Great comment 😂😂😂
NothingEverHappens is leaking again...
NTA I dont know why it is such a shock to people when they find out having kids is expensive. The sister asked for her situation when she started "trying" for one, so you would've thought that she would be financially prepared, but since she wasn't it's all on her and shes just upset that you noticed and/or are using her as an example of "what not to be".
She doesn't have to apologise but some of the comments are thinking that the sister is doing this coldly and calculatingly. She works full time to support the family and has a very young baby? I'd be surprised if she knew where she was 90% of the time.
Nah, you just shoved a mirror in front of her. She saw herself and it freaked her out. DO NO APOLOGISE. Potentially you could ask for an apology for them making you feel bad if you want to show how stupid they're being.
Sounds like you were being nice to her.
NTA
no :D it is actually funny sentence :D also who tf said you have to have kids. For example me.... I don't but if it happens I would not be deathly afraid of the kid. I would be deathly afraid that I will not be good enough. Also call me insensitive all you want I am still sad when my feelings get hurt.. it is the same, I just recover much more faster, perks of falling low are always a little bit impenetrable. Anyways love you... I mean it
It seems like alot of people are saying to not apologize but i disagree if you genuinly dont want to hurt someone and you say something they take offense to you should apologize for offending them but clarify your own statements in a less hurtful way
I thought i was the only one who thought that. Thank you for wording it well.
Nah, the sister's too sensitive. OP never specified that it was because of her sister's situation that she didn't want a baby. She just said she didn't want a baby because they're expensive. And the sister blew it out of proportion. She assumed too much.
If anything, the sister should apologize to her, especially for being so pushy.
But... I suppose, if OP wants to resolve this situation by herself, she should explain what she meant in a less "harmful" way... But she should NOT, by any means, apologize. Because she was never in the wrong.
@@mewsea1155 op is entitled to her own opinion and so is the sister i do agree that the sister over reacted but saying “i would rather have money then a baby” to a struggling mother seems very insensitive
@@Lethargic320 Then maybe the struggling mother shouldn't have kept pushing and telling OP they were wrong when they first said they don't want kids. It would be one thing if it was an offhand response to an offhand question, but the sister had been needling OP about it all night, belittling OP's feelings, telling OP their feelings are wrong, etc. The sister deliberately picked a fight and then started crying to mommy when OP hit back after hours of patience, OP has nothing to apologize for, frankly, that wasn't even insensitive in-context, the sister forced OP into a situation that made OP uncomfortable, so OP gave a moment of brutal honesty because attempts to be diplomatic weren't being accepted. Don't attack other people's way of life if you are too thin skinned to handle having them attack yours, especially when it isn't even an attack on your way of life in the first place but rather an attempt at defending their own. The sister is being childish and OP handled that with as much grace as can be reasonably expected.
@@jacobbissey9311 The world isn't black and white, they both didn't handle the situation ideally and apologizing for something you didn't mean that way will hurt nobody so there is no reason not to
Eh apologize and reduce contact. She’s obviously jealous and if you really cared about what she’s going through just give her the W and move on
You're NTA for what you said, but you're selfish for preferring money over kids. She shouldn't have taken it as a slight though.
I tell people like this I am a pedophobe...