How to set consequences for your teenager (follow THESE 5 steps)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2024
- In today’s video we’re talking about discipline and setting consequences for our teenager. A lot of parents wonder how to set consequences so their teenager will stop or start doing a behavior the parent wants them to do. This can be a little tricky sometimes, but in this video I’ll give you the 5 steps you need to take to set appropriate consequences with your teenager.
Setting consequences is about teaching your child what you want them to know or what they need to know in most cases. It’s not about punishment, it’s about teaching. When we can remember this, it helps us to set appropriate natural consequences as a teaching tool not as an arbitrary punishment.
We also have to ask ourselves in each moment “what does my teenager need to learn here and how can I help them learn it in the best way possible?” Sometimes we resort to how our parents disciplined us and assume that it’s what we should do with our child, but if your parents didn’t do these 5 steps I’m going to give you, then I want you to re-think following the same form of discipline your parents used with you….because there is a better way!
Check out the video here to learn how to process your emotions the RIGHT way:
• Do THIS before you tal...
If you'd like more help setting consequences for your teenager, click on the link below:
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Click here for the book "What do you Stand for" by Barbara Lewis
www.amazon.com/What-You-Stand...
Click here for the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz
www.amazon.com/Four-Agreement.... - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
What if they don't wanna go out and meet friends, they don't wanna communicate they don't care about anything anyone at all? They don't even wanna know you, how do you even start to communicate and understand what's going on? 😢
Maybe you could find a way to have fun, laugh and spend time with them to improve the connection in the relationship so they will feel safe with you to open up and be themselves so they respect you and trust you.
What u have them come over instead
@@kathrynmansfield4134 thanks for your suggestions but easier said than done. Ungrateful kids don't appreciate your efforts in taking care of them and making their lives better, they take whatever you give and blame you for anything that are not in their favour. Couple of days ago I encouraged my son to go out with friends and play squash at a set and agreed time in order to get him away from gaming a bit. This was arranged a week in advance and agreed by him but I was still angered and blamed by him when it was time to go because he wouldn't want to leave his game. He eventually went and had a great time but came back with a stern face and not even a single word of appreciation. Not gonna lie but he was a lovely cute happy polite little boy before secondary school but now a completely different person. I really miss the little boy. Now I'm walking egg shells everyday trying not to trigger his anger, n sometimes I felt better not say or do anything at all. This space is never enough to write down the full picture but hopefully you get what I mean. If they don't want to hear you and be with you, then whatever you do is shun out.
@@Shemar-sj1mi nothing
How’s it going with you? That sounds like my 16 year old right now. Every time I ask them to do anything there’s a refusal and often there’s anger and yelling calling me names, etc. If I ask how are you doing? Or pretty much anything else the past little while especially, I get anger. No talking to me just grunting and then if I ask what’s wrong or if you’re OK then it’s bad. I feel like my own child hates me and it’s a terrible feeling but literally nothing to say is ever right
This is great for the normal teen
My girlfriends ADHD kid does not work with this style. He has been all kind of discipline problems. She just says it's ADHD.
Why didn't I discover you 3 years ago! Thank you.
Thank you
I like your videos so much. Thanks
What if they just will not have a conversation. What if any attempts to start any kind of conversation or met with anger?
OK so I’m partway through three minutes when you make your expectations clear weather in writing or verbally and you asked me do you understand? Yes are you sure yes do you have any questions or anything confusing to use or something that you want to add no 10 minutes later they break tthey break the rule.
U are awesome
My teenager is bigger than me and doesn’t listen to me omg help lord Jesus
I understand. I have no idea what to do myself. I cry a lot.
My son Lies ! He’s still vaping 😢 took 4 from his school bad , when he FINALLY left it alone for a minute. What’s next??? 😞😞😞
So my husbands nephew, hes 15 and the entire family is all out dysfunctional so he has no idea what family should be or how to be respectful. We live with our grandmother and she has custody of him and she has no idea how to set boundariea, keep them, or how to issue discipline. She just says hes fknna do it anyway and throws her hands up until shes on the edge of unleashing her anger in a. Unheakthy outburst that does no good whatsoever. I can clearly see the issues enabling his inappropriate behaviors but as far as consequences i dont have the first clue what to tell her. When the adults ariund him as inspiring his delinquency its hard ti say to him this is not okay. Like the otber dah i ck fronted him finally for repeatedly coming into our room whenever he pleases and taking whatever he wants to take. He jhst said, i dont know i was mad so i ddstroyed your shit. All i could think to say was you really sound like a child right now. Didnt make any kind of impressuon on him as he proceeded to ransack our things the moment we had to leave to run an errand. Being tbe married in aunt also makes me his favorite target. So, im on the verge of losing my cool with him myself.
What do you mean, let them know they have a choice when they don't follow expectations? Do you mean they have choice in punishment? Or that they have a choice to do the expectation and if they choose not to, then they get the punishment?
What if I've tried all these things and they've been punished they've had their things taken away and all they always say is I don't know to everything what can I do?? HELP!!!!!
Stop taking their things it probably the only comfort they have
@@RoslynWilliams-cc5qr so what do you do then? What works? Try so hard to just have a conversation and it doesn’t work.
I feel you! I’m dealing with the same thing! A 12 year old girl
Thank you for the advice and nice tips. Please talk slowly. Also, the sound quality is not good, it’s muffled and has feedback.
What if you're kid doesn't want to hang with friends or everr go outside? What consequences then??
Take electronics away
💖Great vídeo!
2nd
Gay