Elliot Scott Attraction Coach - I need help on a twist to this video, how do you give him a taste of his own medicine, while getting them to improve & stick around?
Elliot Scott Attraction Coach I learned hard way lol I now got two guys, I'm just taking both lightly. I get attention and companionship. Lol I don't care anymore lol Play the playa
PenguinLover Pengui true and trun tables on him.and he would not like it and be bicth him dont talk or see him and block his number just move on if you stay he hurt you more.
Focusing on self improvement, socializing (being seen), working on career goals, etc are things women should focus on primarily. If a good man comes along and enhances your fabulous life, then give it a chance. I say this from experience. I used to focus a lot of my time on whether I was liked enough by men or if I was attractive enough. Forget about all that and live an awesome, independent life. Happy New Year to everyone!!
@@winonarampage That is true. That's why I've decided now to work on being more socially and physically attractive. It really helps boost confidence as well.
It took being 37 for me to shift my mindset to just what you're describing. You are absolutely right...fear of losing a guy is the number one culprit in women's woes. It took throwing the stupid rule book out the window for me to be this happy, ladies please take this dude's advice, it works. Let fear out of your life, that calendar ( yes,you know which one I'm talking about... and I'm in Africa), burn it. Talk to more guys, just for fun, just for practice, your options will begin to expand.
right on! It took me being 42 and in the pits to finally get it... like I said to a two timing fiasco date (as i call him) when i caught him out trying to bench me: ' I don't waste my time with people who don't want to know me. I'm too good to be your plan B'- I felt sooooo empowered...He tried to persuade me to keep seeing each other... I got rid of him, fast. Now I'm clear and to the point and keep talking to different people, it's great practice, you grow a thick skin and your resilience increase too. And some guys suprise you, too. I don'y wait for anyone...
I was talking to this guy and he was just playing games with me. I had enough of his bs and I stop talking to him. I learned my lesson to never lower my standards ever again. Thanks for the advice!!!
taromilktee how did he react when you stopped talking to him? I just blocked a guy. Wondering what will happen because I’ll see him later in social situations ugh. He would keep texting me even if after he rejected me
That's why women should date and talk to multiple men. Keep your options open until he brings up exclusiveness. You're single until you are married ladies.
But if a man does this he is playing you. Which came first the player or the promiscuous woman? Chew on that for a while. This only perpetuates the supposed problem. Yada Yada Yada. Step back detach from the feels and look at it without the emotion attached. Enlighten yourself. Grow past this petty ish.
This is THE best advice I’ve ever heard and after being cheated on I now don’t give a sh*t if a man doesn’t value me I walk. Yep like someone but don’t NEED them. That’s the mistake I made with a player. I’ve become super independent and proud of who I am.I now have a great guy who adores me but it took a lying cheat who broke my heart into million pieces to become a high value woman. NO man should ever be given the power to make you feel less than your true worth. Great video Elliot. Ps the guy who played me asked me back out 7 times… the answer is still a big fat NO. Once a cheat always a cheat
Get a guy to talk to you. He will tell you his imperfections when discussing previous relationships. Listen to him. Is the woman always to blame? Does he sound like he has relationships that last, or does he just do quick bouncing from one to the next? You decide based on this info if he is a keeper. I usually know on the first date. Make him comfortable and he will talk, talk, talk.
I can't stress enough how right Elliot is ... Guys are always gonna test you to see if he can fool you and if you always let him come back he will see it as he has you wrapped around his finger. When a guy says "you are the only one I'm talking to" it's a LIE. Unless y'all in a committed relationship. Elliot is so right and I was the type to allow a guy to leave and come back because I was afraid of losing him. But how guys see it as is,.. (Oh this girl is easy) (she took me back so she takes trash back ok I lost respect for her) (I am going to talk to her for ego boost)etc. In the end he decide to ghost on me because he met another girl. Ever since I learned the hard way and I don't allow a guy to see me as an object. I am aware he is talking to multiple girls even if he says he ain't. I know his actions speak louder than words. I look at his effort over time and act as if I don't care. I don't expect anything from him because I know he is just a boy. I have the mindset play it cool and dont give a shit. Lol
It's true that you mustn't allow them to get away with anything, but they need to use their brains and realize that what the: are doing is wrong. If a guy is not a good person, I don't need him anyway.
Treat a guy like a dog, scold when bad and praise when good. Don't allow or praise bad behavior! Dr pat Allen has podcasts and books on how to do just that, scripts on how to speak like a real woman. ❤️
c g I’ve left the relationship 3 days ago and he’s moving on to his next target that fast. I’m damaged emotionally, mentally and physically. I’m unable to trust anyone and I’ve been suffering with anxiety attacks. I don’t know how I will heal from this
Melisha Naidoo k you gotta go absolute NO CONTACT. I know how you feel. Delete him from social media, remove everything even vaguely concerning him and keep yourself busy: I'm not exaggerating.
c g he is already moving on to a girl who has baby from another guy :/ I have blocked him on social media since then. He honestly feels nothing for the shit he put me through, I have to heal while he walks away unscathed
Me too! It’s not often that I’m interested in a man, and if I fall in love with him and we’re together for a year or more it’s so hard to let it go. Nobody is perfect, and if I love him then his positive traits are so intoxicating and I feel I should overlook his negatives. I don’t know why men think that we women have guys knocking down our doors all day long. It’s crazy. Maybe some women do but I certainly don’t, and I’ve never known more than a few women who did.
The guy I was in a relationship for 6 months dumped me by text because "he is not ready for a committed relationship". I just ignored his text. I have too much self-respect and hope he understood that. I never chased a guy and never will.
Elliot speaks the truth! I actually have a funny story that relates to this topic: A couple years ago I briefly dated a guy (whom revealed himself to be a Narcissistic Sociopath). Well I dumped him really quick when I realized he wasn't long-term material. To this day he still chases me and exemplifies creepy/stalker behaviors, lol. I think as women we can quite easily have the upper hand. Walk away as soon as they start acting different. Maintain high standards for how you expect to be treated. Eventually you'll meet an amazing person - so just create a fulfilling life until then 😄 💜
Alicja xo so true. I do this now to every guy. Soon as he's in, I show them that I like you but am too busy so take it or leave it. Omg men hate to be ignored. They come too strong.
Had to walk away from guys who didn’t want the same thing and appreciate what I have to offer. It took me some time but I just chose to walk away from someone who said he doesn’t want relationship. I refuse to be a convenience, a second choice, side chick, almost relationship, all that. I’ve stuck around before with guys thinking he would change, and he didn’t. Now no matter how much it hurts or how much I think I like him or see potential , I will walk away .
Right on time dude. This guy that I dated I hoped that he will commit I was so patient and it has been a year, now he was so depressed coz I told him we can’t see each other anymore because it’s going nowhere... he was so tortured that i was ignoring him etc. now he blocked me, now his friend told me that he’s just hurt from his past relationship. Well that’s not my Fckng problem. Everyone got their heart broken it’s part of life. I’m moving on and not looking back.
Man you fucking nailed it!!!! There's a dude who's a fitness model and long story short we ended up meeting. He has a huge fan base and at first I was attracted just to his outside and he started treating me like I was a noone. I fell back but he keeps chasing, when I called him out on his shit he was upset. I was expecting him to not reach out again but he did and continues. I didn't really care if he did because I find him shallow and told him this. Now he's chasing and I can careless and he's annoying the shit outta me!!!!! He's using that plan B you speak of but honestly speaking he showed his ass and I don't like him!!!! Told him this shit and he's still after me! He calls me cold hearted. I to him he needs to humble himself, bottomline don't give a flying fuck what he does or has. I feel that's the only damn reason he's after me. It's like when you don't give a shit they wanna chase
This is gold- really needed this right now. Lack of options is my problem completely! The problem is I only come across a guy I am interested in very rarely and quality men are scarce.
Great video!! Thank you Elliot. No matter how much it hurts, I refuse to chase a guy, especially when I find out he was talking to other women, disappear, playing mind games, and trying to feed me bullshit.
I think a woman needs to develop this type of mindset. They need to stop letting their emotions get in the way of getting hurt, i do believe early on but either they ignore it or simply they are wat i called hooked on the guy they lose focus. Im just saying
Some dude dated and broke up with me and after that still wanted to kiss me!!So when he leaned in, I slapped him across the face and said you really think you had a shot at playing me , I just beat you at your own game
It's so unfair that "caring too much" is such a disadvantage for women. I date to marry, not to play and have fun. I gave my all to the guy who agreed to commit and seemed so sure that we're already in a relationship, yet he still treated me so badly.. You're right about letting the guy SHOW first that he's interested in a relationship before I reciprocate the same thing. Some guys lie and manipulate, their actions don't match their words.. and it's on me for believing them. Thank you so much for the insight, it's such an eye-opener on how women usually think. It's really sad that the rational advice nowadays should be "I like you but I don't need you" and "don't give a shit". It's only after my second heartbreak I found this necessary.
This is the absolute truth!!! If women raised their standards the guys would rise to the occasion!! Men only put in the least required effort! Rise up women! Love this Elliot!! 💕
I finally came to terms with the fact that I couldn't make him change, I told him either he gets it together or he leaves because either way i'm good. Now all of a sudden he's doing all the things I needed from him from the start, but honestly it's the consistency that I am concerned about. I feel like it may just be too little too late.
I needed this today because this guy I like tried to sweet talk me into giving him money. I told him no and he stormed out like a baby. He's the type that you can give him 100 and he will be broke and asking for more the next day. I'm starting to like him less and less.
I mboo You’re “starting to like him less and less?” That relationship should’ve ended immediately. There’s no gray area on that. He stormed out because you wouldn’t give him money. Omg.
This sh*t is so accurate. I remember I used to take the beating ALL the time with my exes. He literally cheated on me 100x . He even brought a b*tch to my birthday party and was hooking up with her in front of me with a smile on his face. I ended up finding a new guy , LOL funny you mentioned that. And I got over him fairly quickly! I promised myself I will never be that girl that lets anyone do me wrong again. The new guys got cut off the minute I didn’t like something they did. I warn them usually that if they did so and so there is no second chances. So when I tell you ahead of time then you go do those very things.. YOURE CUT bc clearly ending it was what they wanted. They always have the victim mentality... how dare I cut them off for something horrible. 99% of the time they will try to turn it around on me. I LOVE when they do that. This guy im with now respects the f*ck outta me. We have been together for 6yrs strong never once has he done something that I’m aware of that I didn’t like. If I’m being honest he fears me but in the scared to lose me way. I remember once he went to his boys house but told me he was at his moms house.. I didn’t talk to him for a solid 2-3weeks & he was BEGGING for me nonstop. Something as little as that made him realize that I mean business. But he knows & I KNOW if he ever does me wrong idc about the 6yrs... he’s OUT
If ANYONE has negative comments....keep it to yourself....the whole purpose is to HELP one another & build self-esteem😉. Negativity probably landed the pessimists right where they are. Have an AWESOME & BEAUTIFUL DAY ALL
My #1 rule of advice for my daughter as she was growing up was.... Boys are not going to inherently treat you well... You as a women have to Demand How To be treated
Well yes...and then men realize what they lost at age around 40+ ..when they see that spreading options left them alone, feeling alone and thinking about committing suicide.
Elliot I don't know what video I watched of yours but you recommended to have a "don't give a crap mindset". I walked away and come to find out I was being emotionally abused. So thank you so much for your advice and tips. I couldn't see the red flags. I just knew it was messing with my mind, didn't feel good and I was in emotional pain. This was only a 3 month interaction. I can only imagine if it had gone longer. He is a 55 year old devout catholic man. Ladies beware.
When my ex broke up with me I told him I had plenty of options and I chose him! And he lost his s*** Imagine telling a dude “he was chosen from a list of options” Geez he was butt hurt!
I like you but I don't need you...has really helped me. I had stopped meditation and yoga but plan on going back to the lDGAF me. It kept me safe and much happier!
I hate to admit this but he's right. I've seen time and time again; this great woman, great Mom, and great body after having a kid, and these guys treat them like crap and then leave them. I'm glad he's willing to tell women to treat a guy like a dog. People have called my Mom an absolute b****. She and my Dad have been married for over 50 years. She's on him all the time about everything. She's trained him well from the beginning--she's a strong personality who is only like 5'4". My Dad is 6' tall and she is so bossy, but it works. She has a very high morale code and it's still her way or the highway. :)
Abusive situations can be addictive, because they make you feel strong emotions. And intense sexual relationships are sometimes easy to fall into over and over again. Sometimes you can tell a person over and over again to stop being with a person who is abusing them and they won't do it. If you want to help them you have to give them an alternative, to the intensity they experience in those relationships. Something that gives them confidence that doesn't involve that partner, like exercise and personal development, and community support. You have to treat a person in an abusive situation like you would a person who has a physical addiction to anything. Because it's an addiction.
Just told the guy I've been seeing this exact thing, "I like you, but I don't need you." right to his face before I even came across this video lol I think he was flabbergasted by that
Honest talk. I have learned so much from Elliot. Thank you. May God continue to bless you so you can continue helping women get out of bad relationships and realizing they are their worth.❤
I am so blessed I have seen trough this game in 2 weeks only. Imagine if I had let this guy do what he has done for years. Saying he wants to be with you, and wants to be in a relationship with you, and he says that he is sorry - those are just words. If your gut feeling and his actions are saying differently. Block him, on to the next one. I am so blessed to not be afraid of losing the wrong guy.
Some of us have attachment issues. Ladies, if you’re one of those you don’t have to cut them off completely. Just distance yourself and alternate between being warm and cold. Stop being warm all the time! And I know it’s hard but it’s a lot easier than going cold turkey. And who knows, most likely you’ll re attract the guy cuz if you have attachment issues you lost him due to neediness or his interest. So distance yourself. Like him but don’t need him ;)
You talked about the exact problem that my relationship had! The guy I was in a relationship with for 3 years did the exact same thing of going and coming back...Thankyou so much.Now I know where the problem was.I owe you tons of thanks XX 💗
I have been binging on your videos for two days and can’t thank you enough for all your help. It’s like you’re my virtual big brother teaching me everything I have done wrong in the past and area helping me so much finding my value and rebuilding myself! Elliot, you are my hero!!!
Omfg... I love you. Hahaha. You crack me up how you explain things, BUT it is SO accurate. Love the no BS straight forward approach and verbage you have. Been watching your videos recently and working on getting that attitude/mind set you keep urging all of us women to have. The small changes I've been making have definitely helped me feel better.
Elliott, this is one of your BEST videos yet! Thank you for all that you do for we women who benefit from your wisdom and balls to give it to us straight!
I have a hard time understanding why guys come across as either unattainable, or have the attitude that they can have any woman they want, therefore they can drag things out and for some women it becomes too much work and they end up dumping him. Who wants to hang around while he goes through his women's list. Just sayin'
The problem is when we don't like a guy , we can say I like you but don't need you. But when we fall for a guy we become weak & take shit cuz love blinds us , and don't wanna lose that guy. That is the whole problem. Love your videos , and I love your advices 😊❣️
Ive been dating a guy who was great the first 2-3 weeks and after that he just stopped working for it and acted like i was already in the pocket. I do not appreciate the way he treats me, as if im an option instead of a priority. And apparently he is so full of himself that he blames me for everything he did wrong. He even went as far as to test me by not telling me he left for a few days? Test me for what exactly? Thanks for this video! I will put on a i dont give a shit mindset and move on 👍
The funny thing is when guys talk to other girls (and they definitely do) but expect you not to talk to other guys. We spoke about this with other guy friends and it's so true. Why do guys think it's ok to flirt with other women / date them, but they want women not to do the same. Many guys told me this.
I completely agree. I always speak up when I am upset with a guy because he's pulling away, going back on promises he made regarding dates etc...it happened a lot in the past and even if the guy is not a jerk, men tend to pull away quite often for various reasons. But as a girl who has spoken up when upset, I have to say it also backfired on me because they either saw me as high maintenance or too needy or too critical or making a lot of drama out of things.... so it always backfired because the truth is guys also don't like women who confront them and if they can't please a woman, they tend to go for what is easier and they go find a woman who actually accepts what they do and how they do things and have an easy life with her. I saw that happen too. And...I did't even say 'fuck you, get out of here' etc..lol so yeah, I actually had to learn to not be so open with what displeases me and start playing mind games, pull away, tease, pretend I am not upset... the sad truth is that communicating openly with the guy EXACTLY how you feel is something that can backfire. Manipulative women (the very subtle, calculated ones) get to be more valued and respected than the ones who say 'I am disappointed,you didn't do this, I can't believe you said that'... these women that are successful in relationships tends to conceal their real emotions or intentions and play mind games and sadly it seems to be the best thing to work with men
I loved this video, but I loved your comment even more. You describe perfectly how manipulative women seem to have great success when it comes to relationships with men. And you helped me realize that Elliott who talks about indifferent women and how they can handle their relationships better ( "treat him like a dog" and "I like you, but don't need you"), in fact, to mens' ears and eyes is the SAME approach as the ones who are manipulative towards their men and always act with strategy. So, sadly I am now convienced that in order to make a relationship work and your man to value you, you ve got to either be not so interested in the guy from the beginning, or be a manipulative woman who never loses her temper and always calculate things. I just wish there was a medium stage, where the woman could really talk about her worries & the man to pay attention, listen to her & doesn't repeat the same mistakes. Otherwise, I feel like a relationship consumes too much mental energy & by including any kind of strategy and by forbiding your spontaneity with your man, you create a not so real relationship. I though men liked real women who shared their opinions openly with them! I guess their ego plays a huge part in the relationship & perhaps this is what allows indifferent and manipulative women to win over in the end.
Actually I noticed that when speak up to him what is is that I don't like, for example "I haven't heard from you all day" , than he actually text me more or tries to repair the situation. When i don't say anything he doesn't know.
Out all responses, this is the most accurate I’ve seen on any forum! I totally agree with you! Both men I just dealt with went back to their seemingly doormat exes, but they were calculating women who were extremely manipulative and never confronted their men. I am always confrontational, just like the video recommended, and end up losing the guy- so I think not voicing concerns is the best way to go, sadly. I just don’t know how to master being manipulative yet, and I have no idea how these women didn’t let their emotions get to them.
I just want him to leave me alone. Like f off waaaaayyyyyy over there, yo. I changed my phone number, blocked him from everything. Hes showing up at my door now. Crying and apologizing. We never even slept together, just one month of dating and now 8 months of his begging for me to take him back. NO WAY! He's a lieing, unemployed, no driver's license or car, thieving, cheating, drama diva. Besides a restraining order, how do I get him to go away!
I think it's when you just want love and I'm not saying I don't love myself but definitely a lack of options. We just settle cause there is quite literally no one out there or at least it feels that way. But deep down we know somethings up. Or we want things immediately and don't want to be alone
Elliott you are so right on with all your advice. I thought I was in an exclusive stable loving relationship but it was long distance and you were exactly right he was cheating on me while I was being faithful. ☹️
Ellie, I think what you're trying to say is that we shouldn't put all our eggs in one basket...that's probably the term you meant by spreading themselves thinner...I TOTALLY agree! and we put TOO MUCH on the outcome instead of focusing on fun & attraction! Thanks Ellie!
THANK YOU’ your so frank and honest! Your one of the reasons why I really don’t care anymore when it comes to relationships! It’s TRUE’ you CANT CARE SO MUCH! EVEN A LITTLE TINCEY BIT! I’ve learned to do my own thing and don’t even dare get upset about it ANYMORE
After him investing 10 hours with me total since the end of July because allegedly working 60 hours per week, I told him when he will have more time for me to contact me and catch me if he can. Not exactly a formal goodbye but it's almost official, I'm almost sure he will take it this way. What the f*k with men, I tend to think with my experience that a lot of them are children in the kindergarten. I don't have time to poo poo train him.
You are 100% right! The ONLY way someone can hurt you, manipulate you, or use you is if you allow them to. YOU and only you, are in control of your own feelings and reactions. You have to make that conscious decision to not allow their actions to affect you..... That whole " I can't help how I feel "...is BULLSHIT! YOUR THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP HOW YOU FEEL!
You are a 100% right !! So I listened to you , I just dumped my Hot Babe !! Feels really good ! Even if he crawls back to me , I will be very reluctant to take him back !! Thanks for your advice!!
This works, my ex keeps wanting to hangout and dig a little deeper into how I feel because of the way he texts me & I keep my answers very vague & with an air of “I’m not interested in a relationship right now/I’m living my life and going with it” & he keeps coming back, texting, asking to hangout etc ...
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Elliot Scott Dating most of this is biblical
i have some questions
Your material is awesome! It just shows ladies what their worth is and not to accept anything less..👍
Elliot Scott Attraction Coach - I need help on a twist to this video, how do you give him a taste of his own medicine, while getting them to improve & stick around?
Elliot Scott Attraction Coach I learned hard way lol I now got two guys, I'm just taking both lightly. I get attention and companionship. Lol I don't care anymore lol
Play the playa
When a guy doesn't appreciate me and just takes me for granted, the best thing to do is ditch and ignore him for good!
PenguinLover Pengui Ignore him for rest of your life I am doing this right now.😊
Gen Walsh yesssssss.
True story!
PenguinLover Pengui
true and trun tables on him.and he would not like it and be bicth him dont talk or see him and block his number just move on
if you stay he hurt you more.
PenguinLover Pengui agree
Focusing on self improvement, socializing (being seen), working on career goals, etc are things women should focus on primarily. If a good man comes along and enhances your fabulous life, then give it a chance. I say this from experience. I used to focus a lot of my time on whether I was liked enough by men or if I was attractive enough. Forget about all that and live an awesome, independent life. Happy New Year to everyone!!
Thank You! Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the cost of the three of them speak to me again and again.
I don't want to be seen.
Easy to say when ur conventionally attractive & married before 37 😢
@@winonarampage That is true. That's why I've decided now to work on being more socially and physically attractive. It really helps boost confidence as well.
A famous saying is 'you hurt me once shame on you , if you hurt me twice then shame on me'.
I like that
Noted!
In other words a man will treat you how YOU LET HIM! A man treats you how he feels about you. And that's a fact. Thank you for another great video x
"I like you, but don't need you". Got it!! Straight up no chasers. Appreciate the honest truth. Empowering!!!🙌🙌🙌
Yeah right sure thing
It took being 37 for me to shift my mindset to just what you're describing. You are absolutely right...fear of losing a guy is the number one culprit in women's woes. It took throwing the stupid rule book out the window for me to be this happy, ladies please take this dude's advice, it works. Let fear out of your life, that calendar ( yes,you know which one I'm talking about... and I'm in Africa), burn it. Talk to more guys, just for fun, just for practice, your options will begin to expand.
Gen Walsh that good ol biological clock
I agree with you Limpho. Focusing only on one guy is the worst mistake.
right on! It took me being 42 and in the pits to finally get it... like I said to a two timing fiasco date (as i call him) when i caught him out trying to bench me: ' I don't waste my time with people who don't want to know me. I'm too good to be your plan B'- I felt sooooo empowered...He tried to persuade me to keep seeing each other... I got rid of him, fast. Now I'm clear and to the point and keep talking to different people, it's great practice, you grow a thick skin and your resilience increase too. And some guys suprise you, too. I don'y wait for anyone...
49!
This isn't helpful when men won't even talk to you 😢
I was talking to this guy and he was just playing games with me. I had enough of his bs and I stop talking to him. I learned my lesson to never lower my standards ever again. Thanks for the advice!!!
IAMDIEANA same girlllll
taromilktee how did he react when you stopped talking to him? I just blocked a guy. Wondering what will happen because I’ll see him later in social situations ugh. He would keep texting me even if after he rejected me
That's why women should date and talk to multiple men. Keep your options open until he brings up exclusiveness. You're single until you are married ladies.
Haram
But if a man does this he is playing you. Which came first the player or the promiscuous woman? Chew on that for a while. This only perpetuates the supposed problem. Yada Yada Yada. Step back detach from the feels and look at it without the emotion attached. Enlighten yourself. Grow past this petty ish.
And ? 😂 @@TheWhitestLoYouKnow
Don't let anyone treat you like crap...
No one can respect someone who allows others to walk on them, abuse them and use them. People will treat you how you treat yourself.
This video needs to be drilled into me
Tuly x3 lol...me too
@@infinitel00p94 😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Watch it daily. Me too fren. Lol me too.
I think women are hard wired to 'care', it's an obstacle we all have to deal with. Lets rise above our hormones.
Yeah right women only care about themselves
There's a time to just DeCIDE that you have had enough bullshit!
Shop Bop cab
Cn
Let's burn our bras!
We are just emotional by nature..it's so sad we have do "unlearn" caring so much in order to go through dating.
I'm a single girl in high school and I'm single and happy because I don't need a boyfriend and I don't lower my standards.
dollygirl2842 yasssss girl you go girl
dollygirl2842 Good girl! Way to go; keep doing you
Yaaasssss queen!!!
Just take your time babe❤️
dollygirl2842 you go girl..!!!💪🏼😍🌹
This is THE best advice I’ve ever heard and after being cheated on I now don’t give a sh*t if a man doesn’t value me I walk. Yep like someone but don’t NEED them. That’s the mistake I made with a player. I’ve become super independent and proud of who I am.I now have a great guy who adores me but it took a lying cheat who broke my heart into million pieces to become a high value woman. NO man should ever be given the power to make you feel less than your true worth. Great video Elliot.
Ps the guy who played me asked me back out 7 times… the answer is still a big fat NO. Once a cheat always a cheat
Get a guy to talk to you. He will tell you his imperfections when discussing previous relationships. Listen to him. Is the woman always to blame? Does he sound like he has relationships that last, or does he just do quick bouncing from one to the next? You decide based on this info if he is a keeper. I usually know on the first date. Make him comfortable and he will talk, talk, talk.
Hahaha... and that's y no hot guy wants a milf or a cougar ...juice is not worth the sqeeze
I like the way you think
In short period of the time you will find out what kind man he is
Yesssss
I can't stress enough how right Elliot is ... Guys are always gonna test you to see if he can fool you and if you always let him come back he will see it as he has you wrapped around his finger. When a guy says "you are the only one I'm talking to" it's a LIE. Unless y'all in a committed relationship.
Elliot is so right and I was the type to allow a guy to leave and come back because I was afraid of losing him. But how guys see it as is,..
(Oh this girl is easy)
(she took me back so she takes trash back ok I lost respect for her)
(I am going to talk to her for ego boost)etc.
In the end he decide to ghost on me because he met another girl.
Ever since I learned the hard way and I don't allow a guy to see me as an object. I am aware he is talking to multiple girls even if he says he ain't. I know his actions speak louder than words. I look at his effort over time and act as if I don't care. I don't expect anything from him because I know he is just a boy. I have the mindset play it cool and dont give a shit. Lol
IKR
It's true that you mustn't allow them to get away with anything, but they need to use their brains and realize that what the: are doing is wrong. If a guy is not a good person, I don't need him anyway.
Well said sista lol spot on
Treat a guy like a dog, scold when bad and praise when good. Don't allow or praise bad behavior! Dr pat Allen has podcasts and books on how to do just that, scripts on how to speak like a real woman. ❤️
Alicia B Atherton 🤓🙂
Damn I give the same advice to my mates. Works every time
Do that and you will end up alone and miserable have fun with all your cats
Try to reverse the roles here, how do you feel about that now?
@Ms. Shaddye no have not
your advice is the best. it's true, it all comes down to self worth and self respect.
Gurls just play voodoo magic on him nd make him suffer for da rest of his life.
Hanna Banana give us the formula
Hanna Banana lol,😂😂😂😂
April Tiff 😂😂😂😂
Hanna Banana 😹😂🤣😅
😂😂😂😂
Narcissistic abuse is different from "getting played". COMPLETELY. It took a part of my spirit, money, trust, confidence ....it's NOT the same.
c g exactly what I’m going through
Melisha Naidoo narcissistic abuse is ACTUAL physical/ emotional/ spiritual exploitation. It's BRAIN DAMAGE. Don't downplay it or minimize it.
c g I’ve left the relationship 3 days ago and he’s moving on to his next target that fast. I’m damaged emotionally, mentally and physically. I’m unable to trust anyone and I’ve been suffering with anxiety attacks. I don’t know how I will heal from this
Melisha Naidoo k you gotta go absolute NO CONTACT. I know how you feel. Delete him from social media, remove everything even vaguely concerning him and keep yourself busy: I'm not exaggerating.
c g he is already moving on to a girl who has baby from another guy :/ I have blocked him on social media since then. He honestly feels nothing for the shit he put me through, I have to heal while he walks away unscathed
A lack of options. Yeah I feel like there's a lack of options. And thats so true. I care too much!
Me too! It’s not often that I’m interested in a man, and if I fall in love with him and we’re together for a year or more it’s so hard to let it go. Nobody is perfect, and if I love him then his positive traits are so intoxicating and I feel I should overlook his negatives. I don’t know why men think that we women have guys knocking down our doors all day long. It’s crazy. Maybe some women do but I certainly don’t, and I’ve never known more than a few women who did.
There is no virgin women options I agree
@@dencetrov7099 You’re not a virgin so quit the entitlement to virgins, buddy. Besides, you sound like a pedophile.
@@laundrybasket2689 what exactly makes me so? Prove your words otherwise your words are empty.
This should go viral.
Brutal honesty works!!
I would rather have my dog over a guy these days. My God the games played are INSAIN
*insane... but, ITA, unfortunately.
Vicki Carlon go babe :) pets as the best :)
and those red pill guys are the worst
Vicki Carlon tell me about it
Very true
I do have empathy for people who go back for abuse, this is the spawn of abuse in childhood and it’s called codependency.
The guy I was in a relationship for 6 months dumped me by text because "he is not ready for a committed relationship". I just ignored his text. I have too much self-respect and hope he understood that. I never chased a guy and never will.
I'm not a huge fan of unions but I think in this case we women should unionize.
Lol.
Elliot speaks the truth! I actually have a funny story that relates to this topic: A couple years ago I briefly dated a guy (whom revealed himself to be a Narcissistic Sociopath). Well I dumped him really quick when I realized he wasn't long-term material. To this day he still chases me and exemplifies creepy/stalker behaviors, lol. I think as women we can quite easily have the upper hand. Walk away as soon as they start acting different. Maintain high standards for how you expect to be treated. Eventually you'll meet an amazing person - so just create a fulfilling life until then 😄 💜
Alicja xo so true. I do this now to every guy. Soon as he's in, I show them that I like you but am too busy so take it or leave it. Omg men hate to be ignored. They come too strong.
🙌🏻 Amen to that!
Keep it moving forward
Had to walk away from guys who didn’t want the same thing and appreciate what I have to offer. It took me some time but I just chose to walk away from someone who said he doesn’t want relationship. I refuse to be a convenience, a second choice, side chick, almost relationship, all that. I’ve stuck around before with guys thinking he would change, and he didn’t. Now no matter how much it hurts or how much I think I like him or see potential , I will walk away .
Did they come back?
Right on time dude. This guy that I dated I hoped that he will commit I was so patient and it has been a year, now he was so depressed coz I told him we can’t see each other anymore because it’s going nowhere... he was so tortured that i was ignoring him etc. now he blocked me, now his friend told me that he’s just hurt from his past relationship. Well that’s not my Fckng problem. Everyone got their heart broken it’s part of life. I’m moving on and not looking back.
I don't get why your videos don't have more likes.
Your advice is so real, honest and upfront.
Thanks again?
Man you fucking nailed it!!!! There's a dude who's a fitness model and long story short we ended up meeting. He has a huge fan base and at first I was attracted just to his outside and he started treating me like I was a noone. I fell back but he keeps chasing, when I called him out on his shit he was upset. I was expecting him to not reach out again but he did and continues. I didn't really care if he did because I find him shallow and told him this. Now he's chasing and I can careless and he's annoying the shit outta me!!!!! He's using that plan B you speak of but honestly speaking he showed his ass and I don't like him!!!! Told him this shit and he's still after me! He calls me cold hearted. I to him he needs to humble himself, bottomline don't give a flying fuck what he does or has. I feel that's the only damn reason he's after me. It's like when you don't give a shit they wanna chase
This is gold- really needed this right now. Lack of options is my problem completely! The problem is I only come across a guy I am interested in very rarely and quality men are scarce.
Great video!! Thank you Elliot. No matter how much it hurts, I refuse to chase a guy, especially when I find out he was talking to other women, disappear, playing mind games, and trying to feed me bullshit.
I think a woman needs to develop this type of mindset. They need to stop letting their emotions get in the way of getting hurt, i do believe early on but either they ignore it or simply they are wat i called hooked on the guy they lose focus. Im just saying
I like that you’re out of the car😊
Some dude dated and broke up with me and after that still wanted to kiss me!!So when he leaned in, I slapped him across the face and said you really think you had a shot at playing me , I just beat you at your own game
It's so unfair that "caring too much" is such a disadvantage for women. I date to marry, not to play and have fun. I gave my all to the guy who agreed to commit and seemed so sure that we're already in a relationship, yet he still treated me so badly..
You're right about letting the guy SHOW first that he's interested in a relationship before I reciprocate the same thing. Some guys lie and manipulate, their actions don't match their words.. and it's on me for believing them. Thank you so much for the insight, it's such an eye-opener on how women usually think. It's really sad that the rational advice nowadays should be "I like you but I don't need you" and "don't give a shit". It's only after my second heartbreak I found this necessary.
This is the absolute truth!!! If women raised their standards the guys would rise to the occasion!! Men only put in the least required effort! Rise up women! Love this Elliot!! 💕
No they won't they will just replace you
It seems like we all go through the same problems. It never changes just gotta keep moving forward and stop being stuck.
I finally came to terms with the fact that I couldn't make him change, I told him either he gets it together or he leaves because either way i'm good. Now all of a sudden he's doing all the things I needed from him from the start, but honestly it's the consistency that I am concerned about. I feel like it may just be too little too late.
You're funny you have a great disposition
Your advice is so awesome! So on point. I wish we had these discussions in high school. Maybe my life would have been different.
Rita Turner your life is different now, it can be now.
This is the sweetest heartfelt video I ever saw. So honest. Straight to the point. Caring!
I loved it.
Thank you Elliot!
I needed this today because this guy I like tried to sweet talk me into giving him money. I told him no and he stormed out like a baby. He's the type that you can give him 100 and he will be broke and asking for more the next day. I'm starting to like him less and less.
I mboo You’re “starting to like him less and less?” That relationship should’ve ended immediately. There’s no gray area on that. He stormed out because you wouldn’t give him money. Omg.
So he's like a women
He's a user let em go
This sh*t is so accurate. I remember I used to take the beating ALL the time with my exes. He literally cheated on me 100x . He even brought a b*tch to my birthday party and was hooking up with her in front of me with a smile on his face. I ended up finding a new guy , LOL funny you mentioned that. And I got over him fairly quickly! I promised myself I will never be that girl that lets anyone do me wrong again. The new guys got cut off the minute I didn’t like something they did. I warn them usually that if they did so and so there is no second chances. So when I tell you ahead of time then you go do those very things.. YOURE CUT bc clearly ending it was what they wanted. They always have the victim mentality... how dare I cut them off for something horrible. 99% of the time they will try to turn it around on me. I LOVE when they do that. This guy im with now respects the f*ck outta me. We have been together for 6yrs strong never once has he done something that I’m aware of that I didn’t like. If I’m being honest he fears me but in the scared to lose me way. I remember once he went to his boys house but told me he was at his moms house.. I didn’t talk to him for a solid 2-3weeks & he was BEGGING for me nonstop. Something as little as that made him realize that I mean business. But he knows & I KNOW if he ever does me wrong idc about the 6yrs... he’s OUT
How's your relationship with him now?
ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN😉
Renee Taylor Bingo!
Act like a dude and be rude!!
If ANYONE has negative comments....keep it to yourself....the whole purpose is to HELP one another & build self-esteem😉. Negativity probably landed the pessimists right where they are. Have an AWESOME & BEAUTIFUL DAY ALL
You cant think like a man. If you could you wouldn't be here
Renee Taylor Livingstone waste of time!!!
Amazing advice Elliot. Never heard a coach talking reality from women’s point
Of view … lovely !! Plz keep doing more 😊
My #1 rule of advice for my daughter as she was growing up was.... Boys are not going to inherently treat you well... You as a women have to Demand How To be treated
nutt1051 you’re a great mom!
Well yes...and then men realize what they lost at age around 40+ ..when they see that spreading options left them alone, feeling alone and thinking about committing suicide.
They deserved it!
True lol
Elliot I don't know what video I watched of yours but you recommended to have a "don't give a crap mindset". I walked away and come to find out I was being emotionally abused. So thank you so much for your advice and tips. I couldn't see the red flags. I just knew it was messing with my mind, didn't feel good and I was in emotional pain. This was only a 3 month interaction. I can only imagine if it had gone longer. He is a 55 year old devout catholic man. Ladies beware.
Elliot, how do we master the "I like you but don't need you"?
When my ex broke up with me I told him I had plenty of options and I chose him!
And he lost his s***
Imagine telling a dude “he was chosen from a list of options”
Geez he was butt hurt!
Jasmine there always butt hurt to big of an ego
I like you but I don't need you...has really helped me. I had stopped meditation and yoga but plan on going back to the lDGAF me. It kept me safe and much happier!
I hate to admit this but he's right. I've seen time and time again; this great woman, great Mom, and great body after having a kid, and these guys treat them like crap and then leave them. I'm glad he's willing to tell women to treat a guy like a dog. People have called my Mom an absolute b****. She and my Dad have been married for over 50 years. She's on him all the time about everything. She's trained him well from the beginning--she's a strong personality who is only like 5'4". My Dad is 6' tall and she is so bossy, but it works. She has a very high morale code and it's still her way or the highway. :)
i love u, 'cause you're basically teaching women how to be gangsta
Abusive situations can be addictive, because they make you feel strong emotions. And intense sexual relationships are sometimes easy to fall into over and over again. Sometimes you can tell a person over and over again to stop being with a person who is abusing them and they won't do it. If you want to help them you have to give them an alternative, to the intensity they experience in those relationships. Something that gives them confidence that doesn't involve that partner, like exercise and personal development, and community support. You have to treat a person in an abusive situation like you would a person who has a physical addiction to anything. Because it's an addiction.
Just told the guy I've been seeing this exact thing, "I like you, but I don't need you." right to his face before I even came across this video lol I think he was flabbergasted by that
Honest talk. I have learned so much from Elliot. Thank you. May God continue to bless you so you can continue helping women get out of bad relationships and realizing they are their worth.❤
I am so blessed I have seen trough this game in 2 weeks only. Imagine if I had let this guy do what he has done for years. Saying he wants to be with you, and wants to be in a relationship with you, and he says that he is sorry - those are just words. If your gut feeling and his actions are saying differently. Block him, on to the next one. I am so blessed to not be afraid of losing the wrong guy.
You are like the good reliable friend who can call us on our wrongdoings, telling the hard truth, that's hard to hear but so helpful!
Some of us have attachment issues. Ladies, if you’re one of those you don’t have to cut them off completely. Just distance yourself and alternate between being warm and cold. Stop being warm all the time! And I know it’s hard but it’s a lot easier than going cold turkey. And who knows, most likely you’ll re attract the guy cuz if you have attachment issues you lost him due to neediness or his interest. So distance yourself. Like him but don’t need him ;)
You talked about the exact problem that my relationship had! The guy I was in a relationship with for 3 years did the exact same thing of going and coming back...Thankyou so much.Now I know where the problem was.I owe you tons of thanks XX 💗
I have been binging on your videos for two days and can’t thank you enough for all your help. It’s like you’re my virtual big brother teaching me everything I have done wrong in the past and area helping me so much finding my value and rebuilding myself! Elliot, you are my hero!!!
Sooo....date those that you're not attracted to but have potential to take care of you. If he treats you fine, love will grow.
chilloften SheraSeven1 says the same thing...its weird to me though, have to practice...lol I automatically screw my face up, I know i have to change.
That's what I did... Now he treats me like shit, worse than anyone had ever done. It eventually happens if you marry them.
Liz Sampaio watch SheraSeven1 's channel...your probably doing something wrong.
Same!!
IamKarryanne I love her! She is so right, otherwise you get involved emotionally up front and it has NEVER worked out for me.
Women have a biological clock and don’t have the time that makes it more important
Omfg... I love you. Hahaha. You crack me up how you explain things, BUT it is SO accurate. Love the no BS straight forward approach and verbage you have. Been watching your videos recently and working on getting that attitude/mind set you keep urging all of us women to have. The small changes I've been making have definitely helped me feel better.
Thanks for the empowerment, sir :)
Elliott, this is one of your BEST videos yet! Thank you for all that you do for we women who benefit from your wisdom and balls to give it to us straight!
YES I've been waiting for thissss
Your hair is super cute love your videos your a ray of sunshine ☀️
You’re the best!! You make me laugh at how pathetic we are and how we let others play us. Love your videos!!!
Key word is "I want you in my life but I don't need you." So self powering and let's him decide what to do next. No strings attached just choices.
I have a hard time understanding why guys come across as either unattainable, or have the attitude that they can have any woman they want, therefore they can drag things out and for some women it becomes too much work and they end up dumping him. Who wants to hang around while he goes through his women's list. Just sayin'
Exactly 👏
I love your advice!!! I will do it asap! I wont give a damn anymore!
That's how I feel and let me tell you it's taking me a very very long time to get to this point
Preach Elliot! Love your videos😊
I love your videos really. Especially this one. Keep up scott!👍👍👍🤝👍
The problem is when we don't like a guy , we can say I like you but don't need you. But when we fall for a guy we become weak & take shit cuz love blinds us , and don't wanna lose that guy. That is the whole problem. Love your videos , and I love your advices 😊❣️
Your hair looks awesome like this and only now I have noticed your beautiful blue eyes....keep it up! Thanks for a great advice!
I dealth with a narcissist. At this point I won’t go back ever. He disrespected me so much and has no empathy
“you’re standing there like a piñata” 😂
Ive been dating a guy who was great the first 2-3 weeks and after that he just stopped working for it and acted like i was already in the pocket. I do not appreciate the way he treats me, as if im an option instead of a priority. And apparently he is so full of himself that he blames me for everything he did wrong. He even went as far as to test me by not telling me he left for a few days? Test me for what exactly? Thanks for this video! I will put on a i dont give a shit mindset and move on 👍
Amazing!!! You are the first coach that switched my mindset. And thanks for the things that other coaches out there never reveals.
The funny thing is when guys talk to other girls (and they definitely do) but expect you not to talk to other guys. We spoke about this with other guy friends and it's so true. Why do guys think it's ok to flirt with other women / date them, but they want women not to do the same. Many guys told me this.
I completely agree. I always speak up when I am upset with a guy because he's pulling away, going back on promises he made regarding dates etc...it happened a lot in the past and even if the guy is not a jerk, men tend to pull away quite often for various reasons.
But as a girl who has spoken up when upset, I have to say it also backfired on me because they either saw me as high maintenance or too needy or too critical or making a lot of drama out of things.... so it always backfired because the truth is guys also don't like women who confront them and if they can't please a woman, they tend to go for what is easier and they go find a woman who actually accepts what they do and how they do things and have an easy life with her. I saw that happen too.
And...I did't even say 'fuck you, get out of here' etc..lol so yeah, I actually had to learn to not be so open with what displeases me and start playing mind games, pull away, tease, pretend I am not upset... the sad truth is that communicating openly with the guy EXACTLY how you feel is something that can backfire. Manipulative women (the very subtle, calculated ones) get to be more valued and respected than the ones who say 'I am disappointed,you didn't do this, I can't believe you said that'... these women that are successful in relationships tends to conceal their real emotions or intentions and play mind games and sadly it seems to be the best thing to work with men
I loved this video, but I loved your comment even more. You describe perfectly how manipulative women seem to have great success when it comes to relationships with men. And you helped me realize that Elliott who talks about indifferent women and how they can handle their relationships better ( "treat him like a dog" and "I like you, but don't need you"), in fact, to mens' ears and eyes is the SAME approach as the ones who are manipulative towards their men and always act with strategy. So, sadly I am now convienced that in order to make a relationship work and your man to value you, you ve got to either be not so interested in the guy from the beginning, or be a manipulative woman who never loses her temper and always calculate things. I just wish there was a medium stage, where the woman could really talk about her worries & the man to pay attention, listen to her & doesn't repeat the same mistakes. Otherwise, I feel like a relationship consumes too much mental energy & by including any kind of strategy and by forbiding your spontaneity with your man, you create a not so real relationship. I though men liked real women who shared their opinions openly with them! I guess their ego plays a huge part in the relationship & perhaps this is what allows indifferent and manipulative women to win over in the end.
Actually I noticed that when speak up to him what is is that I don't like, for example "I haven't heard from you all day" , than he actually text me more or tries to repair the situation. When i don't say anything he doesn't know.
Out all responses, this is the most accurate I’ve seen on any forum! I totally agree with you! Both men I just dealt with went back to their seemingly doormat exes, but they were calculating women who were extremely manipulative and never confronted their men.
I am always confrontational, just like the video recommended, and end up losing the guy- so I think not voicing concerns is the best way to go, sadly. I just don’t know how to master being manipulative yet, and I have no idea how these women didn’t let their emotions get to them.
This is true...guys like when you don't care🙄
True!!
We don’t all just talk to one guy either!!! I speak to a minimum of 3 at all times.
You are my favourite dating coach 😘 these are some real good points he's making
I just want him to leave me alone. Like f off waaaaayyyyyy over there, yo. I changed my phone number, blocked him from everything. Hes showing up at my door now. Crying and apologizing. We never even slept together, just one month of dating and now 8 months of his begging for me to take him back. NO WAY! He's a lieing, unemployed, no driver's license or car, thieving, cheating, drama diva. Besides a restraining order, how do I get him to go away!
I think it's when you just want love and I'm not saying I don't love myself but definitely a lack of options. We just settle cause there is quite literally no one out there or at least it feels that way. But deep down we know somethings up. Or we want things immediately and don't want to be alone
Elliott you are so right on with all your advice. I thought I was in an exclusive stable loving relationship but it was long distance and you were exactly right he was cheating on me while I was being faithful. ☹️
Kerry F same! The guy left me for his coworker and the worst part is he feels nothing about it
Thank you great information! Ladies do yourself a favor and talk to other guys until the guy you want commits.
Simple as that💯👌
I like your videos. You tell the truth. Thats what women truly need to hear. It's helped me.
Ellie, I think what you're trying to say is that we shouldn't put all our eggs in one basket...that's probably the term you meant by spreading themselves thinner...I TOTALLY agree! and we put TOO MUCH on the outcome instead of focusing on fun & attraction! Thanks Ellie!
Yes, women should be united!!! There is so much truth in your words.
THANK YOU’ your so frank and honest! Your one of the reasons why I really don’t care anymore when it comes to relationships! It’s TRUE’ you CANT CARE SO MUCH! EVEN A LITTLE TINCEY BIT! I’ve learned to do my own thing and don’t even dare get upset about it ANYMORE
After him investing 10 hours with me total since the end of July because allegedly working 60 hours per week, I told him when he will have more time for me to contact me and catch me if he can. Not exactly a formal goodbye but it's almost official, I'm almost sure he will take it this way. What the f*k with men, I tend to think with my experience that a lot of them are children in the kindergarten. I don't have time to poo poo train him.
You are 100% right! The ONLY way someone can hurt you, manipulate you, or use you is if you allow them to. YOU and only you, are in control of your own feelings and reactions. You have to make that conscious decision to not allow their actions to affect you..... That whole " I can't help how I feel "...is BULLSHIT! YOUR THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP HOW YOU FEEL!
💯 True!
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down 😝😂😂
Are you also searching?
Thank You!
😂
PREACH ELLIOTT PREACH!❤💚💜💙💛❤💚💜💙💛
Now thats what i call a "real talking" 😎👍🔥
You are a 100% right !! So I listened to you , I just dumped my Hot Babe !! Feels really good ! Even if he crawls back to me , I will be very reluctant to take him back !! Thanks for your advice!!
This works, my ex keeps wanting to hangout and dig a little deeper into how I feel because of the way he texts me & I keep my answers very vague & with an air of “I’m not interested in a relationship right now/I’m living my life and going with it” & he keeps coming back, texting, asking to hangout etc ...