Thank you for the video. I’m not sure what to do when my partner is uncomfortable in a social setting. He might pick a date night or agree to see my friends, but he becomes so reserved and quiet. He has trouble focusing on conversation and just feels uneasy. He might people watch and complain or judge others a lot. Usually I can handle it but sometimes it’s such a downer and ruins my experience. What can I do so we can have more fun together outside of the house?
Hello, I am in a situation and I was wondering if you could provide some guidance. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few months. Everything is still pretty new but we have been clicking so well that we are starting to take things to the next level. We sleep over at each other's places most nights of the week, we have a weekend getaway planned next week, and I have met his entire family. My boyfriend has really severe social anxiety, so I haven't been able to get him to meet any of my friends or family for anything longer than a two-minute interaction. I feel as though I have been pretty patient, I don't pressure and when I do invite him somewhere, I always make sure that he knows he can say no. But I don't know what else to do. I really thought that after I met his entire family (13 people) during an overnight camping trip, he might be more open to starting to meet my people. I have even asked him how he would like to meet people, like what environment and who he would like to meet first, but he only wants to do quick two-minute interactions. I don't really know what to do, I am in this weird space because the last thing I want to do is make him feel bad for something that he clearly struggles with but at the same time, I am starting to get upset (and so is my family who think I am purposefully keeping him away) that the answer is always no. How long should I give him to adjust to the idea? How do I approach a conversation that will show him I care about his feelings and don't want to pressure him, but that will also tell him that for me, I need him to at least try to meet them. I love him, but I feel as though we won't be able to continue moving forward in this relationship until these things are addressed. Any advice you have for me is greatly appreciated, I really don't want to mess this up.
Hi Sydney, thanks for your comment. What you describe happens quite often. It seems as though you have been patient and comprehensive, so you have probably done a good job in showing him that you care about his feelings and respect his situation. It's important to note that your wish is very reasonable, and you have the right to expect from your partner that he meets your family and spends some time with them here and there. If this is something that is bothering you, you have all the right to address this problem with him. As you mentioned, maybe he needs some time to adjust to the idea. However, your well-being and desires are just as important as his, so be sure they don't take a backseat for too long, as this may have negative consequences on your relationship. People with this degree of social withdrawal/avoidance usually benefit from starting therapy. In this specific situations (meaning that your relationship is affected by his anxiety) you may want to talk to a mental health professional specialized in couple's therapy. Also, you may benefit from having a look at our article on how to help someone with social anxiety: www.conquersocialanxiety.com/how-to-help-someone-with-social-anxiety/ or our article on social anxiety and romantic relationships: www.conquersocialanxiety.com/social-anxiety-and-relationships/
Btw, for online couples therapy, we recommend online-therapy.com - if you are interested in having a session to talk this through with your boyfriend and a professional, feel free to use our affiliate link, which will give you a 20% discount: www.online-therapy.com/?ref=290271 All the best!
Hi Sydney, it's been a year, so, I wondered how you have adjusted, or not? (Not being nosey please don't respond if u think that) I personally have some social anxiety but my husband has it very bad. It's been thirty years and still he is the same. I suppose HE needs to want to change and that that change is very difficult. I hope I haven't enabled him to not be healed😣. Some days his toxic dilemmas make me so tired and queezy........still after all this time. Recently I found out he has been using something to help himself cope (which doesn't help from my perspective). He swore it off almost 20 years ago but started using again only a couple years later behind my back. Even tho I have a healthy amount of empathy, in order for him to cope he has been deceptive with me. It makes me wonder if he has been deceptive in other ways too. So that's how it has turned out fast forward 30 years. I hope you are well. ❤My go to is Jesus!
I know I'm 8 months late, but... Perhaps you're the one with anxiety, and want to know how it'd affect your future relationships. Or maybe you're just informing yourself in case you ever end up involved with a socially anxious person. Sometimes we watch videos because we're just curious creatures and like to learn about a variety of things lol.
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Why does the beginning of this video sound like the ending of a car commercial? Lol.
How do you handle it when in public, like doing errands?
Thank you for the video. I’m not sure what to do when my partner is uncomfortable in a social setting. He might pick a date night or agree to see my friends, but he becomes so reserved and quiet. He has trouble focusing on conversation and just feels uneasy. He might people watch and complain or judge others a lot. Usually I can handle it but sometimes it’s such a downer and ruins my experience. What can I do so we can have more fun together outside of the house?
so true 🥲
Hello, I am in a situation and I was wondering if you could provide some guidance. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few months. Everything is still pretty new but we have been clicking so well that we are starting to take things to the next level. We sleep over at each other's places most nights of the week, we have a weekend getaway planned next week, and I have met his entire family. My boyfriend has really severe social anxiety, so I haven't been able to get him to meet any of my friends or family for anything longer than a two-minute interaction. I feel as though I have been pretty patient, I don't pressure and when I do invite him somewhere, I always make sure that he knows he can say no. But I don't know what else to do. I really thought that after I met his entire family (13 people) during an overnight camping trip, he might be more open to starting to meet my people. I have even asked him how he would like to meet people, like what environment and who he would like to meet first, but he only wants to do quick two-minute interactions. I don't really know what to do, I am in this weird space because the last thing I want to do is make him feel bad for something that he clearly struggles with but at the same time, I am starting to get upset (and so is my family who think I am purposefully keeping him away) that the answer is always no. How long should I give him to adjust to the idea? How do I approach a conversation that will show him I care about his feelings and don't want to pressure him, but that will also tell him that for me, I need him to at least try to meet them. I love him, but I feel as though we won't be able to continue moving forward in this relationship until these things are addressed. Any advice you have for me is greatly appreciated, I really don't want to mess this up.
Hi Sydney, thanks for your comment. What you describe happens quite often. It seems as though you have been patient and comprehensive, so you have probably done a good job in showing him that you care about his feelings and respect his situation. It's important to note that your wish is very reasonable, and you have the right to expect from your partner that he meets your family and spends some time with them here and there. If this is something that is bothering you, you have all the right to address this problem with him. As you mentioned, maybe he needs some time to adjust to the idea. However, your well-being and desires are just as important as his, so be sure they don't take a backseat for too long, as this may have negative consequences on your relationship. People with this degree of social withdrawal/avoidance usually benefit from starting therapy. In this specific situations (meaning that your relationship is affected by his anxiety) you may want to talk to a mental health professional specialized in couple's therapy. Also, you may benefit from having a look at our article on how to help someone with social anxiety: www.conquersocialanxiety.com/how-to-help-someone-with-social-anxiety/ or our article on social anxiety and romantic relationships: www.conquersocialanxiety.com/social-anxiety-and-relationships/
Btw, for online couples therapy, we recommend online-therapy.com - if you are interested in having a session to talk this through with your boyfriend and a professional, feel free to use our affiliate link, which will give you a 20% discount: www.online-therapy.com/?ref=290271 All the best!
Hi Sydney, it's been a year, so, I wondered how you have adjusted, or not?
(Not being nosey please don't respond if u think that)
I personally have some social anxiety but my husband has it very bad. It's been thirty years and still he is the same. I suppose HE needs to want to change and that that change is very difficult. I hope I haven't enabled him to not be healed😣. Some days his toxic dilemmas make me so tired and queezy........still after all this time. Recently I found out he has been using something to help himself cope (which doesn't help from my perspective). He swore it off almost 20 years ago but started using again only a couple years later behind my back. Even tho I have a healthy amount of empathy, in order for him to cope he has been deceptive with me. It makes me wonder if he has been deceptive in other ways too. So that's how it has turned out fast forward 30 years. I hope you are well. ❤My go to is Jesus!
So…why am I watching this video when I’m single?
I know I'm 8 months late, but...
Perhaps you're the one with anxiety, and want to know how it'd affect your future relationships.
Or maybe you're just informing yourself in case you ever end up involved with a socially anxious person.
Sometimes we watch videos because we're just curious creatures and like to learn about a variety of things lol.