I was worried about my grandmother being lonely because she lived alone. I kept asking if she thought about moving in with us, and she always said no. After the third time I asked, she said, "Look: I have lived with people all my life. I grew up with four brothers I had to take care of. I married your grandfather when I was 17 and lived with him for over sixty years. This is the first time in my life I have been able to have my own space all to myself, and I love it. So really, I appreciate you thinking about me, but trust me, I have been wanting to live alone for a long, long time." I never asked her again after that.
Mine too, she had had siblings to care for, then six children, then got beaten by first her husband and then when he abandoned her, boyfriends, and finally went to live out in a trailer in a field in Waco and said it was the first time she ever felt truly happy.
Go Grandma! Moved out of home when I was 20 and my kids moved out when I was 42. Been healing the narc abuse the last 6yrs and now can’t wait to live alone without the emotional abuse. Do I miss being kissed? Yes and no. 99% of them were mocking me for wanting one and it was like hugging a tree.
I feel the exact same way. I'm 72 and living alone, have been for over 8 years. After 3 awful marriages, I LOVE living alone and not having to put up with any of the crap anymore lol. I've got 2 kids, 4 grands and 2 great grandkids. They make me so happy. I've seen so many scary movies in my lifetime that they don't even scare me anymore! I can watch a scary movie now and it doesn't bother me. After my last ex husband, nothing is scary anymore! Lol 😊 💕 ❤️
This!! Living truly alone since November 2020. People keep asking (pushing) for me ro find a new partner, especially 'to not be alone at home'. I don't want to share my personal space anymore! I love living alone and can't even imagine another person in ly house, spending the night, living with me. I found it hard enough (but manageable) when my son (adult) stayed over for the weekend. He moved in with his girl now and I can't even imagine him around ALL the time anymore (which we'd still do, it's my child 😂). But yeah, I don't even want to live together anymore and I don't want a relationship that requires it. I don't want to blend in to another person's home and I don't want another person in my home.
Hearing another grown woman talk about being afraid of the dark and running to her room after turning off the lights is genuinely so comforting you have no idea
I used to be scared too but have been living on a few acres for a while and not scared anymore. Am moving to town at some point so hopefully I’ll able to adjust.
I don't think being afraid of the dark is something anyone should feel embarrassed about. I'm a guy and I have seen plenty of guys get spooked by the dark (including myself).
The intro to this video was singular. It felt like the opening scene of a movie. Way to capture the badass/elegant/vulnerable essence of living alone in one establishing shot.
She is a genius editor. I am completely hooked on her channel. So funny, and a wtf apartment. How you afford all the shit girl? Your family own an interior design company?!
[sorry if my English is not perfect, it's not my native language] Caroline, I don't know if my message will reach you but I hope so. My 5 years relationship just ended. My boyfriend died suddenly few weeks ago. This whole thing is terribly sad and disturbing. As soon as the shock has passed, one of my first worry was : I'm 31 and have never lived alone. I'm facing this whole new life that I didn't chose and am worried as hell. I watch every single one of your videos since the past year and I don't know why but I skipped this one (unintentionally) when it was released. I just stumbled on it today, when this question of leaving alone was torturing me the most. I think there are no words to tell you how your video gave me hope and comfort. And these days it's a very difficult challenge. So I just wanted to say thank you and I wanted you to know you made a tiny but important difference in the life of someone who is leaving the harder period of her life. So, thank you so much.
I also would say, don't undervalue "weak tie" relationships- i.e. the barista at your favorite coffee shop, the bus driver, the neighbor you always wave at on their porch, whatever. If you're living alone because you just moved somewhere new, and you don't have a network of strong relationships to rely on, cultivate the weak-ties! There's tons of research that weak-tie relationships are an important part of social life, and they help us feel happier and more enmeshed in our communities. They're important whether you have "strong-tie" relationships in your area or not.
Yes, I talk to secretaries and shop assistants more than I talk to anyone else. Met a lovely lady at the chiro this week who was so awesome and had also gone through a bad marriage too and gave me so much hope for living alone and enjoying life for the first time. How did I meet her? I helped her down a difficult, wet step and we got talking!
This! I feel like there have been studies on this and honestly...I can say that I notice when people are "missing". Sometimes that's all it takes too, to say "hey we haven't seen the neighbor with the wheelchair in awhile" or "odd, the lady who lives down the hall hasn't been seen in weeks". I feel like it can help if someone has an emergency or get's hurt and THEY are living alone. It's easy to notice when the daily waves, smiles, etc. aren't there when you have a routine of saying hello. Maybe you ask the landlord to check in on them/ their unit. Never know! I know personally I love when I am a regular somewhere like a coffee shop and the owner/barista says "haven't seen you in awhile!" when you go back, it's always comforting, like you would be missed even by people who aren't on a friendship/intimate level, it's still meaningful.
when i moved to a new city, alone, hours away from any of my friends or family, i got so much joy from my local librarians who started to know me well enough to not need my card anymore to look me up, and i appreciate and love them so much :')
I almost never comment on videos, but the intro was simply one of the best intros on the entirety of the internet and thoroughly grateful to have witnessed. I’ve never lived alone, turned 18 and moved in with my boyfriend who turned into my husband and 12 years and two kids later I have no idea what this kinda of alone time is like. But I now have a specific vision when I romanticize having my own space and boredom in my life.
I've been living with my hubby for close to 13 years now (moved from my parents' to an appartment together), and we have 2 kids, and that video made me crave a long vacation alone all by myself 😅 It's a feeling I have from time to time, I sometimes get to be alone for a few hours, but it's not the same as being alone for a period of time. Oh, the things I would do!
Have an awesome new chapter in your life! That intro was the best! Haven’t been single since I was a teen too and 32 yrs later I’m so looking forward to it. The first time I had the house to myself for a few days when my kids were 6 and 3, oh boy, I was a different person and it was exciting. Have never forgotten that feeling of freedom. Am looking forward to never living with a narcissist again.
Okay this is really wierd, but I just realized something. I struggle being excited about being alive. I don't look forward to much, except being asleep. I miss out on alot in my life becuase I will just sleep. My dreams are alot better then being awake becuase I always lucid dream. But honestly, watching your videos kinda makes me excited to be alive. To organize my room. Clean up all that garbage I have laying around. Make my space look pretty, and enjoy being bored. Idk just a fun little thought pattern I had. Basically your videos just really make being alive and doing basic stuff, look fun.
Caroline: defends herself when leaving the shower, checks under the bed and in the closet, hides weapons scattered throughout her apartment *Also Caroline: sleeps with earplugs in*
@@Caroline_Winkler Did the 'one earplug thing' for years! Fell asleep on my open ear, so they're both shut off. But in my sleep I toss and turn anyway, the earplug would fall out, so if anything happened I'd just hear it. Can recommend
Yah ! Something about the thumbnail encouraged my clicking, next: the audio got my attention: “is that her singing ? It’s super on-key !!” 🎼 (I don’t think it’s her singing. & that’s ok.) and then once she got talking, I discovered that I totally enjoy listening to this person !! I feel I may’ve been a bit cavalier in the quickness with which I subscribed 😳
me, too. I just heard a few minutes and SUBSCRIBED, which I rarely do~! I love living alone and keeping things simple, but this is gold.@@miahconnell23
“I cant tolerate the stimulation of music”. I loved the way you phrased this. It overwhelms me sometimes, especially if I can’t find the right music for the situation.
I like living alone. Been alone most of my life. The only thing is you have to do everything yourself. From cooking, cleaning yard work car care, running arrans, and there is no one to call if you need help doing something. Everything falls on your shoulder's If you live alone, you have to be prepared for anything. Even if your sick. No one to take care of you. But living alone is great.
I was married for 19 years when I fell and broke my back, resulting in living in a wheelchair because I was paralyzed . I finally divorced him after another three years of being married. I’ve lived alone now in a wheelchair for 15 years and it’s the most awesome experience I’ve ever had! All the pros you listed are great plus I really found a deep sense of peace in being myself. Don’t need a man now!! Whooopppe🎉
Yeah it’s the little things that make you glad how limited real life is. Self-care like trying new skincare masks or doing my own nails instead of a salon makes me feel this deep peace. Even just picking books from a library or bookstore or driving in complete silence or coloring/solving a puzzle
I am 33 and for the first time of my life I can afford to live alone. My mental health has improved SO MUCH in the past 2 months, I feel calm, I like to come home, I don't have to worry about anyone else being here or about the mess others make. It's just my own shit. Everything looks nice and neat, it's quiet and when I do want company, I can just invite them over, even overnight because I have a huge couch. I love it. Never wanna live with anyone else ever again. Except foster dogs. I am planning on doing that again.
This is the life I want. I long to move out but I can't afford it yet. I know the benefits will far outweigh any cons for me, congrats to you for taking this step.
Cooking for one tip: batch cooking and freezing! Chilli, soups, even some pasta dishes work really well reheated. If you like cooking but struggle with produce going bad, here's some tips I've picked up (hopefully they help you too): (edited because I remembered another tip) 1. Plan meals around using up produce: if a recipe calls for 2 carrots but carrots come in a huge bag, find a second recipe for the week that also uses carrots, or get some hummus to have with them as a snack. 2. ALWAYS check your fridge before choosing what to cook, otherwise you WILL forget that you have half a lime you need to use or half a packet of sour cream. 3. Invite people round and share food with them: one of my biggest pleasures in life is giving the people I love food 4. Meal swap with friends: batch cooking is great but one big drawback is it can be boring, so see if you have a friend who also batch cooks stuff and just swap some tupperware to get some variation 5. Learn about the best way to store produce for longevity: often the packaging you buy something in is not the best way to keep it fresh. I just started doing this and it's made a massive difference for something that's so simple! 6. One-pot cookbooks: these tend to have smaller portion sizes and also be things that reheat well! I really hope this helps someone if you like cooking and/or don't like/can't do meal delivery services for whatever reason (like me).
Yep. So agree. I love making, for example, freezer jams in the summer; butternut soup or mini-lasagna's in the fall/winter; using a bread recipe and making rolls (take out 1-2 and freeze the rest). Cooking/baking are enjoyable creative opportunities for some.
Hell yes! I went from a narc sister to a narc husband and would have loved to be able to heal and find out who I am without them. Didn’t know back then what a narc was and or that I needed to heal at 20. Starting to trust myself in my 50s. One time we were due to go to visit his parents interstate and I decided not to go. It was the best 4 days of my life. I couldn’t believe how I felt.
I am married with three almost adult kids that are at home. After the pandemic I was craving that “alone” space…my solution was gardening. Most of the gardening I have done alone, by myself, and it has given me newfound confidence. It is my space of silence, and flow. Just me and the birds. 👍
I just have potted plants but during the pandemic I went from never being able to keep anything alive to a lush garden of pots, growing poppies from seed, a now year old azalea bush that flowered for christmas, marigolds to keep the bees away, it really made outside a comfortable place for me. Also we get early frosts here as well as torrential downpour so I can protect my babies from that. Even when I smashed a chunk of finger in the patio umbrella tilt mechanism, it brought me peace. Loved dozing off on my bench in the shade with a headache. I very much feel I am waiting for it to be warm again 😂
I live alone and love it! Here's my additional suggestions to remove fear and creepiness: Put lights in dark corners. Either a desk light on the floor facing up with plants in front so they are underlit or backlit, or use fairy lights on the floor in the dark corners or areas, under leggy pieces, draped around plants, etc. ALSO CLUTCH: Since I don't have cable and hate watching TV, I have a fireplace video app on my TV and it stays on 24/7 with a fireplace crackling - my plants backlit behind it. When I come home, the house isn't quiet - it's cozy and crackling. When I wake up in the morning and come out to the living room - it's not a quiet house -it's cozy and crackling. When I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, my house isn't creepy and quiet, it's cozy and crackling. When I'm reading or browsing the web and relaxing... There is something about the sound and flicker of a fireplace that is PRIMALLY COMFORTING. I'm not kidding. Try it when you don't want (or in combination with!) talking, music, movies, TV, etc. as your background sound. Key is: have a background sound! Oh Also - I use the Sleep app to make a custom background noise to fall asleep to. I can never fall asleep now in a quiet room! The app plays gentle nature sounds all night with enough layers to not get boring. I use a combination of rain, waterfalls, flute, chimes, gong, and wind. And it has a fireplace sound too, so when I'm reading on my phone in the dark at night in my bed - I play the fireplace sound instead so it's right in my hands and the room isn't too quiet! lol
I do a similar thing where I leave the lights on on days where I know I‘ll come home after dark! So then I don‘t come home to a completely dark and creepy apartment but a cozy little cave 🧡
Having a dog really helps with adjusting to living alone. I've been living alone since i was 17, i was always very scared of the same things as Caroline, but whenever i got scared I'd look at the dog and think, well the dog isn't barking, he's calm, and since dogs hear better than us there's definitely nothing suspicious happening in the house. Plus, having a pet can help you feel less lonely, i would recommend it to get a dog if you have similar issues (or a cat, they also hear well and can alarm you) if you can. My dog is a senior and has recently lost most of his hearing ability, so i've been kind of going through the whole fear of the dark and noises experience again unfortunately...
Pets in general. I hated cats until I wanted a dog and couldn't get one because where I lived only allowed cats not dogs. But I agree they can make you feel calm. Especially when they're purring away and happy. But then there are times like the other night... two of my cats were starring at something I couldn't see! Big huge eyes and then out of no where the last one came running out from the other room, big eyes and jumped like 3 ft puffy tail, clearly terrified. And then all 3 of them were starring... I was so scared!
THIS! I loved this video, but I’ve never had the fear thing… and then I realised - I HAVE A DOG! and you just have to be strong for them because they scared of everything 😂
I loved that opening scene, it represents freedom and courage and the joy of being a woman. It can be in those moments that you feel most alive. It's not about sexuality, it represents embracing your body, facing your fears, letting go, and finding out who you are - there is nothing sexier. Living alone provides an opportunity for growth.
For a long time I struggled with cooking only for myself, and even more with tidying up a space only seen by me. What completely shifted my perspective and thus my habits around it was to consider these things as amazing self-care. A pure luxurious treat. Having a tasty home cooked-meal, spending time in my room smelling nice and fresh is like a gift I give to myself everyday. It gives me so much pleasure honestly, and really highlights any dull day.
Thank you for that. Take care of you! Enjoy life! I’ve been using a nice soap in the shower as my treat and linen spray on my bed. I bought some diffusers too. Still hate cooking but at least I get to cook my favourite meals. I had to get therapy to be able to wash up and go in the kitchen as my sister made life hell washing up as kids and my husband couldn’t complain enough if I was in the kitchen and hated my cooking. Now I can wash up each day and keep the kitchen tidy. I dance while the microwave is on and sing a parody song when unstacking the dishwasher.
@@HappyHarryX5 that's awesome Fiona! Therapy was also what allowed me to shift my perspective and learn how to take care of myself. I'm glad to read that you found in yourself the strength to do so too ❤
Yeah this mindset also helped me recover from my mental breakdown. after getting out of the hospital, recovering from my mini embarrassment and having to withdraw from my classes I fell into a depression and was trying to keep myself from severely disassociating. The first thing that helped me come back was making the decision to shower but in a way that meant self-care/self-love and I was just crying because I realized subconsciously I thought I didn’t deserve the care and love
I loved to live alone. I could have candles, plants, funiture, or music loud if I want ... And now , I have to live in constant compromise ...And I tell you CONSTANT :////
I am 70 years old, married for 49 years, and have never lived alone. At the age of 22, I moved from my parents’ home into my own home with my new husband. I was terrified at that age of the thought of being self-supporting and totally responsible for all my needs. It was the one important step I missed in all my life passages. Not surprisingly, I daydream regularly about what it would feel like to live alone and I spend inordinate amounts of my down time watching TH-cam videos of decorating studio apartments and going solo. It is the one major regret of my life-that I didn’t spend some ‘adult’ alone time before marrying.
dear Pam, no need to regret. everyone has their own journey. I am sure you can find alone time in a relationship as well. For example morning walks alone, reading, and so on. Alone is mostly a state of mind. :)
The best takeaways from this video for me personally: 1) boredom is the breeding grounds for problem solving and new revelations, so don't be afraid of doing your chores in silence. 2) Your feelings are SIGNALS. i am often a very lonely girl, with no siblings and a busy family and am very shy /self conscious. I also realized i feel more lonely because I'm unsatisfied with my current livelihood, job, education, and other things that have nothing to do with loneliness except that loneliness is how my body immediately manifests negative thoughts!! therefore truly, our feelings are signs. don't see them as things to get rid of - instead, listen to them. just like hunger. gOODNESS i LOVE you and your ADVICE
I lived alone for 3 years, moved in with roommates (1yr), and then a partner of 7 years (2 yrs), back to living alone again. My first round living by myself was awful, not going to sugar coat it. I was often freaked out, couldn't cook for myself, and had little to no friends. After living with others and now living alone again - I really cherish my time by myself. Is it difficult? Yes. But, I can do things on my own time for myself when and how I want to. I love your video and did a small cry when you started talking about living alone after a long relationship. It's repairing myself of the bits and pieces that he gave me for so long, and filling it with friends, long walks, going to the produce stand for a single peach, and not adhering to anyone but me. No one else is going to be around for you when you're alone - it's all on yourself. And honestly, I've become my own friend again setting my boundaries became easier and my standards have been raised. Living alone again has it's ups and downs, in the end it's healing.
Caroline...you are TOOOOO FUNNY! You go from not being afraid of being seen naked when you opened your blinds, to running down your hall terrified after turning off your light. You are DEFINITELY UNIQUE...and that's why we all love watching. Keep being YOU!❤😊😊
I have a great tip for not having to check potential hiding spots every night; stuff everything absolutely full of random junk until there’s no room for anyone to hide. Not even my cats can hide in my closets. It’s awesome and definitely a deliberate strategy and not a result of the intense separation anxiety I feel when I get rid of things. 👍
That intro was such a masterpiece in and of itself. I love living alone. No-one talking at you non-stop when you come home from work, nobody else's stuff cluttering everything. I'm the opposite though, I never was scared of being or living alone. I would absolutely benefit from not hiding inside my comfort zone by living with someone.
When I decided to share space with my partner it was after being together for 9 years living separately (15 minutes away). I needed that time and space to decompress from a previous (very bad) relationship. It allowed me to welcome the man of my dreams when he showed up in my life, and simultaneously do the healing I needed to do on my own. I am much more secure and confident because I took that time to have my own space. We share a place now and it's good. We still have our own rooms/territory we can retreat to, in order to have alone time and recharge.
Awesome! Well done on taking time for yourself. I’ve been healing for 6yrs from my horror marriage and if I find someone new, I want to be the best version of myself I can be. My husband took over every inch of space he could in our house so having control over my new physical spaces is going to be fabulous. All the best to you!
I got out of a 30 year very abusive relationship. Before that I was a teenager and lived with my parents. Now I live alone and I am 54 years old. I love love love it! I’m old enough to make my own choices, I’m old enough to act the way I want, and I really love not having to compromise with anybody about how my house is or what I want to do during the day. Love this video! Keep up the good work.
I’m pretty much the same with 32yrs of hell. Thank you for the hope after divorce. Going through it at the moment and my narc is worse than ever. Enjoy your new awesome life! Take care of you. I’m going to decorate my house, cook how I want, walk how I want, shop where I want, turn a door knob the way I want and no one is going to tell me I’m doing it wrong. I love coming home to an empty house and yelling out hello gorgeous!
I LOVEDDDDD living alone. Somehow was never afraid and slept like a baby. I tell people this (including my husband) all the time that my biggest regret with our relationship was meeting him so soon because living alone was the absolute best best best. And I did it for the first 8 months of the pandemic so I was ALONE. It was amazing. Live alone and start painting and romanticize that lifeeeeee. K bye.
Saaaaaaame! I met my now fiance a year into living alone and it's my favorite. I'm getting married in two months and I'm kind of mourning(??) that I won't have the place to myself anymore? It's a weird feeling. I'm grateful for the change and I'm very excited to marry him but like... my apartment is so nice. 🥲
i had a friend share with me that she moved in with her then bf (now husband) and was quite happy, but then also fel the need to live separately at least to know what it was like. He understood and they moved out and she loved it....and also now they're married and living together. There are pros to both!
@@Caroline_Winkler I don’t mean to sound like I don’t love living with my husband 😂 fortunately for me he has great taste and is a wonderful artist so it all worked out in the end lol
OMG THANK YOU for talking about not having music on. My friends treat me like a mutant because I don't listen to music in my house and sometimes I even forget to put music on in my car. What can I say, I'm completely entertained by my own thoughts. Anyhoo, thank you for this video--I'm a single mom whose son will be leaving for college in the fall and I'm terrified of feeling bored and aimless. Plus I live in a very creaky house, so I'll start training now so I can be ready to run by August.
ahh that sounds like it will definitely take a transition! big change. But I hope that after a bit of a transitional period you'll find a lot of new freedoms and delights in your home ❤ also yes all day to silence
It’s so cool to have an empty nest though the only thing I’ve found is that I can’t ever decide on what to cook as I’ve mainly cooked what everyone else wants. The silly thing is I can cook all my favourite meals and I still can’t decide even 10yrs later!
@@Cherrysmith2809 Me too. I do have the TV on to keep my mind occupied though but the last several years have been learning a lot on youtube instead of watching my favourite shows in preparation for living alone. Wish I could enjoy the silence though but my mind just ruminates over my horror marriage.
i've been living alone since i was 18 years old. I'm 28 now. I hate living with people. ABSOLUTELY HATE IT! the only con is: when something is too heavy for you to move and you need a second person to help or you go on vacation and you need someone to watch your pet or your downstairs neighbor is abusing his girlfriend and the cops show up at 4 am (this actually happened) or you hear a rodent or a bird in the wall (happened to me many times, there is literally nothing you can do about it though) that's all. The end. Most of those i can hire someone for or contact my landlord to fix.
Iconic 👑 I fkn LOVE living alone. A good tip I do is always have a "sick kit" pre prepared. I have a week's worth of paracetamol/cough mix/flu tablets/stock for soup/soft tissues/hydralite/dry biscuits in a box so if I get sick I can hole up without needing to get specific things from the chemist. All these things could be dropped off by a friend or delivered but it makes me feel like I'm taking good care of myself to have everything I need on hand.
I'm 39, and I love living alone so much I worry I'll never be able to share a home with anyone ever again. My space gives me so much peace and I love spending time on my own (can you tell I'm an introvert? lol). I think you just have to get to know yourself to figure out what works for you, and often times the best way to figure that out is to spend time with yourself. :)
Yes, I have the same thoughts as I've been living alone for years now (after divorce). Hard to imagine someone else in my space and all the demands others put on you.
I’m so guilty of that roommate comfort thing. It’s true, you don’t get lonely with roommates, but it’s a superficial short term solution. You’re so wise for your age Caroline. Wish I’d known all this 20 years ago.
I never thought I could live alone … I’ve now been doing it for 3 years, and I’m worried I never want to stop. 😅 You really do adjust and it can be quite lovely. One random tip, especially for those afraid of the dark: dusk to dawn night lights! Especially for the bathroom. I’m obsessed - even if you don’t live alone, they are fantastic for evening ambiance. 👌
I have lived alone for near 10 years. I am so in love with it that I am legit worried that if and when I find a someone to share my life with, I won’t ever be able to adjust to living with them. But for now, living alone is my happy place. Ps. Loved this video. What a great topic. Thanks!
@@Caroline_Winkler I worry about this too. I was married for many years and I have been divorced for a decade. With my children now mostly grown, I think about meeting someone, but I don't know if I could live with someone. I think the ideal situation would be to live right next door to each other, so you could visit anytime but go home.
@@elizabeths.9692 I’ve heard of married couples doing this, each person either has their own room with a separate bed or lives in an entirely different house.
I lost my dear husband almost 5 years ago. This is the first time I've ever lived alone. Your advice is SPOT ON. I learned that I like my own company! I saw myself in EVERY SEGMENT! 🤭 Thank you!!!
I’ve lived alone for almost 15 years. The biggest cons are: 1. Getting sick and having no one in the house to take care of trash, litter boxes, etc. 2. When the electricity goes out for several days (this has happened to me several times) it is difficult and extremely boring.
Another con is you don’t practice small talk. Also living with others can shame you into doing things like getting out of the house instead of binging on Netflix. Sort of nudge you out of your comfort zone. She did mention being intentional about socializing and going out.
I keep a journal. Its amazing. I tell those day to day highs and lows to this journal. It helps me to get stuff off my chest at the time, but I also have learned so much about myself along the way! Weirdly, it's like my future self is listening to my past self. I've gained compassion, respect and have just learned so much. I highly recommend
i’m in this exact situation right now and my god, living alone has been an almost spiritual experience. i never decorated or put much effort into spaces that i shared with others, and once i got my own place after ending a 5 year relationship, suddenly i was ready to decorate. the way i’ve explained that to my friends is like….. you’re decorating all on your own, with no input from anyone else, it’s all YOU and it’s bringing your inner world into the physical reality. and you look around and like what you see, and realize that you like what’s inside your mind as well. it’s a physical expression of who you are…. idk man, very impactful ❤
I lived alone for 7 years and yes I did learn a lot about myself. The best thing i remember about living alone is that where ever I left something - that was where it was. After living with my husband and 3 children, what a change! I could find my scissors, my pen, there was still a soft drink in the fridge. Pure luxury!!!
I lived alone for almost 7 years and I LOVED it. I loved coming home knowing that there wouldn’t be any expectations on me and I could just decompress. Silence was definitely my favorite way to spend time at home haha
I've come to love living alone a few years ago. I lived with my husband for about 2 years before we had to do long distance because of our jobs. We hope to move back in together in autumn. Our plan is to kind of room together - we both get our own room for sleeping, creative stuff, interests, whatever and have some sort of kitchen/living space. We can do "sleepovers" at each others room whenever we want but have the option of keeping things separate which makes having different daily routines way easier. And I can also do whatever I want with my room (furniture, decor, ...) without thinking about my partner. That's freeing sometimes. Some additional tips on cooking for one: - Cook something that you can easily freeze and freeze half of it for another time. This also works with parts of a meal. - Mealprep, but not in the traditional way. Rather prepare different components that you can mix and match. You could also only prep a few basics (dressing/sauces, cut stuff, ...).
Boredom allows connecting with our inner creative muse ... and sometimes it is just okay to be bored. We live in an overstimulated world. Good to give our never endings and brain cells a rest! Just saying.
The relying on drip fed socialization from your roommates thing is so true. My biggest mistake in the past few years was following my close friends to room together in a city where I personally had no attachment to. I relied on them for all my socialization needs, and when one decided to move out, I realized I had nothing of my own here and had no idea how nor desire to start building my own life here. Looking back, this behavior seems pretty concerning but I really didn't notice at the time. I'm moving to a city of my own choosing in a few months, and I can't wait to start building real meaning & connections in my life. I'll still be living with friends though, as it's quite expensive living alone (perhaps this is another con you could have mentioned). But I hope I can still take the lessons from your vid to apply to my new venture & avoid making the same mistakes again. Thanks Caroline!
Related to the cleaning bit (and possibly the decorating bit), I found the best/worst part of living alone after living with other people is that you find out what your thresholds are for "mess." There are many kinds of mess. There's "clutter" (empty amazon boxes, junk mail), "gross" (dirty dishes in the sink, toilets that haven't been cleaned), "disorder" (clean clothes that haven't been put away), "entropy" (dust, leaves blown in near the door), and I'm sure many other categories I'm not thinking of, or different categories as to how you break that stuff down in your head. When you live with someone else, the fact that your threshold for acceptbable levels of a specific kind of "mess" (let's say "clutter" for example) is lower than the other person's can be a source of conflict, because you are bothered by the pile of empty amazon boxes but it doesn't bother them, so you're always taking care of it. When you live alone, the types of mess that don't bother you can build up without it starting a fight with someone. This is amazingly freeing. The downside of it is that you can let stuff go too long if your thresholds are super high and you never have anyone over to notice it (like if there's a pandemic and you are the only person in your house for 18 months).
Damn that intro scene really called me out, i watched this whole video while doing laundry and picking up around the apartment... completely naked xD I have lived alone for a few years and it's amazing. This is my space and I get to be safe and keep out literally everyone. I can hide away when the world gets too overwhelming and I carefully choose who I invite here. I can decide to paint the ceiling at midnight, or make cookies at 3am, or go to bed at 7pm. I don't have to text or synchronise plans or ask or inform anyone about my bedtime, whether I spontaneously stay out with friends after an event, whether i make the executive decision to stay home that day. Even though I was never in a very controlling situation, living alone gives you a different kind of mental freedom which I think is important to experience. It has helped me so much to realise i have to be my own adult and keep my own life on track (sometimes more and sometimes less successfully, and that's okay). I make my own happiness and any partners or friends I invite into my life better add to that or are at worst a neutral party. I don't need or want anyone to "fix" my life for me, that's my responsibility. And I don't want to fix anyone else's life either. We're all adults and have to make our own choices of how we want to live and what actions we permit ourselves. And ideally, we can be silly and create bits of happiness along the way :)
🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I LOST EVERYTHING WITH THE LITTLE DOOR YOU NEVER CHECK "AND IF SOMEONE IS LIVING IN THERE, SO BE IT - IT'S THEIR HOME NOW" 😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I'm in LOVE with this channel, IN LOVE! ❤
ok i've seen a lot of comments saying how your videos are giving hope to people, and i am one of them. i look forward to your videos every week. for someone in my 20s trying to figure out shit and change career paths, you inspire me so much. thank you, caroline. thank you!
this is my favorite kind of comments. you truly made it so rewarding to make videos. Thanks for sharing this with me, and i am extremely touched that the videos feel valuable. life is constant transition, you got this 😘
I am in my 60s and I completely relate to all Caroline’s videos. Life is one giant transition and the sooner you learn to embrace it the better. Sadly, I’m just now figuring it out, and Caroline’s perspective has been so inspiring to me! 🥰 I finally feel seen. P.S. I’m a middle child 🤪
Omg the garlic part killlllled me. But in all honesty, as a mid twenties woman living alone this was so so accurate and helpful. It also helps that I have a dog and he keeps me grounded and also forces me out of the house so I can’t go full hermit. Also, as a former true crime aficionado, I would recommend to women living alone to limit your watching/listening. I used to listen to it during my walks with my dog and was SO paranoid and couldn’t even relax on what was supposed to be a mental health walk. When I stopped listening and just kept it to music I was able to enjoy my environment so much more. I’m not saying cut it out, but don’t be the perpetrator of your own paranoia.
Caroline, I agree with everything you have said about living alone, except feeling afraid. I have lived alone for 30 plus years, ever since I was divorced. I absolutely love it! I can revel in creating my own time and priorities. I can bask in my own preferences: bananas and peanut butter for dinner; eating anywhere in the house; reading for hours; vegan and gluten free food; wearing comfy silly clothes; affording special food for my cat; not watching the news; watching Sesame Street or anime instead; silence; in short living my best introvert life. My job involves a lot of intense contact with people, which I really enjoy, and I love seeing my friends and family members, but I like being alone just as much, maybe more. I have little routines I follow which are comforting like setting up the pillows on my bed in a certain way, making food for the week on the weekend, visiting a labyrinth and going to public gardens seasonally, having breakfast in bed every morning while playing Wordle and Spelling Bee. For some people, I think it is the best lifestyle choice.
I am a 65 year old woman ( for context). I went from living with my parents, to living with my mom and sister, to getting married and divorced, to living with my parent with my little ones, to getting married again...and divorced again....and never lived on my own or owned a car and home of my own UNTIL I was 45 years old!! It took a few years to find my footing, but when I did, I absolutely loved being on my own. Recently retired, figuring out a new rhythm and daily purpose. I have never felt more fulfilled. Oh, and btw Caroline, I just found your channel 2 days ago and love your unique content. A combo of creativity, home decor, visual beauty & organizational techniques, self reflection, gratitude, exploration, validation and comic relief. Thank you precious lady for sharing your heart and soul with us all. You are lovely and are loved.
I never ever comment (just a lurker who enjoys your content immensely) but came here to say that your sister's cameo was just a dee.light! So smart, literary and non-plussed in dropping such casual references as Sarte and Woolf. Looking forward to her book, as well.
She is truly too sharp and well read for her own good! She’s one my biggest encouragers, and she is a complete idol to me❤️ so glad everyone got to experience a little bit of her!
Here it is! We’re doing a live book club event on June 11, if you want to read it by then and join! Will either be on TH-cam live or Instragam live - I’ll share more details beforehand! www.simonandschuster.com/books/Shakespeare-Was-a-Woman-and-Other-Heresies/Elizabeth-Winkler/9781982171261?fbclid=PAAabYyaEcrDzW-SRRstolfFo57rlJWxrVbyeN_uApjMDkxZB8JqqMmE8B8QQ
As a 31-year-old middle child who LOVES living alone but is still DEATHLY afraid of the dark/ghosts, this is the most relatable video of yours I've watched so far. I laughed so hard! 🤣 And 100% agree with every sentiment 👏
I love living alone; but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't, like something is wrong with me. That feeling does not change the fact I need to be alone, silence is so golden. No drama, OMG, I hate drama. I have learned to do things myself & not depend upon other people to help, because let's face no one likes to. They do it out of some sort of obligation. Thanks for the video.
I do not live alone, two kids, heavy hobbies spreading hubby but I loved your video and found it so amusing. Your very funny and honest and love your videos. Going to check out your podcast, keep doing you girl cause you are truly fresh and something good to be online.
thank you for your view on boredom . i had an old friend who had a motto that was " only boring people get bored . " and how much that phrase ruined a part of my psyche is still astounding . boredom is absolutely essential to growth .
I love living alone!! I’m Not a typical introvert but I relish not having answering to anyone and doing things on my own terms. It amazes me how many people are afraid of living by themselves. It really is the greatest way to learn about yourself.
@@leonore3349 living alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have relationships with others. I find that I’m better off in my relationships when I also have time and space to myself. It’s a balance for me. Otherwise it’s too much together time and I don’t enjoy it after a certain point. I’m also a middle child and grew up in chaos - I’m Not sure if that has anything to do with it.
I love living alone too. My children are on their own and I’ve been married twice. I enjoy not feeling like I have to have dinner ready at a certain time, etc., feeling pressure to be a certain way. I come home and relax if I want, do whatever I feel like doing, not what I feel is expected of me. I read, spend time with my sweet dogs, cook, watch shows, spend time with friends & family, exercise, etc., whenever I want. It’s freeing and I’m very happy. 💝
For the cooking problem, just cook like normal and stock the freezer with leftovers. If the recipe is really big then I’ll just cut it in half and freeze some. It’s nice too bc on days I don’t feel like cooking or eating out there’s usually something in the freezer I can quickly reheat
I was just this morning thinking about how I hope you're uploading soon 😍 I love living alone, but having a dog definitely helps. Partly because she's my buddy and keeps me company, but also because I trust that she would let me know if there was someone hiding somewhere in the apartment.
i do think about getting a dog a lot. i think i wouldnt be afraid then. i just know im not around quite enough to be able to care for one, but i feel like a pet is such a great buddy esp when living alone
Caroline you are so strong, you are a unique, phenomenal person! I live with my husband, no children yet the first time I adopted my cats, it completely changed my life! I think I understood for the first time what ‘free’ love is! Frankly I don’t think I could live alone without the presence of those warm living furries. Being alone and feeling alone are 2 different things. If your family lives abroad or you didn’t grow up in this country, you may have a hard time feeling really close to the new friends you are making as an adult. I highly recommend a pet. I love to travel so yes, finding a pet sitter can be a bit inconvenient. I use Rover and reuse the sitter if I like him/her the first time. We also live in a doorman building in NYC so it’s easier but when I lived alone in Ann Arbor in a house, I asked and paid a neighbor to feed the cats. You are making wonderful videos Caroline, thank you!
Dear Caroline, I also wanted to reply to previous videos where you say something like ‘you are not mariage or relationship material’. Caroline stop putting those sad thoughts in your mind, you are going to be the wonderful happy wife of a fantastic man and a wonderful mother! I used to feel this way as well so here is what I think has happened in your previous relationships: you are going out with guys who are below your level. For a long time you were in the acting environment and perhaps your choice of men got influenced by that environment. You come from a wholesome, highly intellectual family and I don’t think you realize how loving and functional your family is, compared to others. Your parents are together and you have 3 successful siblings. So you need to search for a guy in THAT environment and at the same level as you or higher. You said you had a boyfriend who was abusive and treated you terribly. I bet it’s bcoz he felt you were superior to him and he couldn’t take it, so he needed to make you feel small. I too, was so insecure and going out with guys below me and they eventually were rejecting me. It took me years to understand my ‘power’ and my ‘charisma’. Now I know I could have gotten any man I wanted. You have to realize how powerful you are Caroline, you have charisma and wit and you look great. First of all how many women your age have this cute face, phenomenal body and more importantly your personality, character and family background? Btw did people tell you totally look like Kate Middleton? I also find something Jewish about you (I am Jewish so that’s a compliment): Smart, analytical, empathetic, neurotic 😁, wants to improve the work (Tikkun Olam), likes a bargain 😄! My advice is: you are shooting too low. Your mom teaches religion in a college, your sister went to Yale and Stanford, go look for a man in those environments, someone with a PhD, or at least a successful professional career. You are also very spiritual so perhaps someone who is a bit religious, a nice Christian boy or nice Jewish boy. You are an alpha type so you probably need someone more reserved, less extroverted than you are, but with a warm heart and who likes that you are high energy and more extroverted than he is and a tat exhibitionist 😄. Someone like your mom or dad or brother or sisters. Are there any Harvard or MIT events or the equivalent in Washington for singles? GO there! Smart, academic men love women like you. I have a PhD in Physics from Columbia so I know their type. But since you are athletic he should also be cute and in a decent shape. You are investing a lot in your videos, start investing in a search for your future husband. But you cannot act or feel insecure about it. Ask yourself: ‘I am 30, what if someone could foresee the future and told me that for sure I’ll meet my husband when I am 34 yo? How would I feel in those next 4 years when I meet a potential date? Would I be relaxed and easy going or would I feel anxious that perhaps I like him but he won’t like me etc.‘? I bet you would be more relaxed and funny and picky bcoz you should! So that’s how you should go to a date even without that prediction. Another tip: if you worry about biological clock and children, then in a year or so, think about freezing your eggs. It’s a month of injections and a bit of money but it’s a peace of mind for the future. Then you can meet your husband when you are 39 and still have children. Of course you’ll meet someone before. Even statistically, how many women end up without a life companion? But again, forget about actors or loosers and search for ‘good guys’ in academia or a successful professional, perhaps a Washington international lawyer, someone with an open mind. Invest at least one day a week to search for him with all your resources, like you invest a week to make a video. It WILL come, you are worth it. If you read this comment, please lmk. I had thought about writing it for a while and finally invested the time today to do it and I'm glad I did. Thanks
@@Caroline_Winkler If your circumstances eventually allow, I'd definitely recommend getting a pet. In the meantime, consider using some type of nightlight in your hallway and/or other strategic locations.
Age 64 here. When I was younger I was so scared being alone. That goes away over time and I LOVE BEING ALONE. Married now, so it’s hard to be alone. I miss it.
I live alone and love it. I decorated my condo in my style and didn’t have to compromise. I’m a minimalist and I don’t like clutter so I don’t have to put up with someone making a mess. While I enjoy people and going out, I like my alone time. I can watch what I want on TV, listen to music when I want, and just do what I want. I live in a condo One thing I would recommend is getting remote for you shades so you don’t have to clime on a table to open them.
You echo so many of my own thoughts and discoveries. One minor point to add about those transient and inevitable feelings of loneliness. I've found that it's much easier to tolerate feeling alone and living by yourself than feeling alone and having a partner/spouse/roommate that you aren't connecting with. Perhaps a little depressing but I think it explains a lot of how the desire for solitude can reinforce itself over time.
I am 63 and have lived alone ever since graduating college. I’m never lonely; I love being alone and not having to check in with anyone. I fall asleep watching true crime videos and do not have nightmares about them, nor do I have a home security system. Try living alone, you’ll love it! 👍🏻😁
I lived alone and worked from home for 8 years and the hardest times were when I was ill. With you on the silence thing, I crave silence all the time, it’s so wonderful.
I have lived alone for almost 12 years and love it. Cooking for just myself still sucks but I bulk meal prep. Recently my Mum was rushed to hospital and ended up being in hospital for 23 days and my sister stayed with me for almost that whole time. As much as I love my sister I desperately wanted her to go home so I could have my space back. You have to learn to embrace the time and learn who you are. It’s the best time to learn about yourself.
Ive been watching your videos for the last couple days and I don’t know why, but when you said GHOSTS I spit my food out across the room. I laughed for at least a minute while you continued but THIS IS ME. I check under my bed, my closets, my when I’m in the tub I keep the curtain open. And if I hear a noise at all anytime in the night I have to investigate. I love and hate at the same time living alone. Thank you for your videos.
This was a genius intro Caroline! Little story...in my teens, twenties, and early thirties I was a rockstar...really I fronted a band that was a hot new thing and traveled the world and had a million friends and part of this life I made for myself was because I was terrified of quiet, bring alone, etc...fast forward...I should probably get some friends but I'm VERY HAPPY just chilling and making art at home. I'm married now but I'm telling you learning to live and be alone changed all aspects of my life for the better!!!! I learned to love and respect myself. You're awesome, lady! XO
My problem is not embracing being alone; I fully embrace it. My problem is forcing myself to socialize more and I know you covered that in another video. I loved the part where you bravely organized a picnic meet-up in that one.
Guy here that had been a carer for about 10 years to his late father for about 10 years post postgrad and now just me and my mum in the house. love your videos your energy and ideas, it just makes me happy
I grew up with a not so good childhood. Lots of anxiety walking around a narcissistic parent and then suddenly having to assume household duties as a teenager when my parents divorced. I got a taste of (forced) independence when they imposed those responsibilities that set me on track to seek out the escape I have now. I have lived alone for a decade and just bought my condo. It’s great having my own space and being able to have full control over who comes in it, change it at will if I feel creative without anyone else chipping in naysaying, and be able to discard the criticism of whether or not I’m ready because I’ve been doing this since I was fourteen thank you very much! I got the experience and I don’t need another person to judge me on if I’m doing it right or not.
Caroline, you can get a plug in night light that's triggered by motion detection. While my ex stray cat was still getting used to me I used to walk into my dark kitchen (en route to the lav) and the darkness would hiss at me.
I AUTOMATICALLY added this video to my "Life with ADHD" playlist and the longer I watch it, I'm convinced that decision was correct. Love all your tips. I definitely needed the reminders of things that have worked for me in the past.
@@Caroline_Winkler Happy to share the playlist. Didn't want to spam the comments. Here it is: th-cam.com/play/PL_jd_aXRYgPvfEt4ci9oVl95D91Z3TBv6.html PSA: I am a mother with undiagnosed ADHD raising an Autistic child, so some videos might not be relevant to everyone. A lot of great folks, including you Caroline, add so much value to my self-guided journey managing my ADHD. Thank you. P.S. I loved your podcast interview with the Content Folks.
There is no peace quite so restful as being alone. Love the positive take on boredom, loneliness, and being alone. Thanks for another thoughtful video even though there weren’t actually any ghosts 😮
I've lived alone all of my adult life but you definitely feel a difference when a relationship ends. You have to get back to yourself again. The biggest challenge was going on vacation alone and now I LOVE it! I meet so many people and I never have a bad vacation! I do whatever I want when I want. They have been my most exciting times!
I just lost my grandfather last week, so I just want to thank you for making this video- first off: you made me laugh like I was a maniac, and second: made me wonder what is important to appreciate in life and I think I really needed a dose of both of those things. Thank you for being you, you're a great person Caroline -Benjamin
Please write a book! I stumbled on your channel for interior design, but you have so much more to offer humans! Thank you for being so raw and honest! Your life journey and the lessons you have learned are so invaluable! The humor you bring is so refreshing! ❤
Chores was so much easier for me when I lived alone after leaving my x. No more frustration about the expectation that he would do something but didn't, going days hoping he would and just getting more irritated about it. Living alone I knew it was up to me, I did it, and it was done. That's one thing I truly miss (I'm in a relationship with 3 kids now). Also, silence is the best.
I miss living alone 😂😫😂 I grew up a very ONLY child and it’s extremely hard being around too much humanity. I suppose I always had a lot of critters…my parents were divorced and both overcompensated because they worked. A lot. Mom doctor father attorney, stepparents both PhDs. So I was just…alone. With horses and dogs and cats. That helped. A lot. Now I’ve got a kid who’s extremely clingy and a partner who thankfully isn’t one to push himself on me. They know I need my space, literally, I have a three car garage with a decent sized apartment over it and I hide a lot. They can visit but if the sign is hung it’s a no entry zone. I get to pretend I’m alone there. Why? To walk around naked To dance like a lunatic and sing badly…loudly. To create my little “artworks” out of sticks and mud. To process verbally. I need to talk to myself to get my thoughts straight and it’s hard to do with eyeballs around. They know it’s for my sanity and I think ALL people need a void in which they can enter to be free. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely, but if it’s causing loneliness :( There are ways…make plans, talk on the phone, get out of the house, take classes…invite buddies over. When I was alone I always had little dinners for friends and family, no big shindigs just “hey, I’ve got too much meat please come eat it and we can play scrabble after”. Body pillows are nice if you don’t have a snuggle dog. Actually I never lived alone without a pet. I don’t think I’d do very well. Bird? Fish? Lots o plants? Needn’t be a fur bearing creature, a mammal if you will, but something that sees you and thinks “I know her!!” Something that moves around. I think there’s one thing that I both loved and hated about being alone, nothing was ever moved. Everything was just as I’d left it. Refreshing to not have a mess, sad to realize it’s just me. Also I think duplexes are perfect for marriage/cohabitation. My friend and her partner were totally not adapted to the way the other lived and it caused so much TENSION. That was all they fought about, but the list became interminable: temperature, maximalism vs minimalism, chores, colors, fabrics…as in he liked wool and down blankets and she just wanted a sheet. It became clear they couldn’t share a space without major compromise so I offhandedly suggested they move into one of the duplexes they owned and rented out. They did, twenty years later they say it saved their marriage and I swear by it.
After my breakup I started living alone for the first time in five years and it was terrifying. I usually liked being on my own, I liked silence, still I was very much uncomfortable without another person around. I would put some videos to have voices on the background and always turn the lights on in every room, even though I’m not usually afraid of darkness and I don’t think that there’s something there! Slowly I got used to it, but I still cannot stay in the darkness all the way and I leave some lights on, it is just my reality now. On the bright side I lost a lot of weight just because now I have to take care of my own meals only and it turns out I don’t need much (and it IS easy to eat healthy). Oh and also you can be as gross as you want in your appearance and behaviour 😂 I can’t even imagine living with somebody else right now.
When I saw the title my response was, “It’s the best! It’s the best! It’s the best ever!!!” I don’t live alone now and I really miss it. Couldn’t be better.
Another tip for you is to journal your good and bad days when you don’t have any one to share with and use it as if you’re talking to someone who is your best friend vent, or tell your deepest darkest secrets it really helps when you’re alone. I have found this helpful for me for years now. I’ve lost my journals when I was a single mom of my girls when they were little but I loved living alone.
I was worried about my grandmother being lonely because she lived alone. I kept asking if she thought about moving in with us, and she always said no. After the third time I asked, she said, "Look: I have lived with people all my life. I grew up with four brothers I had to take care of. I married your grandfather when I was 17 and lived with him for over sixty years. This is the first time in my life I have been able to have my own space all to myself, and I love it. So really, I appreciate you thinking about me, but trust me, I have been wanting to live alone for a long, long time." I never asked her again after that.
oh wow 💕That must have been wild to hear. and wild for her to enter into after all those years. i love this
That's what l said My g ma was exactly the same. I miss her every day!
Mine too, she had had siblings to care for, then six children, then got beaten by first her husband and then when he abandoned her, boyfriends, and finally went to live out in a trailer in a field in Waco and said it was the first time she ever felt truly happy.
Go Grandma! Moved out of home when I was 20 and my kids moved out when I was 42. Been healing the narc abuse the last 6yrs and now can’t wait to live alone without the emotional abuse. Do I miss being kissed? Yes and no. 99% of them were mocking me for wanting one and it was like hugging a tree.
I feel the exact same way. I'm 72 and living alone, have been for over 8 years. After 3 awful marriages, I LOVE living alone and not having to put up with any of the crap anymore lol. I've got 2 kids, 4 grands and 2 great grandkids. They make me so happy. I've seen so many scary movies in my lifetime that they don't even scare me anymore! I can watch a scary movie now and it doesn't bother me. After my last ex husband, nothing is scary anymore! Lol 😊 💕 ❤️
The worst part of living alone is; you can no longer live with anyone else.
This!!
Living truly alone since November 2020.
People keep asking (pushing) for me ro find a new partner, especially 'to not be alone at home'.
I don't want to share my personal space anymore!
I love living alone and can't even imagine another person in ly house, spending the night, living with me.
I found it hard enough (but manageable) when my son (adult) stayed over for the weekend. He moved in with his girl now and I can't even imagine him around ALL the time anymore (which we'd still do, it's my child 😂).
But yeah, I don't even want to live together anymore and I don't want a relationship that requires it.
I don't want to blend in to another person's home and I don't want another person in my home.
It gets harder as you get older too. FREEDOM RULES!
Yeah. Its so much better. Your time your space...
😄😄😄
Soooo true!
Hearing another grown woman talk about being afraid of the dark and running to her room after turning off the lights is genuinely so comforting you have no idea
I do not turn off the lights. Why do you guys turn them off?
I used to be scared too but have been living on a few acres for a while and not scared anymore. Am moving to town at some point so hopefully I’ll able to adjust.
I don't think being afraid of the dark is something anyone should feel embarrassed about. I'm a guy and I have seen plenty of guys get spooked by the dark (including myself).
I literally need to be in a sensory deprivation tank to fall asleep lmao no lights no music just anger
@@MichaelaBelle I appreciate the reference 😎🤘🏽
The intro to this video was singular. It felt like the opening scene of a movie. Way to capture the badass/elegant/vulnerable essence of living alone in one establishing shot.
Feeling it too
Totally agree!! I'm surprised there aren't more comments about it!
Yes! I had to stop the video and comment on it. Epic.
She is a genius editor. I am completely hooked on her channel. So funny, and a wtf apartment. How you afford all the shit girl? Your family own an interior design company?!
It wasn't just singular, it was iconic.
[sorry if my English is not perfect, it's not my native language]
Caroline, I don't know if my message will reach you but I hope so. My 5 years relationship just ended. My boyfriend died suddenly few weeks ago.
This whole thing is terribly sad and disturbing. As soon as the shock has passed, one of my first worry was : I'm 31 and have never lived alone. I'm facing this whole new life that I didn't chose and am worried as hell.
I watch every single one of your videos since the past year and I don't know why but I skipped this one (unintentionally) when it was released. I just stumbled on it today, when this question of leaving alone was torturing me the most.
I think there are no words to tell you how your video gave me hope and comfort. And these days it's a very difficult challenge.
So I just wanted to say thank you and I wanted you to know you made a tiny but important difference in the life of someone who is leaving the harder period of her life. So, thank you so much.
Oh my god that is so difficult. I hope you’re doing alright lately. Sending you love 💕
💕 I hope to day that your life has moved in a good direction for you after that sad experience
Thinking of you and hope you’re now living your badass self! 💞
You are adorable!
I also would say, don't undervalue "weak tie" relationships- i.e. the barista at your favorite coffee shop, the bus driver, the neighbor you always wave at on their porch, whatever. If you're living alone because you just moved somewhere new, and you don't have a network of strong relationships to rely on, cultivate the weak-ties! There's tons of research that weak-tie relationships are an important part of social life, and they help us feel happier and more enmeshed in our communities. They're important whether you have "strong-tie" relationships in your area or not.
Couldn’t agree more. I get alot out of those brief moments of connection.
Thank you for this concept. I never thought about it, but yes, weak ties are lovely.
Yes, I talk to secretaries and shop assistants more than I talk to anyone else. Met a lovely lady at the chiro this week who was so awesome and had also gone through a bad marriage too and gave me so much hope for living alone and enjoying life for the first time. How did I meet her? I helped her down a difficult, wet step and we got talking!
This! I feel like there have been studies on this and honestly...I can say that I notice when people are "missing". Sometimes that's all it takes too, to say "hey we haven't seen the neighbor with the wheelchair in awhile" or "odd, the lady who lives down the hall hasn't been seen in weeks". I feel like it can help if someone has an emergency or get's hurt and THEY are living alone. It's easy to notice when the daily waves, smiles, etc. aren't there when you have a routine of saying hello. Maybe you ask the landlord to check in on them/ their unit. Never know! I know personally I love when I am a regular somewhere like a coffee shop and the owner/barista says "haven't seen you in awhile!" when you go back, it's always comforting, like you would be missed even by people who aren't on a friendship/intimate level, it's still meaningful.
when i moved to a new city, alone, hours away from any of my friends or family, i got so much joy from my local librarians who started to know me well enough to not need my card anymore to look me up, and i appreciate and love them so much :')
The worst loneliness is inside an un fulfilling relationship. Being on your own is an important stage of life.
That is SO true! I have never felt more alone than being with the wrong partner.
Spot on!
For the last few years of my marriage, I was lonelier than I have ever been.
@@elizabeths.9692 Better now?
These are words of pure truth!
Once I heard my grandmother say: You can be very lonely together.
I almost never comment on videos, but the intro was simply one of the best intros on the entirety of the internet and thoroughly grateful to have witnessed. I’ve never lived alone, turned 18 and moved in with my boyfriend who turned into my husband and 12 years and two kids later I have no idea what this kinda of alone time is like. But I now have a specific vision when I romanticize having my own space and boredom in my life.
Same here to everything you said.
It’s not
I've been living with my hubby for close to 13 years now (moved from my parents' to an appartment together), and we have 2 kids, and that video made me crave a long vacation alone all by myself 😅 It's a feeling I have from time to time, I sometimes get to be alone for a few hours, but it's not the same as being alone for a period of time. Oh, the things I would do!
Have an awesome new chapter in your life! That intro was the best! Haven’t been single since I was a teen too and 32 yrs later I’m so looking forward to it. The first time I had the house to myself for a few days when my kids were 6 and 3, oh boy, I was a different person and it was exciting. Have never forgotten that feeling of freedom. Am looking forward to never living with a narcissist again.
Thinking about loneliness as a signal like hunger is the most helpful advice I’ve heard in a decade. Thank you!
Me too it was so on point for me 😊
Okay this is really wierd, but I just realized something. I struggle being excited about being alive. I don't look forward to much, except being asleep. I miss out on alot in my life becuase I will just sleep. My dreams are alot better then being awake becuase I always lucid dream. But honestly, watching your videos kinda makes me excited to be alive. To organize my room. Clean up all that garbage I have laying around. Make my space look pretty, and enjoy being bored. Idk just a fun little thought pattern I had. Basically your videos just really make being alive and doing basic stuff, look fun.
Not weird and I’m glad you shared -excited for you! And that’s awesome that you lucid dream so much!
Sounds kinda like maladaptive daydreaming. Either way I'm happy you're more excited to be alive
Get a motorcycle.
Been there. I thought I exhausted all hobbies. Then I discovered I like decorating and redecorating seasonally. Creativity is exciting.
YES!!!
Caroline: defends herself when leaving the shower, checks under the bed and in the closet, hides weapons scattered throughout her apartment
*Also Caroline: sleeps with earplugs in*
I knowwwww I debate this a lot. Sometimes I try to do just 1 earplug so I can hear the intruder but not the ghosts
Still working on the balance
@@Caroline_Winkler Did the 'one earplug thing' for years! Fell asleep on my open ear, so they're both shut off. But in my sleep I toss and turn anyway, the earplug would fall out, so if anything happened I'd just hear it. Can recommend
May I suggest a brown noise sound at night? I’m scared of ghost / house sounds and this helped me a lot
I do this too. 😂 I usually lose my earplugs in the bed. @@Caroline_Winkler
@@Caroline_Winkler I use a small water fountain. It camouflages the other sounds.
Came for the interior design but staying for the raw honesty and total gift of a human being you are!
This is helping me be a better person, my room is still narrow and weird tho
Yah ! Something about the thumbnail encouraged my clicking, next: the audio got my attention: “is that her singing ? It’s super on-key !!” 🎼 (I don’t think it’s her singing. & that’s ok.) and then once she got talking, I discovered that I totally enjoy listening to this person !! I feel I may’ve been a bit cavalier in the quickness with which I subscribed 😳
me, too. I just heard a few minutes and SUBSCRIBED, which I rarely do~! I love living alone and keeping things simple, but this is gold.@@miahconnell23
You explained it beautifully. Thats excactly what happened
Yes! She's adorable and quirky and authentic beyond belief! I love her presentations!
“I cant tolerate the stimulation of music”. I loved the way you phrased this. It overwhelms me sometimes, especially if I can’t find the right music for the situation.
Me too!
I’m opposite 😅 I use music to help me get into a deep focus zone (while studying or something). It does eventually get too stimulating though.
Your sister coming on and being a literary nerd was fantastic 😂💕
Yessss I loved the casual Woolf and Sartre inserts (and the facial expressions were on POINT)
Hell is other people, I have that line posted on my ig. 😂 It is very true...
I like living alone. Been alone most of my life. The only thing is you have to do everything yourself. From cooking, cleaning yard work car care, running arrans, and there is no one to call if you need help doing something. Everything falls on your shoulder's If you live alone, you have to be prepared for anything. Even if your sick. No one to take care of you. But living alone is great.
I was married for 19 years when I fell and broke my back, resulting in living in a wheelchair because I was paralyzed . I finally divorced him after another three years of being married. I’ve lived alone now in a wheelchair for 15 years and it’s the most awesome experience I’ve ever had! All the pros you listed are great plus I really found a deep sense of peace in being myself. Don’t need a man now!! Whooopppe🎉
Very powerful 💪🏾❤️
I recently. Became wheelchair bound n am living alone. I s I wish someone would do videos on hacks or hints t I help out. That said I love being alone
So glad you’re living your best life! Thank you for the hope for life after divorce. You have just become one of my divorce heroes!
Yeah it’s the little things that make you glad how limited real life is. Self-care like trying new skincare masks or doing my own nails instead of a salon makes me feel this deep peace. Even just picking books from a library or bookstore or driving in complete silence or coloring/solving a puzzle
sad
You are the most authentic, funny, relatable, real person on TH-cam. THANK YOU. It's hard to find on here.
🥹
I am 33 and for the first time of my life I can afford to live alone. My mental health has improved SO MUCH in the past 2 months, I feel calm, I like to come home, I don't have to worry about anyone else being here or about the mess others make. It's just my own shit. Everything looks nice and neat, it's quiet and when I do want company, I can just invite them over, even overnight because I have a huge couch. I love it. Never wanna live with anyone else ever again. Except foster dogs. I am planning on doing that again.
This is the life I want. I long to move out but I can't afford it yet. I know the benefits will far outweigh any cons for me, congrats to you for taking this step.
Cooking for one tip: batch cooking and freezing! Chilli, soups, even some pasta dishes work really well reheated. If you like cooking but struggle with produce going bad, here's some tips I've picked up (hopefully they help you too):
(edited because I remembered another tip)
1. Plan meals around using up produce: if a recipe calls for 2 carrots but carrots come in a huge bag, find a second recipe for the week that also uses carrots, or get some hummus to have with them as a snack.
2. ALWAYS check your fridge before choosing what to cook, otherwise you WILL forget that you have half a lime you need to use or half a packet of sour cream.
3. Invite people round and share food with them: one of my biggest pleasures in life is giving the people I love food
4. Meal swap with friends: batch cooking is great but one big drawback is it can be boring, so see if you have a friend who also batch cooks stuff and just swap some tupperware to get some variation
5. Learn about the best way to store produce for longevity: often the packaging you buy something in is not the best way to keep it fresh. I just started doing this and it's made a massive difference for something that's so simple!
6. One-pot cookbooks: these tend to have smaller portion sizes and also be things that reheat well!
I really hope this helps someone if you like cooking and/or don't like/can't do meal delivery services for whatever reason (like me).
Yep. So agree. I love making, for example, freezer jams in the summer; butternut soup or mini-lasagna's in the fall/winter; using a bread recipe and making rolls (take out 1-2 and freeze the rest). Cooking/baking are enjoyable creative opportunities for some.
Amen to meal prep
Really good advice
Your sister is both instantly delightful and slightly unbearable and she is absolutely my sort of person. We love her. More sister, please.
One of my biggest regrets was not living alone before I got married and had kids. I still secretly fantasize about it.
Maybe you could make a “she shed.”
Hell yes! I went from a narc sister to a narc husband and would have loved to be able to heal and find out who I am without them. Didn’t know back then what a narc was and or that I needed to heal at 20. Starting to trust myself in my 50s. One time we were due to go to visit his parents interstate and I decided not to go. It was the best 4 days of my life. I couldn’t believe how I felt.
@@Cherrysmith2809 It would soon be infiltrated by three kids under 8 and turned into a kid cave. 😂
Me too. Never lived alone always wanted to try it
Ditto!
I am married with three almost adult kids that are at home. After the pandemic I was craving that “alone” space…my solution was gardening. Most of the gardening I have done alone, by myself, and it has given me newfound confidence. It is my space of silence, and flow. Just me and the birds. 👍
gardening used to be my alone time away from the constant computer game noise, peace and quiet and nature
@@queenofhearts64 oh yes…I am well familiar with the sounds of teens gaming. Sometimes a little silence is heavenly. 🥰
Sounds wonderful!!
I just have potted plants but during the pandemic I went from never being able to keep anything alive to a lush garden of pots, growing poppies from seed, a now year old azalea bush that flowered for christmas, marigolds to keep the bees away, it really made outside a comfortable place for me. Also we get early frosts here as well as torrential downpour so I can protect my babies from that.
Even when I smashed a chunk of finger in the patio umbrella tilt mechanism, it brought me peace. Loved dozing off on my bench in the shade with a headache. I very much feel I am waiting for it to be warm again 😂
Playing and digging in the dirt is definitely therapy for me, I love it!
I live alone and love it! Here's my additional suggestions to remove fear and creepiness: Put lights in dark corners. Either a desk light on the floor facing up with plants in front so they are underlit or backlit, or use fairy lights on the floor in the dark corners or areas, under leggy pieces, draped around plants, etc. ALSO CLUTCH: Since I don't have cable and hate watching TV, I have a fireplace video app on my TV and it stays on 24/7 with a fireplace crackling - my plants backlit behind it. When I come home, the house isn't quiet - it's cozy and crackling. When I wake up in the morning and come out to the living room - it's not a quiet house -it's cozy and crackling. When I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, my house isn't creepy and quiet, it's cozy and crackling. When I'm reading or browsing the web and relaxing... There is something about the sound and flicker of a fireplace that is PRIMALLY COMFORTING. I'm not kidding. Try it when you don't want (or in combination with!) talking, music, movies, TV, etc. as your background sound. Key is: have a background sound! Oh Also - I use the Sleep app to make a custom background noise to fall asleep to. I can never fall asleep now in a quiet room! The app plays gentle nature sounds all night with enough layers to not get boring. I use a combination of rain, waterfalls, flute, chimes, gong, and wind. And it has a fireplace sound too, so when I'm reading on my phone in the dark at night in my bed - I play the fireplace sound instead so it's right in my hands and the room isn't too quiet! lol
Inspired! Beautiful! I love it. 💕💕💕
Awwww cozy and crackling 🥺 that sounds so nice! Well done ! Thanks for sharing your tips !
awww i love the idea of fairy lights especially! some sweet soft mood as well 🙌
I do a similar thing where I leave the lights on on days where I know I‘ll come home after dark! So then I don‘t come home to a completely dark and creepy apartment but a cozy little cave 🧡
Guuurl, I have that escape ladder. And I love it. I even tried it. It is peace of mind. And who doesn’t love an escape! 🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
Having a dog really helps with adjusting to living alone. I've been living alone since i was 17, i was always very scared of the same things as Caroline, but whenever i got scared I'd look at the dog and think, well the dog isn't barking, he's calm, and since dogs hear better than us there's definitely nothing suspicious happening in the house. Plus, having a pet can help you feel less lonely, i would recommend it to get a dog if you have similar issues (or a cat, they also hear well and can alarm you) if you can. My dog is a senior and has recently lost most of his hearing ability, so i've been kind of going through the whole fear of the dark and noises experience again unfortunately...
Agreed! I always blame the weird noises in my house on my guinea pigs.
If you live with a dog, you don’t live alone
Pets in general. I hated cats until I wanted a dog and couldn't get one because where I lived only allowed cats not dogs. But I agree they can make you feel calm. Especially when they're purring away and happy. But then there are times like the other night... two of my cats were starring at something I couldn't see! Big huge eyes and then out of no where the last one came running out from the other room, big eyes and jumped like 3 ft puffy tail, clearly terrified. And then all 3 of them were starring... I was so scared!
@@chrissyscholl816 Spirits!
THIS! I loved this video, but I’ve never had the fear thing… and then I realised - I HAVE A DOG! and you just have to be strong for them because they scared of everything 😂
I finally got to move into my own tiny studio, no more roommates or family, and I love it so fucking much. I love being alone. It's amazing.
I loved that opening scene, it represents freedom and courage and the joy of being a woman. It can be in those moments that you feel most alive. It's not about sexuality, it represents embracing your body, facing your fears, letting go, and finding out who you are - there is nothing sexier. Living alone provides an opportunity for growth.
Clothing is optional because you live alone=priceless.
@@vaderladyl hear hear
I also loved the opening scene, just for her spontaneity.
For a long time I struggled with cooking only for myself, and even more with tidying up a space only seen by me. What completely shifted my perspective and thus my habits around it was to consider these things as amazing self-care. A pure luxurious treat. Having a tasty home cooked-meal, spending time in my room smelling nice and fresh is like a gift I give to myself everyday. It gives me so much pleasure honestly, and really highlights any dull day.
Thank you for that. Take care of you! Enjoy life! I’ve been using a nice soap in the shower as my treat and linen spray on my bed. I bought some diffusers too. Still hate cooking but at least I get to cook my favourite meals. I had to get therapy to be able to wash up and go in the kitchen as my sister made life hell washing up as kids and my husband couldn’t complain enough if I was in the kitchen and hated my cooking. Now I can wash up each day and keep the kitchen tidy. I dance while the microwave is on and sing a parody song when unstacking the dishwasher.
@@HappyHarryX5 i loved reading this, so beautiful and true. Thank you ❤
@@HappyHarryX5 that's awesome Fiona! Therapy was also what allowed me to shift my perspective and learn how to take care of myself. I'm glad to read that you found in yourself the strength to do so too ❤
Yeah this mindset also helped me recover from my mental breakdown. after getting out of the hospital, recovering from my mini embarrassment and having to withdraw from my classes I fell into a depression and was trying to keep myself from severely disassociating. The first thing that helped me come back was making the decision to shower but in a way that meant self-care/self-love and I was just crying because I realized subconsciously I thought I didn’t deserve the care and love
I loved to live alone. I could have candles, plants, funiture, or music loud if I want ...
And now , I have to live in constant compromise ...And I tell you CONSTANT :////
I am 70 years old, married for 49 years, and have never lived alone. At the age of 22, I moved from my parents’ home into my own home with my new husband. I was terrified at that age of the thought of being self-supporting and totally responsible for all my needs. It was the one important step I missed in all my life passages. Not surprisingly, I daydream regularly about what it would feel like to live alone and I spend inordinate amounts of my down time watching TH-cam videos of decorating studio apartments and going solo. It is the one major regret of my life-that I didn’t spend some ‘adult’ alone time before marrying.
dear Pam, no need to regret. everyone has their own journey. I am sure you can find alone time in a relationship as well. For example morning walks alone, reading, and so on. Alone is mostly a state of mind. :)
The best takeaways from this video for me personally:
1) boredom is the breeding grounds for problem solving and new revelations, so don't be afraid of doing your chores in silence.
2) Your feelings are SIGNALS. i am often a very lonely girl, with no siblings and a busy family and am very shy /self conscious. I also realized i feel more lonely because I'm unsatisfied with my current livelihood, job, education, and other things that have nothing to do with loneliness except that loneliness is how my body immediately manifests negative thoughts!! therefore truly, our feelings are signs. don't see them as things to get rid of - instead, listen to them. just like hunger. gOODNESS i LOVE you and your ADVICE
I lived alone for 3 years, moved in with roommates (1yr), and then a partner of 7 years (2 yrs), back to living alone again. My first round living by myself was awful, not going to sugar coat it. I was often freaked out, couldn't cook for myself, and had little to no friends.
After living with others and now living alone again - I really cherish my time by myself. Is it difficult? Yes. But, I can do things on my own time for myself when and how I want to.
I love your video and did a small cry when you started talking about living alone after a long relationship. It's repairing myself of the bits and pieces that he gave me for so long, and filling it with friends, long walks, going to the produce stand for a single peach, and not adhering to anyone but me. No one else is going to be around for you when you're alone - it's all on yourself. And honestly, I've become my own friend again setting my boundaries became easier and my standards have been raised. Living alone again has it's ups and downs, in the end it's healing.
Caroline...you are TOOOOO FUNNY! You go from not being afraid of being seen naked when you opened your blinds, to running down your hall terrified after turning off your light. You are DEFINITELY UNIQUE...and that's why we all love watching. Keep being YOU!❤😊😊
very different threats!! public humiliation will never get me. but A WEIRD SHADOW IN THE KITCHEN? i cannot
@@Caroline_Winkler girl, same. 🤣
@@Caroline_Winkler ROTFL!:)
@@Caroline_WinklerAbsolutely same!
I have a great tip for not having to check potential hiding spots every night; stuff everything absolutely full of random junk until there’s no room for anyone to hide. Not even my cats can hide in my closets. It’s awesome and definitely a deliberate strategy and not a result of the intense separation anxiety I feel when I get rid of things. 👍
That intro was such a masterpiece in and of itself. I love living alone. No-one talking at you non-stop when you come home from work, nobody else's stuff cluttering everything. I'm the opposite though, I never was scared of being or living alone. I would absolutely benefit from not hiding inside my comfort zone by living with someone.
Minus the Shania Twain 🤢
100% on the clutter part.
When I decided to share space with my partner it was after being together for 9 years living separately (15 minutes away). I needed that time and space to decompress from a previous (very bad) relationship. It allowed me to welcome the man of my dreams when he showed up in my life, and simultaneously do the healing I needed to do on my own.
I am much more secure and confident because I took that time to have my own space.
We share a place now and it's good. We still have our own rooms/territory we can retreat to, in order to have alone time and recharge.
Awesome! Well done on taking time for yourself. I’ve been healing for 6yrs from my horror marriage and if I find someone new, I want to be the best version of myself I can be. My husband took over every inch of space he could in our house so having control over my new physical spaces is going to be fabulous. All the best to you!
@@HappyHarryX5
Wow. Sounds terrible.
Glad you're out!
All the best for your future!
♡
Your opening sequence is the pinnacle of what my husband and I call “asserting window dominance”
Who's using the living room? -I'm using the living room! Damn straight! The montage that follows is pure gold. So boss.
I got out of a 30 year very abusive relationship. Before that I was a teenager and lived with my parents. Now I live alone and I am 54 years old. I love love love it! I’m old enough to make my own choices, I’m old enough to act the way I want, and I really love not having to compromise with anybody about how my house is or what I want to do during the day. Love this video! Keep up the good work.
YOU GO! I can SO relate to this! Be happy and liberated, good stranger!
I’m pretty much the same with 32yrs of hell. Thank you for the hope after divorce. Going through it at the moment and my narc is worse than ever. Enjoy your new awesome life! Take care of you. I’m going to decorate my house, cook how I want, walk how I want, shop where I want, turn a door knob the way I want and no one is going to tell me I’m doing it wrong. I love coming home to an empty house and yelling out hello gorgeous!
Exactly
I LOVEDDDDD living alone. Somehow was never afraid and slept like a baby. I tell people this (including my husband) all the time that my biggest regret with our relationship was meeting him so soon because living alone was the absolute best best best. And I did it for the first 8 months of the pandemic so I was ALONE. It was amazing. Live alone and start painting and romanticize that lifeeeeee. K bye.
Meeee toooo! I miss having my own place!
Saaaaaaame! I met my now fiance a year into living alone and it's my favorite. I'm getting married in two months and I'm kind of mourning(??) that I won't have the place to myself anymore? It's a weird feeling. I'm grateful for the change and I'm very excited to marry him but like... my apartment is so nice. 🥲
@@NikolaiGunter I cried sooooo hard giving up my old apartment 😭 it’s been 2 years and I miss it all the time lol
i had a friend share with me that she moved in with her then bf (now husband) and was quite happy, but then also fel the need to live separately at least to know what it was like. He understood and they moved out and she loved it....and also now they're married and living together. There are pros to both!
@@Caroline_Winkler I don’t mean to sound like I don’t love living with my husband 😂 fortunately for me he has great taste and is a wonderful artist so it all worked out in the end lol
OMG THANK YOU for talking about not having music on. My friends treat me like a mutant because I don't listen to music in my house and sometimes I even forget to put music on in my car. What can I say, I'm completely entertained by my own thoughts. Anyhoo, thank you for this video--I'm a single mom whose son will be leaving for college in the fall and I'm terrified of feeling bored and aimless. Plus I live in a very creaky house, so I'll start training now so I can be ready to run by August.
ahh that sounds like it will definitely take a transition! big change. But I hope that after a bit of a transitional period you'll find a lot of new freedoms and delights in your home ❤ also yes all day to silence
Same! 🤗
Yes! I can only listen to music in my car, and on rare occasions, over the speakers that were already in the ceiling when I bought my house.
It’s so cool to have an empty nest though the only thing I’ve found is that I can’t ever decide on what to cook as I’ve mainly cooked what everyone else wants. The silly thing is I can cook all my favourite meals and I still can’t decide even 10yrs later!
@@Cherrysmith2809 Me too. I do have the TV on to keep my mind occupied though but the last several years have been learning a lot on youtube instead of watching my favourite shows in preparation for living alone. Wish I could enjoy the silence though but my mind just ruminates over my horror marriage.
i've been living alone since i was 18 years old. I'm 28 now. I hate living with people. ABSOLUTELY HATE IT!
the only con is:
when something is too heavy for you to move and you need a second person to help
or
you go on vacation and you need someone to watch your pet
or
your downstairs neighbor is abusing his girlfriend and the cops show up at 4 am (this actually happened)
or
you hear a rodent or a bird in the wall (happened to me many times, there is literally nothing you can do about it though)
that's all. The end. Most of those i can hire someone for or contact my landlord to fix.
Your videos are not only instructional and eye opening but also uplifting. Thank you for your expertise, humour and self compassion.
Iconic 👑
I fkn LOVE living alone. A good tip I do is always have a "sick kit" pre prepared. I have a week's worth of paracetamol/cough mix/flu tablets/stock for soup/soft tissues/hydralite/dry biscuits in a box so if I get sick I can hole up without needing to get specific things from the chemist. All these things could be dropped off by a friend or delivered but it makes me feel like I'm taking good care of myself to have everything I need on hand.
I'm 39, and I love living alone so much I worry I'll never be able to share a home with anyone ever again. My space gives me so much peace and I love spending time on my own (can you tell I'm an introvert? lol). I think you just have to get to know yourself to figure out what works for you, and often times the best way to figure that out is to spend time with yourself. :)
Yes, I have the same thoughts as I've been living alone for years now (after divorce). Hard to imagine someone else in my space and all the demands others put on you.
@@filmandstory same story
That is my issue, I am so used to live alone that I am difficult to adapt to other people living in my home now.
I'm only 59 seconds in but I had to say something! That intro girl!!! You're one of the funniest most original people I (don't really) know
I’m so guilty of that roommate comfort thing. It’s true, you don’t get lonely with roommates, but it’s a superficial short term solution. You’re so wise for your age Caroline. Wish I’d known all this 20 years ago.
I never thought I could live alone … I’ve now been doing it for 3 years, and I’m worried I never want to stop. 😅 You really do adjust and it can be quite lovely. One random tip, especially for those afraid of the dark: dusk to dawn night lights! Especially for the bathroom. I’m obsessed - even if you don’t live alone, they are fantastic for evening ambiance. 👌
I have lived alone for near 10 years. I am so in love with it that I am legit worried that if and when I find a someone to share my life with, I won’t ever be able to adjust to living with them. But for now, living alone is my happy place.
Ps. Loved this video. What a great topic. Thanks!
I do also worry this sometimes 😅
@@Caroline_Winkler I worry about this too. I was married for many years and I have been divorced for a decade. With my children now mostly grown, I think about meeting someone, but I don't know if I could live with someone. I think the ideal situation would be to live right next door to each other, so you could visit anytime but go home.
@@elizabeths.9692 I’ve heard of married couples doing this, each person either has their own room with a separate bed or lives in an entirely different house.
@@bpedi3 My SO and I do this 😊
I lost my dear husband almost 5 years ago. This is the first time I've ever lived alone. Your advice is SPOT ON. I learned that I like my own company! I saw myself in EVERY SEGMENT! 🤭 Thank you!!!
I’ve lived alone for almost 15 years. The biggest cons are:
1. Getting sick and having no one in the house to take care of trash, litter boxes, etc. 2. When the electricity goes out for several days (this has happened to me several times) it is difficult and extremely boring.
Another con is you don’t practice small talk. Also living with others can shame you into doing things like getting out of the house instead of binging on Netflix. Sort of nudge you out of your comfort zone. She did mention being intentional about socializing and going out.
the intro. you are my hero.
I keep a journal. Its amazing. I tell those day to day highs and lows to this journal. It helps me to get stuff off my chest at the time, but I also have learned so much about myself along the way! Weirdly, it's like my future self is listening to my past self. I've gained compassion, respect and have just learned so much. I highly recommend
I do the same.
Have written thousands of pages.
i’m in this exact situation right now and my god, living alone has been an almost spiritual experience. i never decorated or put much effort into spaces that i shared with others, and once i got my own place after ending a 5 year relationship, suddenly i was ready to decorate. the way i’ve explained that to my friends is like….. you’re decorating all on your own, with no input from anyone else, it’s all YOU and it’s bringing your inner world into the physical reality. and you look around and like what you see, and realize that you like what’s inside your mind as well. it’s a physical expression of who you are…. idk man, very impactful ❤
I lived alone for 7 years and yes I did learn a lot about myself. The best thing i remember about living alone is that where ever I left something - that was where it was. After living with my husband and 3 children, what a change! I could find my scissors, my pen, there was still a soft drink in the fridge. Pure luxury!!!
My husband is the worst at taking my stuff lol.
I lived alone for almost 7 years and I LOVED it. I loved coming home knowing that there wouldn’t be any expectations on me and I could just decompress.
Silence was definitely my favorite way to spend time at home haha
I hear you, that makes total sense, the problem is that I live alone and also work from home, so it can get heavy and too quiet.
I've come to love living alone a few years ago. I lived with my husband for about 2 years before we had to do long distance because of our jobs. We hope to move back in together in autumn. Our plan is to kind of room together - we both get our own room for sleeping, creative stuff, interests, whatever and have some sort of kitchen/living space. We can do "sleepovers" at each others room whenever we want but have the option of keeping things separate which makes having different daily routines way easier. And I can also do whatever I want with my room (furniture, decor, ...) without thinking about my partner. That's freeing sometimes.
Some additional tips on cooking for one:
- Cook something that you can easily freeze and freeze half of it for another time. This also works with parts of a meal.
- Mealprep, but not in the traditional way. Rather prepare different components that you can mix and match. You could also only prep a few basics (dressing/sauces, cut stuff, ...).
Loving your sister's literary quotes :D But also - boredom is essential to creativity - YES! And loneliness is definitely not the enemy.
Boredom allows connecting with our inner creative muse ... and sometimes it is just okay to be bored. We live in an overstimulated world. Good to give our never endings and brain cells a rest! Just saying.
The relying on drip fed socialization from your roommates thing is so true. My biggest mistake in the past few years was following my close friends to room together in a city where I personally had no attachment to. I relied on them for all my socialization needs, and when one decided to move out, I realized I had nothing of my own here and had no idea how nor desire to start building my own life here. Looking back, this behavior seems pretty concerning but I really didn't notice at the time.
I'm moving to a city of my own choosing in a few months, and I can't wait to start building real meaning & connections in my life. I'll still be living with friends though, as it's quite expensive living alone (perhaps this is another con you could have mentioned). But I hope I can still take the lessons from your vid to apply to my new venture & avoid making the same mistakes again. Thanks Caroline!
Related to the cleaning bit (and possibly the decorating bit), I found the best/worst part of living alone after living with other people is that you find out what your thresholds are for "mess." There are many kinds of mess. There's "clutter" (empty amazon boxes, junk mail), "gross" (dirty dishes in the sink, toilets that haven't been cleaned), "disorder" (clean clothes that haven't been put away), "entropy" (dust, leaves blown in near the door), and I'm sure many other categories I'm not thinking of, or different categories as to how you break that stuff down in your head.
When you live with someone else, the fact that your threshold for acceptbable levels of a specific kind of "mess" (let's say "clutter" for example) is lower than the other person's can be a source of conflict, because you are bothered by the pile of empty amazon boxes but it doesn't bother them, so you're always taking care of it. When you live alone, the types of mess that don't bother you can build up without it starting a fight with someone. This is amazingly freeing. The downside of it is that you can let stuff go too long if your thresholds are super high and you never have anyone over to notice it (like if there's a pandemic and you are the only person in your house for 18 months).
You get me!!
yup... I now have to get rid off it. But it was also a matter of focusing on surviving and "chores" just didn't seem so important at the time.
I genuinely love how bookish your sister is! I need to get her book!
Damn that intro scene really called me out, i watched this whole video while doing laundry and picking up around the apartment... completely naked xD I have lived alone for a few years and it's amazing. This is my space and I get to be safe and keep out literally everyone. I can hide away when the world gets too overwhelming and I carefully choose who I invite here. I can decide to paint the ceiling at midnight, or make cookies at 3am, or go to bed at 7pm. I don't have to text or synchronise plans or ask or inform anyone about my bedtime, whether I spontaneously stay out with friends after an event, whether i make the executive decision to stay home that day. Even though I was never in a very controlling situation, living alone gives you a different kind of mental freedom which I think is important to experience. It has helped me so much to realise i have to be my own adult and keep my own life on track (sometimes more and sometimes less successfully, and that's okay). I make my own happiness and any partners or friends I invite into my life better add to that or are at worst a neutral party. I don't need or want anyone to "fix" my life for me, that's my responsibility. And I don't want to fix anyone else's life either. We're all adults and have to make our own choices of how we want to live and what actions we permit ourselves. And ideally, we can be silly and create bits of happiness along the way :)
🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I LOST EVERYTHING WITH THE LITTLE DOOR YOU NEVER CHECK "AND IF SOMEONE IS LIVING IN THERE, SO BE IT - IT'S THEIR HOME NOW" 😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I'm in LOVE with this channel, IN LOVE! ❤
ok i've seen a lot of comments saying how your videos are giving hope to people, and i am one of them. i look forward to your videos every week. for someone in my 20s trying to figure out shit and change career paths, you inspire me so much. thank you, caroline. thank you!
this is my favorite kind of comments. you truly made it so rewarding to make videos. Thanks for sharing this with me, and i am extremely touched that the videos feel valuable. life is constant transition, you got this 😘
I am in my 60s and I completely relate to all Caroline’s videos. Life is one giant transition and the sooner you learn to embrace it the better. Sadly, I’m just now figuring it out, and Caroline’s perspective has been so inspiring to me! 🥰 I finally feel seen.
P.S. I’m a middle child 🤪
Omg the garlic part killlllled me. But in all honesty, as a mid twenties woman living alone this was so so accurate and helpful. It also helps that I have a dog and he keeps me grounded and also forces me out of the house so I can’t go full hermit.
Also, as a former true crime aficionado, I would recommend to women living alone to limit your watching/listening. I used to listen to it during my walks with my dog and was SO paranoid and couldn’t even relax on what was supposed to be a mental health walk. When I stopped listening and just kept it to music I was able to enjoy my environment so much more. I’m not saying cut it out, but don’t be the perpetrator of your own paranoia.
Omg the garlic is a long story for another day…ikyk 😂
@Caroline Winkler please don't forget to update us, I'm seriously so curious lmao
Finally someone talking about this part 😂
Caroline, I agree with everything you have said about living alone, except feeling afraid. I have lived alone for 30 plus years, ever since I was divorced. I absolutely love it! I can revel in creating my own time and priorities. I can bask in my own preferences: bananas and peanut butter for dinner; eating anywhere in the house; reading for hours; vegan and gluten free food; wearing comfy silly clothes; affording special food for my cat; not watching the news; watching Sesame Street or anime instead; silence; in short living my best introvert life. My job involves a lot of intense contact with people, which I really enjoy, and I love seeing my friends and family members, but I like being alone just as much, maybe more. I have little routines I follow which are comforting like setting up the pillows on my bed in a certain way, making food for the week on the weekend, visiting a labyrinth and going to public gardens seasonally, having breakfast in bed every morning while playing Wordle and Spelling Bee. For some people, I think it is the best lifestyle choice.
Yes I cannot relate to being afraid of the dark either. I actually embrace a darker house at night.
I am a 65 year old woman ( for context). I went from living with my parents, to living with my mom and sister, to getting married and divorced, to living with my parent with my little ones, to getting married again...and divorced again....and never lived on my own or owned a car and home of my own UNTIL I was 45 years old!! It took a few years to find my footing, but when I did, I absolutely loved being on my own. Recently retired, figuring out a new rhythm and daily purpose. I have never felt more fulfilled.
Oh, and btw Caroline, I just found your channel 2 days ago and love your unique content. A combo of creativity, home decor, visual beauty & organizational techniques, self reflection, gratitude, exploration, validation and comic relief. Thank you precious lady for sharing your heart and soul with us all. You are lovely and are loved.
I absolutely love living alone. I spent so long having to have roommates, or living with a partner… it feels so good to not answer to anyone !
I never ever comment (just a lurker who enjoys your content immensely) but came here to say that your sister's cameo was just a dee.light! So smart, literary and non-plussed in dropping such casual references as Sarte and Woolf. Looking forward to her book, as well.
Agreed!!
Her book?
She is truly too sharp and well read for her own good! She’s one my biggest encouragers, and she is a complete idol to me❤️ so glad everyone got to experience a little bit of her!
Here it is! We’re doing a live book club event on June 11, if you want to read it by then and join! Will either be on TH-cam live or Instragam live - I’ll share more details beforehand!
www.simonandschuster.com/books/Shakespeare-Was-a-Woman-and-Other-Heresies/Elizabeth-Winkler/9781982171261?fbclid=PAAabYyaEcrDzW-SRRstolfFo57rlJWxrVbyeN_uApjMDkxZB8JqqMmE8B8QQ
@@Caroline_Winkler Are 11 June book club event details available? Two of us - in France - hope to join.
As a 31-year-old middle child who LOVES living alone but is still DEATHLY afraid of the dark/ghosts, this is the most relatable video of yours I've watched so far. I laughed so hard! 🤣 And 100% agree with every sentiment 👏
I love living alone; but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't, like something is wrong with me. That feeling does not change the fact I need to be alone, silence is so golden. No drama, OMG, I hate drama. I have learned to do things myself & not depend upon other people to help, because let's face no one likes to. They do it out of some sort of obligation. Thanks for the video.
Nothing wrong with you. Sounds like you know yourself ❤
I do not live alone, two kids, heavy hobbies spreading hubby but I loved your video and found it so amusing. Your very funny and honest and love your videos. Going to check out your podcast, keep doing you girl cause you are truly fresh and something good to be online.
thank you for your view on boredom . i had an old friend who had a motto that was " only boring people get bored . " and how much that phrase ruined a part of my psyche is still astounding .
boredom is absolutely essential to growth .
and you ' re not boring for being bored .
I love living alone!! I’m
Not a typical introvert but I relish not having answering to anyone and doing things on my own terms. It amazes me how many people are afraid of living by themselves. It really is the greatest way to learn about yourself.
Yes 🙌
100% I think it's so intimidating to THINK about, but the reality of figuring it out each day is actually much easier, and so rewarding
I'm genuinely curious to know what that means. I don't feel like I learn anything about myself alone but in relationships with others.
@Laurett Gannon agree 💯!
@@leonore3349 living alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have relationships with others. I find that I’m better off in my relationships when I also have time and space to myself. It’s a balance for me. Otherwise it’s too much together time and I don’t enjoy it after a certain point. I’m also a middle child and grew up in chaos - I’m
Not sure if that has anything to do with it.
Ok I literally just watched the first minute and this is already the best intro I've ever seen in my life
100%
@@y0utuberculosis I'm obsessed with your username, congratulations on your sense of humour. Spectacular.
I love living alone too. My children are on their own and I’ve been married twice. I enjoy not feeling like I have to have dinner ready at a certain time, etc., feeling pressure to be a certain way. I come home and relax if I want, do whatever I feel like doing, not what I feel is expected of me. I read, spend time with my sweet dogs, cook, watch shows, spend time with friends & family, exercise, etc., whenever I want. It’s freeing and I’m very happy. 💝
For the cooking problem, just cook like normal and stock the freezer with leftovers. If the recipe is really big then I’ll just cut it in half and freeze some. It’s nice too bc on days I don’t feel like cooking or eating out there’s usually something in the freezer I can quickly reheat
That opening was the funniest and most real thing I've seen in a long time! :D
I was just this morning thinking about how I hope you're uploading soon 😍 I love living alone, but having a dog definitely helps. Partly because she's my buddy and keeps me company, but also because I trust that she would let me know if there was someone hiding somewhere in the apartment.
i do think about getting a dog a lot. i think i wouldnt be afraid then. i just know im not around quite enough to be able to care for one, but i feel like a pet is such a great buddy esp when living alone
Caroline you are so strong, you are a unique, phenomenal person! I live with my husband, no children yet the first time I adopted my cats, it completely changed my life! I think I understood for the first time what ‘free’ love is! Frankly I don’t think I could live alone without the presence of those warm living furries. Being alone and feeling alone are 2 different things. If your family lives abroad or you didn’t grow up in this country, you may have a hard time feeling really close to the new friends you are making as an adult. I highly recommend a pet. I love to travel so yes, finding a pet sitter can be a bit inconvenient. I use Rover and reuse the sitter if I like him/her the first time. We also live in a doorman building in NYC so it’s easier but when I lived alone in Ann Arbor in a house, I asked and paid a neighbor to feed the cats. You are making wonderful videos Caroline, thank you!
Dear Caroline, I also wanted to reply to previous videos where you say something like ‘you are not mariage or relationship material’. Caroline stop putting those sad thoughts in your mind, you are going to be the wonderful happy wife of a fantastic man and a wonderful mother! I used to feel this way as well so here is what I think has happened in your previous relationships: you are going out with guys who are below your level. For a long time you were in the acting environment and perhaps your choice of men got influenced by that environment. You come from a wholesome, highly intellectual family and I don’t think you realize how loving and functional your family is, compared to others. Your parents are together and you have 3 successful siblings. So you need to search for a guy in THAT environment and at the same level as you or higher. You said you had a boyfriend who was abusive and treated you terribly. I bet it’s bcoz he felt you were superior to him and he couldn’t take it, so he needed to make you feel small. I too, was so insecure and going out with guys below me and they eventually were rejecting me. It took me years to understand my ‘power’ and my ‘charisma’. Now I know I could have gotten any man I wanted. You have to realize how powerful you are Caroline, you have charisma and wit and you look great. First of all how many women your age have this cute face, phenomenal body and more importantly your personality, character and family background? Btw did people tell you totally look like Kate Middleton? I also find something Jewish about you (I am Jewish so that’s a compliment): Smart, analytical, empathetic, neurotic 😁, wants to improve the work (Tikkun Olam), likes a bargain 😄! My advice is: you are shooting too low. Your mom teaches religion in a college, your sister went to Yale and Stanford, go look for a man in those environments, someone with a PhD, or at least a successful professional career. You are also very spiritual so perhaps someone who is a bit religious, a nice Christian boy or nice Jewish boy. You are an alpha type so you probably need someone more reserved, less extroverted than you are, but with a warm heart and who likes that you are high energy and more extroverted than he is and a tat exhibitionist 😄. Someone like your mom or dad or brother or sisters. Are there any Harvard or MIT events or the equivalent in Washington for singles? GO there! Smart, academic men love women like you. I have a PhD in Physics from Columbia so I know their type. But since you are athletic he should also be cute and in a decent shape.
You are investing a lot in your videos, start investing in a search for your future husband. But you cannot act or feel insecure about it. Ask yourself: ‘I am 30, what if someone could foresee the future and told me that for sure I’ll meet my husband when I am 34 yo? How would I feel in those next 4 years when I meet a potential date? Would I be relaxed and easy going or would I feel anxious that perhaps I like him but he won’t like me etc.‘? I bet you would be more relaxed and funny and picky bcoz you should! So that’s how you should go to a date even without that prediction. Another tip: if you worry about biological clock and children, then in a year or so, think about freezing your eggs. It’s a month of injections and a bit of money but it’s a peace of mind for the future. Then you can meet your husband when you are 39 and still have children. Of course you’ll meet someone before. Even statistically, how many women end up without a life companion? But again, forget about actors or loosers and search for ‘good guys’ in academia or a successful professional, perhaps a Washington international lawyer, someone with an open mind. Invest at least one day a week to search for him with all your resources, like you invest a week to make a video. It WILL come, you are worth it. If you read this comment, please lmk. I had thought about writing it for a while and finally invested the time today to do it and I'm glad I did. Thanks
@@Caroline_Winkler If your circumstances eventually allow, I'd definitely recommend getting a pet. In the meantime, consider using some type of nightlight in your hallway and/or other strategic locations.
Age 64 here. When I was younger I was so scared being alone. That goes away over time and I LOVE BEING ALONE. Married now, so it’s hard to be alone. I miss it.
I live alone and love it. I decorated my condo in my style and didn’t have to compromise. I’m a minimalist and I don’t like clutter so I don’t have to put up with someone making a mess. While I enjoy people and going out, I like my alone time. I can watch what I want on TV, listen to music when I want, and just do what I want. I live in a condo One thing I would recommend is getting remote for you shades so you don’t have to clime on a table to open them.
Freedom plus courage equals hells to the yeah!
You echo so many of my own thoughts and discoveries. One minor point to add about those transient and inevitable feelings of loneliness. I've found that it's much easier to tolerate feeling alone and living by yourself than feeling alone and having a partner/spouse/roommate that you aren't connecting with. Perhaps a little depressing but I think it explains a lot of how the desire for solitude can reinforce itself over time.
Love the montage of you using your living room like "See? Here I am. Using my living room."
I am 63 and have lived alone ever since graduating college. I’m never lonely; I love being alone and not having to check in with anyone. I fall asleep watching true crime videos and do not have nightmares about them, nor do I have a home security system. Try living alone, you’ll love it! 👍🏻😁
Wow wow
@@melmel7011 😊
Thanks Rhonda! 🤗
@@KB-hs7vh My comment sounds a bit snarky, but I didn’t mean it that way. 😣
I lived alone and worked from home for 8 years and the hardest times were when I was ill. With you on the silence thing, I crave silence all the time, it’s so wonderful.
Same same! Lived alone, worked from home, and I agree, the hardest times were when I was sick. Otherwise I loved it.
I have lived alone for almost 12 years and love it. Cooking for just myself still sucks but I bulk meal prep. Recently my Mum was rushed to hospital and ended up being in hospital for 23 days and my sister stayed with me for almost that whole time. As much as I love my sister I desperately wanted her to go home so I could have my space back. You have to learn to embrace the time and learn who you are. It’s the best time to learn about yourself.
Ive been watching your videos for the last couple days and I don’t know why, but when you said GHOSTS I spit my food out across the room. I laughed for at least a minute while you continued but THIS IS ME. I check under my bed, my closets, my when I’m in the tub I keep the curtain open. And if I hear a noise at all anytime in the night
I have to investigate.
I love and hate at the same time living alone.
Thank you for your videos.
This was a genius intro Caroline! Little story...in my teens, twenties, and early thirties I was a rockstar...really I fronted a band that was a hot new thing and traveled the world and had a million friends and part of this life I made for myself was because I was terrified of quiet, bring alone, etc...fast forward...I should probably get some friends but I'm VERY HAPPY just chilling and making art at home. I'm married now but I'm telling you learning to live and be alone changed all aspects of my life for the better!!!! I learned to love and respect myself. You're awesome, lady! XO
My problem is not embracing being alone; I fully embrace it. My problem is forcing myself to socialize more and I know you covered that in another video. I loved the part where you bravely organized a picnic meet-up in that one.
Guy here that had been a carer for about 10 years to his late father for about 10 years post postgrad and now just me and my mum in the house.
love your videos your energy and ideas, it just makes me happy
This is cinema. The intro and the parts with you running away from the light switch? I appreciate the cinematography and the sound editing. So good.
I grew up with a not so good childhood. Lots of anxiety walking around a narcissistic parent and then suddenly having to assume household duties as a teenager when my parents divorced. I got a taste of (forced) independence when they imposed those responsibilities that set me on track to seek out the escape I have now. I have lived alone for a decade and just bought my condo. It’s great having my own space and being able to have full control over who comes in it, change it at will if I feel creative without anyone else chipping in naysaying, and be able to discard the criticism of whether or not I’m ready because I’ve been doing this since I was fourteen thank you very much! I got the experience and I don’t need another person to judge me on if I’m doing it right or not.
Caroline, you can get a plug in night light that's triggered by motion detection.
While my ex stray cat was still getting used to me I used to walk into my dark kitchen (en route to the lav) and the darkness would hiss at me.
I AUTOMATICALLY added this video to my "Life with ADHD" playlist and the longer I watch it, I'm convinced that decision was correct. Love all your tips. I definitely needed the reminders of things that have worked for me in the past.
i think the people need some more recommendations from your playlist 🙌
Omgggg I second the recommendation request ^^
@@Caroline_Winkler Happy to share the playlist. Didn't want to spam the comments. Here it is: th-cam.com/play/PL_jd_aXRYgPvfEt4ci9oVl95D91Z3TBv6.html PSA: I am a mother with undiagnosed ADHD raising an Autistic child, so some videos might not be relevant to everyone. A lot of great folks, including you Caroline, add so much value to my self-guided journey managing my ADHD. Thank you.
P.S. I loved your podcast interview with the Content Folks.
@@tesscrelli783 check my reply to Caroline for the 🔗.
There is no peace quite so restful as being alone. Love the positive take on boredom, loneliness, and being alone. Thanks for another thoughtful video even though there weren’t actually any ghosts 😮
I've lived alone all of my adult life but you definitely feel a difference when a relationship ends. You have to get back to yourself again. The biggest challenge was going on vacation alone and now I LOVE it! I meet so many people and I never have a bad vacation! I do whatever I want when I want. They have been my most exciting times!
What sort of vacations? What do you do and where?
I just lost my grandfather last week, so I just want to thank you for making this video- first off: you made me laugh like I was a maniac, and second: made me wonder what is important to appreciate in life and I think I really needed a dose of both of those things.
Thank you for being you, you're a great person Caroline
-Benjamin
Please write a book! I stumbled on your channel for interior design, but you have so much more to offer humans!
Thank you for being so raw and honest! Your life journey and the lessons you have learned are so invaluable! The humor you bring is so refreshing! ❤
Chores was so much easier for me when I lived alone after leaving my x. No more frustration about the expectation that he would do something but didn't, going days hoping he would and just getting more irritated about it. Living alone I knew it was up to me, I did it, and it was done. That's one thing I truly miss (I'm in a relationship with 3 kids now).
Also, silence is the best.
I miss living alone 😂😫😂
I grew up a very ONLY child and it’s extremely hard being around too much humanity.
I suppose I always had a lot of critters…my parents were divorced and both overcompensated because they worked. A lot. Mom doctor father attorney, stepparents both PhDs.
So I was just…alone. With horses and dogs and cats.
That helped. A lot. Now I’ve got a kid who’s extremely clingy and a partner who thankfully isn’t one to push himself on me.
They know I need my space, literally, I have a three car garage with a decent sized apartment over it and I hide a lot. They can visit but if the sign is hung it’s a no entry zone.
I get to pretend I’m alone there.
Why?
To walk around naked
To dance like a lunatic and sing badly…loudly.
To create my little “artworks” out of sticks and mud.
To process verbally. I need to talk to myself to get my thoughts straight and it’s hard to do with eyeballs around.
They know it’s for my sanity and I think ALL people need a void in which they can enter to be free.
Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely, but if it’s causing loneliness :(
There are ways…make plans, talk on the phone, get out of the house, take classes…invite buddies over.
When I was alone I always had little dinners for friends and family, no big shindigs just “hey, I’ve got too much meat please come eat it and we can play scrabble after”.
Body pillows are nice if you don’t have a snuggle dog.
Actually I never lived alone without a pet. I don’t think I’d do very well.
Bird? Fish? Lots o plants?
Needn’t be a fur bearing creature, a mammal if you will, but something that sees you and thinks “I know her!!” Something that moves around. I think there’s one thing that I both loved and hated about being alone, nothing was ever moved. Everything was just as I’d left it. Refreshing to not have a mess, sad to realize it’s just me.
Also
I think duplexes are perfect for marriage/cohabitation.
My friend and her partner were totally not adapted to the way the other lived and it caused so much TENSION. That was all they fought about, but the list became interminable: temperature, maximalism vs minimalism, chores, colors, fabrics…as in he liked wool and down blankets and she just wanted a sheet. It became clear they couldn’t share a space without major compromise so I offhandedly suggested they move into one of the duplexes they owned and rented out.
They did, twenty years later they say it saved their marriage and I swear by it.
After my breakup I started living alone for the first time in five years and it was terrifying. I usually liked being on my own, I liked silence, still I was very much uncomfortable without another person around. I would put some videos to have voices on the background and always turn the lights on in every room, even though I’m not usually afraid of darkness and I don’t think that there’s something there! Slowly I got used to it, but I still cannot stay in the darkness all the way and I leave some lights on, it is just my reality now. On the bright side I lost a lot of weight just because now I have to take care of my own meals only and it turns out I don’t need much (and it IS easy to eat healthy). Oh and also you can be as gross as you want in your appearance and behaviour 😂 I can’t even imagine living with somebody else right now.
When I saw the title my response was, “It’s the best! It’s the best! It’s the best ever!!!” I don’t live alone now and I really miss it. Couldn’t be better.
Another tip for you is to journal your good and bad days when you don’t have any one to share with and use it as if you’re talking to someone who is your best friend vent, or tell your deepest darkest secrets it really helps when you’re alone. I have found this helpful for me for years now. I’ve lost my journals when I was a single mom of my girls when they were little but I loved living alone.