Who cares what the Narc feels? Seriously. Once you’ve ascertained that you’re dealing with one of these vampires, just leave forever and never respond again. That’s what I did when I left my husband. He was upset that I was finally over him like he’d always been over me. Who gives an F what these people think, feel, or experience? Leave them where they lie, and move on.
it has been 8 years now, and I am stuck, don't get me wrong, I have much more now than I ever had with him, my soul is seriously damaged, it's such a shame
@@gabigolding186 - I fully understand. These people are destroyers. When you find out and believe how wonderful, lovable, and valuable you are, that this isn’t your fault, you will get unstuck. Don’t let anyone invalidate your pain and response to being disregarded like you meant nothing. Here’s the truth - you ARE an invaluable human being deserving of love, and to be treated with kindness and respect. Who you are and what you are is true. What he has communicated to you through words and deed has absolutely nothing to do with your worth. Bless you.
Exactly, as soon as I realised he was a narcissist, it put me off him straight away! I might as well have been told he was gay, because it instantly made me realise there was no future with him.
they do have feelings towards you, you are everything and nothing all at the same time. they dont want you feel good.... unless they made you feel good' they have feelings for you' the problem is they want your feelings' they want the controller' i think its cause someone stole theirs when they was 6 and if you dont give them your controller they will take it' be that by force or you will give it them and you will want to give it them' and when you do they feel like they have control. if they lose it they will always feel something for you. they will never forget' every person I met who I would say are narcissistic are weak emotionally weak. they are just trying to protect them by using yours. dont let them play with the controller.
without you he hasn't got a controller he has no self. to him you are everything yet nothing at the same times' he just go find another controller untill he finds one that works. it is that simple to him he will feel gutted that it didn't work with you cause now he needs to buy I new one... you must be broken' they broke you by throwing you at a wall cause they didn't win lol they never throw you out' you go in the shed with all his bits n bobs' his thing's. they dont forget and they dont let go. they love their toys. like a serial killer how they have to keep something off their victim' when they meet you they want you and they never want let you go. they remember cause if they ever feel vulnerable they can remember they have you locked down in the shed' even if it is just a thought' its there's and for abit they can relieve the memory of the time when he was so great. then that thought eats at hims. I feel for the narco. cause them too are victims. yet they are a huge pain in my arse lol.
We empaths are definitely stronger than narcissist because we are not afraid to be alone, They are!!. That's what makes us most important. We know ourselves to be very valuable , very worthy and if the narc still wants revange that's because he or she will never have what we have. Peace inside us! 😌
fantastic, and so true we cannot lose a person as we respect their will. we are stronger I feel they hate just that. Buddistic here: life is letting go also those we love most if needed it does not change one thing in contrary it is life.
They miss the control they exerted over us, and that threatens them, . They miss the "supply" or "fuel" we provided. They also are plunged back to pain of their childhood when someone they needed to trust disappointed them, and they project that pain onto us. They also miss the example of character traits of ours that they like to mimic to get "supply" or "fuel" from others. They also, I believe however short-lived, come face to face with the fact that the fake person they present to the world, and the person they really are. It is very short-lived and they expereince it as a rage, not as an understanding of what they did. They project their behavior and the fault onto us. They are angry that we leave them and they see it as us slighting them. "How dare they walk away, who do they think they are?" Unlike us, they don't feel it unless they think of us, someone else mentions us, or they see us. Then their emotions come back up. Otherwise they are focused on the "supply" or "fuel" in front of them. I left the "friend" who showed herself to be a narc. with clarity with a week long spree of ( stupidly making it completely clear what she was) and she's be un-relentless with hoovering attempts. First it was texts and calls, when those didn't work, she started sending cards or sending it through someone who knows us both to make it look like nothing has changed. It's been only like once a month etc. but consistent cards and money ( just small amounts). Each card has a slightly different tactic. She's run through almost all the ones I believe to try to find common ground with me. I think the hoover is to pull us back so they can discard us and pay us back for the audacity we had to leave them. It's payback time, and time for them to unleash their fury on us. HD it rings a bell that they have hatred and animosity that you left them, cause the "friend" narc. refuses to accept that anything has changed at all. All cards sound as though nothing has changed except her fake apologies that are shallow and meaningless, and it's clear she is writing what she thinks I want to hear. I'm actually able to laugh now and say, "There she goes narcing it again. I'm pretty sure she's the mid range narc., a baby narc. She's been un-relentless, but in a baby narc. way.
After a long while, I knew I was done with my narc. It was a slow process to escape. I would see him less and less but he still wanted his fuel. We had a terrible hurricane in our state and I had too much on my plate to see him. He was getting tired of my excuses to not see him. I told him I had developed a lot of wrinkles and looked old and tired. Haven't heard from him for a few years now.
People keep saying that narcissists DON'T care about others, but it's worse than that; they CAN'T care. They know right from wrong, but they just can't care.
The victim of a narcissist is always at fault. The narcissist’s fury is very real when they lose you. Run & don’t look back. Learn from it & move on. They will drain an empath to depletion if you don’t exit the relationship.
@@ekaterinabalderdash1274 no mine wont i am exiting i have always fought back. I may be a but of a narc myself. I enjoy sparring with him. He has already shown his other side to others. And yes he smeared me. But he has caused all kinds of trouble and confusion at his job they believe me. He works at the same hotel we live at so they have heard the fights. He hates women his mom raped him for 8 years but he respects all men. Usually the low level kind the scum of the earth.
I have him completely blocked on everything. He got wasted and showed up middle of the night with a gun. Thank God it jammed and cops got there in time
Yes...they live off attention...ANY attention .my ex narc had zero friends and therefore smothered me and the minute I was out of his sight accused me of lying and cheating CONSTANTLY ...he even likes arguing and blamed me for EVERYTHING. I dumped him...and yes ..he lovebombed me .nutso
@@theresefournier3269 because “they”-deep down-understand that there is no eternal experience. That’s a bunch of nonsense people like you, use to feel better about being duped so easily and for so long.
They don't lose you. They lose the feeling you gave them. But they miss it. It's always a thi thing not a you. Everything is fine. Stay blessed all empaths
Absolutely ,he saw the way I looked at him with Absolutely love in my eyes ..then he saw his own reflection in my eyes looking back at him and he will never, ever know a love as strong as I had for him.
Hearing a narcissist refer to a partner leaving the relationship as an ‘escape’ makes me all the more convinced that I am doing the right thing in wanting to divorce my narcissistic husband. Thank you.
I left after 33yrs. It's not been without it's grief and hard awful moments but I met a fabulous man who treats me so beautifully. My ex was surprised I divorced him. He simply thought that after a while I would go back to him. Typical.
They gonna beg cry and say they'll never misbehave as usual. So weak and low live pathetic individual vampires. Move on and heal beautiful empathic people! And never look back those sickos!
@@sylvialaney4138 i take you're not a victim of narcissistic abuse, otherwise you would never have said that, they don't know remorse, they know what they do is wrong and do not care, they're extremely destructive, and cannot be rehabilitated, as they are too arrogant and self righteous and will destroy a person completely if they can't have their way, they have no regard for any living being whatsoever, everything that lives is just another object to exploit, abuse and destroy as they please.
Out of the 200+ texts he sent me since I left 7 weeks ago,Not one said .. 1..I'm sorry I take full responsibility for my actions! 2.. I miss you! ( Instead he says) I miss your massages I miss you making me coffee I don't like being alone in bed I am lonely and sad. I, I,I,I,I,I..... it's all about them...my gosh... I'm so glad I got out of that Prison without Walls.
Absolutely all about them because in their minds there is nobody else who matters or has feelings or needs. Amazing how small their world really is. I'm glad you noticed it.
Yessss!! IKR.. All I get is “HEY, answer your phone, Hey, I Need to talk to you, Hey can u pick up, HEY don’t do this, Hey can u please talk to me, Hey I apologize BUT I need to talk ”. What.. you forgot my name!??? I Didn’t hear not ONE time “Hey baby I miss you , I love you, I need you, I wanna see you ”, and he love bombed my for 10 yrs!!! ... they are evil trolls!!
LOVE THIS. YES! THAT IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART. My narc would hit me...yell at me...destroy my possessions..call me a whore...slap me..choke me...take my car and drive drunk with no license...threaten to kill my family...insult my looks my intelligence...make fun of my "privelege"...kick me...twist my wrists and say "one more twist and it will break"...keep me up til the sun rose, screaming at me, in order to exhaust and punish me and make me delirious...rape me...And he never apologized afterwards. If I called the cops, he would berate me for it later. He didn't even believe I had a reason to call the police. Nothing is EVER their fault. All bad things that happen are someone else's fault. As their primary fuel source, everything is YOUR fault. Accepting fault would mean losing control. Their biggest fear. One more reason to leave and NEVER look back.
guarding phone...likes a drink...no feelings except anger...no loyalty or respect...loves attention... All the symptom's to watch for... What is the hardest thing is you never meant anything to them..
Having a narcissist in your life is like having a child that never leaves never grows up and needs constant attention and it’s the most annoying energy and type of people that exist. I would think if you were a narcissist the last thing you would be is aware of it, and be wiling to help anyone understand. I am a super empath and intuitive. Narcs are UNAWARE people who really just did not grow up and are forever stuck in their ego. I feel many narcissist’s are exactly that, Immature. They are stuck in this childlike - ego- centric almost stupid state of existence where they have absolutely no concept of anything or anyone outside of their own feelings about it. Like a underdeveloped human being or a child that is stuck in that pre-pubescent state forever! 💡👍🏻
@tsimone10 yes I know. They take sick twisted pride in a diagnosis .. it somehow exonerates them from actually having a heart and soul evolving on the planet this time and doing the beautiful inner work to know who they really are. None are capable of being a fully functioning human being. A glamorous certificate to be a fraud! An entitlement that empaths chosen ones for real, authentic gifted people and even normal people are not impressed with. 👍🏻😷😵🤮🤒
Please listen to him. We don't often get a second chance and it is our children who pay the price. Over and over family are destroyed because we cannot wrap our minds around this basic truth. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! YOU CANNOT FIX HIM! So please stop and just leave. Trust me. Your life will be so much better. ❤️
My mom was narcissist with six children. Of course, everything was our fault. One good thing about 6 kids is 5 scattered like rats while the whipping person got the physical & emotional abuse. It doubled when my dad split and left us there. As we aged we would usually manage to escape or age out. We always tried to get someone out with you. It took several years for us to get the last 2 out. I decided when I was 6 that she would never see me cry. I took up a lot of her time. I think a narcissistic parent is harder on one or two children. Several can seem to keep some stability going. What does HG think? She never quit screaming at us until she died. The best think I ever did for myself was to forgive her. Sincerely.
Yes unfortunately they are humans with a demonic entity attached to them - their low vibe personalities attracted a spirit that uses their body and brain to finish the Job they couldn’t in the last life- they are truly demonic and it’s no joke...
They only “care” in the sense that their ego was wounded - but yes as soon as their attention is diverted we are just the former object that’s on their shelf forever.
@@melissadyanzartman6430 you nailed it. My ex has green eyes that I saw turn black one night when she was drunk and out of control. guess that's why they call alcohol spirits. scary stuff.
Oh yes, according to him he did "His dead level best to make me happy" when in reality he made my life a living hell for 5 years. Their perception is that they r perfect of course. I escaped 3 months ago. So much happier knowing I am free of the constant abuse and walking on eggshells. Yes, it hurts but I made the choice to love myself more.
Pamela Kelley Good on you and I'm totally free now too! I'm still in the process of stopping contact with other highly narcissistic people in my life; however, the main thing is that I'm not in a romantic relationship with one anymore. ❤
And even if they disengage, they expect a huge "please don't leave me!!!" moment.When you go "ok fine, bye now", they don't take it well.At first they figure it's coming because how could it not? How could you, a lesser being , who was fortunate enough to have any of their magnificent presence poured out on you, not immediately lay prostrate on the floor , grabbing their ankles in an effort to get them to stay.Surely the begging, pleading phone calls must follow, no? When you deny them any further contact and show no emotion, they get in sensed and very, very angry.
Spot on. The abandonment experienced triggers off the unbearable pain of childhood. That's why narcassists need self compassion...to spend time healing their deeply wounded inner child..who deserves justice. The problems start when they, as a deeply wounded person, seeks to "settle the score" with an innocent third party rather than with the person who abused them first. They "pay forward" the hate and pain rather than giving that pain back (mentally) to the abusive parent.
Fuck their inner damned child. They’re grown ass adults and they ought to reap what they sow. In a just world they would. As it is they just move on and ruin someone else’s life.
Ah, their biggest asset is confusion. Love bombing making you totally super, then degrading once the desired emotional feedback is given. Detaching by ghosting, usually because new source, then just as your recovering appearing at your door. Empathy is your downfall. It takes,a few cycles for you to see. Trauma bonding is not love. Eventually the love bombing fails or you get to read them and the next time the hint of devaluing happens, your gone. I guess they test you to see how cruel they can get away with being. Master manipulators, but also you get to see through this. It gets old. But what spiritual growth, and mighty if self love is your reward. Meanwhile they are left with everything they gave you, in lockdown with no more sources or entertainment .No flying monkeys to send in and you have completely detached as everybody ultimately does. The reason you cant deal with them is nothing is true, they cant handle it absolutely no self reflection, no honesty.
Exactly!! Confusion and anxiety, wondering what you did, should have/could have done. Then, smiles and big hugs and everything is fine, until randomly, the next time.
Wow I'm dealing with a narcissist .He cheats blames me for causing him to cheat, ghosts me, come back after a while act nice I actually nearly lost my mind had I not found this in time because I didn't understand why he cnt love me the way I loved him.
You're not loved, cared for or appreciated… you're just providing them with whatever it is that they're using you for. So when you leave and cut off all contact… they feel pretty much the same as when they would've lost a pair of worn out slippers. They'll just start wearing the new ones, that they already have… And they will be so much better.. undamaged and brand new…much more comfortable
I left my narc last Fall. Then a few months later we got back together JUST so he could dump me, this time. It really mattered to him that he had the final word. Great video.
@@danparish1344 that's not true, and don't try to make Lisa feel bad about being HUMAN. the pain these people inflict on good, loving people is so damaging...so having bad thoughts of revenge IS normal until you can heal and realize that it wasn't your fault. Shame on you for trying to shame her, jerk.
@@scuttletheship656 no is not and what is wrong with you? calling names to someone with a diferente opinion?? seeking revenge is a sign of unhealthy and hurt ego, the same thing that gives birth to narcissism, obsessing and reminiscent are signs of trauma bond. Normal people want to understand and get distante from the source of pain, not to endulge in petty power games with a unhealthy being.
I actually got my narcissist to leave and run away from me, when I turned on him and kept it up 24/7. I became incensed at being a slave for years, and finally did a massive slave revolt on him, swore at him constantly, walked off if he tried to even speak to me, if he followed me to continue, I'd tell him "I don't care what you say - you're stupid." payback and then some. He couldn't stand it and ran away.
The red flag is their past relationships. When they first mention it you see them as victims. However, in hindsight, w out the emotional thinking, you realize they clearly told you everything wrong w them. I remember meeting an ex partner and being told his ex wife "drained the bank account, took the kids, and left in the middle of the night." When I told my mother about this, instead of feeling sorry for him, she immediately responded "Why? That sounds like desperation to me." But beyond that they tell you exactly what is about to happen. Are they cheaters? Bad with money? And so on. And the details are hidden in their rants about their ex's. Red flag: past relationships
It usually ends up being that the kids' mom fled for her life with kids, took the little bit left in the bank. I had to leave and stay in a DV shelter in the past. After being stalked and trafficked by said stalker... That sounds like a possibility.
A narcissistic person hates being alone more than anything. They hate themselves and that is why they crave any company and jump from relationship to relationship... Very weak and insecure people... They create hell for any empath.
It really is an escape! I had to leave in the middle of the night with what I had on! I never thought that scenario would happen to me.. but it did! There was also no going back to get my things as it was too dangerous! He destroy all my possessions. I wasn’t allowed to get away with leaving him. I now have nothing of material things but I am so much happier! X
Congratulations. I left the lunatic narcissist on a hot summer's day by driving to the airport with just the clothes on my back. I paid for my ticket to Europe with a credit card. The narcissist flew to Europe to hoover me but I didn't bite. The narcissist got married a while ago and posted wedding pictures on Facebook. I was indifferent. I'm a happy camper today.
Good to hear this. Left both my narc relationships, one was an escape, the other I wasn’t living with him so it was easier to leave, but he turned on the water works and I laughed in his face. Saw him as a pathetic man. He had such rage and smashed some of my personal items in the street. I was gutted but didn’t show him, just got in my car and drove away. So good to hear how much this hurt them!
I went to pick up my items from his house and he threw them out of the front door and slammed it. Oh he was wounded and furious, this usually very controlled man. I laughed so he could hear me. It felt good and I am relieved. My emotional thinking has been dialled right down thanks to HG's life lessons, for which I am grateful
When I left my husband of 14 years, I was collecting things on our front porch, he went and sat in his car, and let out a guttural, almost animalistic scream. I’d never heard anything like it. Chilling.
It's cause you weren't doing/acting how he wanted. You weren't his "wife" anymore. (I put it in quotations because emotional vampires see people as their object, much how you own your phone. They label people words to get what they want but don't FEEL anything for them. And you can be easily replaceable with someone else. Example: my wife, my friend, my co-worker, my cousin, my sister.)
This makes me think maybe I was dealing with a greater and not a mid-range like I thought. When he was putting me through such unbearable mental/emotional anguish and told him I couldn't take this anymore (I had decided just prior that we were not working - I had started to disengage emotionally and it showed) - he said 'Oh, I had been wondering that - I thought it might'. He exacted his revenge quite thoroughly. Enough, so I have not had another relationship since by choice. As an introvert, I am quite content on my own, to get so lost in the fantasy worlds I create and write about - that weeks can slip by without talking to another human being. No drama is bliss :)
I was the prime source of supply. I educated myself and healed enough to walk away. No contact. No ties. I’m indifferent now. I continue to learn to help others. So that I can clearly convey their thoughts and what is truly happening.
Psychos these people are. Mine got married after b4 6 months . I left them on fb.. I'm hearing word they no longer post pictures. I said well the person they are showing off for is no longer on fb.. Next we gonna hear crickets and just like that their marriage will be non existent. These weirdos are hell bound anyway LOL
I can vouch for this. When the narc I've known have lost me or even suspects he's about to, he PANICS! Same with the guy before him; a small suspicion and he PANICED! They freak out. (And yes, Im an empath who attracts them, I'm half dead by now but will recouperate)
How did you get rid of him? They so clingy when they realize you had enough. They smooth talk and start crying to make you stay. It's 2 years for me soon. It's a carnival everytime. Extremely exhausting.
@@hannahaharoni6767 I got rid of the last one by mirroring him. They hate seeing themselves for what they truly are...I definitely went super nova on him. I am currently involved with another one...he's been around for a year now...keeps creating fake accounts love bombing me while also texting me as himself. He devalued me on the fake Instagram but love bombed me as himself.....he kept telling me he will never let me go. I work with him so I have to be strategic on how I'm going to dodge this one...
@@hannahaharoni6767 Yep fake apologies, fake tears, fake confessions, but all very shallow, never really taking responsibility. It's like they know you want they to apologize and take responsibility, but clearly they don't know how to do it.
@@mrsmallpinky9041 BS. 'Things'that' are broken can heal. Things that are not broken don't need to be healed. You can't 'fix' things that are not there.... .
Joshua carpenter. Hi Joshua you say fear his the problem only I’m 17 months out and very slowly healing . I realised healing would not take place over nite after being with her 6 years. But I seemed to be gripped by fear my self. Can you explain a bit cheers mick
@@joshuacarpenter4350 I don't agree that forgiveness is necessary for healing at all and it's a process for those that do! People have enough to deal with as it is without having to worry about this subject, especially in cases of the immense harm caused in regard to sexual abuse by parents and other adults. ❤
They feel horrifying pain and terror. But that fear of pain led them to blow up the relationship in the first place. I don't want anyone to hurt, but life has consequences. I've had to deal with my narcissist's abuse and manipulation for decades. They can deal with the breakup.
Most narcs I've met always have other supplies and side chick's in the wait because they hate being alone and need that constant fuel... so just know ur replacement is usually just a phone call away.
Oh yes. But only the ding bats stay in it. Like the one he's with now. Always going back. She allows him to cheat. Does sexual acts with others to appease him... let him inject her with meth and heroin. Abandoned her kids for him. Have fun girlfriend. NOT ME!
I have shut the door on my relationship with my mid range sister - the youngest and spoilt sibling. My 2 other sisters have repeatedly told me to ignore her, dont react to her, don't engage. Me being empathic always tried to help her, explain things, listen to her ramblings, etc. I finally ended this when she accused me of not backing her up. I feel free and having listened to HG explain behaviours I am finally in a position to continue my life without her and not to worry about her anymore. Me and my two other sisters have said she will end up alone. Thank You HG.
alex summer I'm feeling extremely relieved and proud of you for saving your own life and your precious children's lives, which is courageous! I really hope you'll all be safe from now on and the children will be able to have their rightful childhoods. ❤
Shortly after 2 weeks when I got the restraining order, I still feel bad for her due to her ill health, etc... I cannot feel bad. She is a narcissist & would not have empathy for me. Full no contact... Period!
This information is so accurate. After leaving the relationship he tried to get me back but he never once apologized or showed any accountability. Then I saw his cold fury. Although I know I did the right thing by leaving the relationship I still feel hurt and guilty about hurting him.
Carolina Morales-Alicea I've been single again for nearly five years now and remember feeling guilty about ending the "relationship" with my last sociopathic narcissistic (dangerous, in other words) ex, until it became clear through his own words and actions that he'd been using me the whole time! I will admit that I missed his lively presence at first and experienced a lot of pain, which was mainly about childhood wounds. I'm at the stage now where I never want to see him again, even though he owes me money and the guilt is long gone. Hopefully, you'll be able to move past it as well because, believe me, he wouldn't have any for what he's done to you. ❤
The best narc takedown I ever seen was an old friend of mine and her husband..he treated her so bad but we thought it was because they were young when they got together and he had no responsibility,used to call his self a 'free spirit' 🙄..she was responsible for all the bills,and the children, whilst he always had expensive hobbies and hardly worked..they bumped into some friends of his one time on a rare day out and they didn't even know he was married and were visibly shocked..The last straw was him refusing to go on a big family holiday and went away with his own friends,my friend who had suffered for years started going out when she said she was working,started seeing numerous men and fell in love with one eventually...HE WAS BROKEN and couldn't believe she had done such a thing to him !!!
Shock of his life... Chillld I went and bought a house while he was on the road driving. He didn't know one day he gets a text from me telling him. Go get your things from the storage cause I just bought a house... I didn't even breakup with him but I'm sure by now 2.5 yrs later he knows LMAO
I got off on wounding my ex-narc. I didn’t even know I was doing it at the time but I would silent treatment and greyrock the hell out of him and when we broke up I went full no contact immediately. Watching him reach out to my family to try to smear me was next level good!
I recently blocked a narc that was stringing me along and he’s now furious every time I see him. He could be happy but as soon as he sees me his expression changes to anger and rage. Can’t lie, I’m tickled by it.
I see you are fine tuning your work. I learned a lot from you. Damn near everything I know about narcissism I learned from you. you helped save my sanity and I have paid it forward. Nice to see you again.
I'm so grateful to meghan and harry for bringing me here. They grabbed my attention intellectually, created curious interest in their odd behavior, the lies so easily proven. I had no idea it would lead to self discovery. HG, you've helped so many identify the insanity of life with a narcissist and realize we can work to protect and respect ourselves without fear or guilt. Not an easy task but that's ok. Anything is easier than struggling helplessly with the unknown. Thank you!
I was never so glad to see anyone leave my house as that morning my narcissist left. I made sure all his sh!t was gathered up so he would have no reason to ever come back. After he got home, over 300 miles away, and a couple of superficial text messages, I blocked him on my phone and all social media. It's been over a year now. He's tried to contact me a few times through work, and I have not responded. He totally underestimated my resolve.
ML W Good on you and I got to the stage where my last dangerous ex couldn't get away fast enough, due to my extreme anger about the way he was treating me in MY home! I'd told him that he HAD to leave though and he only rang once (I didn't answer) not long after he exited stage left, which was nearly five years ago now. He lives in another state and owes me a lot of money, hence why he probably hasn't hoovered anymore. He must know on some level that I'd NEVER have him back either, even if he changed AND returned my money. He's an extremely troubled and sad individual, who isn't capable of loving any woman, or person, for that matter. ❤
Excellent portrayal of my ex husband who travelled between countries to persuade me to return.He made a very heartfelt case for me to go back,he even spent all my money on an expensive sports car to impress me.All my senses warned me he really intended to take me away from someone who actually knew how to treat a woman,then as soon as I had lost everything,he would throw me aside.When I said this to him,he turned his back to walk away but I caught the narcissistic smirk as he passed a mirror and I knew I was correct in my assessment of him.He was never going to change,I was just an appliance that had the nerve to stop working for him.He must have been ruminating on the long drive back home, when he failed to stop at a military checkpoint,some guards fired at his brand new sports car and left it with more holes than a tea strainer. The French saying,I had to translate for him,evil be to those who evil do.
I don't know how it wounds when he had 100s of other women on the side. I'm happy I am free only due to HG Tudors teaching me what was going on and what narcissism really is. I was able to leave an upper greater that no other victim of his has ever done . Best teacher ever
I agree if it had not been for these videos and others I have watched on TH-cam I would not have known exactly what my ex was and got out while I could. I began to think he was a narcissist but I never knew exactly what they did and he followed the classic pattern, love bombing, devaluing, discarding, ghosting then hoovering and I had such a lightbulb moment and in fact I manipulated him (that felt good 😂) to say we needed a break, he maybe back and I will be ready, but for now I have peace ☮️
The Narcissist cannot handle when we enlist logic and abandon emotional thinking. Even after they discard first, if even then u decide to become uninterested they become betrayed and an emotional train wreck
Wow, HG your video was a frightening education. You even sounded livid when you were explaining incandescent rage. I now understand a person in my life growing up, now deceased. The incandescent rages were normal but he was also a family man, responsible, extremely clever and held a high position; he was generous, incredibly witty, and we travelled abroad on many holidays at a young age. He was wonderful in this regard. But none of us quite knew from one moment to another what mood he would be in and it would switch to sadistic contempt to all okay again. But he never, ever apologised to anyone of us. He was the most delightful and charming man outside of the family and within quite often too. Everyone outside thought he was absolutely marvellous. Anyway, thank you. I never really managed to understand him even though I loved him as we all did.
@@DivineVisions1111 That would've been extremely traumatic and I really hope you're okay. I feel annoyed when I read comments stating that narcissistic people would never take their own lives because it's not true! And many of them are slowly, or fastly, killing themselves with alcohol and other drugs, or other unhealthy ways of coping, anyway. Mind you, a lot of overly empathetic individuals do this as well and I was one of them, until I managed to stop many years ago, which wasn't easy at all, due to what happened afterwards. ❤
Hiper vigilant? It happens when one of your parents is, was...the wicked legacy most of us carry; some becamo narcissist, other crazy givers. Sad world.
@@lisab3685 normal can scare me, normal people aren't committed to doing the right thing, they are usually also guilty off doing absolutely nothing to help when help is needed. Normal people scare the shit out of me. I heard a saying and it goes.... 'An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situations is normal behaviour. So what is normal?. It isn't possible to be normal in an abnormal world. What we need is someone with integrity and a will to help.
This perfectly describes how my ex husband behaved when I left him...... anger turned to rage, bitterness and a horrible, long, hard divorce. Even when he wasn’t around he had an ability to impact my life through a lengthy 3.5 year legal battle that I eventually walked away from due to not only money but peace of mind and mental health. Now almost 10 years on it’s no better, he still believes everything that has happened in his life afterwards is my fault, the why me is correct. He will go to his grave hating me, bitterness makes him hard to have relationships with his children and yet believes his life is so much better than everyone else’s when he places value on items rather than people. Time has healed nothing for him, so sad 🙁
I swear I’m dealing with this right now. I caught my husband of 17 years in an affair and told him I wanted a divorce. I left our home with our kids 2 weeks after the discovery and filed for a divorce 1 week after leaving. There has been zero empathy and now he’s borderline furious with me. Can a narcissist be angry when a spouse leaves when they already have a new supply? ***Edited to say- He’s not angry at me for leaving, just angry. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I would assume a “normal” person would feel regret for having hurt someone who spent almost 20 years with them. There’s none. I’m being treated and looked down upon like I’m so beneath him. It’s like a switch was flipped.
My ex narc knew I was done. All he did was play victim and talk about himself. No accountability or apology.. I waited for one and it never came. I was innocent and he totally Sabotaged and ruined the relationship. I didn’t deserve what he did to me and he was so numb. I can’t be with anyone like that. He will never get me back in his lifetime.
I made ittttttttt today HG..after 18 months of PURE SUFFERINGGGGGGGGGGG..thank u sooooo muchhhhhhhh..amazinggggg videos of yourssssss always..it has helped me a lotttttttt..
My upper mid range did exactly this. OMG the money I could have saved on psychologist who don't know as much as you do, they couldn't possibly. Self pity and people yelling me he may take his own life. I would assure them, that won't happen, YOU are giving him what he needs! Oh God, half my life, with a robot
My worst and painful experience after ending a Narcissistic relationship was that, I realised i became a narcissist myself! I can't feel anything, my empathy is gone.
This is interesting to me just 3 minutes in because I'm suggesting the common term 'scapegoat' be retired and replaced with 'escapegoat'. This is literal proof there's a good reason for that thinking, thank you. #linguistlotto
Who cares what the Narc feels? Seriously. Once you’ve ascertained that you’re dealing with one of these vampires, just leave forever and never respond again. That’s what I did when I left my husband. He was upset that I was finally over him like he’d always been over me. Who gives an F what these people think, feel, or experience? Leave them where they lie, and move on.
Exactly, I agree with you
lol so true. I did the same. What a fucking cry baby. All he did was lie and smear me. But told it to ones that didn’t even know me.
it has been 8 years now, and I am stuck, don't get me wrong, I have much more now than I ever had with him, my soul is seriously damaged, it's such a shame
@@gabigolding186 - I fully understand. These people are destroyers. When you find out and believe how wonderful, lovable, and valuable you are, that this isn’t your fault, you will get unstuck. Don’t let anyone invalidate your pain and response to being disregarded like you meant nothing. Here’s the truth - you ARE an invaluable human being deserving of love, and to be treated with kindness and respect. Who you are and what you are is true. What he has communicated to you through words and deed has absolutely nothing to do with your worth. Bless you.
Exactly, as soon as I realised he was a narcissist, it put me off him straight away! I might as well have been told he was gay, because it instantly made me realise there was no future with him.
He doesn’t care bc he doesn’t have feelings for you. All he thinks about is what he can get for himself.
they do have feelings towards you, you are everything and nothing all at the same time. they dont want you feel good.... unless they made you feel good' they have feelings for you' the problem is they want your feelings' they want the controller' i think its cause someone stole theirs when they was 6 and if you dont give them your controller they will take it' be that by force or you will give it them and you will want to give it them' and when you do they feel like they have control. if they lose it they will always feel something for you. they will never forget' every person I met who I would say are narcissistic are weak emotionally weak. they are just trying to protect them by using yours. dont let them play with the controller.
without you he hasn't got a controller he has no self. to him you are everything yet nothing at the same times' he just go find another controller untill he finds one that works. it is that simple to him he will feel gutted that it didn't work with you cause now he needs to buy I new one... you must be broken' they broke you by throwing you at a wall cause they didn't win lol they never throw you out' you go in the shed with all his bits n bobs' his thing's. they dont forget and they dont let go. they love their toys. like a serial killer how they have to keep something off their victim' when they meet you they want you and they never want let you go. they remember cause if they ever feel vulnerable they can remember they have you locked down in the shed' even if it is just a thought' its there's and for abit they can relieve the memory of the time when he was so great. then that thought eats at hims. I feel for the narco. cause them too are victims. yet they are a huge pain in my arse lol.
@@justjenny8210 can we speaaak?
All he cares about is losing easy supply or someone to abuse - gets withdrawal symptoms from the lack of high they get when they abuse you
@@justjenny8210 This is one of the BEST explanations on TH-cam. Please start a channel ✨
We empaths are definitely stronger than narcissist because we are not afraid to be alone, They are!!. That's what makes us most important. We know ourselves to be very valuable , very worthy and if the narc still wants revange that's because he or she will never have what we have. Peace inside us! 😌
I love your comment ❤️
fantastic, and so true we cannot lose a person as we respect their will. we are stronger I feel they hate just that. Buddistic here: life is letting go also those we love most if needed it does not change one thing in contrary it is life.
Exactly
That's not technically correct, most empaths are trauma bonded You're scared too trust me
@@reeebok1the point being made, is that empaths are capable of being alone.
They don't miss US- they miss our SERVITUDE-Lets focus on the realistic...
its there form of love.. and u provide it..
truth!!
They miss the control they exerted over us, and that threatens them, . They miss the "supply" or "fuel" we provided. They also are plunged back to pain of their childhood when someone they needed to trust disappointed them, and they project that pain onto us. They also miss the example of character traits of ours that they like to mimic to get "supply" or "fuel" from others. They also, I believe however short-lived, come face to face with the fact that the fake person they present to the world, and the person they really are. It is very short-lived and they expereince it as a rage, not as an understanding of what they did. They project their behavior and the fault onto us.
They are angry that we leave them and they see it as us slighting them. "How dare they walk away, who do they think they are?" Unlike us, they don't feel it unless they think of us, someone else mentions us, or they see us. Then their emotions come back up. Otherwise they are focused on the "supply" or "fuel" in front of them.
I left the "friend" who showed herself to be a narc. with clarity with a week long spree of ( stupidly making it completely clear what she was) and she's be un-relentless with hoovering attempts. First it was texts and calls, when those didn't work, she started sending cards or sending it through someone who knows us both to make it look like nothing has changed. It's been only like once a month etc. but consistent cards and money ( just small amounts). Each card has a slightly different tactic. She's run through almost all the ones I believe to try to find common ground with me. I think the hoover is to pull us back so they can discard us and pay us back for the audacity we had to leave them. It's payback time, and time for them to unleash their fury on us.
HD it rings a bell that they have hatred and animosity that you left them, cause the "friend" narc. refuses to accept that anything has changed at all. All cards sound as though nothing has changed except her fake apologies that are shallow and meaningless, and it's clear she is writing what she thinks I want to hear. I'm actually able to laugh now and say, "There she goes narcing it again. I'm pretty sure she's the mid range narc., a baby narc. She's been un-relentless, but in a baby narc. way.
IT IS an escape! Because being in a relationship with a narcissist is like being in a hellish prison.
After a long while, I knew I was done with my narc. It was a slow process to escape. I would see him less and less but he still wanted his fuel. We had a terrible hurricane in our state and I had too much on my plate to see him. He was getting tired of my excuses to not see him. I told him I had developed a lot of wrinkles and looked old and tired. Haven't heard from him for a few years now.
People keep saying that narcissists DON'T care about others, but it's worse than that; they CAN'T care. They know right from wrong, but they just can't care.
True - they are not capable of genuine human feelings
Facts! The don't have the capacity..the are not complete human beings..
As
They have no soul and are concrete with flesh
WOW! That's sad! For someone who can't care or feel.
The victim of a narcissist is always at fault. The narcissist’s fury is very real when they lose you. Run & don’t look back. Learn from it & move on. They will drain an empath to depletion if you don’t exit the relationship.
Briony I needed those words. To run and not look back. I’m breaking off from a narc friend and I’m having anxiety over what she might do or say. 😣
That’s what everyone who knew us told me: “He will crush you.” “He will destroy you.”
@@ekaterinabalderdash1274 no mine wont i am exiting i have always fought back. I may be a but of a narc myself. I enjoy sparring with him. He has already shown his other side to others. And yes he smeared me. But he has caused all kinds of trouble and confusion at his job they believe me. He works at the same hotel we live at so they have heard the fights. He hates women his mom raped him for 8 years but he respects all men. Usually the low level kind the scum of the earth.
Oh yes,I can reassure Empaths that it this will absolutely happen as sure and the sun sets and rises ..you have been warned
I have him completely blocked on everything. He got wasted and showed up middle of the night with a gun. Thank God it jammed and cops got there in time
yep i can relate
Wow
Omg 😳
Wow! Glad you’re safe!
Omg... That's crazy. Glad you're alive, well, and the cops came. I pray your staying safe !
Oh He misses Me alright
Misses his Maid and Emotional punching Bag.
Emotional punching bag is the word
Yes, they miss their servant, and whipping post.
Exactly!!!!!!
Only
They actually do not CARE about anyone, not really even about themselves. True, as life.
Yes...they live off attention...ANY attention .my ex narc had zero friends and therefore smothered me and the minute I was out of his sight accused me of lying and cheating CONSTANTLY ...he even likes arguing and blamed me for EVERYTHING. I dumped him...and yes ..he lovebombed me .nutso
They refuse to give eternity a second thought.
So dangerous.
That is extremely sad but totally true
@@theresefournier3269 because “they”-deep down-understand that there is no eternal experience. That’s a bunch of nonsense people like you, use to feel better about being duped so easily and for so long.
It’s not just romantic relationships! I’ve learned it can be a friend/neighbour/work Mate - anyone! I’m learning that.
So true! When I figure out one person is a narc....Here comes another showing their true colors! You're right....they are everywhere.
@@boosiechic1 Exactly...once u know the behavior..u will be shocked how many of them are in ur close cycle...this people are all over the place
In my case parents and a friend
@@entertainmenttv1657 it's a sad story
Yeah they will hit on you too
They don't lose you.
They lose the feeling you gave them.
But they miss it.
It's always a thi thing not a you.
Everything is fine.
Stay blessed all empaths
Absolutely ,he saw the way I looked at him with Absolutely love in my eyes ..then he saw his own reflection in my eyes looking back at him and he will never, ever know a love as strong as I had for him.
Hearing a narcissist refer to a partner leaving the relationship as an ‘escape’ makes me all the more convinced that I am doing the right thing in wanting to divorce my narcissistic husband. Thank you.
Did you get the divorce wrapped up?
I left after 33yrs. It's not been without it's grief and hard awful moments but I met a fabulous man who treats me so beautifully. My ex was surprised I divorced him. He simply thought that after a while I would go back to him. Typical.
Good for you!So glad you got away.
So proud of you! I’m looking for a good attorney now after 20 yrs.
Thy sadly deceive themselves that they're the best gift to mankind.So annoying 🙄
They gonna beg cry and say they'll never misbehave as usual. So weak and low live pathetic individual vampires. Move on and heal beautiful empathic people! And never look back those sickos!
Have some sympathy, they are ill, they need therapy. Do not call them derogatory names
@@sylvialaney4138 they should rot in hell
@@martyvirtue4051 simple!!! Don’t know why she’s sticking up for them 🤦🏾♀️ They deserve no mercy
They cannot be cured, some therapy can assist, but no cure.
@@sylvialaney4138 i take you're not a victim of narcissistic abuse, otherwise you would never have said that, they don't know remorse, they know what they do is wrong and do not care, they're extremely destructive, and cannot be rehabilitated, as they are too arrogant and self righteous and will destroy a person completely if they can't have their way, they have no regard for any living being whatsoever, everything that lives is just another object to exploit, abuse and destroy as they please.
Out of the 200+ texts he sent me since I left 7 weeks ago,Not one said ..
1..I'm sorry I take full responsibility for my actions!
2.. I miss you! ( Instead he says)
I miss your massages
I miss you making me coffee
I don't like being alone in bed
I am lonely and sad.
I, I,I,I,I,I..... it's all about them...my gosh... I'm so glad I got out of that Prison without Walls.
Absolutely all about them because in their minds there is nobody else who matters or has feelings or needs. Amazing how small their world really is. I'm glad you noticed it.
Tell me more about the massages 😉😆
They never take blame.
Yessss!! IKR.. All I get is “HEY, answer your phone, Hey, I Need to talk to you, Hey can u pick up, HEY don’t do this, Hey can u please talk to me, Hey I apologize BUT I need to talk ”.
What.. you forgot my name!???
I Didn’t hear not ONE time “Hey baby I miss you , I love you, I need you, I wanna see you ”, and he love bombed my for 10 yrs!!! ... they are evil trolls!!
LOVE THIS. YES! THAT IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART. My narc would hit me...yell at me...destroy my possessions..call me a whore...slap me..choke me...take my car and drive drunk with no license...threaten to kill my family...insult my looks my intelligence...make fun of my "privelege"...kick me...twist my wrists and say "one more twist and it will break"...keep me up til the sun rose, screaming at me, in order to exhaust and punish me and make me delirious...rape me...And he never apologized afterwards. If I called the cops, he would berate me for it later. He didn't even believe I had a reason to call the police. Nothing is EVER their fault. All bad things that happen are someone else's fault. As their primary fuel source, everything is YOUR fault. Accepting fault would mean losing control. Their biggest fear. One more reason to leave and NEVER look back.
guarding phone...likes a drink...no feelings except anger...no loyalty or respect...loves attention...
All the symptom's to watch for...
What is the hardest thing is you never meant anything to them..
Having a narcissist in your life is like having a child that never leaves never grows up and needs constant attention and it’s the most annoying energy and type of people that exist. I would think if you were a narcissist the last thing you would be is aware of it, and be wiling to help anyone understand. I am a super empath and intuitive. Narcs are UNAWARE people who really just did not grow up and are forever stuck in their ego. I feel many narcissist’s are exactly that, Immature. They are stuck in this childlike - ego- centric almost stupid state of existence where they have absolutely no concept of anything or anyone outside of their own feelings about it. Like a underdeveloped human being or a child that is stuck in that pre-pubescent state forever!
💡👍🏻
@tsimone10 yes I know. They take sick twisted pride in a diagnosis .. it somehow exonerates them from actually having a heart and soul evolving on the planet this time and doing the beautiful inner work to know who they really are. None are capable of being a fully functioning human being. A glamorous certificate to be a fraud! An entitlement that empaths chosen ones for real, authentic gifted people and even normal people are not impressed with. 👍🏻😷😵🤮🤒
Exactly! Well said
Arrested development..emotionally stunted/immature !!
Nailed it!
😂
Please listen to him. We don't often get a second chance and it is our children who pay the price. Over and over family are destroyed because we cannot wrap our minds around this basic truth. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! YOU CANNOT FIX HIM! So please stop and just leave. Trust me. Your life will be so much better. ❤️
Considering that narcissists are so common,it's almost impossible to have a successful family
My mom was narcissist with six children. Of course, everything was our fault. One good thing about 6 kids is 5 scattered like rats while the whipping person got the physical & emotional abuse. It doubled when my dad split and left us there. As we aged we would usually manage to escape or age out. We always tried to get someone out with you. It took several years for us to get the last 2 out. I decided when I was 6 that she would never see me cry. I took up a lot of her time. I think a narcissistic parent is harder on one or two children. Several can seem to keep some stability going. What does HG think? She never quit screaming at us until she died. The best think I ever did for myself was to forgive her. Sincerely.
When a narc loses you? No big deal, they flip over to the next one.We are just a bunch of meat on legs for them.😵🙈
Yes unfortunately they are humans with a demonic entity attached to them - their low vibe personalities attracted a spirit that uses their body and brain to finish the Job they couldn’t in the last life- they are truly demonic and it’s no joke...
They only “care” in the sense that their ego was wounded - but yes as soon as their attention is diverted we are just the former object that’s on their shelf forever.
@@melissadyanzartman6430 you nailed it. My ex has green eyes that I saw turn black one night when she was drunk and out of control. guess that's why they call alcohol spirits. scary stuff.
not when thier old no one will look at them 😂🙋♀️
Yes but at the end of it all they always end up lonely
Oh yes, according to him he did "His dead level best to make me happy" when in reality he made my life a living hell for 5 years. Their perception is that they r perfect of course. I escaped 3 months ago. So much happier knowing I am free of the constant abuse and walking on eggshells. Yes, it hurts but I made the choice to love myself more.
Pamela Kelley Good on you and I'm totally free now too! I'm still in the process of stopping contact with other highly narcissistic people in my life; however, the main thing is that I'm not in a romantic relationship with one anymore. ❤
And even if they disengage, they expect a huge "please don't leave me!!!" moment.When you go "ok fine, bye now", they don't take it well.At first they figure it's coming because how could it not? How could you, a lesser being , who was fortunate enough to have any of their magnificent presence poured out on you, not immediately lay prostrate on the floor , grabbing their ankles in an effort to get them to stay.Surely the begging, pleading phone calls must follow, no? When you deny them any further contact and show no emotion, they get in sensed and very, very angry.
Spot on. The abandonment experienced triggers off the unbearable pain of childhood. That's why narcassists need self compassion...to spend time healing their deeply wounded inner child..who deserves justice. The problems start when they, as a deeply wounded person, seeks to "settle the score" with an innocent third party rather than with the person who abused them first. They "pay forward" the hate and pain rather than giving that pain back (mentally) to the abusive parent.
🙏🙏
Appreciate the insights in the comments on this channel. Thank you.
Fuck their inner damned child. They’re grown ass adults and they ought to reap what they sow. In a just world they would. As it is they just move on and ruin someone else’s life.
Ah, their biggest asset is confusion. Love bombing making you totally super, then degrading once the desired emotional feedback is given. Detaching by ghosting, usually because new source, then just as your recovering appearing at your door. Empathy is your downfall. It takes,a few cycles for you to see. Trauma bonding is not love. Eventually the love bombing fails or you get to read them and the next time the hint of devaluing happens, your gone. I guess they test you to see how cruel they can get away with being. Master manipulators, but also you get to see through this. It gets old. But what spiritual growth, and mighty if self love is your reward. Meanwhile they are left with everything they gave you, in lockdown with no more sources or entertainment .No flying monkeys to send in and you have completely detached as everybody ultimately does. The reason you cant deal with them is nothing is true, they cant handle it absolutely no self reflection, no honesty.
I totaly agree
Well said. What I am going through now. The ghosting is the worst part.
Exactly!! Confusion and anxiety, wondering what you did, should have/could have done. Then, smiles and big hugs and everything is fine, until randomly, the next time.
Well said
Wow I'm dealing with a narcissist .He cheats blames me for causing him to cheat, ghosts me, come back after a while act nice I actually nearly lost my mind had I not found this in time because I didn't understand why he cnt love me the way I loved him.
This is exactly what’s happening to me!
Run, honey!
This was my ex boyfriend i left him I had enough you need to leave
GOSO
You're not loved, cared for or appreciated… you're just providing them with whatever it is that they're using you for.
So when you leave and cut off all contact… they feel pretty much the same as when they would've lost a pair of worn out slippers.
They'll just start wearing the new ones, that they already have… And they will be so much better.. undamaged and brand new…much more comfortable
The cycle will repeat again. The new will be drained and trashed away or the victim will awaken and kick his ass
I left my narc last Fall. Then a few months later we got back together JUST so he could dump me, this time. It really mattered to him that he had the final word. Great video.
I want mine to come back just so I can get some revenge and dump him. I am feeling so evil.
Lisa, normal people don’t think like that. You can’t win that way with a narcissist.
@@danparish1344 that's not true, and don't try to make Lisa feel bad about being HUMAN. the pain these people inflict on good, loving people is so damaging...so having bad thoughts of revenge IS normal until you can heal and realize that it wasn't your fault. Shame on you for trying to shame her, jerk.
@@scuttletheship656 no is not and what is wrong with you? calling names to someone with a diferente opinion?? seeking revenge is a sign of unhealthy and hurt ego, the same thing that gives birth to narcissism, obsessing and reminiscent are signs of trauma bond.
Normal people want to understand and get distante from the source of pain, not to endulge in petty power games with a unhealthy being.
Going back to a ex narc is like a dog returning to it's vomit! 😅
I actually got my narcissist to leave and run away from me, when I turned on him and kept it up 24/7. I became incensed at being a slave for years, and finally did a massive slave revolt on him, swore at him constantly, walked off if he tried to even speak to me, if he followed me to continue, I'd tell him "I don't care what you say - you're stupid." payback and then some. He couldn't stand it and ran away.
The red flag is their past relationships. When they first mention it you see them as victims. However, in hindsight, w out the emotional thinking, you realize they clearly told you everything wrong w them. I remember meeting an ex partner and being told his ex wife "drained the bank account, took the kids, and left in the middle of the night." When I told my mother about this, instead of feeling sorry for him, she immediately responded "Why? That sounds like desperation to me." But beyond that they tell you exactly what is about to happen. Are they cheaters? Bad with money? And so on. And the details are hidden in their rants about their ex's.
Red flag: past relationships
It usually ends up being that the kids' mom fled for her life with kids, took the little bit left in the bank.
I had to leave and stay in a DV shelter in the past.
After being stalked and trafficked by said stalker... That sounds like a possibility.
They will cry like kid when you take their favorite toy from them .., until they find other supply .. horrible demons
Knowing the horrible annoyance and pain I caused to my narcs by exiting brings me paroxysms of pure elation and joy.
A narcissistic person hates being alone more than anything. They hate themselves and that is why they crave any company and jump from relationship to relationship... Very weak and insecure people... They create hell for any empath.
you mean any *codependent
It really is an escape! I had to leave in the middle of the night with what I had on! I never thought that scenario would happen to me.. but it did! There was also no going back to get my things as it was too dangerous! He destroy all my possessions. I wasn’t allowed to get away with leaving him. I now have nothing of material things but I am so much happier! X
Congratulations. I left the lunatic narcissist on a hot summer's day by driving to the airport with just the clothes on my back. I paid for my ticket to Europe with a credit card. The narcissist flew to Europe to hoover me but I didn't bite. The narcissist got married a while ago and posted wedding pictures on Facebook. I was indifferent. I'm a happy camper today.
Good to hear this. Left both my narc relationships, one was an escape, the other I wasn’t living with him so it was easier to leave, but he turned on the water works and I laughed in his face. Saw him as a pathetic man. He had such rage and smashed some of my personal items in the street. I was gutted but didn’t show him, just got in my car and drove away.
So good to hear how much this hurt them!
He said i was "ungrateful". Thank you for letting me know i wounded him.
I went to pick up my items from his house and he threw them out of the front door and slammed it. Oh he was wounded and furious, this usually very controlled man. I laughed so he could hear me. It felt good and I am relieved. My emotional thinking has been dialled right down thanks to HG's life lessons, for which I am grateful
When I left my husband of 14 years, I was collecting things on our front porch, he went and sat in his car, and let out a guttural, almost animalistic scream. I’d never heard anything like it. Chilling.
Frightening.
Demonic
It's cause you weren't doing/acting how he wanted. You weren't his "wife" anymore.
(I put it in quotations because emotional vampires see people as their object, much how you own your phone. They label people words to get what they want but don't FEEL anything for them. And you can be easily replaceable with someone else.
Example: my wife, my friend, my co-worker, my cousin, my sister.)
Scary!
😳😳😳😱 wow so creepy poltergeist behavior 😳
This makes me think maybe I was dealing with a greater and not a mid-range like I thought. When he was putting me through such unbearable mental/emotional anguish and told him I couldn't take this anymore (I had decided just prior that we were not working - I had started to disengage emotionally and it showed) - he said 'Oh, I had been wondering that - I thought it might'. He exacted his revenge quite thoroughly. Enough, so I have not had another relationship since by choice. As an introvert, I am quite content on my own, to get so lost in the fantasy worlds I create and write about - that weeks can slip by without talking to another human being. No drama is bliss :)
Hear hear! Lockdown was no problem to people like us.
I was the prime source of supply. I educated myself and healed enough to walk away. No contact. No ties. I’m indifferent now. I continue to learn to help others. So that I can clearly convey their thoughts and what is truly happening.
blessings to you! ♡♡
Narcissism 👉 Demonic
Narcissist 👉 Demon inside them
Solution 👉 Deliverance
Amen.
In Jesus’ Mighty and powerful name 🙏🏽
In the name of JESUS.. AMEN ❤️
I'm Christian and don't think it's demonic. Has a narcissist ever been cured in that way?
I think narcissists appear in someone's life for a reason
I've never seen narcissism cured by exorcism
The best feeling was getting rid of HIM. He thought he had longer!!! He responded by buying a boat and then getting married within a year LOL
Psychos these people are. Mine got married after b4 6 months . I left them on fb.. I'm hearing word they no longer post pictures. I said well the person they are showing off for is no longer on fb.. Next we gonna hear crickets and just like that their marriage will be non existent. These weirdos are hell bound anyway LOL
Thank you for this video H.G. I have a narcissist female friend and I’m finally getting some answers thanks to your excellent work.
I can vouch for this. When the narc I've known have lost me or even suspects he's about to, he PANICS! Same with the guy before him; a small suspicion and he PANICED! They freak out. (And yes, Im an empath who attracts them, I'm half dead by now but will recouperate)
How did you get rid of him? They so clingy when they realize you had enough. They smooth talk and start crying to make you stay. It's 2 years for me soon. It's a carnival everytime. Extremely exhausting.
@@hannahaharoni6767 I got rid of the last one by mirroring him. They hate seeing themselves for what they truly are...I definitely went super nova on him.
I am currently involved with another one...he's been around for a year now...keeps creating fake accounts love bombing me while also texting me as himself. He devalued me on the fake Instagram but love bombed me as himself.....he kept telling me he will never let me go. I work with him so I have to be strategic on how I'm going to dodge this one...
Yesss..they can sense it....My is frantic now
@@hannahaharoni6767 Yep fake apologies, fake tears, fake confessions, but all very shallow, never really taking responsibility. It's like they know you want they to apologize and take responsibility, but clearly they don't know how to do it.
Healing is so easy but fear makes it impossible
Must shed all fear to heal
@@mrsmallpinky9041 BS. 'Things'that' are broken can heal. Things that are not broken don't need to be healed. You can't 'fix' things that are not there.... .
Joshua carpenter. Hi Joshua you say fear his the problem only I’m 17 months out and very slowly healing . I realised healing would not take place over nite after being with her 6 years. But I seemed to be gripped by fear my self. Can you explain a bit cheers mick
@@micktaylor1991 have you forgiven all who have wronged you?
@@joshuacarpenter4350 I don't agree that forgiveness is necessary for healing at all and it's a process for those that do! People have enough to deal with as it is without having to worry about this subject, especially in cases of the immense harm caused in regard to sexual abuse by parents and other adults. ❤
Cold fury and heated fury are real. Get far away, stay away.
I don't know why I just want to share this all over the planet...
My absolute favorite part: when the narc "lost" me, or actually, when I turned on my heel and left without a word. Very very favorite part!
The arrogant narc will shocked if his planned will not happen due to the awakening of the primary supply
They feel horrifying pain and terror.
But that fear of pain led them to blow up the relationship in the first place. I don't want anyone to hurt, but life has consequences. I've had to deal with my narcissist's abuse and manipulation for decades. They can deal with the breakup.
Your subscribers climb daily. I appreciate what you do. Thank you.
@@mrsmallpinky9041 are you referring to the Beatles song or the book from Haruki Murakami??
@@mrsmallpinky9041 tell us
You have described how the narcissist makes their partner feel every day 😔
Most narcs I've met always have other supplies and side chick's in the wait because they hate being alone and need that constant fuel... so just know ur replacement is usually just a phone call away.
Oh yes. But only the ding bats stay in it. Like the one he's with now. Always going back. She allows him to cheat. Does sexual acts with others to appease him... let him inject her with meth and heroin. Abandoned her kids for him. Have fun girlfriend. NOT ME!
Facts
I have shut the door on my relationship with my mid range sister - the youngest and spoilt sibling. My 2 other sisters have repeatedly told me to ignore her, dont react to her, don't engage. Me being empathic always tried to help her, explain things, listen to her ramblings, etc. I finally ended this when she accused me of not backing her up. I feel free and having listened to HG explain behaviours I am finally in a position to continue my life without her and not to worry about her anymore. Me and my two other sisters have said she will end up alone. Thank You HG.
I left to save mine & my children's lives. We are very lucky to be alive
alex summer I'm feeling extremely relieved and proud of you for saving your own life and your precious children's lives, which is courageous! I really hope you'll all be safe from now on and the children will be able to have their rightful childhoods. ❤
Shortly after 2 weeks when I got the restraining order, I still feel bad for her due to her ill health, etc... I cannot feel bad. She is a narcissist & would not have empathy for me. Full no contact... Period!
This information is so accurate. After leaving the relationship he tried to get me back but he never once apologized or showed any accountability. Then I saw his cold fury. Although I know I did the right thing by leaving the relationship I still feel hurt and guilty about hurting him.
Lose the guilt, they have none x
Don’t. Hope you got some parting shots in on the way out.
Girl, he probably smashed two girls since you left him. They alwayd have side girl waiting.
Carolina Morales-Alicea I've been single again for nearly five years now and remember feeling guilty about ending the "relationship" with my last sociopathic narcissistic (dangerous, in other words) ex, until it became clear through his own words and actions that he'd been using me the whole time!
I will admit that I missed his lively presence at first and experienced a lot of pain, which was mainly about childhood wounds. I'm at the stage now where I never want to see him again, even though he owes me money and the guilt is long gone. Hopefully, you'll be able to move past it as well because, believe me, he wouldn't have any for what he's done to you. ❤
The best narc takedown I ever seen was an old friend of mine and her husband..he treated her so bad but we thought it was because they were young when they got together and he had no responsibility,used to call his self a 'free spirit' 🙄..she was responsible for all the bills,and the children, whilst he always had expensive hobbies and hardly worked..they bumped into some friends of his one time on a rare day out and they didn't even know he was married and were visibly shocked..The last straw was him refusing to go on a big family holiday and went away with his own friends,my friend who had suffered for years started going out when she said she was working,started seeing numerous men and fell in love with one eventually...HE WAS BROKEN and couldn't believe she had done such a thing to him !!!
Shock of his life... Chillld I went and bought a house while he was on the road driving. He didn't know one day he gets a text from me telling him. Go get your things from the storage cause I just bought a house... I didn't even breakup with him but I'm sure by now 2.5 yrs later he knows LMAO
I don’t care what happens to narcissists
She just lost her nursing license too, karma does exist.
HG the way you force all of us to analyze our own motivations and behaviors, bar none.
I got off on wounding my ex-narc. I didn’t even know I was doing it at the time but I would silent treatment and greyrock the hell out of him and when we broke up I went full no contact immediately. Watching him reach out to my family to try to smear me was next level good!
Yes, there is a time and place for payback, isn't there. Karma works through people sometimes.
Just wish I knew this decades ago
I feel like a gazelle that, through luck, got out of the grasp of a ravinous lion. One more swat, one bite away from death. He was pure evil
The narcissist wanted my life.
They actually want your soul..the more they get the more earthly..rewards they get
I recently blocked a narc that was stringing me along and he’s now furious every time I see him. He could be happy but as soon as he sees me his expression changes to anger and rage. Can’t lie, I’m tickled by it.
I see you are fine tuning your work. I learned a lot from you. Damn near everything I know about narcissism I learned from you. you helped save my sanity and I have paid it forward. Nice to see you again.
Agreed ✨ . Ultra is the Best 😎☺
I'm so grateful to meghan and harry for bringing me here. They grabbed my attention intellectually, created curious interest in their odd behavior, the lies so easily proven. I had no idea it would lead to self discovery. HG, you've helped so many identify the insanity of life with a narcissist and realize we can work to protect and respect ourselves without fear or guilt. Not an easy task but that's ok. Anything is easier than struggling helplessly with the unknown. Thank you!
Its really kinda funny when you use words like 'appliances' and 'fuel' . What an amazingly humorous way of presenting the truth.
I was never so glad to see anyone leave my house as that morning my narcissist left. I made sure all his sh!t was gathered up so he would have no reason to ever come back. After he got home, over 300 miles away, and a couple of superficial text messages, I blocked him on my phone and all social media. It's been over a year now. He's tried to contact me a few times through work, and I have not responded. He totally underestimated my resolve.
ML W Good on you and I got to the stage where my last dangerous ex couldn't get away fast enough, due to my extreme anger about the way he was treating me in MY home!
I'd told him that he HAD to leave though and he only rang once (I didn't answer) not long after he exited stage left, which was nearly five years ago now.
He lives in another state and owes me a lot of money, hence why he probably hasn't hoovered anymore. He must know on some level that I'd NEVER have him back either, even if he changed AND returned my money. He's an extremely troubled and sad individual, who isn't capable of loving any woman, or person, for that matter. ❤
💪
Excellent portrayal of my ex husband who travelled between countries to persuade me to return.He made a very heartfelt case for me to go back,he even spent all my money on an expensive sports car to impress me.All my senses warned me he really intended to take me away from someone who actually knew how to treat a woman,then as soon as I had lost everything,he would throw me aside.When I said this to him,he turned his back to walk away but I caught the narcissistic smirk as he passed a mirror and I knew I was correct in my assessment of him.He was never going to change,I was just an appliance that had the nerve to stop working for him.He must have been ruminating on the long drive back home, when he failed to stop at a military checkpoint,some guards fired at his brand new sports car and left it with more holes than a tea strainer. The French saying,I had to translate for him,evil be to those who evil do.
What is that saying in French? I am a metalsmith and would love to make a necklace with that inscribed.
Great story !! Thank goodness you caught that smirk
Hmmm
Your story sounds like bullshit
@@X11CHASE You are entitled to your opinion but I swear it is true.
I don't know how it wounds when he had 100s of other women on the side. I'm happy I am free only due to HG Tudors teaching me what was going on and what narcissism really is. I was able to leave an upper greater that no other victim of his has ever done .
Best teacher ever
Adrienne Gallotta
I agree with you 100% !!
Their asses really get chapped when we leave
I agree if it had not been for these videos and others I have watched on TH-cam I would not have known exactly what my ex was and got out while I could. I began to think he was a narcissist but I never knew exactly what they did and he followed the classic pattern, love bombing, devaluing, discarding, ghosting then hoovering and I had such a lightbulb moment and in fact I manipulated him (that felt good 😂) to say we needed a break, he maybe back and I will be ready, but for now I have peace ☮️
Very evil, no matter which narcissist...
The Narcissist cannot handle when we enlist logic and abandon emotional thinking. Even after they discard first, if even then u decide to become uninterested they become betrayed and an emotional train wreck
Oh my, that's how he feels. He never treated me as a prize.
Ignoring them kills them get out
Wow, HG your video was a frightening education. You even sounded livid when you were explaining incandescent rage. I now understand a person in my life growing up, now deceased.
The incandescent rages were normal but he was also a family man, responsible, extremely clever and held a high position; he was generous, incredibly witty, and we travelled abroad on many holidays at a young age. He was wonderful in this regard.
But none of us quite knew from one moment to another what mood he would be in and it would switch to sadistic contempt to all okay again. But he never, ever apologised to anyone of us. He was the most delightful and charming man outside of the family and within quite often too. Everyone outside thought he was absolutely marvellous.
Anyway, thank you. I never really managed to understand him even though I loved him as we all did.
My dad to a "T". He took his own life & I discovered his body.😞
@@DivineVisions1111 That would've been extremely traumatic and I really hope you're okay. I feel annoyed when I read comments stating that narcissistic people would never take their own lives because it's not true!
And many of them are slowly, or fastly, killing themselves with alcohol and other drugs, or other unhealthy ways of coping, anyway. Mind you, a lot of overly empathetic individuals do this as well and I was one of them, until I managed to stop many years ago, which wasn't easy at all, due to what happened afterwards. ❤
@@DivineVisions1111 😔
Spending time at home recovering for a few days, I'm catching up with your videos I've missed so far and really enjoying them, thanks, HG
Agree. He will be fine. So will I .
I am happy working for God and am settled in.
Been alone for 2 years and am just fine ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
4 months free. 😌❤️
Well done.
Stay strong. You can do it.
I not only pretending everything was ok, I left town with the kids and I am the source of all the income as well.
Checkmate!
How are you 'coparenting' now you have moved and no contact?
Great video HG, still helps me to go to emotional thinking to logical thinking. Your teachings helps me to stay save and save my life!
Why do I think I'm the narcissist?. Then I think I am just being super alert, and suspicious of everyone. This stuff is contagious.
They are everywhere. I am looking for someone normal. I believe they do not exist anymore.
Hiper vigilant? It happens when one of your parents is, was...the wicked legacy most of us carry; some becamo narcissist, other crazy givers. Sad world.
@@lisab3685
I don't know what normal means if it doesn't mean conventional. No one is perfect but there're levels of malignancy
@@lisab3685 normal can scare me, normal people aren't committed to doing the right thing, they are usually also guilty off doing absolutely nothing to help when help is needed. Normal people scare the shit out of me. I heard a saying and it goes.... 'An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situations is normal behaviour. So what is normal?. It isn't possible to be normal in an abnormal world. What we need is someone with integrity and a will to help.
I know the guy making these videos is doing so cause he clever not cause he cares.
It's been one year of no contact, and I still laugh whenever I think about her. I won.
This perfectly describes how my ex husband behaved when I left him...... anger turned to rage, bitterness and a horrible, long, hard divorce. Even when he wasn’t around he had an ability to impact my life through a lengthy 3.5 year legal battle that I eventually walked away from due to not only money but peace of mind and mental health. Now almost 10 years on it’s no better, he still believes everything that has happened in his life afterwards is my fault, the why me is correct. He will go to his grave hating me, bitterness makes him hard to have relationships with his children and yet believes his life is so much better than everyone else’s when he places value on items rather than people. Time has healed nothing for him, so sad 🙁
I swear I’m dealing with this right now. I caught my husband of 17 years in an affair and told him I wanted a divorce. I left our home with our kids 2 weeks after the discovery and filed for a divorce 1 week after leaving. There has been zero empathy and now he’s borderline furious with me. Can a narcissist be angry when a spouse leaves when they already have a new supply?
***Edited to say- He’s not angry at me for leaving, just angry. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I would assume a “normal” person would feel regret for having hurt someone who spent almost 20 years with them. There’s none. I’m being treated and looked down upon like I’m so beneath him. It’s like a switch was flipped.
They shoulda thought of that before the 200th time they cheated on me.
Mine used to pick on me for "being old"... He's 40 I'm 48... And I just found out he had sex with a 60 year old.. 🤣🤮
My ex narc knew I was done. All he did was play victim and talk about himself. No accountability or apology.. I waited for one and it never came. I was innocent and he totally Sabotaged and ruined the relationship. I didn’t deserve what he did to me and he was so numb. I can’t be with anyone like that. He will never get me back in his lifetime.
Thanks for talking to us.
In a strange way, I'm glad to finally get the answers the video provides.
They throw their comforter/dummy out of the pram and scream and scream and 😱 scream.
You are a wonderful storyteller! And such precious information!
I made ittttttttt today HG..after 18 months of PURE SUFFERINGGGGGGGGGGG..thank u sooooo muchhhhhhhh..amazinggggg videos of yourssssss always..it has helped me a lotttttttt..
My upper mid range did exactly this. OMG the money I could have saved on psychologist who don't know as much as you do, they couldn't possibly. Self pity and people yelling me he may take his own life. I would assure them, that won't happen, YOU are giving him what he needs! Oh God, half my life, with a robot
I'm escaping now. My roommate is a narcissist she's pissed all the time can't wait till end of month out to freedom 🙌🙃🤗😌
👍 good one HG.
They literally run after you like you owe them.
It's insiders.
But it's ok. It's all part of the grand consruct
My worst and painful experience after ending a Narcissistic relationship was that, I realised i became a narcissist myself! I can't feel anything, my empathy is gone.
Really ? I didn't think that could happen.
I'll try to get HG to make a video on the subject.
This information is veryyy helpful thank you 😊
This is interesting to me just 3 minutes in because I'm suggesting the common term 'scapegoat' be retired and replaced with 'escapegoat'. This is literal proof there's a good reason for that thinking, thank you. #linguistlotto
Just seen this in my feed. Congrats HG on the re-in statement of your Ultra Channel.