This was probably the hardest video for me to make so far. I have to say that I debated for so long whether I wanted to talk about this publicly. There are a lot of reasons for that, but some of the big ones include acknowledging that what works for one person, may fall flat with another. It's a ridiculously, highly personal topic, and the most important thing you can do for yourself is to get really CURIOUS about your own needs, your own body's reactions, and your physical and emotional state. Ultimately though, I chose to move forward with releasing this video because I truly felt hung out to dry when I was younger. I felt so completely on my own in this arena, with "advice" that felt really inactionable. To this day, disordered eating is rampant and feel incredibly hard to treat. Lots of the advice around it feels very antiquated to me. And when I encounter a person who is obviously struggling, I kind of want to cry. I hope this video is of some comfort and some relief. I do not have all the answers. Pick and choose what works for you. My heart is in this one. ps. If you didn't make it to the end of video announcement, I will be taking some time off for personal reasons in the coming weeks. So this will be the last video for a few weeks. However I WILL be back and I will be more annoying than ever. If you really, really miss me in the meantime, I will still be on TH-cam over on my podcast channel 😉 (Heads up, the podcast can be much more R rated in moments. Mostly we talk about career, family and boyfriends, but also sex and other non-child friendly topics. So just a heads up that it IS a different experience from my main channel). th-cam.com/video/-cYwcrn3kF8/w-d-xo.htmlsi=ybqyLGJ11FWkB11B Happy Holidays, y'all. Be safe ❤
Caroline ~ You are always so brave & open with serious topics you bring to the forefront of your channel! And while this topic isn't something that I have dealt with - I'm here for it to learn more, and, to get to know you better. Enjoy your time off during the remainder of the 2023 holiday season 🌲🎁 ❄️ - I hope it's a wonderful time. Hugs from Southern California, Michelle 🥰
Something I personally needed to learn was that hunger doesn’t always feel like “hunger”… sometimes it feels like being abnormally irritated or stressed or tired. 😅
Very much agree. Years of starving and bingeing changed my personality. I just thought I turned into a bitch. Turned out the bitch was hungry. I'm chill.
For me it's been the other way around. I had to learn that not everything is hunger, that sometimes I need to look at my feelings for what they are and not just comfort eat.
“Casually disordered” is a great phrase. I have disordered thinking around food, but not to the extent of an actual disorder. I really wish I could reduce my sugar intake, and increase my veggies.
I started pre-shredding my salad veggies for the week so that it's always the fastest meal I can make when I open the fridge. I also started pre-mixing my salad a few hours from when I'm hungry so that when I do get hungry I dont fall into the trap of what I yearn for. I use eel sauce (sparingly) for the dressing because I love it on sushi, so it makes everything taste just a little bit sweet and makes it more yummy. Hope some of these tips helped.
I found this video at the perfect time for me. With all the talk about Ozempic, people kept saying that the "food chatter stopped." After repeatedly hearing this phrase, I finally realized that I spend A LOT of time planning what I will eat, might eat, should eat etc. I asked my husband to take over half the cooking and he happily plans the same meals every week--who does that? Not me. I thought he was just lazy but I don't think he thinks about food very much(!). We started using a meal kit delivery and it was weirdly freeing because I thought about my meals once, and then it just showed up. I don't want to keep doing the meal kits but I have been wondering about just choosing two weeks of meals and rotating them to eliminate all the thought that goes into it. Still thinking this through.
Recovered from ED here....I used Mounjaro while still suffering, and yes, it did quiet the food chatter. But it also made me feel like absolute sh*t, and it took away ALL the joy of eating. And guess what? I STILL ATE. I powered through it. I lost the initial 8 pounds that I had gained from a stressful move across the country within a month. I stayed on the drug for five months after that, though. And didn't lose another single pound!
Since we have Kids we rotate the same meals over and over. This frees up capacity elsewhere or reduces stress. It all gets back to the question: how much of your energy and time should you dedicate to food. Maybe you should simplify your meals and instead do sth else you like. Test it a few weeks and then adjust
Declaring “I’m not a professional of LITTERALLY OF ANY KIND. THERE IS LITTERALLY NOTHING I’M A PROFESSIONAL AT” with ever increasing volume is the best kind of disclaimer around
I am almost 43 and have been dealing with this for over 30 years. Imagine all the other things I could have accomplished if this didn't take up so much space in my brain.
I’m 27 and have been dealing with this for 12 years and I have the same exact thought, but we still need to be so proud of ourselves for fighting back every day too ❤️ that makes us stronger than most too which I think is an accomplishment!
@brbridingmyhorse same! I'm going to be 46, dealing with all this for 25+ years. Wish I had a Caroline back then, instead of the string of therapists who had no idea how to deal with food issues!
Such an important message! My youngest son (31 now) does not have an eating disorder, however he does struggle with other mental health challenges. About 4 years ago he said the most profound thing to me. He said, "Mom you have no idea how hard it is to fight your mind everyday." So heartbreaking! Thank you for sharing this struggle and being so honest. You are inspiring others to keep fighting. Enjoy your time off!
I lost my husband a year ago, the day after Xmas & he had severe bipolar. He often said he was exhausted from constantly fighting his own mind each & every day. 😢
Omg,I do understand you!!! My son is 32, he has had OCD since he was 15, and he told me once that he had a "battle" that he had to fight,inside his head,every single day.... 😢
THANK YOU FOR ADRESSING THE DON'T EAT IN THE EVENING/BIG DINNERS SCOLDS I can't get my Mom to stop telling me this and sending me articles and and I'm like you don't understand that part of my hard-won system for being normal with food is by just giving myself what I have always wanted most which is a goddamn late night snack lol
YES!! It drives me crazy how people insist that ideas like this are THE ONLY way to go. Like yes, there may be some science behind why it CAN be a good idea, but that does NOT mean 100% of people all the time will do way better following that particular way of eating.
Everyone has different ideas about what's healthy. Some people definitely do recommend eating light to heavy through the day to keep digestion running smoothly and create no "traffic jams," digestively speaking, by eating a lot first thing.
Yes and ethnocentric because go to other countries and people have so many different times and styles of eating. So do what you want! The one right way is the way that's right for you and only you get to decide.
Some countries eat very late in the day like France. They have less obesity than in the US. For some of us, it makes more sense to eat meals later in the day especially if we go to bed late.
💞 I’m 74 and I didn’t get to the place you talk about until I was 65. The relief is enormous and the journey is harder than anyone can imagine. In terms of loveability….i put my photo into one of those apps that change your age. When I saw myself as a 6 year old and as a 14 year old I felt love for myself for the first time and felt such acceptance of myself and my past life. When my photos pop up now I think “oh there she is…” 💞💞💞
YES. Thank you, I think the message is 100% that you aren’t allowed to care about how you look after you have an ED. God, the way people look at me when I care about how I look because I used to have an ED. I’m recovered y’all. I just want to feel like I look like “me”. This was one of the most realistic videos I’ve ever seen on eating disorder recovery. I consider myself fully recovered from my ED (I’m almost 25, diagnosed around 15, so 10 years) and this is exactly what I would say helped me as well.
Binging is also an ED, so maybe you should be more specific because people who do have a binging problem do need foods that are off limits and learn to eat less.
@@lainiwakura1776 I’m a little confused as to how this relates to anything I said. I didn’t say anything about how much I do or don’t eat, or how much other people should or shouldn’t eat. No hostility, just a little confused.
Makes me a little emotional to see someone talking so honestly and empathetically about this. Overeating and obsession with food has caused me so much shame and guilt, and cost me a lot of money, too, which adds to the stress, which makes me cave even more. It's been eating at my conscience ever since I moved out five years ago. I won't even say that I'll guarantee I can find something useful for myself from this video, or that I'm renewed in a sense of inspiration to get better; I am just so happy that you found a path out of it. Love ❤
I think of all the things that one can obsess over, food (and the eating of it) must be one of the most difficult, because you have to eat to SURVIVE for goodness sakes. I like how you shared your story while stressing the fact that this is what you found works for you, and it may not work for everyone. Thank you for sharing. 😊❤😊
I don’t comment often on videos, but I got emotional watching this one. After almost 10+ years, I’ve also reached a comfortable point in my life where I’m finally happy with my progress on food obsession. In my culture, food is the pinnacle of connection. And commenting on physical appearance and weight was as common as saying how are you? Every point here you said resonated with me and things I came to realize myself. This video is very real and very thoughtfully planned out. It’s such a hard topic to discuss on the internet with strangers now putting you under a microscope. Thank you for your bravery ❤
If you don't have restrictive issues with food, none of this applies to you. Obese people have different issues and need to have off limit foods and learn portion control.
@@lainiwakura1776she wasn’t just talking about restricting she was also talking about binging and general obsessive thoughts about food. Caroline would never want to alienate someone like this.
@@lainiwakura1776 What a rude comment. Actually the video has a lot to do with all sorts of obsessions around food. Obese people do not have to have off limit foods, that creates obsession around these foods just as Caroline talks about in the video. Whether you're obese or not it's always best to strive for a balanced, long-term way of eating rather than crash diets.
This hits me hard. I love how you admitted that you’re not a professional in all things and how you felt unlovable, because it echoes how I feel with myself. Thanks for being vulnerable and putting things into words that I couldn’t.
I downloaded this because I've never felt so seen or understood 🙌 im going to listen to it when i feel alone or unlovable or misunderstood ❤ thank you friend
I’ve always trusted you And as someone who’s come through it…you dealt with this subject so beautifully It was just right 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Please enjoy your time off We appreciate you too
THANK YOU!! I’ve never figured out how to have a normal relationship with food. I was an orphan and there was always too many rules with different people about food.
In my experience (I’m 57) the wounds of eating disorders heal but the scars remain. There will always be a tender spot emotionally, but, given the opportunity, the body can take over the day to day management of eating. In fact, people comment on how carefree I appear to be with food and yet still remain a healthy weight. It did not come easily and I protect that tender spot ferociously. Nobody and nothing is ever taking me back there again. You are all loveable and you’re worth is not based on how your body looks or performs. Now we just need to persuade the Media of this.
You described me to a T. I started keto for medical reasons (recommended by my doctor) and it did wonders for my medical condition, but all the restriction gave me an eating disorder. During the 5 years I was keto, it somehow spiraled to me eating 1200 calories a day and obsessing over food. I planned vacations around food, I lost friendships, it almost ruined my relationship with my boyfriend. It took me a long time to realize that when it came to my overall health, the keto diet was doing more harm than good. Sure, it alleviated my medical symptoms, but it gave me a slew of disordered eating symptoms I never had before. So I stopped January of this year. It’s been a full year and I’m still learning to trust my hunger signals and not feel guilty about “unbalanced” days. Looking back, I’m in a much better place now than I was a year ago. My medical issue is still under control, even though I eat desserts and bread now. I learned that a balanced life is medicine too, and that has been so freeing. ❤️
I feel you SO hard on this and have experienced the EXACT same thing-- thanks for sharing. I've been trapped on the low carb/keto/no sugar boat for years to manage medical and mental conditions. Its difficult , because it really does improve my conditions quite a lot....but it's exhausting to maintain, and the restriction and constant social friction wore me down and triggered big time binging. So in the end, its an unrealistic/unsustainable approach for me and ended up sending my health backwards dramatically from the binging. Now I'm working on finding that balance of choosing the foods that make my body feel the best, while also including food that brings joy -- recognising that nourishing emotional and social needs are just as important.
@@CG-lf8st I’m so glad I’m not alone in this!! You never realize all the factors that play into your health (like being able to eat all food groups, going out to dinner with friends without worrying about foods you can eat, etc) until you drastically restrict things. I have so much appreciation now for getting to indulge every now and then, and for listening to my body and being able to give it what it needs AND wants. Because you’re right, nourishing the body, mind and soul are all equally important.
Another person who had this exact same experience! Went on an insanely restrictive diet due to my health and whilst it alleviated some of the symptoms of the condition, it just created other ones. I have only just realised how restricting my carb intake so much was the reason I was experiencing insomnia. - my body couldn't relax because it was stressed due to starvation. I think these diets may be good short term but they are not a long-term solution. I started brain retraining and that has helped with my condition a lot more than diets and medicines ever did.
It's funny because I found keto/low carb to be freeing. Low gylcemic index food and fiber made it easier for me to not think about food. Sure I had to find substitutes for items, but taking it slow and finding what works for me, made sticking with this long term easy. I don't love the social pressure to eat junk, or being told "you don't need to worry if you gain weight, you're so thin", by obese people who are diabetic or prediabetic. People can definitely have distorted ideas of what is healthy on both sides. When I was stable at 5 or 10 lb overweight for around 20 years, I slowly felt thinner as the obesity epidemic around me got worse as the years progressed, "I also hated being told when I was overweight that I was thin and didn't need to care about my health more". Now that I am in the healthy weight range my family looks at me like I am going to get to be too thin, even though I haven't lost anymore weight in years and have been maintaining a healthy weight all be it on the lower end for my height for 7 years. I do think substitute items are easier to find these days, recipes are getting better as more people share what they like, and it helps if you can be in ketosis at a higher carb count or are willing to eat lower carb under around 100 carbs per day. Sorry it made you feel like you were lacking. I will never go back to eating sugar junk, chips or crackers, those things make me feel like crap. If I wasn't asking for sugar free almond milk and insisting on having mashed turnips instead of potatoes, or bringing my own bread and turning down dessert most people wouldn't realize looking at what I eat that I was eating low carb, I guess I am willing to defined this way of eating, I know it is not for everyone, but seeing the sick people around me makes me sad. Just this week my diabetic brother-in-law had his feet amputated.
Bloody hell girl, this is AMAZING! I've never considered that 1. I'm allowed to have a body preference, but also that b. my fight to get to my body preference is what's causing all these internal struggles. I need to go and ruminate on this...I can feel my brain resetting itself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Have a good break!
Your "what I eat in a day" video was actually how I found you. But I actually love all your videos so much that even if I don't give a fig about interior design, I end up laughing and watching the whole video. I think it's because I love your honesty and genuineness (Is that a word?) and feel like your a friend of mine even if you don't know me. This video is definitely something I needed to hear. I have a 3 year old daughter now, and know that she sees everything I do and I don't want her to have to obsess about food or her body in the way I have ever since I was 13. Thank you for your honesty and for putting yourself out there, I really needed this video today.
There's actually scientific data that once you USE willpower to make a decision, you lessen the amount you have left (until it recharges). That is so FUCKING SPOT ON and was the #1 thing that helped me - tracking my willpower. I chanced upon that random scientific article and I've never heard anyone else talk about willpower being finite until now. You're so badass. Thank you for being vulnerable for the sake of speaking to that person (or people) who need it. I hope you enjoy the break and have a happy holiday ♥🎄
This video helped me. I won't get into my story but this did help. I hope you are doing okay and have a wonderful holiday and new year. I hope 2024 is kind to ALL of us. We need it. 💖
My mom is a nutritionist and as a result, she can sometimes tend to lean into the "inflammatory foods" debate that ultimately means cutting out a lot of foods that bring joy, are easy to access, and are on every damn menu whether it be a health food store or greasy spoon. I am in the midst of an elimination diet and as much as I do feel better not relying on breads, simple carbs, sugars, and raw dairy, it has been emotionally a really strange time for me. Physically I feel optimal, but my emotions with food are still there. I am still figuring out balance and by the end of this elimination protocol I am hoping that I can have a more balanced outlook and not assign morals to food, but when you are trying to figure out what makes you feel like shit physically but whole emotionally, it can become so confusing and full of shame. How we got this way with food is beyond me, but I hope I can find peace soon.
i feel you 100000000 percent on this. Hard to find the balance and compromise between emotional food needs and physical needs especially when they conflict and you have a health condition to manage. I find it helps to remind myself that balance isn't about being perfect and following one ideal rigid routine all the time, because that's impossible since our needs DO conflict and each need deserves (and demands) to be honoured. I think of balance more as a flexible prioritising of the biggest needs and priorities at the time, knowing we cant meet them all at once. Maybe its okay to lean a little more into emotional food needs at times and othertimes recongising your body is calling out for some prioritising of physical food needs? And over time, maybe what you get is a good overall trend. Just some thoughts I've been perculating over time.
@@user-ql6xb7eq4k lol i was just about to recommend trying out some vegan alternatives to dairy products 😂 not cheese, vegan cheese is pretty mid most of the time, but there is vegan coffee creamer and vegan creamy deserts for example (in theory, don't know if these are available to you). vegan dairy alternatives usually don't have the same risk of inflammation als real dairy products. my other tip would be just to combine very healthy, high fiber and nutritious foods with low nutrition simple carb stuff. eg if you put a lot of greens or some veg on a simple toasty toast sandwich, it will make it more digestable and leave your bloodsugar levels more stable. same with pasta: if your sauce has a lot of veggies or legumes in it, you won't ruin your health just bc the pasta isn't whole grain. even eating a bit of fruit together with sweets will make the sweets more digestible and less confusing for your bloodsugar regulation. don't cut out foods you like 🙂
Literally how. How did you know ?? 😭😭 I’m 36 and yesterday, after being painfully aware of my body since first grade, being diagnosed with pcos in 2017, to gaining 90 lbs but mentally feeling terrified of food….I officially closed the damn door on diet culture!!! IM FREE!!! What a relief. Your video couldn’t be more timely for my life right now. Thank you for speaking so gently about this. You’re such a bright light. Thank you 🙏🏻❤
Hey Caroline! I don't know how to ask this, but I have been struggling with a serious mental health condition for the past 15 years (since I was 12y). I am finally stable and medicated, but this condition left me with hording disorder and lots of unfinished things. Can you make a video with tips on how to decorate/organize for people starting over? I feel like I am finally discovering who I am. I would love to have a guiding hand through this journey, and it will be helpful for my family too. we are trying to cut the circle of trauma. Thank you for all your work, I can't possibly thank you enough for the help and comfort listening to you provide me. Have a blessed day. 🙏❤❤❤
My family has always called me fat, despite the fact that I've been a healthy size 4 to size 8 at the height of 5'8" all my life. Most of them are bigger than me, so I really can't explain why they've focused this negative energy on me. At 21, I also got into a relationship with a man who would call me fat and disgusting while I was a size 6...presumably because it was all I knew at home, so I thought this kind of verbal abuse was normal. When I met his family, it made more sense because his mother and sister looked like they were on the brink of death, were super obsessed with nutrition, and the sister even had to be hospitalized for an eating disorder (but none of these expectations applied to the men in the family, they were allowed to eat trash and be fat). All of this in my formative years caused me to be so obsessed with food. I'm always thinking about it lol, and I'm always feeling guilty when I eat it, even when it's meal time. I hope I can stop, but it's a lifelong habit.
It takes time to recover from family and partner abuse like that. Every time you eat, you hear them in your head even if you don’t care what they think anymore because you’ve been conditioned. I’ve been there, took me about 4-5 years to say I TURLY don’t think about it anymore. I am and have always been small myself, but if I gained like 3-5 pounds of weight that I SHOULD HAVE HAD my ex would straight up threaten to break up with me. I finally just said “ok go” and kicked his ass out. I spiraled after that for a little bit l, but knew what I wanted. I just got fed up with counting calories and being obsessed with food, I was tired. The final nail was a _male_ friend of mine saying “hey you look seriously good. Really healthy” after a few months of eating without analyzing the nutrition facts and I was like … hey, yeah I really do! I was always getting compliments on my body when I was starving myself, but he was the first person to notice that I wasn’t doing it anymore and say something. He and I have since talked about it and he said he knew the whole time and just wanted to encourage me to be healthy without being overbearing 😭😭. He was perfect. I am forever grateful to him. I have heard from many other people who’ve experienced this for whatever reason that they’ve all had kind of had an ah-ha moment like that. Many have told me that it was when they realized that they weren’t caring about food while they were traveling. One of the girls in my support group said it was when her mom told her to stop eating so much at a table FULL of their extended family and she shoved all of her food in her mouth and said “ I refuse to continue to starve myself for your approval” and her cousins all clapped 🥹. It’s different for everyone, but you will get there if you stick it out. It’s a lot like kicking an addiction. Eventually you just stop thinking about it all the time. ❤ Sending lots of love! 🫂
This is so fucked, I'm so sorry you were abused and that it took this fucked up form. As someone with a lifelong eating disorder, i cannot FATHOM ever treating another human that way. In the end, its not about those peoples disordered eating--they were just abusers and their abuse just took a certain form that stemmed from diet culture and size prejudice. Family therapy has taught me that often in abusive family dynamics, they pick a 'scapegoat' to focus negative energy on. Sounds like you were the family scapegoat, and 'fat' was in their minds a terrible thing and therefore something to hurt you with. It's crazy how 'fat' becomes a feeling we associate with failure, gluttony, laziness, ugliness etc etc etc. When in truth, its just a state of being with no inherent moral status....meanwhile society acribing prejudice to peoples bodies is the true moral failure.
I had to leave my family for a while to recover. The only voice in your head should be yours and it should only be telling you good things about yourself.
@ravenswood I'm so sorry you are going through this. Any time you hear your abusers (aka "family") judging you let our voices drown out theirs with all of our love and support, you are BEAUTIFUL, you are WONDERFUL you are WORTHY and we love you. ❤️❤️❤️
Sending love and support to you. And to the others on this feed who didn't say their story, including myself. Even the people in that man's gamily and yours are ill and were made to be ill by some kind of abusive messaging or circumstances. You have somehow lifted your head above the muck that they are still consuming. I hope you are able to love yourself all the way out of the quagmire.
How deeply intelligent, balanced and grown up! I don’t have an ED but I have lost lbs45 and maintained that loss for over a year effortlessly. But I’ve started to put back a little of weight and I am a bit scared of food at the moment. This was so useful and resonated deeply. Take care. You are precious.
Thank you for this! 💜I'm in the process of recovery from an ED and I needed this today. Just listening to someone talking about how hard it can get, to just eat, helped me immensely. There is so much info everywhere about how to diet or lose weight, but nobody is talking about the other side of the spectrum. How hard it is not enjoying a thing that is pure pleasure for the majority of the people around you. The way you talk and think about a lot of topics is very inspiring to me, but today you gave me strength to keep going the hard but right direction.
Caroline!! **deep breath as I try not to get too choked up** Thank you for your candor and your willingness to be vulnerable. This is an incredibly powerful video. I, too, have been on a long journey of navigating the landmine field that is healing from a disordered way of eating to a more realistic way of eating. Now that I’m in my thirties there seems to have been some monumental shift in my mindset. Thank you for so many of the videos you create for us. Your video about falling in love with working out, changed my life. I have finally found a type of exercise that brings true joy and I get excited to go do. I never thought it would be possible for me. Your what I eat in a day video, so impactful. How to have a summer before it’s over, the perfectionist video, lazy guide to working out…seriously, thank you for the thought, time and effort you put into your videos. I have also done years and years of work, therapy, reading, intuitive eating etc to finally be at a place where my body, my food choices and my exercise don’t consume all of my thoughts all of the time. I know each of us makes the decision and continues the effort to make lasting change in our lives. However, I would be remiss to not acknowledge how much your videos have helped me along that path. Thank you for being willing to be honest. Thank you for being willing to make difficult videos. You validate and give hope as you share your experience, and remind so many of us that we’re not alone. Though we have never met, you have left a permanent mark on my life, and for that I am forever grateful to you. ❤️Kate
As a fellow anorexic and binge eater of 15 years your advice has been really helpful. It's perhaps the most I've related to someone talking about recovery on TH-cam before. What works for me might not work for someone else and that's ok. We don't need to fit into the same neat little box. Recovery has felt overwhelmingly impossible sometimes but this video has made it feel attainable again. Thank you for making this. It was well thought through, super insightful and full of solutions. Thanks Caroline!
I’m so glad you made this video. I’m 53 now, but also suffered with an eating disorder through high school and college. It was such a very difficult thing to live with and recover from. I had no one. I hid it, tried to quietly get help, it was a very lonely painful existence. You are spot on in so many suggestions and points you made. I had to learn what worked for me as well in order to recover. It is a long road and keep being proud of yourself and trusting yourself, you will need to keep relying on those good instincts and strength you have built. Especially as your body changes throughout your life, pregnancy (s), menopause etc etc. You are doing great. We evolve all throughout life and you have the skills to thrive. I love that you are talking about it, it is brave and I appreciate the connection and felt validated. Thank you.
Lo e your comments about balance. When my kids were toddlers, the pediatrician told me to not get hyper about what they ate or didn't eat on any given day, but to look at the week as a whole. That seems like reasonable advice for adults too!
this video grounded me. ive been recovering from disordered eating for almost 2 years now and recently it’s been difficult- i was on the verge of relapsing and putting restrictions on myself again. but thank you so much for this, for reminding me that im loved. you have no idea how much this video helped me snap out of it.
Caroline, you are so brave to share your personal challenges. You are helping so many by doing that. I'm learning some general life's lessons too. Thank you for being so brave and caring.
Dude ty because I’ve been struggling with ED’s for so long have gone through the gambit of like intuitive eating- eating whatever u want whenever u want etc etc but this is the first time I’ve really heard someone talk about food obsession in such a realistic way.. this is exactly what I needed to hear!
I am obsessed with my health. I changed my seamingly good nutrition due to very high cholesterol, that I was never aware before. I wasn't obese neither overweight. In the process I lost weight. I feel great, and I care how I look. There are people who are obsessed with their health.
Hi! Thanks for being here! Oxford Environmental Study Says: Be Vegan ✔️ All smart people are vegan. Here is why: 1. 🔴 The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) published a report in 2006 titled "Livestock's Long Shadow," which concluded that the livestock industry is one of the most significant contributors to environmental problems, including climate change, deforestation, and water pollution. 2. 🟢 A 2018 study published in the journal Science found that if the world's population shifted to a plant-based diet, it could reduce greenhouse gas emissions by up to 70% and free up land equivalent to the size of the United States, China, Australia, and the European Union combined. 3. 🔵 A study published in 2018 by researchers at Oxford University found that adopting a vegan diet could reduce an individual's carbon footprint by up to 73%. 4. 🟡 The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) recognizes the impact of animal agriculture on climate change. In their 2019 report, they emphasized the importance of shifting towards more vegan diets to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. These are just a few examples of the many scientific studies and reports that have demonstrated the environmental benefits of a vegan diet.
This is my first comment ever. This was so beautifully and thoughtfully done, Caroline. I'm glad you're here, sharing your realness with all of us. I think I speak for everyone when I say we really appreciate you. Happy holidays ❤
I cannot thank you enough for this video. Seriously. I'm one of the lucky people who never had to deal with an eating disorder...ever. BUT! I was recently diagnosed as pre-diabetic and my relationship with food was instantly changed. I'm now having to learn an entirely new way of eating and it hasn't always been easy. Granted, it is definitely not as difficult as what those with genuine disorders have to go through, but it is my version of thrust into the "eating challenged" world. My doctor and I are working on getting me past this/through this without medication and it is working brilliantly. BUT! (there's that but again) I'm now thinking about food far more often and was obsessing about what I could no longer eat (unless I wanted to take drugs with potentially bad side effects, and I'd rather avoid bad side effects. Mine always suck). I'm learning new foods to love....but now I'm dealing with "holiday" foods and families who just do not eat healthfully. Your info is invaluable to me. Thank you. It's giving me better ideas on how to manage my new "food world". Thank you. On behalf of those like me who are new to this, THANK YOU. 💖
I hope you dont mind if i share a few thoughts as a really sympathise with your situation! I know my comment is just going to be the opinion of a random fkn youtube commenter, but I've had 15+ years of eating disorders and loads of therapy...so take/discard whatever from here for whatever my opinion is worth :) A lot of people develope disordered eating or eating disorders as a result of being told to loose weight or follow a diet by their doctors, can you believe! Countless studies show that dieting is the number 1 risk factor for developing eds/ disordered eating, yet the medical model still continues to push dieting as the solution. The fact you're here on this video seeing this approach is such a saving grace, when the internet and the medical model are both full of absolutely terrible advice. You might find the 'intuitive eating' model helpful in your journey... it's what a lot of the most highly trained eating disorder specialists take their clients through. No foods off limit, no hard restrictions. Just learning overtime to make food choices in balance with your body and social/emotional needs without obsessing and stress. Other green flags are working with dieticians and practitioners who follow a 'weight-neutral' approach, a 'non-diet' approach, or follow the 'HAES' approach (health at every size). I'm not dissing your doctor or saying not to work with them, just simply passing on a bit of info/pitfalls/helpful hints to be mindful of that I've personally learned walking a similar path. Good luck!!!
@@lilagood1963 The one reassurance I can give you is that it does become simpler with time, not necessarily easier, but simpler. I now tell people I'm diabetic and don't want my legs amputated (which happened to my aunt) when they get toooooooo insistent that I try a particular dish that is just loaded with sugar because "holidays!" (cue demented "happiness grin" here) That will stop some of them in their tracks. The more maniacal will never stop. I just walk away from them now. And yes, I know I'm not actually diabetic yet, I'm still on that first rung of a ladder I do NOT want to climb. So...simple. I'm diabetic. ANYway, Caroline's video gave me a new perspective and several ideas that I'm still fleshing out. All the best to you Lilagood1963 on your journey.
I just want to say, thank you. I have always had a problem with obsessing what I eat. As an avid runner, I think the sheer amount of calories I eat makes it easier to not think about it because I knew I just burned a lot of calories. But, about a year ago I got injured and couldn’t run at all. I was constantly thinking about food and how much I could or could not eat because I wasn’t “burning it off”. Thankfully, I’ve been able to slowly shift away from that and actually eat when I’m hungry. This just reminds me that it’s normal to be hungry and ok to eat when you are. So thanks:)
59 yrs wise here; exactly my emotional path to trust, peace, balance, acceptance and joyful celebration of my triumphant heart... to here. I am happy. I eat real food and treats that feel good. Thank you for your generous honesty!
Caroline, thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience on this topic. Your honesty and willingness make a difference out here for us. I never hear anything in public discourse that makes sense about eating disorders. As a 40-year survivor of anorexia and bulimia, I find that for me, all that matters is not obsessing-- but it is so hard to convey that concept to people who don't have this issue. If I don't obsess, I don't binge. Period. If I don't obsess, I don't starve myself. Period. There is massive public pressure that says: "Don't let yourself do what comes naturally, because if you do, you will overeat or have too much sex or steal or lie or kill people. It is this voice that says, "There is something broken in you, and you cannot trust yourself." It is shocking how much subtle pressure there is TO obsess. It has taken many years for me to learn that I am not broken and I will not eat everything in the world if I have a Sonic Blast. But it is finally clear: if I don't I obsess, I don't eat crazily. 🎉❤😊 Thank you again!
Thanks for taking the time and emotional energy to share this. ED is serious and a debilitating illness, and unlike substance abuse, our bodies NEED food, but our minds struggle with processing such need. Again, thanks for taking the time to share this experience 🌹
I started struggling with eating around 15 and am 29 today and still dealing with it; I've had times in my life when it felt more manageable and others when it was fully out of control. I can feel myself slipping back into an out of control phase and this video was SO helpful and timely for me. Thank you for being open with us 💕
This is the most open, honest, and true conversation about eating disorders I have seen to date! It really hit home. I was 15 when I hit rock bottom suffering from Anorexia. The problem was that there was NO ONE who I could talk to about it who could relate or understand any of what you are saying here. Recovery (although never was I admitted anywhere for help) took years and years. I am now 39 and still battle that obsessive voice in my head. Being busy and staying active physically have always helped tremendously. I care how I look, always have, but allowing myself to exist in a healthy way and be in the body I was given is true freedom. Thank you for this ❤
You mentioned purging your social media and following people with your body type in a different video, and that helped with my body image issues sooooo much. Thank you, I never would have considered that on my own. ♥
Its refreshing to hear someone talk about this since its like you're not allowed to. So much of what you said 100% is me as well. I never knew I had a food obsession until the last few years - I thought everyone was like me and I just couldn't get the willpower to not gain weight. Im working on it too, but im in a much better space about it now than I have been before. I try to eat responsibly but still indulge here and there and not feel like im getting fat again from it because I balance out the rest of my week like you. Like you, its just taken me a lot of time and a lot of learning to build my willpower muscle . Its so much harder than other "normal" people realize. I was absolutely addicted to food and it was my only coping mechanism for most of my life. Its no way to live.
Pregnancy has helped my relationship with food and eating a lot. Oddly enough. Sure I have a hard time seeing my bodily changes that aren’t always the most aesthetic (and happen very fast) but I was at a better place when I got pregnant and then it kinda pushed me to finish the work. It’s a long journey, be patient with yourself!
Why am I only 4:14 into the video and already crying ….you perfectly described what I have been experiencing including feeling isolated and somewhat alone
You are my spirit animal. Thank you for making videos and being so vulnerable . At one point, I deletes all social media and became a hermit. Your videos helped me come out of it. I appreciate you so very much. ❤🎉
I’ve been in ed recovery for about 1 and 1/2 years and you telling me that most behaviors praised in the internet isn’t realistic made everything so so much easier.. It makes so much more sense- thank you so so much!!!
loved your honesty to be serious. I meant so much for me to see that people cope with the same thing I cope with and are able to step foward and open up. Thank you!! so inspiring
Our family lost a relative who had a couple children of her own, so eating disorders are no joke. I can't imagine what she was struggling with so I appreciate you sharing and that you made it to the other side safely. In fact, you appear to be thriving. Hot pink is your color. Wishing you continued wellness.
Thank you so much, Caroline, for opening up on this very private topic. Your video provides hope to recover and get back to a healthy, self-appreciative, self-caring way of thinking and eating. All the best from Vienna, Austria
Like most women, I’ve struggled with my relationship with food and my body. Being a teenaged girl in the 90’s was *rough*. So many of my friends were hospitalized due to their ED’s. I felt so powerless. I had no idea how to support them or help them but I did do my best to simply listen to them when they wanted to talk about it. I did notice that everyone around them had *opinions* on what they should and shouldnt do and a lot of people wanted them to never talk about it. And that broke my heart. I never developed an ED but I certainly had bouts of very disordered eating/exercise habits. I resonated with every damn thing you said. It really is very very personal. I, too, when finally saying “enough is enough”, went the route of making the decision to not deny myself anything I wanted. Something about scarcity makes our brains go haywire. I ensured I always had my comfort food of choice in the house at all times and I gave myself permission to eat it whenever I wanted and as much as I wanted. But yes, i did also make sure I ate at least SOMETHING nutritionally dense that day or else I’d feel like crap and that is always, for me, a recipe for disaster. And for me, not hiding it was key. Eating it in front of anyone and everyone unapologetically. It took me about a year as well to finally feel safe or satiated or whatever it was that went on in my subconscious. Now I totally forget to buy that food sometimes. Weeks can go by and I haven’t even thought about it. And often it sits there in the pantry for a week or more before I have some and I am satisfied after just a bit of it. That felt like a f’ing *miracle* to me. I would never have believed that would be the case. I thought I’d be a slave to those cravings forever. It had such a hold on my psyche and my emotions. I really appreciated you saying that it’s ok for us to care how we look, but that you won’t let that caring tip over into being unhealthy in any metric. I have arrived there as well. Being healthy and having my body be in a state that feels good to me is important but I know I have to be in charge of myself and accept that I also have to be mindful of how I go about achieving/maintaining that. I would urge people to also be very careful and selective about where they get their information about nutrition/diet/exercise. There are a lot more good quality, research based experts available to us now (which I certainly did not have when I was younger) but a lot of it is actually geared towards elite or very serious amateur athletes. And male athletes at that. They will often relay information or advice that is geared towards highly competitive people and it’s not advisable for people with disordered habits or proclivities to go that hard or be that strict. I highly recommend Natacha Ocean for anyone who wants good quality research based information about all things fitness and nutrition and health. She also has a history with disordered eating and is very gentle and compassionate and is just maybe the sweetest person on the internet. She has been an invaluable resource to me in all things intuitive eating while accomplishing fitness goals. And yesssss !!! That Hannibal quote !!! Maybe the greatest bit of wisdom I’ve ever gotten from a movie ever lol. Thank you for all of this, Caroline. I hope your time off refreshes you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ❤
Thank you for saying the last part about loveabliness. This is what I see and feel every day. It’s a relief to know that you are not alone in this feeling. Thank you
I don’t comment on videos often but felt the need to praise this video. I personally have never struggled with disordered eating but struggle with obsessive thoughts in other ways and this video was very helpful for anybody that struggles with obsessions. I love the part of trusting, that one hit the hardest and is what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much ❤
Wow, I think this is the video I've ever watched on ED that related the most to me. I am 22 now and even though I have never been clinically diagnosed with an ED, I have been obsessing about food since the age of 13. Every time that I felt like I was getting better something would happen and I would fall back into restrictive patterns. I have lost contact with so many people and missed out on so many opportunities because of it. I am doing much better today but I still get caught up thinking about restricting sometimes, so watching this video has been super super helpful. I related to so many of the thoughts and behaviors you described, it feels good to know that I am not the only one
I so hear you. I have a condition Clycic vomiting syndrome which makes eating hard. Episodes have been a lot this year. So because of it I lean toward not eating at old. Love of your videos. California Joanna
This video truly hit home. I am trying to heal myself and my relationship to food and I cannot tell you how freeing it is to know the time I am reclaiming can start going to do things I enjoy again.
I’m so happy to see and hear how healthy you are today. This vlog helped me to realize how much I take for granted a kind of health I don’t typically practice gratitude for and that you have clearly so painstakingly and brilliantly dug yourself out of a deep hole to achieve. I hear how difficult the topic is for you; what a gift you’ve given to those struggling with this. For all who are suffering in this way, I send love and healing thoughts and energy your way.
I had to rewatch this now in April 2024 as I'm going through a period of not loving my body. I allowed myself to "go" from December through end of March. Starting over........ THank you for sharing so authentically and lovingly!
I understand that it's hard to talk about something so personal on the internet. I just want to say that I really appreciate this video. You addressed this topic before in a video and it made me realize that I have been obsessing over food. For years I had no awareness about it, but because of your videos I got aware. I was eating dinner, while watching this video. Normally I would just stop eating, when I finished my plate, even though I'm still hungry. Today I decided to not just stop there and eat more. I needed the awareness
As an ED recovered person myself, this was exactly how I did it too. It took a long time to rewire my brain (10ish years) and sometimes I know it's lurking. This advice is what I would give others too because it worked for me and apparently you too. Good and necessary video. Thank you. ❤
As someone who suffered from ED for a decade and started really recovering last year, it's so nice to see someone talking openly about this. I love it. So happy you stopped obsessing and so did I! Thank you for sharing your story here. It means a lot.
I've struggled off and on for years with binging and restricting. I've recovered, I've fallen off the wagon, and I'm currently back on the ground again after getting knocked off during covid. I've done outpatient treatment, I've done Intuitive Eating on my own. I've never heard someone describe willpower the way you have. As an obese person with an eating disorder, "willpower" is the way people judge me because I don't have control over my weight. But looking at it as the willpower to focus on recovery, and the willpower to push through the disordered thoughts and behaviors, is a complete game-changer.
Thank you for making this video, Caroline. It's not easy to talk about this subject, not for me in any case. I used to obsess about food, my weight and my looks. I was so unhappy. I've never told anyone some of the things I did to achieve my unattainable goal. Because I can still feel the shame. As you mention at the end: the underlying feeling is the feeling that you're not loveable. What helped me get over my obsession was gaining confidence in other areas - getting a proper education and a (to me) more meaningful job, for example. Showing myself that I'm a good person, by taking proper care of myself, setting boundaries, and learning what I truly want. Learning to love myself. 💞
When you spoke about your ability to see other's lovability easily while blind when looking at your own hit home so hard with me. It's also a wild time being cognizant of this and actively working to correct your own behavior. What a trip.
I loooove the focus and explanation on willpower. It’s so key here! I Since having a baby and having no sleep and working 10.5 hour days, I wayyyyy overeat and binge. Sleep really helps a lot for will power. Also, you strike me as someone who is a little ADHD - I recognize that because of how I am -just a little impulsive. It is a little bit harder to focus and have will power and not just jump up and grab whatever is in front of me.
I have had weird food restrictions for a long time, for various reasons, and I had never considered the amount of my mental energy this might have been using up, nor that, as each restriction was piled onto the previous ones, this may have become a sort of food obsession. A lot of the other ideas you presented I am already familiar with but these two are possibly a key to a little more freedom and self-trust, as well as a little more sensual food enjoyment!😊 Sometimes you just need to hear some different thoughts from a [video] buddy to give yourself permission to try a different mindset that you were trying to move towards anyway. Thank you for shining some light on this stuff. Have a wonderful break and we'll see you when we see you!
Finally, someone said it!!! I almost never hear anyone acknowledge that it’s okay to have a physical preference for how your body can look (within reason of course). Thank you so much for sharing!!! I have been encouraged to pursue my ideal healthy self instead of “being fine the way I am”.
Such a kind & thoughtful discourse, @Caroline Winkler.🥰 Thank you for sharing your relationship-to-food journey. I developed anorexia after my father passed away, & as I grieved, it was a struggle to allow myself to eat...food tasted like cardboard. My collarbones, ribs, & hip bones were quite pronounced in those years. I can still remember my therapist cheering for me, when I told her I had eaten more than a bite of a piece of banana cream pie. Your wise insights are much appreciated.😘 I hope you, & all of your beloveds, have blessed & wonderful holidays! 🙏❄🌲❄🎄❄🦌☃️🦌❄💚♥️💚❄🦌☃️🦌🎄❄🌲❄🙏
I really needed this video as I am truly struggling with food obsession. Whether it's cute like "oh, what kind of an amazing plate can I cook for myself" or destructive in the restrict-binge-restrict-binge cycle... It takes so much space and time on my little head... Thank you for this video, it really helped me. Your authenticity is amazing, you are a beautiful human being
I haven't even finished this video yet and I want to thank u from the bottom of my obsessively eating disordered heart. You are a light, Caroline, keep shining girl 🌟💖
This video is so applicable to other kinds of obsessions that don’t even involve food. Even the concept of something that feeds you could be applied metaphorically to so many things and so many obsessions. Thanks Caroline, enlightening.
Caroline! I have been watching your channel for a while now (as well as listening to the podcast). I tend to be a real lurker on the internet and never really comment on anything so this is quite the rare occurrence for me. However, I feel compelled to say that I just adore you. I know I don't really know you in any way other than this funny parasocial relationship, but you occur as such a genuine and honest person, so creative and I really love your inclination to think deeply about life, relationships, one's self, etc. I am from Salisbury, MD and have often felt a kinship with you being from near that area (as well as that we just seem very similar tbh). I feel we would be fast friends (who never text, my favorite kind of friend). Anyway, I am also a therapist and I have worked largely with eating disorders for the past few years so I also just want to acknowledge that all the work you have put into your healing and change process over the years is no small feat. This shit is really hard and I am grateful you have put in the time and am grateful that you are here. I don't know if you'll see this, but I find you so very lovable.
This was probably the hardest video for me to make so far. I have to say that I debated for so long whether I wanted to talk about this publicly. There are a lot of reasons for that, but some of the big ones include acknowledging that what works for one person, may fall flat with another. It's a ridiculously, highly personal topic, and the most important thing you can do for yourself is to get really CURIOUS about your own needs, your own body's reactions, and your physical and emotional state.
Ultimately though, I chose to move forward with releasing this video because I truly felt hung out to dry when I was younger. I felt so completely on my own in this arena, with "advice" that felt really inactionable. To this day, disordered eating is rampant and feel incredibly hard to treat. Lots of the advice around it feels very antiquated to me. And when I encounter a person who is obviously struggling, I kind of want to cry.
I hope this video is of some comfort and some relief. I do not have all the answers. Pick and choose what works for you. My heart is in this one.
ps. If you didn't make it to the end of video announcement, I will be taking some time off for personal reasons in the coming weeks. So this will be the last video for a few weeks. However I WILL be back and I will be more annoying than ever.
If you really, really miss me in the meantime, I will still be on TH-cam over on my podcast channel 😉 (Heads up, the podcast can be much more R rated in moments. Mostly we talk about career, family and boyfriends, but also sex and other non-child friendly topics. So just a heads up that it IS a different experience from my main channel).
th-cam.com/video/-cYwcrn3kF8/w-d-xo.htmlsi=ybqyLGJ11FWkB11B
Happy Holidays, y'all. Be safe ❤
Caroline, girl, check out Gluten Free Breton herb & garlic crackers.😁
Thank you for sharing this part of you with us. It’s an important message that you’ve shared.❤
Caroline ~ You are always so brave & open with serious topics you bring to the forefront of your channel! And while this topic isn't something that I have dealt with - I'm here for it to learn more, and, to get to know you better.
Enjoy your time off during the remainder of the 2023 holiday season 🌲🎁 ❄️ - I hope it's a wonderful time. Hugs from Southern California, Michelle 🥰
this was VERY worth it. thank you so much and enjoy the holidays ❤🎉🎁
💚
I only track my veggies, the more the better! Makes me feel accomplished and healthy
Is there an app you use or do you write it down?
protein?
Something I personally needed to learn was that hunger doesn’t always feel like “hunger”… sometimes it feels like being abnormally irritated or stressed or tired. 😅
Very much agree. Years of starving and bingeing changed my personality. I just thought I turned into a bitch. Turned out the bitch was hungry. I'm chill.
omg yes! Part of why I was "always tired" was because I ate very inconsistently.
When i am asking my self why i am an @ssh0le it s usually because i haven't eaten 😔
For me it's been the other way around. I had to learn that not everything is hunger, that sometimes I need to look at my feelings for what they are and not just comfort eat.
This!!! I remember feeling so tired at work and I was just hungry, but with suppressed hunger because of the stress 😅
I am 68 and have had eating disorders since age 19. So, girls, deal with this shit earlier rather than later.
Yes. I am in my 50s..
I am unlearning my unhealthy habits and i am 20...thank you my fellow human
“Casually disordered” is a great phrase. I have disordered thinking around food, but not to the extent of an actual disorder. I really wish I could reduce my sugar intake, and increase my veggies.
I’m the same I think
I started pre-shredding my salad veggies for the week so that it's always the fastest meal I can make when I open the fridge. I also started pre-mixing my salad a few hours from when I'm hungry so that when I do get hungry I dont fall into the trap of what I yearn for. I use eel sauce (sparingly) for the dressing because I love it on sushi, so it makes everything taste just a little bit sweet and makes it more yummy. Hope some of these tips helped.
@@maddalenasegatohow do we make vegetables tasty if we absolutely detest the taste of veges? I mean absolutely detest.
@@nishadh366smoothies? Soups? Stir fry?
You guys could just switch out the veggies for fruits that have the specific vitamins in the veggies you don't really like❤
I found this video at the perfect time for me. With all the talk about Ozempic, people kept saying that the "food chatter stopped." After repeatedly hearing this phrase, I finally realized that I spend A LOT of time planning what I will eat, might eat, should eat etc. I asked my husband to take over half the cooking and he happily plans the same meals every week--who does that? Not me. I thought he was just lazy but I don't think he thinks about food very much(!).
We started using a meal kit delivery and it was weirdly freeing because I thought about my meals once, and then it just showed up. I don't want to keep doing the meal kits but I have been wondering about just choosing two weeks of meals and rotating them to eliminate all the thought that goes into it. Still thinking this through.
Recovered from ED here....I used Mounjaro while still suffering, and yes, it did quiet the food chatter. But it also made me feel like absolute sh*t, and it took away ALL the joy of eating. And guess what? I STILL ATE. I powered through it. I lost the initial 8 pounds that I had gained from a stressful move across the country within a month. I stayed on the drug for five months after that, though. And didn't lose another single pound!
Since we have Kids we rotate the same meals over and over. This frees up capacity elsewhere or reduces stress. It all gets back to the question: how much of your energy and time should you dedicate to food. Maybe you should simplify your meals and instead do sth else you like. Test it a few weeks and then adjust
Declaring “I’m not a professional of LITTERALLY OF ANY KIND. THERE IS LITTERALLY NOTHING I’M A PROFESSIONAL AT” with ever increasing volume is the best kind of disclaimer around
I am almost 43 and have been dealing with this for over 30 years. Imagine all the other things I could have accomplished if this didn't take up so much space in my brain.
I’m 27 and have been dealing with this for 12 years and I have the same exact thought, but we still need to be so proud of ourselves for fighting back every day too ❤️ that makes us stronger than most too which I think is an accomplishment!
Very well said! ❤@@charlottepeloza1699
@brbridingmyhorse same! I'm going to be 46, dealing with all this for 25+ years. Wish I had a Caroline back then, instead of the string of therapists who had no idea how to deal with food issues!
I’ve been struggling with these issues for 50 years. Yeah, a long time.
don't blame yourself, it's our culture and also how we grew up, not that I think you are blaming yourself but, just in case 🙂
Such an important message! My youngest son (31 now) does not have an eating disorder, however he does struggle with other mental health challenges. About 4 years ago he said the most profound thing to me. He said, "Mom you have no idea how hard it is to fight your mind everyday." So heartbreaking! Thank you for sharing this struggle and being so honest. You are inspiring others to keep fighting. Enjoy your time off!
I lost my husband a year ago, the day after Xmas & he had severe bipolar. He often said he was exhausted from constantly fighting his own mind each & every day. 😢
@@leavdwatt I am so sorry for your loss!
Omg,I do understand you!!! My son is 32, he has had OCD since he was 15, and he told me once that he had a "battle" that he had to fight,inside his head,every single day.... 😢
i feel like your son.......
My heart breaks for you. Keep fighting the fight! Praying for you!
THANK YOU FOR ADRESSING THE DON'T EAT IN THE EVENING/BIG DINNERS SCOLDS
I can't get my Mom to stop telling me this and sending me articles and and I'm like you don't understand that part of my hard-won system for being normal with food is by just giving myself what I have always wanted most which is a goddamn late night snack lol
YES!! It drives me crazy how people insist that ideas like this are THE ONLY way to go. Like yes, there may be some science behind why it CAN be a good idea, but that does NOT mean 100% of people all the time will do way better following that particular way of eating.
I'm so sorry your mom is dealing with her own body issues by projecting them on you. Stay strong and be true to your self and your body.
Everyone has different ideas about what's healthy. Some people definitely do recommend eating light to heavy through the day to keep digestion running smoothly and create no "traffic jams," digestively speaking, by eating a lot first thing.
Yes and ethnocentric because go to other countries and people have so many different times and styles of eating. So do what you want! The one right way is the way that's right for you and only you get to decide.
Some countries eat very late in the day like France. They have less obesity than in the US. For some of us, it makes more sense to eat meals later in the day especially if we go to bed late.
💞 I’m 74 and I didn’t get to the place you talk about until I was 65. The relief is enormous and the journey is harder than anyone can imagine. In terms of loveability….i put my photo into one of those apps that change your age. When I saw myself as a 6 year old and as a 14 year old I felt love for myself for the first time and felt such acceptance of myself and my past life. When my photos pop up now I think “oh there she is…” 💞💞💞
What app is that? Thx
@@dianegriffith3006 sorry I can’t recall but if you search google or TH-cam … I think there are a few of them xx
I hope you’re really proud of yourself, Caroline. ❤
I hope you are too. I know I'm am. ❤
Love her ❤
I hope too ❤
YES. Thank you, I think the message is 100% that you aren’t allowed to care about how you look after you have an ED. God, the way people look at me when I care about how I look because I used to have an ED. I’m recovered y’all. I just want to feel like I look like “me”. This was one of the most realistic videos I’ve ever seen on eating disorder recovery. I consider myself fully recovered from my ED (I’m almost 25, diagnosed around 15, so 10 years) and this is exactly what I would say helped me as well.
Binging is also an ED, so maybe you should be more specific because people who do have a binging problem do need foods that are off limits and learn to eat less.
@@lainiwakura1776 I’m a little confused as to how this relates to anything I said. I didn’t say anything about how much I do or don’t eat, or how much other people should or shouldn’t eat. No hostility, just a little confused.
Makes me a little emotional to see someone talking so honestly and empathetically about this. Overeating and obsession with food has caused me so much shame and guilt, and cost me a lot of money, too, which adds to the stress, which makes me cave even more. It's been eating at my conscience ever since I moved out five years ago.
I won't even say that I'll guarantee I can find something useful for myself from this video, or that I'm renewed in a sense of inspiration to get better; I am just so happy that you found a path out of it. Love ❤
I think of all the things that one can obsess over, food (and the eating of it) must be one of the most difficult, because you have to eat to SURVIVE for goodness sakes. I like how you shared your story while stressing the fact that this is what you found works for you, and it may not work for everyone. Thank you for sharing. 😊❤😊
I don’t comment often on videos, but I got emotional watching this one. After almost 10+ years, I’ve also reached a comfortable point in my life where I’m finally happy with my progress on food obsession. In my culture, food is the pinnacle of connection. And commenting on physical appearance and weight was as common as saying how are you?
Every point here you said resonated with me and things I came to realize myself. This video is very real and very thoughtfully planned out. It’s such a hard topic to discuss on the internet with strangers now putting you under a microscope. Thank you for your bravery ❤
If you don't have restrictive issues with food, none of this applies to you. Obese people have different issues and need to have off limit foods and learn portion control.
@@lainiwakura1776she wasn’t just talking about restricting she was also talking about binging and general obsessive thoughts about food. Caroline would never want to alienate someone like this.
@@lainiwakura1776 What a rude comment. Actually the video has a lot to do with all sorts of obsessions around food. Obese people do not have to have off limit foods, that creates obsession around these foods just as Caroline talks about in the video. Whether you're obese or not it's always best to strive for a balanced, long-term way of eating rather than crash diets.
This hits me hard. I love how you admitted that you’re not a professional in all things and how you felt unlovable, because it echoes how I feel with myself. Thanks for being vulnerable and putting things into words that I couldn’t.
I downloaded this because I've never felt so seen or understood 🙌 im going to listen to it when i feel alone or unlovable or misunderstood ❤ thank you friend
I’ve always trusted you
And as someone who’s come through it…you dealt with this subject so beautifully
It was just right 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Please enjoy your time off
We appreciate you too
THANK YOU!! I’ve never figured out how to have a normal relationship with food. I was an orphan and there was always too many rules with different people about food.
In my experience (I’m 57) the wounds of eating disorders heal but the scars remain. There will always be a tender spot emotionally, but, given the opportunity, the body can take over the day to day management of eating. In fact, people comment on how carefree I appear to be with food and yet still remain a healthy weight. It did not come easily and I protect that tender spot ferociously. Nobody and nothing is ever taking me back there again. You are all loveable and you’re worth is not based on how your body looks or performs. Now we just need to persuade the Media of this.
You described me to a T. I started keto for medical reasons (recommended by my doctor) and it did wonders for my medical condition, but all the restriction gave me an eating disorder. During the 5 years I was keto, it somehow spiraled to me eating 1200 calories a day and obsessing over food. I planned vacations around food, I lost friendships, it almost ruined my relationship with my boyfriend.
It took me a long time to realize that when it came to my overall health, the keto diet was doing more harm than good. Sure, it alleviated my medical symptoms, but it gave me a slew of disordered eating symptoms I never had before. So I stopped January of this year. It’s been a full year and I’m still learning to trust my hunger signals and not feel guilty about “unbalanced” days. Looking back, I’m in a much better place now than I was a year ago. My medical issue is still under control, even though I eat desserts and bread now. I learned that a balanced life is medicine too, and that has been so freeing. ❤️
I feel you SO hard on this and have experienced the EXACT same thing-- thanks for sharing. I've been trapped on the low carb/keto/no sugar boat for years to manage medical and mental conditions. Its difficult , because it really does improve my conditions quite a lot....but it's exhausting to maintain, and the restriction and constant social friction wore me down and triggered big time binging. So in the end, its an unrealistic/unsustainable approach for me and ended up sending my health backwards dramatically from the binging. Now I'm working on finding that balance of choosing the foods that make my body feel the best, while also including food that brings joy -- recognising that nourishing emotional and social needs are just as important.
@@CG-lf8st I’m so glad I’m not alone in this!! You never realize all the factors that play into your health (like being able to eat all food groups, going out to dinner with friends without worrying about foods you can eat, etc) until you drastically restrict things. I have so much appreciation now for getting to indulge every now and then, and for listening to my body and being able to give it what it needs AND wants. Because you’re right, nourishing the body, mind and soul are all equally important.
Everything in moderation is always the best way to go. Not overly restrictive. But not going over the top. A happy medium.
Another person who had this exact same experience! Went on an insanely restrictive diet due to my health and whilst it alleviated some of the symptoms of the condition, it just created other ones. I have only just realised how restricting my carb intake so much was the reason I was experiencing insomnia. - my body couldn't relax because it was stressed due to starvation. I think these diets may be good short term but they are not a long-term solution. I started brain retraining and that has helped with my condition a lot more than diets and medicines ever did.
It's funny because I found keto/low carb to be freeing. Low gylcemic index food and fiber made it easier for me to not think about food. Sure I had to find substitutes for items, but taking it slow and finding what works for me, made sticking with this long term easy. I don't love the social pressure to eat junk, or being told "you don't need to worry if you gain weight, you're so thin", by obese people who are diabetic or prediabetic. People can definitely have distorted ideas of what is healthy on both sides. When I was stable at 5 or 10 lb overweight for around 20 years, I slowly felt thinner as the obesity epidemic around me got worse as the years progressed, "I also hated being told when I was overweight that I was thin and didn't need to care about my health more". Now that I am in the healthy weight range my family looks at me like I am going to get to be too thin, even though I haven't lost anymore weight in years and have been maintaining a healthy weight all be it on the lower end for my height for 7 years. I do think substitute items are easier to find these days, recipes are getting better as more people share what they like, and it helps if you can be in ketosis at a higher carb count or are willing to eat lower carb under around 100 carbs per day. Sorry it made you feel like you were lacking. I will never go back to eating sugar junk, chips or crackers, those things make me feel like crap. If I wasn't asking for sugar free almond milk and insisting on having mashed turnips instead of potatoes, or bringing my own bread and turning down dessert most people wouldn't realize looking at what I eat that I was eating low carb, I guess I am willing to defined this way of eating, I know it is not for everyone, but seeing the sick people around me makes me sad. Just this week my diabetic brother-in-law had his feet amputated.
Bloody hell girl, this is AMAZING! I've never considered that 1. I'm allowed to have a body preference, but also that b. my fight to get to my body preference is what's causing all these internal struggles. I need to go and ruminate on this...I can feel my brain resetting itself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Have a good break!
Finding the ‘woman’s weight loss secrets: the unspoken truth’ ebook should be your top priority, even if it’s the last thing you do in life
who is the author?
@@auntyamelia6906 this is probably a bot btw.
Olivia Thompson
Just checking in to say we miss you, Caroline. Definitely take the time you need, just know we’ll be here, popcorn in lap, as soon as you’re ready. ❤
Came here to say the same thing but you did perfectly ❤
Your "what I eat in a day" video was actually how I found you. But I actually love all your videos so much that even if I don't give a fig about interior design, I end up laughing and watching the whole video. I think it's because I love your honesty and genuineness (Is that a word?) and feel like your a friend of mine even if you don't know me. This video is definitely something I needed to hear. I have a 3 year old daughter now, and know that she sees everything I do and I don't want her to have to obsess about food or her body in the way I have ever since I was 13. Thank you for your honesty and for putting yourself out there, I really needed this video today.
It's like having aniexty and someone telling you to "calm down". Until you are "in it" sometimes its hard to understand ❤
There's actually scientific data that once you USE willpower to make a decision, you lessen the amount you have left (until it recharges). That is so FUCKING SPOT ON and was the #1 thing that helped me - tracking my willpower. I chanced upon that random scientific article and I've never heard anyone else talk about willpower being finite until now. You're so badass. Thank you for being vulnerable for the sake of speaking to that person (or people) who need it. I hope you enjoy the break and have a happy holiday ♥🎄
This video helped me. I won't get into my story but this did help. I hope you are doing okay and have a wonderful holiday and new year.
I hope 2024 is kind to ALL of us. We need it. 💖
My mom is a nutritionist and as a result, she can sometimes tend to lean into the "inflammatory foods" debate that ultimately means cutting out a lot of foods that bring joy, are easy to access, and are on every damn menu whether it be a health food store or greasy spoon. I am in the midst of an elimination diet and as much as I do feel better not relying on breads, simple carbs, sugars, and raw dairy, it has been emotionally a really strange time for me. Physically I feel optimal, but my emotions with food are still there. I am still figuring out balance and by the end of this elimination protocol I am hoping that I can have a more balanced outlook and not assign morals to food, but when you are trying to figure out what makes you feel like shit physically but whole emotionally, it can become so confusing and full of shame. How we got this way with food is beyond me, but I hope I can find peace soon.
thank you for sharing this. 🫂👍🌟
i feel you 100000000 percent on this. Hard to find the balance and compromise between emotional food needs and physical needs especially when they conflict and you have a health condition to manage. I find it helps to remind myself that balance isn't about being perfect and following one ideal rigid routine all the time, because that's impossible since our needs DO conflict and each need deserves (and demands) to be honoured. I think of balance more as a flexible prioritising of the biggest needs and priorities at the time, knowing we cant meet them all at once. Maybe its okay to lean a little more into emotional food needs at times and othertimes recongising your body is calling out for some prioritising of physical food needs? And over time, maybe what you get is a good overall trend. Just some thoughts I've been perculating over time.
@@CG-lf8st thank you for your reply, it is so helpful to know that others feel this same inner conflict and how to cope!
@@user-ql6xb7eq4k lol i was just about to recommend trying out some vegan alternatives to dairy products 😂 not cheese, vegan cheese is pretty mid most of the time, but there is vegan coffee creamer and vegan creamy deserts for example (in theory, don't know if these are available to you). vegan dairy alternatives usually don't have the same risk of inflammation als real dairy products. my other tip would be just to combine very healthy, high fiber and nutritious foods with low nutrition simple carb stuff. eg if you put a lot of greens or some veg on a simple toasty toast sandwich, it will make it more digestable and leave your bloodsugar levels more stable. same with pasta: if your sauce has a lot of veggies or legumes in it, you won't ruin your health just bc the pasta isn't whole grain. even eating a bit of fruit together with sweets will make the sweets more digestible and less confusing for your bloodsugar regulation. don't cut out foods you like 🙂
Literally how. How did you know ?? 😭😭 I’m 36 and yesterday, after being painfully aware of my body since first grade, being diagnosed with pcos in 2017, to gaining 90 lbs but mentally feeling terrified of food….I officially closed the damn door on diet culture!!! IM FREE!!! What a relief. Your video couldn’t be more timely for my life right now. Thank you for speaking so gently about this. You’re such a bright light. Thank you 🙏🏻❤
Hey Caroline! I don't know how to ask this, but I have been struggling with a serious mental health condition for the past 15 years (since I was 12y). I am finally stable and medicated, but this condition left me with hording disorder and lots of unfinished things. Can you make a video with tips on how to decorate/organize for people starting over?
I feel like I am finally discovering who I am. I would love to have a guiding hand through this journey, and it will be helpful for my family too. we are trying to cut the circle of trauma.
Thank you for all your work, I can't possibly thank you enough for the help and comfort listening to you provide me. Have a blessed day. 🙏❤❤❤
I've watched at least two of her videos about that.
You're doing home organization wrong and Home organization for chaotic person.
Thank you for being a helper. We need more Caroline Winklers ❤
My family has always called me fat, despite the fact that I've been a healthy size 4 to size 8 at the height of 5'8" all my life. Most of them are bigger than me, so I really can't explain why they've focused this negative energy on me. At 21, I also got into a relationship with a man who would call me fat and disgusting while I was a size 6...presumably because it was all I knew at home, so I thought this kind of verbal abuse was normal. When I met his family, it made more sense because his mother and sister looked like they were on the brink of death, were super obsessed with nutrition, and the sister even had to be hospitalized for an eating disorder (but none of these expectations applied to the men in the family, they were allowed to eat trash and be fat). All of this in my formative years caused me to be so obsessed with food. I'm always thinking about it lol, and I'm always feeling guilty when I eat it, even when it's meal time. I hope I can stop, but it's a lifelong habit.
It takes time to recover from family and partner abuse like that. Every time you eat, you hear them in your head even if you don’t care what they think anymore because you’ve been conditioned. I’ve been there, took me about 4-5 years to say I TURLY don’t think about it anymore.
I am and have always been small myself, but if I gained like 3-5 pounds of weight that I SHOULD HAVE HAD my ex would straight up threaten to break up with me. I finally just said “ok go” and kicked his ass out. I spiraled after that for a little bit l, but knew what I wanted. I just got fed up with counting calories and being obsessed with food, I was tired. The final nail was a _male_ friend of mine saying “hey you look seriously good. Really healthy” after a few months of eating without analyzing the nutrition facts and I was like … hey, yeah I really do! I was always getting compliments on my body when I was starving myself, but he was the first person to notice that I wasn’t doing it anymore and say something. He and I have since talked about it and he said he knew the whole time and just wanted to encourage me to be healthy without being overbearing 😭😭. He was perfect. I am forever grateful to him.
I have heard from many other people who’ve experienced this for whatever reason that they’ve all had kind of had an ah-ha moment like that. Many have told me that it was when they realized that they weren’t caring about food while they were traveling. One of the girls in my support group said it was when her mom told her to stop eating so much at a table FULL of their extended family and she shoved all of her food in her mouth and said “ I refuse to continue to starve myself for your approval” and her cousins all clapped 🥹.
It’s different for everyone, but you will get there if you stick it out. It’s a lot like kicking an addiction. Eventually you just stop thinking about it all the time. ❤
Sending lots of love! 🫂
This is so fucked, I'm so sorry you were abused and that it took this fucked up form. As someone with a lifelong eating disorder, i cannot FATHOM ever treating another human that way. In the end, its not about those peoples disordered eating--they were just abusers and their abuse just took a certain form that stemmed from diet culture and size prejudice. Family therapy has taught me that often in abusive family dynamics, they pick a 'scapegoat' to focus negative energy on. Sounds like you were the family scapegoat, and 'fat' was in their minds a terrible thing and therefore something to hurt you with. It's crazy how 'fat' becomes a feeling we associate with failure, gluttony, laziness, ugliness etc etc etc. When in truth, its just a state of being with no inherent moral status....meanwhile society acribing prejudice to peoples bodies is the true moral failure.
I had to leave my family for a while to recover. The only voice in your head should be yours and it should only be telling you good things about yourself.
@ravenswood I'm so sorry you are going through this. Any time you hear your abusers (aka "family") judging you let our voices drown out theirs with all of our love and support, you are BEAUTIFUL, you are WONDERFUL you are WORTHY and we love you. ❤️❤️❤️
Sending love and support to you. And to the others on this feed who didn't say their story, including myself. Even the people in that man's gamily and yours are ill and were made to be ill by some kind of abusive messaging or circumstances. You have somehow lifted your head above the muck that they are still consuming. I hope you are able to love yourself all the way out of the quagmire.
How deeply intelligent, balanced and grown up! I don’t have an ED but I have lost lbs45 and maintained that loss for over a year effortlessly. But I’ve started to put back a little of weight and I am a bit scared of food at the moment. This was so useful and resonated deeply. Take care. You are precious.
Thank you for this! 💜I'm in the process of recovery from an ED and I needed this today. Just listening to someone talking about how hard it can get, to just eat, helped me immensely. There is so much info everywhere about how to diet or lose weight, but nobody is talking about the other side of the spectrum. How hard it is not enjoying a thing that is pure pleasure for the majority of the people around you. The way you talk and think about a lot of topics is very inspiring to me, but today you gave me strength to keep going the hard but right direction.
You are beyond special and lovable, Caroline! Thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself with us! Enjoy your time off!
Caroline!! **deep breath as I try not to get too choked up**
Thank you for your candor and your willingness to be vulnerable. This is an incredibly powerful video. I, too, have been on a long journey of navigating the landmine field that is healing from a disordered way of eating to a more realistic way of eating. Now that I’m in my thirties there seems to have been some monumental shift in my mindset. Thank you for so many of the videos you create for us. Your video about falling in love with working out, changed my life. I have finally found a type of exercise that brings true joy and I get excited to go do. I never thought it would be possible for me. Your what I eat in a day video, so impactful. How to have a summer before it’s over, the perfectionist video, lazy guide to working out…seriously, thank you for the thought, time and effort you put into your videos.
I have also done years and years of work, therapy, reading, intuitive eating etc to finally be at a place where my body, my food choices and my exercise don’t consume all of my thoughts all of the time. I know each of us makes the decision and continues the effort to make lasting change in our lives. However, I would be remiss to not acknowledge how much your videos have helped me along that path. Thank you for being willing to be honest. Thank you for being willing to make difficult videos. You validate and give hope as you share your experience, and remind so many of us that we’re not alone. Though we have never met, you have left a permanent mark on my life, and for that I am forever grateful to you. ❤️Kate
As a fellow anorexic and binge eater of 15 years your advice has been really helpful. It's perhaps the most I've related to someone talking about recovery on TH-cam before. What works for me might not work for someone else and that's ok. We don't need to fit into the same neat little box. Recovery has felt overwhelmingly impossible sometimes but this video has made it feel attainable again. Thank you for making this. It was well thought through, super insightful and full of solutions. Thanks Caroline!
I’m so glad you made this video. I’m 53 now, but also suffered with an eating disorder through high school and college. It was such a very difficult thing to live with and recover from. I had no one. I hid it, tried to quietly get help, it was a very lonely painful existence. You are spot on in so many suggestions and points you made. I had to learn what worked for me as well in order to recover. It is a long road and keep being proud of yourself and trusting yourself, you will need to keep relying on those good instincts and strength you have built. Especially as your body changes throughout your life, pregnancy (s), menopause etc etc. You are doing great. We evolve all throughout life and you have the skills to thrive. I love that you are talking about it, it is brave and I appreciate the connection and felt validated. Thank you.
Lo e your comments about balance. When my kids were toddlers, the pediatrician told me to not get hyper about what they ate or didn't eat on any given day, but to look at the week as a whole. That seems like reasonable advice for adults too!
this video grounded me. ive been recovering from disordered eating for almost 2 years now and recently it’s been difficult- i was on the verge of relapsing and putting restrictions on myself again. but thank you so much for this, for reminding me that im loved. you have no idea how much this video helped me snap out of it.
Caroline, you are so brave to share your personal challenges. You are helping so many by doing that. I'm learning some general life's lessons too. Thank you for being so brave and caring.
Dude ty because I’ve been struggling with ED’s for so long have gone through the gambit of like intuitive eating- eating whatever u want whenever u want etc etc but this is the first time I’ve really heard someone talk about food obsession in such a realistic way.. this is exactly what I needed to hear!
I am obsessed with my health. I changed my seamingly good nutrition due to very high cholesterol, that I was never aware before. I wasn't obese neither overweight. In the process I lost weight. I feel great, and I care how I look. There are people who are obsessed with their health.
Hi! Thanks for being here!
Oxford Environmental Study Says: Be Vegan
✔️ All smart people are vegan. Here is why:
1. 🔴 The United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) published a report in 2006 titled "Livestock's Long Shadow," which concluded that the livestock industry is one of the most significant contributors to environmental problems, including climate change, deforestation, and water pollution.
2. 🟢 A 2018 study published in the journal Science found that if the world's population shifted to a plant-based diet, it could reduce greenhouse gas emissions by up to 70% and free up land equivalent to the size of the United States, China, Australia, and the European Union combined.
3. 🔵 A study published in 2018 by researchers at Oxford University found that adopting a vegan diet could reduce an individual's carbon footprint by up to 73%.
4. 🟡 The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) recognizes the impact of animal agriculture on climate change. In their 2019 report, they emphasized the importance of shifting towards more vegan diets to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.
These are just a few examples of the many scientific studies and reports that have demonstrated the environmental benefits of a vegan diet.
So glad you put yourself out there. This is such a great topic and video. I’m sure you will help many people.
You Go Girl….
I’m in my sixties and have just recently figured this out. Thank you for the reinforcement - you are helping a lot of people with this video I bet.
This is my first comment ever. This was so beautifully and thoughtfully done, Caroline. I'm glad you're here, sharing your realness with all of us. I think I speak for everyone when I say we really appreciate you. Happy holidays ❤
I cannot thank you enough for this video. Seriously. I'm one of the lucky people who never had to deal with an eating disorder...ever. BUT! I was recently diagnosed as pre-diabetic and my relationship with food was instantly changed. I'm now having to learn an entirely new way of eating and it hasn't always been easy. Granted, it is definitely not as difficult as what those with genuine disorders have to go through, but it is my version of thrust into the "eating challenged" world. My doctor and I are working on getting me past this/through this without medication and it is working brilliantly. BUT! (there's that but again) I'm now thinking about food far more often and was obsessing about what I could no longer eat (unless I wanted to take drugs with potentially bad side effects, and I'd rather avoid bad side effects. Mine always suck). I'm learning new foods to love....but now I'm dealing with "holiday" foods and families who just do not eat healthfully. Your info is invaluable to me. Thank you. It's giving me better ideas on how to manage my new "food world". Thank you. On behalf of those like me who are new to this, THANK YOU. 💖
I hope you dont mind if i share a few thoughts as a really sympathise with your situation! I know my comment is just going to be the opinion of a random fkn youtube commenter, but I've had 15+ years of eating disorders and loads of therapy...so take/discard whatever from here for whatever my opinion is worth :) A lot of people develope disordered eating or eating disorders as a result of being told to loose weight or follow a diet by their doctors, can you believe! Countless studies show that dieting is the number 1 risk factor for developing eds/ disordered eating, yet the medical model still continues to push dieting as the solution. The fact you're here on this video seeing this approach is such a saving grace, when the internet and the medical model are both full of absolutely terrible advice. You might find the 'intuitive eating' model helpful in your journey... it's what a lot of the most highly trained eating disorder specialists take their clients through. No foods off limit, no hard restrictions. Just learning overtime to make food choices in balance with your body and social/emotional needs without obsessing and stress. Other green flags are working with dieticians and practitioners who follow a 'weight-neutral' approach, a 'non-diet' approach, or follow the 'HAES' approach (health at every size). I'm not dissing your doctor or saying not to work with them, just simply passing on a bit of info/pitfalls/helpful hints to be mindful of that I've personally learned walking a similar path. Good luck!!!
This is my issue as well. Because of this medical issue I DO have to think about what I eat all day everyday
@@lilagood1963 The one reassurance I can give you is that it does become simpler with time, not necessarily easier, but simpler. I now tell people I'm diabetic and don't want my legs amputated (which happened to my aunt) when they get toooooooo insistent that I try a particular dish that is just loaded with sugar because "holidays!" (cue demented "happiness grin" here) That will stop some of them in their tracks. The more maniacal will never stop. I just walk away from them now. And yes, I know I'm not actually diabetic yet, I'm still on that first rung of a ladder I do NOT want to climb. So...simple. I'm diabetic. ANYway, Caroline's video gave me a new perspective and several ideas that I'm still fleshing out. All the best to you Lilagood1963 on your journey.
I just want to say, thank you. I have always had a problem with obsessing what I eat. As an avid runner, I think the sheer amount of calories I eat makes it easier to not think about it because I knew I just burned a lot of calories. But, about a year ago I got injured and couldn’t run at all. I was constantly thinking about food and how much I could or could not eat because I wasn’t “burning it off”. Thankfully, I’ve been able to slowly shift away from that and actually eat when I’m hungry. This just reminds me that it’s normal to be hungry and ok to eat when you are. So thanks:)
Hi Caroline, I hope you are doing well and just taking a break. Love you!
59 yrs wise here; exactly my emotional path to trust, peace, balance, acceptance and joyful celebration of my triumphant heart... to here. I am happy. I eat real food and treats that feel good. Thank you for your generous honesty!
Caroline, thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience on this topic. Your honesty and willingness make a difference out here for us.
I never hear anything in public discourse that makes sense about eating disorders. As a 40-year survivor of anorexia and bulimia, I find that for me, all that matters is not obsessing-- but it is so hard to convey that concept to people who don't have this issue. If I don't obsess, I don't binge. Period. If I don't obsess, I don't starve myself. Period.
There is massive public pressure that says: "Don't let yourself do what comes naturally, because if you do, you will overeat or have too much sex or steal or lie or kill people. It is this voice that says, "There is something broken in you, and you cannot trust yourself." It is shocking how much subtle pressure there is TO obsess.
It has taken many years for me to learn that I am not broken and I will not eat everything in the world if I have a Sonic Blast. But it is finally clear: if I don't I obsess, I don't eat crazily. 🎉❤😊
Thank you again!
Thanks for taking the time and emotional energy to share this. ED is serious and a debilitating illness, and unlike substance abuse, our bodies NEED food, but our minds struggle with processing such need. Again, thanks for taking the time to share this experience 🌹
I started struggling with eating around 15 and am 29 today and still dealing with it; I've had times in my life when it felt more manageable and others when it was fully out of control. I can feel myself slipping back into an out of control phase and this video was SO helpful and timely for me. Thank you for being open with us 💕
This is the most open, honest, and true conversation about eating disorders I have seen to date! It really hit home. I was 15 when I hit rock bottom suffering from Anorexia. The problem was that there was NO ONE who I could talk to about it who could relate or understand any of what you are saying here. Recovery (although never was I admitted anywhere for help) took years and years. I am now 39 and still battle that obsessive voice in my head. Being busy and staying active physically have always helped tremendously. I care how I look, always have, but allowing myself to exist in a healthy way and be in the body I was given is true freedom. Thank you for this ❤
You mentioned purging your social media and following people with your body type in a different video, and that helped with my body image issues sooooo much. Thank you, I never would have considered that on my own. ♥
Its refreshing to hear someone talk about this since its like you're not allowed to. So much of what you said 100% is me as well. I never knew I had a food obsession until the last few years - I thought everyone was like me and I just couldn't get the willpower to not gain weight. Im working on it too, but im in a much better space about it now than I have been before. I try to eat responsibly but still indulge here and there and not feel like im getting fat again from it because I balance out the rest of my week like you. Like you, its just taken me a lot of time and a lot of learning to build my willpower muscle . Its so much harder than other "normal" people realize. I was absolutely addicted to food and it was my only coping mechanism for most of my life. Its no way to live.
Pregnancy has helped my relationship with food and eating a lot. Oddly enough. Sure I have a hard time seeing my bodily changes that aren’t always the most aesthetic (and happen very fast) but I was at a better place when I got pregnant and then it kinda pushed me to finish the work.
It’s a long journey, be patient with yourself!
Why am I only 4:14 into the video and already crying ….you perfectly described what I have been experiencing including feeling isolated and somewhat alone
You are my spirit animal. Thank you for making videos and being so vulnerable . At one point, I deletes all social media and became a hermit. Your videos helped me come out of it. I appreciate you so very much. ❤🎉
I’ve been in ed recovery for about 1 and 1/2 years and you telling me that most behaviors praised in the internet isn’t realistic made everything so so much easier.. It makes so much more sense- thank you so so much!!!
I miss you Caroline! I hope you’re well and supported and that we get to hear from you soon! ❤
do you know why she hasnt uploaded in a while?
@@purplemulberry I’m just now seeing her pinned comment. She explains that she intentionally took a few weeks off but will be back after that.
@@Daymickey oh i just saw it lol, thanks!
loved your honesty to be serious. I meant so much for me to see that people cope with the same thing I cope with and are able to step foward and open up. Thank you!! so inspiring
Our family lost a relative who had a couple children of her own, so eating disorders are no joke. I can't imagine what she was struggling with so I appreciate you sharing and that you made it to the other side safely. In fact, you appear to be thriving. Hot pink is your color. Wishing you continued wellness.
Thank you so much, Caroline, for opening up on this very private topic. Your video provides hope to recover and get back to a healthy, self-appreciative, self-caring way of thinking and eating.
All the best from Vienna, Austria
Like most women, I’ve struggled with my relationship with food and my body. Being a teenaged girl in the 90’s was *rough*. So many of my friends were hospitalized due to their ED’s. I felt so powerless. I had no idea how to support them or help them but I did do my best to simply listen to them when they wanted to talk about it. I did notice that everyone around them had *opinions* on what they should and shouldnt do and a lot of people wanted them to never talk about it. And that broke my heart. I never developed an ED but I certainly had bouts of very disordered eating/exercise habits. I resonated with every damn thing you said. It really is very very personal. I, too, when finally saying “enough is enough”, went the route of making the decision to not deny myself anything I wanted. Something about scarcity makes our brains go haywire. I ensured I always had my comfort food of choice in the house at all times and I gave myself permission to eat it whenever I wanted and as much as I wanted. But yes, i did also make sure I ate at least SOMETHING nutritionally dense that day or else I’d feel like crap and that is always, for me, a recipe for disaster. And for me, not hiding it was key. Eating it in front of anyone and everyone unapologetically. It took me about a year as well to finally feel safe or satiated or whatever it was that went on in my subconscious. Now I totally forget to buy that food sometimes. Weeks can go by and I haven’t even thought about it. And often it sits there in the pantry for a week or more before I have some and I am satisfied after just a bit of it. That felt like a f’ing *miracle* to me. I would never have believed that would be the case. I thought I’d be a slave to those cravings forever. It had such a hold on my psyche and my emotions. I really appreciated you saying that it’s ok for us to care how we look, but that you won’t let that caring tip over into being unhealthy in any metric. I have arrived there as well. Being healthy and having my body be in a state that feels good to me is important but I know I have to be in charge of myself and accept that I also have to be mindful of how I go about achieving/maintaining that. I would urge people to also be very careful and selective about where they get their information about nutrition/diet/exercise. There are a lot more good quality, research based experts available to us now (which I certainly did not have when I was younger) but a lot of it is actually geared towards elite or very serious amateur athletes. And male athletes at that. They will often relay information or advice that is geared towards highly competitive people and it’s not advisable for people with disordered habits or proclivities to go that hard or be that strict. I highly recommend Natacha Ocean for anyone who wants good quality research based information about all things fitness and nutrition and health. She also has a history with disordered eating and is very gentle and compassionate and is just maybe the sweetest person on the internet. She has been an invaluable resource to me in all things intuitive eating while accomplishing fitness goals. And yesssss !!! That Hannibal quote !!! Maybe the greatest bit of wisdom I’ve ever gotten from a movie ever lol. Thank you for all of this, Caroline. I hope your time off refreshes you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ❤
Thank you for saying the last part about loveabliness. This is what I see and feel every day. It’s a relief to know that you are not alone in this feeling. Thank you
I don’t comment on videos often but felt the need to praise this video. I personally have never struggled with disordered eating but struggle with obsessive thoughts in other ways and this video was very helpful for anybody that struggles with obsessions. I love the part of trusting, that one hit the hardest and is what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much ❤
Wow, I think this is the video I've ever watched on ED that related the most to me. I am 22 now and even though I have never been clinically diagnosed with an ED, I have been obsessing about food since the age of 13. Every time that I felt like I was getting better something would happen and I would fall back into restrictive patterns. I have lost contact with so many people and missed out on so many opportunities because of it. I am doing much better today but I still get caught up thinking about restricting sometimes, so watching this video has been super super helpful. I related to so many of the thoughts and behaviors you described, it feels good to know that I am not the only one
I quit dieting years ago. I read several books about intuitive eating and eating like a naturally thin person. They really opened my eyes.
Kathy B
Thank you for being brave and posting this. It's such a struggle that i'm so grateful most people don't have to struggle with.
I so hear you. I have a condition Clycic vomiting syndrome which makes eating hard. Episodes have been a lot this year. So because of it I lean toward not eating at old. Love of your videos. California Joanna
This video truly hit home. I am trying to heal myself and my relationship to food and I cannot tell you how freeing it is to know the time I am reclaiming can start going to do things I enjoy again.
I’m so happy to see and hear how healthy you are today. This vlog helped me to realize how much I take for granted a kind of health I don’t typically practice gratitude for and that you have clearly so painstakingly and brilliantly dug yourself out of a deep hole to achieve. I hear how difficult the topic is for you; what a gift you’ve given to those struggling with this. For all who are suffering in this way, I send love and healing thoughts and energy your way.
I had to rewatch this now in April 2024 as I'm going through a period of not loving my body. I allowed myself to "go" from December through end of March. Starting over........ THank you for sharing so authentically and lovingly!
I love you Caroline, I know how doing food related videos is a big thing for you and appreciate you sharing
You sound like you're well on the way to trusting yourself. That anger is your rocket fuel to freedom. Good luck fierce one, you got this!
I understand that it's hard to talk about something so personal on the internet. I just want to say that I really appreciate this video. You addressed this topic before in a video and it made me realize that I have been obsessing over food. For years I had no awareness about it, but because of your videos I got aware. I was eating dinner, while watching this video. Normally I would just stop eating, when I finished my plate, even though I'm still hungry. Today I decided to not just stop there and eat more. I needed the awareness
As an ED recovered person myself, this was exactly how I did it too. It took a long time to rewire my brain (10ish years) and sometimes I know it's lurking. This advice is what I would give others too because it worked for me and apparently you too.
Good and necessary video. Thank you. ❤
As someone who suffered from ED for a decade and started really recovering last year, it's so nice to see someone talking openly about this. I love it. So happy you stopped obsessing and so did I! Thank you for sharing your story here. It means a lot.
I've struggled off and on for years with binging and restricting. I've recovered, I've fallen off the wagon, and I'm currently back on the ground again after getting knocked off during covid. I've done outpatient treatment, I've done Intuitive Eating on my own. I've never heard someone describe willpower the way you have. As an obese person with an eating disorder, "willpower" is the way people judge me because I don't have control over my weight. But looking at it as the willpower to focus on recovery, and the willpower to push through the disordered thoughts and behaviors, is a complete game-changer.
This video is so vividly relatable for me (and so many other women) and it blows my mind that most men don’t even think about this at all.
How brave of you! Thank you for your humility and generosity ❤
Thank you for making this video, Caroline. It's not easy to talk about this subject, not for me in any case. I used to obsess about food, my weight and my looks. I was so unhappy. I've never told anyone some of the things I did to achieve my unattainable goal. Because I can still feel the shame. As you mention at the end: the underlying feeling is the feeling that you're not loveable. What helped me get over my obsession was gaining confidence in other areas - getting a proper education and a (to me) more meaningful job, for example. Showing myself that I'm a good person, by taking proper care of myself, setting boundaries, and learning what I truly want. Learning to love myself. 💞
I check back on this channel every week for a new upload 😂 miss you Caroline! At least we have the podcast tho🫶🏻
Me too 💀
Your vulnerability is life-saving. Thank you for coming onto this platform and putting intimate parts of yourself to help others.
This was so valuable to so many, Caroline. Thanks for putting it out there. You're wise for your age. Respect.
When you spoke about your ability to see other's lovability easily while blind when looking at your own hit home so hard with me. It's also a wild time being cognizant of this and actively working to correct your own behavior. What a trip.
I loooove the focus and explanation on willpower. It’s so key here! I Since having a baby and having no sleep and working 10.5 hour days, I wayyyyy overeat and binge. Sleep really helps a lot for will power. Also, you strike me as someone who is a little ADHD - I recognize that because of how I am -just a little impulsive. It is a little bit harder to focus and have will power and not just jump up and grab whatever is in front of me.
And don’t worry about commenters. Our generation can be insufferable
i always feel so thankful to you after watching any and every video you put out. you feel like a big sister that i always needed.
This was a really good one, happy holidays from someone who also sees the beauty in everyone but herself. See you soon!
Caroline from the bottom of my heart … thank you ! I feel so seen and understood and this helped me tremendously seriously you are such a light !❤
I have had weird food restrictions for a long time, for various reasons, and I had never considered the amount of my mental energy this might have been using up, nor that, as each restriction was piled onto the previous ones, this may have become a sort of food obsession. A lot of the other ideas you presented I am already familiar with but these two are possibly a key to a little more freedom and self-trust, as well as a little more sensual food enjoyment!😊 Sometimes you just need to hear some different thoughts from a [video] buddy to give yourself permission to try a different mindset that you were trying to move towards anyway. Thank you for shining some light on this stuff. Have a wonderful break and we'll see you when we see you!
Finally, someone said it!!! I almost never hear anyone acknowledge that it’s okay to have a physical preference for how your body can look (within reason of course). Thank you so much for sharing!!! I have been encouraged to pursue my ideal healthy self instead of “being fine the way I am”.
Such a kind & thoughtful discourse, @Caroline Winkler.🥰 Thank you for sharing your relationship-to-food journey.
I developed anorexia after my father passed away, & as I grieved, it was a struggle to allow myself to eat...food tasted like cardboard. My collarbones, ribs, & hip bones were quite pronounced in those years. I can still remember my therapist cheering for me, when I told her I had eaten more than a bite of a piece of banana cream pie.
Your wise insights are much appreciated.😘 I hope you, & all of your beloveds, have blessed & wonderful holidays!
🙏❄🌲❄🎄❄🦌☃️🦌❄💚♥️💚❄🦌☃️🦌🎄❄🌲❄🙏
This was absolutely incredible. The most honest and real video i've seen in a long time. thank you.
I really needed this video as I am truly struggling with food obsession. Whether it's cute like "oh, what kind of an amazing plate can I cook for myself" or destructive in the restrict-binge-restrict-binge cycle... It takes so much space and time on my little head... Thank you for this video, it really helped me. Your authenticity is amazing, you are a beautiful human being
I haven't even finished this video yet and I want to thank u from the bottom of my obsessively eating disordered heart. You are a light, Caroline, keep shining girl 🌟💖
This video is so applicable to other kinds of obsessions that don’t even involve food. Even the concept of something that feeds you could be applied metaphorically to so many things and so many obsessions. Thanks Caroline, enlightening.
Caroline! I have been watching your channel for a while now (as well as listening to the podcast). I tend to be a real lurker on the internet and never really comment on anything so this is quite the rare occurrence for me. However, I feel compelled to say that I just adore you. I know I don't really know you in any way other than this funny parasocial relationship, but you occur as such a genuine and honest person, so creative and I really love your inclination to think deeply about life, relationships, one's self, etc. I am from Salisbury, MD and have often felt a kinship with you being from near that area (as well as that we just seem very similar tbh). I feel we would be fast friends (who never text, my favorite kind of friend). Anyway, I am also a therapist and I have worked largely with eating disorders for the past few years so I also just want to acknowledge that all the work you have put into your healing and change process over the years is no small feat. This shit is really hard and I am grateful you have put in the time and am grateful that you are here. I don't know if you'll see this, but I find you so very lovable.