“I’ve filed for bankruptcy twice…Will I ever stop spending?”
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.พ. 2025
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to LaKiesha (38) and James (45) who have fallen into a cycle of overspending-convincing themselves that wants are needs and that enjoying money now outweighs planning for the future. Their lack of financial foresight has left them without a safety net, and the weight of their debts has even led LaKiesha to file for bankruptcy.
Recently, they moved in together; but with that fresh start comes the baggage of their complicated financial pasts. Trust has been tested, and they’re being forced to confront their differences in financial values and upbringing. Can they break free from the habits that have kept them stuck?
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Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Audience always wants people of different incomes and situations. Good work Ramit
Yes finally people I could relate to and understand what they going through. I’m 42 going be 43 in September. I did a lot of dum mistakes. At least I started educating myself late 2023. Right now the only debt my wife and I have is a car loan. Less then $6000 still owe. We’re hoping by May we done with that payment. I got out of all my debt last summer. Gonna open a Roth IRA this year. We have saved for a down payment on a home but won’t buy until the car is paid off first. We building our emergency fund. And gonna open a 529 plan for our toddler this year as well. Good job ramit 🤘🏼
Finally Ramit gets a couple on the show that would be typical Caleb Hammer fodder. Very realistic situation
These are people we can finally relate with. Thanks 👍🏾
@@JediKnightofChrist_329good luck!
This couple is one of the most self -aware couples I've seen on the podcast. Feels great to watch their thought processes and reflect on their upbringing. Hope y'all successfully break your generational traumas and make a better life!
Lovely couple. Wishing the best for them.
I want to say thank you to this couple for being so vulnerable and coming on the show. Some of the comments show just how blind some people are to the privilege of financial literacy, especially if you come from a lower socioeconomic background. They clearly want to make a change and I am rooting for them.
This is a lot more relatable than those with over a $200k+ net worth. Thank you for sharing and being transparent.
That’s what I was going to say because some of us are not even making six figures and working hard to save and invest.
I would not call 190k in consumer debt relatable. Not to criticize anyone.
@@thiammariam2938 my statement is that far more people have a negative net worth over a positive one regardless of the amount in the negative. There are only 22 million millionaires in the country in relation to the population being 300+ million. Most folks with a positive net worth includes home equity.
There's so much to say but I wish I could give the twelve-year-old LaKiesha a hug and tell her she'll be okay. I can't imagine the trauma of waiting for your only parent to come home, not knowing where she is or what version of her you're going to get. The one person who she should trust stole from her. I'm glad she's here to not let this trauma drive her life. She's come a long way and she can go a lot farther.
this episode made me sad. and many many kids go through this. as a parent, it is my night mare to ever do that / have my kid experience that level of neglect.
Same!
This couple is brave to share and be so vulnerable. That's hard to put it all out there ❤ way to go. Great episode
This was your single best episode of the podcast Ramit. INCREDIBLE stories and vulnerability from both parties. So impressed as a long time listener. ❤
I like your channel for the reason that it makes me think against my natural urge to just be upset with the guest or to call them lazy. While parts of it may be true, tracking down the reasons and making them aware of why they keep coming to bad money decisions is so much more valuable than a lot of the other online financial advisors. You seem to actually have affection/compassion towards them and their struggles. Keep up the good work!
I am rooting so hard for this couple! Thank you for sharing your story- most relatable episode yet.
“CIGARS AND ALCOHOL?!!?!!” 😂 ramit’s reaction made me chuckle ngl lol I’m excited to watch this episode
I mean, at least put it in your grocery list lol
You know what, at least they're honest.
@@Capycorg agreed beer is on my grocery list tho 🫠
@@Capycorg That impressed me.
@@bsoria7980 my husband definitely had us put the alcohol budget as a separate category from groceries, which I think was fair and helps keep me honest 😅
My heart goes out to her hearing about those experiences with her mom. Wishing this couple the very best and rooting for them.
I love when these episodes highlight the many similarities between black and brown cultures. We were taught a lot of the same lessons for the same reasons that have many of us tackling similar issues today. It just highlights why your books resonates so much ❤
These folks are so brave for coming on, don't know them but I am proud of them. Wishing them the best
This was hard to watch.. this is really how Ramit nailed it when he says working on the CSP for hours wont do nothing unless you adress the things of the past! these past traumas are very much present for this couple and I feel for them… I can’t wait to see part 2. ❤
one of the better (if not the best!) episodes in my opinion - at least for me - it helped me realize something about my past as well and make the connection! - Thanks LaKesha, James, Ramit & the team!
Tough episode but so glad to see guests who are so open and authentic, Romit navigated well, a lot of emotional intelligence. Wish these two all the best.
Thanks for sharing your story LaKeisha. I had a lot of parallels (incarcerated mother due to financial issues and money taken without permission as a young person) and then myself working to recalibrate as an adult. This episode was helpful to me to learn so thank you for putting yourself out there. I appreciate you.
10:20 really appreciate the honesty, it’s not easy to be vulnerable about your weaknesses
LaKiesha’s story is heartbreaking… she couldn’t trust the only adult in her life to take care of her so she keeps searching. She was on the path of self-destruction. So brave and inspiring for LaKiesha and James to reach out and agree to share their raw emotional history. This was a great episode and I look forward to episode two… Even though I hate waiting.😂
This was a great episode, looking forward to part two. I definitely find more value in these challenging episodes where there’s real money issues, not just a fear of spending a bit more to enjoy life. Glad you tackled this one
Great episode!! Real people with real money issues.
1000000% agreed
Wish I knew it was a two-parter before I started it… Cliffhangers! 😅
Interesting the “can I get away with it” analysis. I see it in my teens already - but didn’t realize it was coming from ME in these ways til just now. Lots to ponder today.
The “Can I get away with it” mentality! That was SO useful and Insightful! Definitely going to use that to filter my intentions when spending, etc. Thanks Ramit.
It was a lightbulb moment for me as well!
Our childhood as black people are so different. Most of the time we are trying to survive. Trying to get a piece of the dream. Our childhoods always seem so full of struggle compared to other groups. There's enough trauma for everybody but my people always seemed to have this trauma from lack and no education about money. Thank you for trying to help us too. I love your show.
The sad truth
as a black woman that story is not universal but is true for many. I think believing its universal reinforces a certain narrative.
This!!!! My god this!!’ Money is so taboo to discuss with us and it’s so much secrecy fear and shame
I acknowledge that the black experience has nuanced differences. However, financial insecurity creates the same struggles for everyone. How the adults respond to it makes a difference on how the children are impacted. As an educator in low income schools I’ve seen parents that manage with true dignity and grace, and others with a burden of shame. Shame will cause people to create false narratives that make allowances for fraudulent behavior.
@@gracesimplified3860the struggles that people experience from financial insecurity are not the “same” for everyone in America. Ramit has mentioned many times how predatory loans and redlining affect black people and people of color at a greater scale. saying there are nuances to the black experience yet the struggles are the same is simply not true
44:43 I think she makes a great point that I don’t hear from many guests. A good perspective for us all!
You say it’s a great point but most of the guest on this show prove you can’t just get a health outlook on your finances without help. This is the first helpful advice they’ve ever gotten on finances in their life because all the people in their life are probably also just getting by or in the exact same debit as them.
This couple sounds like they can do the work, and Ramit, you did an excellent job navigating this conversation. I'm really rooting for them❤
Watching this is triggering but helpful. It reminds how far I've come and where I am in my journey. Honesty with myself has been the most important part of my journey. I'm not far into this episode yet but I am grateful to you, Ramit, for all of the diverse experiences you attempt to portray on this channel.
There's such a huge emotional component to money management. I appreciate that Ramit addresses this in his videos! I wish this couple well! ❤
Ramit, this was one of your best breakdowns of a past I’ve ever seen!! Sooo good. So happy Lakeisha got her aha moment
Y’all had a great conversational dynamic. Really enjoyed this episode. Thanks to the couple 🙏🏼
This is the most relatable couple I have ever seen on this show. I am cheering for them!
Beautiful episode with real humans who grew up struggling.
Best episode since Fernando and Anushka - it makes for a much better episode when both halves of the couple are engaged with the issues and motivated to change.
What a sweet couple. I’m grateful they are on because so many couples struggle with finances like they are. Not everyone is high income earners who grew up middle class. This episode will help a lot of people and educate them as well. I look forward to more relatable episodes like this in the future.
Im so happy Ramit gave this couple space and time to say things outloud. One thing is being told you're irresponsible and another is saying it out loud yourself for the internet to hear. They've both been through it, thankfully they're working on getting to a better place together.
Great Episode! I was 100% invested . Unfinished business from our childhood experience showing up in all aspects of our lives. Crazy!
Great episode. Thank you for showing a different type of financial situation. Looking forward to next week. Learning a lot!
This is probably the bottoms 20% average situation but they have an income above the top 10%
They look like they care deeply for each other❤
This was deep. Kudos and thanks to this couple for sharing thier story with all of us.
The story about Target is very relatable!
There's a store where I live (not the US) that is kind of like a dollar store and has all those things you see advertised on the sides of internet pages at extremely low prices. It's fun stuff or cute office supplies or cooking gadgets or household items. I go in for one or two things and I leave with 12. It's easy to say that it's just a small thing; it's a good price; I can't get it anywhere else; I'll definitely use it. And all of those things are true, but I don't actually "need" these items. I literally call it "the store where I buy things I don't need."
The truth is though that those little things do fill a need - an emotional need. It's a nice little thing that I deserve and reward myself with and each individual thing won't break the bank, but all 12 things start to make a dent.
The only way for me is to not go to that store unless I'm prepared to get the cute things I didn't know I wanted or needed. In terms of a "diet," that store is a cheat day. Or I can make space for it as guilt-free spending and mini shopping therapy 🙈
Thank u LaKeisha and James for being so open and honest about your finances. You will be helping a lot of viewers. It's never too late to start Saving! Pay yourself first is the key to financial success. Good luck to the two of u! :)
LaKiesha says she likes to be in control of her own things- one example: making her own dried foods. I can totally relate to that as while I’m listening/watching this video, I’m making Greek Yogurt. Using $2.00 worth of whole milk to make $15.00 worth of yogurt. Maybe not the best value of my time, but it’s the very best yogurt one can eat. It’s majorly satisfying. I admire her for choosing to try to make her own things. She should be proud of that desire.
It’s a great video. I love this couple.
But she's buying stuff to supposedly make her own, then never uses it. That's the issue.
@@NoellepIndeed. You made a conscious decision to buy that machine, who are we to judge your rich life? Buying stuff that you don't use on an impulse is not.
Appreciate the diversity of the couples ramit! I also like how you are culturally responsive in your questions!
This is a very interesting comment what questions did you see pointing to culture?
Ramit pointed out a common occurrence in Asian and Indian cultures and asked if it was similar in Black cultures. @@Kevin.Grindel
You got this LaKeisha &James! Don’t give up on your future!
I can't wait to see part 2! I hope they can make some positive changes and improve their situation.
This was a nice relatable episode 👏🏾💜
Look if you do not hold yourself accountable, no one can and they cannot dig you out of your hole. You both need to address with your problem on your own before you get together and combine your finances. If we are not willing to making changes to save ourselves, who will?
This is a great therapy session. Thanks Ramit for being so kind.
1:13:15 Wait $300 a month for gas WFH. She driving somewhere! 😂
Target 😂
That's strange. We pay $300 a month for gas for one vehicle (its probably closer to $700 for both).
Love this couple! Thank you for being on this very public platform to help all of us. Thanks Ramit! Can’t wait to see the next one!
I’m half way through and for the first time I’m wondering if there’s not going to be a “I start my $300,000 part time job next week” moment. Love they they’re on the show, anxious for the resolution and hopeful for a great outcome for them! Love this show.
This was relatable coz time creeps up on you and before you know it you're without any investment or savings.
This was such a relatable episode for me (some parts - age etc). I can really empathise with them regarding the lack of savings and investments. Very similar incomes to my Husband and I. I'm really looking forward to Part 2.
Another great episode! Thanks to Ramit and team, as well as the guest couple for sharing and being vulnerable ❤
56:35 As an adult to burden a child with a responsibility that is ours is a form of abuse because it’s not their role… As a child, having a parent do that makes us feel that we are responsible for adults but don’t have the authority or capacity to do so. We then grow up with fear and a lack of stability. (Speaking from personal experience).
Lovely couple, I really hope they can work through their money psychology concerns and start planning for the long term. Great episode, can’t wait for next week’s!
Great episode! I don't know if they are on here reading comments but if they are, LaKiesha, please get tested for ADHD. A lot of the things you said set off alarm bells for me that you might have it. It's not just hyperactivity, it's also impulsive behavior and dopamine seeking which can take the form of compulsive shopping and also when you said you had trouble finishing things you started, that's very common for people with ADHD. It's also highly genetic and your mom having gambling problems is a red flag for ADHD as well. People with ADHD are far more likely to have addictions than people without, for example ADHD is five to 10 times more common among adult alcoholics than it is in people without ADHD. That is absolutely huge. Women are underdiagnosed with ADHD and people of color are even less likely to be diagnosed. You owe it to yourself to at least bring it up with your therapist and see what they think and if they agree, they can refer you for further testing. Medication and proper support could make a world of difference.
48:01 wow, LaKeisha had to grow up fast with her mom going to jail ... Cant imagine being away from your mom for 2 YEARS at that age. I am hopeful she can turn things around financially and more importantly, in terms of her happiness in life.
This episode to me was very realistic and very difficult to get through because I see so many parallels that would have been my life if I did not become financially literate. I'm thankful this couple found you and will be able to give the information needed to become secure financially and begin to live their Rich life
47:22 whew! Very heavy conversation
Thank you for sharing a couple with really hard financial difficulties and backgrounds. I echo the common comments that hearing from large portions of the 5% or less top earners in the country can be difficult to have empathy for.
I can relate to LaKiesha a bit. I grew up poor and we didn't have a lot of entertainment options. Going to K-mart and convincing mom to buy us a lipgloss or something was really exciting. Looking back, she probably caved more than she should have because she felt guilty that she couldn't provide more for us. Anyways, for a long time in my 20's I told myself that I was really frugal because I never bought anything expensive, but I spent a lot of time scrolling on Etsy and other websites picking out random crap that I "needed". Like "oh, I don't have any decorative hand soaps that match the new towels I bought. Washing hands is essential, therefore I NEED to buy some". The problem is if you're not high earning, those low dollar purchases really add up over the course of the month. I'm not an expert on how to stop, but some things that worked for me were making wishlists on these websites, since more than half the fun was browsing and comparing items, but not letting myself purchase until a month had passed, at which point I might not even want that thing anymore. Also getting into crafting. Having something to do with my hands while listening to a podcast or watching a show physically prevented me from scrolling through products online. Good luck to her!
great tips!
I like hearing lower income couples that may be learning still about money much more than higher earners because I feel like it’s so realistic and relatable. Higher earners can easily get themselves out of a bad situation while the average person cannot and has to plan. Love this episode
I relate to this deeply. My mother was also a single mother and had/has a gambling addiction. It took her going to jail twice and myself filing charges for fraud before she got her act together. For my mom, it was secret. She hid until she couldn’t hide no more.
Now, after 15 years, our relationship is great. But it’s still work everyday. It still takes me checking in to make sure she’s not hiding.
Because I had to be “the adult” so young, I went a different way where I worked extremely hard to get a good job and afford a house on my own. I never want to be in a position where addictions control my life.
Great show! Game me some things to think about. This couple was very vulnerable and likable. Ramit unpacked a lot.
Never related more to a subject on this show. Love her rooting for her
I absolutely love this story! I feel like this is a dynamic a lot of the black community deal with. (At least in my own community)This is so eye opening and little emotional because of all the connections personally. Let me go finish this damn book!!
Interesting episode, so far, and I'm happy they're getting help, especially my brotha attending therapy...So this will be a two-parter, but I'm hopeful for them. 🤞🏾
Thank you for the podcasts and books. I just found IWT last year and read the first book. I am now reading Money for Couples and have gifted my adult children your books as well. My oldest felt defeated by the principles of other financial teachers. You give us hope and a way to save while still leaving room to enjoy life. Thank you for that!
I love this couple and really hope the best for them. Biggest advice I have for them is to automate their debt payments, savings, and investing so that it’s out of sight and out of mind. Then whatever is left in the checking account after bills can be used for shopping guilt free. Then as they get more disciplined, they can set up other goals for their excess funds.
Awesome episode, I can’t wait until part 2
Wow!!! Best episode in a long time!! Love this couple, and I wish them the best! ❤
Lovely couple. Their story is very relatable. Great episode and assessment, Ramit. Brilliant as always!
Nooooo I have to wait until next week....
Appreciate this couple's conversation and realization they are having
Lakeisha and James are courageous to share their story. ❤
I'm hopeful this couple will bounce back if they realize that it will take time and a lot of effort to undo decades of financial damage. I'm excited to watch the second part!
Damn, this episode hit me different... "Can I get away with it" may just be my unconscious mind too..
This episode is very different from the ones he has been doing before. I can see the lady in myself bc of the Amazon purchases and getting the plastic white mail basket with multiple packages. That happened to me one time. Very interesting. 😂
Man that was sad listening to her talk about her mom’s gambling addiction. Financial illiteracy / ruin can be generational. Hoping they can break the cycle.
People either learn from other’s mistakes or replicate them in one form or another. I hope they can learn and apply what Ramit teaches them.
Please have more people with these kind of situations. These are more real life.
Ramit Freud Sethi digging deep
I'm an LMFT and I love how you ask them questions about their money stories and how much their feelings influence their money. You validate them while also being direct.
Those teenage years you talk about, it's likely due to parents realizing how much the American Dream was false, like "I did all I was supposed to do and I'm not happy, so I'm going to do something I've been wanting to do, but held off because the kids were too young".
Its like parents end up viewing high school as a check-point of parenting and shake it up, but don't realize how it'll impact the family. Very common.
And kudos to LaKeisha and James for being vulnerable and breaking so many cycles.
Great first part! Hoping for the best next
I love this, we asked to see more representation and he gave it to us in a quick turnaround. The Anti-DEI commenters better not get their knickers in a twist, it’s been 2 black couples 2/3 months. You still had 8 to 10 audits of the usual. Nothing major at all. Don’t cry.
I love how you’re preemptively coming for any wayward commenters, lol! 😂😂
So far, everyone has been rightfully supportive of this couple, and I hope it stays that way. They reflect the potentially lifelong consequences of traumatic money messages learned in childhood, and many people across the board can relate to them.
What are you talking about? Is everyone non-black the same? Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern - just a generic "not-black"?
@@arh1234 😂 how did what I say even imply that? See you are the type of person I meant when I said “don’t get your knickers in a twist” just because I addressed them as a group doesn’t mean I think they are all the same. I’m just highlighting its more black representation. Stop crying.
@@aic0809exactly childhood financial trauma comes in all colors ask people in the Appalachian region or small farming communities across the country and I bet you will see many of the same stories.
Man, her story hits home. But I'm super risk adverse when you have a parent that gambles. I had a hard time trusting my husband because of my past. Yea, lots of therapy.
Very good podcast. Thanks Ramit!!!
Lakiesha and James, you got this! Both of you seemed to willingly want to grow emotionally and financially. Follow through with your actions. If you slip, try again. Keep at it!
When we had small children, we quickly learned to leave them at home with the other parent while doing the shopping. Makes everything quicker, more efficient and there was no begging by the kids. Worked perfectly well and saved us a lot of nerves and money. Don't take your kids to the store with you! Our neighbour is a single parent and asks the neigbours to look after the kids while doing the grocery shopping.
i do the opposite, take them to the store, and teach them self control. that will go a long way when they are adults. anyway, in this case, the issue was not the kid at all, it was the parents.
Damn, Ramit really had to shift into 5th gear. As always, extremely valuable and insightful. Looking forward to part 2.
Please bring her Mom & daughter on. 🙏
Suuuch a great point about so many people infantilizing themselves. Not only is that not good for them, but it's putting way to much pressure on the others around them. Your loved ones shouldn't have to be dealing with a child. (No hating on this great couple who was open and vulnerable, it was just a very good observation from Ramit.)
Great episode!
Man her credit must be shot from the bankruptcies, she's paying over $800/month for a 33k car?? Youch...
Lovely couple! They are so honest and admit to having no good reason for their situation. Hopefully they can improve their situation by starting today. I wish them all the luck and I'm sure they will be allright.
Very frustrating episode to watch but I’m really glad they’re getting help
Listening to this has made me realize. That mom would send me into the store when she didn't know if she had enough money. Or give me a million pennies to go buy something. Nowadays I always make sure I have enough money on hand.
Interesting episode!
My best friends dad bought him a mini bike @12 years of age. My father bought me a lawn mower. My friend struggles in retirement, I am a millionaire. Turns out, my gift was better.
its amazing when you have great parents, setting good values and exaples.
Dude my favorite part of this show is Ramit’s face as his guests give reasons for not having read his book. They’re like “😮😅🥹,” whole time he’s like “😏🥱.” Look at this 58:30