I think you are looking at things from an upside down position. Neither of you is nothing. You are both worthy of all the love and respect any other miracle is. Your job, should you decide to accept it, is to find/be aware enough to recognize when someone is willing to start mirroring your own behaviors. Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery. Are you willing/able to reciprocate?
The woman should want you for the person that you are. If you don’t have a lot of money and you’re working on a minimum wage job and she loves you still and stays with you through your journey, she’s a keeper. She should encourage you and you should encourage her. It’s about team work, working together and helping each other out
Why do people always say to never be friends with the one who rejected you? I mean sometimes I do that but most of the times i don’t cause I hardly ever am ‘down bad’ for anyone, like if they reject me I’m moving on within the day. I don’t mind being friends unless it’s clear they’re still using it against me
@@milliesaysokboomer Because it’s better for your mental health if you didn’t want to get dumped and if you’re heart broken and send you through a hell of turmoil. And it also increases the likelihood of getting back together with an ex partner
A girl once told me I was her "back-up" guy in case the relationship she was in didn't work out. I responded to her she better get a different "back-up guy". I don't play second string in relationships.
29 year old male here... I would NEVER accept a woman back into my life who broke up with me for 3 reasons... 1 - My feelings for her go away quickly after the breakup 2 - If she dumped me once, she'll probably do it again 3 - There are so many other girls out there to choose from
Boy Wonder - B S you don’t. The world is literally packed with equally ugly women. Your problem is the fact that far too many like you are eager to be friendzoned, simp for, or orbit such women, freely giving them validation they do not deserve and have not earned. Many take it one step further and end up pumping so much B S into such chick’s heads they end up truly believing they’re top notch and deserve nothing short of their delusional version of Prince Charming. This is why 80%+ of average or under women today think 80%+ of men are below average. Women are human just like you. The difference is they’re generally coddled from birth whereas we are not. Stop treating the fact they’ve a front hole as if it makes them all goddesses. There’s more of them than there are you…
They want your attention back but as soon as they get it they’ll ghost you and play games because they think they have you wrapped around their finger. Best thing you can do is completely ignore them.
Actually no blow up their phone and act deseprate, works 100% of the time they will get annyoed and in the long run they will never want to comeback to you. It never fails to do that, it pushes them away forever.
@@aquarius9043 Yea it is and funny enough i learned acting that way pushed females away, so then i started to use it as a way to have my butt cleared forever so i would never have them comeback. And to this date it has worked FLAWLESSLY, perfect move to do to get rid of them for good once they start moving outside of the relationship.
That’s me! He break up with me I start cry etc come back come back and we come together, after half year he broke up once again…… f*ck, don’t make my mistake!!!
I had 2 of my exes (one from 20 years ago and one from 8 years ago) try to get in touch with me during the pandemic lockdowns. They made it seem at first like they were checking up on me to see if I was ok... but eventually, their true motive came out and they asked to move into my place to get back on their feet because they were still living paycheck to paycheck and their workplace closed down. I deleted / ghosted them both. I paid off my mortgage in 2015 and it wasn't for women to invite themselves to move in and get comfy. They weren't present during the majority of my struggle so they aren't invited to share in my success.
The Covid lockdowns caused crazy people to come out of the woodwork because my older brother's girlfriend that he separated from 10 years before 2020 randomly called him a few months into the pandemic to move in our house. When my oldest sister heard of this scheme she gave my older brother a long lecture and told him that his ex-girlfriend is prohibited from coming near our house especially because she cheated on him and has kids with another dude. To this day my older brother has not spoken a thing about his ex haha.
There are good reasons why they come back normally by the age of 25 women have had a high body count and quite a few threesomes and are now looking to settle down with someone more permanently however after being with you for about 18 months they get very bored and go back onto the market so the best time for a man to get a settled relationship is when she reaches 50 by this time she has had an army of relationships and they will be undesirable to men mainly but not always because they are probably fat and have lots of body hair because they no longer feel the need to shave their legs every day at this age You can be 50% sure at this age they will be totally faithful which is reassuring If you want total assurance go for a fifty year who does not shave her face regularly as this will not appeal to many men I hope that helps!
Once you reject me. It's OVER. I don't give second chances, so if you dump me well then you've made your choice, live with it. Never give second chances. If they do it once they WILL do it again. If they did not appreciate you the 1st time around, they will NOT appreciate you the second time around.
Funny thing when you are single, finding a girlfriend is really difficult. But the moment you get a girlfriend that's when many other girls suddenly decide to give you the time of day.
If you get too thirsty again when she initiates contact, she will flake. You have to play it cool and let her do the chasing and initiating contact. When she does, set up a date, and then get off the phone until the date. When she was the one who left, you'll have to let her to all the pursuing when she initiate contact again.
It’s usually one of these: 1. They want to stroke their ego and see if they still “have you” 2. They want some quick validation and affection from you 3. They want to see how much you’ve moved on vs them 4. They need something emotionally from you 5. They’re guilty 6. The grass isn’t greener and they’re testing the waters IT IS RARELY EVER THIS: - They realize they made a mistake, have changed and grown, are more capable of loving you and giving you what you deserve and genuinely want to try again. People… if anyone rejects you and breaks up with you. Never take them back. You’re literally just communicating that it’s okay and you’re inviting them to do it again. They have all the cards and control. They now know they can walk away, fuck around with other people, and you’ll just take them back. Even if they’re with you, they won’t fully respect you (consciously or subconsciously). People rarely change, especially if they weren’t good to you while they were with you. Once somebody pushes you away, that trust is gone forever and there will never be a fully healthy relationship with a solid foundation. They lost THEIR chance with you, why are you giving them another go around to break your heart again? Find someone who wouldn’t leave you in the first place and made more of an effort to try.
I disagree with you. People can change, I'm proof of that. Everybody's situation is different, so what didn't work for you, could work for me and visa versa.
Inconsistency is the biggest red flag for me, being in a relationship with someone like that just makes you miserable and there are people out there more deserving of your time.
@@kevinc1593 How so? It's true. They're there in the open marketplace. They're not there FOR YOU but for anyone. It's up to you to compete. And there are more takers than there are "better women".
@@edheldude Your original comment was a reply to Profuse-Penguin where to me you came across that he didn’t deserve someone. That is what I was calling rude.
With more context, yes there are a lot of taker than good women, but that can be said for men as well. We’ve been conditioned to have to play a “game” and that to me is where the problem steams from.
Hello everyone, I am a 78 years old man and let me give you a great piece of that will save all your precious time in life. The greatest life's advice in terms of relationships romantic or non romantic it doesn't matter. The advice is if someone is leaving or left and then plans to return then never ever and ever let them come back. 99% of the people return because of regret which is actually the idea of not having something, and only 1% of them return because of the realisation or epiphany. Please don't waste your time.
True wisdom from a person I'm sure whose life has had it's own share of misfires, and mistakes. Thanks for sharing - it can be tough to maintain resolve.
I believe this. He was alone or not finding what he wanted that worked out for him. Almost two years later of disregard and him blaming me for everything and he “hopes to see me soon” but with no sincere answer as to why other than, “why not”. A 45 yr old man with a childish answer deserves nothing of my time. Question is why does he want to when I was the reason that either “ruined” everything I was to be the blame for EVERYTHING. And it is because he is alone, and I just came back from an over seas business trip. Was living my life, having the best of time and experiences. All without him so now he wants to reconnect? Is why i asked why, and got a why not answer. NOPE, I’m going to continue living my life without his misery, or being a subject matter of his choice for the moment. He chose to end it, so it should’ve stopped right there with me being a choice. I’m not a toy
Respectfully, older age doesn’t necessarily mean the correct nor healthy knowledge or success in relationships. Depending on how and why a person chose to leave the relationship, where they abused, neglected, not valued or cheated on or did a difference in life’s aspirations or goals differ? Depending on age, sometimes a person may come back wiser. But it doesn’t mean you should jump right in head first. Take things slow and watch for what they do and not what they say if you’re considering to reunite.
If anyone wants to come back, they need to earn it and things need to move slowly. That's a great way to filter out the more negative intentions because you aren't fully giving yourself back to them, and if they grow frustrated by it and try to rush things along then they aren't committed to it and just wanted an easy escape from stress or so on. If they genuinely care and want to work with you, they will do so.
Agreed. All these dudes talking about “never becomes someone back-up plan”. Like they already wasn’t a back-up plan. These women have a wide selection to choose from.
This response resonates deeply. If she wants back fr then she’ll invest herself into earning the opportunity for my consideration given the past proceedings.
Yes.. The fact that they can just leave you with no cares given to find someone else, fail, and just comeback, means they only care about what you provide, and not you. You're not a car to be test driven and then returned to the dealership.
The 'work on yourself' part is the most important portion of this video, in my opinion. A lot of people really need time to be 'single' and find joy from life that isn't filtered through attachment and codependency. If you aren't happy with your own company, then you'll never be a healthy contributor to a relationship.
100% this comment deserves way more likes. Most people these days are terrified of love an terrified of losing it. It is a tragedy. I married after being together then separating for several years. We had an incredibly profound relationship. Had a daughter. And we did break up again because he was so messy (he had grown immensely but not enough to wholly heal his soul) but stayed best friends until he passed away 15 years ago. We lived and loved so deeply and it was worth every second. I wouldnt change a thing. I have raised our daughter and she is an incredible young woman. She has asked me to write a book about my relationship with her father. Love deeply and know that it is beautiful to experience it all. Our life is incredible and short. Take it on full bore!
You can work on yourself and meet people were all growing and building as we get older going to work and then coming home after gym and sitting there being "single" for this weird set amount of time till someone else's thinks it's now time to live your life and find a partner is silly. Sure have hobbies, goals and dreams. But don't pause life to work on yourself life is short as hell and making a family or finding someone isn't going to happen by sitting at home after work and gym. And basically watching your life tick by. Doesn't mean you shouldn't be content being alone but it's human nature to connect and build with others. Most people who say this are the ones with a wife husband etc and have never really experienced the negative effects of prolonged exposure to being alone too much and almost sheltering themselves from living. We have only one life don't be afraid fight for it and live it and not on some societal time clock.
If someone can't stand beside me during a struggle, they ain't gonna stand by me during success. Thus, I'm not an option, not an upgrade, not a downgrade, and not a consumable.
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
People are not always ready to be in relationships at the same time. Plenty of people can't make it work due t lack of maturity, work schedules, unhealed trauma, etc. Someone who admits that they are not in the right place or they are not in a place where they can return your feelings or effort are a blessing because they free you to find someone who is. No need to be bitter about it as long as they go about it in an upfront manner. Some people are in a building stage and when they are done sometimes feel more equipped later and come back if the feelings were real.
Take her back but tell her your options are now also open to meeting someone else too. Make her know there is a price that she has to pay now and if she's not ok with that forget her.
My husband left me for another woman 4 years ago. Everyone kept telling me he was going to come back, because we have 3 kids together and he was a good husband and father. I truly believed he was going to realize he made a mistake and he would come back home. He never did. He's happy with the woman he left me for, and they seem to have it all. It was hard for me because I was blindsided by it all. I'm doing a little better now, the kids are now teenagers and we're getting by. I have health issues and recently had major surgery, I spent 4 days in the hospital and he never checked up on me. It is what it is, I'm still trying my best to be happy, it's not easy but I'm slowly getting there.
I hope you are doing better. Focus on your kids and yourself. There's a good man out there for you. Try to heal yourself as best you can so when you meet this man you'll be the best version of yourself. As a single man, I've met many divorced women who haven't healed and it shows within a few dates if not sooner.
Wow Courtney, this video is one of *BEST* ones you've ever posted; it so happens that what you described is exactly what happened to me recently. She left me a month ago and now she wants to come back, because I played it cool and told her that I'll be fine no matter what she decides to do. Of course internally I've been bleeding and hurting, but did not let it show. And this is the only way, guys. If you go crawling to her on your knees, begging and clawing, she will despise you. Mom taught me well, and I listened, took her advice; and IT WORKS!
You rock Courtney! Being dumped sucks. They did you a favor 😉 Leave the past in the past, cry 😭 it off, and take care of yourself. Here's a quote I've seen that is so true: "Stop chasing the wrong one. The right one won't run."
If someone rejected you. They did so for a reason. That reason doesn’t change. And never settle for being someone’s second choice…that just means they are still looking for their first choice.
I once dated a very honest woman and she was good at answering these questions. I asked her why x GF's always try to come back once you've found somebody. Her response was simple and to the point. "Because a woman wants what another woman wants, and women are very competitive." Best answer I ever heard on that score.
My ex come back to me few days ago❤ I got help from a relationship Restorer Dr Ezekiel who was able to mend back my broken 💔 relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for second chance.He can bring your ex back..
Don't take her word for that. That'z not woman, that's insecure people with no real self love behavior. I do not care, and I have never went back to someone. I have asked one of my exes about how they are doing because I genuinely cared. Your ex was a low life, lets leave it at that.
@@surasmitameher You're right about one thing. My X was a low life, but the woman who told me that was not my X. She never played that game with me. She merely explained it to me.
@Man Cave A world full of people, with different perspectives. If I see my ex with someone else, no way in hell I am even talking to them. A human isn't a property. And that girl who said what ever she said, 2 of my exes have done the same. It's about people, different way of thinking, no way represents women in general.
It's amazing. I have buddies ask me this all the time! My answer is always the same. #1 They cast the "fishing line" to see if you're still "on the hook" as a possible "option". #2 They simply just want attention to feel better about themselves. #3 They want to see what they can get out of you. #4 In RARE circumstances, depending on the health of the relationship and reasons for breaking up, they legitimately miss you and want to give it another shot. Why people can't understand these things is beyond me.
Stay strong my guys!! If she can leave you at your worst or cheat on you when you feeling a little bit more emotional she will do it again when you got back on track with life and goals. Find yourself one who builds together and stays even on your bad days
I had a very very bad fight after 6 years of very close friendship. I went back to her within a week of fighting. Not because I didnt find anyone better (which is the truth, TBH) but because I knew she had been there for me when others werent. Because the fight / friendship break-up happened not because of cheating but because we had started viewing life and values differently. But a lot of people put this same advice into her ear: never accept someone who returns. So i believe, this advice should not be taken literally. It should be applied on a case to case basis.
Worst mistake I made in my life was accepting the advances of a girl who rejected me before. Never do it. They will treat you with disdain, even if they cover it up well at first. The truth eventually comes out, "you are lucky just to even have me with you," type statements.
Yea that's what imma do. I had a girl I knew that I sent her flowers n stuff and would of called off the wedding if she wanted to be with me. So she said I'm a good friend and don't wanna be in a relationship. And gave my flowers to her co worker. So I moved on got myself to stop liking her. So that happened 2years ago. So today she had a pop-up business with vendors there and she wanted me to come. So I went to support it was her and 3 other ladies that was vendors there. And she was saying how there's no nice guys anymore and no one brings females flowers no more. I didn't react I paid for my shit n left. She tried to follow me out but I told her to have a good weekend. I had to find this video from Courtney
Yeah my ex literally started stalking me cause she dumped me and after 3 weeks started texting me "I miss you and you were honestly the best thing in my life. Just wanted you to know that." She showed up at my house when I wasn't home, then she showed up at my work cause she thought I was dead or something. Then she saw me at a restaurant and had her friend come up to me and said "you're an evil person for ignoring her!". But she was the one who dumped me! This was the same girl who absolutely despised me by the time we broke up, and just by kind of disappearing for whatever reason she couldn't handle it.
That sucks. But part of being a man is having the ability to be blamed over something you didn’t do and still move forward. You’re solid brother keep your head up
Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one mate. I had an ex years ago who dumped me, and ignored me every time she saw me. That is, up until she saw me with a new girlfriend (who was hotter than her). She came over and sat with my friends (who were also friends with her), and was all friendly and nice, pretending that every time she had ignored me over the previous months never happened etc. In reality, her ego had taken a hit because she liked the idea of me pining over her, and when she realised I was over her and with someone else (someone hotter), she needed my validation. I knew what she was doing of course, so I had a bit of fun at her expense, just to fuck with her ego a bit more. Saying that, I was in my early 20s at the time, so I wasn't really that mature, so getting revenge was enjoyable.
Thank you, Courtney. This honesty is very refreshing. I've also noticed that if the one broken up with is suddenly doing very well, the one that initiated the breakup was most likely the cause of most, if not all, of the relationship problems. It happens with narcissists and self-centered people because the person could be a victim of gas lighting and once they're not beaten down anymore emotionally, all of the sudden they bloom again once free.
Another point is, they always come back but never according to your timing. Sometimes the universe brings them back to see if you learned your lessons... The only point of a bad breakup is to ask yourself: what have I learned from this experience so I don't have to repeat the same stuff over and over again.
I always despised it when women try to get after you once they see that you're taken, they should never be given a second chance. If you become rich and successful, go after a woman that's on your league, or stay with the one that's been with you since you were nothing
You just explained my ex in 12 minutes. This so called toxic mind game people play in a relationship is honestly overwhelming for me. I'm so tired of these rules. I just wanted to be pure with my feelings and emotions. But now despite my so much effort left me in misery. I'm trying to be patient and trying to realize this world is not meant to be perfect. I'm struggling but I hope someday I'll be happy.
I think it can be tricky sometimes, personally i've fell into the grass is greener trap and lost a partner due to it. Afterwards I realised what I had lost with her and that i was being shallow, but also human and it's something I need to work on, but when I wanted her back I wanted her back for the right reasons, realising my mistakes etc rather than settling for her.
@Evidence-Based Health UK and that means I treated her like garbage? Absolutely not, it means I’m man enough to admit my flaws and realise my own internal issues that led me to feel unsatisfied. Are you perfect?
This has happened to me many times. Attractive young women have the illusion of unlimited options so they are reticent to commit to a guy actually in her 'commitment league' and not just interested in sex. Courtney says that maybe they see you are doing well after they dumped you and that turns them on or whatever --- ok but where were they when you were struggling? Are they going to abandon you again during hard times? That needs to be handled. This is why I don't watch a lot of women channels b/c they won't go there --- don't leave a guy when things get hard if you want an actual relationship with a man who actually cares about you.
@@TruthTV8556 Nah this absolves them of accountability. We used to shame divorce, and that is the way we need to go for this to stop. It's anarchy otherwise, opportunistic nihilism. If they can't be accountable for themselves then its high time we hold them accountable.
I honestly was in hard depression in my relationship. When I met her I did just fine, but I chose some ways in my career which made me think I dont have any more good perspectives. So I slowly got into depression and she broke up with me now a month ago. Looking at the situation and trying to be rational I cant blame her at all. I didnt love my self, I even hated myself honestly. The only thing I thought that went good in my life was her. Thats just not a base for a relationship to work out. I always thought when she breaks up, that my life is over - I am done! But the opposite happened. I cried when she broke up and those thoughts where in my head. Sadly, I wish i could ve had reacted better and make it easier for her and also for me. Anyway the next day I woke up, but I didnt just wake up from bed but I literally woke up. I went to the gym, started a diet, made a pro and con list for all my future perspectives and just started to go my way. In just 1 month, I lost weight, and do look a bit better (ofc U cant turn worlds in 1 month, but I found my way and I will be in shape in some months, - even if it takes a year or more I ll go that way. - I even went to a box training LOL and it was super rough but also super fun) - I found a job which I will start next month which is super good paid and... Idk my whole life changed and I can swear, that this is all she ever wanted from me. Nothing more, nothing less. I dont see her, I dont text her, nothing. I dont know what she is doing. Sometimes I do wonder. Sometimes I also do wonder if we ever broke up if I was a better version of my own. Anyway that girl saved me from my depression back then and Idk if i d be here without her. If she ll ever see me again, I can only look her into the eyes, If I m consitently on my way to become the best version I can be. And yea. Maybe. Maybe there ll be a chance that we come back together. Maybe not. Maybe She ll find someone else, maybe I will find someone else, but I would be foolish to say, that I should never take someone back who "dumped" me. Honestly, if I was her, I d be gone 1 Year earlier probably. But she always believed in me. Well atleast until she broke up, but If i m honest to myself, if she didnt break up, i wouldnt have changed anything. The Sad truth
@@HojaFPSI don't quite understand that. If you were OK when you met her andbadly iff later, didn't she contribute to your bad decisions? She never advised you into better decisions it seems.
I appreciate the down-to-Earth and balanced takes from women that we get from channels like this one. As a guy we normally just get the male perspectives on this type of stuff, so it's good to have some balance.
@@markquinn1216 yet you're here watching her, if you have nothing good to add, don't bother. Go and be envious elsewhere. Seriously, a person just shares his thoughts and compliments on the work of a person does and you go insane. What a mediocre way of living
If someone disrespected you and didn't care about you after you showed them how much you love them. Then just delete them and block them. Cut all ties. It's much better for your mental health.
Disrespecting a partner who has shown genuine love and support for you is a reflection of how you treat or feel about yourself. People who respect themselves respect others. That means communicating effectively and sticking with their decisions.
If you like someone and they like you back then be with them. Do not overthink or over analyze and best to not play stupid games. Life is short so be with someone who appreciates you. I think people have too much information overload. No one is perfect and most of us are not even close to being perfect. This girl is not a mature human being, don’t play stupid games, each case is different, may be they came back to you because they realized you were indeed the best person they have ever dated, be appreciative of that, especially if you still like the person.
Happened to me as well Courtney. For 3 years I've been trying to attract the girl I liked but she ultimately rejected me. The next year, I have taken care of myself like my body, diet, grades and suddenly she came back. I directly said NO not interested 😂
3yrs? This is the wildest girl chase I've heard since I knew women have pussy ... Bruv don't ever go down that road again 3yrs is a long fuccing time mate , she's not the only woman in the world , there's lots of them better than her and willing ..... I personally within the first week of talking and flirting and isn't looking promising , I'm gone, disappear in thin air and she'll never hear a word from me again
They come back when things don’t work out with the person they left you for. Simple. And they will leave again just the second they find another person that they think is “better”.
Never tell people to settle down for less, because that's where stopping starts! Absolutely nothing wrong with not being happy with what you have and keep on looking. If i didn't got out from toxic/abusive relationship I was in, I would hanged my self long time go. If your body/mind/soul tells you to move on on daily basis its probably a good indicator that something is definitely wrong. Also, only YOU can judge how good is your partner for you! Dont listen to anyone, because you are the one who will have to deal with that person for the rest of your life. Be yourself, listen to your self, act on your own behalf. Cheers!
They want you and get you when you’re at the top and then berate you and leave when you’re at the bottom. Now, I want to find someone who is happy with who I am at the bottom. Things will get better for me regardless of my relationship status and only someone who accepts and wants me at my worse will be there for me if I ever go through trying times, again.
Yes. I've experience the woman coming back when you find someone else a couple of times. I had a girl I was really interested in that put me in the "friend zone" all of a sudden become very interested when I got a girlfriend. I also had an ex who started contacting me after we hadn't really spoken to each other in about three years, when she found out I was engaged. SMH.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Could you elaborate what u meant by coming back. Is it coming back to wish u the best & having casual friendly conversations OR is it coming back to getting back together as partners ? Could you say what signalled the intentions?
@@karatsurba4791 The first young lady I mentioned called a couple of times and during one of our conversations basically told me that I didn't pursue her hard enough when I was interested in her which is why we aren't together. Trust me she knew how I felt when I was interested. It took a lot of self control not to cuss her out and hang up on her. The second young lady called me multiple times before I got married and asked if I was sure if it was what I wanted. This a person who previously had decided three years earlier that she didn't want to date anymore and basically wanted to see what else was out there. We literally had not spoken since. Then out of the blue she started calling me right after I had become engaged. She even called again after I got married. Needless to say Wifey was very pissed when that happened.
@@moetube74 Yeah you were just an option to the both of them and they wanted to mess around and not have to commit to anything serious till it was finally time. Meanwhile you found a woman that understands you have to be willing to commit sooner rather than later for it to go the distance and have something REAL. Good for you.
I've learned that you should never give someone like this the benefit of the doubt. They will act like "the prize" the entire time instead of being happy that you gave them a second chance. They will eventually reject you again (usually after using you for whatever pathetic validation they need at the time). Know your value and don't settle.
This is such a great video , Courtney! This is why is so important for men to have a strong frame from the very beginning. Setting clear boundaries and expectations is crucial to minimizing these silly games. If she notices a man's lack of options of weaknesses, she will come back everytime things don't go her way. Let her know that you have your own life and dont need a woman to be happy, and if she decides to leave you just open the door for her. If a man doesn't respect himself, nobody will.
I had one come back and talk to me after initially rejecting me. We were at a party and she saw me talking to another girl and to quote her, “she got extremely jealous”. An important note though is that she told me that she didn’t have feelings for me, I said okay and bye. 2 weeks later I got the I miss you text and can we talk text. We talked, she said she had feelings. It was by far the most turbulent emotional period in my life. We’re not dating btw, I was still the second choice after all that
It's not that she really wants you back. She just can not stand the fact, that you have moved on, without making any fuss. In the past, my ex girlfriend broke it up. Being me, I just walked away, wishing her the best, showing no emotions, remaining very calm. 2 days later she called me crying and that we needed to talk and that I never must have loved her, because otherwise I would not have left her that easy. At that time, I did not understand her at all. After all she ended it. Never take her back. Never.
I went back for the kids. I didn't want our kids to grow up in a single household. And then that didn't work. The kids actually told me its better when I don't live with their mom. Stay strong all part time dads.
Excellent video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my marriage of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
1. They're back up plan didn't work out as they hoped 2. You're with someone new or you moved on with your life and they sense it 3. They want to play games with you again 4. They want to keep tabs on you 5. Lastly they regret what they did to you and realized what they lost. If you want to get revenge on them the best revenge is living your life the best way possible and never looking back! No it's not getting a new guy and showing him off because that is straight up a rebound and that shows that you have not moved on. It also means YOU have work to do on your part! When you have completely moved on from the ex, then date someone new.
All of the above for me. I kind of rejected her when she tried to get back with me and a few weeks later she was with another guy she'd been seeing for a while. Glad I dodged a bullet
My parents dated in HS, this was the 1950's and my dad graduated and went into the Army. They broke up shortly before he went into the Army. I think they just realized that they were young and it was High School and he was going to be away, perhaps for years. Mom ran into my dad five years after they broke up but that was all it took. Both had experienced a lot of personal growth between the ages of 17 and 22. My dad came back after his service and was dating someone else, my mom was engaged to someone at the time She admits that he was always her first love and when she saw him again all those feelings came flooding back. I guess for him too because he broke it off with his girlfriend and my mom broke her engagement too. Was she looking for a better deal? Perhaps but truth be told the heart wants what the heart wants and they didn't have two nickels to rub together when they got married. They started life practically from zero and built one together. The guy my mom was engaged to came from a family that had money so it wasn't hypergamy that drove mom's decision I would have to say it was love pure and simple. In the end, they were married for almost 50 years. That was a different era I guess. The only situation I would think is viable to take someone back is through personal growth. Once you are past High School or College and you are an adult there is no circumstance I would take back anyone that rejected me. An old HS or College girlfriend may be the only exception if the reasons for parting were by mutual agreement that the timing was not right. It sounds harsh but I would never allow anyone that cheated or monkey branched on me back into my life no matter how sorry they claimed to be.
Seriously, I've had a lotta ladies come back to me in my past relationships after I kicked them out or they broke up with me. It's good to have more insight on why these have happened and how best to handle it. Thanks, girl.
Chilbuzo Nwankwo - It adds "insult to injury", when a woman stays with a guy, just to fill a void temporarily, just to leave once again.... I've never allowed an ex back into my life. Once they're an ex, you knew why it didn't work out in the first place. Another important factor here, is to not allow diseases to enter your life people! Remember.... The more partners involved.... The more likely you can contract an STD that can even kill you! A family friend had this happen, and he died from contracting HPV virus, by having sex with a promiscuous, loose woman, who had HPV! It's scary to see this virus spread rapidly throughout a person!! Trust me! You definitely do not want that!! 😱😨🤯
That advice (Focus on yourself and Achieve your OWN goals and let HER see that). Is the BEST advice that I've gotten, since being Single again. I broke up with my Ex this past December, so at the moment. I just want to be alone and focus on what I want to accomplish for MYSELF. I'll focus on finding somebody else, afterwards.
I'm very firm in my belief that once a relationship ends it should stay that way. It ended for a reason and taking an ex back is like trying to put poop back in your body after expelling it. Both times someone returned to me it was only when they realized I was in a new relationship.
It's hard to decline an ex because you once loved her but in most cases I'd say stay strong and don't accept her again. She left you very likely in a time where you showed weaknesses or had a bad time in general and she will do it again if that happens again. Life isn't always going up and a good woman for your future is one who is supporting and staying with you in your downs.
Are you out of your mind, finding a woman like that is basically impossible becase they have all been taken by either a top class pick up artist, the dominant abusive alpha male, a prisoner or a rich and powerful man, finding ANY women is insianly difficult, finding a good women, ZERO % chance !
I was with my ex for 3 years and she recently broke up with me. I had an anxiety episode that lasted for 3 months after I tried to get off my meds. She never looked at me the same way after that despite her being in the same situation when weI 1st got together, except hers issues lasted well over a year. I showed weakness and it killed the attraction.
Got divorced in 2009 and my ex-wife in Feb of 2010 called me crying about how we moved too quickly and wanted to get back together. I told her we could be friends and she lost her shit. My buddy who is a professional tinder dater laughed his ass off at my response. Never heard a guy pull the "we can be friends" on a woman.
@@Tyler-qw8kn Thats not weakness, thats not being fair. This whole can’t show weakness is setting everyone up for failure. Sometimes the breakup comes up out of nowhere and you try to process it and it spirals out of control. It isn’t fair for her to treat you like that AT ALL. I was in a situation like that recently and it broke me. I couldn’t walk for several months and resorted to cutting. She thought the cutting was to get her back (I said please don’t let this change your decision but I do want you). Turns out she never had any intention of getting back with me even before the cutting and she had alot of problems she never told me about and it was unfair for her to gaslight me like that. Tbh I am still not sure if I could say no if she came back. Partly because I know it was her friends whispering in her ear.
@@ElementalismGood one. The guy on Ronin Man channel says friendzone all western women and he's correct. 😂 Honestly I can't imagine any circumstance where it would be wise even to be friends with her. Keep at arm's length. 10 foot pole. 100 foot pole. 1,000,000 foot pole preferably. Maybe you could lurk way out on the periphery of her social circle to ensure she's not up to any shit.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Older guy here (53). I've been enjoying your videos. I particularly like how you don't take a his/hers side, but call it like it is. I'm more inclined to believe videos like this over one-sided videos. Great job! Keep it up.
I was with a woman that cheated on me repeatedly. I was clearly her second choice but didn’t realize it at the time. I wish I had. She only wanted to be with me when the guy she really wanted didn’t want her. Thanks for the advice and perspective on this issue. It helps!
That happens then when you try to move on they regret they cant have you. They cannot love unconditional. If she couldn't see it or wasted time move on. Women will secretly spend decades with your enemies like 'liking' you is a prize while they ingest your enemies nut.
I have had people come back after treating like a second class citizen. Let being indifferent. But one thing I’ve noticed is even when I take them back, I don’t feel anything for them anymore nor do we even talk as before. Perfect strangers pretty much.
36 year old guy here, and I just want to say Courtney that I wish I had found your channel last year after my Ex dumped me. Gave her three years of my life only for her to dump me for a cop-out reason. She gave me the whole, "Oh, I still want to be friends, but it's gonna be a while before I'm ready to talk again." I cancelled her check and removed her from my social media. I've finally understood that her and I as a couple was never in the cards. Whatever attraction she had for me has long since faded and I wasted so much time and energy pining after her because that's what guys are supposed to do in the movies. What a fool I've been.
If she comes back only after seeing that you're "doing well", reinforces the notion that women "wait at the finish line, and only choose the winner". If she bailed on you, while in your struggles...don't take her back. No matter how successful..or secure you become.
I've actually left a couple relationships that I regret to a degree, but at the time I had done so to figure things out on my part. Very happy I did; I ended up bottoming-out but then coming back up stronger and better than ever. I look back wondering if either of them would've stayed around for that. I call it my great reset. So short story, some people leave cause they know they cannot take anyone along with them where they're going.
Because they feel entitled to feeling your tingles, emotions and security you privided her, because her current chad pumped her and dumped her. That's why they so shamelessly return back to you. To re-experience the good times.
I love the way Courtney explains scenarios, situations and predicaments. Always with a level head. What a wonderful wholesome spirit. Never seeking vengeance or retribution. She masterfully puts things into perspective and suggests how to react and respond. Thank you Courtney.
Never under ANY circumstances take an ex back. They're your ex for a reason. Your sudden glow-up doesn't mean they've changed from the person they were.
What Courtney is trying to reveal to everybody is that hypergamy is a real thing and you really need to build your foundation and level up with the way you dress, the way you've behave and carry yourself, the way you manage your money as well as the way you earn it, and it also includes taking care of your body through stress reduction, a good and proper nutrition protocol as well as physical exercise
If you weren't her first choice then you never will be. Move on fellas. A woman definitely needs to have a genuine burning desire for you otherwise she will continuously look for better.
The trick to defeating hypergamy, is turn yourself into such a winner, that there are no better guys for her to trade you in for. Develop yourself in as many ways as you can, so that every other guy she might be interested in, is inferior to you. Another thing to understand, is that women who aren't damaged and insecure are the best women to date. The damaged and insecure ones tend to be delusional, narcissistic, and miserable, so they will always have the 'grass is greener on the other side' mentality, where they are constantly wondering if they can do better, because they don't appreciate what they already have. Learn to identify what kind of woman you are dealing with, it will make it easier to make wise decisions and avoid making life destroying mistakes.
When my ex left, I told her there was no coming back if she walked out the door. I am positive she regretted the decision to leave within weeks; but I had already moved on. When I said there was no coming back, I meant it. If after 18 years, I was unable to make her happy, I was done trying. I realized real fast that I was better off without her and if that feeling wasn't mutual, she would have to live with the consequences of her decision.
Trust me boys, when it's over, it's over. DON'T let her come back into your life UNLESS, you are 100% sure that what ended the relationship in the first place, can be FIXED! Or else you will just go "full circle". Coming in contact with an EX may spur back what originally attracted you to her, overlooking what broke up the relationship. That's you ANINAL attraction at work. Think McFly, THINK!
Hey Courtney, yes it happened to me. My gf at the time left me. I moved on and as soon as new lady in my life became public knowledge, the ex phoned me, begging me to leave the new girl and come back to her, offering me everything I desire. It is just weird how this work. After many chats and trying to remedy the relationship, she refused to come to the table with solutions, then all of a sudden she offer exactly all of that. I asked myself many times, can people simply look after their relationships while it is still going instead of breaking up, hurting people, then try to restore damaged pieces. Every point mentioned in your video I can confirm with first hand experience.
@@usman5140 No I have not, I walked away, I had the "what if" in my mind as I loved her so much but realized if I was as important to her like she was to me, she would not let me go in the first place and made effort to work on our relationship.
> look after their relationships while it is still going She did that 100%. And she decided that you were nobody to her and she deserved better. She didn't love you. The only reason she called you is because she though you loved her and would accept her return at any time. But turned out she couldn't get what she wanted else where and her backup plan, you, went away.
The women that suddenly find you attractive after they see you dating another woman is hilarious because they're basically televising the fact that they aren't attracted to you because you're you, but because someone else finds value in you. Also, the women that hit the wall and are nearing menopause but haven't settled down yet so they think you're a safety net to fall back on. By that point, they regret imposing unrealistic standards when screening for a partner and realize their options are dwindling because their biological clock has almost expired.
Once she reaches 30 on a subconscious level she knows her value is dropping by the day and she needs to lock a guy down. Cue the nice guy she rejected in her early 20’s.
You’re giving most women far, far too much credit here, especially in regards to the idea they come to realize they’ve had unrealistic expectations. Some uncommonly insightful women with the exceedingly rare ability to self-reflect may do so, but the vast, vast majority of them will instead increase their demands, usually with the help of friends/simps/orbiters eagerly pumping their heads full of delusional B S. There’s a reason why so many post 30/wall women decide it’s a great idea to turn off the tap and claims they’re saving themselves for their future husband all while expecting any many stupid enough to show interest to go to inane lengths to earn it. Even just over the last year or so I’ve gone out with about a dozen women 30-34 who immediately turned the date into an audition even though in every case she asked me out. Sorry, but the idea that if I support her four children y four different men, move them into my home, sell my car to buy a van while she keeps her car, get a second job so she can sit home and get fat, and all to maybe get what every other woman is passing around for free? How stupid can people be?
@@user-kcrpine I try to be so unattractive to the women now who I don't want who pursue me (either she's divorced with kids Or she can't have kids and has multiple tats), BUT the harder I try to be unattractive the More she sticks to me and is willing, I'm not even "on the ball," "on point," or caring about what I say what-so-ever she will not STOP. I know how to appear weak or "nice" cause I did the first 30 years of my life when I sought to please as mommy told me to to win a nice girl. Maybe I'm so selfish and non-caring for the past 10+ years that I can't act "nice" anymore (and make it be believable). It's sad. Why can't I get the single, decent-looking, can-have-kids, non-tatted, logical, within-my-RACE woman?
It all comes down to preselection. Women want men who are desired by other women. That’s why she shows interest as soon as she sees that you’re with someone else.
Thank you - Word for word she came back 1 year later and I took the time to massively improve myself and grow. I'd say control the controlables and always, ALWAYS invest in your growth. If people are not in the place in life they need to be in order to communicate and have a mature relationship, don't fix them. Cura Te Ipsum. Much Love - Marko
I'll be honest here; i love the fact that we agree on so many things you're saying because it makes me feel "mature enough" and know that i can see through things and understand what's good for me and what's not .. even when you talk about fashion i'm like "daaaamn, i do that all the time" :D thanx Courtney for the confidence boost :D
Reason they come back it's because they spent the time on thought and their emotions and have recalculated what they have done wrong so they come back with sympathy and hopefully the one that they're coming to recognizes the sympathy.❤
Yes, some people put in the effort to do work on themselves and do self reflection so the second time around is better. Sometimes it takes a break up to inspire growth
2nd, 3rd, or 4th choice. I used to crave just being chosen. The more I read relationship horror stories and tales of (divorce) court and separation nightmares the more I'm thinking I missed potential disaster by accident all for the sake of companionship and emotional intimacy.
They are an ex for a reason, I learned the hard way by letting someone back in time after time. When they are out they are OUT. Mean it. You'll get over them I promise.
If you're with her for 5 years and she breaks up and then wants to come back then definitely no. But I read this as being rejected early on and then she changes her mind. I think this is fairly common. Remember it takes men 8 seconds to fall in love and it takes women 15 days to fall in love so maybe she needs more time. So when we ask a girl out after 8 seconds she's probably not ready yet.
The best advice I can give to anyone at a time where we’re overstimulated and spoilt for choice thanks to social media and dating apps is to learn to ‘lower your gaze.’ Staring at other people you find attractive while with a partner will not allow you to appreciate what you have and will tempt you to end an otherwise healthy relationship. It’s a lesson I learned in Islam and is quite possibly the most profound lesson I’ve ever learned when it comes to human relationships.
@@OnderHassan what makes JPaul a bigot? I’d be willing to bet money he’d made the same comment if you’d said you were Christian, Hebrew, Mormon, etc. You Mohammedans are too touchy.
Onder Hassan - And if you indeed called the other guy a bigot, your own lack of respect is the problem, as is your apparent inability to properly define the terms you choose to use. A bigot is simply the intolerance of views or opinions different from our own, champ. Now who is the bigot again?
This an amazing video. My ex left me after 12 years on my birthday. It hurts and so recent but I’ve learn so much and open my eyes. Can’t wait for no one. Self love and force on yourself
If you get dumped, understand that relationship ended for a reason, and it should likely stay that way. Same goes when you're doing the dumping... there's no universal rule for this but VERY rarely does it work when exes get back together. And much more often it ends up being worse than the first time.
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of her. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
"they never wanted you when you was Nothing, always reject them when you become something" 💯
I mean isn't that kinda what you want. You improved yourself so now you are more desirable.
@@miniweeddeerz1820 Obviously
I think you are looking at things from an upside down position.
Neither of you is nothing.
You are both worthy of all the love and respect any other miracle is.
Your job, should you decide to accept it, is to find/be aware enough to recognize when someone is willing to start mirroring your own behaviors.
Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery.
Are you willing/able to reciprocate?
@@raularmas317 stop taking things seriously, its just a "saying"
The woman should want you for the person that you are. If you don’t have a lot of money and you’re working on a minimum wage job and she loves you still and stays with you through your journey, she’s a keeper. She should encourage you and you should encourage her. It’s about team work, working together and helping each other out
Stay in no contact and focus on you. The best way to respond to rejection is to walk away and mean it. That is how you keep your dignity.
Why do people always say to never be friends with the one who rejected you? I mean sometimes I do that but most of the times i don’t cause I hardly ever am ‘down bad’ for anyone, like if they reject me I’m moving on within the day. I don’t mind being friends unless it’s clear they’re still using it against me
@@milliesaysokboomer Because it’s better for your mental health if you didn’t want to get dumped and if you’re heart broken and send you through a hell of turmoil. And it also increases the likelihood of getting back together with an ex partner
coach corey wayne was here...
@@jackjacky8105 Hell yeah
@@TacticalNuke321 I would keep her as side chick
A girl once told me I was her "back-up" guy in case the relationship she was in didn't work out. I responded to her she better get a different "back-up guy". I don't play second string in relationships.
That's ridiculous! He audacity is sheer Insanity!
Tell her you rather watch dog poo harden than to be with her
Sounds like middle-school, high school stuff
that was very rude, I think that is one of the things, even if it's true, you should never tell.
Boom 💥
29 year old male here... I would NEVER accept a woman back into my life who broke up with me for 3 reasons...
1 - My feelings for her go away quickly after the breakup
2 - If she dumped me once, she'll probably do it again
3 - There are so many other girls out there to choose from
Yeah right.
If she was extremely hot and you couldn't do better you would beg her back
i doubt you get any action homie
Haha feelings only go away if you don't love them, and men have less options realistically that's why it's usually the girls do the dumping
@@domino6434he got 0 game bruh
Then those women who dumped you dodged a bullet. Thank God they realized how fickle you are.
Never accept a person who rejected you. Never attempt to go with a person you rejected. It is best for both of you.
Yeah ugly men don’t have the luxury of that option
@@boywonder2120 black pill the truth
Boy Wonder - B S you don’t. The world is literally packed with equally ugly women. Your problem is the fact that far too many like you are eager to be friendzoned, simp for, or orbit such women, freely giving them validation they do not deserve and have not earned. Many take it one step further and end up pumping so much B S into such chick’s heads they end up truly believing they’re top notch and deserve nothing short of their delusional version of Prince Charming. This is why 80%+ of average or under women today think 80%+ of men are below average.
Women are human just like you. The difference is they’re generally coddled from birth whereas we are not. Stop treating the fact they’ve a front hole as if it makes them all goddesses. There’s more of them than there are you…
I fully agree.
Why were you rejected? How old were you two?
They want your attention back but as soon as they get it they’ll ghost you and play games because they think they have you wrapped around their finger. Best thing you can do is completely ignore them.
Actually no blow up their phone and act deseprate, works 100% of the time they will get annyoed and in the long run they will never want to comeback to you. It never fails to do that, it pushes them away forever.
@@mortenlarsen7220 Power move right there.
@@aquarius9043 Yea it is and funny enough i learned acting that way pushed females away, so then i started to use it as a way to have my butt cleared forever so i would never have them comeback. And to this date it has worked FLAWLESSLY, perfect move to do to get rid of them for good once they start moving outside of the relationship.
Say 'I'm already someone else's baby'........
@@mortenlarsen7220 Reverse psychology. Must admit pretty creative.
Never give somebody a second opportunity to reject you again!
I fully agree. We all must have some dignity above all.
Exactly, no need to make a fool of yourself again
That’s me!
He break up with me I start cry etc come back come back and we come together, after half year he broke up once again…… f*ck, don’t make my mistake!!!
It's like taking the milk out of the fridge, smelling it "oh this has gone bad!" Then putting it right back in the fridge! Why?!
@@kala9912 have been there very recently :(
It’s simple: they thought they could do better in life without you, thought the grass was greener. Then realized they wanted you.
which is at times , pure human nature :D
@@rob-robi nah.... it's only folks who treat people like things rather than people that do stuff like this.
you over pursue instead of letting them come to you
Sixfeet, what are you talking about?
I would never accept that person back .. but that’s just me
I had 2 of my exes (one from 20 years ago and one from 8 years ago) try to get in touch with me
during the pandemic lockdowns. They made it seem at first like they were checking up on me to
see if I was ok... but eventually, their true motive came out and they asked to move into my place
to get back on their feet because they were still living paycheck to paycheck and their workplace
closed down.
I deleted / ghosted them both.
I paid off my mortgage in 2015 and it wasn't for women to invite themselves to move in and get
comfy. They weren't present during the majority of my struggle so they aren't invited to share in
my success.
The Covid lockdowns caused crazy people to come out of the woodwork because my older brother's girlfriend that he separated from 10 years before 2020 randomly called him a few months into the pandemic to move in our house. When my oldest sister heard of this scheme she gave my older brother a long lecture and told him that his ex-girlfriend is prohibited from coming near our house especially because she cheated on him and has kids with another dude. To this day my older brother has not spoken a thing about his ex haha.
Amen 🙏🏾Champ
Good for u
I hate when people try to crawl back into ur life for the mulah
I can help u
Well done.
you are doing well 0:38
couldn't find anything "better" 3:42
genuine time to grow 5:29
you're with someone new 7:14
second guessing and regret 9:39
F#ck. You’re with someone new happened to me,
You are doing well happened too.
Couldn’t find anything better… I have no idea
There are good reasons why they come back normally by the age of 25 women have had a high body count and quite a few threesomes and are now looking to settle down with someone more permanently however after being with you for about 18 months they get very bored and go back onto the market so the best time for a man to get a settled relationship is when she reaches 50 by this time she has had an army of relationships and they will be undesirable to men mainly but not always because they are probably fat and have lots of body hair because they no longer feel the need to shave their legs every day at this age
You can be 50% sure at this age they will be totally faithful which is reassuring
If you want total assurance go for a fifty year who does not shave her face regularly as this will not appeal to many men I hope that helps!
LEGEND!
None of these are acceptable reasons
@@pmoran7971 You're the real MVP
Once you reject me. It's OVER. I don't give second chances, so if you dump me well then you've made your choice, live with it. Never give second chances. If they do it once they WILL do it again. If they did not appreciate you the 1st time around, they will NOT appreciate you the second time around.
Top G
Yes, you are spot on.
Lol, not always true. Until you're together it's a game.
Provided : you have to be sure that have done your best to convince her at the first place...
I hate to admit it but its true. Ghosting is disrespectful. The kind of people that does this has no idea what it means to respect someone.
You deserve to be with someone who chose you first. Know your worth; you should never be someone else's backup plan.
Funny thing when you are single, finding a girlfriend is really difficult. But the moment you get a girlfriend that's when many other girls suddenly decide to give you the time of day.
Or you might never find one. 25% of all Americans are single and die single
@@disenthrallmentcomic4302 well yeah, that's the sad true.
@@bartunthegreat2999 Sadder things have happened.
Satan's distractions. Examine everyone.
@@bartunthegreat2999 what are you great at?
They come back just to see if they still "got you" in her circle. Once she realized you still want her, she ghosts again
Nah it’s a test and you probably failed.
Yeah pretty much works out like that.
This is true
If you get too thirsty again when she initiates contact, she will flake. You have to play it cool and let her do the chasing and initiating contact. When she does, set up a date, and then get off the phone until the date. When she was the one who left, you'll have to let her to all the pursuing when she initiate contact again.
@@Aelyf yes coach Corey Wayne 🙌🏽
It’s usually one of these:
1. They want to stroke their ego and see if they still “have you”
2. They want some quick validation and affection from you
3. They want to see how much you’ve moved on vs them
4. They need something emotionally from you
5. They’re guilty
6. The grass isn’t greener and they’re testing the waters
IT IS RARELY EVER THIS:
- They realize they made a mistake, have changed and grown, are more capable of loving you and giving you what you deserve and genuinely want to try again.
People… if anyone rejects you and breaks up with you. Never take them back. You’re literally just communicating that it’s okay and you’re inviting them to do it again. They have all the cards and control. They now know they can walk away, fuck around with other people, and you’ll just take them back. Even if they’re with you, they won’t fully respect you (consciously or subconsciously). People rarely change, especially if they weren’t good to you while they were with you. Once somebody pushes you away, that trust is gone forever and there will never be a fully healthy relationship with a solid foundation. They lost THEIR chance with you, why are you giving them another go around to break your heart again? Find someone who wouldn’t leave you in the first place and made more of an effort to try.
I disagree with you. People can change, I'm proof of that. Everybody's situation is different, so what didn't work for you, could work for me and visa versa.
On point💯
@@deadspazz you are rare😁👍🏻
Nah, just leave them be
You missed one. They're playing games.
Inconsistency is the biggest red flag for me, being in a relationship with someone like that just makes you miserable and there are people out there more deserving of your time.
Courtney always makes me feel better about the idea that there are better women out there for me.
There might be better women but they're not there for you though.
@@edheldude That is so rude.
@@kevinc1593 How so? It's true. They're there in the open marketplace. They're not there FOR YOU but for anyone. It's up to you to compete. And there are more takers than there are "better women".
@@edheldude Your original comment was a reply to Profuse-Penguin where to me you came across that he didn’t deserve someone. That is what I was calling rude.
With more context, yes there are a lot of taker than good women, but that can be said for men as well. We’ve been conditioned to have to play a “game” and that to me is where the problem steams from.
@@edheldude 😂😂😂
It's easy to take things for granted when you have them.
This is where the value of prayer comes in. Prayer is first and foremost giving thanks for what you currently have, not asking for more.
@@antonboludo8886 Spiritual work is priceless work, I couldn't agree more. Feel free to see my videos on the matter.
@@TheModernDating Thank you :D
@@antonboludo8886 no problems :)
So damn true
Hello everyone, I am a 78 years old man and let me give you a great piece of that will save all your precious time in life. The greatest life's advice in terms of relationships romantic or non romantic it doesn't matter. The advice is if someone is leaving or left and then plans to return then never ever and ever let them come back. 99% of the people return because of regret which is actually the idea of not having something, and only 1% of them return because of the realisation or epiphany. Please don't waste your time.
True wisdom from a person I'm sure whose life has had it's own share of misfires, and mistakes. Thanks for sharing - it can be tough to maintain resolve.
I believe this. He was alone or not finding what he wanted that worked out for him. Almost two years later of disregard and him blaming me for everything and he “hopes to see me soon” but with no sincere answer as to why other than, “why not”. A 45 yr old man with a childish answer deserves nothing of my time.
Question is why does he want to when I was the reason that either “ruined” everything I was to be the blame for EVERYTHING.
And it is because he is alone, and I just came back from an over seas business trip. Was living my life, having the best of time and experiences. All without him so now he wants to reconnect? Is why i asked why, and got a why not answer.
NOPE, I’m going to continue living my life without his misery, or being a subject matter of his choice for the moment.
He chose to end it, so it should’ve stopped right there with me being a choice. I’m not a toy
Respectfully, older age doesn’t necessarily mean the correct nor healthy knowledge or success in relationships. Depending on how and why a person chose to leave the relationship, where they abused, neglected, not valued or cheated on or did a difference in life’s aspirations or goals differ? Depending on age, sometimes a person may come back wiser. But it doesn’t mean you should jump right in head first. Take things slow and watch for what they do and not what they say if you’re considering to reunite.
@@thozacatz3684 Semantics - you're overthinking it. Toodles!
@@thozacatz3684 You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
If anyone wants to come back, they need to earn it and things need to move slowly. That's a great way to filter out the more negative intentions because you aren't fully giving yourself back to them, and if they grow frustrated by it and try to rush things along then they aren't committed to it and just wanted an easy escape from stress or so on.
If they genuinely care and want to work with you, they will do so.
Best answer I've read. Thank you for the time to write it.
Agreed. All these dudes talking about “never becomes someone back-up plan”. Like they already wasn’t a back-up plan. These women have a wide selection to choose from.
Completely agree on this one, I always give a second chance but not for free
The broken trust need time and right choices to be fully repaired
This response resonates deeply. If she wants back fr then she’ll invest herself into earning the opportunity for my consideration given the past proceedings.
That is huge time investment-I would not take them back. Better to find someone better.
Yes.. The fact that they can just leave you with no cares given to find someone else, fail, and just comeback, means they only care about what you provide, and not you. You're not a car to be test driven and then returned to the dealership.
The 'work on yourself' part is the most important portion of this video, in my opinion. A lot of people really need time to be 'single' and find joy from life that isn't filtered through attachment and codependency. If you aren't happy with your own company, then you'll never be a healthy contributor to a relationship.
100% this comment deserves way more likes. Most people these days are terrified of love an terrified of losing it. It is a tragedy. I married after being together then separating for several years. We had an incredibly profound relationship. Had a daughter. And we did break up again because he was so messy (he had grown immensely but not enough to wholly heal his soul) but stayed best friends until he passed away 15 years ago. We lived and loved so deeply and it was worth every second. I wouldnt change a thing. I have raised our daughter and she is an incredible young woman. She has asked me to write a book about my relationship with her father. Love deeply and know that it is beautiful to experience it all. Our life is incredible and short. Take it on full bore!
Work on yourself so you appear to be a good little pet wallet looking for a home. That's a trap...
You can work on yourself and meet people were all growing and building as we get older going to work and then coming home after gym and sitting there being "single" for this weird set amount of time till someone else's thinks it's now time to live your life and find a partner is silly.
Sure have hobbies, goals and dreams. But don't pause life to work on yourself life is short as hell and making a family or finding someone isn't going to happen by sitting at home after work and gym. And basically watching your life tick by. Doesn't mean you shouldn't be content being alone but it's human nature to connect and build with others. Most people who say this are the ones with a wife husband etc and have never really experienced the negative effects of prolonged exposure to being alone too much and almost sheltering themselves from living.
We have only one life don't be afraid fight for it and live it and not on some societal time clock.
Water yourself first so you can feed others
@@SouljaMan well I already do that I have a garden of 150 plants every year and I can LOL
If someone can't stand beside me during a struggle, they ain't gonna stand by me during success. Thus, I'm not an option, not an upgrade, not a downgrade, and not a consumable.
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
People are not always ready to be in relationships at the same time. Plenty of people can't make it work due t lack of maturity, work schedules, unhealed trauma, etc. Someone who admits that they are not in the right place or they are not in a place where they can return your feelings or effort are a blessing because they free you to find someone who is. No need to be bitter about it as long as they go about it in an upfront manner. Some people are in a building stage and when they are done sometimes feel more equipped later and come back if the feelings were real.
this described my ex
Never accept someone back into your life. Once it’s over, It’s over! Just move on.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Take her back but tell her your options are now also open to meeting someone else too. Make her know there is a price that she has to pay now and if she's not ok with that forget her.
@@thethoughtfulone4436 LOL. Quote from Obi Won Knobi.
@@rascal211 now all the females can take your advice. Lol
@@rascal211 or you just don’t respond. She aint going to accept her not being “the one”.
Remember, the best negotiating position is being able to walk away, never look back, and mean it.
Corey Wayne? Love that guy
They rarely come back because they see how good you are. Usually somebody dumped them and they want use you..
My husband left me for another woman 4 years ago. Everyone kept telling me he was going to come back, because we have 3 kids together and he was a good husband and father. I truly believed he was going to realize he made a mistake and he would come back home. He never did. He's happy with the woman he left me for, and they seem to have it all. It was hard for me because I was blindsided by it all. I'm doing a little better now, the kids are now teenagers and we're getting by. I have health issues and recently had major surgery, I spent 4 days in the hospital and he never checked up on me. It is what it is, I'm still trying my best to be happy, it's not easy but I'm slowly getting there.
I hope you are doing better. Focus on your kids and yourself. There's a good man out there for you. Try to heal yourself as best you can so when you meet this man you'll be the best version of yourself. As a single man, I've met many divorced women who haven't healed and it shows within a few dates if not sooner.
I'm soo sorry that happened to you.i hope you get blessed 10 fold of what the devil stole!!
this is so sad, I'm sorry and i hope you feel better
i genuinely hope you recover and get better we’re here for you you got our support!
keep yr focus on the kids
Wow Courtney, this video is one of *BEST* ones you've ever posted; it so happens that what you described is exactly what happened to me recently. She left me a month ago and now she wants to come back, because I played it cool and told her that I'll be fine no matter what she decides to do. Of course internally I've been bleeding and hurting, but did not let it show. And this is the only way, guys. If you go crawling to her on your knees, begging and clawing, she will despise you. Mom taught me well, and I listened, took her advice; and IT WORKS!
Great job brother...i hope it all works for you..im going through a break up after 23 years.. Sucks. But I'm holding strong.
💯Best video of her ever
You rock Courtney!
Being dumped sucks. They did you a favor 😉
Leave the past in the past, cry 😭 it off, and take care of yourself.
Here's a quote I've seen that is so true:
"Stop chasing the wrong one. The right one won't run."
They may run for a while actually….
"Stop chasing the wrong one. The right one won't run." I love that!
No such thing as the right person, no ones perfect and effort is needed on both sides unfortunately people don't want to put the effort in
no such thing as "the right one"
No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.
Be with someone that will work with you through the hard times, that's how you grow together stronger
If someone rejected you. They did so for a reason. That reason doesn’t change. And never settle for being someone’s second choice…that just means they are still looking for their first choice.
I once dated a very honest woman and she was good at answering these questions. I asked her why x GF's always try to come back once you've found somebody. Her response was simple and to the point. "Because a woman wants what another woman wants, and women are very competitive." Best answer I ever heard on that score.
My ex come back to me few days ago❤ I got help from a relationship Restorer Dr Ezekiel who was able to mend back my broken 💔 relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for second chance.He can bring your ex back..
Don't take her word for that. That'z not woman, that's insecure people with no real self love behavior. I do not care, and I have never went back to someone. I have asked one of my exes about how they are doing because I genuinely cared. Your ex was a low life, lets leave it at that.
@@surasmitameher You're right about one thing. My X was a low life, but the woman who told me that was not my X. She never played that game with me. She merely explained it to me.
@Man Cave A world full of people, with different perspectives. If I see my ex with someone else, no way in hell I am even talking to them. A human isn't a property. And that girl who said what ever she said, 2 of my exes have done the same. It's about people, different way of thinking, no way represents women in general.
@@surasmitameher I don't recall saying, at any point, that a human being was property. Don't put words into my mouth.
It's amazing. I have buddies ask me this all the time! My answer is always the same. #1 They cast the "fishing line" to see if you're still "on the hook" as a possible "option". #2 They simply just want attention to feel better about themselves. #3 They want to see what they can get out of you. #4 In RARE circumstances, depending on the health of the relationship and reasons for breaking up, they legitimately miss you and want to give it another shot. Why people can't understand these things is beyond me.
because it's hard to tell the difference between genuine and 1 2 and 3
Stay strong my guys!! If she can leave you at your worst or cheat on you when you feeling a little bit more emotional she will do it again when you got back on track with life and goals. Find yourself one who builds together and stays even on your bad days
I had a very very bad fight after 6 years of very close friendship. I went back to her within a week of fighting. Not because I didnt find anyone better (which is the truth, TBH) but because I knew she had been there for me when others werent. Because the fight / friendship break-up happened not because of cheating but because we had started viewing life and values differently.
But a lot of people put this same advice into her ear: never accept someone who returns.
So i believe, this advice should not be taken literally. It should be applied on a case to case basis.
Within a week isn't really what the subject is though. We're talking months or years later
Yes, these "rules" are more like warnings. There can be a good reason to reconcile.
Worst mistake I made in my life was accepting the advances of a girl who rejected me before. Never do it. They will treat you with disdain, even if they cover it up well at first. The truth eventually comes out, "you are lucky just to even have me with you," type statements.
Yea that's what imma do. I had a girl I knew that I sent her flowers n stuff and would of called off the wedding if she wanted to be with me. So she said I'm a good friend and don't wanna be in a relationship. And gave my flowers to her co worker. So I moved on got myself to stop liking her. So that happened 2years ago. So today she had a pop-up business with vendors there and she wanted me to come. So I went to support it was her and 3 other ladies that was vendors there. And she was saying how there's no nice guys anymore and no one brings females flowers no more. I didn't react I paid for my shit n left. She tried to follow me out but I told her to have a good weekend. I had to find this video from Courtney
Yeah my ex literally started stalking me cause she dumped me and after 3 weeks started texting me "I miss you and you were honestly the best thing in my life. Just wanted you to know that." She showed up at my house when I wasn't home, then she showed up at my work cause she thought I was dead or something. Then she saw me at a restaurant and had her friend come up to me and said "you're an evil person for ignoring her!". But she was the one who dumped me! This was the same girl who absolutely despised me by the time we broke up, and just by kind of disappearing for whatever reason she couldn't handle it.
lmaooo, the usual concept of being portrayed as the perpetrator when you know your worth.
That sucks. But part of being a man is having the ability to be blamed over something you didn’t do and still move forward. You’re solid brother keep your head up
Walk way and never look back
Fr that's some BS same thing happened to me.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one mate. I had an ex years ago who dumped me, and ignored me every time she saw me. That is, up until she saw me with a new girlfriend (who was hotter than her). She came over and sat with my friends (who were also friends with her), and was all friendly and nice, pretending that every time she had ignored me over the previous months never happened etc.
In reality, her ego had taken a hit because she liked the idea of me pining over her, and when she realised I was over her and with someone else (someone hotter), she needed my validation. I knew what she was doing of course, so I had a bit of fun at her expense, just to fuck with her ego a bit more. Saying that, I was in my early 20s at the time, so I wasn't really that mature, so getting revenge was enjoyable.
Thank you, Courtney. This honesty is very refreshing. I've also noticed that if the one broken up with is suddenly doing very well, the one that initiated the breakup was most likely the cause of most, if not all, of the relationship problems. It happens with narcissists and self-centered people because the person could be a victim of gas lighting and once they're not beaten down anymore emotionally, all of the sudden they bloom again once free.
She didn’t want me in her prime, I don’t want her in her decline
Good one!
Plain and simple
Bars
Well stated ✌️
Fire 🎉 good one
Another point is, they always come back but never according to your timing.
Sometimes the universe brings them back to see if you learned your lessons...
The only point of a bad breakup is to ask yourself: what have I learned from this experience so I don't have to repeat the same stuff over and over again.
I always despised it when women try to get after you once they see that you're taken, they should never be given a second chance. If you become rich and successful, go after a woman that's on your league, or stay with the one that's been with you since you were nothing
You just explained my ex in 12 minutes. This so called toxic mind game people play in a relationship is honestly overwhelming for me. I'm so tired of these rules. I just wanted to be pure with my feelings and emotions. But now despite my so much effort left me in misery. I'm trying to be patient and trying to realize this world is not meant to be perfect. I'm struggling but I hope someday I'll be happy.
alot of people are superficial unfortunately, had the same happen to me in the past.
Same I hope karma gets her
Don't ever take someone back that left you,, love yourself enough not to
She rejected me, and when she came back, I made her taste her own medicine, and I'm so happy seeing her crying,
😂😭🤣
I think it can be tricky sometimes, personally i've fell into the grass is greener trap and lost a partner due to it. Afterwards I realised what I had lost with her and that i was being shallow, but also human and it's something I need to work on, but when I wanted her back I wanted her back for the right reasons, realising my mistakes etc rather than settling for her.
“I know that sounds messed up, because, quite frankly, it is.” Gold. Thanks again for the honest commentary.
Thanks for sharing this 🙌🏼 appreciate it
@Evidence-Based Health UK get a grip you have no idea what our situation was pal
@Evidence-Based Health UK and that means I treated her like garbage? Absolutely not, it means I’m man enough to admit my flaws and realise my own internal issues that led me to feel unsatisfied. Are you perfect?
Same story here. I wrote her a message (and apologised) but I don't think I'll have an answer.
This has happened to me many times. Attractive young women have the illusion of unlimited options so they are reticent to commit to a guy actually in her 'commitment league' and not just interested in sex. Courtney says that maybe they see you are doing well after they dumped you and that turns them on or whatever --- ok but where were they when you were struggling? Are they going to abandon you again during hard times? That needs to be handled. This is why I don't watch a lot of women channels b/c they won't go there --- don't leave a guy when things get hard if you want an actual relationship with a man who actually cares about you.
@@TruthTV8556 Nah this absolves them of accountability. We used to shame divorce, and that is the way we need to go for this to stop. It's anarchy otherwise, opportunistic nihilism. If they can't be accountable for themselves then its high time we hold them accountable.
@@577jrock smart man
This…
I honestly was in hard depression in my relationship. When I met her I did just fine, but I chose some ways in my career which made me think I dont have any more good perspectives. So I slowly got into depression and she broke up with me now a month ago.
Looking at the situation and trying to be rational I cant blame her at all. I didnt love my self, I even hated myself honestly. The only thing I thought that went good in my life was her. Thats just not a base for a relationship to work out. I always thought when she breaks up, that my life is over - I am done!
But the opposite happened. I cried when she broke up and those thoughts where in my head. Sadly, I wish i could ve had reacted better and make it easier for her and also for me.
Anyway the next day I woke up, but I didnt just wake up from bed but I literally woke up. I went to the gym, started a diet, made a pro and con list for all my future perspectives and just started to go my way.
In just 1 month, I lost weight, and do look a bit better (ofc U cant turn worlds in 1 month, but I found my way and I will be in shape in some months, - even if it takes a year or more I ll go that way. - I even went to a box training LOL and it was super rough but also super fun) - I found a job which I will start next month which is super good paid and... Idk my whole life changed and I can swear, that this is all she ever wanted from me. Nothing more, nothing less.
I dont see her, I dont text her, nothing. I dont know what she is doing. Sometimes I do wonder. Sometimes I also do wonder if we ever broke up if I was a better version of my own.
Anyway that girl saved me from my depression back then and Idk if i d be here without her. If she ll ever see me again, I can only look her into the eyes, If I m consitently on my way to become the best version I can be. And yea. Maybe. Maybe there ll be a chance that we come back together. Maybe not. Maybe She ll find someone else, maybe I will find someone else, but I would be foolish to say, that I should never take someone back who "dumped" me. Honestly, if I was her, I d be gone 1 Year earlier probably. But she always believed in me.
Well atleast until she broke up, but If i m honest to myself, if she didnt break up, i wouldnt have changed anything. The Sad truth
@@HojaFPSI don't quite understand that. If you were OK when you met her andbadly iff later, didn't she contribute to your bad decisions? She never advised you into better decisions it seems.
The never being satisfied in a relationship , and always looking for a better option is the truest true ever
I appreciate the down-to-Earth and balanced takes from women that we get from channels like this one. As a guy we normally just get the male perspectives on this type of stuff, so it's good to have some balance.
The female advice is worthless dude. If you follow it you will become a simp.
@@markquinn1216 facts you don’t ask the fish how to catch a fish you ask the fishermen
@@tycoon650 yes but we're not fishes, we're humans
@@markquinn1216 yet you're here watching her, if you have nothing good to add, don't bother. Go and be envious elsewhere. Seriously, a person just shares his thoughts and compliments on the work of a person does and you go insane. What a mediocre way of living
@@marte1376 Don't get all emotional lady.
If someone disrespected you and didn't care about you after you showed them how much you love them. Then just delete them and block them. Cut all ties. It's much better for your mental health.
Disrespecting a partner who has shown genuine love and support for you is a reflection of how you treat or feel about yourself. People who respect themselves respect others. That means communicating effectively and sticking with their decisions.
@Psychology299 your channel is hilarious.
Thanks for the feedback LMAO@@shoelacedonkey
If you like someone and they like you back then be with them. Do not overthink or over analyze and best to not play stupid games. Life is short so be with someone who appreciates you. I think people have too much information overload. No one is perfect and most of us are not even close to being perfect. This girl is not a mature human being, don’t play stupid games, each case is different, may be they came back to you because they realized you were indeed the best person they have ever dated, be appreciative of that, especially if you still like the person.
Happened to me as well Courtney. For 3 years I've been trying to attract the girl I liked but she ultimately rejected me. The next year, I have taken care of myself like my body, diet, grades and suddenly she came back. I directly said NO not interested 😂
You can't negotiate desire you don't try for that long. Time is much better spent building yourself up.
Hope you'll never waste ur time like that ever again. Focus on TMH ,ur health n finance. Everything else will come in due time.
Her loss youre win good job stay trong stay safe 👍👏
3yrs? This is the wildest girl chase I've heard since I knew women have pussy ... Bruv don't ever go down that road again 3yrs is a long fuccing time mate , she's not the only woman in the world , there's lots of them better than her and willing ..... I personally within the first week of talking and flirting and isn't looking promising , I'm gone, disappear in thin air and she'll never hear a word from me again
This made me smile good for you!
I can’t believe anyone would reject you, just your beautiful voice is reason enough to spend a lifetime with you!
Ok voice. But pretty face and smart intellect
They come back when things don’t work out with the person they left you for. Simple. And they will leave again just the second they find another person that they think is “better”.
What if you reject them will they come back to you?
Never tell people to settle down for less, because that's where stopping starts! Absolutely nothing wrong with not being happy with what you have and keep on looking. If i didn't got out from toxic/abusive relationship I was in, I would hanged my self long time go. If your body/mind/soul tells you to move on on daily basis its probably a good indicator that something is definitely wrong. Also, only YOU can judge how good is your partner for you! Dont listen to anyone, because you are the one who will have to deal with that person for the rest of your life. Be yourself, listen to your self, act on your own behalf.
Cheers!
They want you and get you when you’re at the top and then berate you and leave when you’re at the bottom.
Now, I want to find someone who is happy with who I am at the bottom.
Things will get better for me regardless of my relationship status and only someone who accepts and wants me at my worse will be there for me if I ever go through trying times, again.
Hard to find, but worth it
I think most people want that, but I can't speak for everyone.
Yes. I've experience the woman coming back when you find someone else a couple of times. I had a girl I was really interested in that put me in the "friend zone" all of a sudden become very interested when I got a girlfriend. I also had an ex who started contacting me after we hadn't really spoken to each other in about three years, when she found out I was engaged. SMH.
We call this tale “Damn he got away”
Thanks for sharing your experience. Could you elaborate what u meant by coming back.
Is it coming back to wish u the best & having casual friendly conversations OR is it coming back to getting back together as partners ?
Could you say what signalled the intentions?
@@karatsurba4791 The first young lady I mentioned called a couple of times and during one of our conversations basically told me that I didn't pursue her hard enough when I was interested in her which is why we aren't together. Trust me she knew how I felt when I was interested. It took a lot of self control not to cuss her out and hang up on her.
The second young lady called me multiple times before I got married and asked if I was sure if it was what I wanted. This a person who previously had decided three years earlier that she didn't want to date anymore and basically wanted to see what else was out there. We literally had not spoken since. Then out of the blue she started calling me right after I had become engaged. She even called again after I got married. Needless to say Wifey was very pissed when that happened.
@@moetube74 Yeah you were just an option to the both of them and they wanted to mess around and not have to commit to anything serious till it was finally time. Meanwhile you found a woman that understands you have to be willing to commit sooner rather than later for it to go the distance and have something REAL. Good for you.
Thank you for sharing this!
I've learned that you should never give someone like this the benefit of the doubt. They will act like "the prize" the entire time instead of being happy that you gave them a second chance. They will eventually reject you again (usually after using you for whatever pathetic validation they need at the time). Know your value and don't settle.
You are right Heather!!
This is such a great video , Courtney!
This is why is so important for men to have a strong frame from the very beginning. Setting clear boundaries and expectations is crucial to minimizing these silly games. If she notices a man's lack of options of weaknesses, she will come back everytime things don't go her way.
Let her know that you have your own life and dont need a woman to be happy, and if she decides to leave you just open the door for her.
If a man doesn't respect himself, nobody will.
I had one come back and talk to me after initially rejecting me. We were at a party and she saw me talking to another girl and to quote her, “she got extremely jealous”. An important note though is that she told me that she didn’t have feelings for me, I said okay and bye. 2 weeks later I got the I miss you text and can we talk text. We talked, she said she had feelings. It was by far the most turbulent emotional period in my life. We’re not dating btw, I was still the second choice after all that
Get rid of your boat and she will go for the next fisherman___patrice O neal .
Rejecting a girl that rejected you first first is the best win. NEVER LET A FEMALE GET A SECOND CHANCE. your worth more
It's not that she really wants you back. She just can not stand the fact, that you have moved on, without making any fuss. In the past, my ex girlfriend broke it up. Being me, I just walked away, wishing her the best, showing no emotions, remaining very calm. 2 days later she called me crying and that we needed to talk and that I never must have loved her, because otherwise I would not have left her that easy. At that time, I did not understand her at all. After all she ended it. Never take her back. Never.
I went back for the kids. I didn't want our kids to grow up in a single household. And then that didn't work. The kids actually told me its better when I don't live with their mom. Stay strong all part time dads.
My parents got split up when I was really young. NEVER stay together JUST because you have kids, its not healthy for anybody.
Excellent video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my marriage of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her/him?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@@deboralaw-on9od
It will end in tears because it no longer natural
1. They're back up plan didn't work out as they hoped
2. You're with someone new or you moved on with your life and they sense it
3. They want to play games with you again
4. They want to keep tabs on you
5. Lastly they regret what they did to you and realized what they lost.
If you want to get revenge on them the best revenge is living your life the best way possible and never looking back! No it's not getting a new guy and showing him off because that is straight up a rebound and that shows that you have not moved on. It also means YOU have work to do on your part! When you have completely moved on from the ex, then date someone new.
All of the above for me. I kind of rejected her when she tried to get back with me and a few weeks later she was with another guy she'd been seeing for a while. Glad I dodged a bullet
My parents dated in HS, this was the 1950's and my dad graduated and went into the Army. They broke up shortly before he went into the Army. I think they just realized that they were young and it was High School and he was going to be away, perhaps for years. Mom ran into my dad five years after they broke up but that was all it took. Both had experienced a lot of personal growth between the ages of 17 and 22. My dad came back after his service and was dating someone else, my mom was engaged to someone at the time She admits that he was always her first love and when she saw him again all those feelings came flooding back. I guess for him too because he broke it off with his girlfriend and my mom broke her engagement too. Was she looking for a better deal? Perhaps but truth be told the heart wants what the heart wants and they didn't have two nickels to rub together when they got married. They started life practically from zero and built one together. The guy my mom was engaged to came from a family that had money so it wasn't hypergamy that drove mom's decision I would have to say it was love pure and simple. In the end, they were married for almost 50 years. That was a different era I guess. The only situation I would think is viable to take someone back is through personal growth. Once you are past High School or College and you are an adult there is no circumstance I would take back anyone that rejected me. An old HS or College girlfriend may be the only exception if the reasons for parting were by mutual agreement that the timing was not right. It sounds harsh but I would never allow anyone that cheated or monkey branched on me back into my life no matter how sorry they claimed to be.
Dawg I think you're talking about The Notebook right now.
Isn’t that called “pair bonding”?
What a beautiful love story! 😍👏
Her body count was Lilly 1 or 2 so she had the capacity to bond already pair bonded to your dad
Seriously, I've had a lotta ladies come back to me in my past relationships after I kicked them out or they broke up with me. It's good to have more insight on why these have happened and how best to handle it.
Thanks, girl.
Chilbuzo Nwankwo - It adds "insult to injury", when a woman stays with a guy, just to fill a void temporarily, just to leave once again.... I've never allowed an ex back into my life. Once they're an ex, you knew why it didn't work out in the first place.
Another important factor here, is to not allow diseases to enter your life people! Remember.... The more partners involved.... The more likely you can contract an STD that can even kill you! A family friend had this happen, and he died from contracting HPV virus, by having sex with a promiscuous, loose woman, who had HPV!
It's scary to see this virus spread rapidly throughout a person!! Trust me! You definitely do not want that!! 😱😨🤯
That advice (Focus on yourself and Achieve your OWN goals and let HER see that). Is the BEST advice that I've gotten, since being Single again. I broke up with my Ex this past December, so at the moment. I just want to be alone and focus on what I want to accomplish for MYSELF. I'll focus on finding somebody else, afterwards.
I'm very firm in my belief that once a relationship ends it should stay that way. It ended for a reason and taking an ex back is like trying to put poop back in your body after expelling it. Both times someone returned to me it was only when they realized I was in a new relationship.
I wish I hadn't read that.
Thats a HORRIBLE analogy. 😆 😆 wtf... 😆 😆 😆
@@robogreek3157 eugghghhhh right
I love that analogy 😂
Great analogy man! Poop comes out let it out! I like that.
It's hard to decline an ex because you once loved her but in most cases I'd say stay strong and don't accept her again. She left you very likely in a time where you showed weaknesses or had a bad time in general and she will do it again if that happens again. Life isn't always going up and a good woman for your future is one who is supporting and staying with you in your downs.
Are you out of your mind, finding a woman like that is basically impossible becase they have all been taken by either a top class pick up artist, the dominant abusive alpha male, a prisoner or a rich and powerful man, finding ANY women is insianly difficult, finding a good women, ZERO % chance !
I was with my ex for 3 years and she recently broke up with me. I had an anxiety episode that lasted for 3 months after I tried to get off my meds. She never looked at me the same way after that despite her being in the same situation when weI 1st got together, except hers issues lasted well over a year. I showed weakness and it killed the attraction.
Got divorced in 2009 and my ex-wife in Feb of 2010 called me crying about how we moved too quickly and wanted to get back together. I told her we could be friends and she lost her shit. My buddy who is a professional tinder dater laughed his ass off at my response. Never heard a guy pull the "we can be friends" on a woman.
@@Tyler-qw8kn Thats not weakness, thats not being fair. This whole can’t show weakness is setting everyone up for failure. Sometimes the breakup comes up out of nowhere and you try to process it and it spirals out of control. It isn’t fair for her to treat you like that AT ALL. I was in a situation like that recently and it broke me. I couldn’t walk for several months and resorted to cutting. She thought the cutting was to get her back (I said please don’t let this change your decision but I do want you). Turns out she never had any intention of getting back with me even before the cutting and she had alot of problems she never told me about and it was unfair for her to gaslight me like that. Tbh I am still not sure if I could say no if she came back. Partly because I know it was her friends whispering in her ear.
@@ElementalismGood one. The guy on Ronin Man channel says friendzone all western women and he's correct. 😂
Honestly I can't imagine any circumstance where it would be wise even to be friends with her. Keep at arm's length. 10 foot pole. 100 foot pole. 1,000,000 foot pole preferably.
Maybe you could lurk way out on the periphery of her social circle to ensure she's not up to any shit.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Stop this spam!
Older guy here (53). I've been enjoying your videos. I particularly like how you don't take a his/hers side, but call it like it is. I'm more inclined to believe videos like this over one-sided videos. Great job! Keep it up.
I was with a woman that cheated on me repeatedly. I was clearly her second choice but didn’t realize it at the time. I wish I had. She only wanted to be with me when the guy she really wanted didn’t want her. Thanks for the advice and perspective on this issue. It helps!
And i hear people say tate is misogynistic while such tangible shit happens because some self entitled h** does it
That happens then when you try to move on they regret they cant have you. They cannot love unconditional. If she couldn't see it or wasted time move on. Women will secretly spend decades with your enemies like 'liking' you is a prize while they ingest your enemies nut.
I have had people come back after treating like a second class citizen. Let being indifferent. But one thing I’ve noticed is even when I take them back, I don’t feel anything for them anymore nor do we even talk as before. Perfect strangers pretty much.
36 year old guy here, and I just want to say Courtney that I wish I had found your channel last year after my Ex dumped me. Gave her three years of my life only for her to dump me for a cop-out reason. She gave me the whole, "Oh, I still want to be friends, but it's gonna be a while before I'm ready to talk again." I cancelled her check and removed her from my social media. I've finally understood that her and I as a couple was never in the cards. Whatever attraction she had for me has long since faded and I wasted so much time and energy pining after her because that's what guys are supposed to do in the movies.
What a fool I've been.
did she ever reach out to you ? i am kinda in the same boat
@@FIREdMoN-dx4kt Been over a year and nothing, I've started dating again and haven't reached out or anything.
@@FIREdMoN-dx4kt Nah, and to be honest I don't care anymore if she does or doesn't reach out.
None of the women that rejected me came back to me however that’s something I could live with.
If she comes back only after seeing that you're "doing well", reinforces the notion that women "wait at the finish line, and only choose the winner". If she bailed on you, while in your struggles...don't take her back. No matter how successful..or secure you become.
Facts,strongest relationships are those where they got together when they were poor and built together a better life for themselves
I've actually left a couple relationships that I regret to a degree, but at the time I had done so to figure things out on my part. Very happy I did; I ended up bottoming-out but then coming back up stronger and better than ever. I look back wondering if either of them would've stayed around for that. I call it my great reset. So short story, some people leave cause they know they cannot take anyone along with them where they're going.
Because they feel entitled to feeling your tingles, emotions and security you privided her, because her current chad pumped her and dumped her. That's why they so shamelessly return back to you. To re-experience the good times.
@@wilted_rose510 That's real , true keeper in that situation.
How about you don’t start something goh can’t finish to avoid toying with people’s emotions ?
*It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.*
I love the way Courtney explains scenarios, situations and predicaments. Always with a level head. What a wonderful wholesome spirit. Never seeking vengeance or retribution. She masterfully puts things into perspective and suggests how to react and respond.
Thank you Courtney.
Thank you 🥺
@@CourtneyRyan Hi what does it mean if a girl unfollowers you. But does not block you messages on instagram.
Never under ANY circumstances take an ex back. They're your ex for a reason. Your sudden glow-up doesn't mean they've changed from the person they were.
What Courtney is trying to reveal to everybody is that hypergamy is a real thing and you really need to build your foundation and level up with the way you dress, the way you've behave and carry yourself, the way you manage your money as well as the way you earn it, and it also includes taking care of your body through stress reduction, a good and proper nutrition protocol as well as physical exercise
If you weren't her first choice then you never will be. Move on fellas. A woman definitely needs to have a genuine burning desire for you otherwise she will continuously look for better.
The trick to defeating hypergamy, is turn yourself into such a winner, that there are no better guys for her to trade you in for. Develop yourself in as many ways as you can, so that every other guy she might be interested in, is inferior to you.
Another thing to understand, is that women who aren't damaged and insecure are the best women to date. The damaged and insecure ones tend to be delusional, narcissistic, and miserable, so they will always have the 'grass is greener on the other side' mentality, where they are constantly wondering if they can do better, because they don't appreciate what they already have.
Learn to identify what kind of woman you are dealing with, it will make it easier to make wise decisions and avoid making life destroying mistakes.
@@zalamael you sure have some wisdom, keep chasing the grind!
@@LatimusChadimus 100%
@@zalamael solid advice
When my ex left, I told her there was no coming back if she walked out the door.
I am positive she regretted the decision to leave within weeks; but I had already moved on. When I said there was no coming back, I meant it.
If after 18 years, I was unable to make her happy, I was done trying. I realized real fast that I was better off without her and if that feeling wasn't mutual, she would have to live with the consequences of her decision.
Trust me boys, when it's over, it's over. DON'T let her come back into your life UNLESS, you are 100% sure that what ended the relationship in the first place, can be FIXED! Or else you will just go "full circle". Coming in contact with an EX may spur back what originally attracted you to her, overlooking what broke up the relationship. That's you ANINAL attraction at work. Think McFly, THINK!
Your shoe is untied..
Hey Courtney, yes it happened to me. My gf at the time left me. I moved on and as soon as new lady in my life became public knowledge, the ex phoned me, begging me to leave the new girl and come back to her, offering me everything I desire. It is just weird how this work. After many chats and trying to remedy the relationship, she refused to come to the table with solutions, then all of a sudden she offer exactly all of that. I asked myself many times, can people simply look after their relationships while it is still going instead of breaking up, hurting people, then try to restore damaged pieces. Every point mentioned in your video I can confirm with first hand experience.
Please tell me you didn’t let her back in
@@usman5140 No I have not, I walked away, I had the "what if" in my mind as I loved her so much but realized if I was as important to her like she was to me, she would not let me go in the first place and made effort to work on our relationship.
> look after their relationships while it is still going
She did that 100%. And she decided that you were nobody to her and she deserved better. She didn't love you.
The only reason she called you is because she though you loved her and would accept her return at any time. But turned out she couldn't get what she wanted else where and her backup plan, you, went away.
@@MetalHead7 I
Hypergamy clogs a ladies mind. Never ever go back to an ex. They’re an ex for a reason
The women that suddenly find you attractive after they see you dating another woman is hilarious because they're basically televising the fact that they aren't attracted to you because you're you, but because someone else finds value in you. Also, the women that hit the wall and are nearing menopause but haven't settled down yet so they think you're a safety net to fall back on. By that point, they regret imposing unrealistic standards when screening for a partner and realize their options are dwindling because their biological clock has almost expired.
Once she reaches 30 on a subconscious level she knows her value is dropping by the day and she needs to lock a guy down. Cue the nice guy she rejected in her early 20’s.
You’re giving most women far, far too much credit here, especially in regards to the idea they come to realize they’ve had unrealistic expectations. Some uncommonly insightful women with the exceedingly rare ability to self-reflect may do so, but the vast, vast majority of them will instead increase their demands, usually with the help of friends/simps/orbiters eagerly pumping their heads full of delusional B S. There’s a reason why so many post 30/wall women decide it’s a great idea to turn off the tap and claims they’re saving themselves for their future husband all while expecting any many stupid enough to show interest to go to inane lengths to earn it. Even just over the last year or so I’ve gone out with about a dozen women 30-34 who immediately turned the date into an audition even though in every case she asked me out. Sorry, but the idea that if I support her four children y four different men, move them into my home, sell my car to buy a van while she keeps her car, get a second job so she can sit home and get fat, and all to maybe get what every other woman is passing around for free? How stupid can people be?
@@user-kcrpine I try to be so unattractive to the women now who I don't want who pursue me (either she's divorced with kids Or she can't have kids and has multiple tats), BUT the harder I try to be unattractive the More she sticks to me and is willing, I'm not even "on the ball," "on point," or caring about what I say what-so-ever she will not STOP. I know how to appear weak or "nice" cause I did the first 30 years of my life when I sought to please as mommy told me to to win a nice girl. Maybe I'm so selfish and non-caring for the past 10+ years that I can't act "nice" anymore (and make it be believable). It's sad. Why can't I get the single, decent-looking, can-have-kids, non-tatted, logical, within-my-RACE woman?
It all comes down to preselection. Women want men who are desired by other women. That’s why she shows interest as soon as she sees that you’re with someone else.
@@user-kcrpine it's so stupid that you measure a female's value on her age
Once the man/women leave the relationship, never reconnect with this person. You are playing with fire!
Thank you - Word for word she came back 1 year later and I took the time to massively improve myself and grow. I'd say control the controlables and always, ALWAYS invest in your growth. If people are not in the place in life they need to be in order to communicate and have a mature relationship, don't fix them. Cura Te Ipsum. Much Love - Marko
Courtney Ryan, the sister all men here deserve and need!
Thank you for your insight, sis!
I'll be honest here; i love the fact that we agree on so many things you're saying because it makes me feel "mature enough" and know that i can see through things and understand what's good for me and what's not .. even when you talk about fashion i'm like "daaaamn, i do that all the time" :D
thanx Courtney for the confidence boost :D
😂🥰 I love it!
Reason they come back it's because they spent the time on thought and their emotions and have recalculated what they have done wrong so they come back with sympathy and hopefully the one that they're coming to recognizes the sympathy.❤
Thank you. This is true
This is very nicely written; I like that you recognize that growth is possible so that you can enjoy one another's presence.
Yes, some people put in the effort to do work on themselves and do self reflection so the second time around is better. Sometimes it takes a break up to inspire growth
Unfortunate, but true
Doesn't matter why they want to come back. They won't be welcome. There are no second chances.
2nd, 3rd, or 4th choice. I used to crave just being chosen.
The more I read relationship horror stories and tales of (divorce) court and separation nightmares the more I'm thinking I missed potential disaster by accident all for the sake of companionship and emotional intimacy.
They are an ex for a reason, I learned the hard way by letting someone back in time after time. When they are out they are OUT. Mean it. You'll get over them I promise.
If you're with her for 5 years and she breaks up and then wants to come back then definitely no. But I read this as being rejected early on and then she changes her mind. I think this is fairly common. Remember it takes men 8 seconds to fall in love and it takes women 15 days to fall in love so maybe she needs more time. So when we ask a girl out after 8 seconds she's probably not ready yet.
The best advice I can give to anyone at a time where we’re overstimulated and spoilt for choice thanks to social media and dating apps is to learn to ‘lower your gaze.’
Staring at other people you find attractive while with a partner will not allow you to appreciate what you have and will tempt you to end an otherwise healthy relationship.
It’s a lesson I learned in Islam and is quite possibly the most profound lesson I’ve ever learned when it comes to human relationships.
Religious hornDog control🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Smart man
@@OnderHassan what makes JPaul a bigot? I’d be willing to bet money he’d made the same comment if you’d said you were Christian, Hebrew, Mormon, etc. You Mohammedans are too touchy.
That's beta male behavior
Onder Hassan - And if you indeed called the other guy a bigot, your own lack of respect is the problem, as is your apparent inability to properly define the terms you choose to use. A bigot is simply the intolerance of views or opinions different from our own, champ.
Now who is the bigot again?
This an amazing video. My ex left me after 12 years on my birthday. It hurts and so recent but I’ve learn so much and open my eyes. Can’t wait for no one. Self love and force on yourself
If you get dumped, understand that relationship ended for a reason, and it should likely stay that way. Same goes when you're doing the dumping... there's no universal rule for this but VERY rarely does it work when exes get back together. And much more often it ends up being worse than the first time.
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of her. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Never chase attention, affection or love. If it's not given freely, it's not worth having.