No Contact: How to Hold On
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
- No Contact is a painful process, and even worse, it can be hard to see the results just by its very nature. But there's no avoiding the fact that it really does work. So if you're someone that needs help holding on even as your mind is telling you not to; this video is for you.
To book a call with Coach Ken: dotheyloveme.com/
Looking for more quality content from Coach Ken? Check out his Relationship Video Series course:
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"Both of you were in love with the same person, and it wasn't you" 🔥
I learned not to break No Contact or it will boost their ego. Keep No Contact to show your strength. Let them know you could live without them.
I didn't know until three Fridays ago that it was possible to cry until you threw up. That was the day I said for the first time out loud that she had abused me.
Sorry man. That’s rough.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Get over the narc! Thanks Coach Ken!
Gracias my friend!
kind words my friend - mental hug to you
I just want to say thank you for this video. I have been dealing with a tough breakup after a 7 year relationship. It was toxic and abusive and I have been beating myself up with regret.
I have watched hundreds of hours of vidoes on the topic and this particular video has been the most helpful. Thank you. Its been hell but theres light...
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If you have not taken a private session with coach ken DO IT! I have been for 3 weeks 4 sessions. Life saver and so helpfull
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Thanks Bjarni
It’s so difficult to hear, but I know every word of this is true. All of it makes so much sense, and is worth listening to on repeat - especially if you’re “in it” right now … listen to this until you can really hear it. I am.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Thank you so very much for taking your time to post all this! I'm going through a devastating breakup right now. He needs it abruptly through texts and I didn't even see it coming at all. Then he shut me down, wouldn't take my calls or my texts, deleted me from social media. I've been nothing but supportive and giving and trusting. I'm beyond gutted, but your videos are real. They don't tell me to stop thinking of him or just focus on me . Those things, to me are not doable right now. I wish I could afford a coaching.
Similar situation, last October she got let go of work and told me she was going to fly to Switzerland (from Texas) for vacation. Well I had just got laid off of work too and had flight credits I needed to use up before the end of the year, so naturally I wanted to go too. She got so mad yelling at me that not everything is about me and that the only reason I was thinking about going was because she was going. I was like okay go to Switzerland and I’ll go to Italy … of course hoping she would reach out and we could go on a romantic relationship building adventure together.
But she blocked me … I of course started to panic after about 6 weeks of not hearing anything from her. Started leaving voicemails, are you Okay?! I love you please call me back, but nothing.
Christmas, nothing … her birthday in January, nothing.
Finally 4 months later , she calls me drunk telling me that the Safari hunting guide from Africa she met during our break last year who she promised me she wasn’t going to go see … the whole trip was going to see him. First in Switzerland and then Africa. Oh and she got pregnant by him while on vacation, flew home and had an abortion! So, my hearts been breaking wondering what I did to get the silent treatment, never went on my trip because I felt guilty about going without her! I helped her pick out her outfits for her trip!!!! With her knowing she was going on a romantic getaway with another man!!! 😢 says she dating him now. He lives in Tanzania, killing exotic animals for rich pricks, trophy hunters! It’s a 30 hour flight away! How can you raise kids like that?! 24:06
She threw up she was so drunk, left the phone on while we slept … I missed her so much … woke up the next day and was blocked again. Haven’t heard from her since. After everything her and I have been through past ten years. I’ve been completely devastated! Next level crushed and humbled.
This guy is absolute aces
Omg yes just had a session with Coach Ken and now looping it with this video! So true open your eyes it’s hard but they’re incapable of real love and undeserving of ours. I’ve been watching Coach Lee’s videos and he and Coach Ken are two exceptional Christian men with values and truly are out to help others restore and support relationships for the good! 🙏🏻💕
Coach Lee helped me too. I was with a narc for 5 years, but I'm fine now. This was over 10 years ago.
Ive just gone beast mode in gym six weeks eating six meals a day and training twice a day got a body i didnt even realise i could get. I miss her and broke me as she dumped me when i did everything for 5 years paid for too families and she contributed zero but im thankful as i wouldnt be in this place if she didnt break me. Sometimes the best thing in life hurt the most as gives you a new drive in life
This video feels like a gut punch rn but I needed it
there are good sleep hypnosis videos i watch that have helped my sleep tremendously. I can sleep for 5 hours and not feel tired because the quality of sleep is so good. and Qigong too- Qigong helps greatly, lots of breath and gentle movement and release of sorrow
Thanks for the solid input and added techniques - I agree with the sleep hypnosis videos
@@CoachKen anytime, try the Qigong on youtube, there are two specific teachers that have blown me away
Coach ken and coach Lee
Are literally saving my life.
Thank you, Coach Ken! My worst fears has been confirmed when I spoke to you but it has led me to the healing road. My ex-fiance is a narc who uses engagement to marriage as his tool to control women and get what he wants from them, well including me. Run away from a narc!!! Nothing good will come out from such a toxic relationship! Let them go!
Coach ken I am looping your videos because I am healing from a BPD relationship! i really need some help and watching you is helping me! i wish i had enough money to have a session with you! please post more videos like these! thanks 🙏
So sorry to hear you're in that kind of pain but very happy for you that you're recovering. I promise you - you will get over it. Just get through each day.
Thank you so much. I'm starting to watch all of your videos. I absolutely adored somebody.. He broke me repeatedly. I cryed everyday. Then he left. I found out he was with another woman . I lost who I was. 3 months now. I now know the whole relationship was just a lie.. I will never understand why..somebody deliberately set out to destroy me. I'm now healing learning so much. I will never be the person I used to be.. But the lessons I am learning.. Words can not explain how much your videos have helped me. Thank you so much. 😊
Thank you so much for the kind words
Love to u 🙏💓 I’ve been through similar from my sociopathic ex gf
I’ve watched a bunch of these to help with the heeling process. Coach Ken, you are the one who understands my situation most. I’m so thankful. Watching you first thing every morning, gets my day off to a confident start. Xo
Thanks Kim!
Clenching of all the body parts, then releasing felt incredible.
I used it to gain energy, and to relax.
Glad I found your encouragement and strength to stay away from the toxicity completely, and NEVER look back.
All of your videos have been really helping me realize that I was manipulated by my BPD/Narc ex. I've realized from your videos that our relationship was completely one-sided, manipulative, toxic and I wasn't the problem after giving them all the love that I could. This gives me a little more peace in my life. I was recently discarded by my ex all because I voiced to them that I was hurt because I wanted to spend time with them & felt unappreciated that they rather go out to the bar with their co-workers after they just told me that they "didn't have the funds" to go to the renaissance fair with me (which we planned for weeks) and didn't try to make up for it what-so-ever. I've been in no contact and trying to stay strong. These videos help me remain strong & continue moving forward. Thank you, Coach Ken.
For sleep, TH-cam has old time radio shows that play 11 hours plus. They have horror, noir and even comedy. But it always puts me out like a light especially the noir and horror. Look up Old Time Radio Show.
@emchammer1815...For ASMR, the best I have ever found is: John Butler, ASMR...thanks.
Dearest Coach Ken,
Your wisdom/strength/intelligence is greatly appreciated
💪😁
Your kind words and encouragement are greatly appreciated! Thank you
You’re the BEST coach on TH-cam! Bravo
Thanks I can't say enough how much your words have helped me. You are spot on about what's going on with me now. I have been with a manipulative narcissist and it's taken me 5 years to figure it out with your help. 2 days into no contact she called me crying wanting to come back, but now I know if I do that I will just have to go through this again in a few months.
Coach Ken is Phenomenal!!!!!!! He has helped me tremendously..He has made my issue so much easier ..Thank you Ken
Coach Ken, what if you are so tired of their lies and everything they do. Just need to say good bye, and need that boredom to be normal. Am really ready to move on. It's not the pain it's the limbo. You are so right need to get over this munipulator.. Need to get my mind out of the suffering in silence. 🙄😭
Don''t fight the ache - just accept it as evidence of your authenticity, sincerity, and depth instead of weakness.
I been with narcissist for 25 yrs, i always ask God what to do with his attitude, then it comes that i accept that his like that,but he hurt me to the point that i want to take my life because i dont want to feel such pain.thanks to my best friend who helped me overcome everything,thanks God that i learned about narcissist.
I am working with Coach Ken- he is so amazing- I love working with him. If you have the chance to work with him- do it. DO IT
Thanks violingirl88 - much appreciated
God blessed me with Coach Ken and Coach Lee
You are a very wise man and I like the way you explain difficult matters things in simple terms . I imagine that you may be also had a tough journey dealing with difficult people in your life. You talk from experience! Thank you.
The best bits of the relationship you are taking with you-i love this 🥰
For me writing works...miracles.... For me the.... The effort i give for the wordplay helps me to feel that intensity and release it gradually.... I feel very relaxed once i complete a segment..... For me right now it's poetry and writing songs..... But i am thinking of trying this with a story... It has helped me a lot.....
Hi Ken, I was involved with a narcissist for 5 years. I never knew he was a narc. He came off like a real gentleman, good looking, and had a great personality. Something told me, GUT FEELING, HE'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. I really fell for him. After all the love bombing for about a year, we became engaged. That turned out to be a FUTURE FAKE. As time went on, I noticed I was paying for our dinners and even 1/2 of our Vacations. He never told me how much money he made. I needed to know so we could start planning our wedding. Well,, he had no intentions of getting married. The gaslighting was a nightmare! He made me think I said something that I didn't, he did things which he denied, etc.. I could write a book. I was devastated when I found out about him. I was physically sick with a stomach ailment, accompanied by a broken heart! I went into Therapy, read self-help books, and accidentally found Coach Lee. I binge watched Lee for days and listened to his 2 videos on narcissism. WOW! I learned so much from his videos. Everything he mentioned was TRUE..So after 5 years of suffering, it took me 2 years to get over the LOVE & MISSING him. We had no CLOSURE, but I did my own mental closure. I never heard or saw him again. I still hear our songs, but they mean NOTHING! There are so many narcs out there from stories I heard that you must be careful. I learned the signs of a narc thanks to years of experience. Great topic Ken..One last thing. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR GUT FEELING...
This is awesome, I'm def hooked on the non-neuro-typical type.. Will start to base my self worth on me instead more
"hooked on the non-neuro-typical type" - I feel your pain
This was an absolute blessing today. Thank you💜
Thank you for the kind words Brandy
Video was amazing.. it will
Help I promise even when the pain is unbearable… sometimes pain is the greatest teacher and the motivator so use it to ur advantage
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
A friend of mine would listen to the opening song of the movie Apocalypse Now to go to sleep. She says it worked every time.
Great work Coach Ken 👍🏽 dealing with a narc for a while. Your guidance looks practical and inspiring; thanks 🙏🏼
Love u man! Great and super-realistic approach! 🙏🏻❤️
Thanks! Much appreciated
@@CoachKen ✨🙏🏻✨
Jesus. This hit hard. Looking forward to our talk next week
Wow Ken hit the nail on the Narc head.! Thanks Coach Ken.
Coach Lee and Ken … out here changing lives ❤
Thank you so much for this.
this video is exactly what i needed, thank you my friend
Great Advice
Can you make a video about moving on from no contact. I know some people don't want this, but for us who have decided to move forward, it could really help me right now
I trust you coach. God bless your heart
Thanks for the motivation. Much appreciated
Take zinc, magnesium before bed
Interesting ! thx
btw relaxing feett /legs muscle and counting backwards from 50 or 100 to 1 helps with falling asleep
your words are my thougts and what i have lived ! Its just woow cant believe it ..its hard dealing with this constantly in your head and beiing the only one understanding it … Videos like yours make me remember that im not alone … and tank god .. i got over that demon … wouldent take that poison back in my life!! Tank you !
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Ha slapping you, not doing shit for For your bday.. not telling friends or family bc you know they’d kick them to the curb.. this is so crazy. Like You were there with me lol
And yes after my dad was killed early in life I tried to abolish all anger, in order to save myself. But now I need to get angry with what she did to me. It’s hard. cognitive dissonance is real
This is good advice and practical advice
"I don't want to see another story on 48 Hours inspired by Coach Ken"😂😂😂
Restraining order works well!
Please talk about an avoidant personality disorder/dismissive avoidant ex
Planning to do a series on attachment styles
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Thanks!
Thank you Vic!
Brilliant guy…thank you
Please make a video that talks more about how the notebook is a lie
That could be a good idea for a series - I believe it is. I believe I will
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Coach kennnnn , pleaaaase! I will donate if needed but get a good microprone
Are the more current videos still difficult to hear? th-cam.com/video/EOh-8l3fCUY/w-d-xo.html
Adjusted some things for next video set for tomorrow
Thanx
4:21 awesome point about how bad it is to continue to have a conversation with them.
Thank you Sir
The narcissist or borderline will attempt to come back once you're doing better than you ever were. This is what I did....
I treated her like a play mate while dating other people. She came to my place. We hung out, had fun & hooked up. However... I didn't let myself get attached because I knew she's a narcissist. I did it once a week with her keeping texting at a minimum. I also spoke to many other women to avoid the addiction I once had with her. When she wanted to spend more time with me I acted like I was busy. Eventually she started snooping and found out I was dating someone else and she had a mental boom. I discarded her after just like she did to me. She played the victim. She was unable to understand she did the same thing to me years ago when she fucked my best friend. She's only concerned about herself. She completely lacks empathy. As terrible as it sounds I got a kick out of it. But now I just pity her. She's sick and can't be fixed. Good riddance though.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
When I left my narc, I changed my phone #, I got out of Social Media and moved....he can't find me. It's been years..
Your videos are good
Is your video here aimed at a particular age bracket ?
Ivwatch all of you videos understand everything. I blocked my ex completely and his family. Its been 6 months i feel ive healed and im ready if everyone is blocked and i wantvto show ive moved on not with the intentions to play mind games. Just to show what ibtold him i never needed you i wanted you but like you said in your video i dont want to be with anybody that does not want to be with me. Me posting geneuen things ottings friends new friends goid real times vacations etc how he suppose to see i moved on if he is completely blocked everywhere? He lives out of USA
What if you have kids together ?
This is a great question
Wouldnt it be better to keep your life as normal (social media) just act as if you do not care, no replies, no conversation, no attention
Bad version = party, happy, never better, Good version = content, engaged in life, not good or bad = normal
If that was a girlfriend it was going to be over long time ago! But when that is a wife where you have children together that is something really on a different level. Do you know about what its is referred as midlife crisis.? If so can you please make a serious of videos on this important topic for us any time soon?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Felt like this video was made for me went to Florida on my bday says he needs a break from me oh plus verbally abusive
I'm sorry Tasha - Deep breath, and give yourself time to hurt without beating yourself up for being as authentic and sincere as he isn't
Will this work with my estranged narcissistic daughter..its been 12 years since she married a thing. I have been severely depressed, reached out sent flowers for her birthdays
..nothing..not even a thank you. I need to walk away and move on but I'm struggling
It does work - let her sadly feel the weight of your absence - so give her the emotional support you provide which she takes for granted and allows her to deal with her toxic partner
@Coach Ken thank you x
If you think you want them back, remember how cruel they were when they left you.
What if you can't get away from the bpd because of my situation how do you treat them to win them back or stay neutral???
Try to stay in the moment and not push for commitment. Want for them is good - Need for them is unattractive to them in most cases
How do i deal w what i think is delusional thinking on my part? I know what they have said and did to me portraying that they don’t care yet i convince myself thats false they really do love me but scared. Is it my ego or protection of myself like an attachment disorder response? Like i cannot bear the truth? Ive done this w all my relationships….
Marker for this one - email me this at dotheyloveme.com
Coach Ken. I'm currently 3 months no contact from my BPD ex. Didn't replay to a Christmas message from her. Profile photo showing off her new man. I have been tempted to block but doesn't that suggest that I was thinking of her ....rather than simply ignoring ?
Sorry for the delay but stay strong - if you did reach out hopefully it went well but if not deep breath and pull back
I just want to move on already after 2 months of no contact.
Does this apply to non narc and not bpd ex?
I didn’t reach out for over a week after breakup. She reached out, wants to exchange stuff tomorrow. Seems hopeless.
Coach why don’t you have more times for your one on ones
What if they are not narcissists?
What about when you have a family of 6 kids
To book a coaching call with me on my website:
dotheyloveme.com/
How about holding me against the wall and strangling me till I almost pass out? F! Yes I called the cops! There’s a full restraining order now.
Don't go back ever
Hi coach how do I get to talk to you
Hi yw - You can schedule a call at dotheyloveme.com/ - and can email me at coachken@dothyeloveme.com
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
4:31 awesome point
Sex one word that's it
Amen. Coupled with the actual capacity for love and respect (one sided) that came with the mind blowing sex. I couldn’t even perform the way I was in the beginning due to the verbal abuse and switching. I mean who could but another toxic person? Ken says a lot of beautiful things here. It’s almost hard to believe he went through it bc he projects such strength.
Reactive Abuse
your Audio levels are very very low!
need to work on your gain structure
its so low it can barely be heard on a phone
You need a new phone then.
thanx
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together