My boss one told me (after I said something negative about myself) don't talk about my friend like that! So I'll say to you, don't talk about my friend like that! You deserve all the things, you deserve the closet and the home you have waited so long for, and you WILL enjoy it 😂
I love your videos and podcasts. They've been Lifesavers for me. I was wondering if you could either talk louder or increase the volume on your end. Sometimes it sounds to my 67 year old ears as if you are speaking very low. I can't increase the volume on my end. I don't want to miss a single word.
Truth, I too feel our house is too fancy for us @Clutterbug, but then I was told the first week I moved in that I couldn't keep it clean by, my mother, her sisters, and finally my mother-in-law. They were all invited, behind my back as a SURPRISE by my mother, to come and help clean it before we moved in since it was only new to us but had already been lived in for 10 years by the original owners. The all came the day, I had invited my mother-in-law to come help move all my perennials and raspberry and blueberry bushes. Needless to say I didn't have the fun time to move into the first home we have ever owned, I never got to take any of the perenials from our rented place we had lived in for 8 years, which was a well kept home other than the several floods we lived through, all of a sudden I couldn't maintain my home, my chores, my job, my kids, my health even went so far in the dumps that I ended up disabled. I have the piles to prove we have lived here for 15 years while I drowned and my husband became my caretaker instead of my husband. You are the light that shines through our darkness, we are now working through the shame and self-hatred we have lived with all our lives.
While listening to this video, I cleaned off my desk down to a handful of things to do. Also, I washed 2 loads of laundry, and 1 is almost finished. Now, it's back to dishes that have been soaking while I did other stuff. I listen to your videos while I'm doing other stuff I don't want to do. Thanks for these videos.
Cass, in all the All Day Declutters on TYHB, you end up crying, telling us we deserve this. You have changed so many lives, including mine. YOU DESERVE THIS! Enjoy your new house. ❤
I had the same upbringing and I rebelled against tidy homes. My condescending mantra about tidy homes was "It looks like no one lives here". "I" now have a tidy home (thanks to you, Dawn and Dana). It took 3 years (which included a move), but now it's a lifestyle. Even THAT was a surprise. I told myself NEVER AGAIN, and while that is true, things really do come back in. Gifts and material things are a part of life. De-cluttering HAS to be a lifestyle. Cass, please enjoy your WALK IN CLOSET for all of us who would love to have that and do not (for whatever reason). I think that is every woman's dream closet. 🤤
Oh Cass! Big hugs! As a pastor's wife, I completely understand the guilt of having nice things and struggling to accept that you deserve them. I am worried if I wear something too nice or nice jewelry or such to church that someone will think we are wasting money or that they are paying the pastor too much (not even remotely true). It doesn't matter that my husband and I both work other jobs. It is still hard to give myself that permission. And food and exercise??!? I daily struggle with THAT self-sabotage! So please know that I hear you; I get you. Thank you for being so open and honest. Your willingness to be open and vulnerable is helping so many of us. I wish I could come and help you pack and move. You have helped me so much (along with Dawn and Dana) in transforming my home. It isn't fast or perfect, but I'm getting there and feeling the peace that comes with letting go of the stuff. I'm there with you, body-doubling in spirit! One step at a time. I know you can do it. And I know you deserve it; keep up the good self-talk. ❤
@@marylut6077 I am sorry I was not clear. No one is making me feel that way; I do it to myself. I was speaking to the topic of self-sabotage. In reality, I have never had anyone in the congregation ever say or do anything to make me feel like I don't deserve nice things.
You feel a responsibility and that can make sense but I would want to know that this person / family that is trying to help me and our community takes proper care of themselves and treats themselves to nice / quality things in their life. It would make me feel like God is taking care of these people that mean so much to me... hopefully you can think of it that way!!
God wants to bless us! Crack open the Bible to read the BOATLOADS of verses where He is trying to chase us down the street with blessings. Please TAKE THOSE BLESSINGS!!!
Oh, sister. The Prov. 31 woman was wearing FINE linen of scarlet and purple - high quality, pricey cloth is what she sold and wore - and her household. She was not a pauper in rags. And Paul reminded the early church that "a worker is worthy of his wage." Worthy. Humble but still not wrong to live a comfortable life. There's a big difference between that and greed & vanity. I don't think that's what is in your heart. 🤗 God bless you with joy, peace, and great style. 😉 ✝️🐑🙏❤️🥳💃
Very insightful, Cas! I had a similar revelation 20 years ago. I was always in debt until someone told me I was more comfortable being poor than rich. Poor people were good people and rich were unhappy people. Once I grasped this hidden thought I was able to overcome it and now I'm debt free! Enjoy your new home that you both worked for. It's a gift TO each other and a gift for your children ❤️
When your packing say “I deserve this” out loud to yourself. When you get to the new house say “I deserve this, my family deserves this.” When unpacking in your new home “I deserves this my family deserves this” you have to say it out loud so your body registers it and changes your thinking. Keep doing that. New clothing any brand “I deserve this”, new shoes “I deserve this” etc
I really like this, and will use it, even for the little things as well as the hard work I need to put onto a project. Thank you. It really us the little things that makes a huge difference.
Oh, Cas, I just love you. Your psychological insightfulness and modeling of growth mindset are an inspiration, and the way you share your experiences so others can have better lives too is such a beautiful, generous thing.❤I hope you enjoy every blingtastic thing about your new house! You deserve it, and more! ❤🏡❤
One more thing, Cass, I have recently realized a new mindset regarding clutter cleaning etc. I have many friends who have hobbies ie painting, sewing, arts and crafts. I don’t do any of that! But I told my daughter recently that decluttering is my new hobby! And as I repeated this to my husband Bruce I was saying a hobby is something to be enjoyed! He asked do you enjoy decluttering and like a light 💡 bulb 💡 moment, I said YES!! It charges me up to do more!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and helping us out here get to a more simple and clutter free life!! ❤Barb
I spent my whole lifetime downplaying everything that I accomplished and everything I had because my sister was jealous. She couldn’t have these things and I didn’t want to upset her. DON’T DO IT! Enjoy your new house, make it the home you love. You have worked hard for this and you deserve it.
It's hard to be resilient sometimes. This was a good convo. It's almost like you're having low-key "survivors guilt," but no one died in this case. You just want to be relatable, and upgrading your house probably feels like you're leaving your relatability behind, so you're dragging your heels and self-sabatoging your move because you probably deep down don't want to feel like you deserve something so nice. Yes, there are a ton of people who don't have a way to get nicer stuff like this, and they also deserve it. It's next to impossible to feel like we CAN get anywhere and have nice things, especially these days when things are ridiculously expensive and out of reach for so many of us. If you can afford to live more comfortably, bonus! Though, I totally get feeling guilt and shame with feeling comfortable when so many people aren't all that fortunate. A lot of hard working people still can't afford a walk-in closet. A lot of people with money are stereotypically snobby, arrogant, jerks and unrelateable. I was lucky enough to know a rich family growing up that if you didn't know their story, you'd never know they were rich. They didn't dress fancy, and they were all smart, curious, down-to-earth people who never turned their nose up at others because of what they had. They were still relateable. You can still be rich and be the same person you were before you had possessions. You're still relateable and humble and do a great job of connecting with your audience. You do deserve this! Thanks again for sharing your feelings and being vulnerable, I know it's hard to do.
Love that survivors guilt does really relate in this case. Survived not being able to have nice stuff. You hopefully will get ok with it in time. Love that you share this. I think a lot of us have this to some degree its not that unheard of. Thank you for sharing. We need to talk these thing out.
@trishb6895 Yes! I was also thinking of surviving during hard times and thriving over others. When you know you work hard and so do others, but, you have the thing over others and you feel a bit of guilt and shame for having so much and some people don't have the same thing. You just want everyone to have equal amounts of stuff.
I was completely uncomfortable by simply sitting in the driver's seat of an $80K Tesla. I could barely breathe. I had to get out of the vehicle right away. I don't even remember what it looked like inside. I do remember the leather seat and how plush that felt. The moment completely scared me. I just couldn't relate to this type of luxury, or something so expensive. I've been sabotaging myself all my life, I completely understand. Thanks for the conversation.
I completely relate to this, Beverly! When our Ford Fiesta was in for repairs after an accident, the insurance company rolled up with a courtesy car - the most amazing-looking brand new spotless silvery grey Mercedes. I sat in the driver's seat for a couple of minutes and was totally intimidated, not only by the leather interior but also by the high tech dashboard, lack of keyhole for the ignition, computerised screens everywhere and sheer flawlessness of everything... I was so terrified by its grandeur and newness that I asked for an alternative, but this was the only one available. Can you believe I asked them to take it back, and managed without a car until the familiar little old Ford Fiesta was ready! I've never even regretted not having a drive in the Mercedes!
Kas, you deserve all the good things in your life. The work you do has set so many people free from guilt or clutter to allow them to manage their homes in a style that works for him, that work allowed you to afford to buy a new house with things you've always dreamed of having. So go dance in you walk in closet
I want to jump on a plane from the UK right now to come help you pack Cass! A light bulb moment for me in the past was that accepting help was not a weakness and that it was actually a gift to those around me who wanted to help and feel useful. I hope you get lots of offers for a packing party Cass 😊 or that you reach out to ask for help so you get to move into your beautiful new home that you deserve feeling loved and worthy and not too frazzled! ❤
I am 66 years old, but I totally understand and relate to how you are feeling about the new house. But please, “don’t do as I do, do as I say” - Please accept and enjoy your new house.
You’re such a beautiful person. Remember your viewers aren’t living stagnant lives either. We’re either moving forward or backwards. Show us how to handle the forward transitions.
I have cancer, and my house, over the last 8 years since diagnosis, has really gotten bad. But I am a bit more energetic, at least in fits and starts, right now, so I’ve been decluttering as I can! I appreciate your help so much and think that you’re incredibly helpful and positive. I’ve struggled with self sabotage my entire life, but somehow I end up managing to make it through every situation. It ends how it ends, but it always ends, if you know what I mean. Be kinder to yourself! You deserve it 💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼
Ceilings just made me realize why my move a year ago was SO awful! In 2020 I moved 1,000 miles from a 3/2/2, hoarder- like house to a 2/2 apartment. I was so proud of how i handled it, and purged (and purged!) After 15 months, the landlord decided to raise everyone's rent by $700/ month! My apartment was fine. I'm not picky, I don't need fancy - just a decent area, comfy place. When they raised the rent, i started looking around. Apartments in my 'new' area were at the same, new rates. But: they are all so much nicer. And, valet trash, and hardwood floors, granite counter tops, vaulted ceilings - gorgeous! The apartment I was in needed serious updates and they wanted the same rent I'm paying now. Intellectually, it was a no brainer - right? I got excited and signed the lease. Fast forward to the move. It was a sh** show. Felt like everything was surreal. Felt like a stranger in my own home. Now, I live alone and this place looks like a hoarder lives here. And I realized: I've never had this before. Always struggled, now i don't. I'm 57, and it's new. Your podcast helped me see what I'm doing, and why. Im being you not to do what I did. We've worked hard to get where we are, and we've earned it. We're just not used to it because we've not been 'here' before. How do we not go from where we've always be to where we are now without changing who we are? Guess what!?! I'm still me, and I'm still thrifty. I do have better things than before - but I'm not bougie, lol. Yet, I went back to surrounding myself with piles because it's some bizarre comfort zone. I deserve a new normal, and so do you! Here's a deal: I'll get after now, if you will. You've actually helped me so much, in so many areas. You've shown me my organizing style, which I promise I do use. My clutter is all related to one tiny part of my life. Everything else is organized and put away thanks to you, for the first time in my life. Glennon Doyle is right: "we can do hard things". So let's get after this and get it done. I'm all in. Hope you are, too. Enjoy and embrace your new home and all that it represents. My lease is renewed, and I'm all in 🎈We're on this journey together.
You spoke directly to me in this podcast, Cas. I am a master at self-sabotage. I repeatedly chose to not challenge myself both for fear of failure and fear of success. So many bad choices (or failure to make a choice, which amounted to the same thing), resulting in a wasted life. Regrets, I’ve had a few ….., but for me too many to mention!
I know where you are coming from. But, lets face it, you have worked hard to achieve what you have got. Its not giving in, its a reward for all your hard work and you deserve it. Embrace it and enjoy it, it proves to everyone, what you can achieve with hard work and making good choices. The stories you have told yourself in the past were coping mechanisms for that time - we move beyond those times and need to change narratives as we evolve
Thank you for talking about this. You were speaking for me! When you talked about always buying a used car or not wearing name-brand clothes because of some underlying principle of frugality, it really hit home to me. O totally feel that way. I have often said to my husband that we don't need to increase our possessions or buy fancier or more expensive things when we begin to earn more. We do enjoy that we can make more generous and regular donations to charities of our choice that align with our values. Sometimes I take frugality too far and spend too much time and energy to find something that we need from an online local marketplace instead of spending a little extra money to just go get a new one from the store. In my mind, it's more frugal and environmentally responsible, but it is not always necessary for me to do it that way. We moved from a small urban apartment two years ago to a more spacious detached home with a yard. We needed the space as we had just had our fourth child and we could not find an apartment in the city that reasonably fit our family. I was so happy about our move, but there also was shame in having old friends over that would see our new home. I sometimes feel like I am not allowed to make it nice, furnish or organize or clean or to make it as nice as it could be, as if it would be prideful if I took care of this new home. I have felt a need to rationalize and explain, even though our friends and family have been genuinely happy for us. I am trying to get over the shame and urge to self-sabatage by regularly inviting people over, so I have company coming that motivates me to get moving.
Interesting… my Mom COULD NOT go to bed at night with a dish in the sink. Now I’m the opposite, dishes pile for days and days! I’m not proud of that, but it’s one of the cleaning mental blocks I constantly deal with!! Our home growing up was clean but lived in and not cluttered. I used to think perfect homes were nice but who would want that? Now I want that lol 😂 My sister says “you’re obsessive about your house these days!” Except dishes 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
I have found something so almost comforting about simplifying and being “into” my house again. Today i cleaned my carpets and feel happier then i have in a long time. Ive been reclaiming my home and focusing on details. Things i was too busy to make room for in my head space. Being able to reset and love my home a little bit more again has given me a peace and calm Ive been craving.
Aw Cass, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Just try to remember, it's not like somebody gave you this new home, you worked for it, you earned it, and YOU DESERVE IT!
I didn’t enjoy my last home. It was beautiful, but I had to be taught to declutter!! Don’t waste a day enjoying your home. You have helped so many others.
Thank you Cas I needed this message today. I understand that most of my problems are inside my own head too. It's such a hopeful message that I can change the narrative and it won't be so so hard to do the things I truly want to do that feel impossible.
It's 9:30pm on a Saturday night & packing & decluttering and purging my old stuff. Good news, I'm moving in 6 weeks 😊 Thanks for your encouragement tonight ❤ I really need a friend tonight.
I really hope that you enjoy your new home - you shouldn't be ashamed of anything in it... be joyful - you and Joe have worked REALLY hard to get to upgrade your home. YOU DESERVE IT!! This self sabotage conversation is so on point for me lately. I'm having to fight to tidy my home and keep up with my journal. Every time I get down / discouraged at the amount of stuff I need to do, I hear you / Dawn / Christine / others pumping me up... and not because you all are perfect, but because you have done it and keep fighting thru it - I am SOOOO grateful for you. I can't wait to see you organizing / decorating your new home! I can't wait to see all the cool ideas you have for getting settled. That outdoor area is going to be fantastic for family time and decorating... can't wait to see!!! We have a beautifully concreted patio that I don't know what to do with so please share. Every space you have, whether you think you deserve it or not (and you do) is going to inspire us in so many ways. THANK YOU CASS for always being you and pushing us to be the best we can be in ourselves!!
Girl, I feel you sooo bad… I think you have a deeper issue, just like I do - I feel guilty if I have things that make me feel happy 🙈 I hope we take ourselves out of this vicious circle and start living with ease and peace with ourselves ❤
CLEAN‼️toys can be all over the place BUT .. If my sheets are clean , my toilets done , floors vacuumed and washed weekly also laundry in process ( it’s never Done) then I’m good … I declutter once a week at least , my house declutter has taken 3 years .. I’m not a hoarder or anything it’s just that in the beginning you declutter differently… and present day I go at it with a vengeance ❤❤❤
Cas, I am only 9 minutes in but I can relate! While we have different life experiences, I also have felt that consumerism in many forms is bad and shameful. Same with pointing out only the bad things in a new home, never buying a new car, and avoiding "splurge" or brand name purchases. You totally should enjoy a new home that you like, that feels great, and that meets your family's needs. There is nothing wrong with that! I hope you do find joy in your new home. Thanks for your insights on this episode today ♥
I am so happy for you! An outdoor kitchen is amazing! You are gonna have so much fun and you deserve it, YOU ARE WORTHY! And you have helped so many people. You have been the spark in so many people's lives that have allowed them to have a life that they never would have dreamed possible.
I needed to hear this today, thank you! I have been doing this and didn’t recognize what I was doing. Time for a little self therapy and a mindshift change. I hope that you are able to overcome the self defeating thoughts and really celebrate this new time in your life. You are a hard worker and have sacrificed a lot to get what you have. We are celebrating your success with you. Sending love to you and your family! You got this girl!!!
Cas we cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. How about starting your morning by listing 3 things you like about the house and when you start thinking the negative just say to yourself that's not true, this is what I like. I know you know this. You are wonderful and amazing. You have had a wonderful influence on my life and I am so grateful
I’ve known this feeling. I’ve not listened to the entire podcast yet, it’s still running. So you may mention this. Its like shame but for me I felt like an imposter. I’m not ‘one of them’ who had the …whatever. I feared being called out on it. It took some work and distancing from certain friends. I learned to feel like I deserved better. Now I’m working on learning that I deserve an uncluttered home!!
I started saying "I don't do..." it reinforces that those thoughts or feelings aren't welcome! So if you start to feel bad about your new home you could say something like "I dont do shame"! Some guru type person talked about it and the science behind it and I have found it helpful! AND Congratulations on your new home! For the record you have helped so many of us I think we are all celebrating with you and excited to see whatever you share of your new home! You earned it, enjoy it to the fullest!
Cas, you worked hard on both your career and your marriage. You and Joe yotally deserve a walk-in closet! I am so looking forward to the video The Container Store will sponsor just to see what y'all do with it. 🎉
I was gonna say, you must not be super excited for the new house, else you’d be totally motivated and already be all packed!! So you just said/admitted it. And you know what, I applaud you for how you feel about materialistic stuff and staying frugal and not keeping up with the Joneses! You’re awesome! 👏 enjoy this home but stay true to yourself!! ❤ love ya lady.
I totally relate to this. I've struggled financially and even physically most of my life. I'm in my late forties and as my situation gets better, there's actually some sense of nostalgia or bittersweetness to leaving some of that struggle behind because it's such a part of my identity; that I'm a warrior who has overcome so much. And without it, what am I? Not that I think I'm worthless without the struggle, but I'm just saying it's kind of an underlying tone that's always humming in the background to the point I push people away and don't allow help, or seek help. It really is self sabotage. Anyway, I hope you're truly enjoying the lovely home and life that you've worked hard for and deserve. Change is always uncomfortable even if it's positive. People are weird, lol 😂 and the knowledge and recognition of this identity clutter of a mindset is so huge. Hopefully we can all declutter this kind of mental clutter. ❤
How wonderfully brave you are to share all this. You DO work hard and deserve this beautiful new home. Now, go get the rest of your family and start packing!
I've done this so many times to myself. I've worked hard to get my house to the point I love it but old habits come out and I let it get bad again. God gave me the tools and motivation to get my reward. Enjoy your gift of a new house and start packing!
I decluttered a whole box of books while listening because I realized that keeping all of those books was my fantasy self. I haven’t read a book in over a year, time for some to go.
Enjoy your home and all good things in your life (Kate Spade purses, ect...) to the fullest!!! I look at it as if it's almost your responsibility to find the utmost joy in your life so that people like me can see what's possible if we just try and try again! I'm so happy for you and your family! Always remember that words and thoughts do have power and tell yourself that you are worthy of this, because you are!
Thanks, Cas! I relate! Clearing shame is the work. Any time you say "never" or "always", really check in to see if it is true. That's "all or nothing thinking" and is usually inaccurate. Also, our children hear what we're saying to ourselves and take it in as something about themselves. We're teaching our children how to think and talk about and treat themselves. Maybe start with a walk, then a fast walk, then a run. Allow yourself to build to it, just like you did for decluttering and organizing. You didn't start with "running", you walked first. 💖💖 Enjoy your walk-in closet. They're the BEST!!
Don't change Cass. You're down to earth persona your authentic self is great , it's a big part of why your channel has been so successful. Don't lose that! you don't want to become a Keeping up with the " Joneses" TH-cam version of your real self. That seems to be an ongoing pitfall for many once great relatable TH-camrs. The original is absolutely fantastic. Keep it real girl. Hey, remember what happened to Coke... They just couldn't leave a good thing alone😂 You rock!
Cass, you are an amazing woman. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty about a topic that many of us deal with. I'm so excited to see the new home and all the good things about it and the dreams you have for some changes. What a great opportunity to stretch your creativity. You get a chance to have a nice place to be able to enjoy time with your family and friends. Enjoy your journey of making this a home that is cozy and inviting. I for one am SOOOOO looking forward to the videos you will share and the transformations you will make, whether big or small. Thank you for the inspiration you continue to be for me on my decluttering journey (my home and with myself). Blessings to you! ❣
Cass, I lived in my minivan after losing my job and apartment that I had for almost 10 years. I am now on disability and live in low income housing. BUT, Cass, BE HAPPY!! Even PROUD of your new home and ALL YOUR HARD WORK to get there. I am PROUD of you. You help so many others with your clutter bug content. Girl, own it and LOVE IT!! BTW….. I don’t have a lot, but, I kept my designer handbags. Just saying….🤷🏻♀️. I do on occasion, give one away to a friend. Don’t want anyone coveting. ( all handbag purchases were from thrift stores and resale shops). They don’t have to be new.
Hey Rita - I got tired of Kohl's / Target / Walmart handbags starting to fray and fall apart after a few months... I live near 3 different outlets that have Coach, Kate Spade and Michael Kors... I was NEVER a designer label person, but dang they are so cute and last FOREVER! I love my bags and when after several years I get tired of one / two I donate to our Salvation Army store - they still look amazing and now someone else gets to enjoy... worth every penny I pay at the outlets! - so I totally agree with you - we work hard, we should enjoy something we love!!!
You change people's lives helping them declutter. It has a huge impact mentally, emotionally, confidently and with self-esteem. You should never feel shame for that house. You worked hard for it, your earned it and deserve nice things just like your clients. You are not showing off, you're not rubbing it people's faces out of spite. You are too down to earth and humble for that. And you've many times told stories and shown everyone even you aren't perfect because that's life and we all go through it. You are totally relatable and admired. Enjoy your new home and feel good about what you have achieved. It's inspiration.
You are a lady bug and a lightening bug and you are helping all of us clutter bugs out here. May God bless you for that, and please enjoy that new home you deserve!
I have been self sabotaging for 7 years. I bought a house. And I have never felt truly happy in it. Even though I looked for house for years and when I saw this my gut feeling was perfect. I have been all negative about it. And never really had it all set up. I have been decluttering for years and I’m glad for the main areas. But never got one room and the basement done. Two months ago I had to decide whether to sell or redue the mortgage. I went deep thinking why I never loved the house. It’s because ‘I always loose the things I love + nothing good lasts + you end up broke and loose it anyways’. I have kept my house. Determined to love it. I’m 15 mins in the video and my face are wet from tears. You are talking directly to my soul. I really badly want to stop self sabotaging. (Perhaps I’ll stop doing it in love areas as well to then). Im read to heal. We deserve to be Happy, loved, have Nice things, live Nice and we deserve to keep it. ❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️ love from Jossefin
Thank you Cass! I went back to my journal and searched for self sabotage and it was a month ago that I had two entries on this for my studio. That space used to be our den before we moved my Mom in with us. She was only here for a year before the Lord called her home and then it was empty for a while. I slowly filled it up with still life props and furniture to hold those things. Things were getting out of control but I donated some stuff. Enjoyed it for a while and then filled it again. Now I have an art table in there as well as a table for still life and I’m telling myself I deserve to have that happy space just for me. My Mom would want that and my husband is all for it…I just have to tell myself that and live it out. Thank you for being vulnerable. Enjoy your beautiful home! You have worked hard for it. 💗
thank you for sharing. I can absolutely relate to your feeling of cognitive dissonance. I’m glad you said that we can put down the baggage, and we can do it together. Way to go! I hope you can enjoy your walk-in closet.
Cas….THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF YOUR MOST POWERFUL TH-cam videos to date! We ALL need to hear this message of celebrating the BLESSINGS in life! You HAVE worked hard and you have EARNED the right to have what you can afford and what you find joy in…..DO NOT allow the spirit of SHAME to come upon you. You are a blessing to so many of us and you have been blessed! Allow this new home to be a blessing to others and allow this video to speak to others so that they can be inspired to being grateful for what they have and not feel they have to excuse or explain why they have what they have. You are leading many of us who can identify with where you are so start with your NEW narrative and “walk in it.” You are a beautiful soul and I love your vulnerability in THIS video. Thank you!!! Love you gal!❤
Having watched your progress and hard work over the past like 15years, you totally deserve all the success you have (and then some!!!) You deserve your beautiful new dream home and everything it enables you to continue doing 👏😘
Cass … enjoy your walk in closet AND your light colored cabinets AND all the pull outs in your new kitchen. Pretend you are talking to ME and say those same words to YOU ❤ I am SO excited to see each and every one of your new “moving in” videos !!
I’m not so much a self sabotager as I overestimate the amount of energy I have and how much it will take to get the job done. We went through a MASSIVE declutter. What helped us declutter was moving. I had a deadline and had a limited amount of POD space, so my initial declutters of 20 years of basement stash was painful but rewarding. Now that we are moved in, I have a simpler but harder job of scraping off the extra bits - but of things I liked enough to pack but don’t fit. It’s less pressured in terms of time but more emotional. Things I felt worth my attention that I now feel I wasted time and energy taking care of. It makes me question my judgment. Is what I have worth the time, trouble and expense of owning? Things I thought were fabulous I now look at as money sinks. Is that really worth owning??
Awww Cas! You do deserve your new home. You work hard and you deserve to live a life you earned...even a bigger house! Please know you are able to inspire others due to your following and channel...that is nothing to feel guilt or shame about. You are able to help others by allowing them to see your story and watch you grow
You are staring into my soul with this one! I was the tidiest teen you ever saw but had kids in early 20s and married a narcissist who criticised my cleaning so I gave up being proud of my efforts. He took over most parts of the house with his hoarding. 20yrs later he worked away from home so I didn’t bother cleaning until a few days before he came home. Rural properties get extra dirt and bugs inside. Newly single I have to change my mindset and tidying schedule and own all spaces in my home which has the added angle renovating to get of rid of the bad memories here. Thank you Cass for being one of my shoulder angels.
I'm loving your podcast episodes! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your truth, it helps a lot to put things in perspective. Much love from Uruguay!
I grew up with hand me downs, I learned to make my own clothes. Even after I was married, we lived week to week. We raised 4 kids in a house that would fit in my present garage. 20 years ago after my children were grown we bought a large house. This house is nicer than anything that I have ever lived in. It has taken me 20 years to feel that this house actually belongs to me. I finally see that we have worked hard all our lives and should enjoy our retirement, including our beautiful home in the woods. It is so peaceful here.
Thars such a lightbulb moment - self sabotage! I do it with regard to my eating habits and lack of exercise. I have often said I'm not very good at exercising or I don't like it. But when i did i enjoyed the results. I think im afraid of the failure of not getting to a "goal". But I really should set a small goal and see where I get to.: 1lb loss..20 minutes walk daily...cut out crisps... Cass you've fired me up. ❤
I have never connected with someone more than you in this video! The part about the husband and being a martyr is something that has been passed down through generations, and I am purposefully working through shedding that! Thank you for this video!!!!!
It’s hard to change our inner voice, it’s hard to overcome our childhood trauma. It’s ok if you struggle, but as you are here for us, we are here for you. Until proven otherwise, this is it, one life, remind yourself you are worthy of joy, contentment and love. Even if you didn’t help all of us, you would still deserve to be happy. I personally am excited for you and your new home. I want to see all of it and see how you organize and decorate…think of all the new content (maybe thinking that will help ease the guilt a little) 🧡🖤🧡 The happiest season is right around the corner, let’s all find what brings us joy!!!🎃👻🧡🖤🧡
@ 9:00 You mentioned feeling something is “too fancy for [yourself]” and I immediately thought “oh, it’s too good for me” or “I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH [deserving of] for this. I think it comes from my belief that one shouldn’t “show off” or display [vulgar] signs of wealth/conspicuous consumption. That I should be humble and NOT FAKE, maybe not lord it over others. See how quickly that escalated! Funny that in my early adulthood I really didn’t feel self conscious about any of that. (1970s) I pretty much wore what I wanted to and enjoyed feeling attractive and positive. Example: Back then I bought (on lay-away!) a wonderful long embroidered Afghan coat (think Almost Famous or Forrest Gump’s girlfriend) and wore it all the time for several years. It made me happy to wear it and I felt like it made other people happy to see it. I still have it, by the way, as a piece of art in my house. But after a few years and a few times being knocked down by life, now I understand the not good enough feeling. Or maybe more I don’t want to feel that OTHER PEOPLE will think I am showing off-not about that coat (I can’t fit it and probably wouldn’t wear it now even if I could) I feel sometimes that I will be challenged over whether I DESERVE whatever it is, material or spiritual. I cringe when I see so many overt over-consumers Ala Kardashian, or even non celebrities. And, yes, my (underneath it all) beautiful, restful, nurturing and very “ME” bedroom is buried under stuff-most of which could easily be tossed. Now, back to your video ❤
Oh man, you hit the nail on the head with me today. I'm a widow 67 yr.old and raising my 3 grandsons and have a major back disability which allows me down. Being honest here, my house has really horribly suffered, and yes, the boys help, but I totally now understand what you are saying. And yes, you have worked hard, and you most certainly deserve your new home. Thank you so much for this wonderful podcast. I really needed it!💞💞
Totally makes sense-insightful and vulnerable of you to process with us. What you describe goes along with a “poverty mentality”. Many of us struggle with these sort of things-thanks for sharing your perspective.
Thanks Cass for sharing your personal thoughts and struggles. I pray that you and your family are blessed in your new house and fill it with love, laughter, and happiness. You deserve the best!
You’re amazing Cas ❤ 🙌🏻 You deserve your new home & all the things!!! You help others everyday! The universe is giving back to you now so Enjoy your new space with your family!! I appreciate you & all the wonderful content you share!!
Thank you so much for this. I've self sobotaged everything in my life at every turn and sadly it's just "re-affirmed" my beliefs over time. I'm currently 33, I lost the job I loved bc I assumed all along I would because it was too good, I lost the space I lived in that I loved, I'll soon be losing the car that I love, I lost my best relationship, and I'm quite near becoming homeless. But if I look back, that's exactly what I grew up with, my parents stayed together but they were miserable, my mom and dad lost their jobs, they went bankrupt and lost the house, etc. I worked so hard for the things I'd gained but I was never able to say "you deserve this", I always felt like a fake somehow. Again, thank you for this, I am hopeful to move forward working hard and actually allowing myself to recognize that I've earned what I have in my life and there is no shame in having more than I ever thought possible ❤
Hey Sunshine! Thank you for all of your content and supporting our needs! You are amazing! Brass tacks, Cognitive Dissonance has more to deal with the feeling of worthiness. The saboteur will bring everything into alignment with what we believe. When we believe that we are unworthy, we will do everything in our power to make sure that the physical plane matches the mental plane. The self-sabotager has one job, and one job only; to make sure that there is no dissonance between what we feel in our head (the mental/the beliefs) and the physical/environment that we live in and experience.
Dear Cas, thank you for this illuminating podcast; it most definitely pertains to the mindset I had... until now. The insights you share cut through the stories I've told myself. I can accept that I can create the life I deserve (though "deserve" has always been an iffy word for me - work in progress!) by letting go of self-sabotage and limiting, small thinking. All the best to you as you make your new house your new home. 💖☮🌞
Aloha Cas, I can so relate to every single thing you were saying. It could have come from my own mouth!! I, too, don't think I deserve anything. I moved to Hawaii from Canada over 28 years ago and I still feel bad telling people I live in Hawaii!! It's ridiculous!! I've only come to be able to say I live in Hawaii because that's where my grandkids were born and I have to raise them there because of this and that. I always feel like I have to justify myself!! After listening to you, I know how ridiculous it sounds! 😆 I always say, but I live in my parents downstairs as if that will make it all better and take away my guilt. So please know how much you have helped so many, including myself and especially today and please please enjoy your move and your house and remember you are also providing a home for your children to make new memories in, you are making a space for you and your husband to thrive in and you are making space to grow your business!! We all need you to be in a productive space that works for you so we can continue to enjoy these AHA moments with you. Please 🙏 We can live vicariously through you, don't take it away from us. 😃 We are feeling so much joy for you right now. Also remember if you just say negative things about your house to people, it can sound as if you are ungrateful, not humble, and it also sets a bad example for your kids. Thrive in the moment, rejoice with your family, build up the excitement for everyone! I would also forget a vacation until you are packed. That could give you some incentive to pack quickly so you can go!!
Its so healthy to discuss these things, bring our issues into the light, be honest with ourselves, so we can find our better happier peaceful path for our homes and our lives❤
How wonderful and exciting to have a new house and oh wow, an outdoor kitchen! You go girl! We all deserve to get what we want! Some of us just take longer to get there. You are so right; we talk to ourselves more than to any other person and what we say and how we feel when we say it matters a lot. I truly beleive thoughts become things. And I needed to hear this today; I have a fledgling business (I have dairy goats and make goat milk soap and lotion) and sell locally but have tons of people wanting me to ship.... but I've been terrified of taking the steps to do so! Even tho I know this would increase my sales exponentially. Even tho it would grow my business by a lot.... but yeah, cost of shipping "oh man, that's too much, no body is going to pay almost $10 shipping for this little thing" and "Oh man it cost so much even for shipping a padded envelope and it's going to get crushed and ruined..." And there are some other easy money opportunities that I have been procrastinating about in the worst way..... like I've always been on the poor side, my whole life and I guess I should stay that way? That's crazy pants, isn't it? Thanks for being here Cass because you do help soooo many people and you are such an encouragement to me and your 'confession' today has helped open my eyes to what I'm doing to myself to keep me down....
Thank you Cas. You should feel so proud of everything you have achieved. I need to tell myself this too. I love everything you say and appreciate it all. ❤❤
I know this podcast was months ago but it just popped up on my feed. So, I’m thinking “ why not watch it?!” I’m sooo very glad I did bc it’s exactly what I needed to hear to make some sort of progress in my life. Cass…. You deserve that new house! You worked hard for it, ENJOY IT! Thank you so much for doing what you do. It enspires me!
My boss one told me (after I said something negative about myself) don't talk about my friend like that! So I'll say to you, don't talk about my friend like that! You deserve all the things, you deserve the closet and the home you have waited so long for, and you WILL enjoy it 😂
This don’t talk about my friend like that!
Love this! Gonna steal it - for a friend who does this all the time! Thank you!
@@MrsTigerbalm 💞
I say this to my kids when they get down in themselves. "Hey, dont talk about my kid like that"
Why would you volunteer something negative about yourself to your boss of all people?
I am seeing a therapist. Her name is Cass, and it's called the Clutterbug Podcast. Thank you for doing this for me and all your listeners.
GREAT comment! 😄 Totally agree!
I totally agree. This has blown my mind
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I love your videos and podcasts. They've been Lifesavers for me. I was wondering if you could either talk louder or increase the volume on your end. Sometimes it sounds to my 67 year old ears as if you are speaking very low. I can't increase the volume on my end. I don't want to miss a single word.
Truth, I too feel our house is too fancy for us @Clutterbug, but then I was told the first week I moved in that I couldn't keep it clean by, my mother, her sisters, and finally my mother-in-law. They were all invited, behind my back as a SURPRISE by my mother, to come and help clean it before we moved in since it was only new to us but had already been lived in for 10 years by the original owners. The all came the day, I had invited my mother-in-law to come help move all my perennials and raspberry and blueberry bushes. Needless to say I didn't have the fun time to move into the first home we have ever owned, I never got to take any of the perenials from our rented place we had lived in for 8 years, which was a well kept home other than the several floods we lived through, all of a sudden I couldn't maintain my home, my chores, my job, my kids, my health even went so far in the dumps that I ended up disabled. I have the piles to prove we have lived here for 15 years while I drowned and my husband became my caretaker instead of my husband. You are the light that shines through our darkness, we are now working through the shame and self-hatred we have lived with all our lives.
While listening to this video, I cleaned off my desk down to a handful of things to do. Also, I washed 2 loads of laundry, and 1 is almost finished. Now, it's back to dishes that have been soaking while I did other stuff. I listen to your videos while I'm doing other stuff I don't want to do. Thanks for these videos.
Cass, in all the All Day Declutters on TYHB, you end up crying, telling us we deserve this. You have changed so many lives, including mine. YOU DESERVE THIS! Enjoy your new house. ❤
All of this resonates with me.
I had the same upbringing and I rebelled against tidy homes. My condescending mantra about tidy homes was "It looks like no one lives here". "I" now have a tidy home (thanks to you, Dawn and Dana). It took 3 years (which included a move), but now it's a lifestyle. Even THAT was a surprise. I told myself NEVER AGAIN, and while that is true, things really do come back in. Gifts and material things are a part of life. De-cluttering HAS to be a lifestyle.
Cass, please enjoy your WALK IN CLOSET for all of us who would love to have that and do not (for whatever reason). I think that is every woman's dream closet. 🤤
Oh Cass! Big hugs! As a pastor's wife, I completely understand the guilt of having nice things and struggling to accept that you deserve them. I am worried if I wear something too nice or nice jewelry or such to church that someone will think we are wasting money or that they are paying the pastor too much (not even remotely true). It doesn't matter that my husband and I both work other jobs. It is still hard to give myself that permission. And food and exercise??!? I daily struggle with THAT self-sabotage! So please know that I hear you; I get you. Thank you for being so open and honest. Your willingness to be open and vulnerable is helping so many of us. I wish I could come and help you pack and move. You have helped me so much (along with Dawn and Dana) in transforming my home. It isn't fast or perfect, but I'm getting there and feeling the peace that comes with letting go of the stuff. I'm there with you, body-doubling in spirit! One step at a time. I know you can do it. And I know you deserve it; keep up the good self-talk. ❤
If the flock is that shallow and judgmental, the sermons aren’t hitting their mark…time to move on to a better community?
@@marylut6077 I am sorry I was not clear. No one is making me feel that way; I do it to myself. I was speaking to the topic of self-sabotage. In reality, I have never had anyone in the congregation ever say or do anything to make me feel like I don't deserve nice things.
You feel a responsibility and that can make sense but I would want to know that this person / family that is trying to help me and our community takes proper care of themselves and treats themselves to nice / quality things in their life. It would make me feel like God is taking care of these people that mean so much to me... hopefully you can think of it that way!!
God wants to bless us! Crack open the Bible to read the BOATLOADS of verses where He is trying to chase us down the street with blessings. Please TAKE THOSE BLESSINGS!!!
Oh, sister. The Prov. 31 woman was wearing FINE linen of scarlet and purple - high quality, pricey cloth is what she sold and wore - and her household. She was not a pauper in rags. And Paul reminded the early church that "a worker is worthy of his wage." Worthy. Humble but still not wrong to live a comfortable life. There's a big difference between that and greed & vanity. I don't think that's what is in your heart. 🤗 God bless you with joy, peace, and great style. 😉 ✝️🐑🙏❤️🥳💃
Very insightful, Cas! I had a similar revelation 20 years ago. I was always in debt until someone told me I was more comfortable being poor than rich. Poor people were good people and rich were unhappy people. Once I grasped this hidden thought I was able to overcome it and now I'm debt free! Enjoy your new home that you both worked for. It's a gift TO each other and a gift for your children ❤️
When your packing say “I deserve this” out loud to yourself. When you get to the new house say “I deserve this, my family deserves this.” When unpacking in your new home “I deserves this my family deserves this” you have to say it out loud so your body registers it and changes your thinking. Keep doing that. New clothing any brand “I deserve this”, new shoes “I deserve this” etc
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Yes remember that whole state thing you were on a roll about a while ago. I don’t remember the other thing that went with it but change your state!
I really like this, and will use it, even for the little things as well as the hard work I need to put onto a project. Thank you. It really us the little things that makes a huge difference.
No one”deserves this”, but instead how about “I am grateful for this”, “my family is is grateful for this.”
Oh, Cas, I just love you. Your psychological insightfulness and modeling of growth mindset are an inspiration, and the way you share your experiences so others can have better lives too is such a beautiful, generous thing.❤I hope you enjoy every blingtastic thing about your new house! You deserve it, and more! ❤🏡❤
One more thing, Cass, I have recently realized a new mindset regarding clutter cleaning etc. I have many friends who have hobbies ie painting, sewing, arts and crafts. I don’t do any of that! But I told my daughter recently that decluttering is my new hobby! And as I repeated this to my husband Bruce I was saying a hobby is something to be enjoyed! He asked do you enjoy decluttering and like a light 💡 bulb 💡 moment, I said YES!! It charges me up to do more!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and helping us out here get to a more simple and clutter free life!! ❤Barb
I spent my whole lifetime downplaying everything that I accomplished and everything I had because my sister was jealous. She couldn’t have these things and I didn’t want to upset her. DON’T DO IT! Enjoy your new house, make it the home you love. You have worked hard for this and you deserve it.
It's hard to be resilient sometimes. This was a good convo. It's almost like you're having low-key "survivors guilt," but no one died in this case. You just want to be relatable, and upgrading your house probably feels like you're leaving your relatability behind, so you're dragging your heels and self-sabatoging your move because you probably deep down don't want to feel like you deserve something so nice. Yes, there are a ton of people who don't have a way to get nicer stuff like this, and they also deserve it. It's next to impossible to feel like we CAN get anywhere and have nice things, especially these days when things are ridiculously expensive and out of reach for so many of us. If you can afford to live more comfortably, bonus! Though, I totally get feeling guilt and shame with feeling comfortable when so many people aren't all that fortunate. A lot of hard working people still can't afford a walk-in closet. A lot of people with money are stereotypically snobby, arrogant, jerks and unrelateable. I was lucky enough to know a rich family growing up that if you didn't know their story, you'd never know they were rich. They didn't dress fancy, and they were all smart, curious, down-to-earth people who never turned their nose up at others because of what they had. They were still relateable. You can still be rich and be the same person you were before you had possessions. You're still relateable and humble and do a great job of connecting with your audience. You do deserve this! Thanks again for sharing your feelings and being vulnerable, I know it's hard to do.
Yes! This! I do this too and I get it. It's a mind game. Battlefield of the Mind.
Love that survivors guilt does really relate in this case. Survived not being able to have nice stuff. You hopefully will get ok with it in time. Love that you share this. I think a lot of us have this to some degree its not that unheard of. Thank you for sharing. We need to talk these thing out.
@trishb6895 Yes! I was also thinking of surviving during hard times and thriving over others. When you know you work hard and so do others, but, you have the thing over others and you feel a bit of guilt and shame for having so much and some people don't have the same thing. You just want everyone to have equal amounts of stuff.
I was completely uncomfortable by simply sitting in the driver's seat of an $80K Tesla. I could barely breathe. I had to get out of the vehicle right away. I don't even remember what it looked like inside. I do remember the leather seat and how plush that felt. The moment completely scared me. I just couldn't relate to this type of luxury, or something so expensive. I've been sabotaging myself all my life, I completely understand. Thanks for the conversation.
I completely relate to this, Beverly! When our Ford Fiesta was in for repairs after an accident, the insurance company rolled up with a courtesy car - the most amazing-looking brand new spotless silvery grey Mercedes. I sat in the driver's seat for a couple of minutes and was totally intimidated, not only by the leather interior but also by the high tech dashboard, lack of keyhole for the ignition, computerised screens everywhere and sheer flawlessness of everything... I was so terrified by its grandeur and newness that I asked for an alternative, but this was the only one available. Can you believe I asked them to take it back, and managed without a car until the familiar little old Ford Fiesta was ready! I've never even regretted not having a drive in the Mercedes!
Kas, you deserve all the good things in your life. The work you do has set so many people free from guilt or clutter to allow them to manage their homes in a style that works for him, that work allowed you to afford to buy a new house with things you've always dreamed of having. So go dance in you walk in closet
Yes, think of it as us paying it forward. It's a gift from all your faithful fans for all you've done to help us! 😆 🤣 😂 😹
I want to jump on a plane from the UK right now to come help you pack Cass!
A light bulb moment for me in the past was that accepting help was not a weakness and that it was actually a gift to those around me who wanted to help and feel useful. I hope you get lots of offers for a packing party Cass 😊 or that you reach out to ask for help so you get to move into your beautiful new home that you deserve feeling loved and worthy and not too frazzled! ❤
I am 66 years old, but I totally understand and relate to how you are feeling about the new house. But please, “don’t do as I do, do as I say” - Please accept and enjoy your new house.
Are you saying you don’t feel worthy of something nice you have worked for? If yes, then why work towards anything?
You’re such a beautiful person. Remember your viewers aren’t living stagnant lives either. We’re either moving forward or backwards. Show us how to handle the forward transitions.
Thank you for putting all these feelings into words with examples.
You deserve everything you have. Our words have a lot of power and you deserve to speak positive things about yourself
Thanks Cas! Loved this chat! You inspire me.❤
I have cancer, and my house, over the last 8 years since diagnosis, has really gotten bad. But I am a bit more energetic, at least in fits and starts, right now, so I’ve been decluttering as I can! I appreciate your help so much and think that you’re incredibly helpful and positive. I’ve struggled with self sabotage my entire life, but somehow I end up managing to make it through every situation. It ends how it ends, but it always ends, if you know what I mean. Be kinder to yourself! You deserve it 💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼💖🫶🏼
Ceilings just made me realize why my move a year ago was SO awful! In 2020 I moved 1,000 miles from a 3/2/2, hoarder- like house to a 2/2 apartment. I was so proud of how i handled it, and purged (and purged!) After 15 months, the landlord decided to raise everyone's rent by $700/ month! My apartment was fine. I'm not picky, I don't need fancy - just a decent area, comfy place. When they raised the rent, i started looking around. Apartments in my 'new' area were at the same, new rates. But: they are all so much nicer. And, valet trash, and hardwood floors, granite counter tops, vaulted ceilings - gorgeous! The apartment I was in needed serious updates and they wanted the same rent I'm paying now. Intellectually, it was a no brainer - right? I got excited and signed the lease. Fast forward to the move. It was a sh** show. Felt like everything was surreal. Felt like a stranger in my own home. Now, I live alone and this place looks like a hoarder lives here. And I realized: I've never had this before. Always struggled, now i don't. I'm 57, and it's new. Your podcast helped me see what I'm doing, and why. Im being you not to do what I did. We've worked hard to get where we are, and we've earned it. We're just not used to it because we've not been 'here' before. How do we not go from where we've always be to where we are now without changing who we are? Guess what!?! I'm still me, and I'm still thrifty. I do have better things than before - but I'm not bougie, lol. Yet, I went back to surrounding myself with piles because it's some bizarre comfort zone. I deserve a new normal, and so do you! Here's a deal: I'll get after now, if you will. You've actually helped me so much, in so many areas. You've shown me my organizing style, which I promise I do use. My clutter is all related to one tiny part of my life. Everything else is organized and put away thanks to you, for the first time in my life. Glennon Doyle is right: "we can do hard things". So let's get after this and get it done. I'm all in. Hope you are, too. Enjoy and embrace your new home and all that it represents. My lease is renewed, and I'm all in 🎈We're on this journey together.
You spoke directly to me in this podcast, Cas. I am a master at self-sabotage. I repeatedly chose to not challenge myself both for fear of failure and fear of success. So many bad choices (or failure to make a choice, which amounted to the same thing), resulting in a wasted life. Regrets, I’ve had a few ….., but for me too many to mention!
Your 3rd sentence is me 110%. Thanks for saying it and giving me even more ambition to begin to follow thru on one of my goals!
We’re all on a healing journey. You bring so much encouragement, inspiration, and value to your audience. Thanks Cass! 🕊🌿🌷✨💕
I listened to you Cass as I walked my 30 mins which is how long this vid was. Such great wisdom and you deserve your new house and then some!!
I know where you are coming from. But, lets face it, you have worked hard to achieve what you have got. Its not giving in, its a reward for all your hard work and you deserve it. Embrace it and enjoy it, it proves to everyone, what you can achieve with hard work and making good choices. The stories you have told yourself in the past were coping mechanisms for that time - we move beyond those times and need to change narratives as we evolve
Thank you for talking about this. You were speaking for me! When you talked about always buying a used car or not wearing name-brand clothes because of some underlying principle of frugality, it really hit home to me. O totally feel that way. I have often said to my husband that we don't need to increase our possessions or buy fancier or more expensive things when we begin to earn more. We do enjoy that we can make more generous and regular donations to charities of our choice that align with our values. Sometimes I take frugality too far and spend too much time and energy to find something that we need from an online local marketplace instead of spending a little extra money to just go get a new one from the store. In my mind, it's more frugal and environmentally responsible, but it is not always necessary for me to do it that way.
We moved from a small urban apartment two years ago to a more spacious detached home with a yard. We needed the space as we had just had our fourth child and we could not find an apartment in the city that reasonably fit our family. I was so happy about our move, but there also was shame in having old friends over that would see our new home. I sometimes feel like I am not allowed to make it nice, furnish or organize or clean or to make it as nice as it could be, as if it would be prideful if I took care of this new home. I have felt a need to rationalize and explain, even though our friends and family have been genuinely happy for us. I am trying to get over the shame and urge to self-sabatage by regularly inviting people over, so I have company coming that motivates me to get moving.
22:25. Affirmations from Cass 💕
Interesting… my Mom COULD NOT go to bed at night with a dish in the sink. Now I’m the opposite, dishes pile for days and days! I’m not proud of that, but it’s one of the cleaning mental blocks I constantly deal with!! Our home growing up was clean but lived in and not cluttered. I used to think perfect homes were nice but who would want that? Now I want that lol 😂 My sister says “you’re obsessive about your house these days!” Except dishes 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
I have found something so almost comforting about simplifying and being “into” my house again. Today i cleaned my carpets and feel happier then i have in a long time. Ive been reclaiming my home and focusing on details. Things i was too busy to make room for in my head space. Being able to reset and love my home a little bit more again has given me a peace and calm Ive been craving.
You DO deserve this beautiful house! You have worked for it!
Aw Cass, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Just try to remember, it's not like somebody gave you this new home, you worked for it, you earned it, and YOU DESERVE IT!
I didn’t enjoy my last home. It was beautiful, but I had to be taught to declutter!! Don’t waste a day enjoying your home. You have helped so many others.
Thank you Cas I needed this message today. I understand that most of my problems are inside my own head too. It's such a hopeful message that I can change the narrative and it won't be so so hard to do the things I truly want to do that feel impossible.
It's 9:30pm on a Saturday night & packing & decluttering and purging my old stuff. Good news, I'm moving in 6 weeks 😊
Thanks for your encouragement tonight ❤ I really need a friend tonight.
I really hope that you enjoy your new home - you shouldn't be ashamed of anything in it... be joyful - you and Joe have worked REALLY hard to get to upgrade your home. YOU DESERVE IT!! This self sabotage conversation is so on point for me lately. I'm having to fight to tidy my home and keep up with my journal. Every time I get down / discouraged at the amount of stuff I need to do, I hear you / Dawn / Christine / others pumping me up... and not because you all are perfect, but because you have done it and keep fighting thru it - I am SOOOO grateful for you. I can't wait to see you organizing / decorating your new home! I can't wait to see all the cool ideas you have for getting settled.
That outdoor area is going to be fantastic for family time and decorating... can't wait to see!!! We have a beautifully concreted patio that I don't know what to do with so please share. Every space you have, whether you think you deserve it or not (and you do) is going to inspire us in so many ways. THANK YOU CASS for always being you and pushing us to be the best we can be in ourselves!!
Girl, I feel you sooo bad… I think you have a deeper issue, just like I do - I feel guilty if I have things that make me feel happy 🙈 I hope we take ourselves out of this vicious circle and start living with ease and peace with ourselves ❤
CLEAN‼️toys can be all over the place BUT .. If my sheets are clean , my toilets done , floors vacuumed and washed weekly also laundry in process ( it’s never Done) then I’m good … I declutter once a week at least , my house declutter has taken 3 years .. I’m not a hoarder or anything it’s just that in the beginning you declutter differently… and present day I go at it with a vengeance ❤❤❤
Cas, I am only 9 minutes in but I can relate! While we have different life experiences, I also have felt that consumerism in many forms is bad and shameful. Same with pointing out only the bad things in a new home, never buying a new car, and avoiding "splurge" or brand name purchases. You totally should enjoy a new home that you like, that feels great, and that meets your family's needs. There is nothing wrong with that! I hope you do find joy in your new home. Thanks for your insights on this episode today ♥
I am so happy for you! An outdoor kitchen is amazing! You are gonna have so much fun and you deserve it, YOU ARE WORTHY! And you have helped so many people. You have been the spark in so many people's lives that have allowed them to have a life that they never would have dreamed possible.
❤You helped me realize that I have self sabotaged so many parts of my own life.
I needed to hear this today, thank you! I have been doing this and didn’t recognize what I was doing. Time for a little self therapy and a mindshift change. I hope that you are able to overcome the self defeating thoughts and really celebrate this new time in your life. You are a hard worker and have sacrificed a lot to get what you have. We are celebrating your success with you. Sending love to you and your family! You got this girl!!!
You deserve to enjoy your new space! We are happy for you and can’t wait to see you make it your own
Cas we cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. How about starting your morning by listing 3 things you like about the house and when you start thinking the negative just say to yourself that's not true, this is what I like. I know you know this. You are wonderful and amazing. You have had a wonderful influence on my life and I am so grateful
I’ve known this feeling. I’ve not listened to the entire podcast yet, it’s still running. So you may mention this. Its like shame but for me I felt like an imposter. I’m not ‘one of them’ who had the …whatever. I feared being called out on it. It took some work and distancing from certain friends. I learned to feel like I deserved better. Now I’m working on learning that I deserve an uncluttered home!!
I started saying "I don't do..." it reinforces that those thoughts or feelings aren't welcome! So if you start to feel bad about your new home you could say something like "I dont do shame"! Some guru type person talked about it and the science behind it and I have found it helpful!
AND Congratulations on your new home! For the record you have helped so many of us I think we are all celebrating with you and excited to see whatever you share of your new home! You earned it, enjoy it to the fullest!
Cas, you worked hard on both your career and your marriage. You and Joe yotally deserve a walk-in closet! I am so looking forward to the video The Container Store will sponsor just to see what y'all do with it. 🎉
I was gonna say, you must not be super excited for the new house, else you’d be totally motivated and already be all packed!! So you just said/admitted it. And you know what, I applaud you for how you feel about materialistic stuff and staying frugal and not keeping up with the Joneses! You’re awesome! 👏 enjoy this home but stay true to yourself!! ❤ love ya lady.
I totally relate to this. I've struggled financially and even physically most of my life. I'm in my late forties and as my situation gets better, there's actually some sense of nostalgia or bittersweetness to leaving some of that struggle behind because it's such a part of my identity; that I'm a warrior who has overcome so much. And without it, what am I? Not that I think I'm worthless without the struggle, but I'm just saying it's kind of an underlying tone that's always humming in the background to the point I push people away and don't allow help, or seek help. It really is self sabotage. Anyway, I hope you're truly enjoying the lovely home and life that you've worked hard for and deserve. Change is always uncomfortable even if it's positive. People are weird, lol 😂 and the knowledge and recognition of this identity clutter of a mindset is so huge. Hopefully we can all declutter this kind of mental clutter. ❤
Thank you Cas. This has been a truly amazing teaching. Love your transparency. I can totally identify with what you’re saying.
How wonderfully brave you are to share all this. You DO work hard and deserve this beautiful new home. Now, go get the rest of your family and start packing!
I've done this so many times to myself. I've worked hard to get my house to the point I love it but old habits come out and I let it get bad again. God gave me the tools and motivation to get my reward. Enjoy your gift of a new house and start packing!
I decluttered a whole box of books while listening because I realized that keeping all of those books was my fantasy self. I haven’t read a book in over a year, time for some to go.
Enjoy your home and all good things in your life (Kate Spade purses, ect...) to the fullest!!! I look at it as if it's almost your responsibility to find the utmost joy in your life so that people like me can see what's possible if we just try and try again! I'm so happy for you and your family! Always remember that words and thoughts do have power and tell yourself that you are worthy of this, because you are!
Thanks, Cas! I relate! Clearing shame is the work. Any time you say "never" or "always", really check in to see if it is true. That's "all or nothing thinking" and is usually inaccurate. Also, our children hear what we're saying to ourselves and take it in as something about themselves. We're teaching our children how to think and talk about and treat themselves. Maybe start with a walk, then a fast walk, then a run. Allow yourself to build to it, just like you did for decluttering and organizing. You didn't start with "running", you walked first. 💖💖 Enjoy your walk-in closet. They're the BEST!!
Don't change Cass. You're down to earth persona your authentic self is great , it's a big part of why your channel has been so successful.
Don't lose that! you don't want to become a Keeping up with the " Joneses" TH-cam version of your real self. That seems to be an ongoing pitfall for many once great relatable TH-camrs. The original is absolutely fantastic. Keep it real girl.
Hey, remember what happened to Coke... They just couldn't leave a good thing alone😂
You rock!
Cass, you are an amazing woman. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty about a topic that many of us deal with. I'm so excited to see the new home and all the good things about it and the dreams you have for some changes. What a great opportunity to stretch your creativity. You get a chance to have a nice place to be able to enjoy time with your family and friends. Enjoy your journey of making this a home that is cozy and inviting. I for one am SOOOOO looking forward to the videos you will share and the transformations you will make, whether big or small. Thank you for the inspiration you continue to be for me on my decluttering journey (my home and with myself). Blessings to you! ❣
I always liked my new home best when it was empty, just before the moving van arrived!!!
Cass, I lived in my minivan after losing my job and apartment that I had for almost 10 years. I am now on disability and live in low income housing. BUT, Cass, BE HAPPY!! Even PROUD of your new home and ALL YOUR HARD WORK to get there. I am PROUD of you. You help so many others with your clutter bug content. Girl, own it and LOVE IT!!
BTW….. I don’t have a lot, but, I kept my designer handbags. Just saying….🤷🏻♀️. I do on occasion, give one away to a friend. Don’t want anyone coveting. ( all handbag purchases were from thrift stores and resale shops). They don’t have to be new.
Hey Rita - I got tired of Kohl's / Target / Walmart handbags starting to fray and fall apart after a few months... I live near 3 different outlets that have Coach, Kate Spade and Michael Kors... I was NEVER a designer label person, but dang they are so cute and last FOREVER! I love my bags and when after several years I get tired of one / two I donate to our Salvation Army store - they still look amazing and now someone else gets to enjoy... worth every penny I pay at the outlets! - so I totally agree with you - we work hard, we should enjoy something we love!!!
You change people's lives helping them declutter. It has a huge impact mentally, emotionally, confidently and with self-esteem. You should never feel shame for that house. You worked hard for it, your earned it and deserve nice things just like your clients. You are not showing off, you're not rubbing it people's faces out of spite. You are too down to earth and humble for that. And you've many times told stories and shown everyone even you aren't perfect because that's life and we all go through it. You are totally relatable and admired. Enjoy your new home and feel good about what you have achieved. It's inspiration.
I watched the tour earlier today. It's a beautiful house and YOU DESERVE IT!! This was a great podcast. I can relate. Thanks for the therapy!!❤
You are a lady bug and a lightening bug and you are helping all of us clutter bugs out here. May God bless you for that, and please enjoy that new home you deserve!
One of my new fav episodes from you to this day ❤
I have been self sabotaging for 7 years. I bought a house. And I have never felt truly happy in it. Even though I looked for house for years and when I saw this my gut feeling was perfect. I have been all negative about it. And never really had it all set up. I have been decluttering for years and I’m glad for the main areas. But never got one room and the basement done. Two months ago I had to decide whether to sell or redue the mortgage. I went deep thinking why I never loved the house. It’s because ‘I always loose the things I love + nothing good lasts + you end up broke and loose it anyways’. I have kept my house. Determined to love it. I’m 15 mins in the video and my face are wet from tears. You are talking directly to my soul. I really badly want to stop self sabotaging. (Perhaps I’ll stop doing it in love areas as well to then). Im read to heal. We deserve to be Happy, loved, have Nice things, live Nice and we deserve to keep it. ❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️ love from Jossefin
I agree with that if i love it ill lose it feeling too.
Thank you Cass! I went back to my journal and searched for self sabotage and it was a month ago that I had two entries on this for my studio. That space used to be our den before we moved my Mom in with us. She was only here for a year before the Lord called her home and then it was empty for a while. I slowly filled it up with still life props and furniture to hold those things. Things were getting out of control but I donated some stuff. Enjoyed it for a while and then filled it again. Now I have an art table in there as well as a table for still life and I’m telling myself I deserve to have that happy space just for me. My Mom would want that and my husband is all for it…I just have to tell myself that and live it out. Thank you for being vulnerable. Enjoy your beautiful home! You have worked hard for it. 💗
Outstanding Podcast! Perhaps you're best, Cass! You're talking about a subject that no one ever mentions!This really resonated with me.Thank you.
I appreciate you! Your honesty is so refreshing and it makes me feel not so bad because I don't do like others!
Boy did I need this podcast! Sending you love and tons of gratitude Cass!
🤗🥰😇
thank you for sharing. I can absolutely relate to your feeling of cognitive dissonance. I’m glad you said that we can put down the baggage, and we can do it together. Way to go! I hope you can enjoy your walk-in closet.
Cas….THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF YOUR MOST POWERFUL TH-cam videos to date!
We ALL need to hear this message of celebrating the BLESSINGS in life!
You HAVE worked hard and you have EARNED the right to have what you can afford and what you find joy in…..DO NOT allow the spirit of SHAME to come upon you. You are a blessing to so many of us and you have been blessed! Allow this new home to be a blessing to others and allow this video to speak to others so that they can be inspired to being grateful for what they have and not feel they have to excuse or explain why they have what they have.
You are leading many of us who can identify with where you are so start with your NEW narrative and “walk in it.” You are a beautiful soul and I love your vulnerability in THIS video. Thank you!!!
Love you gal!❤
Having watched your progress and hard work over the past like 15years, you totally deserve all the success you have (and then some!!!)
You deserve your beautiful new dream home and everything it enables you to continue doing 👏😘
Cass … enjoy your walk in closet AND your light colored cabinets AND all the pull outs in your new kitchen. Pretend you are talking to ME and say those same words to YOU ❤
I am SO excited to see each and every one of your new “moving in” videos !!
I almost switched video, until I looked around and realized so many points fit me. Thanks for keeping it real.
I’m not so much a self sabotager as I overestimate the amount of energy I have and how much it will take to get the job done.
We went through a MASSIVE declutter. What helped us declutter was moving. I had a deadline and had a limited amount of POD space, so my initial declutters of 20 years of basement stash was painful but rewarding. Now that we are moved in, I have a simpler but harder job of scraping off the extra bits - but of things I liked enough to pack but don’t fit. It’s less pressured in terms of time but more emotional. Things I felt worth my attention that I now feel I wasted time and energy taking care of. It makes me question my judgment. Is what I have worth the time, trouble and expense of owning? Things I thought were fabulous I now look at as money sinks. Is that really worth owning??
@ohthankg-dfo… AMEN!
Awww Cas! You do deserve your new home. You work hard and you deserve to live a life you earned...even a bigger house! Please know you are able to inspire others due to your following and channel...that is nothing to feel guilt or shame about. You are able to help others by allowing them to see your story and watch you grow
You are staring into my soul with this one! I was the tidiest teen you ever saw but had kids in early 20s and married a narcissist who criticised my cleaning so I gave up being proud of my efforts. He took over most parts of the house with his hoarding. 20yrs later he worked away from home so I didn’t bother cleaning until a few days before he came home. Rural properties get extra dirt and bugs inside. Newly single I have to change my mindset and tidying schedule and own all spaces in my home which has the added angle renovating to get of rid of the bad memories here. Thank you Cass for being one of my shoulder angels.
Poverty/scarcity is an absolutely legit traumatic event, it has very real and lasting effects that can take years to recover from.
Love this so much !!! We can’t change our mindset until we change our narrative. Thank you Cass
Thank you for saying this. You deserve to live in a nice place. You can afford it and you don't have to be ashamed for it.
I'm loving your podcast episodes! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your truth, it helps a lot to put things in perspective. Much love from Uruguay!
Thank you for your honesty and encouragement, Cas! Congratulations on your new home. Enjoy the blessing and the fruit of your labor 😊.
I grew up with hand me downs, I learned to make my own clothes. Even after I was married, we lived week to week. We raised 4 kids in a house that would fit in my present garage. 20 years ago after my children were grown we bought a large house. This house is nicer than anything that I have ever lived in. It has taken me 20 years to feel that this house actually belongs to me. I finally see that we have worked hard all our lives and should enjoy our retirement, including our beautiful home in the woods. It is so peaceful here.
Thars such a lightbulb moment - self sabotage! I do it with regard to my eating habits and lack of exercise. I have often said I'm not very good at exercising or I don't like it. But when i did i enjoyed the results. I think im afraid of the failure of not getting to a "goal". But I really should set a small goal and see where I get to.: 1lb loss..20 minutes walk daily...cut out crisps... Cass you've fired me up. ❤
I have never connected with someone more than you in this video! The part about the husband and being a martyr is something that has been passed down through generations, and I am purposefully working through shedding that! Thank you for this video!!!!!
It’s hard to change our inner voice, it’s hard to overcome our childhood trauma. It’s ok if you struggle, but as you are here for us, we are here for you. Until proven otherwise, this is it, one life, remind yourself you are worthy of joy, contentment and love. Even if you didn’t help all of us, you would still deserve to be happy. I personally am excited for you and your new home. I want to see all of it and see how you organize and decorate…think of all the new content (maybe thinking that will help ease the guilt a little) 🧡🖤🧡 The happiest season is right around the corner, let’s all find what brings us joy!!!🎃👻🧡🖤🧡
@ 9:00
You mentioned feeling something is “too fancy for [yourself]” and I immediately thought “oh, it’s too good for me” or “I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH [deserving of] for this.
I think it comes from my belief that one shouldn’t “show off” or display [vulgar] signs of wealth/conspicuous consumption. That I should be humble and NOT FAKE, maybe not lord it over others.
See how quickly that escalated!
Funny that in my early adulthood I really didn’t feel self conscious about any of that. (1970s) I pretty much wore what I wanted to and enjoyed feeling attractive and positive. Example: Back then I bought (on lay-away!) a wonderful long embroidered Afghan coat (think Almost Famous or Forrest Gump’s girlfriend) and wore it all the time for several years. It made me happy to wear it and I felt like it made other people happy to see it. I still have it, by the way, as a piece of art in my house.
But after a few years and a few times being knocked down by life, now I understand the not good enough feeling. Or maybe more I don’t want to feel that OTHER PEOPLE will think I am showing off-not about that coat (I can’t fit it and probably wouldn’t wear it now even if I could) I feel sometimes that I will be challenged over whether I DESERVE whatever it is, material or spiritual.
I cringe when I see so many overt over-consumers Ala Kardashian, or even non celebrities.
And, yes, my (underneath it all) beautiful, restful, nurturing and very “ME” bedroom is buried under stuff-most of which could easily be tossed.
Now, back to your video ❤
Oh man, you hit the nail on the head with me today. I'm a widow 67 yr.old and raising my 3 grandsons and have a major back disability which allows me down. Being honest here, my house has really horribly suffered, and yes, the boys help, but I totally now understand what you are saying. And yes, you have worked hard, and you most certainly deserve your new home. Thank you so much for this wonderful podcast. I really needed it!💞💞
I absolutely love this and needed this! Thank you because you're helping so many people
Totally makes sense-insightful and vulnerable of you to process with us. What you describe goes along with a “poverty mentality”. Many of us struggle with these sort of things-thanks for sharing your perspective.
This is SO, SO good. An organized home feels impossible, realizing I believe i cant do it. Thanks for this.
Thanks Cass for sharing your personal thoughts and struggles. I pray that you and your family are blessed in your new house and fill it with love, laughter, and happiness. You deserve the best!
You’re amazing Cas ❤ 🙌🏻 You deserve your new home & all the things!!! You help others everyday! The universe is giving back to you now so Enjoy your new space with your family!! I appreciate you & all the wonderful content you share!!
Thank you so much for this. I've self sobotaged everything in my life at every turn and sadly it's just "re-affirmed" my beliefs over time. I'm currently 33, I lost the job I loved bc I assumed all along I would because it was too good, I lost the space I lived in that I loved, I'll soon be losing the car that I love, I lost my best relationship, and I'm quite near becoming homeless. But if I look back, that's exactly what I grew up with, my parents stayed together but they were miserable, my mom and dad lost their jobs, they went bankrupt and lost the house, etc. I worked so hard for the things I'd gained but I was never able to say "you deserve this", I always felt like a fake somehow. Again, thank you for this, I am hopeful to move forward working hard and actually allowing myself to recognize that I've earned what I have in my life and there is no shame in having more than I ever thought possible ❤
Wow!!!! I do this all the time! My brother tells me that the struggle is between the ears!! Yes!
Hey Sunshine! Thank you for all of your content and supporting our needs! You are amazing! Brass tacks, Cognitive Dissonance has more to deal with the feeling of worthiness. The saboteur will bring everything into alignment with what we believe. When we believe that we are unworthy, we will do everything in our power to make sure that the physical plane matches the mental plane. The self-sabotager has one job, and one job only; to make sure that there is no dissonance between what we feel in our head (the mental/the beliefs) and the physical/environment that we live in and experience.
Dear Cas, thank you for this illuminating podcast; it most definitely pertains to the mindset I had... until now. The insights you share cut through the stories I've told myself. I can accept that I can create the life I deserve (though "deserve" has always been an iffy word for me - work in progress!) by letting go of self-sabotage and limiting, small thinking. All the best to you as you make your new house your new home. 💖☮🌞
Aloha Cas, I can so relate to every single thing you were saying. It could have come from my own mouth!! I, too, don't think I deserve anything. I moved to Hawaii from Canada over 28 years ago and I still feel bad telling people I live in Hawaii!! It's ridiculous!! I've only come to be able to say I live in Hawaii because that's where my grandkids were born and I have to raise them there because of this and that. I always feel like I have to justify myself!! After listening to you, I know how ridiculous it sounds! 😆 I always say, but I live in my parents downstairs as if that will make it all better and take away my guilt. So please know how much you have helped so many, including myself and especially today and please please enjoy your move and your house and remember you are also providing a home for your children to make new memories in, you are making a space for you and your husband to thrive in and you are making space to grow your business!! We all need you to be in a productive space that works for you so we can continue to enjoy these AHA moments with you. Please 🙏 We can live vicariously through you, don't take it away from us. 😃 We are feeling so much joy for you right now. Also remember if you just say negative things about your house to people, it can sound as if you are ungrateful, not humble, and it also sets a bad example for your kids. Thrive in the moment, rejoice with your family, build up the excitement for everyone! I would also forget a vacation until you are packed. That could give you some incentive to pack quickly so you can go!!
Its so healthy to discuss these things, bring our issues into the light, be honest with ourselves, so we can find our better happier peaceful path for our homes and our lives❤
How wonderful and exciting to have a new house and oh wow, an outdoor kitchen! You go girl! We all deserve to get what we want! Some of us just take longer to get there. You are so right; we talk to ourselves more than to any other person and what we say and how we feel when we say it matters a lot. I truly beleive thoughts become things. And I needed to hear this today; I have a fledgling business (I have dairy goats and make goat milk soap and lotion) and sell locally but have tons of people wanting me to ship.... but I've been terrified of taking the steps to do so! Even tho I know this would increase my sales exponentially. Even tho it would grow my business by a lot.... but yeah, cost of shipping "oh man, that's too much, no body is going to pay almost $10 shipping for this little thing" and "Oh man it cost so much even for shipping a padded envelope and it's going to get crushed and ruined..." And there are some other easy money opportunities that I have been procrastinating about in the worst way..... like I've always been on the poor side, my whole life and I guess I should stay that way? That's crazy pants, isn't it? Thanks for being here Cass because you do help soooo many people and you are such an encouragement to me and your 'confession' today has helped open my eyes to what I'm doing to myself to keep me down....
Thank you Cas. You should feel so proud of everything you have achieved. I need to tell myself this too. I love everything you say and appreciate it all. ❤❤
I know this podcast was months ago but it just popped up on my feed. So, I’m thinking “ why not watch it?!”
I’m sooo very glad I did bc it’s exactly what I needed to hear to make some sort of progress in my life. Cass…. You deserve that new house! You worked hard for it, ENJOY IT!
Thank you so much for doing what you do. It enspires me!