ObGyn Reacts: 55yo Pregnant with Triplet GRANDKIDS? | Strange Pregnancies
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ธ.ค. 2019
- Ob/Gyn physician Mama Doctor Jones reviews the second of 3 "strange pregnancies" included in the documentary made by Real Families TH-cam channel. This one incdlu
Original Documentary Link: • I Gave Birth To My Gra...
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Mama Doctor Jones
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I love you shirt! Where do I get one? I NEED one. You don't know my family. I NEED one!
DT Hurley the link to that shirt is in her video description :)
Teespring link in description!
@@MamaDoctorJones: Thankyou for all the educational, witty and practical videos in 2019. Wishing you and your family Merry Christmas and that 2020 is filled with health and happiness.🎅🎁
I got the hoodie for my friend! She loves it, it's super comfy
Anna Kohler you should make this comment on the actual video, not a reply.
"She's carrying her own grandchildren in her uterus, it's so crazy" What's crazier is she already carried those eggs once before, when they were growing inside her daughter ovaries when she was a fetus! The body is crazy!
Gail Isaacs This is one fact that amazes me again everytime I hear it 😁
Eggception.
What's crazy is she carried her daughter, grandkids and great grand kids 🤔😍
Yeah.... that is not how that works....
@@petramccafferty5902 A female fetus at 20 weeks already has eggs inside her body.
That dad can never complain about his mother in law again
😂
She'll be getting Christmas AND Easter for a while lol
Lol, They can NEVER tell her NO to ANY holidays she wants t see her grandchildren because those are HER'S more than ANY other grandbabies could be! Yup, grama gets EVERYTHING she wants now, she's got th golden slippers pass with her son in law for th rest of her life!
LOL
That is the most amazing mother in law ever, I would never put my mother through this, God bless that woman for having such a big heart to carry her own grand children.
Back in 1981 when my parents adopted me there was only a $50 fee! We all still laugh at how cheap I was 😂
That's hilarious. It's kinda reminds me of Marley and me.
That's interesting... in 1984, my parents paid thousands of dollars for my adoption...
@@zipperXie you certainly couldn't adopt a child in Australia for $50 now. Mum and dad were very lucky because the criteria and everything changed about 6 months after they adopted me
@@zipperXie Lol in 84 my parents paid my bio mom's Dr. Bills and for her household bills.. And that was it. So I figure Mom and Dad got off cheap considering.
Best $50 they ever spent!
Our twins had severe twin to twin transfusion at 17 weeks. We were offered selective reduction and told our smaller twin had a very low chance as her cord was also attached to the sack not the placenta and she had severe growth restriction 😕 we declined and instead had an operation to split the blood vessels in the placenta, so if something happened to one twin, it would not harm the other.
They're now 5 years old, healthy and crazy. There's not a day goes past that I don't think about how lucky we are. Our little twin is still little, but makes up for it in personality 🥰
My daughter had that done with my grand daughters at 18weeks gestation, she delivered at 26 weeks. When the surgery was done baby b had no measurable fluid, the surgery gave them 8 weeks to grow. After 13 weeks in the NICU they came home perfectly. So identical even mama gets confused. Lol. Beautiful babies, I thank God my daughter never considered the offer of selective reduction
@@angelrosec that's amazing to hear. Thank you for sharing. So happy that your granddaughters are doing so well. ☺️💛💛
My friend also had a division procedure in utero on her twins. Happy, healthy toddlers now!
Thanks, I wondered if that was a possibility
This grandmother was like “Wait... no grand babies... no I got this!!! I’ll make em myself!”
that's exactly what I thought. This lady was like "IM GONNA BE A GRANDMA DAMNIT"
The woman already had kids lmao, she was already a grandma
@@cati896 ok but what grandma turns down more grandkids? that's like a girl scout turning down patches for her sash 😂
She already had 2.
@Shauna Coleman we have the same name !
"My first son, my second pregnancy, my third baby."
That's strangely pleasing.
Which means the first were girls, hen she had a son and then I'm guessing another boy
Vanessa E No... That's not how that works. It sounds like either her first or second pregnancy was twins and the third child to be born was a boy. The first two girls.
@@IceKreacher that's literally what I said or at least what I was implying
@@IceKreacher that's what they said! Her first pregnancy was twin girls, then her second pregnancy was her third child, first son.
Yeah so the first one would be female twinsies
My parents were unable to have children. They adopted my brother and myself aged four. I've never wanted to find my birth family, I've already got the family I want.
My best friend is the same. Though she was adopted at 8months old from an orphanage, and she had all these medical issues etc... her younger sister though, was 5 when adopted FROM ETHIOPIA to Norway, so they had to have a translator live with them in the beginning... but my friend is not even slightly curious, though her sister feels a LITTLE bit differently about it? Because she knows her bio father lost his wife and was left with five young children, and had to give some of them up for adoption... they are both from Ethiopia tho, and they actually look weirdly similar? I remember back when landlines were a thing, and I would call for my friend and I'd always had to ask who I was speaking to, because over the phone I could not distinguish them lmao. They are so similar yet so different, which I find super fascinating (I was a psych major) in regards to nature vs. Nurture? Like it is OBVIOUS nurture plays a huge role in forming a person. You cannot blame bad genes etc alone when people turn out "bad" etc... because they are not biological siblings, they are 6 years apart, different starts to life - but have THE MOST AMAZING family ever, and I think that is so important in how a child develops. Like I used to beg their mother to adopt me too even though I was almost 18, because the whole mood in their house was just completely opposite of my home. Like I love my parents, but wow. They did adopt a son before my friend and her sister, but he died really tragically at the playground when my friend was 3...? (He found a lighter, and accidentally set himself on fire, it was horrible). But their family are so open, accepting, and just wholesome. Like I always feel so welcome there no matter what. I snapchat with her mom regularly, because she is just so kind! If I ever consider getting kids, which I doubt but still, I'll either have older foster kids or adopt older kids. It's so sad how people always want babies, leaving the older kids to grow up in the system... but adoption in general is the most beautiful thing in my eyes.
Yeah, I'm sorry for her bullshit in this video.
@@KrisHe1 that’s awful what happened to that little boy. Who leaves a lighter at a park that children go to disgusting.
That’s so cute I’m so happy for you ❤️❤️✊
I’m searching for mine right now! 😂 It’s crazy how diverse the adoption experience is. It just can’t be classified as a monolithic experience and cast aside.
Her: That's interesting as well, it's not the third embryo it's-
Ad: -The all new fire wood grill!!"
HAHAHA yes the ads are so sudden and jarring!! No correlation whatsoever and if they think I'm ready to consider buying a new grill in the middle of this......well... I don't know anyone who enjoys having a fascinating story interrupted, especially not for a sudden plea for money. 😂
If that shows up on your sonogram, it’s a little concerning 😂
It warns me on my laptop 5 seconds before running an ad, but on mobile it just starts playing.
Sometimes, the timing of ads is just...
Perfect timing 🤣🤣🤣
MDJ could you talk about mothers who have had 10+ pregnancies (like the Duggar or the Radford families) and the effects they have on the mother and the subequent pregnancies?? Do the risks rise with each pregnancy regardless of maternal age?? Thanks for reading this and for your great content :)
Yes could you please! I’ve always been interested in the effects on a body having 10+ pregnancies
I hit enter before I was done.. adding to what the previous commenter said. I was told to stop at 3. I didn’t really question it but would have loved to have more
Yes please talk about this! I have had 2 kids already (fairly close together - 17 months) and want many more. I'm also considering surrogating. Definitely want to know some facts instead of just the general scare language of the internet.
They wont care. They're populating the earth based in bible stuff.
@@emersonhawks not about them. WE want to know.
As an ultrasound student, that zoom in on the probe had me dead. Hilarious
I don't know much about ultrasounds but even I could tell there was definitely no baby in that gap
As a person who has seen at least one ultrasound picture... It had me dead too.
Yes!!! I'm an RN and laughed out loud as well!! 🤣😂🤣😂
Maybe they did that on purpose lol
🤣🤣🤣 Yessssss!!!
It's eerie watching this just three years later, and realizing how many women and doctors are no longer even allowed to *consider* that difficult decision.
Unreal isn't it?
Episodes like these make me realize just how INCREDIBLY lucky I am to be here. My twin and I were born in 1996, at only 27 weeks. Our Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome wasn't diagnosed until we were born. My mom was in labour for three days as they have her stuff to try and stop it. We were small, but my twin especially so, at only 1 lb 11 oz. I weighed 2 lbs 14 oz. If we hadn't been born prematurely, we would have almost certainly both died. We suffered no birth injuries and are completely healthy, just autistic. No wonder my mom calls us her miracle twins.
I was born 51 years ago, born at about a 28 weeks. I was 2lbs at birth and dropped to 1lb, 11 oz. No deficits for me either. There was no ICU. I was born in a small hospital. They resuscitated me and I lived in an incubator for two months. My parents didn’t have a vehicle and probably had to take a taxi the town 45 minutes away. I’m betting they only saw me once a week.
As a 27 year old that cannot have children- thank you from the bottom of my heart for addressing all those "why don't you just adopt" people
I can't have children either and just had a hysterectomy 5 months ago at 38 years old. Infertility is devastating and to hear "just adopt!" is a huge slap in the face when your body is so broken/ sick it can't do what it was meant to do. Hugs to you.
I am adopted myself and my parents told me they tried for a long time to conceive naturally with no luck and they tried adopting and failed time and time again there’s no easy way. Thankfully I came up because by the time I came by they were ready to completely give up. Like she said very unpredictable and it can be very emotionally draining
since my sister got married she's been trying to get pregnant and it's just not happening she turned 29 last month and they are looking into adoption but apparently since she's a housewife even though her husband is in a management position they don't like the fact that it's not a two income household and you know somebody would be home with the kids they would rather both people be working and the kids to be in the care of some stranger 90% of the time which is freaking ridiculous
@@brandibastian4193 That's so messed up and crazy. Sorry to hear that. The requirements for adoptions are pretty strict and expensive in itself.
@@brandibastian4193 That is ridiculous. In my day the prejudice ran the other way and either way is wrong. Daycare can be expensive; good daycare can take a huge chunk of a second paycheck (they're not volunteers). If job security is a concern then there's a lot to consider, but financial stability is different in details for every family. And most choices have pros and cons. Barring divorce or death of a breadwinner, if one paycheck can support the family, what's the objection.
When my husband was in utero he absorbed his twin. He likes to tell people he ate his twin like sharks do. 🤣
You got a two for one deal :)
Same here.
My mom did that! She's got two stomachs, three kidneys, and three ovaries! I always tell people she ate her twin.
Interestingly enough, this is something that can happen with fraternal twins, too, within a limited period of time. Sometimes it’s really obvious, especially with different pigmentation (skin, eyes, hair). Some only find out when some general test pops a weird “contaminated” blood or DNA test, because different parts of the body (blood vs hair) actual have different DNA because they came from the different embryos. The technical term is “chimerism.” I love learning about science.
@@HaleyJo1992 whoa that's so cool! how's your mom though? does it affect her health?
You're right about adopting being difficult. I had a friend who wasn't ready for a baby and she had 5 families that she met with that all desperately wanted to adopt the baby. And those were only 5 out of the tons profiles she went through. She met with couples and families until she found the couple she felt was supposed to have the baby. She said it was a really difficult choice because every couple were good people who could of given the baby a great family.
I'm glad your friend was able to find the right family for the baby. I'm sure it was a tough thing to go through and I hope everyone involved is happy and healthy.
I had an emergency c section. They lost my daughters heartbeat and couldn’t get it back. She’s almost 13 and it still makes me cry.
🥺
@@isda3314 I think this person meant that they lost their baby 13 years ago and it still saddens them. You can't say at least she is healthy when this woman said they lost a heartbeat and couldn't get it back. It's impossible to live without a heartbeat....
@@SEA-dv5kh omg i am so sorry, I must have misread the comment 10 months ago
@@SEA-dv5kh To be fair I misunderstood that too. This was incredibly weirdly phrased.
So sorry for your loss
Since we talked so much about multiples in this video, I thought I would share one of my favorite family stories! My grandma was a twin born in 1929. They were born premature, weighing only 2 pounds each. Their midwife put them in a cigar box and stuck them behind a wood stove. They were unable to latch and were fed for a few weeks by dipping cotton balls in milk, which they would suckle from. They miraculously both survived! My Grandma Jean passed away this past summer, two weeks before turning 90, and her sister Jane is 90 years old and going strong!
Crazy! We have a very similar story in my husband family!! My husband' grandma died last year at 101 years old and her twins brother at 90
My great grandma is 97 or 98 I can’t remember
My mom and uncle John had a similar birth experience in 1928: they weighed 7 pounds together and were put in a shoe box sat on the wood stove open door. The old midwives ways worked!
My stepmom grandmother is 95 and rides her bikes 3 miles a day 🥺
That is fantastic!! Thank you for sharinh!
The Grandma was amazing. That is such a selfless act of love for her daughter.
I know! And then she just says "it was just something I did to make my daughter happy." That's not "just something" you do to make someone happy. Twin pregnancy was awful! And my body handled it perfectly. I cannot imagine having a complicated, triplet pregnancy at an age where your body's not prime for handling it! That would be miserable!
@@ThatOneLadyOverHere I can't imagine having kids/wanting kids period. The level of love this mother had for her daughter brought tears to my eyes honestly.
I'm glad you and your kids are okay!
Um, it also isn't unselfish to NOT be willing to do this.
@@beckiehubley5798 Nobody is saying that! This is an EXTREME and unique act of love and compassion that a mother did. But not all mothers are willing or able to do something like this. That doesn't make them any less amazing or selfless in their love for their children.
My best friend adopted her younger daughter last year. It took 2.5 years, $75,000 and she was on antidepressants by the end. Adoption is not the breezy, obvious solution people seem to think it is.
That is so sad as there are many children without a home.
That's so crazy expensive! In my country it is all financed by the state. I cannot imagine having to spend so much for the chance of bringing a child to the family. I would have one less uncle and one less cousin if we had those kind of fees
Not to mention not everyone wants a baby who didn't come out from us
@@usagi18 I honestly think that’s stupid,especially now,we have way too many people we don’t need to keep breeding more!
@@bugloverspiderlover8490 true, but that won't keep people from wanting to parent only their own biological children. If I didn't gave birth to him/her, I will not be a mother, period.
Strange moment when you realize the doctor in the docu is the doctor that delivered your brother
I’m a triplet, my parents tried for 10 years and did 2 rounds of ivf and medication, when they found out they were finally pregnant(my mom was 39, had us at 40) went in to the doctors and were told they were having two babies, my parents were given the option to “terminate one” because when you do this, your hope is for 1 baby, my parents said no( they were trying for 10 years🤣) but the nurse or person helping with the ultra sound was looking at my parents and said there is three, my parents were all in and didn’t care, they wanted to have all three!( I know this is long, but here you go 🤣)
Are you guys identical triplets? Imagine how hard it is to identify which one is who 😅
@@isda3314 we aren’t identical, and look nothing a like but get mixed up all the time 🤣
Wow! Thats like pressing the chrome button multiple times because it doesn’t react and then it opens 5 tabs at once :D
My aunt had a son in a pervious marriage and then married my uncle, she got pregnant with fraternal twins(no IVF happened naturally) and then about 8 years later decided to try for a girl (since all three were boys) and ended up with female triplets (fraternal, all three from their own egg, naturally occurring)
You actually can have identical triplets, it’s just extremely rare.
Thank you so much for clarifying that embryos aren't implanted; they're transferred. That's such a huge misconception about IVF.
Anastacia Zara frustrating eh? I did ivf 13 times (have 2 kids now). She’s sharing great information ☺️
@@nzrabbit77 congratulations
Informative.
I’m so glad you mentioned that it wasn’t an emergency c section.. that was clearly planned although risky and serious definitely wasn’t emergent as it was next day. I’ve had an emergency c section and i have severe PTSD, i went from the dr walking in to my room to being put under within 7 minutes and my husband not making it. People take “emergency c section” so lightly and it infuriates me. So thank you.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It must have been terrifying.
I feel for you, my sister had an emergency c-section with my niece, it was a breached birth. Her boyfriend just made it at the last second, as they took the baby out. She said she could feel it like a vacuum sucking the baby out of her, it was painful but the doctor kept telling her it wasn't pain she was feeling, just pressure, so they did nothing for her pain.
My OB told my husband that should something go wrong during labor, she could have the baby out in under 2 mins from the time I was rolled into the OR.
I had an emergency c section completely randomly, was admitted to the hospital that day until my due date due to complications - that night I went to use the bathroom with a nurse helping me because I was in pain - I saw something coming out of me (vag) - last thing I remember was starting to walk back out of the bathroom - they had snuck up and gave me a shot that knocked me out and instantly wheeled me to the OR and cut my son out in what I believe was under 5 mins - woke up to them telling me they had made a split second decision and removed my baby - thankfully my son is 3 now with no medical complications he is a true angel and that was a true emergency c section lol - terrifying and I also have ptsd from it
PS I was just that night at 26 weeks pregnant
I love the "MOM!" at finding out they're triplets
I know it'd be so weird if your mom was pregnant with your children and when you found out she was pregnant just being like Mom what are you doing
Your discussion about "Why don't you JUST adopt?" is so spot on. We went through infertility for 5 years and did the adoption route before we turned to IVF. We had a failed adoption and it was so horrifically painful. Now, I'm 26 weeks pregnant with our miracle baby that we conceived via IVF. Adoption is not a cure for infertility.
Lauren Jarvis people don’t realize how complex adoption is. It’s not just like applying for a baby then receiving one within a day. There’s so much more to that. It’s annoying that comment I agree.
Congrats on your pregnancy.
It actually is if the process was easier.
CherryJuli actually it’s not. It’s a cure for childlessness. The mental and physical aspect of infertility does not go away when you adopt.
Lauren Jarvis sometimes you just got to accept things. I know Americans aren’t great on that concept. And honestly, I’d choose infertility over any other chronic disease.
CherryJuli yes you may think that. However if you want to have children- your children biologically and to find out you can’t have more or any to begin with can be devastating. It could cause so many mental health problems. Not to mention the physical aspects. Just because you think it won’t affect you like that doesn’t mean you don’t have to respect everyone’s situation and how it affects them.
This may be uneducated. I have no experience with things such as this but adoption is not easy
Adoption is not a replacement
Adoption might get a child
Adoption won’t necessarily help any side affects from going through infertility. Mentally or physically.
While many people may be content with trying adoption and such many aren’t and we need to respect them too
Mom of quadruplets, here. Thank you for your discussion on the agonizing decisions around reduction that HOM families are faced with. I rarely discuss it because I’ve been verbally assaulted for even admitting that we had a conversation with our medical team about it. In the end, we didn’t reduce and I gave birth at 33 weeks to 4 babies ranging in size of 4lb4oz to 3lb8oz. (To satisfy your medical brain). All had an uneventful few weeks in the NICU and are now happy and healthy 11yos. Thank you for being a positive and loving voice of reason.
I can’t believe how many people are so willing to give their opinions on something so deeply personal!
My heart goes out to you having that tough conversation. Reduction is such a sterile way of talking about it. I've only had my one, but his bio "dad" tried to "save our marriage" by abortion. My analytical brain has one answer, my heart a completely different one. I know that you must be as grateful each day as I am to have all your kids... warts and all lol 😉
I’m sorry people of giving you such shit about it. Especially since the only reason doctors recommend it is for the safety of the mother and to make sure that at least some of the fetus is make it to term. I completely understand why some people wouldn’t want to do it, but people shouldn’t judge those who considerate or go through with it. It’s a personal decision and there’s nothing wrong with you for considering it. You didn’t have a crystal ball so you couldn’t have known it would work out as well as did without it, so it wasn’t unreasonable
Respect
I had an emergency c-section. I went through 11 hours on induced labor. Pushed twice. Then my OB said we have to have a c-section. Flipped me over onto my knees (thank god I had JUST gotten an epidural) and started yelling at nurses that weren’t moving fast enough, equipment got thrown into the bed with me, a blanket over my lower extremities and out the door we went. I hadn’t done any research because I was not planning on a c-section. Luckily my OB was super calm the whole time, even while operating. I couldn’t see her, but I heard her voice and tone while she talked to other staff. It made me feel safe. Apparently my daughters umbilical cord had gathered above her shoulder and when I pushed we lost her heartbeat and she was too stuck to come out 😅 but she is is healthy and a terribly rambunctious 3 year old.
❤❤ great story
i love your birthing story- if you weren't on epidural bet it would hurt A LOT
I'm so glad that you had a healthy, happy baby!❤️
Congratulations!
I'm so glad you got an epidural!
My friend had an emergency C-section, with NO anaesthetic. 😵
She went on to have four more pregnancies, & three more Births after that!
A very brave lady!!! 💗
And, a wonderful, devoted, excellent Mother. ♥️
(Unfortunately, one of her babies left his body, before he could be born.
Rest in peace perfection, freedom, & Joy, precious little man. 💗)
God bless your precious child, you, & your family, now & always. 💗
Me, listening to her talk about how hard and expensive it is to adopt: :0
Me, remembering I'm a gay woman and in a lot of places it much harder for gay couples to adopt: :'0
I know this feeling well. Me and my wife would absolutely love to have a kid, but it's financially unlikely to happen. 😕
Same here
I'm a gay man hoping to adopt at some point but ik its super difficult.
I really hope me and my future husband could adopt a child one day.
@@masonhull3190 I hope all of you in this thread are able to adopt
It’s sad. There are so many loving couples out there that would give great homes to these kids. My husband ended up in a psych ward when he was in high school (long story lol). Anyway he told me horror stories about how many foster kids were in there just because they didn’t have anywhere else to put them. It completely broke my heart. Especially when you think about all the couples, gay or straight, hell, even single parents that would happily have given them a better life. It’s sad
As someone who’s bi and plans to adopt, I feel this so much. Especially since I’m adopted myself to a single mother. The girl who was my cribmate (yay, underfunding!) was adopted by a lesbian couple. Unfortunately this was in the 90’s, so legally she was only adopted by one of her moms. Idk if they were able to change that since, we’ve lost touch. But I hope so.
I did adoption with my son, and his parents got approved on Jan 23rd 2019 and went home with him October 23rd. Adoption was the best thing I could have done for our son. I still get updates and everything.
coffin candy as someone who was adopted, you gave him the best gift you could ever give someone. He thanks you. 💕💙
coffin candy Kaylyn Elizabeth thank you for sharing your stories. You guys are awesome :)
Congratulations from an adoptee ❤❤❤❤
That's so awesome ❤
@@Chloe.Miller21 I'm also an adoptee
I could never imagine putting my mom through this even if she offered.
I was thinking that too.
Thinking the same. Specially when you already have 2 kids. why do you need more?
@@MultiNini55 OH ESPECIALLY THAT! I was like geez if you had no children I understand more but if you already had kids like... Idk do the existing children like feel jealous at all? Like we weren't enough for mom she had to have more?
But this is coming from a 23 year old with no intention of having kids. But I am an only child after 8 years of fertility treatments so I understand the pressure of being a miracle child. And my mom tried 5 years to get another before eventually being stopping
@@MultiNini55 Yes! Thank you.
Imagine the triplets saying" mommy was I in your belly?" "No sweetie you were in grandma's belly" "But wasn't you in grandma's belly" "yes I was" "So are we siblings?"
I’m so glad you talked about adoption. I’m a birth mother myself at at first i was shocked to hear my chosen family had been waiting for 10 years. But then I gave birth to the best boy. And I wanted to keep him. But I also knew it wasn’t right for him. It is hard and I see both sides. So thank you for bringing that up! ❤️
I appreciate what you said about adoption, I am the person who always says “why go through such turmoil trying to conceive naturally, you can adopt”. I will remember your wise words in future.
As a sonographer, I had to giggle at the 3rd "gestational sac" on that image. :)
I worked as a vet tech years ago, so Ive seen a few ultras too and that got me so hard! But I guess it looks like a sac for somebody who isnt “in the know” :) Also, imagine the size of that suggested uterus, wow..
How do you become a sonographer?
I’m 21 and have had nothing to do with the medical field or pregnancy, and even I went “that’s not a baby” 🤣
@@marysdanceworld6066 Yeah, as somebody with no idea how to read those it was still clearly different than the others lol.
oxy 75 don’t be rude, she’s probably just interested cus that’s not really a popular career choice :)
Me here trying to find that Easter egg 😂
I grew up surrounded with a lot of miseducation. No sex was the ONLY option and even felt so much shame with having to go to an OB for the first time when I was 21 because i had had sex and couldn't tell my family. This channel has taught me so much and made me less ashamed of my body and the choices I make with if.
You should not feel ashamed of your choices darlin. I felt like this before I moved out bc I thought sex is adult behavior and I'm living with Mom.
I hate that there is shame in having sex. I am religious and believe that sex is an even deeper commitment than marriage, and is very sacred, which is why it's best to wait till after marriage. But I actually hate the concept of virginity because it makes people feel like once they have sex they can't go back, it undermines everything Christ did for us. If you have sex out of lust not love then you can still repent just like anything else.
This is how I was raised too. I remember my dad trying to make me feel 6 inches tall for his assumption that I was having sex with my now husband (then boyfriend). When truthfully it was none of his business.
Kewtie You’re literally the problem. No one needs to repent and who says it’s best to wait until marriage? Where is your evidence that it’s better wait until marriage? Oh right you don’t have evidence just like you don’t have evidence for your god. You can personally choose to wait, but don’t tell people they have to repent and do all this crap when it isn’t true. Go mind your own business, and stopping encouraging purity culture that made this woman feel horrible in the first place.
I love this comment! Wish she had been around when I was a teen too.
My monozygotic were delivered at 31 weeks 6 days. I had severe preeclampsia, I weighed in at 437 pounds that day with a BP of 201/100. I had a spinal block and an epidural. Baby A weighed 3 lbs. 13 oz. and Baby B was 2 lbs. 15 oz. They spent 4 weeks in the NICU and had brachial apnea episodes but did SO very well. We got to take them home and basically stuck to the 3 hr. feed schedule. It took quite awhile to heal from my large vertical c- section incision but that was what the brilliant FEMALE surgeons did because of my heft. They thought I'd heal better that way. Later on I'd discover a pituitary tumor, Cushing's disease and lose over 200 pounds but I'm thankful for the great care I received. Obgyn's and nurses have always treated me with respect and dignity regardless of my size. I can't say that for every doctor I've ever encountered. I've been every size from XS-5X. Thanks for doing what you do!
Cushings is horrible, glad you're doing better.
My sister tried to adopt, through her state sanctioned older child (5-12 years old but she would have taken a teenager) foster care system--you know, the one that always desperately needs more families for children of those ages and teenagers because everyone wants a baby. They rejected her for not vibing with her personality. They didn't use those words, but they basically said she was too weird and had bad feelings about her. Still pissed off at the state of Maryland for that one.
That is shameful. Further consider all the sexual abusers who get to move through that system and then all the children left to die from abuse and these people want to play games.
My friend wanted to adopt through the state too but they put her through way too much so she ended the process after a few years. Seems you have to be rich to adopt.
That’s awful. I wonder if it had to do with the specific person who did the evaluation? Maybe if she tried again and had a different worker assigned to her case, the outcome might be different?
If I choose to adopt it will be kids over 7.
I was a twin, at about 15 weeks the twin to twin transfer happened and i basically reabsorbed my twin.
My parents are still keeping an eye out if i become a cannibal
My 4th was fraternal twins a boy and a girl. I lost the boy early on.
Okay but are you a cannibal?
Dwight schrute ?
I hope your parents dont blame you for that because some parents blame their children for losing one twin.
No one is asking the cortect questions. Are you the right handed twin or the evil, left handed twin? 😅😂
Would you ever do something like a “10 things I wish my infertility patients knew” video or something like it?
Emily Ann Lincoln great idea! I‘ve got PCOS and I would love a breakdown of the options and their risks for women who for whatever reasons have trouble concieving. also, what to look out for in a doctor? like, what are the warning since that I should look for another fertility specialist or something?
Ella Marat yeah that would be great! I have pcos too and am on my 4th medicated cycle if you want to chat about that, I’m currently still working with an Obgyn so I thought a video like this might be good from an Obgyn, to discuss reasonable expectations given that they are not fertility specialists. For instance, it’s cheaper but they have less availability which can be problematic when things need to happen on specific cycle days. But a fun pro is that if it does work they can be your care provider through pregnancy.
Oh I would like that too. I don’t have an official diagnosis. We halting trying trying when a recession hit our area and my husband was at risk for losing his job. So we only passively tried since our chances seemed low anyways. So we had a planned surprise baby after a few years and we were actually on the upsweep of being in a good position to start trying trying again. So it would be nice to know a bit more general stuff, like why they do certain tests or whatever for when I eventually go back to seeing what was/is causing the problem
Good idea
About the "just adopt" thing: Thank you for talking about this. Also, I don't think people realize that, for some women, being pregnant can also be a dream in itself and that if they can't be, it's also a setback they might have to grieve. Adoption is a beautiful thing but, like MDJ said, the couple will bring it up on their own terms if they choose to. Of course they have already thought about it; they don't need someone else to give them this "idea".
Amen. 💗
Man you’re so likable! I can’t imagine how awesome it would be to have you as an OBGYN! No BS, just straight talk and options!
“Just” is not a word to be used when people are struggling emotionally. In any situation!!
It's so true! I hate the word "just"!
Yes! This!! As an educator trainer I am constantly reinforcing to stay away from that word. It can be quite harming.
i was told to just get over my depression... yea, not fun. anyone who sees this, please don't say this
As someone who went through premature menopause at 18 I got told "oh you can always just adopt" from people who were trying to give me emotional support. I was never able to verbalize why that comment hit me so wrong until you talked about your patients who deal with infertility.
May I ask how you went into menopause at 18?
@@welcometothewolfpackk2534 It is considered idiopathic, basically they don't know. Premature menopause affects about 1% of women. They think it could be a genetic anomaly or an autoimmune thing that attacked my ovaries. My family has a history of female-related cancers (breast/ovarian/cervical/uterine) so they think it could be on one of the chromosomes. One day I just stopped having natural periods and then a year later with no periods I finally got it checked and my hormone levels were that of a postmenopause woman. I will never really know for sure.
@@Emily-fh8en Have you been tested ti see if hormone therapy would be able to help you have kids in the future?
WelcomeToTheWolfPackk at the menopausal stage the only thing hormone additions would do is lessen side affects of menopause. When at menopause the ovaries all together stop producing hormones, so a replacement is impossible at this moment.
Emily McGuire idle curiosity, how old are you now? I have great compassion for you, this being so rare there aren’t a lot of people who have a similar experience.
That is amazing. We tried everything and finally gave up. I was 39 and right before Christmas in 2006, I waited for my period and became pregnant. I could not believe it. I can relate to this family.
I had so many people ask why we don’t just adopt… so I’m glad you talked about that. Thank you. (We are having our first son any day now after being told IVF would be our only true option. We got pregnant naturally at random)
Took some hunting online because the story is a decade old but a CBC new article titled Woman Gives Birth to Daughter's Triplets Nov 11, 2008 states: "In birth order: Elizabeth, the singleton, weighed in at two pounds, 14-1/2 ounces, Carmina was two pounds even, and Gabrielle tipped the scale at two pounds, nine ounces."
Have yet to be able to find any info on the surgery that was required after though. Sounds like news outlets didn't want to focus on the negative points, just the fun babies.
@@Kwildcat13 Well glad you made it cause that sounds really tiny! Your parents must have had a shock when they discovered there were 3 of you though...
Not as big of a difference as I thought tbh. Makes sense they all turned out super healthy :)
Superior Google-fu! Thank you.
@@amandatschosik9373 But six years later they developed brain tumors, the three girls. Look up their parents names (Kim and Joe Coseno).
@@Kwildcat13 That's so tiny! I'm assuming you were premies? It may just be a part of your life, but the NICU isn't fun for anyone, so it was probably really hard on your parents. How far along were you when you were born? Luckily I didn't have to go through that, I had twins born at 38 weeks (as long as they let multiple go) and one was 6lbs 7oz and the other 6lbs 11oz, which is a pretty decent size for twins. My guess would be that triplets should be about the same size, but I don't know. I imagine depending on the age, no matter how many multiples there are, babies really shouldn't be under a certain size.
I had my son when I was 45. My husband, who died last year from cancer, was told he would not be able to produce children due to all of the radiation from his first and second time with cancer. I had pretty large fibroids that ruptured and ultimately led to a hysterectomy. As soon as I had received my epidural I was rushed in for emergency c-section. The cord was around my sons neck. I had the risks you talked about, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, fibroids and a few other risks. My son will be 9 next week and every bit of all my husband and I went through was worth it. That said, none of this was easy and it came with tremendous stress and concern. What this grandmother did for her family was very selfless and extremely kind.
wait, how did you carry an embryo with a hysterectomy? Was it not a complete hysterectomy?
Romantic Outlaw i think she met after her pregnancy
@@Romanticoutlaw I'm confused too
I had my hysterectomy after my son was born. He was about 6 weeks or so.
So very sorry for the loss of your husband. I'm glad you have your Son. What an unexpected blessing!❤
I'm disabled from Stage 4 Endometriosis, and I had to have a hysterectomy at 25 and don't have any kids, and I can't even begin to explain how frustrating and hurtful it is when people say "well you can adopt" because I honestly don't even know if that would be a realistic option for me. Like I said, I'm disabled, so im broke, and have no hope of that ever changing unless my Endometriosis magically gets more manageable. So not only would I not be able to afford adoption, but I honestly doubt I'd even be approved because if I can't even take care of myself all the time/fully, then how could I ever be approved to adopt children?
"Adoption is an option" is literally *never* an appropriate, or helpful thing to say. Not to mention its only something said by people who 1-have kids, or 2-dont want kids(but can still have them). It's never said by people who can't have kids because we know how hurtful it is.
I got my hysterectomy at 25, and I did a year of prepping with my Endo Dr at the time. I'm 32 now, and I think about the fact that I can't have kids atleast a few times every single day, and I cry about it and really struggle with it atleast a couple times a month or so. It's almost been 8 years, and it still hurts me so damn much, I don't need a stranger to remind me the only (somewhat) option I even have is adoption. Plus, we all know we can adopt, Karen.
Yeah, it is terribly privileged, TBH. Not that IVF is cheap -- I couldn't afford that either (I'm 47 and desperately wanted children since my mid-twenties -- and now it's off the table completely between age and the state of my ovaries). But adoption is honestly even more difficult cause you also have to keep in mind that you, or anyone living with you, being a felon is also an automatic disqualification.
HOWEVER, I have heard of people who have successfully adopted a foster child, and who were able to do foster despite disability and poverty. It really depends on your local Department of Child and Family Services, but it might be worth investigating if you are willing to foster and potentially lose the child if it needs to return to its family. Not everyone has the mettle for that, granted, but if it's something you are willing to deal with, you may be able to go that route.
I'm so very, very, very sorry for your deep, profound & terrible loss. 💔
I was very blessed to have one Miracle baby, but I have lost many, & I know that I am extremely lucky to have had one living child.
There was a time that I had to face the fact that I might not get to become a Mother, & it was _unbearably painful._
It's absolutely heartbreaking--grinding, cutting grief, that I imagine does not go away, to want to be able to give Birth, but not be able to.
And, you are right.
I'm disabled & we were poor, & adopting would have been completely impossible for us.
I wish you comfort, healing, strength, support, Light, & ever-increasing peace. 💗
@@glenn_desert_witch
I offer you the same heartfelt condolences, & wishes for healing that I offered to the lady above.
I'm so very sorry. 💔
I wish you the very best. 💗
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have a friend with Endo. She has lost one child and has been struggling to get pregnant to no avail. They recently decided to take down the nursery. My heart hurts for your and her loss.
@phtm35 I'm so so sorry for your friend, sending her all the love and healing💜💜 that's so hard to go through I'm sure, it must have been a really difficult decision to stop trying.
My mother swears up and down that my twin and I are fraternal twins who went through Twin-to-Twin Transfusion. Listening to you describe what it is and what happens makes me want to see if there’s a test to get that answer once and for all.
Not a mother, won't ever be one. I shouldn't. And I don't want to.
But this makes me tear up for that family.
Line B I completely relate to that.
Me too sis.
Same. It makes me frustrated that people that actually want kids have to go through such difficulties.
@@gilliansillustrations me as well. And many who shouldn't have kids seems to pop out a new baby every so often. Sad.
Well it is also a large problem for those who don't want babies. Doctors won't do hysterectomy for women who are 100% sure they don't want children. I don't want children because I'm very likely to pass on my chronic illnesses, and i don't want to do that to anyone. But doctors won't help me because I'm not 40 with 3 kids...
When it zoomed out on baby #3, I got confused because I was like, "Uhh... That's too high. That's not her womb." Someone probably should have shown them how to read an ultrasound. XD
I can't imagine being pregnant that old..im 31 and pregnancy has been so hard on my body
I had a singleton pregnancy, and then a few weeks after birth I had a twin pregnancy. I had 3 babies under 1. I haven't been pregnant since as I always thought I'd go 1, 2 then 3! 🤣
My ultra sound tech told me like this, "here's 1 and then here's the second" me, what? Huh? The second?
She looks at me and proceeds to apologise as she thought I knew
I love how you defend the people that have to make those kind of dificult decisions. It is good to know that a doctor will have your back no matter what...
Juliya Avidor I know this isn’t the same thing, but my first IUI cycle I had 6 mature follicles and my dr did not give me an option to continue it, he immediately shut it down. And I was told that if we had continued and all 6 were fertilized that I would have a reduction. Given my age & the rest of my history, I wasn’t given a choice because of all of the possible risks. All situations are different though, and it’s so tough to have that be a real possibility for your future.
@Juliya Avidor I know, I’m SO grateful that he didn’t let me be put in that situation. It really confirmed my trust in him, he’s not going to put me or my future babies in danger.
Alina McPherson I didn’t literally mean that I didn’t have a choice. The nurse didn’t actually say “what do you think” but I never felt like I didn’t have an option. They just made it very clear that to continue would be dangerous for me. I had hyper stimulation so there was a risk from that as well as the risk of multiples. If I had continued & gotten pregnant with all 6 then I’m sure he would’ve pressed me to reduce & I would’ve definitely agreed because I *know* that I could not do that.
if adoption is such a difficult process, the process needs to be reworked. I'm a little frustrated that it's easier for a couple to bring a child into abuse and poverty biologically than it is for a deserving parent/couple to give an unwanted child a home.
edit: this post is 4 months old and I’m kind of impressed with the traction it’s gained. I don’t know if I really agree with everything I said in it initially, but I will clarify that when I said poverty, I meant full blown poverty, not lower class. If you’re barely surviving even with government aid, I don’t think it’s ethical to have a child. If you can’t keep the power on, I don’t think you should have a child. If your child is going to have to wear clothes that are too small and ratty and dirty, I don’t think you need a kid right now. Having a child in that position is selfish and unnecessary. It’s just something that you want, not something that will benefit this hypothetical child.
Obviously, unforeseen circumstances don’t count. Obviously, you’re not going to go into having a kid realizing that you’re going to lose your job six months down the line. None of that is what I was talking about. I have nothing but sympathy for families who planned well but got screwed by life anyway. No, what I’m talking about is families in literal poverty who didn’t plan for the life of their child but had them anyway.
It's definitely very frustrating.
Well you cant just snatch kids away from parents. If they chnage their mind nothing you van do or should do...
Agree with you. Adoption is something I do wish was easier. There's so many kids who deserve a better home or an actual home in general. The US foster system is all sorts of wack unfortunately (don't get me started on that). To me adoption is such a complex and endless topic that I could talk all day about. At the same time I understand why it is difficult proccess. I don't know the exact process, but I can speak on my own story (down below) Parent(s) who want to have a bio kid is something I totally understand too; so I don't wish anything bad on anyone if adopting isn't their first choice or if they aren't open to that decision at first. There's so many diffrent factors and emotion for the decision about having kids whether it be biological, adopting, or fostering kids.
Little insight on my family story: I was adopted internationally (from China to the US). My parents said it took about two years from when they started the paperwork- that's considered average wait time I believe. For them, adopting in general wasn't a hard decision, it just fit into their lifestyle and was at the right time. they knew they wanted a second kid. My mom was on hormone therapy for about half a year and she hated it because it caused different health issues. My mom gave birth to my older sibling mid 30s and there was some health complications at my sib's birth. So like said above, adoption fitted really well into their lives (and mine). they said it was a very different emotional experience compared to having my sib.
My dad said they went through extensive interviews with the government and a several different adoption agencies, had their home evaluated more than once ensuring it was good environment. My older sibling who just started talking and forming their own opinons was even interviewed. Some of their coworkers/friends/and other family members had to be interviewed and/or fill out paperwork vouching for them. Im not sure how much the finances in total were, but my dad said it was surprising and defiantly way more than he expected first going in. Don't get me wrong he is very grateful for adopting me and is financially grateful to be comfortable with finances. Pretty crazy that it took over two years not to mention they adopted me at 15 months. So they started the adoption process before I was even born!
haha sorry for my long text wall. thanks for reading my story.
It needs to be thorough, simple usually doesn't allow for thorough checking of adoptive parents and what resources the child needs.
Even when it's all set in motion before the baby is born, it still takes time to be certain that the adults are safe and emotionally equipped to raise a child with significant disadvantages. Even those fostered then adopted by the same family from a few days old can show signs of attachment disorders
Well in a way you would kinda want it to be a difficult process right? I mean adoption shouldn’t be easy for anyone, those strict rules are there for the safety of the child. I get where you are coming from though, cause even people with the best intentions are having a hard time adopting, but tbh I don’t see there being any middle ground with this issue
This sorta reminds me of my moms pregnancy with me. I was a twin but my twin passed away at 4-5 months in the pregnancy, my mom birthed my twin then 1-2 months later realized she was still pregnant with me then I came out on time. I’ve always felt like I was missing a part of me, still think it’s my twins absence.
Your souls are still connected. Talk to them. They are with you always. Make it happy instead of sad. They just got to heaven first. Hugs
Of course you feel the loss, as your parents must, too.
I'm so sorry, for you & your parents, for your terrible, deep, profound loss.💔
I wish you, & your family comfort, healing, strength, support, Light, Hope, & ever-increasing peace.
I'm so glad that you got to be born & I'm sure your parents are, too. ❤️
May your twin rest in peace, perfection, freedom, & joy.❤️
You will see them again.
I know it!
(I've had a Near-Death Experience.)
💗
.
I love that you actually made this video and explained everything because I actually saw this when it aired and my jaw freaking dropped all throughout
I know someone who gave birth to triplets after transferring two embryos-same scenario, a set of monozygotic twins and a triplet. So crazy. I love your commentary, thanks for making this.
I know I woman who had 4 babies, out of 2 embrios! Really, really rare, she was on medical journals around the globe! She has a blog now, but it's in portuguese - 2xgemeos - wich translate to -2xtwins.
Mariana Arantes that’s the same as the Gardner Quads
I was faced with the possibility of selective reduction when undergoing IUI. I had as many as 4 mature follicles. It was a blessing and I conceived only one baby who is now 1 year old!
Rebecca Nicole congratulations 🎉
That's amazing. I'm so glad u became a mother. ✌😀 have a beautiful day with ur family.
Congrats! 🎉
My clinic wouldn’t even let me do IUI if I had more than 3 follicles.
Our last frozen transfer attempt, we had the selective reduction talk because we were transferring our last 3 embryos in a kitchen sink cycle.
Thank you SO MUCH for schooling people on the reality of adoption. It's not an option for everyone and has nothing to do with willingness, I really wish people understood this more. It's ironic that people who seem to think it's so easy and you're just selfish if you don't adopt clearly have never looked into it seriously or else are totally blinded by their privilege.
Amen! I have PCOS and have never experienced being pregnant and when I’ve talked about how disheartening it is to not get pregnant there’s always those handful of people who bring up adoption; not that I have anything against adoption but it’s just not that easy.
Dr Jones: *bunch of medical and technical words I've never heard before*
Me, someone who last saw biology as a senior in high school and almost failed the class: yeah of course.
When my sister had an emergency c-section. From the time of then identifying the baby was in distress to delivery... was about 7 minutes. The nurse walked in, looked at the monitor, walked out. The doctor and a team of nurses walking into the room, put her on O2 and moved her to the OR. It was immediate... there was no option to go home and coming back.
Been there! After a night of extra complications on a very difficult pregnancy they opened ultrasound for the day and I was straight in. Took one look at me, sent me back to my room and said in 10mins you'll be in theatre.
In birth order: Elizabeth, the singleton, weighed in at two pounds, 14-1/2 ounces, Carmina was two pounds even, and Gabrielle tipped the scale at two pounds, nine ounces.
All 3 of the girls have been diagnosed with Atypical Arachnoid tumors. Is that something hereditary? Or possibly a complication of the pregnancy?
At least three different times during this video I was like “yes 👏🏼 mama 👏🏻 go OFF 👏🏼”
"That's just my medical brain asking for medical information from this medical documentary".
-MDJ
Your reactions and facial expressions are priceless. Love it! I can tell how much you loved seeing the babies going home ❤️
I'm so glad you made the distinction on emergent vs. non-emergent C-section. I hear that term get thrown around a lot without it actually being an emergency. My mom had an emergency C-section when she had me. I was born in 9 minutes when they realized I was breached. She said it was one of the scariest moments of her life. She didn't even have time to call my dad to tell him sh was in labor before she was being rolled into theater
This is a wonderful story and I’m happy for them, but I don’t think I could ever risk my mother’s health and life in order to have more children. I couldn’t live with myself if I accepted her offer and something happened to her, then not only would I not have a baby but I wouldn’t have my mother and that would be devastating
That's exactly what I was thinking!! The only plus would be, for me, not the hundred thousand price of normal surrogacy.
I was thinking the same thing !!
Ikr? If she's that good of a mom that she would do that for you I couldn't imagine risking her just to have more kids
I totally agree. There is so much that could have gone wrong.
Do you think you could ever review Jane the Virgin? I've always wondered your opinion and how likely something like that is to happen, if it even could, and if they did it right in the show! :D ( well right as in instruments used and things, bc it seemed suspiciously easy XD)
I think she did the birth episode, but I don't know for sure.
I really, super appreciate how you obviously think about what you are about to say before saying it.
I'm only brand new to this channel, and as a medical professional myself, I appreciate your honesty and sense of humour.
I got pregnant naturally with identical twins. I had severe endometriosis, a tumor in my uterus AND i was 42. I had my girls in 2007. They came early and had health issues. Bur are now very healthy and so smart and beautiful. I thank God everyday for them! 😊
My boyfriend breathed an audible sigh of relief at the first ultrasound when we saw that I'm pregnant with a singleton. Twins run in both of our families so it was a real possibility.
USA BLOWS MY MIND! How can adoption be expensive? I am at the beginning of the process here in the UK and it does not cost a single penny. For anything.
International adoption is expensive. If you foster to adopt (how it works in the US) it doesn't cost anything (well, except in gas money to get to the required classes).
Lawyer fees involved. The lives of the parents' and all their finances are examiners and scrutinized. If there is anything off you'll probably be rejected.
@@argoneonoble Yeah I probably should have added that through foster care they judge you hard, and even if there's nothing illegal/overtly negative they can still reject you if they don't like you for whatever reason. Discrimination is STRONG throughout foster care in the US.
Well, part of the money is due to preventing abuse. you know how shady people show up whenever you say you're giving out puppies and kittens for free? and then later on you learn that those shady people did awful things to those poor animals, like making them bait animals. so when you ask for money for your pet's children instead, only those who are really serious about being pet owners tend to show up instead. Likewise, the same idea with the babies' adoption. sadly there's been a history of child abuse whenever they "gave up" the children for free. children being used as labor, etc.
@E Cox I've heard of it being over $30,000.
I'm so glad you talked about what an emergency c section actually is. I was being induced a week early for medical reasons when my babies heart beat dropped from 170 to 70, then disappeared completely. I was literally rolled straight into theatre in minutes, and from incision to delivery was under 3 minutes. I had to have a GA as I had not had an epidural at that point and there was no time to wait for it so I went from not knowing if my son would make it to coming round with a baby in my arms. Scariest experience of my life.
I started having your videos suggested to me because I'm a recent fetal surgery patient (my unborn son, baby # 3, has myleomeningocele and we were able to have his lesion covered in utero at 25 weeks, 27 weeks currently), so I've been doing a lot of watching videos about strange pregnancy complications, and I have to say, your videos and personality + obviously information are very entertaining. They say laughter is the best medicine, and I believe they're right! Keep up the good work, bringing babies into the world! Always fun to hear from an OB who is actually a Mama. I'll be watching a lot more of your content while I'm on modified bed-rest, I'm sure!
EVERY adoption begins with a loss, for the child it comes with the loss of both its natural parents, for those natural parents it comes with the loss of their child. Please dont treat adopted children like the "second" choice. Ive spent my entire life as an adoptee. No matter how great one's adoptive parents are, we grieve the loss of our mothers.....but we arent allowed to grieve openly, we are expected to be grateful instead. If I had lost my mother in child birth, I would experience sympathy for my loss. I would be not only permitted to grieve when those feelings emerge, but expected to grieve, expected to be curious, people would be happy to tell me all they know about my mother so that her memory can be kept alive. To know also that I was the second choice, that, if it had been possible, my adoptive parents would have preferred their own natural child, was devastating.....and yes, I WAS the replacement for the daughter my mother lost to a true knot in the cord at 39 weeks gestation.....I was even given the same name as her. I love my adoptive parents dearly......but that hurt in ways I cant even begin to describe and was something that no one, least of all my parents understood.....until my father was writing his eulogy (he was dying of cancer, I was nursing him). I typed that eulogy up for him and the evidence that he had finally realized the burden they had placed on me all those years ago was there in writing.......in the text he thanked me for the care I had shown him. He also made mention of the people he would be happy to be reunited with when he died......and referred to that lost daughter by our MIDDLE name, Christine......I asked him about it, after spending quite a while crying.....and he apologized for not having given me my own name.
I believe in adoption when and where it is necessary but I dont believe it should be bandied about as though it is an easy road to parenthood......or when people expect adopted babies to be blank slates. We are born knowing our mothers. To lose your mother at the moment of your birth HURTS.
You should go to therapy and remember you aren't so important.
Wow never seen into that point so deeply and fully understand your sadness/frustration, I hope you can find more peace
Thank you so much for saying this. As an adoptee It helps to see other adoptees speaking out about these things, because i know the kickback you often get. Thank you
@@soda_fairy this is how this is treated actually. It's never said outright but... Some people are utterly emotionally crippled by it and in some states like az adoption is so easy to do so long as you foster to adopt that it's insane. They will even cut children from parents who either shouldn't have had them taken to begin with or who were set to be returned and will flip the switch to push adoption the moment someone says they want to or are willing to adopt the child or children involved. Some families have lost one child but not another because such emphasis exists here. It's absolutely monstrous. And if you have a problem with any of this at any point as the child? Your put in mental health treatment.
If you were in the system as a child the chances of a wrongful "case" being waged against you, even so openly as them not even accusing you of doing anything wrong or failing to do anything specific at all- rises significantly here. Especially if you end up with any sort of mental health diagnosis. I have PTSD. This literally happened to me. Proving that was what it was saved my stepson when his mom list custody of him to CPS for failure to protect him from his stepdad who choked him in the fucking ER, but it did not save or bring back my children.
We weren't rich so we were stuck with whatever passes for representation at the hands of the state. Gene had one that cared. I didn't. That care makes all the difference in the world.
A second cousin of mine was adopted. She couldn't handle life for awhile. Took her longer to get her shit together because that emotional maturity and security just wasn't there and she turned to drugs so three of her kids, her oldest ones, ended up with her adopted mom. The feelings are far too complicated for words and a lot of the emotions are tangled up. She's supposed to see Grandma as mom but she doesn't talk about her like she is but she doesn't know that because she knows no different in her life. She agonizes over the perceived neglect as an adult, as her father and mother "take care of" there younger children in her eyes. But that isn't that they are taking care of them per say, just closer in relationship. Those kids grew up with them and know how to interact with them and they know how to interpret and interact with those kids. It's much the same as with my younger brother who ended up adopted. We were seperated and never quite figured things out in that effect. Some people do. Some don't. It takes both. For her she doesn't even know how to figure.
It breaks families and the children involved. Not learning to acknowledge and heal that or at least how to deal with it is what breaks people down so far they have to struggle to be functional human beings to begin with.
My better half was adopted through foster care. He only celebrates Christmas for kiddo. He otherwise hates it. Because he never found his family. His adopted family yeah but the family he came from. He was born deaf and last he saw her is was about five years or so old , roughly. He never found his mother. His real mother. Not a soul on this planet can convince me his adopted mother is his real mother. That is birth only. The bond is just different. It's never quite like is able to happen when it's like that. Too many people glorify adoption. In my state it's just especially bad.
Even now, twenty years older than me as he is, better half always carries that in himself. An empty spaces where his family, a family he cannot even remember much of anything but that they existed, was taken from him.
That's another thing that gets pushed a lot. The idea that remembering something or remembering well is required for it to effect you. It's not. There are infants who have struggled after being adopted and felt that hole in themselves there entire lives until finding there mothers and fathers etc. It's not dependant upon remembering. It's like our mother used to tell me when I was little, after my father died when I was three years old and was afraid to forget (spoilers I did for a long time- seeing him shot down was just too much for little me as it turns out), "the heart remembers what the mind forgets". Only after remembering did I understand. I'd do things I'd done with my dad. Sit a certain way. As if waiting for him. I just never knew or needed to know why. Sometimes I'd feel like crying at something I just didn't know. Concious memory was gone but the bond had existed and so that was remembered. Just not the context for why.
The fact of the matter is, that this isn't something that should be done willy nilly and def not when there is still family members alive and willing to take them in. Often that isn't even attempted.
That is far less damaging than adoption.
Well spoken. I am sorry for your loss. For what it's worth. I am sorry if that isn't much. I'm also sorry you ended up suffering that. I ended up someone's replacement too. A re do. The only difference was our name. It messed with you a lot. Does some serious damage. I'm sorry you had to go through that you beautiful survivor.
I'm sure your mother, the one who carried you, would be very proud.
Considering the "semantic" mistake they made regarding the emergent c-section, it makes me question how emergent the hysterectomy for fibroids was.
Love all your content!! Thank you.
And i love your little geometric shelf on the wall
You’re so amazing! This is so informative, and you deliver it in a non scary way. 🥰😘😍
I can't imagine how much IVF costs!!!!! We adopted through foster care and it was free! We have an awesome daughter and possibly will adopt again when the time is right.
Cost is different for everyone. From different city’s and clinics and the age of patients it depends on so much. I’ve spent 40,000 total for 2 ivf cycles, 3 transfers, tests, medicine and this is in Las Vegas and I started treatments when I was 27
Actually, it’s not free. Taxpayers fund those adoptions .
@@memorizeitwithmusic612 lol u sound like a republican
@@memorizeitwithmusic612 well thank you tax payers! Haha!
@@memorizeitwithmusic612 Good thing! Better and cheaper for taxpayers to fund an adoption than for taxpayers to fund complete costs of living for homeless children, not to mention that it's better for everyone for these kids to find a loving home rather than not! :)
THANK YOU! I was young (22 years old) when I had my identical twin boys, the Drs suggested that I wait a while to think about getting pregnant again because I was so young when I had twins. Mind you I went 9+ months in the pregnancy, the last three days I could only get around my house like a dog on all fours, yep it wasn't pretty so that thrid day I opted to go to the hospital cause I was already past my 9 month due date. Those boys were almost 8 lbs EACH. But hey, my mom had ten month babies, both me and my brother. Before this my Drs were worried about my 100 lbs weight gain (I went from 125 to 225), NOT ME I ATE EVERYTHING and enjoyed every bite. Yes the weight came off then two years later I had Luke (gained 85 lbs with him) yes I lost that baby weight too. My boys are now 33 yrs old (twins) at 6 ft 5 in tall and a size 15 shoe (no wonder I gained so much weight) Luke is 31 he is of average height and build. It was genetic, my Father's mom (my gmom) was an identical twin and she and her twin sister were born 81 years TO THE DAY (yep same birthdate just an 81 year difference 1905 - 1986) than my identical twins (Drew & Devin) were born. AND they were ALL (both sets of twins) mirror image which means one twin is right handed and the other is a lefty :)
Great video. I love your passion & the need you have to help your listeners to understand why some medical decisions are made. You are such a lovely person & I expect you are a fantastic Dr.
So glad to hear the distinction on emergency C-section. I had 12min from them calling cord prolapse to incision, under general anesthesia.
I was adopted in 95 right when I was born. My adoptive parents (mom and dad) had originally planned to have their own child but she was a stillborn.... they couldn't handle the grief if it were to happen again so they adopted my brother and i.
It took my boyfriend's parents 10 years for their adoption to go through. They were 40 by the time they were approved to adopt a baby girl from China.
Why did they adopt from China when there are 500k children needing adopted in the US?
I'm not asking in a rude way, I'm genuinely curious what made them want to adopt from overseas.
@@bayleewinkler7512 well they knew they wanted a little girl and knew that there's a lot of little girls in China that are living in bad conditions in orphanages. I mean all her teeth were rotten and she was only two! But I've never really asked them that's just what my boyfriend told me.
:( That's unfortunate. My aunt adopted from Canada and it only took three years. The age you adopt and where from will Highly affect the length it takes to get a child. Older kids get adopted less so they're usually a quicker process.
@@samanthat9v awww 😞 I'm so glad they welcomed her into their home. And I hope you know I sincerely wasn't trying to be judgemental about them choosing to adopt overseas, I just wondered. Every child on the planet deserves a loving family, safe home, plenty of basic resources, & access to Healthcare. I'm so so thrilled to hear they brought her into their home away from the horrid conditions she was living In. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m an identical twin and I actually took most of the nutrients and me and my sister were premature and when we were born our umbilical cords got wrapped around our necks and my sister had to stay in the hospital for two weeks and she weighed 3-4 pounds and I weighed 4-5 pounds (I actually don’t know why I commented this but I just wanted too xD)
The carrot's back! I've just started watching your videos, and now I find myself looking for it in every one.
May I make a video suggestion? It might get awkward for some people because it can be such a sensitive topic... but perhaps cover periods, what's normal, what's not normal, myths, etc. I seriously had a friend come up to me and ask why it takes "a week to squirt out an egg" instead of just a few minutes. I pretty much just had to walk away because I couldn't think of a way to answer him without getting snarky and sarcastic.
are you sure you just didnt know the answer? There's no reason to be upset at that question. male and female bodies are different after all.
@@108wee I think it's more of the way its worded. I'm fine with guys asking me about my body but it's how its worded if someone asked me that way I'd walk away too.
@@nicoleemerson5625 With endometriosis, 2 week periods (min) heavy every 2 months, and what one (male, husband of my doctor on vacation) laughingly called "mini labor pains" for 30 years, that friend would be lucky if I just walked away without offering information he didn't want. Best to Google "menstruation" and then maybe ask for corroboration and details.
Just ordered your shirt❤️ I love your semantic comments. It drives me nuts when TV shows or videos give false information to the public. 😷 (retired NICU vent nurse)
This is so beautiful. What a treasure, such a special bond for that grammy/daughter/grand babies/babies. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love this.
My aunt has twins and doctors told her she had the same thing where one baby was taking the nutrients and they said the other would be deformed and not recognizable as a human if they didn’t abort it. They went to many doctors in
different states and they all said that. That was now 8 years ago and she has her perfectly healthy smart sweet boys💕
Thank you! I always just stare at people when they say they had an emergent c-section when it was planned. No, you didn’t, Susan! I had one. I didn’t have time to get extra clothes. I didn’t get told not to eat after a certain time. I didn’t come in for pre-op prep. I went from a birthing bed to the OR because my son’s head was too big to pass through my pelvis and he was stuck. Poor little guy even had a bruise on his head afterward, because of all the hours of pushing.
Also, can we just talk about the fact that doctors assume because a woman is overweight that her baby will be small? I was told 6-7lbs because I’m overweight. He was almost 10lbs. Assumptions, people!
Oh my god, it’s Susan! Hello, lovely. Sounds like you had an emergent c-section too. Glad you and baby were safe. ❤️
Mine was an emergency c-section after 36 hours of labor. Im a big girl and I have never been told that if your overweight you will have small babies. Mine kid was 7lbs 8oz. And spent a little over a week in nicu with a blood infection. Because of the extreme antibiotics they had him on he is now deaf. Hes wonderful
I couldn’t IMAGINE being in ANY of these positions. Hugs to anyone who has been in ANY of these situations. Y’all rock ❤️
As a 28 year old with Turner's thank you so much for bringing up the point about adoption. It is so frustrating when people bring it up as if it's an easy option and I haven't thought of it myself.
They said emergency csection and i cringed!!! Mine was emergent i was on my way to an mri and they literally rerouted last min because my sight was completely gone
That must've been terrifying. Hope everything went well.
Same. My first pregnancy with my daughter she quit moving. When I had a contraction her heart dropped. I went from the room to surgery in about 8 mins. Scary stuff. She is a happy healthy 16 year old now ❤
liiparks everything good! It’s been quite the journey. He just turned 4
I’m with you on the “emergency” c-section. Drives me crazy as a labor nurse to hear people say in their labor story that they ended up with an emergency c-section when it definitely wasn’t one
What would you count as an emergency then? Lots of people I know have different ideas as to what they consider an emergency. I'm curious as to what you as a worker in this field would see as this. I know mine was labeled emergency coz my bub went into fetal distress and ultrasound showed diminishing blood getting through the cord, but others I know didnt consider it an emergency
@@eternitydoor I'm not a medical professional but I'm pretty sure emergency c-sections are usually done when vaginal births become too risky for the baby and/or the mother. It's more of an emergency because it was not planned to give birth by c-section.
eternitydoor often people have “unplanned” c-sections, when their labor isn’t progressing or baby isn’t dealing well with contractions or not tolerating pushing or mom develops a fever and on and on the reasons go. But an emergency or STAT c-section is when things turn in an instant, and any delay could cause major harm to mom or baby. Usually you are prepped and in the OR in minutes. The baby may have a slow heart rate that isn’t recovering despite interventions, or there is a bleed like a placental abruption or a uterine rupture, life threatening situations like that means everyone gets that patient to the OR ASAP! From decision to cut to delivery of the baby is usually less than 15-20 minutes in what I’ve seen
I had an emergency c section. From the c section being called in ED to baby being born was 12 minutes.
Placental abruption. Damn near killed me.
Jade Mckechnie yes you definitely had an emergency c-section
Just found this video and you. Loved this and how well you explained all the complications. When you mentioned that 2 lb was small, it made me realize just how small my older brother was when he was born! He was a premature baby, weighing 1lb 7ounces at birth. He has some problems with his lungs still to this day, but he's a pretty healthy adult in his 40s.
SIDE NOTE:
The "You don"t get to be OFFENDED by SCIENCE" shirt is amazing!!!
This is beautiful. I hope Jackie gets to live with them the rest of her life and watch the babies grow and be a part of their lives.and so they can all take care of Jackie as she ages.💖💖💖
The stigma against the selective reduction thing really irks me. I'll typically hear people refuse this service citing "playing God". However, in most cases, selective reduction is recommended when the only reason that pregnancy was able to happen was thanks to medical intervention, so you already put yourself in an unnatural state to begin with (humans really aren't equipped to handle litters). I saw a really tragic video a few years ago (couldn't tell you what it was called, don't remember) where a woman who used IVF to get pregnant and ended up with 6 or 8 embryos refused this service (the doctors were recommending cutting it back to maybe 3 or 4 to increase the chances that any of them would live). Unfortunately, she gave birth, and none - NONE - of the babies survived. Had she selectively reduced her pregnancies, she could have saved some of them. Like Mama Doctor Jones said, it's not just about the person who is pregnant - you are also jeopardizing the health of the what otherwise would have been viable babies. When you make the choice to get pregnant using medical science that increases your risk for large pregnancies like that, you need to be responsible about it, and when the doctor recommends something to decrease risk to the babies, you need to listen to them. This show seems to only focus on the rare positive cases where everything worked out fine. It often doesn't, and they shouldn't push this narrative that selective reduction is only about the pregnant person (although think of how tragic that would have been had the grandma died, as she implied she would prefer over selective reduction: grandma and all 3 babies could have died).
@@Ratisha_Official I don't see where I passed any judgement on her, I only stated facts. The FACT is she used an unnatural method to get pregnant and chose not to listen to her doctors to increase her chances of having any of them survive. Yes, even with selective reduction, nothing is certain, but the chances of them surviving would have been much better (that's not an opinion, that is a fact). I don't really judge her for making that call -- I judge people who try to push the narrative that "all abortion is murder", even in cases like hers where it would have actually prevented deaths. Maybe doctors need to do a better job screening/educating their patients to let them know that if they're not prepared to selectively reduce their pregnancies when it is called for, this procedure really isn't a good fit for them. I don't know if the video I saw was the same one you are referencing, but if it is and if what you said is true, that's awful that people were threatening her. That poor woman went through enough.
@Alina McPherson I'm glad to hear she had a happier outcome later on.
I'd never kill one of my babies
My mother decided against it. Because we were already growing inside of her. But man, I was born at 2.14 pounds. They were scared for me. Turned out alright. (My mother had a C-section)
I was told to selectively abort two of my three TRIPLETS in 2003 and I said NO. Guess what? ALL 3 BABIES WERE BORN COMPLETELY HEALTHY AT 35 WEEKS, NO NICU, NO COMPLICATIONS, NOTHING BUT HEALTHY TRIPLETS. So please take your selection abortion rhetoric somewhere else.