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@MamaDoctorJones Why are condoms on that visual chart in the same category as "pulling out"? In pearl index is has 0,4 to 12, so only 7% of getting pregnant by right usage, and protect before se*ual diseases. Why there are these differences between USA and Europe in usage and information about condoms? In my feeling in USA is way less consciousness about se*ual diseases and the need of using regular condoms than in Europe. It seems to be all about birth control but nothing for other "dangers". Here in Germany for example every time it come to discussion it says use condoms to protect yourself, combine it with other STI protection or use it single but USE IT if your not in a long monogamous relationship. I am shocked because of the chart and need more background.
I'm guessing the last one's logic was: SPOILERS BELOW Sucking out snake venom. I'm not anything medical, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work for that either.
Like how you explained the ovulation "without a period" thing. I hadn't had a period in several months (always had issues off and on when not on the pill) so I was dumb and thought I couldn't get pregnant. Then, next thing I know I was having morning sickness and tested positive. Turns out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Turns out I did eventually ovulate after months and just didn't turn into a period because it turned into a pregnancy instead. Thankfully all turned out very well
I always hate the question of "Is there any chance you could be pregnant" and I always say, "Yes" because I have sex with my husband who produces sperm. The staff usually act surprised like I'm saying I'm having unprotected sex... but I'm having sex while on birth control which isn't 100% effective so, yes, there's always a chance I could be pregnant. I'm fine with them running tests just to confirm I'm not before any procedure or whatever- totally fine- but don't get a surprised face when someone tells you "yes" because honestly, more people should be saying yes to you than not
Exactly! I had a similar experience when my answer had been, "probably not because the pregnancy test was negative 2 weeks ago" - I wore extra stuff for the x ray, and I had not been pregnant
To be fair that's what my husband and I have used for 19 years and only got pregnant when we were trying because my periods are super regular and we use protection in the "fertile window".
Pull out method worked for me until i actually wanted a child my periods change by 2-3 days each month if they dont pull out before pre cum then pull out wont work at all really
Lol, my parents too. Though they called it the rhythm method but when I confirmed they meant pull out. And well, jokes on me, since my partner and I started using both when my birth control pills started making me sick, 9 months off the pill and I'm pregnant. What do you call a couple who uses the rhythm/pullout method? Parents! It's ok, we weren't very risk adverse and were moving in that direction anyway. We're actually really stoked!
Two weeks ago I went into labor and it progressed so quickly I ended up having my baby on my bathroom floor. My sister caught her while my partner was on the phone with emergency services. I only ever watched your I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant videos for entertainment, but in the moment I was so glad I had seen them. I remembered what you said, kept calm, took the baby to my chest and left the cord alone. I did know I was pregnant, but I never planned for a birth outside of a hospital! We are all doing great now, thanks so much for your instructions.
My youngest sibling was born like that! I was sent to get grandma and the fire department. It really can happen so fast. Congratulations and im happy your all safe!
I got pregnant right after a miscarriage without a period in between. We were very much trying, so it was good news. I'm having a C-section in less than a week, wish me luck!
SOME women can also ovulate more than once a cycle. As the good Doctor was quick to point out, there's lots of variation! In college I had a friend who'd graduated who was denied birth control from her doctor "you may be engaged, but you're not married yet! I give you an Rx 3 months before your wedding date" and so she'd only have sex from post ovulating (by temp and mucus observation) to the 1st day of bleeding. Welp, that didn't work. Her mom told her they had a family history of double ovulation, that is twice in a cycle.
Holy crap, what a shitty Doctor! :( You're engaged but not married yet? What the hell? Policing that couple's sex life is no one's job--certainly not the doctor's! Sheesh!
This exact explanation + chart with more details was part of my biology curriculum when I was 14 (France). It's mind boggling to me that this is not common knowledge / systematically taught to teens.
as long as you are careful with any transbian flings you will be fine. Gonadectomies are common enough in said population and 100% effective if you see physical evidence
My junior high health teacher told us that if we were going to be sexually active and we didn't want to get pregnant, we should use 2 forms of birth control. Sounds like some of these people could have used that advice.
@@Tiredmumyeah, there is only one method that is failproof and this is not doing it or you are in a same sex relationship. But using at least one type of contraception is better than those girls believing that pulling it out or breastfeeding or flushing her lady parts with soda afterwards would prevent pregnancy. Can't believe we talk about this outside of a poor developement country.
My dad told me this story of his medical rotation in the ER in West Virginia: The couple was young, and out on a date when she starts spontaneously vomiting, a lot. He panics, rushes her to the ER. Several hours later, the doc tells them, "You are aware that you are four months pregnant, right?" She was not, in fact, aware of this, and responded by grabbing the young man by his collar and repeatedly punching him in the face while screaming "You son of a b****, YOU SAID THE BAGGIE WOULD WORK!" They had used sandwich bags as condoms. It took three grown men to get her off of him, and she broke his nose, blackened both eyes, knocked out two teeth and fractured his jaw before they did. Clif Notes version: unexpected pregnancy leads to extensive facial injuries in foolish young man.
How young is young? What type of sex education did she have, if any? Was the young man older than the young woman? She could easily have believed him if she hadn't had any sex education.
@@jacquelyns9709 if that were the situation it would be the parents fault for not providing sex Ed, I mean is not difficult, just say " if you want to have sex use condoms" but as well, the fact that a man told her to use a plastic bag as a condom... That's incredible ignorant even for a man
@Framokamc Well, OP stated this took place in West Virginia, soooo... I think it's a safe to assume that neither the man nor the woman in that story had any type of sex education, only someone telling them, "Don't have sex until after you get married kids!" 🙄🤦♀️ What else would you expect from WV? 🤷♀️
@jacquelyns9709 So OP mentioned that this happened in West Virgin...now what do you think they were being taught there? 🤔 (And if you said, "well nothing!" I think you would be correct my friend. The only thing certain states ever tell their kids is, "Now don't have sex until after you are married, ok kids!?" It's incredibly shameful and really needs to be stopped.)
I feel really awkward knowing we use this method very often as well as condoms. 10 months later I luckily never got pregnant. 😂 btw my partner is reliable, and he told me pre-ejaculation fluid is nothing like the real thing, especially when it comes to sensation. And he pulls out very soon before the end. Not every partner is reliable though, it requires practice. 😅 Anyways, never use this method if getting pregnant is a way too scary option for whatever reason. We could raise a baby, so...
@@MyLittleEdelweiss Just because someone is experienced, doesn't mean you won't get pregnant. It's good that you're okay if you do get pregnant, but don't get too confident with this method.
@@MyLittleEdelweiss you do know that pre-ejaculation can still contain sperm though, right? So, there's still a possibility to get pregnant just from it even if using the withdrawal method. So, I personally would not rely on it at all if not trying to get pregnant.
The fact that Irish twins and large French Catholic families exist prove that it is FULLY possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding. My grandmother had 8 kids in 10 years AND her husband worked away half the year so… ya know math means she was pregnant pretty quick after her babies were born 😂
@@mysterygirl-xt4ic she had to, they lived in the middle of nowhere where and no one was around that could have been a wetnurse. Maybe in a pinch they used cow milk but my mom says as much as she remembers her mom was breastfeeding . The only reason her parents stopped at 8 was that her dad got sick and was in hospital when she was a teenager😂 my grandmother always told me she always thought she would have 10 kids like most of the women in our family so she figured she lucked out at only 8.
When I was very young, I asked my dad how you get babies. He said, "Well, in your mother's case, all it takes is a warm smile and a hearty handshake." My mother had the first 3 of us 7 offspring in 25 months and 18 days, even though she only had one fallopian tube and ovary.
I hate that more people do know that only having one is not an Infertility diagnosis. I have heard a story of a iui tech refusing to do a round of sperm because the patient was “ovulating on the side without the tube”- and it needed to be “the same side”. - the tubes are like lil tentacles they will move towards the ovulating overly
Please debunk Pam Stenzel's MISINFORMATION about abortion, birth control, STI's and Girdasil in "Sex has a price tag". Apparently A LOT of kids heard this in US schools
@@smoothiechick96 Same here, Pam Stenzel videos were the only sex ed I got in Christian school in 2014. It's shocking to me that she still has a platform after all these years of spreading fear and misinformation.
As a lab tec, i have seen post vas samples with more swimmers then some no vasectomy samples so definitely do your follow ups and read and follow those instruction very carefully.
We were so careful after my husband's. My uncle had a post vasectomy baby. He went in to the doctor and they checked his count and were like yeah you're definitely still fertile.
This. People looked at me like I was crazy when I went in for a bilateral salpingectomy, instead of my husband going for a vasectomy. I was like, do you know the failure rate of vasectomies vs salpingectomies?!
I’m glad you addresses the issue with the question “is there any chance you are pregnant?” As a woman with anxiety and who is very detail focused, I always struggle to say “no,” because, I mean, there is a chance. I take my birth control at the same time every day, but I know that’s not 100% foolproof.
I think it is normal to worry about being pregnant for a moment when there’s no chance you could be. I remember as a 14yo and wondering why my period was late. I’d wonder if I was pregnant despite being a virgin at the time. 😂
@@lenakohl2339 1, you are not her, so you do not know her. 2, you don't know how old she was when she got her period, and 3, you don't know her home and life situation. Don't go around making assumptions. One day it'll get you in a lot of trouble.
Please talk about Karissa Collins' DANGEROUS MISINFORMATION! She's pregnant with her 11th CHILD. She only has "free births" with NO MEDICIAL PROFESSIONALS ALLOWED! She praises free birthing to her 1.5 million followers. She said: "I have almost died a few times. I am posting a video about this soon. I would most def give my life yo bring about more. 😍"She belives in "biblical fasting" while PREGNANT. Her child almost died from sepsis TWO TIMES because of untreated UTI's. God "told her" to not vaccinate her kids.
Yo, MDJ commentary on fundie quiver full nonsense would be great! This first couple in the vid are Mormon, I think and have a podcast where they basically hate each other.
Could we change the question, "Any possibility that you are pregnant?" To two questions: - Are you currently sexually active? - Are you having sex with someone who can get you pregnant? Edit: It seems I need to adjust these questions and add one or two more so let's try these: 1) Have you had sex in the last 9 months? 2) Are you having sex with someone who could get you pregnant? 3) What methods of birth control are you using? 4) Are you currently undergoing fertility treatments? Again, this is addressing the problem of people not understanding the base question of "Any possibility you could be pregnant?" It often gets confused with "Are you currently experiencing any pregnancy symptoms?" In people's minds. I'd much rather have my providers ask more questions to ensure they get a more accurate answer, than one question they are going to roll their eyes at when it turns out the patient was wrong.
that's the question I was asked before getting out of the educational system. Then it was "any chance you are pregnant?" or worse "are you pregnant? are you sure?" YES I'm SURE I've been trying to conceive, and I know for sure my last negative hCG was relevant 😭"
@@SaheeliRai some people aren't currently having sex, or haven't recently enough that they could be pregnant so you can just stop after they say they haven't had sex.
Lol, yeah, the "any chance you are pregnant" always makes me laugh because the answer is yes. I'm still ovulating, and my spouse whmith whom I'm active has a vasc, but life happens, so the possibility for 2 weeks every month is not zero. Other times, when they ask about taking BC and I say I dont take anything, they always get confused. How can I be SA, clearly not menopausal, and not on BC and yet tell them there's no chance of pregnancy? I let them flouder for a moment before I mention the vasc. Lol, medical community could ask better questions.😂
Does seminal fluid get anywhere near your vaginal opening? People generally assume a vasectomy makes it "impossible" to get pregnant. Backdoor action should be safe but depending on the deposit site those swimmers can slip & slide to an egg.
I hate the sideways looks I get when I say no to “any chance you could be pregnant”. Like it’s impossible for them to believe that a woman in her 30s has always practiced celibacy when I tell them I’ve NEVER been sexually active. But Noooo, I get the side eye of “sure you have. Heard that one before and she was 3 months pregnant…and a nun”. It makes me want to shout “I have no reason to lie to you, medical professionals, about this! It’s not like you’re my priest. I really am in layman’s terms a virgin. Now stop acting so surprised and treating me like a lying harlot and tell me what’s wrong!” There are lots of reasons for someone to practice celibacy and I support everyone’s right to choose what they do with their own bodies. Whether it’s to have sex or abstain. You do you, but respect other people’s choices, and listen to what they are telling you and believe them.
I’m glad you feel comfortable around medical professionals on the topic. Unfortunately, not everyone is, and I think they’ve been burned too frequently to act otherwise. When someone is pregnant, it affects the care, particularly with medications and tests involving radiation, so they don’t want any surprises and to have a potential lawsuit on their hands.
There are women who have never had sex and are virgins. When I was in my late 20s/ early 30s, a doctor told me I should masterbate to make gynecology exams easier for the doctor to do. He said this as I was leaving the exam room. I was shocked and highly offended. He should have had a serious discussion about this, not say a flippant remark.
"I am 100% positive that I am not pregnant. If you would like to run a test for your peace of mind, fine, but I will not be billed for it." They are trying to err on the side of caution. Being treated as a pregnant patient won't harm anyone but treating as not pregnant could cause harm. ERs nearly always run one, jtbs.
I feel this frustration. Not for the same reason but for one that is pretty outrageous to hear nowadays. From my early teens to now (currently late 20's) I have only ever had one partner and vice versa for him. We've been teen sweethearts going on 16 years now. Anytime I get asked the question "How many partners have you been with in the past so and so time period?" and I answer only 1 for my entire sexually active life, they give me a look like "Uh huh, sure. I've heard that one before." I understand there's probably a bunch of young women out there that make up that lie all the time but, just as you state, what reason would I have to lie to you? I just want to figure out what's wrong in the fastest and easiest way possible for both of us so quit your judging and help me. I'm sorry you have to go through that every time you're asked that question in the doctor's office. You are not alone in that frustration at all I assure you.
Fun fact: If you reply "I'm not attractive enough for anyone to have sex with me." They don't question it at all. They just go "Oh, okay. Um... next question." And yes, I still suffer from self esteem issues. And I'm sure I upset quite a few nurse practitioners when getting basic tests done with my incredibly sad response as a teen. I still remember the radiology tech's face who was stunned speechless and eventually just muttered "Oh dear."
I like the way you phrased the "could you possibly be pregnant" questions, because ive had several dr encounters that go like "are you sexually active?" and i say yes, and they ask "are you using contraception" and i say no i dont need to, and they look shocked until i say im a lesbian, they always just assume that sex = possible pregancy its so annoying
I’m not sexually active at all, and I WAS pregnant (IVF/donor bub). Confused the heck out of some doctors when they did their weird roundabout questions! 😂
I had a nurse ask "is there any chance you are pregnant?" and when I said no, she marked both the "not sexually active" AND the "not pregnant" boxes. I had to stop her and tell her that I was sexually active, I just was with a woman at the time. It's really frustrating.
I hate being asked if I'm pregnant, and when I say bo I get asked if I'm sure. Yeah I'm pretty sure that not having sex for about 20 years means I'm in the clear thanks.
Both my kids were conceived on my period. Same for my Mom and her Mom. We all ovulate right at the end of our period ls and it may not be fully stopped when we ovulate. I've had so many people tell me you cannot get pregnant on or just after your period. Like no. You can for both.
And sperm could live around 5 days. Sometimes less, sometimes more. That plus uncertain time of ovulation makes calendar method really bad contraceptive. But it's a good method to conceive babys, if it's the goal 😅
@Nice_Tree yup. My Mom told me a saying she was taught by my grandma, "you can have sex on Friday night and get pregnant on Sunday during morning mass." I'm not religious myself so I've rephrased it for my daughter but it still gets the idea across. Sperm typically lives about 3-5 days before it dies and/or gets removed by the immune system. (My Mom also taught me that despite what diagrams often depict, it's not a closed system. She taught me how ectopic pregnancies while most often, don't just happen inside the fallopian tubes, but can't sometimes impact elsewhere outside the reproductive system.)
I appreciate the trans masc representation. The number of potential partners that have assumed bc I am on T I can’t get pregnant is scary. Personally, I am not willing to take that chance! Luckily now I have had a hysterectomy so I am significantly less stressed about that concern!
Can't say I'm surprised about people thinking that, an old law in Finland stated that trans people had to be sterile (it didn't need to be permanent but still) in order to get their gender changed in the legal system, and so many people, even some sort of fertility experts, claimed that after a year on HRT everyone will become sterile so why bother changing the law requiring it. Luckily laws have changed recently and it's no longer needed.
I do think it also needs to be said for transfemme individuals that estrogen also isn't 100% effective as a birth control method, this is even more commonly believed than the testosterone myth. I read a story about a woman who had a hysterectomy but still had her ovaries that got pregnant... wild stuff. Though she did have an intact cervix...
@@astralb.2647 yeah when I was discussing surgery with my doctor I was like “ideally I’d like all of it removed so there’s literally no chance of pregnancy ever”, so that’s what we went with.
One of my old high school friends was told by her doctor that she couldn't get pregnant soon after giving birth/while breastfeeding, which was how she got pregnant with twins two months after her daughter was born. Personally even with all the caveats I'd be too leery to try it
Those Doctors should be called out honestly. A school mate of mine was having a hormonal imbalance where she was lactating a bit (galactorrea) and apparently her Gyno told her it would stop her from getting pregnant (or that’s what she claims) That’s how she became a single mom a few months later 🤦🏻♀️
It's a terrible idea to rely on breastfeeding as contraception - unless you want a baby of course!😅 Every woman's body is different so it's a roll of the 🎲
Wow. Where did this doctor get his/her medical license? Shortly after the 6 weeks postpartum appointment my doctor made it clear, that I can get pregnant. He even said, my body is mostly regenerated and I can get my period again. He explained, that breastfeeding isn’t a birth control method and I can get the pill.
I really appreciate your take on communication -- it's part of your job as the professional to make sure that what you are saying or asking is properly understood. I spent years writing technical documentation professionally (engineering not medical, but the same concept applies). Too many of my colleagues took the Humpty Dumpty approach: “When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean-neither more nor less”. This is bound to lead to misunderstanding. You have the gift of being not only an excellent doctor, but an excellent communicator. Thanks for all you do.
as someone who has adhd i too am grateful for the specifics! it makes me able to not worry about maybes and actually understand the questions therefore answer correctly rather than out of guessing and hoping it was right
My husband and I were trying to get pregnant and not having any luck, so did the tests and found my husband had low/no motility, and eventually we decided that we were going to stop trying/not pursue invitro etc. and the next day I made an appointment to get an IUD put in. I am very risk adverse and I did NOT want a surprise pregnancy. Even though the doctors said it would be nearly impossible for us to get pregnant without help, I have heard too many stories of people getting pregnant when they stopped trying and I didn't want that lol
I'm one of those stories here, though we didn't technically stop, quite the opposite, but still fitting. My husband was perfectly fine, but I have PCOS (among other health issues) and we essentially couldn't get my body to ovulate. We tried hormone medication that would induce ovulation + HRT (estrogen gel + progesterone vaginal suppositories), accompanied with monthly ultrasounds (as in, I'd take 5 pills, 1 daily, from day 5 until day 10 of my cycle. On day 10, we'd perform an ultrasound to see if any "cysts" with eggs have grown/appear to be "ripe"). For 5 months, it never worked, nothing was happening, even though we slowly increased the dosage. Even in August, I went in for my check up and was told that there was no particular activity, nothing stood out. By all appearances, that month was "another dud". So I took my HRT as usual, took my progesterone until 7 days after where my cycle was due (I generally had a long cycle and with progesterone, it did take longer to kick in) and did a pregnancy test as conformation for me to stop taking progesterone to force my period to kick in. BOOM, I was pregnant. I am now almost 13 weeks along, after all the issues we had and after being told it wouldn't happen that month. We were THIS close to looking into IVF or similar and suddenly it worked. The baby is growing normally and everything is perfectly fine. What I'm trying to say is that the body is really weird and even if you think that you're definitely not going to get pregnant, it can still happen somehow (be it a positive or negative thing for each individual). PS: I was also a surprise baby, my mum was taking the birth control pill and still got pregnant with me because it failed :) She then struggled for years to get pregnant again, when she wanted a second child.
I'm non-binary and OMG the stupid things I've been told **by medical "professionals"** about periods and pregnancy is absolutely insane. (For context- I've never been sexually active so there's been a 0% chance my entire life) -As a teenager I had a nurse ask me if my last period started within the last 30 days. It hadn't, so I said no. Only to then be told "So you're pregnant". I looked at the nurse like they had three heads, and after several seconds of trying to figure out WTF to answer said "Excuse me? What???". Only to be very condescendingly "informed" that "if it's been more than 30 days since your last period started you are pregnant". Yeah, it had been 31 days since my last period started, and only 15 since it ended (yes, you did the math right, that's 16 days of bleeding). My periods ranged from 16-60 days apart, and 8-16 days long, 31 days was nothing to me. -In an ER because my migraine was going haywire. A migraine I'd had for 1.5 years. I asked for the meds my doctor usually gives me (I couldn't wait to get in there sadly due to vomiting, I was already badly dehydrated), only to be told I couldn't have them, "because they would kill the baby". The what??? "The baby, you're pregnant" (note-the nurse had literally just taken blood and urine for testing, leaving after he entered the room, so he was basing this off only my nausea, which is an insanely common migraine symptom). I stated I wasn't and had never had sex, only for him to point at my partner and say "Yes you have". He ended up "informing" me, after the tests came back all negative (obviously), that I was pregnant with "pregnancy migraines" (not a thing), and that my tests were negative "because you're too early". 1.5 years, YEARS, he was saying twice the length of human pregnancy was too early to test. And the meds he was denying me? Zofran and magnesium. Aka a common morning sickness med and med used to treat preeclampsia. It does not kill fetuses, and it certainly doesn't kill non-existent ones. -Post hysterectomy, this one was....interesting. And by "interesting" I mean someone lost their job. I was in my neurologists infusion center and had literally just finished telling the nurse about my hysterectomy (I was showing symptoms that didn't make sense with why I was there), and her next question was "When was your last period?". Ummm, what, were you paying any attention to me? I just said "Hysterectomy", and was told it didn't matter if I'd had a hysterectomy, I needed to tell her the date of my last period so she would know if I was pregnant. Not "might be", "was", that's not how periods work. It was at this point I see the supervisors head emerge from behind the desk in increasing levels of horror. However he let her keep going, because he knew me well enough by then to know I could handle it, and that I would call him in if I needed. This travesty of a conversation went on for a few more minutes, only for her at the end to say "Ok, I'll go get your IV supplies". Yeah, how about not. I pointed over her shoulder (he was standing behind her at that point) and said "No, someone else is gonna do that and you're gonna go talk to [supervisors name]". I was her last patient, a new nurse was assigned to me, and, after redoing the safety check, set up my IV.
@probably_notbob5794 yep, I've sadly encountered many very not professional medical providers. Like to PTSD levels, which is ridiculous. These are just the worst of the period related stories.
Literally a coworker was having hormonal issues along with many other health issues and her husband had gotten a vasectomy years ago. She hadn’t had a period in like 2-3 yrs so the doctors all thought she was going thru early menopause. She got treatments for her health issues and started getting her period again. This kinda made her nervous since they weren’t practicing safe sex because he was clipped right? On a whim, she asked him to get tested. His vas deferens grew back and he was shooting live rounds again. Apparently there’s a procedure where the dr burns the vas deferens up 6 inches so that’s it’s unlikely to regrow. But it’s NOT impossible!!! They’re back to condoms now. 😬
I got pregnant while breastfeeding without having had a period. didn’t mind because I was married and planning to have more children. But it was ectopic and miscarried, possibly because I was not fully recovered from a difficult labor
As a trans man, thank you for including us! Also when i started my Testosterone treatment, the nurse didnt know i was trans. She asked, "Are you trying to get pregnant?" And i said "God no" after some confusion and explaining on my part, she said, "be very careful when having sex with someone who can get you pregnant. Testosterone alone is not a good birth control" i thanked her and told her i wasnt planning on having any sex with anyone. (Im demisexual with no partners) 😂
Yes!!! I actually didn't know what to say when doctors ask, "is there any chance you're pregnant" because yes, if I'm having sex but also on birth control there still is a chance but like really low and also I don't have regular periods which makes it even less likely. I always answered "technically, yes there is a chance" even though I knew the chance was low. But this also seemed to exasperate the doctors when I said it so I have no idea. I could have been reading too much into their reactions though because I have anxiety and probably some form of neurodivergence.
This works very different where I live, once I was very sick to the point that my immune system wasn't working, a doctor requested an STD test to verify if there was some viral infection attacking my immune system, when they were going to take the blood test they asked if I was pregnant, I literally said " no, I'm on BC" and that was all, no pregnancy nor STD since I have only been with my bf, I wasn't worried at all, I just wanted to be healthy since I was sick for months 😂😂😂
I'd guess you could say "No, unless my birth control failed". I usually answer "No unless there's been a miracle" (Husband had a vasectomy after 5 pregnancies with 4 living kids.)
patient perspective: my husband answers for me in quite a few contexts. I tend to shut down in medical facilities becuase I have a few chronic conditions that were overlooked dispite my attempt to get treatment for years so I don't always give the best info. I also have a bad memorie and hearing issues so having him talk when I don't feel good is often far easier for me then putting myself through the stress of doing it myself. There's actually quite a few good reasons it might be happening. Just wanted to offer another perspecitve.
I have MS, and am one of those patients who got eye rolls from my doctors in the 10 years it took to get a diagnosis, I even had my husband asked to "step out" so I could tell the nurses all the horrible ways he must be abusing me that were quite literally just my body tearing itself apart. (Severe severe severe spams with my MS more than weakness) So i can sometimes be a 'hostile' patient, and my husband knows the warning signs and will take over answering for me. Doctors and nurses have 2 chances at this point to irritate me before I lose it. 1 chance if they really mess up. And especially if I am not feeling well, and if I have a migraine, my husband doesn't even wait to just talk for me. I truly am normally a very good patient, a very understanding patient, I get it, my body failed anatomy 101, I didn't, but my body did lol. But if you are not a neuro, and especially one who deals with MS, you don't get to tell me "usually with MS" because if there was a "usual" it wouldn't take on average 5+ years to get a diagnosis. When I hear the sickening shucking and pop sound that makes people in public panic because it sounds like a gun went off, you don't get to look at my xrays and determine its all good, I want my mri thank you because that's soft tissue damage. When I tell you I am allergic to epi-pens, you don't get to tell me I CAN'T be because the body makes epinephrine. . But it doesn't make epi-pens, just like yeah it makes cortisol too, but not in a lab. So yes 1 strike against you is if I have to correct myself to "okay fine, I am allergic to all synthetic cortisols, but you think you know better fine give me a steroid shot in my vein and watch we swell up, seize and die if you think you're so much wiser, rub some of that cream on me and watch it swell up and turn baboon ass red since your 7 years of med school exceeds my 40+ years experience in this body. Which is about the time the doctors or nurses look to my husband who just gives a shrug of you wanted her to explain not me. I hate arguing with doctors and nurses, I hate being an irate patient, but I hate and have the least confidence in doctors and nurses who do not listen, do not read the chart before spouting off, and want to tell me what my body is and isn't capable of. (Did have one doctor tell me there was no way I torn a tendon or ligament sitting on the couch from a muscle spasms, a few minutes later I was laughing my ass off through the pain because he dove for cover when my ankle popped as I was sitting there on the exam table, he saw the muscle knot up under the skin and then just slurp POW!!! like a gun shot. Got an mri immediately of my ankle and yep 2 torn tendons. I was prescribed another muscle relaxant in addition to the 8 I was already taking at the time)
@@namaking3993 Allergies can be strange sometimes. A relative went on blood pressure meds and went anaphylactic. Went to the ER, was given steroids as a take home prescription to chill things out. Turns out she's anaphylactic to those too. She wasn't diagnosed with MS but it has been brought up many times throughout the years. Had a presentation straight out of my nursing school textbooks, but it still took her 3 years to get diagnosed with psoriasis. The GI doctor caught it (many of his patients have the same overlapping conditions) and helped her out before her incompetent dermatologist did. She's with a new one now. That doctor has obviously never had a patient with EDS or on fluoroquinolones.
I LOVE that you trust you husband enough and he is committed enough to be there! After my mom had 5 'TIA' (mini strokes) I went in to all her Doc office visits with her. No one could tell just by casual conversation but her medical care often included changing medications. Some docs seemed confused why I was there but some were downright hostile! One was on the verge of claiming elder abuse because of a bruise- she was on bloodthinners. It was a real process to keep all meds straight so I wrote them down. I made it my business to ask the questions and to set up follow ups. She was perfectly capable of speaking for herself and she often did- I never discouraged her. But as her HISTORY and symptoms got longer, it was far easier for me to rattle them off to get each nurse up to speed- and then have Mom speak the current events. I knew she had cancer before the doc would consider it. I knew something was wrong when they sent the nurse in who had the wrong patient chart and was asking a bunch of questions she should have already had the answer to. They thought I just like to argue- but no- I just like my mom to have the correct medications and not die. Your ADVOCATE is YOUR CHOICE- not the doctor's!!
I'm "just" a cis woman (so boring 😋) and I'm soooooooooo happy each time I see inclusion like this. There are many very lovely people, who went through generations of struggles, without acknowledgement. It warms my heart to see inclusion. Especially when a medical professional steps up to the task of making more room for a greater diversity of needs. A diversity that is humane and has existed all along.
Yes! As a nonbinary person it is so healing to see us being discussed just like everyone else, without it being negative or dramatised. We're just people :)
I’m on testosterone and have an implant in my arm, but check every month to see if I’m pregnant. Haven’t gotten a period in almost six months but I DO live in Florida, so gotta stay vigilant 😭
God iwas told i had to remove my implant but my doctors never put me on any contraceptives while i was on t, only the first 3 months to stop my periods 😅 idk how to tell them this was such a bad idea considering i told them i was sexually active, and he is the only doctor for trans people avaliable in my city😅
Yeah I was put on birth control before they gave me testosterone(I was only on it for 9 months im nonbinary and I got the results I wanted without becoming too masc looking) I have the arm one too, I've gotten pregnant once in the past 3 years but I had a miscarriage like immediately after finding out I was barely 3 weeks pregnant, I check ever 2 weeks now lol
MDJ, have you ever considered making your own age appropriate sex ed videos for children and teens? I love your factually accurate info. My child is only 5 but I want to make sure I give her the best info possible as she grows because I certainly did not in my red state that teaches sex ed like the part on Mean Girls. It's even more pertinent to me since the Dobbs decision to ensure my child has as much knowledge about bodily autonomy as possible. So far we've only touched on real names for body parts and consent and I'd like guidance of where to go from here. Thanks for considering.
That's a great idea! It would be very helpful if the doctor would do a series of an age-appropriate sex talk videos for each age. It could be something a parent could watch for guidance or let the kid watch it.
Yes, my twelve year old has had comprehensive sex ed and more medically accurate education would be appreciated. Online it's either highly religious or too advanced.
My 76 year old mom makes me fill out any paperwork for her. The other day she had to go to the Dr. for some kind of scan. The patient information form asked "Is it possible for you to be pregnant? If no/ why not?" (I had never seen it stated like that) I told my mom I answered it "Because I only do anal" 😂 She was NOT amused!
Thank you so much for including the section about testosterone! Especially for mentioning that nonbinary people take testosterone for gender affirmation. We're so often either completely erased or misrepresented in these conversations, so huge thank you for the inclusion here.
I am a trans man on testosterone and im in a ton of online support groups for trans men. I am constantly telling trans men whose doctors did NOT tell them they still need birth control when on T if theyre having PIV sex, i *beg* them to tell their doctor to add it to their general advice when putting transmascs on HRT. some doctors are incredibly irresponsible. The number of transmascs who dont know that T isnt contraception terrifies me.
A lot of ftm guys who finally get on T are so relieved and excited to finally be on T, they get euphoric. And in the excitement they completely overlook or slip into denial that yes, sir, you can still get pregnant. It's highly unlikely, but totally possible. Some trans men are hyper aware of preventing any and all chance of pregnancy because of the potential dysphoria, while others just live in total denial of the risk. Trans people are human and unfortunately just as susceptible to everyday logical fallacies. Speaking of logic fallacies, I suspect a lot of the doctors that see ftm patients just assume they're heterosexual? So they don't think their patient can get pregnant if they're bumping tacos with their gf/wife even thought trans men can be gay or bisexual or any other orientation (Basically it's a series of failures that land some guys in very uncomfortable situations)
@@clueless_cutiePeople do often assume that all trans people are straight! And yeah, I do think that’s part of why trans people don’t get told about risks of pregnancy.
That husband asking his wife if SHE was using birth control and then saying actions have consequences is nauseating. She was healing from giving birth and dealing with breast feeding and all the hormonal, emotional, and physical issues of giving birth and sustaining another human with her body. It should not have been solely up to her. HE WASN'T USING IT EITHER! He could have used a condom! Whether to use birth control and what form should have been a conversation and research for them both!!!!! A website is a start for doing more research into your choice, not a stopping point.
Ooh happy to see you talk about HRT not being a contraceptive, because in my country the one hospital that has a monopoly on transcare, INSIST it's IMPOSSIBLE to get pregnant while on HRT. Great video!! :>
The pull-out method seemed to work for us, because we never got pregnant. We were surprised how effective it was. Then we tried and couldn’t conceive, even after I was on Clomid. So yeah, pulling out is super effective if you’re actually infertile.
Things you only find out after trying to conceive! I always had to answer with a caveat when asked “are you gonna have kids someday?” Like I didn’t know I could until I tried!
I see the same doctors regularly, but whenever I have to have a procedure they always ask if there's any chance I'm pregnant. Same with MRIs. I always laugh and say not unless its just floating around in there. My hysterectomy is in my medical records...that they either forget every time or don't bother looking at. Before that, I'd had a tubal, so my answer was always I better not be, or someone has some explaining to do.
My mom is the same. She had to have a total hysyerectomy due to a uterine prolapse so whenever doctors ask her if there's any possibility she could be pregnant she gets a kick out of it.
@lizard3755 I've heard of women having that happen before. I had my uterus removed in my 30s, after my tubal my periods were never the same. I went on bc to try and regulate them. Unfortunately, after more than 10 years it wasn't working anymore, and I was hitting an age where bc would add other health risks. I actually asked about ablation, my ob did an exam and said he didn't think I was a good candidate for ablation, so hysterectomy it was.
My mom had a tubal ligation but it didn’t take because of scar tissue from a childhood car accident. Lucky for me, but a surprise for her (she did have a miscarriage before me so she knew she was still fertile)
Love the emphasis on risk aversion cause that does feel like the part that is most important in deciding which form to rely on (besides personal medical history and risk levels from medication itself).
I think a really important caveat about the pull out method is that the 87% rate is if it's done right every time (basically right before ejaculation.) Not everyone knows their body well enough to be able to predict this and not everyone is actually WILLING to do this. If it's someone you're hooking up with for the first time, you don't know them well enough to rely on pulling out in time. It's also the tactic of crappy folks who just don't want to wear condoms to say they'll just pull out when it's time. Pulling out also doesn't prevent STIs from spreading the way condoms do!
according to the planned parenthood website the withdrawal method is 96% effective when used perfectly and 78% with typical use.The 87% number I think is for typical use of condoms?
@@lou40786 you're right, I used the wrong number. (It turns out sleep is necessary for good thinking and communicating, who would have thought?) The perfect rate for condoms is 98% and for withdrawal it's 96%, but the ability for a contraceptive measure to work perfectly is very affected by the human aspect (bringing withdrawal down to 78%.) If I were in a position to be choosing my birth control I'd pick a condom any time for that extra protection and it's definitely important to stress the different numbers to people who are just learning about safer sex!
@@Freaky0Nina According to a fairly old blog post on PP it's 85 out of 100. Of 100 women followed for a year who did not use any birth control, 15 got pregnant. I'm also curious about how aware those studied/surveyed were of their ovulation and such. Time for another rabbit hole!
I’m due in December, and I had to explain to my husband that history is not a method of contraception. Meaning this is an IVF baby, and it took us four years to get pregnant. *However,* our official diagnosis is ‘unexplained infertility.’ So if the doctors can’t tell me why I had such a hard time getting pregnant, I’m not willing to assume it *can’t* happen just because it *hasn’t.*
Yes! A girlfriend of mine is one of these stories. Her and her husband tried for five years with all the fertility treatments and NOTHING. She got pregnant sans treatments in 2021, 2023, and is expecting baby #3 as we speak. 😅 Life is crazy and, like you said, history is not birth control. 😅
The mother's body is extra fertile after having a baby. It's also important to realize that you ovulate *before* your period, meaning your fertile before your period returns after birth. It doesn't come back at the same time for everyone.
@ Ovulation does happen before your period, but I don’t think there’s any actual evidence that the body is more fertile after birth. If anything, you’re less fertile for a few weeks up to a few months while the body puts a lot of energy into recovering, then fertility usually returns to baseline. Still not willing to bet on my baseline, though. Besides, I worked hard for those freezer babies. I want to use them. 😆
@ There is actually research on the last decade that shows higher fertility rates in the first few months after pregnancy or pregnancy loss. After pregnancy loss, it's also shown that the first few months carry the highest chance to conceive again and have a live birth. Doctors used to tell women to wait a few months after a pregnancy loss before trying again. The recent research has many doctor changing that advice. Now, doctors in the know say the woman can try to conceive again as soon as her HCG is back to zero (or under 5). A woman cannot ovulate until her HCG goes all the way down. It takes a couple weeks for early pregnancy loss. It can take months for later pregnancy loss or after giving birth. Unless you're tracking your HCG down to zero after pregnancy (not a common practice), it can be hard to know when your HCG has gone all the way down and this when your fertility is returning. My best friend is a NICU nurse. A lot of the babies she cares for in the NICU were conceived very shortly after a sibling was born. The risks are higher if the mother's body doesn't have a year (or better two) to recover from the previous pregnancy and birth. That's why so many of the NICU babies come from these situations. My friend warns people all the time that they're highly fertile after giving birth and that breastfeeding doesn't guarantee you won't ovulate.
Thank you for not kink shaming. It´s important that people feel that it´s okay to tell their doctors about what they are doing without the fear of being shamed.
When I was in middle school, one time my mom was doing sex ed talk for my friend*, and my friend was going through all of the non-standard contraception methods and myths, to know what works and what doesn't. One of the things she asked about was period sex, so my mom replied with a question "Do you think it works?", the friend said ofc it does, and my mom replied "If it did, we wouldn't have this talk, because Klaudia wouldn't exist" - and I'm like 💀💀💀 You could have told me first mom XD She didn't, because apparently she didn't think I needed the proof, since I belived her the first time she told me it doesnt work, but damn, way to learn precisely when and how you were made XDDD *[she was raised only by her dad, who was quite neglectful and purposefully didn't do the talk of any sorts with her, so "she won't get pregnant before marriage", and every one of my friends loved my mom, so she sometimes would come to my mom with sex ed related questions]
Thank you for saying " if you're not risk adverse" because I was using pull out as primary means of contraception and ended up with a beautiful baby girl. It worked for years but always knew I was taking a risk 😂
As a highly risk averse person, people who are not risk averse make me feel anxious for them! I can't fathom a pregnancy being a "oh that happened" level of an oopsie when I'd be inconsolable XD
@@clueless_cutieI get that! There were times in my life where it would be devastating, but now I am secure romantically, financially, career wise, etc and want a kid but not yet urgently enough to "Try for A Baby" so I take the risk because, a pregnancy is not undesirable.
@@clueless_cutieit really depends where you are in your life. The main thing is to be aware of the risks and then it’s not such a surprise if something does happen.
And im so happy i got a hysterectomy. Got it 2 years ago at 24. I have one child and thats all i wanted. Now no more pain, and no chance of getting pregnant. Lets just say my labor was horrific. But if your period is lighter than usual, doesnt last as long, missed a period for a bit, etc please take a pregnancy test
10:35 I speak _up_ for my wife when at the doctors, and she relies on me for this because part of my 'tism is remembering all our medical information and random details about health concerns. Also, she gets panic attacks, so I fill in the role of communicating for her while a procedure is happening on the table. I would never step in and stop her from saying something to her doctor.
Lactational Amenorrhea is literally how I ended up with Kid #3. (Military) Doc said I didnt need to worry about birth control as long as I was exclusively breastfeeding. The day the doc cleared me to resume nuptials with my husband, I got pregnant. My two youngest were born 11 months apart.
My cousin went thru chemo, was demean infertile. 3 years later his wife felt ill, got to the hospital and it turns out she was pregnant. He got tested again and his sperm production was back to normal, like nothing has ever happened. My father's colleague had one of her tubes and part of her uterus removed duo to a treatment. She had 3 kid after that. Like, how.
?!??? Wow! I had to google, anesthesia/surgery medications can affect hormones or the way your body processes them?! Wild! Can't believe I've never heard of that. Thanks for sharing! o:
Their tic tok is about how Abby fell pregnant because they thought she was safe because she was breastfeeding. They never were giving advice on planned parenthood. Have you listened to them talk to anyone from the Duggers? Those poor girls being raised in that family and thank goodness they had amazing support from their husband to break away from their toxic upbringing
FYI they platform the Duggar kids who have left the IBLP (their parents' beliefs). I've listened to the podcasts, the Duggar ladies basically talked about how they were raised and their journey of breaking away from it.
What I learned in my midwifery training was that fertility could potentially return with any break longer than 4-6 hours in breastfeeding. So one really good nights sleep could potentially mean a return to your fertility. It's not certain that it will happen, but it's possible for some people. I also appreciate you including pumping in this. Pumping TOTALLY counts when it comes to breastfeeding for the infant. It does NOT count when you are talking about fertility.
Also LAM relies on not using pacifiers. Basically the baby is attached to your boob at all times. I always joked with my husband (who is a doctor) that this method is effective because nobody can have sex while a baby is more or less permanently attached to the mother. 😂
The comment about how providers ask/should ask if you're pregnant is so spot on. I had two different health care providers ask this in the same visit two different ways. The first one asked when my last menstrual cycle was and I told her it was the previous Monday and she didn't have any further questions. Next provider just straight up asked (in front of my MOTHER FYI) if there was any chance I could be pregnant. When I told her no, she asked if I was sexually active (again, in front of my MOTHER). It was extra frustrating considering I had just told the other provider my period had just happened and also had to answer that question in front of my mother (which is still uncomfortable as an adult in a long term relationship).
If you do not want to answer some questions in front of your mother, would it be helpful for her to not be in the room for part of your medical appointment? If this is your regular doctor, you could call the office and address this concern with them.
@@JaniceinOR This was an urgent care visit and she was the only person capable of picking me up and taking me. It's not that answering the question in front of her was a problem but rather the awkwardness of having to answer the question.
@norrineretz2011 I guess I do not understand. If I needed someone just as transportation, I would probably ask them to stay in the waiting room. Or did they ask those questions while you were still in the waiting room? If someone accompanies the patient into the exam room, people probably assume the patient is ok with that person being privy to everything.
@@JaniceinORIn this instance, it was actually more beneficial to have her in the room with me as she was able to answer a family history question that I assumed was not relevant. The provider asked the question like pregnancy could be the underlying cause of the issue and she was asking it while my mother was in the room. I think I wouldn't have had such an issue with it if it was a general screening question separate from the pregnancy/cycle question as my mom isn't religious or abstinence obsessed. It's how she asked it that was the problem.
It's not the patients' job to decipher what is meant by a question that isn't adequately spesific. When I had a girlfriend (a woman myself) doctors would ask me if I was sexually active and determine by my "yes" that I could be pregnant. It was annoying to have to correct them and explain why. It sometimes went: d: Are you sexually active? m: Yes. d: Is there a possibility that you're pregnant. m: No. d: What do you use for contraception. m: Well, nothing. Doctor looking at me like I'm an idiot: Then you CAN be pregnant, because if you don't use any contr... Me hoping we could have skipped to this point earlier - yet again: I'm in a relationship with a woman. d: *Grumbling noises while not looking me in the eyes* Once I realized how this went, I tried to jump ahead to clarify the question isn't relevant. But doctors often insist on getting only the answers they want and asking all the questions. And then they get embarrassed at the end. I didn't like the fact I always had to out myself when it was absolutely irrelevant. And that it was always this awkward hassle.
I got pregnant 5 years after my husband had a vasectomy. He did have his follow up and his count was nearly zero. Btw, this was done while he was serving in the military ( not the best care). We actually joked about a fail; because we knew several couples that ended up pregnant. Come to find out that Although rare, after he first gained a lot of weight and then had a Hernia near his groin; it pushed one of his tubes together again. Ultrasound showed it. I miscarried at 26 weeks .
My husband and I did the pull out method for pretty much like 10 years and no issues. Never a single pregnancy. The funny thing is I got pregnant twice on birth control. But never once with the pull out method. You do it well and reliably every time it does work. It's just that most people cannot do it reliably every time. Plus you also have to know your cycle.
Even if he pulls out before ejaculating, there is some sperm in the pre-ejaculate fluid, so pregnancy would still be possible, though rare. If I lived somewhere with an abortion ban, I would not risk it.
@@JaniceinOR if you actually look at studies with pre-ejaculation it's incredibly rare for pre-ejaculation sperm to actually be viable to get to the egg. Pre-Ejaculation sperm are low quality. And I get that but if it's your only option or if it's an option that you prefer and it works for you, then you should do what works for you.
And to be fair if there is an accident with the pull out, you should always get plan B. Any chance you think there could have been an accident. You gotta be careful.
@Fizzypopization Which studies did you look ar? 2013 "Sperm content of pre-ejaculatory fluid" Killick et al found that 25% of the pre-ejaculate fluid they collected had a reasonable proportion of motile sperm. "Hence, condoms should continue to be used from the first moment of genital contact."
I haven't finished the video, but I remember being told by my teacher in high school that all three of his children were results of the pull out method so no, it is not an effective birth control.
as a trans guy, can confirm, do NOT consider T birth control. i didn't get pregnant, but a little over 2 years after my last period, my cycle came back. i was diligent with my dosage and timing, my levels all looked perfect, but my ovaries decided to take matters into their own hands, i guess. if i had been using T as birth control, i would have been having a very bad time (it was still pretty bad. 2 years in, i didn't have any period products in the apartment and had to waddle down to the store)
Although if that does happen, you do need to tell your doctor about it. If you stop having a period for hormonal reasons that haven't changed (consistent hrt, certain types of birth control, menopause, etc) and it comes back, that is a potential sign of cancer
thank you for talking about testosterone HRT!! I keep meaning to share your channel with my friend (ftm), because he went to an Orthodox Jewish private school where they didn't get sex ed. I've held off because I don't want to scare him away by sending him a video that primarily talks about cis women (even though I know you do your best to make your content trans inclusive!! I really appreciate it as a nonbinary uterus-haver). I'm going to send him this video and see if he's interested :O
I got a weeks detention 30 years ago because the "marriage" class teacher told us that the rhythm method was 99% effective in preventing pregnancy and, filter broken, I said, yup, that's why you have a classroom full of kids. Even back then, I couldn't believe they were teaching this lie to teenagers! Thank gawd my Mom and sisters were more progressive and taught me reality!
My middle son has a post vasectomy/sperm count done baby. He had another vasectomy and my daughter in law ended up having a hysterectomy. Not sure how we got her, but she’s a total delight! ❤️😁
just got a bilateral salpingectomy, it would be so cool if you could do a video on permanent female sterilization, its definitely not talked about enough!
As always, while I am waayyy past getting PG, and not really at risk for any STDs, I still enjoy your videos. And yes, I think your videos in SE class would be very beneficial. Although I am sure some districts would think otherwise. Education is key.
Hi! Can you please do a video on Gov. Ron Desantis speech in Clearwater Fl about abortion. His information doesn’t seem totally accurate and I think we need a physician to clarify the way the law and amendment are written to make an educated vote.
I've been wishing I could hear her take on the proposed Amendment 4, too. I know it's not perfect and the language is often vague, I'm just trying to decide if it's still worth voting for or if I should hold off for something better since it's an amendment to our state constitution. I'm very reluctant to essentially vote for more years of the current 6 week ban.
@ After doing my own research, I decided that I will vote for it. I was strung up on the word viable. Which is defined by Florida state as a baby capable of living outside the womb. I have heard of many women giving birth to babies at 23 weeks and they survived. So I would assume viable means no later than 22 weeks which seems like a good time line because a lot of people don’t find out about genetic anomalies that would cause death at birth or shortly after until their 20 week anatomy scan. The only other thing that concerned me was the parental consent/notification thing. I don’t think this law that limits government involvement appeals parental consent law for minors to have abortion. I think that would have to be specifically in 4 for that to happen. I’m not a professional, so I could be wrong. I think we should do our own research and form our own opinions on it.
i have an unrelated question, wouldn't cis men taking testosterone to gain muscle mass or for whatever reason also be called "gender affirming" since they are taking T to keep up what they perceive as correlates with their idea of being a man?
Currently nursing the 8 month old I conceived while exclusively breastfeeding my 15 month old and without having had any period. Now I knew I could get pregnant and was totally fine with it, but it is my reminder - no period does not equal no ovulation
Yes. Same with kids and their first period. If people start being sexually active really early, they can still get pregnant before their first period. Theres always one ovulation before the first period
From my understanding it prevents ovulation for 6 months max if you do everything right. I occasionally hear about those who exclusively breastfed and still had periods come back like 6 weeks postpartum. It was about 6 months for me though getting my period postpartum.
You're the first medical profession I have ever encountered who was willing to accept the "not doing pregnancy causing activites during your fertile window" as a plausible contraception method, lol. Before we did a vascectomy I did temperature tracking as my BC (caveats! I have very regular cycles, I found pregnancy an acceptable risk, I had a partner who respected my choice and used condoms during my fertile window, and I was very good at checking & tracking my temps. It is not for everyone). It worked flawlessly for me for the half dozen years I did it. I knew my ovulation pattern so well, that when we did choose fo get pregnant (about 6 months after I started - we get pregnant pretty easily so it only took 1 cycle), my temp charting showed the day my daughter implanted and I knew from that I was pregnant days before I got my positive test. What I am grateful for here, is that you brought up the fertile window as relevant. When I first told my OB i was done with the pill (i HATED the way it affected my mind and subdued my personality), and told her I was temp tracking she gave me the most disgusted, contempt filled look, and said that 20% of women using "the rhythm method" would be pregnant by the end of the year. I told her that was not what i was doing. She continued to treat me like an idiot. Lol, and that's the story of why I havent seen an OB in a decade. (I have seen the OBGYN NP, so I'm not totally neglecting my health).
Sorry that OB was so disrespectful to you. I didn’t take my temp but I too have very regular cycles and can tell when I’be ovulated, plus not having sex that frequently also helps… it worked for me for 3.5 years til I was ready to get pregnant again. The day I conceived I was thinking to myself, well it’s pretty likely the journey has begun again! Lol. Due in March!
Nobody should treat you badly like that. Period (no pun intended). That said, I get why the doctor was skeptical. Every single person I know who did the FAM method got pregnant when they were trying to prevent it. If you really don’t mind the higher chance of getting pregnant with that method versus something like LARC (long acting reversible contraception), then I say go for it. But I wouldn’t. My mental health and the mental health of my whole family would suffer if we had another child. It’s not worth the risk to me. I say even using a diaphragm or condoms is better for most folks than FAM, if you really can’t stand hormonal contraception. Or a copper IUD. But nobody should treat you like that. Ever. I’m sorry your doctor was so disrespectful. 😢
Yes I agree as well this is probably an okay method. We attempted as well by first tracking my cycle for an entire year while still using condoms. Unfortunately, we learned that I had underestimated how irregular my cycle can be. Best candidates for this method have consistent cycle lengths. Mine could vary by up to 2 weeks sometimes. Too much variation. But more couples, with discipline, could probably try and be fine. Not recommended if an accidental pregnancy is not something you can deal with at all...
@@michby a lot of couples are not good candidates for this. You need to have a consistent cycle and you need to understand it very well. It takes a lot of discipline too... It is not a surprise that it fails more often. You are obviously better off with a hands off approach. Many couples that want to conceive end up doing a similar form of tracking because they really want to know when their chances are highest.
I think they should ask if a patient has had sex in the last 10 months. If yes, proceed to pregnancy test. Or don't ask and just do the pregnancy test. Even if I tell the nurse and doc I know I'm not pregnant and they should believe me because I listed 3 forms of birth control with 1 being 100% effective, they still make me do a pregnancy test. It's annoying, but people lie to their nurses and doctors all the time and ruin it for the rest of us.
Absolutely not. Just doing a pregnancy test on everyone regardless of their wishes is such a massive violation. I would never go to a doctor if they did a pregnancy test as a standard regardless of anything else. And I have absolutely reported doctors who have done one without my consent.
I heavily resented being forced to take a pregnancy test before every gynecology appointment even if we were just talking. There was nothing that would be putting an embryo or fetus at risk, because there were no procedures or scans or other tests being done. I told them it had been months and a couple periods - and one of their pregnancy tests - since I last had had sex with anyone, but they insisted. It felt like either rigid inflexibility or a power play.
At least 20+ years ago, working as an EMT in a fairly rural area, my service was called to a "pregnant woman in labor". While en route to the hospital, she exclaimed, "I don’t know how I got pregnant! We used peanut butter!"
This "not asking the right questions" thing can get quite hilarious. Once, my interaction with a doctor taking my medical history included the following exchange: - Do you use contraception? - No. - I mean, including condoms. - No. - Any children? - No. When she was done taking my history, she basically went on a tirade about eating and exercising and unhealthy habits, and also contraception and STI prevention. When she got to that part, I tried - and failed - to interrupt her to say I wasn't having any sex.
as an afab trans masc person, I really appreciate the way you include all the people that you're trying to include. Not weird, but not forgetting about us either. Just, a small thing that you do really well, thank you.
There's an 11 year gap between me and my next oldest brother and someone said "someone got their iud removed" when I mentioned it. So I finally asked my mom about it and nope all 5 of her pregnancies were conceived using spermicide. They just got lucky for 11 years lamo. But they weren't "risk adverse" as evidenced that she didn't get her tubes tied until after my younger brother. 😂
thank you so much for including the part about testosterone!! my doctor told me it doesn't work as birth control, but I know not everyone is being told that because I've heard from a lot of other trans men that they had no idea. It's an understandable misunderstanding! since for most people their periods will eventually stop, a surface level knowledge would lead one to believe that also means pregnancy isn't possible
35F who had a hysterectomy at 29 and they stilllllll ask me if there's any chance I could be pregnant. I haven't come up with an appropriately **hysterical** response yet.
If someone would ask me if I might be pregnant I can very confidently say: Nope, definately not. Due to menstrual issues I got an hormonal IUD placed in 2022. As this was not doing the trick I am also taking hormonal contraception orally. On top of that, I am not sexually active. I had gynacologists tell me I will change my mind about not wanting children. I am pretty sure that children are not going to happen on this kind of regiment, but I do have an agreement with my GP. If I would get pregnant anyway he will leave his job and we will write a book. I totally get that the pregnancy question is necessary for specific medical procedures. I am very sure that me not wanting children is a thing a doctor should never invalidate.
6:33 yep I recently noticed that I sometimes confused my ovulation spotting for my period starting since my period isn’t very consistently spaced, so while I don’t have sex it would probably be easy to confuse the ovulation blood for period blood if you have inconsistent periods and are trying not to get pregnant by avoiding the fertile window.
Love the way you prefer to ask "is there any possibility you could be pregnant?" by talking about periods, but also if you're engaging in sex with someone who could get you pregnant. I sometimes think my notes need a big mark up the top, because I've had a full hysterectomy, and while I'm 35 so I'm still in prime needing to ask that question territory, once I answer, I then always get "and what was that for?" even when doing something like having xrays for intra-articular hip injections. Which feels like none of their business. It was for endometriosis that had me on palliative care levels of opiate painkillers, and robbed me of my 20s - my osteo xray tech doesn't need that info. Your phrasing would work much better for me, and would've saved me time even before the hysterectomy, as my spouse is not someone who could possibly get me pregnant, even when I had all the equipment necessary. And it can feel so weird when you're in your early 20s, having to out yourself to all your doctors, over and over, especially when you're one non-binary and one genderqueer person, so you're also trying not to use gendered language. At least once we were married we could just gesture to the ring and go "wife", instead of our doctors all telling our "friend" to leave the room.
Joke from Outlander: Claire: There is a word for people who depend on that particular method of birth control (withdraw method). Bree: What’s that? Claire: Parents
Conversation about how to ask gave me flashbacks! I was 18, I have Raynaud's and had been sat on the sofa with my foot under me, jumped up fast and didn't realise I didn't have a foot. When it wouldn't go down flat I tried to force it down... Ended up in a heap and crunched my ankle backwards. So off to A&E. Both my parents were working, my dad picked me up because he worked at the hospital but this was one of the rare shifts as a radiographer he wouldn't be able to be with me or do my x-ray. So, I've been examined, doctor comes back with the x-ray request form, goes through the questions and it goes like this... Dr: any chance you could be pregnant? Me: no Dr: really? Me: yes Dr: are you sure? Me: yes... Dr: how do you know? (Ok, so I'm already slightly amused/slightly irritated at the invasiveness of the questions, this really put my back up) Me: Well apart from being on the pill (he goes smug) I'm on The. Most. Effective. Contraception. Known. To. Man. Dr: (haha gotcha now face, full on snark) oh yeah. What's that then? Me: abstinence. The doctor did a literal about turn and walked out without a word! My dad would have had him if he'd been there because it's not how you ask (even 25 years ago) and was radiography's job not his.
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@MamaDoctorJones Why are condoms on that visual chart in the same category as "pulling out"? In pearl index is has 0,4 to 12, so only 7% of getting pregnant by right usage, and protect before se*ual diseases. Why there are these differences between USA and Europe in usage and information about condoms? In my feeling in USA is way less consciousness about se*ual diseases and the need of using regular condoms than in Europe. It seems to be all about birth control but nothing for other "dangers". Here in Germany for example every time it come to discussion it says use condoms to protect yourself, combine it with other STI protection or use it single but USE IT if your not in a long monogamous relationship. I am shocked because of the chart and need more background.
I'm guessing the last one's logic was: SPOILERS BELOW
Sucking out snake venom. I'm not anything medical, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work for that either.
Like how you explained the ovulation "without a period" thing. I hadn't had a period in several months (always had issues off and on when not on the pill) so I was dumb and thought I couldn't get pregnant. Then, next thing I know I was having morning sickness and tested positive. Turns out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Turns out I did eventually ovulate after months and just didn't turn into a period because it turned into a pregnancy instead. Thankfully all turned out very well
I always hate the question of "Is there any chance you could be pregnant" and I always say, "Yes" because I have sex with my husband who produces sperm. The staff usually act surprised like I'm saying I'm having unprotected sex... but I'm having sex while on birth control which isn't 100% effective so, yes, there's always a chance I could be pregnant. I'm fine with them running tests just to confirm I'm not before any procedure or whatever- totally fine- but don't get a surprised face when someone tells you "yes" because honestly, more people should be saying yes to you than not
Exactly!
I had a similar experience when my answer had been, "probably not because the pregnancy test was negative 2 weeks ago" - I wore extra stuff for the x ray, and I had not been pregnant
My mom told me they used the pull out method, and the fact she was telling her daughter this was the proof it's not that effective.
To be fair that's what my husband and I have used for 19 years and only got pregnant when we were trying because my periods are super regular and we use protection in the "fertile window".
Pull out method worked for me until i actually wanted a child my periods change by 2-3 days each month if they dont pull out before pre cum then pull out wont work at all really
A knew someone who tried this method with her bf, the dude did not, in fact, pull out on time💀
Lol, my parents too. Though they called it the rhythm method but when I confirmed they meant pull out. And well, jokes on me, since my partner and I started using both when my birth control pills started making me sick, 9 months off the pill and I'm pregnant. What do you call a couple who uses the rhythm/pullout method? Parents! It's ok, we weren't very risk adverse and were moving in that direction anyway. We're actually really stoked!
🤣
Two weeks ago I went into labor and it progressed so quickly I ended up having my baby on my bathroom floor. My sister caught her while my partner was on the phone with emergency services. I only ever watched your I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant videos for entertainment, but in the moment I was so glad I had seen them. I remembered what you said, kept calm, took the baby to my chest and left the cord alone. I did know I was pregnant, but I never planned for a birth outside of a hospital! We are all doing great now, thanks so much for your instructions.
Wow congratulations and well done! I hope everyone is happy and healthy❤️
Yeah those videos must have been very helpful😅
Wish you all the best
Congratulations! And yay for knowing how to handle it! Hope you're doing well
Congratulations! And incredible how you managed to do that!
Congratulations!!!! ❤️ 🎉 You are a freaking superhero 👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻 Glad you both are doing well!
My youngest sibling was born like that! I was sent to get grandma and the fire department. It really can happen so fast. Congratulations and im happy your all safe!
I got pregnant right after a miscarriage without a period in between. We were very much trying, so it was good news. I'm having a C-section in less than a week, wish me luck!
Good luck! Hope all goes well
Good luck!
God bless! Stay safe! 🥰🙏🏻
Good luck mama! Sending positivity your way!!!!
wishing you and your family the best!!
DOCTOR JONES YOU ARE LITERALLY THE FIRST PERSON TO EXPLAIN THE PERIOD SEX CONCEPTION LOGIC TO ME IN A WAY THAT DID NOT LEAVE ME WITH MORE QUESTIONS
SOME women can also ovulate more than once a cycle. As the good Doctor was quick to point out, there's lots of variation!
In college I had a friend who'd graduated who was denied birth control from her doctor "you may be engaged, but you're not married yet! I give you an Rx 3 months before your wedding date" and so she'd only have sex from post ovulating (by temp and mucus observation) to the 1st day of bleeding. Welp, that didn't work. Her mom told her they had a family history of double ovulation, that is twice in a cycle.
Holy crap, what a shitty Doctor! :( You're engaged but not married yet? What the hell? Policing that couple's sex life is no one's job--certainly not the doctor's! Sheesh!
I have a 25-25 day cycle with 6 day perios and ovulate at day 8, so I had to be aware of that when trying to conceive and trying to not conceive.
@mwater_moon2865 her doctor is not a good doctor
This exact explanation + chart with more details was part of my biology curriculum when I was 14 (France). It's mind boggling to me that this is not common knowledge / systematically taught to teens.
at the moment I am trying the being single and a lesbian method and it works fine so far :)
as long as you are careful with any transbian flings you will be fine. Gonadectomies are common enough in said population and 100% effective if you see physical evidence
@@TH-camUserAnonthe thing to watch out for is someone who is producing low quality sperm because of anti-androgens.
Fellow single person here, the aro ace method for me has been amazing so far 😂😂
@@cyndrigaming Same here. It's really such a simple and easy methode to follow, absolutely beautiful ;P
I've used the Bein Same Sex Married Method for 13 years. 0% failure rate. Highly recommend.
And it's free!
My junior high health teacher told us that if we were going to be sexually active and we didn't want to get pregnant, we should use 2 forms of birth control. Sounds like some of these people could have used that advice.
Ours told us to use one form of birth control and one form of STI prevention, and we were probably good. 😂
Condoms used with
a birth control pill, or depo shot, or and implant.
2 forms of birth control
1) condoms
2) any other type of birth control
Even then I know people where it's gone wrong
@@Tiredmumyeah, there is only one method that is failproof and this is not doing it or you are in a same sex relationship. But using at least one type of contraception is better than those girls believing that pulling it out or breastfeeding or flushing her lady parts with soda afterwards would prevent pregnancy. Can't believe we talk about this outside of a poor developement country.
I always use condom and the pill. There is 0% want for a baby. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing too much, but I rather be safe than sorry 😭
My dad told me this story of his medical rotation in the ER in West Virginia: The couple was young, and out on a date when she starts spontaneously vomiting, a lot. He panics, rushes her to the ER. Several hours later, the doc tells them, "You are aware that you are four months pregnant, right?" She was not, in fact, aware of this, and responded by grabbing the young man by his collar and repeatedly punching him in the face while screaming "You son of a b****, YOU SAID THE BAGGIE WOULD WORK!"
They had used sandwich bags as condoms. It took three grown men to get her off of him, and she broke his nose, blackened both eyes, knocked out two teeth and fractured his jaw before they did.
Clif Notes version: unexpected pregnancy leads to extensive facial injuries in foolish young man.
@@naomihatfield3015 they are both at fault 😂, why did she trust that would work?
How young is young? What type of sex education did she have, if any? Was the young man older than the young woman? She could easily have believed him if she hadn't had any sex education.
@@jacquelyns9709 if that were the situation it would be the parents fault for not providing sex Ed, I mean is not difficult, just say " if you want to have sex use condoms" but as well, the fact that a man told her to use a plastic bag as a condom... That's incredible ignorant even for a man
@Framokamc
Well, OP stated this took place in West Virginia, soooo...
I think it's a safe to assume that neither the man nor the woman in that story had any type of sex education, only someone telling them, "Don't have sex until after you get married kids!" 🙄🤦♀️
What else would you expect from WV? 🤷♀️
@jacquelyns9709
So OP mentioned that this happened in West Virgin...now what do you think they were being taught there? 🤔
(And if you said, "well nothing!" I think you would be correct my friend. The only thing certain states ever tell their kids is, "Now don't have sex until after you are married, ok kids!?" It's incredibly shameful and really needs to be stopped.)
I was checking in for an appointment and the tablet asked me my form of birth control. “Coitus interuptus” is what they called the pull out method 😆
Because that's the official term
That sounds like some magic spell
I feel really awkward knowing we use this method very often as well as condoms. 10 months later I luckily never got pregnant. 😂 btw my partner is reliable, and he told me pre-ejaculation fluid is nothing like the real thing, especially when it comes to sensation. And he pulls out very soon before the end. Not every partner is reliable though, it requires practice. 😅 Anyways, never use this method if getting pregnant is a way too scary option for whatever reason. We could raise a baby, so...
@@MyLittleEdelweiss Just because someone is experienced, doesn't mean you won't get pregnant. It's good that you're okay if you do get pregnant, but don't get too confident with this method.
@@MyLittleEdelweiss you do know that pre-ejaculation can still contain sperm though, right? So, there's still a possibility to get pregnant just from it even if using the withdrawal method. So, I personally would not rely on it at all if not trying to get pregnant.
When she said, “come again,” I literally choked on my own spit I laughed so hard. 🤣 your editors get a win for that last TikTok.
"I mean, don't but..." 😂
DONT COME AGAIN 💀💀😭
The fact that Irish twins and large French Catholic families exist prove that it is FULLY possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding. My grandmother had 8 kids in 10 years AND her husband worked away half the year so… ya know math means she was pregnant pretty quick after her babies were born 😂
Was she breastfeeding
The breast feeding thing apparently depends on the woman and on the method of breast feeding wether it works or not. I wouldn't rely on it.
@@mysterygirl-xt4ic she had to, they lived in the middle of nowhere where and no one was around that could have been a wetnurse. Maybe in a pinch they used cow milk but my mom says as much as she remembers her mom was breastfeeding . The only reason her parents stopped at 8 was that her dad got sick and was in hospital when she was a teenager😂 my grandmother always told me she always thought she would have 10 kids like most of the women in our family so she figured she lucked out at only 8.
When I was very young, I asked my dad how you get babies. He said, "Well, in your mother's case, all it takes is a warm smile and a hearty handshake."
My mother had the first 3 of us 7 offspring in 25 months and 18 days, even though she only had one fallopian tube and ovary.
I hate that more people do know that only having one is not an Infertility diagnosis. I have heard a story of a iui tech refusing to do a round of sperm because the patient was “ovulating on the side without the tube”- and it needed to be “the same side”. - the tubes are like lil tentacles they will move towards the ovulating overly
Please debunk Pam Stenzel's MISINFORMATION about abortion, birth control, STI's and Girdasil in "Sex has a price tag". Apparently A LOT of kids heard this in US schools
Gawd, she's such a creep.
We heard about it in school! Should should honestly just play MDJ videos for sex education.
I saw that video in 2013! My teacher was only allowed to teach abstinence-only curriculum.
@@smoothiechick96 good
@@smoothiechick96 Same here, Pam Stenzel videos were the only sex ed I got in Christian school in 2014. It's shocking to me that she still has a platform after all these years of spreading fear and misinformation.
As a lab tec, i have seen post vas samples with more swimmers then some no vasectomy samples so definitely do your follow ups and read and follow those instruction very carefully.
Came here to say this, 🤣
We were so careful after my husband's. My uncle had a post vasectomy baby. He went in to the doctor and they checked his count and were like yeah you're definitely still fertile.
I know two people who had post-vasectomy babies!
This. People looked at me like I was crazy when I went in for a bilateral salpingectomy, instead of my husband going for a vasectomy. I was like, do you know the failure rate of vasectomies vs salpingectomies?!
I’m glad you addresses the issue with the question “is there any chance you are pregnant?” As a woman with anxiety and who is very detail focused, I always struggle to say “no,” because, I mean, there is a chance. I take my birth control at the same time every day, but I know that’s not 100% foolproof.
The answer is yes then. The answer should only be no if you are not sexually active with someone who can get you pregnant.
I think it is normal to worry about being pregnant for a moment when there’s no chance you could be. I remember as a 14yo and wondering why my period was late. I’d wonder if I was pregnant despite being a virgin at the time. 😂
@@samanthac.349 Stress is what usually makes it late if you're not pregnant. Either that, or obesity.
@@arrowverselover100 at 14 years old? It's not stress, it's normal for the first couple of years.
@@lenakohl2339 1, you are not her, so you do not know her. 2, you don't know how old she was when she got her period, and 3, you don't know her home and life situation. Don't go around making assumptions. One day it'll get you in a lot of trouble.
Please talk about Karissa Collins' DANGEROUS MISINFORMATION! She's pregnant with her 11th CHILD. She only has "free births" with NO MEDICIAL PROFESSIONALS ALLOWED! She praises free birthing to her 1.5 million followers. She said: "I have almost died a few times. I am posting a video about this soon. I would most def give my life yo bring about more. 😍"She belives in "biblical fasting" while PREGNANT.
Her child almost died from sepsis TWO TIMES because of untreated UTI's.
God "told her" to not vaccinate her kids.
This is horrific and wildly irresponsible. I've never heard of her but thanks for asking MDJ to address this.
Yo, MDJ commentary on fundie quiver full nonsense would be great! This first couple in the vid are Mormon, I think and have a podcast where they basically hate each other.
So she's willing to die and leave her kids without a mom!? That's so messed up, it's all messed up but that's just cruel.
She needs social services/cpa on her! 😱 wtaf!!!!
thats just disturbing
Could we change the question, "Any possibility that you are pregnant?" To two questions:
- Are you currently sexually active?
- Are you having sex with someone who can get you pregnant?
Edit: It seems I need to adjust these questions and add one or two more so let's try these:
1) Have you had sex in the last 9 months?
2) Are you having sex with someone who could get you pregnant?
3) What methods of birth control are you using?
4) Are you currently undergoing fertility treatments?
Again, this is addressing the problem of people not understanding the base question of "Any possibility you could be pregnant?" It often gets confused with "Are you currently experiencing any pregnancy symptoms?" In people's minds. I'd much rather have my providers ask more questions to ensure they get a more accurate answer, than one question they are going to roll their eyes at when it turns out the patient was wrong.
The second would be enough, wouldn't it? 😅
that's the question I was asked before getting out of the educational system. Then it was "any chance you are pregnant?" or worse "are you pregnant? are you sure?" YES I'm SURE I've been trying to conceive, and I know for sure my last negative hCG was relevant 😭"
@@SaheeliRai some people aren't currently having sex, or haven't recently enough that they could be pregnant so you can just stop after they say they haven't had sex.
Lol, yeah, the "any chance you are pregnant" always makes me laugh because the answer is yes. I'm still ovulating, and my spouse whmith whom I'm active has a vasc, but life happens, so the possibility for 2 weeks every month is not zero.
Other times, when they ask about taking BC and I say I dont take anything, they always get confused. How can I be SA, clearly not menopausal, and not on BC and yet tell them there's no chance of pregnancy? I let them flouder for a moment before I mention the vasc.
Lol, medical community could ask better questions.😂
Does seminal fluid get anywhere near your vaginal opening?
People generally assume a vasectomy makes it "impossible" to get pregnant.
Backdoor action should be safe but depending on the deposit site those swimmers can slip & slide to an egg.
I hate the sideways looks I get when I say no to “any chance you could be pregnant”. Like it’s impossible for them to believe that a woman in her 30s has always practiced celibacy when I tell them I’ve NEVER been sexually active. But Noooo, I get the side eye of “sure you have. Heard that one before and she was 3 months pregnant…and a nun”. It makes me want to shout “I have no reason to lie to you, medical professionals, about this! It’s not like you’re my priest. I really am in layman’s terms a virgin. Now stop acting so surprised and treating me like a lying harlot and tell me what’s wrong!”
There are lots of reasons for someone to practice celibacy and I support everyone’s right to choose what they do with their own bodies. Whether it’s to have sex or abstain. You do you, but respect other people’s choices, and listen to what they are telling you and believe them.
I’m glad you feel comfortable around medical professionals on the topic. Unfortunately, not everyone is, and I think they’ve been burned too frequently to act otherwise. When someone is pregnant, it affects the care, particularly with medications and tests involving radiation, so they don’t want any surprises and to have a potential lawsuit on their hands.
There are women who have never had sex and are virgins. When I was in my late 20s/ early 30s, a doctor told me I should masterbate to make gynecology exams easier for the doctor to do. He said this as I was leaving the exam room. I was shocked and highly offended. He should have had a serious discussion about this, not say a flippant remark.
"I am 100% positive that I am not pregnant. If you would like to run a test for your peace of mind, fine, but I will not be billed for it."
They are trying to err on the side of caution. Being treated as a pregnant patient won't harm anyone but treating as not pregnant could cause harm.
ERs nearly always run one, jtbs.
I feel this frustration. Not for the same reason but for one that is pretty outrageous to hear nowadays. From my early teens to now (currently late 20's) I have only ever had one partner and vice versa for him. We've been teen sweethearts going on 16 years now. Anytime I get asked the question "How many partners have you been with in the past so and so time period?" and I answer only 1 for my entire sexually active life, they give me a look like "Uh huh, sure. I've heard that one before." I understand there's probably a bunch of young women out there that make up that lie all the time but, just as you state, what reason would I have to lie to you? I just want to figure out what's wrong in the fastest and easiest way possible for both of us so quit your judging and help me.
I'm sorry you have to go through that every time you're asked that question in the doctor's office. You are not alone in that frustration at all I assure you.
Fun fact: If you reply "I'm not attractive enough for anyone to have sex with me." They don't question it at all. They just go "Oh, okay. Um... next question."
And yes, I still suffer from self esteem issues. And I'm sure I upset quite a few nurse practitioners when getting basic tests done with my incredibly sad response as a teen. I still remember the radiology tech's face who was stunned speechless and eventually just muttered "Oh dear."
I like the way you phrased the "could you possibly be pregnant" questions, because ive had several dr encounters that go like "are you sexually active?" and i say yes, and they ask "are you using contraception" and i say no i dont need to, and they look shocked until i say im a lesbian, they always just assume that sex = possible pregancy its so annoying
Came here to say the same thing!
I’m not sexually active at all, and I WAS pregnant (IVF/donor bub). Confused the heck out of some doctors when they did their weird roundabout questions! 😂
Agreed!!!
I had a nurse ask "is there any chance you are pregnant?" and when I said no, she marked both the "not sexually active" AND the "not pregnant" boxes. I had to stop her and tell her that I was sexually active, I just was with a woman at the time. It's really frustrating.
I hate being asked if I'm pregnant, and when I say bo I get asked if I'm sure. Yeah I'm pretty sure that not having sex for about 20 years means I'm in the clear thanks.
Both my kids were conceived on my period. Same for my Mom and her Mom. We all ovulate right at the end of our period ls and it may not be fully stopped when we ovulate. I've had so many people tell me you cannot get pregnant on or just after your period. Like no. You can for both.
And sperm could live around 5 days. Sometimes less, sometimes more. That plus uncertain time of ovulation makes calendar method really bad contraceptive. But it's a good method to conceive babys, if it's the goal 😅
@Nice_Tree yup. My Mom told me a saying she was taught by my grandma, "you can have sex on Friday night and get pregnant on Sunday during morning mass." I'm not religious myself so I've rephrased it for my daughter but it still gets the idea across. Sperm typically lives about 3-5 days before it dies and/or gets removed by the immune system. (My Mom also taught me that despite what diagrams often depict, it's not a closed system. She taught me how ectopic pregnancies while most often, don't just happen inside the fallopian tubes, but can't sometimes impact elsewhere outside the reproductive system.)
Ye I thought that was how it worked lol, so on the last day is when we tried for baby and baby came!
I appreciate the trans masc representation. The number of potential partners that have assumed bc I am on T I can’t get pregnant is scary. Personally, I am not willing to take that chance! Luckily now I have had a hysterectomy so I am significantly less stressed about that concern!
Can't say I'm surprised about people thinking that, an old law in Finland stated that trans people had to be sterile (it didn't need to be permanent but still) in order to get their gender changed in the legal system, and so many people, even some sort of fertility experts, claimed that after a year on HRT everyone will become sterile so why bother changing the law requiring it. Luckily laws have changed recently and it's no longer needed.
I do think it also needs to be said for transfemme individuals that estrogen also isn't 100% effective as a birth control method, this is even more commonly believed than the testosterone myth.
I read a story about a woman who had a hysterectomy but still had her ovaries that got pregnant... wild stuff. Though she did have an intact cervix...
@piperevelyn2446 yeah, the older trans laws in many European countries are absolutely dehumanising
@@astralb.2647 yeah when I was discussing surgery with my doctor I was like “ideally I’d like all of it removed so there’s literally no chance of pregnancy ever”, so that’s what we went with.
Significantly less stressed? Surely you don't need to worry at all now?
One of my old high school friends was told by her doctor that she couldn't get pregnant soon after giving birth/while breastfeeding, which was how she got pregnant with twins two months after her daughter was born. Personally even with all the caveats I'd be too leery to try it
Those Doctors should be called out honestly. A school mate of mine was having a hormonal imbalance where she was lactating a bit (galactorrea) and apparently her Gyno told her it would stop her from getting pregnant (or that’s what she claims) That’s how she became a single mom a few months later 🤦🏻♀️
It's a terrible idea to rely on breastfeeding as contraception - unless you want a baby of course!😅 Every woman's body is different so it's a roll of the 🎲
Idk why they even say it anymore most of us personally know someone who got pregnant while breastfeeding
I have a brother 11 months younger than me, and VERY much not planned!
Wow. Where did this doctor get his/her medical license? Shortly after the 6 weeks postpartum appointment my doctor made it clear, that I can get pregnant. He even said, my body is mostly regenerated and I can get my period again. He explained, that breastfeeding isn’t a birth control method and I can get the pill.
I really appreciate your take on communication -- it's part of your job as the professional to make sure that what you are saying or asking is properly understood. I spent years writing technical documentation professionally (engineering not medical, but the same concept applies). Too many of my colleagues took the Humpty Dumpty approach: “When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean-neither more nor less”. This is bound to lead to misunderstanding. You have the gift of being not only an excellent doctor, but an excellent communicator. Thanks for all you do.
I am loving your Humpty Dumpty reference, he’s one of my fave characters from Through The Looking Glass! What a snide attitude he has lol.
I love that you get too excited to educate to watch the clip, and just jump right in as soon as you hear the prompt 😂
11:39 as a uterus owner who is also in possession of The 'Tism™, i do appreciate the specificity of the questions lol
As a Momma of 2 kids on the spectrum(1 boy 1 girl) I fully understand this statement 😂
same, for me this was never a yes or no question but a "well actually"
Is 'tism' a reference to ASD/ASC?
@Reticence9zen924 yes, it's slang for Autism, both my ASD teens say the same thing
as someone who has adhd i too am grateful for the specifics! it makes me able to not worry about maybes and actually understand the questions therefore answer correctly rather than out of guessing and hoping it was right
My husband and I were trying to get pregnant and not having any luck, so did the tests and found my husband had low/no motility, and eventually we decided that we were going to stop trying/not pursue invitro etc. and the next day I made an appointment to get an IUD put in. I am very risk adverse and I did NOT want a surprise pregnancy. Even though the doctors said it would be nearly impossible for us to get pregnant without help, I have heard too many stories of people getting pregnant when they stopped trying and I didn't want that lol
That happened to a classmate of mine.
I thought your story was going to end with you getting pregnant after all. 😂😂😂
I'm one of those stories here, though we didn't technically stop, quite the opposite, but still fitting.
My husband was perfectly fine, but I have PCOS (among other health issues) and we essentially couldn't get my body to ovulate. We tried hormone medication that would induce ovulation + HRT (estrogen gel + progesterone vaginal suppositories), accompanied with monthly ultrasounds (as in, I'd take 5 pills, 1 daily, from day 5 until day 10 of my cycle. On day 10, we'd perform an ultrasound to see if any "cysts" with eggs have grown/appear to be "ripe"). For 5 months, it never worked, nothing was happening, even though we slowly increased the dosage.
Even in August, I went in for my check up and was told that there was no particular activity, nothing stood out. By all appearances, that month was "another dud". So I took my HRT as usual, took my progesterone until 7 days after where my cycle was due (I generally had a long cycle and with progesterone, it did take longer to kick in) and did a pregnancy test as conformation for me to stop taking progesterone to force my period to kick in.
BOOM, I was pregnant. I am now almost 13 weeks along, after all the issues we had and after being told it wouldn't happen that month. We were THIS close to looking into IVF or similar and suddenly it worked. The baby is growing normally and everything is perfectly fine.
What I'm trying to say is that the body is really weird and even if you think that you're definitely not going to get pregnant, it can still happen somehow (be it a positive or negative thing for each individual).
PS: I was also a surprise baby, my mum was taking the birth control pill and still got pregnant with me because it failed :) She then struggled for years to get pregnant again, when she wanted a second child.
@Windmelodie congrats to you I hope all goes well 😊
@@doftly Thank you, so far it's going perfectly normal so we hope it'll continue that way^^
I'm non-binary and OMG the stupid things I've been told **by medical "professionals"** about periods and pregnancy is absolutely insane. (For context- I've never been sexually active so there's been a 0% chance my entire life)
-As a teenager I had a nurse ask me if my last period started within the last 30 days. It hadn't, so I said no. Only to then be told "So you're pregnant". I looked at the nurse like they had three heads, and after several seconds of trying to figure out WTF to answer said "Excuse me? What???". Only to be very condescendingly "informed" that "if it's been more than 30 days since your last period started you are pregnant". Yeah, it had been 31 days since my last period started, and only 15 since it ended (yes, you did the math right, that's 16 days of bleeding). My periods ranged from 16-60 days apart, and 8-16 days long, 31 days was nothing to me.
-In an ER because my migraine was going haywire. A migraine I'd had for 1.5 years. I asked for the meds my doctor usually gives me (I couldn't wait to get in there sadly due to vomiting, I was already badly dehydrated), only to be told I couldn't have them, "because they would kill the baby". The what??? "The baby, you're pregnant" (note-the nurse had literally just taken blood and urine for testing, leaving after he entered the room, so he was basing this off only my nausea, which is an insanely common migraine symptom). I stated I wasn't and had never had sex, only for him to point at my partner and say "Yes you have". He ended up "informing" me, after the tests came back all negative (obviously), that I was pregnant with "pregnancy migraines" (not a thing), and that my tests were negative "because you're too early". 1.5 years, YEARS, he was saying twice the length of human pregnancy was too early to test. And the meds he was denying me? Zofran and magnesium. Aka a common morning sickness med and med used to treat preeclampsia. It does not kill fetuses, and it certainly doesn't kill non-existent ones.
-Post hysterectomy, this one was....interesting. And by "interesting" I mean someone lost their job. I was in my neurologists infusion center and had literally just finished telling the nurse about my hysterectomy (I was showing symptoms that didn't make sense with why I was there), and her next question was "When was your last period?". Ummm, what, were you paying any attention to me? I just said "Hysterectomy", and was told it didn't matter if I'd had a hysterectomy, I needed to tell her the date of my last period so she would know if I was pregnant. Not "might be", "was", that's not how periods work. It was at this point I see the supervisors head emerge from behind the desk in increasing levels of horror. However he let her keep going, because he knew me well enough by then to know I could handle it, and that I would call him in if I needed. This travesty of a conversation went on for a few more minutes, only for her at the end to say "Ok, I'll go get your IV supplies". Yeah, how about not. I pointed over her shoulder (he was standing behind her at that point) and said "No, someone else is gonna do that and you're gonna go talk to [supervisors name]". I was her last patient, a new nurse was assigned to me, and, after redoing the safety check, set up my IV.
Wow each of those situations sound like absolute nightmares! I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so many awful healthcare “professionals”
@probably_notbob5794 yep, I've sadly encountered many very not professional medical providers. Like to PTSD levels, which is ridiculous. These are just the worst of the period related stories.
Literally a coworker was having hormonal issues along with many other health issues and her husband had gotten a vasectomy years ago. She hadn’t had a period in like 2-3 yrs so the doctors all thought she was going thru early menopause.
She got treatments for her health issues and started getting her period again. This kinda made her nervous since they weren’t practicing safe sex because he was clipped right?
On a whim, she asked him to get tested. His vas deferens grew back and he was shooting live rounds again. Apparently there’s a procedure where the dr burns the vas deferens up 6 inches so that’s it’s unlikely to regrow. But it’s NOT impossible!!!
They’re back to condoms now. 😬
Wow. I had no idea that could happen.
I can’t wait until the Adam gel is approved.
Yeh that happened to my dad's bestie and his wife. She was 49 when she had their last kid!
Apparently it’s not common enough to mention? But yah, she at least had the forethought to get that tested when she was potentially fertile.
I got pregnant while breastfeeding without having had a period. didn’t mind because I was married and planning to have more children. But it was ectopic and miscarried, possibly because I was not fully recovered from a difficult labor
As a trans man, thank you for including us! Also when i started my Testosterone treatment, the nurse didnt know i was trans. She asked, "Are you trying to get pregnant?" And i said "God no" after some confusion and explaining on my part, she said, "be very careful when having sex with someone who can get you pregnant. Testosterone alone is not a good birth control" i thanked her and told her i wasnt planning on having any sex with anyone. (Im demisexual with no partners) 😂
I’m proud of both of you for taking through the confusion and glad she provided you with accurate info!!
Yes!!! I actually didn't know what to say when doctors ask, "is there any chance you're pregnant" because yes, if I'm having sex but also on birth control there still is a chance but like really low and also I don't have regular periods which makes it even less likely. I always answered "technically, yes there is a chance" even though I knew the chance was low. But this also seemed to exasperate the doctors when I said it so I have no idea. I could have been reading too much into their reactions though because I have anxiety and probably some form of neurodivergence.
id just say im on bc and let them work it out
I'm glad I'm not the only one over thinking how to answer that lol.
This is how I answer most questions lol I believe I'm neurodivergent as well 😅
This works very different where I live, once I was very sick to the point that my immune system wasn't working, a doctor requested an STD test to verify if there was some viral infection attacking my immune system, when they were going to take the blood test they asked if I was pregnant, I literally said " no, I'm on BC" and that was all, no pregnancy nor STD since I have only been with my bf, I wasn't worried at all, I just wanted to be healthy since I was sick for months 😂😂😂
I'd guess you could say "No, unless my birth control failed". I usually answer "No unless there's been a miracle" (Husband had a vasectomy after 5 pregnancies with 4 living kids.)
patient perspective: my husband answers for me in quite a few contexts. I tend to shut down in medical facilities becuase I have a few chronic conditions that were overlooked dispite my attempt to get treatment for years so I don't always give the best info. I also have a bad memorie and hearing issues so having him talk when I don't feel good is often far easier for me then putting myself through the stress of doing it myself. There's actually quite a few good reasons it might be happening. Just wanted to offer another perspecitve.
I have MS, and am one of those patients who got eye rolls from my doctors in the 10 years it took to get a diagnosis, I even had my husband asked to "step out" so I could tell the nurses all the horrible ways he must be abusing me that were quite literally just my body tearing itself apart. (Severe severe severe spams with my MS more than weakness)
So i can sometimes be a 'hostile' patient, and my husband knows the warning signs and will take over answering for me. Doctors and nurses have 2 chances at this point to irritate me before I lose it. 1 chance if they really mess up. And especially if I am not feeling well, and if I have a migraine, my husband doesn't even wait to just talk for me. I truly am normally a very good patient, a very understanding patient, I get it, my body failed anatomy 101, I didn't, but my body did lol. But if you are not a neuro, and especially one who deals with MS, you don't get to tell me "usually with MS" because if there was a "usual" it wouldn't take on average 5+ years to get a diagnosis.
When I hear the sickening shucking and pop sound that makes people in public panic because it sounds like a gun went off, you don't get to look at my xrays and determine its all good, I want my mri thank you because that's soft tissue damage.
When I tell you I am allergic to epi-pens, you don't get to tell me I CAN'T be because the body makes epinephrine. . But it doesn't make epi-pens, just like yeah it makes cortisol too, but not in a lab. So yes 1 strike against you is if I have to correct myself to "okay fine, I am allergic to all synthetic cortisols, but you think you know better fine give me a steroid shot in my vein and watch we swell up, seize and die if you think you're so much wiser, rub some of that cream on me and watch it swell up and turn baboon ass red since your 7 years of med school exceeds my 40+ years experience in this body.
Which is about the time the doctors or nurses look to my husband who just gives a shrug of you wanted her to explain not me.
I hate arguing with doctors and nurses, I hate being an irate patient, but I hate and have the least confidence in doctors and nurses who do not listen, do not read the chart before spouting off, and want to tell me what my body is and isn't capable of.
(Did have one doctor tell me there was no way I torn a tendon or ligament sitting on the couch from a muscle spasms, a few minutes later I was laughing my ass off through the pain because he dove for cover when my ankle popped as I was sitting there on the exam table, he saw the muscle knot up under the skin and then just slurp POW!!! like a gun shot. Got an mri immediately of my ankle and yep 2 torn tendons. I was prescribed another muscle relaxant in addition to the 8 I was already taking at the time)
@@namaking3993 MS also ended up being what I was diagnosed with. Doctors can just be the worst
@@namaking3993 Allergies can be strange sometimes. A relative went on blood pressure meds and went anaphylactic. Went to the ER, was given steroids as a take home prescription to chill things out. Turns out she's anaphylactic to those too. She wasn't diagnosed with MS but it has been brought up many times throughout the years. Had a presentation straight out of my nursing school textbooks, but it still took her 3 years to get diagnosed with psoriasis. The GI doctor caught it (many of his patients have the same overlapping conditions) and helped her out before her incompetent dermatologist did. She's with a new one now.
That doctor has obviously never had a patient with EDS or on fluoroquinolones.
I LOVE that you trust you husband enough and he is committed enough to be there! After my mom had 5 'TIA' (mini strokes) I went in to all her Doc office visits with her. No one could tell just by casual conversation but her medical care often included changing medications. Some docs seemed confused why I was there but some were downright hostile! One was on the verge of claiming elder abuse because of a bruise- she was on bloodthinners. It was a real process to keep all meds straight so I wrote them down. I made it my business to ask the questions and to set up follow ups. She was perfectly capable of speaking for herself and she often did- I never discouraged her. But as her HISTORY and symptoms got longer, it was far easier for me to rattle them off to get each nurse up to speed- and then have Mom speak the current events. I knew she had cancer before the doc would consider it. I knew something was wrong when they sent the nurse in who had the wrong patient chart and was asking a bunch of questions she should have already had the answer to. They thought I just like to argue- but no- I just like my mom to have the correct medications and not die. Your ADVOCATE is YOUR CHOICE- not the doctor's!!
5:44 I really appreciate that you included trans/nonbinary people in this discussion about birth control. ❤
I'm "just" a cis woman (so boring 😋) and I'm soooooooooo happy each time I see inclusion like this. There are many very lovely people, who went through generations of struggles, without acknowledgement.
It warms my heart to see inclusion. Especially when a medical professional steps up to the task of making more room for a greater diversity of needs. A diversity that is humane and has existed all along.
Dr. Jones is awesome that way! :)
Same! Especially since that IS a common myth!
Yes! As a nonbinary person it is so healing to see us being discussed just like everyone else, without it being negative or dramatised. We're just people :)
Was gonna say! Love the inclusive language!
I’m on testosterone and have an implant in my arm, but check every month to see if I’m pregnant. Haven’t gotten a period in almost six months but I DO live in Florida, so gotta stay vigilant 😭
God iwas told i had to remove my implant but my doctors never put me on any contraceptives while i was on t, only the first 3 months to stop my periods 😅 idk how to tell them this was such a bad idea considering i told them i was sexually active, and he is the only doctor for trans people avaliable in my city😅
Just curious: do the hormones interact with each other?
Why are you on testosterone whilst on birth control?
Stay safe out there. Good luck & as they say in my country, good courage
Yeah I was put on birth control before they gave me testosterone(I was only on it for 9 months im nonbinary and I got the results I wanted without becoming too masc looking) I have the arm one too, I've gotten pregnant once in the past 3 years but I had a miscarriage like immediately after finding out I was barely 3 weeks pregnant, I check ever 2 weeks now lol
MDJ, have you ever considered making your own age appropriate sex ed videos for children and teens? I love your factually accurate info. My child is only 5 but I want to make sure I give her the best info possible as she grows because I certainly did not in my red state that teaches sex ed like the part on Mean Girls. It's even more pertinent to me since the Dobbs decision to ensure my child has as much knowledge about bodily autonomy as possible. So far we've only touched on real names for body parts and consent and I'd like guidance of where to go from here. Thanks for considering.
That's a great idea! It would be very helpful if the doctor would do a series of an age-appropriate sex talk videos for each age. It could be something a parent could watch for guidance or let the kid watch it.
Yes, my twelve year old has had comprehensive sex ed and more medically accurate education would be appreciated. Online it's either highly religious or too advanced.
This would be SO amazing! Maybe a Mama Dr Jones Kids channel...
My 76 year old mom makes me fill out any paperwork for her. The other day she had to go to the Dr. for some kind of scan. The patient information form asked "Is it possible for you to be pregnant? If no/ why not?"
(I had never seen it stated like that)
I told my mom I answered it "Because I only do anal" 😂
She was NOT amused!
🤭 I would have done that to my Mom too.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂@@momof1576
Lmao
That's one step away from just "Why are you not pregnant!"
DYING!!!! My kid would do that to me! Ha ha ha ha!
Thank you so much for including the section about testosterone! Especially for mentioning that nonbinary people take testosterone for gender affirmation. We're so often either completely erased or misrepresented in these conversations, so huge thank you for the inclusion here.
There is a vas deferens between children and no children.
I'll see myself out. ;)
😂😂😂
🤭
You suck 🤣
This is delightful!
Ah, medical dad jokes! 🤣
I am a trans man on testosterone and im in a ton of online support groups for trans men.
I am constantly telling trans men whose doctors did NOT tell them they still need birth control when on T if theyre having PIV sex, i *beg* them to tell their doctor to add it to their general advice when putting transmascs on HRT.
some doctors are incredibly irresponsible. The number of transmascs who dont know that T isnt contraception terrifies me.
A lot of ftm guys who finally get on T are so relieved and excited to finally be on T, they get euphoric. And in the excitement they completely overlook or slip into denial that yes, sir, you can still get pregnant. It's highly unlikely, but totally possible.
Some trans men are hyper aware of preventing any and all chance of pregnancy because of the potential dysphoria, while others just live in total denial of the risk. Trans people are human and unfortunately just as susceptible to everyday logical fallacies.
Speaking of logic fallacies, I suspect a lot of the doctors that see ftm patients just assume they're heterosexual? So they don't think their patient can get pregnant if they're bumping tacos with their gf/wife even thought trans men can be gay or bisexual or any other orientation
(Basically it's a series of failures that land some guys in very uncomfortable situations)
@@clueless_cutiePeople do often assume that all trans people are straight! And yeah, I do think that’s part of why trans people don’t get told about risks of pregnancy.
@@esperanceburning5666 even an extremely straight trans man could be boinking a trans woman
I love how inclusive and affirming your language is in all your videos!
That husband asking his wife if SHE was using birth control and then saying actions have consequences is nauseating. She was healing from giving birth and dealing with breast feeding and all the hormonal, emotional, and physical issues of giving birth and sustaining another human with her body. It should not have been solely up to her. HE WASN'T USING IT EITHER! He could have used a condom! Whether to use birth control and what form should have been a conversation and research for them both!!!!! A website is a start for doing more research into your choice, not a stopping point.
Ooh happy to see you talk about HRT not being a contraceptive, because in my country the one hospital that has a monopoly on transcare, INSIST it's IMPOSSIBLE to get pregnant while on HRT. Great video!! :>
The pull-out method seemed to work for us, because we never got pregnant. We were surprised how effective it was.
Then we tried and couldn’t conceive, even after I was on Clomid.
So yeah, pulling out is super effective if you’re actually infertile.
Things you only find out after trying to conceive! I always had to answer with a caveat when asked “are you gonna have kids someday?” Like I didn’t know I could until I tried!
Loved this, hubby has had a vasectomy after 2 kids but I love your vids, how inclusive your language is and how clearly you speak to your patients.
9:30 My husband has a background in chemistry and a microscope at home (and a touch of paranoia 😂) so he checks his vasectomy at home once a month
I see the same doctors regularly, but whenever I have to have a procedure they always ask if there's any chance I'm pregnant. Same with MRIs. I always laugh and say not unless its just floating around in there. My hysterectomy is in my medical records...that they either forget every time or don't bother looking at. Before that, I'd had a tubal, so my answer was always I better not be, or someone has some explaining to do.
When my sister was asked that she told them if she was, she wanted her money back.
@debrasedgwick4386 that's great! I love it lol.
My mom is the same. She had to have a total hysyerectomy due to a uterine prolapse so whenever doctors ask her if there's any possibility she could be pregnant she gets a kick out of it.
@lizard3755 I've heard of women having that happen before. I had my uterus removed in my 30s, after my tubal my periods were never the same. I went on bc to try and regulate them. Unfortunately, after more than 10 years it wasn't working anymore, and I was hitting an age where bc would add other health risks. I actually asked about ablation, my ob did an exam and said he didn't think I was a good candidate for ablation, so hysterectomy it was.
My mom had a tubal ligation but it didn’t take because of scar tissue from a childhood car accident. Lucky for me, but a surprise for her (she did have a miscarriage before me so she knew she was still fertile)
5:10 love that she calls him a seahorse dad ❤
That's such an awesome an beautiful word for it! Love it!
I just got that!
Abrupt ending @13:25 😅
Video-us interruptus.
Me yelling - WHEN?? WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEE US???😂😂😂
She will see us 👁️👁️
I WILL SEE YOU!
Love the emphasis on risk aversion cause that does feel like the part that is most important in deciding which form to rely on (besides personal medical history and risk levels from medication itself).
I think a really important caveat about the pull out method is that the 87% rate is if it's done right every time (basically right before ejaculation.) Not everyone knows their body well enough to be able to predict this and not everyone is actually WILLING to do this. If it's someone you're hooking up with for the first time, you don't know them well enough to rely on pulling out in time. It's also the tactic of crappy folks who just don't want to wear condoms to say they'll just pull out when it's time. Pulling out also doesn't prevent STIs from spreading the way condoms do!
I just wonder. What is the successrate of no birth control whatsoever compared to pulling out "done right".
And you can still get pregnant by the seem drop. So No, Just No. And in what world would you Like to Stop in between for that?
according to the planned parenthood website the withdrawal method is 96% effective when used perfectly and 78% with typical use.The 87% number I think is for typical use of condoms?
@@lou40786 you're right, I used the wrong number. (It turns out sleep is necessary for good thinking and communicating, who would have thought?) The perfect rate for condoms is 98% and for withdrawal it's 96%, but the ability for a contraceptive measure to work perfectly is very affected by the human aspect (bringing withdrawal down to 78%.) If I were in a position to be choosing my birth control I'd pick a condom any time for that extra protection and it's definitely important to stress the different numbers to people who are just learning about safer sex!
@@Freaky0Nina According to a fairly old blog post on PP it's 85 out of 100. Of 100 women followed for a year who did not use any birth control, 15 got pregnant. I'm also curious about how aware those studied/surveyed were of their ovulation and such. Time for another rabbit hole!
I’m due in December, and I had to explain to my husband that history is not a method of contraception. Meaning this is an IVF baby, and it took us four years to get pregnant. *However,* our official diagnosis is ‘unexplained infertility.’ So if the doctors can’t tell me why I had such a hard time getting pregnant, I’m not willing to assume it *can’t* happen just because it *hasn’t.*
Smart... I know people who had ivf babies and a surprise oops less than a year later.
Yes! A girlfriend of mine is one of these stories. Her and her husband tried for five years with all the fertility treatments and NOTHING. She got pregnant sans treatments in 2021, 2023, and is expecting baby #3 as we speak. 😅 Life is crazy and, like you said, history is not birth control. 😅
The mother's body is extra fertile after having a baby. It's also important to realize that you ovulate *before* your period, meaning your fertile before your period returns after birth. It doesn't come back at the same time for everyone.
@ Ovulation does happen before your period, but I don’t think there’s any actual evidence that the body is more fertile after birth. If anything, you’re less fertile for a few weeks up to a few months while the body puts a lot of energy into recovering, then fertility usually returns to baseline. Still not willing to bet on my baseline, though. Besides, I worked hard for those freezer babies. I want to use them. 😆
@ There is actually research on the last decade that shows higher fertility rates in the first few months after pregnancy or pregnancy loss. After pregnancy loss, it's also shown that the first few months carry the highest chance to conceive again and have a live birth.
Doctors used to tell women to wait a few months after a pregnancy loss before trying again. The recent research has many doctor changing that advice. Now, doctors in the know say the woman can try to conceive again as soon as her HCG is back to zero (or under 5). A woman cannot ovulate until her HCG goes all the way down. It takes a couple weeks for early pregnancy loss. It can take months for later pregnancy loss or after giving birth. Unless you're tracking your HCG down to zero after pregnancy (not a common practice), it can be hard to know when your HCG has gone all the way down and this when your fertility is returning.
My best friend is a NICU nurse. A lot of the babies she cares for in the NICU were conceived very shortly after a sibling was born. The risks are higher if the mother's body doesn't have a year (or better two) to recover from the previous pregnancy and birth. That's why so many of the NICU babies come from these situations. My friend warns people all the time that they're highly fertile after giving birth and that breastfeeding doesn't guarantee you won't ovulate.
Thank you for not kink shaming. It´s important that people feel that it´s okay to tell their doctors about what they are doing without the fear of being shamed.
Asking TikTok for birth control advice is well.....like asking a man on what it feels like to give birth.
Or going through Pregnancy
My husband will tell you his colds are worse than giving birth 😂😂
Asking Tik Tok for birth control advice is like asking your dog to explain spaceflight.
Is like asking a man to describe the female reproductive system 😂😂😂
*a cis man
When I was in middle school, one time my mom was doing sex ed talk for my friend*, and my friend was going through all of the non-standard contraception methods and myths, to know what works and what doesn't. One of the things she asked about was period sex, so my mom replied with a question "Do you think it works?", the friend said ofc it does, and my mom replied "If it did, we wouldn't have this talk, because Klaudia wouldn't exist" - and I'm like 💀💀💀 You could have told me first mom XD She didn't, because apparently she didn't think I needed the proof, since I belived her the first time she told me it doesnt work, but damn, way to learn precisely when and how you were made XDDD
*[she was raised only by her dad, who was quite neglectful and purposefully didn't do the talk of any sorts with her, so "she won't get pregnant before marriage", and every one of my friends loved my mom, so she sometimes would come to my mom with sex ed related questions]
I'm glad your friends had someone they could talk to. Even if your mom occasionally horrified you :)
Thank you for saying " if you're not risk adverse" because I was using pull out as primary means of contraception and ended up with a beautiful baby girl. It worked for years but always knew I was taking a risk 😂
As a highly risk averse person, people who are not risk averse make me feel anxious for them! I can't fathom a pregnancy being a "oh that happened" level of an oopsie when I'd be inconsolable XD
@@clueless_cutieI get that! There were times in my life where it would be devastating, but now I am secure romantically, financially, career wise, etc and want a kid but not yet urgently enough to "Try for A Baby" so I take the risk because, a pregnancy is not undesirable.
@@clueless_cutieit really depends where you are in your life. The main thing is to be aware of the risks and then it’s not such a surprise if something does happen.
And im so happy i got a hysterectomy. Got it 2 years ago at 24. I have one child and thats all i wanted. Now no more pain, and no chance of getting pregnant. Lets just say my labor was horrific. But if your period is lighter than usual, doesnt last as long, missed a period for a bit, etc please take a pregnancy test
10:35 I speak _up_ for my wife when at the doctors, and she relies on me for this because part of my 'tism is remembering all our medical information and random details about health concerns. Also, she gets panic attacks, so I fill in the role of communicating for her while a procedure is happening on the table. I would never step in and stop her from saying something to her doctor.
Lactational Amenorrhea is literally how I ended up with Kid #3. (Military) Doc said I didnt need to worry about birth control as long as I was exclusively breastfeeding. The day the doc cleared me to resume nuptials with my husband, I got pregnant. My two youngest were born 11 months apart.
Jeff Goldblum said it best: Nature finds a way!
My cousin went thru chemo, was demean infertile. 3 years later his wife felt ill, got to the hospital and it turns out she was pregnant. He got tested again and his sperm production was back to normal, like nothing has ever happened.
My father's colleague had one of her tubes and part of her uterus removed duo to a treatment. She had 3 kid after that. Like, how.
It's "life... uh.... finds a way"
My brother was the result of my mum's wisdom tooth extraction. No one told her the pill would be less effective afterwards!
Damn ah
?!??? Wow! I had to google, anesthesia/surgery medications can affect hormones or the way your body processes them?! Wild! Can't believe I've never heard of that. Thanks for sharing! o:
@@blaireshoe8738 antibiotics can affect them. Anything where you might be sick afterwards
I’m so lucky all my doctors always cautioned me about stuff that would affect my BC
I've never heard of a "seahorse Dad". So cute!
Matt and Abby have platformed people like the Duggars. So id be iffy on their comments about planned parenthood
Their tic tok is about how Abby fell pregnant because they thought she was safe because she was breastfeeding. They never were giving advice on planned parenthood. Have you listened to them talk to anyone from the Duggers? Those poor girls being raised in that family and thank goodness they had amazing support from their husband to break away from their toxic upbringing
FYI they platform the Duggar kids who have left the IBLP (their parents' beliefs). I've listened to the podcasts, the Duggar ladies basically talked about how they were raised and their journey of breaking away from it.
I really did not know what to expect with that last one, but man was I just as thrown off guard 😂😂
Omg “seahorse dad” is the cutest term ever and totally appropriate for trans dads who get pregnant! :3
What I learned in my midwifery training was that fertility could potentially return with any break longer than 4-6 hours in breastfeeding. So one really good nights sleep could potentially mean a return to your fertility. It's not certain that it will happen, but it's possible for some people.
I also appreciate you including pumping in this. Pumping TOTALLY counts when it comes to breastfeeding for the infant. It does NOT count when you are talking about fertility.
Introducing foods to your infant also means that you are no longer exclusively breastfeeding!
Also LAM relies on not using pacifiers. Basically the baby is attached to your boob at all times. I always joked with my husband (who is a doctor) that this method is effective because nobody can have sex while a baby is more or less permanently attached to the mother. 😂
I had a visceral reaction to that last one that squeezed out an "UHHGGHHH" sound so loud that my sleeping cat jumped in fright 😖
The comment about how providers ask/should ask if you're pregnant is so spot on. I had two different health care providers ask this in the same visit two different ways. The first one asked when my last menstrual cycle was and I told her it was the previous Monday and she didn't have any further questions. Next provider just straight up asked (in front of my MOTHER FYI) if there was any chance I could be pregnant. When I told her no, she asked if I was sexually active (again, in front of my MOTHER). It was extra frustrating considering I had just told the other provider my period had just happened and also had to answer that question in front of my mother (which is still uncomfortable as an adult in a long term relationship).
If you do not want to answer some questions in front of your mother, would it be helpful for her to not be in the room for part of your medical appointment? If this is your regular doctor, you could call the office and address this concern with them.
@@JaniceinOR This was an urgent care visit and she was the only person capable of picking me up and taking me. It's not that answering the question in front of her was a problem but rather the awkwardness of having to answer the question.
@norrineretz2011
I guess I do not understand. If I needed someone just as transportation, I would probably ask them to stay in the waiting room. Or did they ask those questions while you were still in the waiting room?
If someone accompanies the patient into the exam room, people probably assume the patient is ok with that person being privy to everything.
@@JaniceinORIn this instance, it was actually more beneficial to have her in the room with me as she was able to answer a family history question that I assumed was not relevant. The provider asked the question like pregnancy could be the underlying cause of the issue and she was asking it while my mother was in the room. I think I wouldn't have had such an issue with it if it was a general screening question separate from the pregnancy/cycle question as my mom isn't religious or abstinence obsessed. It's how she asked it that was the problem.
It's not the patients' job to decipher what is meant by a question that isn't adequately spesific.
When I had a girlfriend (a woman myself) doctors would ask me if I was sexually active and determine by my "yes" that I could be pregnant. It was annoying to have to correct them and explain why.
It sometimes went:
d: Are you sexually active?
m: Yes.
d: Is there a possibility that you're pregnant.
m: No.
d: What do you use for contraception.
m: Well, nothing.
Doctor looking at me like I'm an idiot: Then you CAN be pregnant, because if you don't use any contr...
Me hoping we could have skipped to this point earlier - yet again: I'm in a relationship with a woman.
d: *Grumbling noises while not looking me in the eyes*
Once I realized how this went, I tried to jump ahead to clarify the question isn't relevant. But doctors often insist on getting only the answers they want and asking all the questions. And then they get embarrassed at the end.
I didn't like the fact I always had to out myself when it was absolutely irrelevant. And that it was always this awkward hassle.
I got pregnant 5 years after my husband had a vasectomy. He did have his follow up and his count was nearly zero. Btw, this was done while he was serving in the military ( not the best care). We actually joked about a fail; because we knew several couples that ended up pregnant. Come to find out that Although rare, after he first gained a lot of weight and then had a Hernia near his groin; it pushed one of his tubes together again. Ultrasound showed it. I miscarried at 26 weeks .
What a roller coaster of emotions that must have been / continues to be. I’m so sorry for your loss, that’s really hard.
@edvh88 Thank you. It was horrific; even though we joked around about it.
My husband and I did the pull out method for pretty much like 10 years and no issues. Never a single pregnancy. The funny thing is I got pregnant twice on birth control. But never once with the pull out method. You do it well and reliably every time it does work. It's just that most people cannot do it reliably every time. Plus you also have to know your cycle.
Even if he pulls out before ejaculating, there is some sperm in the pre-ejaculate fluid, so pregnancy would still be possible, though rare. If I lived somewhere with an abortion ban, I would not risk it.
@@JaniceinOR if you actually look at studies with pre-ejaculation it's incredibly rare for pre-ejaculation sperm to actually be viable to get to the egg. Pre-Ejaculation sperm are low quality. And I get that but if it's your only option or if it's an option that you prefer and it works for you, then you should do what works for you.
And to be fair if there is an accident with the pull out, you should always get plan B. Any chance you think there could have been an accident. You gotta be careful.
@Fizzypopization
Which studies did you look ar?
2013 "Sperm content of pre-ejaculatory fluid" Killick et al found that 25% of the pre-ejaculate fluid they collected had a reasonable proportion of motile sperm. "Hence, condoms should continue to be used from the first moment of genital contact."
Thanks for continuing to help us learn and stay informed. Imma tell all my bros
I haven't finished the video, but I remember being told by my teacher in high school that all three of his children were results of the pull out method so no, it is not an effective birth control.
@@KatzuBlood is not effective because is not a BC method 😅 doing pull out is playing with pregnancies
as a trans guy, can confirm, do NOT consider T birth control. i didn't get pregnant, but a little over 2 years after my last period, my cycle came back. i was diligent with my dosage and timing, my levels all looked perfect, but my ovaries decided to take matters into their own hands, i guess. if i had been using T as birth control, i would have been having a very bad time (it was still pretty bad. 2 years in, i didn't have any period products in the apartment and had to waddle down to the store)
Although if that does happen, you do need to tell your doctor about it. If you stop having a period for hormonal reasons that haven't changed (consistent hrt, certain types of birth control, menopause, etc) and it comes back, that is a potential sign of cancer
thank you for talking about testosterone HRT!! I keep meaning to share your channel with my friend (ftm), because he went to an Orthodox Jewish private school where they didn't get sex ed. I've held off because I don't want to scare him away by sending him a video that primarily talks about cis women (even though I know you do your best to make your content trans inclusive!! I really appreciate it as a nonbinary uterus-haver). I'm going to send him this video and see if he's interested :O
I got a weeks detention 30 years ago because the "marriage" class teacher told us that the rhythm method was 99% effective in preventing pregnancy and, filter broken, I said, yup, that's why you have a classroom full of kids. Even back then, I couldn't believe they were teaching this lie to teenagers! Thank gawd my Mom and sisters were more progressive and taught me reality!
Oh you mean “Catholic roulette?” Yeah, that’s why my mom is one of 7 kids.
my husband had a vasectomy followed by 2 clear sperm analyses - then we had baby number 3 - then he had another vasectomy!
How long after the clear sperm analyses did the pregnancy happen? Did anyone have an explanation?
My middle son has a post vasectomy/sperm count done baby. He had another vasectomy and my daughter in law ended up having a hysterectomy. Not sure how we got her, but she’s a total delight! ❤️😁
just got a bilateral salpingectomy, it would be so cool if you could do a video on permanent female sterilization, its definitely not talked about enough!
I would love to see a video on it too!! Also congrats 🎉😊
@0:44 -- my friend "thought" if she was breastfeeding, she couldn't get pregnant... oops!! ... she has a beautiful 2nd child now 😃✌️🖖
Relying on the breastfeeding method and NOT pulling out is testing your luck lmao
As always, while I am waayyy past getting PG, and not really at risk for any STDs, I still enjoy your videos. And yes, I think your videos in SE class would be very beneficial. Although I am sure some districts would think otherwise. Education is key.
Hi! Can you please do a video on Gov. Ron Desantis speech in Clearwater Fl about abortion. His information doesn’t seem totally accurate and I think we need a physician to clarify the way the law and amendment are written to make an educated vote.
A good rule is to just assume that DeSantis is wrong...always
I've been wishing I could hear her take on the proposed Amendment 4, too. I know it's not perfect and the language is often vague, I'm just trying to decide if it's still worth voting for or if I should hold off for something better since it's an amendment to our state constitution. I'm very reluctant to essentially vote for more years of the current 6 week ban.
@@TehMomo_Agreed. Also probably a good rule to fact check politicians in general and especially when it comes to medical topics like abortion.
@ After doing my own research, I decided that I will vote for it. I was strung up on the word viable. Which is defined by Florida state as a baby capable of living outside the womb. I have heard of many women giving birth to babies at 23 weeks and they survived. So I would assume viable means no later than 22 weeks which seems like a good time line because a lot of people don’t find out about genetic anomalies that would cause death at birth or shortly after until their 20 week anatomy scan.
The only other thing that concerned me was the parental consent/notification thing. I don’t think this law that limits government involvement appeals parental consent law for minors to have abortion. I think that would have to be specifically in 4 for that to happen.
I’m not a professional, so I could be wrong. I think we should do our own research and form our own opinions on it.
i have an unrelated question, wouldn't cis men taking testosterone to gain muscle mass or for whatever reason also be called "gender affirming" since they are taking T to keep up what they perceive as correlates with their idea of being a man?
It definitely is. Same for boob jobs in cis women.
@@mariannetfinches thanks for answering my question :)
Currently nursing the 8 month old I conceived while exclusively breastfeeding my 15 month old and without having had any period.
Now I knew I could get pregnant and was totally fine with it, but it is my reminder - no period does not equal no ovulation
Yes. Same with kids and their first period. If people start being sexually active really early, they can still get pregnant before their first period.
Theres always one ovulation before the first period
From my understanding it prevents ovulation for 6 months max if you do everything right. I occasionally hear about those who exclusively breastfed and still had periods come back like 6 weeks postpartum. It was about 6 months for me though getting my period postpartum.
You're the first medical profession I have ever encountered who was willing to accept the "not doing pregnancy causing activites during your fertile window" as a plausible contraception method, lol.
Before we did a vascectomy I did temperature tracking as my BC (caveats! I have very regular cycles, I found pregnancy an acceptable risk, I had a partner who respected my choice and used condoms during my fertile window, and I was very good at checking & tracking my temps. It is not for everyone). It worked flawlessly for me for the half dozen years I did it. I knew my ovulation pattern so well, that when we did choose fo get pregnant (about 6 months after I started - we get pregnant pretty easily so it only took 1 cycle), my temp charting showed the day my daughter implanted and I knew from that I was pregnant days before I got my positive test.
What I am grateful for here, is that you brought up the fertile window as relevant. When I first told my OB i was done with the pill (i HATED the way it affected my mind and subdued my personality), and told her I was temp tracking she gave me the most disgusted, contempt filled look, and said that 20% of women using "the rhythm method" would be pregnant by the end of the year. I told her that was not what i was doing. She continued to treat me like an idiot.
Lol, and that's the story of why I havent seen an OB in a decade. (I have seen the OBGYN NP, so I'm not totally neglecting my health).
Sorry that OB was so disrespectful to you. I didn’t take my temp but I too have very regular cycles and can tell when I’be ovulated, plus not having sex that frequently also helps… it worked for me for 3.5 years til I was ready to get pregnant again. The day I conceived I was thinking to myself, well it’s pretty likely the journey has begun again! Lol. Due in March!
Nobody should treat you badly like that. Period (no pun intended). That said, I get why the doctor was skeptical. Every single person I know who did the FAM method got pregnant when they were trying to prevent it. If you really don’t mind the higher chance of getting pregnant with that method versus something like LARC (long acting reversible contraception), then I say go for it. But I wouldn’t. My mental health and the mental health of my whole family would suffer if we had another child. It’s not worth the risk to me. I say even using a diaphragm or condoms is better for most folks than FAM, if you really can’t stand hormonal contraception. Or a copper IUD.
But nobody should treat you like that. Ever. I’m sorry your doctor was so disrespectful. 😢
Yes I agree as well this is probably an okay method. We attempted as well by first tracking my cycle for an entire year while still using condoms. Unfortunately, we learned that I had underestimated how irregular my cycle can be. Best candidates for this method have consistent cycle lengths. Mine could vary by up to 2 weeks sometimes. Too much variation. But more couples, with discipline, could probably try and be fine. Not recommended if an accidental pregnancy is not something you can deal with at all...
@@michby a lot of couples are not good candidates for this. You need to have a consistent cycle and you need to understand it very well. It takes a lot of discipline too... It is not a surprise that it fails more often. You are obviously better off with a hands off approach. Many couples that want to conceive end up doing a similar form of tracking because they really want to know when their chances are highest.
I think they should ask if a patient has had sex in the last 10 months. If yes, proceed to pregnancy test. Or don't ask and just do the pregnancy test. Even if I tell the nurse and doc I know I'm not pregnant and they should believe me because I listed 3 forms of birth control with 1 being 100% effective, they still make me do a pregnancy test. It's annoying, but people lie to their nurses and doctors all the time and ruin it for the rest of us.
Absolutely not. Just doing a pregnancy test on everyone regardless of their wishes is such a massive violation. I would never go to a doctor if they did a pregnancy test as a standard regardless of anything else. And I have absolutely reported doctors who have done one without my consent.
@@KoiraStar especially if the patient is a minor. Some parents will FLIP OUT if they see a pregnancy test on their child's paperwork.
I heavily resented being forced to take a pregnancy test before every gynecology appointment even if we were just talking. There was nothing that would be putting an embryo or fetus at risk, because there were no procedures or scans or other tests being done. I told them it had been months and a couple periods - and one of their pregnancy tests - since I last had had sex with anyone, but they insisted.
It felt like either rigid inflexibility or a power play.
At least 20+ years ago, working as an EMT in a fairly rural area, my service was called to a "pregnant woman in labor". While en route to the hospital, she exclaimed, "I don’t know how I got pregnant! We used peanut butter!"
PEANUT BUTTER?????????
oh hell no
I knew a coworker who told me that her boyfriend did not like to wear condoms and that they used the pull out method. A month later she was pregnant.
Lol that sounds like my bf but it's been 2 years and no pregnancy. The first one was planned tho 😅
Edit- I wouldn't recommend it tho 😅😳
This "not asking the right questions" thing can get quite hilarious. Once, my interaction with a doctor taking my medical history included the following exchange:
- Do you use contraception?
- No.
- I mean, including condoms.
- No.
- Any children?
- No.
When she was done taking my history, she basically went on a tirade about eating and exercising and unhealthy habits, and also contraception and STI prevention. When she got to that part, I tried - and failed - to interrupt her to say I wasn't having any sex.
as an afab trans masc person, I really appreciate the way you include all the people that you're trying to include. Not weird, but not forgetting about us either. Just, a small thing that you do really well, thank you.
As always, thank you for your inclusive language! And I really appreciate hearing a Seahorse Dad's perspective!
I had a hysterectomy 8 weeks ago today so I can confidently say without a doubt when asked I am NOT pregnant 😂
suck it out for birth control is crazy🤣🤣🤣
There's an 11 year gap between me and my next oldest brother and someone said "someone got their iud removed" when I mentioned it. So I finally asked my mom about it and nope all 5 of her pregnancies were conceived using spermicide. They just got lucky for 11 years lamo. But they weren't "risk adverse" as evidenced that she didn't get her tubes tied until after my younger brother. 😂
thank you so much for including the part about testosterone!! my doctor told me it doesn't work as birth control, but I know not everyone is being told that because I've heard from a lot of other trans men that they had no idea. It's an understandable misunderstanding! since for most people their periods will eventually stop, a surface level knowledge would lead one to believe that also means pregnancy isn't possible
35F who had a hysterectomy at 29 and they stilllllll ask me if there's any chance I could be pregnant. I haven't come up with an appropriately **hysterical** response yet.
This is what gets me about some doctors. Like LOOK AT THE MEDICAL FILE ffs lmao.
If someone would ask me if I might be pregnant I can very confidently say: Nope, definately not.
Due to menstrual issues I got an hormonal IUD placed in 2022. As this was not doing the trick I am also taking hormonal contraception orally. On top of that, I am not sexually active.
I had gynacologists tell me I will change my mind about not wanting children. I am pretty sure that children are not going to happen on this kind of regiment, but I do have an agreement with my GP. If I would get pregnant anyway he will leave his job and we will write a book.
I totally get that the pregnancy question is necessary for specific medical procedures. I am very sure that me not wanting children is a thing a doctor should never invalidate.
6:33 yep I recently noticed that I sometimes confused my ovulation spotting for my period starting since my period isn’t very consistently spaced, so while I don’t have sex it would probably be easy to confuse the ovulation blood for period blood if you have inconsistent periods and are trying not to get pregnant by avoiding the fertile window.
Love the way you prefer to ask "is there any possibility you could be pregnant?" by talking about periods, but also if you're engaging in sex with someone who could get you pregnant.
I sometimes think my notes need a big mark up the top, because I've had a full hysterectomy, and while I'm 35 so I'm still in prime needing to ask that question territory, once I answer, I then always get "and what was that for?" even when doing something like having xrays for intra-articular hip injections. Which feels like none of their business. It was for endometriosis that had me on palliative care levels of opiate painkillers, and robbed me of my 20s - my osteo xray tech doesn't need that info.
Your phrasing would work much better for me, and would've saved me time even before the hysterectomy, as my spouse is not someone who could possibly get me pregnant, even when I had all the equipment necessary. And it can feel so weird when you're in your early 20s, having to out yourself to all your doctors, over and over, especially when you're one non-binary and one genderqueer person, so you're also trying not to use gendered language. At least once we were married we could just gesture to the ring and go "wife", instead of our doctors all telling our "friend" to leave the room.
Joke from Outlander:
Claire: There is a word for people who depend on that particular method of birth control (withdraw method).
Bree: What’s that?
Claire: Parents
Conversation about how to ask gave me flashbacks!
I was 18, I have Raynaud's and had been sat on the sofa with my foot under me, jumped up fast and didn't realise I didn't have a foot. When it wouldn't go down flat I tried to force it down... Ended up in a heap and crunched my ankle backwards. So off to A&E. Both my parents were working, my dad picked me up because he worked at the hospital but this was one of the rare shifts as a radiographer he wouldn't be able to be with me or do my x-ray.
So, I've been examined, doctor comes back with the x-ray request form, goes through the questions and it goes like this...
Dr: any chance you could be pregnant?
Me: no
Dr: really?
Me: yes
Dr: are you sure?
Me: yes...
Dr: how do you know? (Ok, so I'm already slightly amused/slightly irritated at the invasiveness of the questions, this really put my back up)
Me: Well apart from being on the pill (he goes smug) I'm on The. Most. Effective. Contraception. Known. To. Man.
Dr: (haha gotcha now face, full on snark) oh yeah. What's that then?
Me: abstinence.
The doctor did a literal about turn and walked out without a word!
My dad would have had him if he'd been there because it's not how you ask (even 25 years ago) and was radiography's job not his.