not attractive to a lot of woman- particularly ' alpha type'. She is going to have to be his ' therapist' at least on some level and she doesn't have the bandwidth as a career woman for that. He needs a nurturing type of woman ie more traditional and she knew it. I don't she's being arrogant or anything; in fact intelligent and considerate. She liked and respected him I'm sure in fact.
@@realMaxEffort I did not find her shallow at all. She wanted a confident man. He was not. I'm to old for her. Otherwise I would be there in hiking boots, bare feet or sandals. She wouldn't care. She's a nice girl. ALL STATEMENTS ARE MADE BY ME PERSONALLY AND HAVE NOT BEEN VERIFIED BY A CERTIFIED PSYCHOLOGIST OR VENTRILOQUIST.
He is definitely confident in being vulnerable but not feeling good enough is shown not only in his voice and words but also his facial expressions. For this reason and their other great lifestyle differences (traveling Vs. Not fond of this +his kids) I don't think that they would not choose each other for longterm anyways although they might have found eachother likeable.
Absolutely. He sounded like a calm and collected man, full of peace and tranquility. She noted that he had said that he felt that he wasn't good enough for her, so instead of reassuring him by seeing him again, she 'gave up' at the first hurdle because of that, and that she didn't get the connection that she wanted at that instant! So much for taking things slowly. Great shame. 🤔
Wow. This guy is just brilliant. He is so level headed and calm. I wish I’d grown up to be like him. Contrary to what is said, I think he is very self assured, knows exactly what he wants. He knew right away they had starkly different personalities and that it wouldn’t work out. Guess he’s just still in pain about his broken marriage and doesn’t wanna get hurt again. Wish him the best.
He's a nice guy, but she needs more. She's a lovely woman and wants to go into a relationship full steam. I'm 66 and have been there and gone there every time I had the chance. That's life! I love it.
Fred is such a sweet guy. After 21 years of marriage he is definitely a guy that could be successful as a husband. He just needs more time to get his confidence back again.
if you will watch videos of Dr. Joe Dispenza or his friend dr. Bruce Lipton, everything changes in any area, career, health etc.... they teach techniques how to reprogram old patterns etc.
Two lovely people.. As a traditionel woman I payed attention to what a gentleman he was. Getting the bill, waiting for her to be ready to leave, holding the door AND car door. Beautiful to see such a respectful man.
Yes, he was a gentleman BUT she wasn't at eye level with this man, she was above it and she was completely right to end this. If someone thinks he/she isn't good enough for someone else, well...this can't work. This had nothing to do with Doug being a small town guy, he really compared himself to Jennifer all the time and this was very unattractive and insecure. He also was a bit too quiet, too calm, he didn't really seem to open himself emotionally, it was clearly feelable. Jennifer did the right thing, they weren't a good fit. Btw: Jennifer looks much older than 41, most women I know look this way at around 50, sorry to stay that. Not that it is important.
@@thomaslukowsky5121 He could see her life isnt the life he wants. She wants to go to fancy restaurants, and travel, and be a social butterfly. He is a family man, likes being at home, seeing his kids, and likes his job as a builder. He doesnt like wasting money on frivolous things, At the end of the date though he was still prepared to get to know her, and she turned him down. He wasnt putting himself down, he was highlighting their differences in a respectful way and taking the blame. Thats what men are brainwashed to do.
@@tubester4567 Wrong. Learn to use your intuition more and use your brain less. I can sense that you have been disappointed by women BUT this happens when men are not authentic, emotionally open and…honest. I agree, your chances with a date drop substantially when you are authentic and completely open and honest BUT this is the ONLY way you can meet the right woman for YOU. You are seeing material things only but a working relationship is based on emotions only. It does not matter if the woman likes nice things and the man does not, it matters if you are emotionally connecting on a deeper level and if you see each other at eye level. I suggest therapy if you do not trust women anymore.
Totally agree. I could almost see her face fall when he said he had a confession and felt himself a fraud… like she worried he’d be a project and not an equal.
Just from this snippet, Doug has great energy. Maybe he’s still pretty wounded from his divorce but he has a quiet confidence and humility. Also just seemed relaxed, very well spoken and able to be himself, and that’s super attractive. I find it off putting and sometimes pretentious when people try too hard to sell themselves right out of the gate. Her energy made me anxious.
I think she was just anxious herself. She seems like a lovely woman, just nervous. He most certainly is a lovely, well put together guy. Its definitely a reflection of his upbringing. Hes most likely middle-class from a good family. He also seems very hurt from his break up but his energy is more to do with him as a person rather than what hes been through. Like if he was a negative man, he'd probably be very bitter because of the break up.
He felt that way because he's a humble man. He doesn't have to go around throwing an eagle in people's faces to prove that he is a man. It's refreshing and wonderful to hear somebody like him. I wish I could meet someone like him. 🙁 I feel so bad for him.... He deserves a really special person.
I get that and as a bloke I found myself wishing he was in my friendship group...he comes across as the sort of person you could phone at 3am and ask him for help, his first thought would be to ask where you were...people like that are as rare as hen's teeth. I hope he finds happiness soon!
I think this is a complicated part of dating. He showed his true self. An honest man. But perhaps a little too much on a first date. He definitely deserved a second date with that input on the table. But it’s also way too early for her to have to prop his confidence up.
Sue, I completely agree with you. I only feel bad for him because he lost his first marriage, not because this woman didnt want to date him again. When he said that his divorce was "not his choice" you could see that still hurt. I wonder how far out of the blue that divorce came to him? Did he know that they had problems or was it a total surprise? You would probably be amazed at how often that type of thing happens to a man or a woman and they had no idea the other person felt that way. In those cases, I expect it is because the person asking for the divorce has already been cheating and is leaving to be with someone else. Double ouch.
One of his last comments was he wants to feel loved and important to somebody. I think one step he needs to make first is feeling loved and important to himself.
Marriage is not all about love, it is much more than that.He wanted a traditional family which is after going home from working there is a family at home and he wanted to be loved and needed.Of course there is a modern man who is very busy with his life and only meet his spouse at night.I think he is not that kind of men
She's very pretty and he is a handsome man. I don't understand why he is putting himself down. I love how humble he is it's actually refreshing to hear and very charming
Feeling like you have to live up to somebody elses standards can be very draining long term. He looks like the country guy who would be quiet happy staying on the farm, her not so much. Incompatible at a basic level.
cause men barely receive any compliment most of theirs life so even if they are, depend on your self esteem they can be unaware of theirs attractivity even if they manage to sleep or date an attractive lady
Jordan has it right. I would feel the same way here, as supremely attractive & successful women will not necessarily desire a man of lesser stature. Especially in the Uber materialistic city I live in (Dallas)
I dont see him putting himself down. He was honest. Hes not a glitz and glamour guy. Shes a glitz and glamour lady at the moment. She will be sorry she passed him.
I just thought that he was such a kind, genuine and real man. Nothing arrogant, pretentious or phony. He is a very attractive man who COULD be a great find. However, it appears that he has been beaten down, perhaps by the end of his marriage, something that he did not want to end. I would suggest that he get into therapy, heal his wounds, restore his confidence in what a terrific man he is and then proceed. In my opinion he is too wounded now for a relationship.
It's nice to read a man recommending therapy to another man. Refreshing. And I agree. They are both carrying a lot of grief and wounds that still need healing. I wondered if that were why she so clearly rejected him. Or perhaps she just is a powerful woman, an entrepreneur with great confidence and an international life, who knows what she wants and goes after it.
They both seem like nice people but no one wants to hear someone talk down on themselves. He's clearly still suffering from his divorce so much that she ended up being his cheerleader.
He didnt say he wasnt good enough for her. He just said that he wasnt the same type of traveling and worldly / sophisticated person that she made her self out to be.
@@lavinder11 Ok, I dont recall him using the word "deserve" but when he used the word "intimidating" he was referring to her world travel experience. I think he is simply recognizing that even though he has experience being in that rich lifestyle because of his wifes brother being Bill Gates and can pass himself off as being pretty sophisticated himself (he said these very words), he knows that he is more of common man who likes to stay home. No man should marry a woman who loves to party at the clubs all the time and needs constant excitement when you just like to chill out at home. That type of woman wont be happy with him and the relationship wont last . Very good to see both of them being honest with eachother. Neither of them made a bad decision. Thanks for the comment.
Yep that's what I said. He wanted her to know that upfront, and if she was good with it, he thought she had real substance. I don't think she appreciates high value men, just pretenders and aloof fakes. Shes gonna look back and say...oh boy. Meanwhile she thinks the banquet table is loaded with good men.
I think she lost out here. This is Doug Armintrout. He’s a very humble kind person but he’s worth millions and likely well traveled himself. Bill Gates former brother in law is a very big catch.
How ironic that a generous spirited man spends his date reassuring the women who lacks confidence in herself that she should have more then gets rejected for not displaying enough confidence himself.
Considering how emotional they both are over their breakups and also both tearing up over the failure of a first date I think that they both have some real healing yet to do, self-worth to find, and hopefully therapy to go to before they really start looking for another partner
I think you are spot on. I especially like that you recommend therapy for each of them: couldn't agree more. They both have heartache ready to spill out of them, that needs to be expressed and met with compassion.
Sounds her former married the “show”…then the show never kept his interest, things in all aspects of the relationship start to wear thin if they are not maintained and kept interesting
I don't get it. Nice looking successful guy. He's smart, good sense of humor, and gives off a quiet confidence. I never would have guessed he thinks so little of himself. His ex must have really screwed him up.
What a difference in conversation between these more mature, more wholesome adults than the constant sexual innuendos and critical banter between young people.
Yes. Nice to observe polished, sophisticated people who were raised with manners. So many of these shows, of those I've seen so far, the younger people were not raised with basic etiquette and table manners. They all need to go to a basic etiquette and dating classes.
Especially if you're on a cruise getting off at a port for a day or so and that counts up to 5 countries. People step into a country and out again to tick a box not the same as travelling a country
@@ahappilydrunkpuppy8961 I agree. And I doubt she just stopped in ports on cruise lines. She sounds like a go-getter who probably really did travel within those countries. My mother traveled to half a dozen or so countries in her 2-year job in Paris, back in the 1950s. So it's possible to do a lot of travel, especially if one has their own business and is doing international business.
These are both great people. She gave him some tough love at the end there but her advice to him was absolutely spot-on and he should be thankful she provided such constructive feedback.
She was actually disappointed in him, about not being sure of himself. This stopped him from truly opening up, he kept a distance although you could feel he wanted to break through his shell. I can so relate to that.
This was my favorite date so far. I cried bc I so identified with her story. I relived the pain when she broke down. I also felt compassion for him when he said he wasn’t the one who ended his marriage. Both beautiful people in and out but that’s how chemistry works….it’s either there or it’s not. I hope they both find the kind of love they’re looking for ❤
He name dropped so I need to hear the rest please lol. Maybe she reminded him of the ex so thought she'd be bored by him at one point but confidence is attractive if he could have not compared so openly with her🤷♀️ analyse in your head
I think he is a diamond, even though he doesn’t see it. What a great man. She didn’t even give him a chance, she missed out on meeting someone genuine and real. Been looking for that for 54 years. She messed up big time.
Right! She could have easily gotten him to stop the negative self talk once they got to know each other... She got emotional talking about her divorce if he had seen that he could have just assumed she's not fully healed herself
This is a pieced together clip of their much longer date. We don't know how many times he brought up their mismatch (in his eyes) or put himself down. I thought she was very compassionate and honest with him. It clearly helped him going forward.
I understand how she feels how her ex was towards her. It is like not feeling like your partner wants to be with you even though you try so hard to please the person you love. And they do not respond back. Both of these two are true gems. Meaning that who they are makes them very special.
Yeah he’s definitely been hitting the gym for some time. Unless he just has great genetics and built arms like those from lifting bricks. He looks fantastic for his age
I think you're right he isn't ready for dating yet. For confidence, I think he needs therapy and some friends who will listen to him spill his heart out. And to spend a lot of time hugging his kids and being with them.
thought about this one overnight, and really, she's right. I understand all the comments about "her loss", but you don't come to a date expecting to need to put humpty dumpty together again. His comments about being a fraud, being intimidated, and insinuating his wife dumped him, convey "I'm wounded, help me". Nice guy but I'm guessing this date made him learn a valuable lesson.
I think both Doug and Jen have some individual healing to do. That said, Doug is a more attractive package than he knows. Wish that I knew him. Lovely guy.
God it hurts to see this type of guy rejected, he was humble and honest, handsome and he looks amazing for a 54 years old, guys tend to look older that they are, i hope he finds his match
I didn’t think he came across as insecure at all, he was being honest about who he is. I’m bubbly like her and this man is someone I would be completely attracted to. He’s very honest, kind, respectful and handsome.
The date started off great, but it ended up being a tough interaction to watch. Women love confidence and Doug didn't have it. You shouldn't disqualify yourself, before your date does. Let her make the choice about what she values and what she's looking for, don't make the decision for her.
I stumbled on this video as I was cruising around youtube and I am so glad that I did! I first would like to thank these two for sharing their 1st date with all of us, it's hard enough to go on a first date but to be filmed while doing it is both brave and vulnerable. I am 2 years divorced after 15 years with my now ex husband and I am struggling at the thought of dating again. I want to explore dating again on one hand but scared on the other hand, It was comforting actually to see that others feel the same way that I do, it was so helpful and inspiring to see that we all, more than likely, are struggling with our confidence after the loss of what we thought would be a forever relationship. I really like both these people! They were both kind and interesting and I hope that they both find true happiness.
She actually called it right. They are not a fit. He wasn’t the right person for her, he’s still slightly depressed and has had his confidence knocked. She’s looking for high energy and a jet set life of travel and a big, bold future. It’s not a criticism of either person if you don’t fit, they’re both lovely people. Also, when someone comes with an ex and 3 kids, those 4 people will always be in your life, it’s a lot to take on unless you are really bowled over by your partner.
I think Jennifer made the right decision. She wanted a man who would step up and pursue and appreciate her. Doug is clearly still struggling with his self esteem, with little male energy left for her.
They're both incredibly lovely people. He clearly needs healing. She was good to have sensed that. He's not where she is, and looks like he has given up. He shouldn't be in the dating scene right now. You gotta love yourself first, man!
When someone is not in the happy place crying and getting upset with no reason, that one should stay single and take some time to find happiness in life prior dating or getting into any relationship.
Let's hear it for a lovely, smart, funny Montana woman--my home state! It seems like a second date, after her honesty, might have been in order because he was honest too and straightforward. They were handsome together with showed good chemistry. It's great to read he did find someone to date.
Everyone is looking for this immediate "spark". My wife and I started out as friends. It took me a year to figure out I had other feelings for her, while she was apparently interested for a while. We started dating. 20 plus years later married with 2 kids. We love each other and she is my best friend. Why people don't get to know each other when they obviously enjoyed each other's company befuddles me.
SPARKS DON'T GET YOU THROUGH THE TOUH TIMES....BONDS OF LOVE AND LOYALTY AND FRIENDSHIP DO. I TOO HAVE A LONG MARRIAGE THAT WAS A SLOW BURN TOWARDS A FLAME AND STARTED AS FRIENDS.
This was a sad date. They both seemed like lovely genuine people but Doug seemed insecure and needs to build confidence in himself. He's a real catch for the right woman but he needs to learn to believe in himself.
They are both great. But I don't think he's quite ready... he seems still quite sore from his divorce. That takes time to work through. I've been there. It's great on the other side! 😃
You can tell that she is pretty sincere with everything she does! She had to say "No" even if it was hard(she really wanted it to work!). Because she knew eventually it would lead to the same kind of lack of intimacy she experienced with her ex! She is very much "living" her life at 41 💯
@@rohananya I don't think it was because of his looks. I think it was because he was often comparing himself to him, diminished himself which can in the future build resentment. And that resentment would then lead to ack of intimacy.
Fred.. you better off not being with her.. because she just said it herself your a great guy.. for her not to realize that and listening to her self is her loss .
@@Rwissam1987 he had just gotten over a 21 year marriage - his wife left him. Cut the guy some slack, be patient and he would come around - small steps... - still her loss.
She will never find a good man, as she isn't a good woman. She is so annoying and very narcissistic too. She will be alone forever, unless she manipulates a guy that doesn't recognize red flags, as she is a huge red flag.
It starts with self-love. After my husband left our 32-year marriage, I have finally learned to love myself and see my own self-worth. Not in a big hurry to find another relationship. In the meantime, I am discovering all the many forms of love: love of my rescue dog, love of my friends & neighbors, love of nature and gardening. I have found peace & contentment. I am happy to be alive.
That's to bad Jen should have gave him time I think he was good enough he just showed who he was and never hid anything .I think she still attached to her ex .I think because her ex didn't desire her she latched onto his feelings of Feeling undesirable which were her old feelings .and with that being said made him in her eyes undesirable.he didn't have enough confidence .but this man was a very good catch and would have nurtured her back to feeling good both of them were a match .she didn't give it a chance .
Jennifer was incredible. I feel like Doug would be lucky to have a friend in her so he could heal himself. Ultimately she deserves someone who loves themself as does Doug. He just needs to get out of his own way. 2 really lovely people meeting at the wrong time.
Totally understand where she's coming from. I too was married to a man with intimacy issues. It was extremely difficult ending that relationship, but necessary.
I hope women like you will be just as understanding when men divorce their wives over similar "intimacy" issues. Unfortunately, they generally just get accused of being unfaithful and criticized for going for younger women.
She's sweet to have said that he shouldn't feel like she's better than him he lost out on a good woman I hope she's found someone who's secure in themselves because an insecure guy will only bring you down I know this personally.
He made a HUGE mistake by defining himself as a "fraud" ....what??? It's better for her to find out what he's about at the very beginning than to get involved. The man was married 21 years = HUGE red flag. She's a lovely person, vulnerable, comes across as genuine and caring. I liked them both until he pulled back with his self definition. So she's "polished" um....these days that's wonderful. She cares about how she looks, has class, manners, etc. I truly hope he regretted his decision. Our choices get slimmer and slimmer as the years pass.
I reckon they should have gone on a second date regardless, away from the cameras etc. There was emotion from both sides...this deserved a second round !!!
WORK AT IT…. Relationships take effort, daily … you’ll never find a 10 out of 10 but if there is some spark with good open communication then that’s pure gold.
Her loss. His honesty, sincerity and vulnerability is so attractive and courageous.
Doent ever date someone this insecure, even if nice. You become their therapy or worse, their enemy as they don’t believe your niceness.
not attractive to a lot of woman- particularly ' alpha type'. She is going to have to be his ' therapist' at least on some level and she doesn't have the bandwidth as a career woman for that. He needs a nurturing type of woman ie more traditional and she knew it. I don't she's being arrogant or anything; in fact intelligent and considerate. She liked and respected him I'm sure in fact.
He’s very calm and gentle and she’s all over the place- a lot of nervous energy
We are all nervous until we find the right one. I'm sure that she has found hers by now.
spot on
Didn’t liked her at all
He just saved himself by being honest. Great job man 👍
She's definitely messed up
What a really lovely gentleman. It was her loss.
She'll definitely find someone in the future
She was shallow. Lives her life checking of boxes. He will have women lining up for him. Too bad she couldn't see that.
@@realMaxEffort I did not find her shallow at all. She wanted a confident man. He was not. I'm to old for her. Otherwise I would be there in hiking boots, bare feet or sandals. She wouldn't care. She's a nice girl.
ALL STATEMENTS ARE MADE BY ME PERSONALLY AND HAVE NOT BEEN VERIFIED BY A CERTIFIED PSYCHOLOGIST OR VENTRILOQUIST.
lot of pain carried over on this date - better to work on the first before going on one
@@megalomaniac612 someone as annoying probably
Her loss on this one. He’s more real than she currently understands. His confidence is revealed in his honesty.
Oh, please. No one's a loser or winner here, they just aren't a good much for each other. You can see it by the way they communicate.
Wow, such an eloquent statement
He is definitely confident in being vulnerable but not feeling good enough is shown not only in his voice and words but also his facial expressions.
For this reason and their other great lifestyle differences (traveling Vs. Not fond of this +his kids) I don't think that they would not choose each other for longterm anyways although they might have found eachother likeable.
Absolutely.
He sounded like a calm and collected man, full of peace and tranquility.
She noted that he had said that he felt that he wasn't good enough for her, so instead of reassuring him by seeing him again, she 'gave up' at the first hurdle because of that, and that she didn't get the connection that she wanted at that instant!
So much for taking things slowly.
Great shame. 🤔
Perhaps he was testing her, to check her true colours. Before letting her know what a stable position he is in life@@Lichfeldian--Suttonian
Wow. This guy is just brilliant. He is so level headed and calm. I wish I’d grown up to be like him. Contrary to what is said, I think he is very self assured, knows exactly what he wants. He knew right away they had starkly different personalities and that it wouldn’t work out. Guess he’s just still in pain about his broken marriage and doesn’t wanna get hurt again. Wish him the best.
Her loss....he's such a catch
I applaud any young man wanting to grow up like this. Calm, confident, dignified, and humble.
Maybe it was his way of testing her. "He's saying I'm just a humble guy". She failed to say "that's good"
He's a nice guy, but she needs more. She's a lovely woman and wants to go into a relationship full steam. I'm 66 and have been there and gone there every time I had the chance. That's life! I love it.
Fred is such a sweet guy. After 21 years of marriage he is definitely a guy that could be successful as a husband. He just needs more time to get his confidence back again.
His name was Doug!
@@jewelj7507 When he said he was Fred Flinstone type they put his name as Fred because I thought it was Fred as well
if you will watch videos of Dr. Joe Dispenza or his friend dr. Bruce Lipton, everything changes in any area, career, health etc....
they teach techniques how to reprogram old patterns etc.
@@Aaron-kj8dvThey didn't, it still says Doug. Check it out around the 0:56 min mark.
He ain't gonna sleep with you bro.
Two lovely people.. As a traditionel woman I payed attention to what a gentleman he was. Getting the bill, waiting for her to be ready to leave, holding the door AND car door. Beautiful to see such a respectful man.
lumi is my fav type of fish
Yes, he was a gentleman BUT she wasn't at eye level with this man, she was above it and she was completely right to end this. If someone thinks he/she isn't good enough for someone else, well...this can't work. This had nothing to do with Doug being a small town guy, he really compared himself to Jennifer all the time and this was very unattractive and insecure. He also was a bit too quiet, too calm, he didn't really seem to open himself emotionally, it was clearly feelable. Jennifer did the right thing, they weren't a good fit. Btw: Jennifer looks much older than 41, most women I know look this way at around 50, sorry to stay that. Not that it is important.
@@thomaslukowsky5121 He could see her life isnt the life he wants. She wants to go to fancy restaurants, and travel, and be a social butterfly. He is a family man, likes being at home, seeing his kids, and likes his job as a builder. He doesnt like wasting money on frivolous things,
At the end of the date though he was still prepared to get to know her, and she turned him down.
He wasnt putting himself down, he was highlighting their differences in a respectful way and taking the blame. Thats what men are brainwashed to do.
I saw what you saw. They just weren’t a match and it’s not because he saw himself as less. just simpler. 💆♂️
@@tubester4567 Wrong. Learn to use your intuition more and use your brain less. I can sense that you have been disappointed by women BUT this happens when men are not authentic, emotionally open and…honest. I agree, your chances with a date drop substantially when you are authentic and completely open and honest BUT this is the ONLY way you can meet the right woman for YOU. You are seeing material things only but a working relationship is based on emotions only. It does not matter if the woman likes nice things and the man does not, it matters if you are emotionally connecting on a deeper level and if you see each other at eye level. I suggest therapy if you do not trust women anymore.
He saved himself from a world of trouble. she is broken still. I admire that guy.
Well said....she is still trying to hide the pain....
Oooooooooh silly, silly woman!
He was delightful, a really nice guy. She jumped too quickly without giving him much of a chance.
Her loss!
Totally agree. I could almost see her face fall when he said he had a confession and felt himself a fraud… like she worried he’d be a project and not an equal.
Run brother run.
She needs a real man and will get one. She can get kids later. He is nice but certainly not man enough for her.
Just from this snippet, Doug has great energy. Maybe he’s still pretty wounded from his divorce but he has a quiet confidence and humility. Also just seemed relaxed, very well spoken and able to be himself, and that’s super attractive. I find it off putting and sometimes pretentious when people try too hard to sell themselves right out of the gate. Her energy made me anxious.
There's no telling how awful his exwife may have treated him.
@@dougn2350 date him
I think she was just anxious herself. She seems like a lovely woman, just nervous.
He most certainly is a lovely, well put together guy. Its definitely a reflection of his upbringing. Hes most likely middle-class from a good family. He also seems very hurt from his break up but his energy is more to do with him as a person rather than what hes been through. Like if he was a negative man, he'd probably be very bitter because of the break up.
Yes her energy was very anxiety inducing 😳
He felt that way because he's a humble man. He doesn't have to go around throwing an eagle in people's faces to prove that he is a man. It's refreshing and wonderful to hear somebody like him. I wish I could meet someone like him. 🙁 I feel so bad for him.... He deserves a really special person.
I get that and as a bloke I found myself wishing he was in my friendship group...he comes across as the sort of person you could phone at 3am and ask him for help, his first thought would be to ask where you were...people like that are as rare as hen's teeth. I hope he finds happiness soon!
I think this is a complicated part of dating. He showed his true self. An honest man. But perhaps a little too much on a first date. He definitely deserved a second date with that input on the table. But it’s also way too early for her to have to prop his confidence up.
Sue, I completely agree with you. I only feel bad for him because he lost his first marriage, not because this woman didnt want to date him again. When he said that his divorce was "not his choice" you could see that still hurt. I wonder how far out of the blue that divorce came to him? Did he know that they had problems or was it a total surprise? You would probably be amazed at how often that type of thing happens to a man or a woman and they had no idea the other person felt that way. In those cases, I expect it is because the person asking for the divorce has already been cheating and is leaving to be with someone else. Double ouch.
'throwing an eagle in peoples faces' 🤣🤣 that cracked me up
@@christinaartist LOLLL me too
Honestly, there's nothing wrong with being single. If you can't find love, don't sweat it.
Been sweating here for a while now 🥵😂
It sucks being alone.
@@ShadowJ20 For some people, yes. For others of us, not at all.
@@octo.lina69Lina I'll marry you ❤
@@stevechristie2569 Well thank you!
Reminds me of the saying, "if you treat someone like a celebrity they will treat you like a fan".
Haha, that's good, I've never heard that one before
One of his last comments was he wants to feel loved and important to somebody. I think one step he needs to make first is feeling loved and important to himself.
Very true.
Marriage is not all about love, it is much more than that.He wanted a traditional family which is after going home from working there is a family at home and he wanted to be loved and needed.Of course there is a modern man who is very busy with his life and only meet his spouse at night.I think he is not that kind of men
She's very pretty and he is a handsome man. I don't understand why he is putting himself down. I love how humble he is it's actually refreshing to hear and very charming
Feeling like you have to live up to somebody elses standards can be very draining long term. He looks like the country guy who would be quiet happy staying on the farm, her not so much. Incompatible at a basic level.
cause men barely receive any compliment most of theirs life so even if they are, depend on your self esteem they can be unaware of theirs attractivity even if they manage to sleep or date an attractive lady
No she isn't ... pretty that is. Not at all. She's just hair and makeup. Face is very average.
Jordan has it right. I would feel the same way here, as supremely attractive & successful women will not necessarily desire a man of lesser stature. Especially in the Uber materialistic city I live in (Dallas)
I dont see him putting himself down. He was honest. Hes not a glitz and glamour guy. Shes a glitz and glamour lady at the moment. She will be sorry she passed him.
He is a handsome older man. He'll have no trouble finding another woman some day.
I just thought that he was such a kind, genuine and real man. Nothing arrogant, pretentious or phony. He is a very attractive man who COULD be a great find. However, it appears that he has been beaten down, perhaps by the end of his marriage, something that he did not want to end. I would suggest that he get into therapy, heal his wounds, restore his confidence in what a terrific man he is and then proceed. In my opinion he is too wounded now for a relationship.
I fully agree
@@Urufu-sannice guys finish last.
Showing any emotion or weakness is an automatic fail
That was my thought. he wasn't ready. His kids constantly reminded him that.
It's nice to read a man recommending therapy to another man. Refreshing. And I agree. They are both carrying a lot of grief and wounds that still need healing. I wondered if that were why she so clearly rejected him. Or perhaps she just is a powerful woman, an entrepreneur with great confidence and an international life, who knows what she wants and goes after it.
@@larryp3641 Not to me. I appreciate when people show their vulnerability.
They both seem like nice people but no one wants to hear someone talk down on themselves. He's clearly still suffering from his divorce so much that she ended up being his cheerleader.
Amen. It's a job interview so to speak. You have to convince the other person they are better off with you
Ain't life about learning.
@@TheTrichD Yep, I hope he learns to love himself.
She was crying about her ex who she has been apart from for 5 years and only married for 6… Bruh
She self sabotage herself by bypassing this gem.
Not at all. She's waiting for the catch - and she will get it. Nice of her telling him why.
He didnt say he wasnt good enough for her. He just said that he wasnt the same type of traveling and worldly / sophisticated person that she made her self out to be.
Yes, he did actually say he was worried that he didn't deserve a woman like her. Even called her intimidating and talked down on himself.
@@lavinder11 Ok, I dont recall him using the word "deserve" but when he used the word "intimidating" he was referring to her world travel experience. I think he is simply recognizing that even though he has experience being in that rich lifestyle because of his wifes brother being Bill Gates and can pass himself off as being pretty sophisticated himself (he said these very words), he knows that he is more of common man who likes to stay home.
No man should marry a woman who loves to party at the clubs all the time and needs constant excitement when you just like to chill out at home. That type of woman wont be happy with him and the relationship wont last .
Very good to see both of them being honest with eachother. Neither of them made a bad decision.
Thanks for the comment.
Yep that's what I said. He wanted her to know that upfront, and if she was good with it, he thought she had real substance. I don't think she appreciates high value men, just pretenders and aloof fakes. Shes gonna look back and say...oh boy. Meanwhile she thinks the banquet table is loaded with good men.
@@outsideview9052 Exactly, those women would be constantly chasing the rainbow.
Two beautiful people at two different points in their lives. Hopefully they find someone that speaks the language of their soul.
Poor Doug. Shows a tiny bit of humility she blows him off.
Or not
I absolutely loved him! What a lovely down to earth guy ❤
I think she lost out here. This is Doug Armintrout. He’s a very humble kind person but he’s worth millions and likely well traveled himself. Bill Gates former brother in law is a very big catch.
And so handsome.
I think his humble attitude is extremely attractive. I guess it’s all about an individuals perspective.
His comments throughout made it seem like he thought she was a sports car, but he really wanted a landrover.
She is almost too much!!! Too much energy all the time can be exhausting . Been there done thst.
No thanks.😅😅😅
He sounds like a family guy ! Hope he finds someone deserving!
How she nearly walked right past him at the start, i thought that was the end of it for him lol
How ironic that a generous spirited man spends his date reassuring the women who lacks confidence in herself that she should have more then gets rejected for not displaying enough confidence himself.
Considering how emotional they both are over their breakups and also both tearing up over the failure of a first date I think that they both have some real healing yet to do, self-worth to find, and hopefully therapy to go to before they really start looking for another partner
I think you are spot on. I especially like that you recommend therapy for each of them: couldn't agree more. They both have heartache ready to spill out of them, that needs to be expressed and met with compassion.
God i thought he would have turned her down.....she was the kind of in your face person......he was so much more down to earth....
Her lifestyle is way too fast for him. Also she seems the type that will jump ship as soon as it’s not thrilling her or meeting her every single need.
I agree. I was thinking the very same thing. Her speed is way faster than his!
She’s going to be going on many dates
Sounds her former married the “show”…then the show never kept his interest, things in all aspects of the relationship start to wear thin if they are not maintained and kept interesting
I don't get it. Nice looking successful guy. He's smart, good sense of humor, and gives off a quiet confidence. I never would have guessed he thinks so little of himself. His ex must have really screwed him up.
What a difference in conversation between these more mature, more wholesome adults than the constant sexual innuendos and critical banter between young people.
oh come off it deb
@@jamalazero2353 I’m 70 years old and I see that there is very little civility left in the world. And little or no respect for one’s elders.
Yes. Nice to observe polished, sophisticated people who were raised with manners. So many of these shows, of those I've seen so far, the younger people were not raised with basic etiquette and table manners. They all need to go to a basic etiquette and dating classes.
Going to 39 countries does not make someone more interesting
Yeah it’s more a status flex
Especially if you're on a cruise getting off at a port for a day or so and that counts up to 5 countries.
People step into a country and out again to tick a box not the same as travelling a country
Absolutely mot
It kind of does. You sound jealous.
@@ahappilydrunkpuppy8961 I agree. And I doubt she just stopped in ports on cruise lines. She sounds like a go-getter who probably really did travel within those countries. My mother traveled to half a dozen or so countries in her 2-year job in Paris, back in the 1950s. So it's possible to do a lot of travel, especially if one has their own business and is doing international business.
What a sad ending to the date.. They would have made a lovely couple. Doug's self-sabotage was so unjustified.. They both seemed nice.
Maybe he did it on purpose , it is TV you know, she needs some more dates to get you hooked.
Lol she wants a take charge guy not some push over
These are both great people. She gave him some tough love at the end there but her advice to him was absolutely spot-on and he should be thankful she provided such constructive feedback.
She was actually disappointed in him, about not being sure of himself. This stopped him from truly opening up, he kept a distance although you could feel he wanted to break through his shell. I can so relate to that.
This was my favorite date so far. I cried bc I so identified with her story. I relived the pain when she broke down. I also felt compassion for him when he said he wasn’t the one who ended his marriage. Both beautiful people in and out but that’s how chemistry works….it’s either there or it’s not. I hope they both find the kind of love they’re looking for ❤
She is the one who makes things complicated. This guy was solid. He would have given her the world. Too bad she will never find out.
100%
How? I assumed she said yes to the meeting, gave the second chance
@@basedpatriotLTno she clearly didn’t .
He speaks with such sincerity and listens intently. I wish I had a date like this.
It was wonderful that they both could be so honest and open with each other. Those traits are hard to find!💋
Omg Doug is such a sweet good guy, he is just a little vulnerable now. I would not have let him get away. He is very handsome.
Tears for both. Great episode lots of reminders to love and believe in yourself.
0:54 "Being married to Bill Gates' sister" bro what?
Libby or Elizabeth Gates. His date resembles her. Interesting background though.
Wonder why he felt the need to name drop.
He name dropped so I need to hear the rest please lol.
Maybe she reminded him of the ex so thought she'd be bored by him at one point but confidence is attractive if he could have not compared so openly with her🤷♀️ analyse in your head
Yeahhh… Just glossed right over lol.
@@SamStone1964 the interviewer obviously asked him about it and they aired it.
He's a good guy. Being honest and vulnerable are great qualities.
I think he is a diamond, even though he doesn’t see it. What a great man. She didn’t even give him a chance, she missed out on meeting someone genuine and real. Been looking for that for 54 years. She messed up big time.
Right! She could have easily gotten him to stop the negative self talk once they got to know each other... She got emotional talking about her divorce if he had seen that he could have just assumed she's not fully healed herself
No. Yes he’s a catch BUT she was very supportive in their end chat. HE blew it. A woman is not a nurse.
This is a pieced together clip of their much longer date. We don't know how many times he brought up their mismatch (in his eyes) or put himself down. I thought she was very compassionate and honest with him. It clearly helped him going forward.
are you joking. nothing dries a woman up quicker than what he said, and for good reason.
he dodged a bullet, lucky man 😮
I understand how she feels how her ex was towards her. It is like not feeling like your partner wants to be with you even though you try so hard to please the person you love. And they do not respond back. Both of these two are true gems. Meaning that who they are makes them very special.
Bro, skip dating for a bit, join a gym. Build some confidence/self-worth. You've got this.
He's very fit for his age . I'm sure he exercises.
Yeah he’s definitely been hitting the gym for some time. Unless he just has great genetics and built arms like those from lifting bricks. He looks fantastic for his age
Go on the Bedros Keuilian programme to find himself again.
I think you're right he isn't ready for dating yet. For confidence, I think he needs therapy and some friends who will listen to him spill his heart out. And to spend a lot of time hugging his kids and being with them.
He's looking for housewife material, she's not. He feels quite intimidated by her. This is not a good match and no one is right or wrong.
Any woman world traveler would intimidate any man. All he saw was dollars which was againist his grains.
@@rampar77then men should go out and travel.
thought about this one overnight, and really, she's right. I understand all the comments about "her loss", but you don't come to a date expecting to need to put humpty dumpty together again. His comments about being a fraud, being intimidated, and insinuating his wife dumped him, convey "I'm wounded, help me". Nice guy but I'm guessing this date made him learn a valuable lesson.
I think both Doug and Jen have some individual healing to do. That said, Doug is a more attractive package than he knows. Wish that I knew him. Lovely guy.
7:00 - she gives the real reason for saying no and it's commendable that she said it
He's not ready
God it hurts to see this type of guy rejected, he was humble and honest, handsome and he looks amazing for a 54 years old, guys tend to look older that they are, i hope he finds his match
I didn’t think he came across as insecure at all, he was being honest about who he is. I’m bubbly like her and this man is someone I would be completely attracted to. He’s very honest, kind, respectful and handsome.
The date started off great, but it ended up being a tough interaction to watch. Women love confidence and Doug didn't have it. You shouldn't disqualify yourself, before your date does. Let her make the choice about what she values and what she's looking for, don't make the decision for her.
I stumbled on this video as I was cruising around youtube and I am so glad that I did! I first would like to thank these two for sharing their 1st date with all of us, it's hard enough to go on a first date but to be filmed while doing it is both brave and vulnerable. I am 2 years divorced after 15 years with my now ex husband and I am struggling at the thought of dating again. I want to explore dating again on one hand but scared on the other hand, It was comforting actually to see that others feel the same way that I do, it was so helpful and inspiring to see that we all, more than likely, are struggling with our confidence after the loss of what we thought would be a forever relationship. I really like both these people! They were both kind and interesting and I hope that they both find true happiness.
She actually called it right. They are not a fit. He wasn’t the right person for her, he’s still slightly depressed and has had his confidence knocked. She’s looking for high energy and a jet set life of travel and a big, bold future. It’s not a criticism of either person if you don’t fit, they’re both lovely people. Also, when someone comes with an ex and 3 kids, those 4 people will always be in your life, it’s a lot to take on unless you are really bowled over by your partner.
Wanting travel does not mean she wants a jet set life. It just means she prioritizes seeing the world.
his so real and humble thats what makes it attractive.. and the fact that his honest and straight forward towards the end that was a plus to me
I think Jennifer made the right decision. She wanted a man who would step up and pursue and appreciate her. Doug is clearly still struggling with his self esteem, with little male energy left for her.
Seems like a extrovert/introvert clash here. I'm not sure why they think that this clash of temperaments will work.
He's a doll. And he is so down to earth. I would have totally gone on another date with him.
This made me cry. He loved his wife and she desrroyed him. MEN HURT TOO💔
They're both incredibly lovely people.
He clearly needs healing. She was good to have sensed that. He's not where she is, and looks like he has given up. He shouldn't be in the dating scene right now. You gotta love yourself first, man!
I think you got that so right: he needs to love himsel !! WE could see he deserved her, he couldn't at all.
When someone is not in the happy place crying and getting upset with no reason, that one should stay single and take some time to find happiness in life prior dating or getting into any relationship.
He had her in the bag. Right up to the "I feel like a Fraud"
Big mistake by him. Was in awe of her being well travelled. That doesn't make one intelligent/mature/balanced etc.
Wow this was a genuine meeting with two real people …wonderful to watch
I can't believe this guy turned this woman down
He didn't.
He didn't.
She took the fraud thing too literally. He was just saying she’s more polished meanwhile he’s a bit more laid back lol.
Let's hear it for a lovely, smart, funny Montana woman--my home state! It seems like a second date, after her honesty, might have been in order because he was honest too and straightforward. They were handsome together with showed good chemistry. It's great to read he did find someone to date.
If he was more himself and less assuming what she would think of him, it may have turned out differently.
Everyone is looking for this immediate "spark". My wife and I started out as friends. It took me a year to figure out I had other feelings for her, while she was apparently interested for a while. We started dating. 20 plus years later married with 2 kids. We love each other and she is my best friend. Why people don't get to know each other when they obviously enjoyed each other's company befuddles me.
SPARKS DON'T GET YOU THROUGH THE TOUH TIMES....BONDS OF LOVE AND LOYALTY AND FRIENDSHIP DO. I TOO HAVE A LONG MARRIAGE THAT WAS A SLOW BURN TOWARDS A FLAME AND STARTED AS FRIENDS.
This was a sad date. They both seemed like lovely genuine people but Doug seemed insecure and needs to build confidence in himself. He's a real catch for the right woman but he needs to learn to believe in himself.
I couldn't be arsed at his age pursuing women he's already had kids and been through the motions I'd accept things for what they are.
They are both great. But I don't think he's quite ready... he seems still quite sore from his divorce. That takes time to work through. I've been there. It's great on the other side! 😃
true 😢
She’s overpowering - he finds her intimidating
You can tell that she is pretty sincere with everything she does! She had to say "No" even if it was hard(she really wanted it to work!). Because she knew eventually it would lead to the same kind of lack of intimacy she experienced with her ex! She is very much "living" her life at 41 💯
Great thoughts
How did you work that out …… “she would get a lack of intimacy with him“ ….. have you got a crystal ball or something. He was gorgeous xxx
@@rohananya I don't think it was because of his looks. I think it was because he was often comparing himself to him, diminished himself which can in the future build resentment. And that resentment would then lead to ack of intimacy.
@@rohananyaintimacy isn't formed because of looks
Fred.. you better off not being with her.. because she just said it herself your a great guy.. for her not to realize that and listening to her self is her loss .
He's good-looking, stable, pleasant.' Great conversation, a little shy . He's actually a good catch for a partner. He is marriage material
Her: "...you feel you're not good enough for me? - well hell then, I will just reject you and put you in your place too..." - She missed out...
She was trying to protect herself. A guy who really wants a woman doesn't say she's too good for him and fights for her instead!
@@Rwissam1987 he had just gotten over a 21 year marriage - his wife left him. Cut the guy some slack, be patient and he would come around - small steps... - still her loss.
@@Mikeman07825 Shell be okay Mr stark
She is not understanding. He needs a sensitive one.
She will never find a good man, as she isn't a good woman. She is so annoying and very narcissistic too. She will be alone forever, unless she manipulates a guy that doesn't recognize red flags, as she is a huge red flag.
The biggest turn-off about Doug is that he's related (by marriage) to Bill Gates.
Just the association is nauseating
Two lovely people but not right for each other. Plus he needs more time to recover. It took me about ten years to remember who I was after my divorce.
It starts with self-love. After my husband left our 32-year marriage, I have finally learned to love myself and see my own self-worth. Not in a big hurry to find another relationship. In the meantime, I am discovering all the many forms of love: love of my rescue dog, love of my friends & neighbors, love of nature and gardening. I have found peace & contentment. I am happy to be alive.
peace is worth everything
That's to bad Jen should have gave him time I think he was good enough he just showed who he was and never hid anything .I think she still attached to her ex .I think because her ex didn't desire her she latched onto his feelings of Feeling undesirable which were her old feelings .and with that being said made him in her eyes undesirable.he didn't have enough confidence .but this man was a very good catch and would have nurtured her back to feeling good both of them were a match .she didn't give it a chance .
I don't think either of these two are ready to start dating again..
They both still have pain, to work through..
Bless this man, i hope he finds happiness ❤
Glad to hear he took her advice and is dating someone
Takes a lot to put yourself out like this, kudos to both of them.
Jennifer was incredible. I feel like Doug would be lucky to have a friend in her so he could heal himself. Ultimately she deserves someone who loves themself as does Doug. He just needs to get out of his own way. 2 really lovely people meeting at the wrong time.
Totally understand where she's coming from. I too was married to a man with intimacy issues. It was extremely difficult ending that relationship, but necessary.
I hope women like you will be just as understanding when men divorce their wives over similar "intimacy" issues. Unfortunately, they generally just get accused of being unfaithful and criticized for going for younger women.
@@outsideview9052 Agree
@@outsideview9052 Sure, it goes both ways; men AND women.
I,m sure she is a lovely lady but too much bubble and positivity can be a bit exhausting.
She's sweet to have said that he shouldn't feel like she's better than him he lost out on a good woman I hope she's found someone who's secure in themselves because an insecure guy will only bring you down I know this personally.
Her loss. He can do better.
He just said “ I am not polished like you”. He was not comparing against you. Jeez she is self absorbed.
He is Doug Armintrout. Bill Gates ex brother in law. Hes in a relationship now.
He made a HUGE mistake by defining himself as a "fraud" ....what??? It's better for her to find out what he's about at the very beginning than to get involved. The man was married 21 years = HUGE red flag. She's a lovely person, vulnerable, comes across as genuine and caring. I liked them both until he pulled back with his self definition. So she's "polished" um....these days that's wonderful. She cares about how she looks, has class, manners, etc. I truly hope he regretted his decision. Our choices get slimmer and slimmer as the years pass.
I reckon they should have gone on a second date regardless, away from the cameras etc. There was emotion from both sides...this deserved a second round !!!
Agreed!
I was hoping he would make it right and ask for a second chance...
Absolutely
totally agree
WORK AT IT…. Relationships take effort, daily … you’ll never find a 10 out of 10 but if there is some spark with good open communication then that’s pure gold.