I think these are jokes cause first is lieing racist second person is he’s like my rapist friend third is can’t believe how dumb he would be if dummer If they jokes okay I love Bert jokes but if you guys are serious that sucks I think he’s actually nice and great friend and dad funny good comedian and thinks he can do way more than he can witch is hilarious but did run a marathon with no training ad beat Aris dad who does it all year and Bert no trading beat by hour and wasn’t bad time fucked up his feet tho
Bert would’ve had to get prescribed antibiotics, tetanus/rabies shot for a bat bite in Costa Rica. Filming Leeann’s buzz was only to take the light off his alcoholism denial. #Comedy
This is one of the best podcast out. These two together makes me laugh my ass off. People at work thinks I'm a little crazy cause I'll have my earbuds in and will randomly start dying laughing. They make a 12hr work day go by quick
@@danielboone542 agreed, the look on Tom's face when he said "things would go alot differently if someone arrived at my house" was priceless. If Tom commited murder I would laugh because the signs were everywhere
Gavin Thompson signs you’re an alcoholic: you brag about how many sober days you have when you drank 3 beers yesterday. Signs you’re an alcoholic: you don’t count 3 beers as drinking.
@What Are You On About It is indicative of our childishness to be so fascinated with sugar (alcohol), rather than salty escargot or caviar? Salty: the snob's flavor of choice.
Regardin the Adele thing. Look at it like this: Imagine you have a Nice house. It has a nice garden, tasteful interior decorations and a good color scheme across the House. One day, you decide "I want to change this." And you go trough and you redo the garden, you repaint every room, rip out the hardwood flooring and get a new style, get recessed lamps in every room, redo your wiring so its all "Hidden" cabling. Finished with your project and invite your friends over to look and they go: "It looked good before why did you change it?" how much of a fucking GUT PUNCH is that? You worked fucking hard for this, you're proud of your change. Just because you are proud of the change doesn't mean it didn't look good before. And just because I say "Oh wow this amazing! It looks really really good!" Is not a slight against how it looked before, nor is it a slap in the face for those who remodeled their house to make it look exactly like yours did just before. It's Acknowledging that Effort yielded result. And that Result was a good one.
"You exaggerate stories so much that even when you tell the truth they get cut in 1/2, it's your fault." "No it's not" "How long have you been sober?" "Let me see. Man, I got no pushback from AA people for last week, none." "Yes, you did." "Yeah, I didn't actually read the comments."
About fucking time. This podcast might lowkey be Tom's long con to getting Bert to deal with his issues. Bert's an idiot addict and can be hilarious at times; and Tom loves him, wants to spend time with him, and wants the best in life for him.
Bert should just sell the house and go secluded like Rogan did. No matter if people have good intentions, no one and I mean no one should be going to someone’s house if they don’t actually know them in life or have prior business there. Who listens to podcasts and thinks, “let’s go to that guys house because we are friends now!”
Bert made a career by not having boundaries with fans, this is a natural fallout. But yes, ppl asking his daughters if they can meet him is extra invasive
Ricky I hear you man, it’s tough. I’ve been sober for 69 out of 420 days. I smoked a little heroin yesterday to help me sleep, but I don’t really count that as long as it’s less than 1 gram a day because I have a really high tolerance. It’s cool tho, opioids are only in your system for like a few days after you quit and then my body will be back to normal.
i love how tom tells the story of the dude blasting the other guy in the ass with brass knuckles and you know hes having a vivid memory of the instant pain from the punch when he starts giggling lol
I bet Bert heard the first 6 words of the story and then interrupted so that he could tell his own far less interesting story that's not really true or related to the original story.
@@aroff595 Omg! I was chased by a dog the other week, yeah I saw this wolf eyeing me and then it charged and I thought fuck I can't fight a mountain lion, so I ran down the road but bears can run downhill very fast so I hid in this alley but the tiger found me!
@@sirforsa or maybe the way covid-19 patients have to avoid everyone they avoid looking him up? That's meeting him more than halfway on that poorly worded joke though.
I love you guys. I've rewatched every Netflix special more times than I can count and I still laugh like it's the first time. Putting these guys together is pure fucking gold. I just found this video today and I get the feeling I'm going to be pulling an all nighter to watch all the previous episodes. Thanks motherfuckers, I appreciate you!
Well thats the reason Im here because they seem like friends that have a good time. If you force timelimit on speaking it wouldnt feel good anymore. If I wanna see more of Tom Im watching the normal Podcast or just watch his Shows.
I felt like this podcast was just an attempt to make Bert talk himself into trouble. Tom would set up controversial topics knowing Bert is going to say the wrong thing every time. It made me wonder if Tom was actually his friend.
@@421less1 I'm pretty sure you can't call people like Bert alcoholics. He loves booze, so do I and so do alot of people. Also if you are 49 days sober of 51 I'd say that's pretty good not even I can do that.
@@sirweebs2914 im not saying anything about you or trying to disrespect anyone who likes a beer, but i would be pretty confident putting money on bert drinking his ass off and gaining some weight once hes touring again. Also hes a notorious binge drinker which is another form of alcoholism. The way he treats himself with it as a reward, the fact he drinks in every single airport, even his "49 sober days" hes been taking a bunch of zanax. Go back and listen to earlier episodes. Also, he just admitted to lying and stretching stories. You honestly believe he was sober for 49 days? Im still a fan of the guy but i wouldn't use him as a measuring stick for a healthy relationship with alcohol.
Always a good game to let Bert say how many days he thinks he hasn't drank and then remove a sober day from the total as he just talks himself into a corner.
One of his daughters had to air out her room with open windowsor candles or something because she said it smelled like feet. Since she hadn't showered in like a week and had been wearing the same sweats all day everyday. During quarantine. poor Leanne.
Knowing what we know now - these old podcasts are so fun to listen too again like time-travel ...., "Ila, mom's wasted, come in here - she's set off the alarm." Bert having 2 young daughters is perfect for this insane podcast. Bed time is secret time.
I love both of you guys!!! Just listening to y’all makes me crack up laughing! If When I’m in a bad mood I start looking for y’all’s podcast and y’all always cheer me up! I’ll just be walking around work with my headphones in and I’m just laughing so hard my coworkers are just looking at me lmao! And don’t let negative people bring you down. Because you got a sh*t load of people that love you guys!!! So keep doing what ya doing cause it’s awesome!!!!!
Symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder: -Exhibitionist behavior -Constant seeking of reassurance or approval -Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval -Pride of own personality and unwillingness to change, viewing any change as a threat -Using factitious somatic symptoms (of physical illness) or psychological disorders to garner attention -A need to be the center of attention -Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification -Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others -Making rash decisions -Being overly dramatic and emotional -Being easily influenced by others, especially those who treat them approvingly
Steve Thomas it sounds like his mom certainly had the disorder, and these things are often passed from parent to child. I’d like to see what Tom and Bert think
Bert: "I haven't said anything racist for 25 days." Tom: "Didn't you say something racist yesterday?" Bert : "I don't count that one, or the one I said the week before."
"I've wanted to smoke a cigar this whole quarantine so badly, but I won't." Forgets that there's video evidence of him smoking a cigar on the JRE. And he wonders why his kids don't believe anything he says 🤷🏻♂️
Nadav not being able to google or zoom in on a picture and infuriating Tommy Bunz is my new favorite aspect of this show.
Tom is completely justified being mad.
Lol they go at him so hard. On ymh to haha
Types "shaved head"
That Nadav, always trying to stay ahead of the conversation.
YUP!!!!
ITS HIS JOB
We need a 10mg Tom and 3 Beer Bert episode.
Mason Lee let’s just skip straight to the coke
3 beer Bert? Lol what’s that going to do.
Yeah, Bert should really cut back on the booze!
Bert always has 3 beers in him
You mean 6 Beer Bert, he exaggerates down when it comes to how much he drinks
Im thinking of applying for Nadav's job, here is my resume: Skills: Can Google
That was so funny and edgy
Can you zoom as well?
Phillip Khan I can google better than that guy
Shaved head...
Hire him
Bert: "What is..NO NO NO... I don't want to see this!"
Tom: "Make it bigger."
*Zooms out*
Tom yelling at computer guy is like a parent trying to teach his kid math
Jew guy*
Omg! Lol lmao. Perfect
“No backlash from the AA people. None.” “Well I didn’t look that hard” Bert is truly one of a kind😂
Megan O’Neill nah I have a friend just like him except he’s like about to be 20 but friend hops and we would say he’s a rapist instead of a racist
Also him talking about feeling dumber when he works out. Can't imagine what that would look like XD
I think these are jokes cause first is lieing racist second person is he’s like my rapist friend third is can’t believe how dumb he would be if dummer If they jokes okay I love Bert jokes but if you guys are serious that sucks I think he’s actually nice and great friend and dad funny good comedian and thinks he can do way more than he can witch is hilarious but did run a marathon with no training ad beat Aris dad who does it all year and Bert no trading beat by hour and wasn’t bad time fucked up his feet tho
@Kim Hightower because he wouldn't marry you...
@Kim Hightower You don't have enough value for him to take notice of you let alone marry you.
😂 dad is having one of his ‘not days in a row’ right now
pretty cool that they've almost done 30 episodes of "1 bear talks the whole time and 1 mostly just listens"
Hahahahaa
Trueee 😆😆😆
Yeah. Most dual hosted podcasts are like this tho...
Yeah it's fucking terrible
Michael Mroz maybe for you, but I feel like Tom loves getting Bert going.
"Hahaha, I'm aware of the things you hide."
That's a friend.
Did the “Bert” drinking game for once, Barely got home. Good drive though.
Just remember, if you don't drink two days in a row, you didn't drink.
Just tell the cop, I didn’t drink yesterday and I don’t plan on drinking tomorrow, so I in fact am not drunk today.
Lol
Omg that barley got home is so good🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fuck yeah I love this reasoning. Didn't take any pills yet today, so obviously I'm not an addict! Wow that was so easy
"I'm not an alcoholic!"
Talks about how much they love booze in 29 straight podcasts.
Bert has two topics he discusses:
1. "I'm not an alcoholic, I just really like to drink and I can't stop"
2. "One time I was fucking hammered..."
Long Shlong Silvers hahah so accurate
Bro this fucking guy lol.
“I’ve been sober for 45 days...”
2 minutes later
“Oh ya I had 2 drinks with Rogen last week.”
Like wtf lmaoooooooo
Give Bert a break. He's nearly 50 days sober even though he drank last night and then 3 days before that and 3 days before that....
This week on Bart trying to convince himself he's not an alcoholic
I mean he is doing pretty good, if he's able to just occasionally have alcohol in moderation I don't think it's a problem
@@Christian-oi7sd ok. Keep making Fake accounts Bert. To promote your sober living 👌
And or gay
This show is literally just Bert Kreischer trying to convince everyone he isn't an alcoholic or a liar.
Don't forget interrupting and calling people the wrong names.
Yeah it's fantastic
Bert would’ve had to get prescribed antibiotics, tetanus/rabies shot for a bat bite in Costa Rica.
Filming Leeann’s buzz was only to take the light off his alcoholism denial.
#Comedy
Mary Callahan the same way a child changes the conversation when they’re in trouble
liiiteraaaalllyyyyy
todds eyes went into murder mode when he found out people are coming to barts house
This is one of the best podcast out. These two together makes me laugh my ass off. People at work thinks I'm a little crazy cause I'll have my earbuds in and will randomly start dying laughing. They make a 12hr work day go by quick
Same here man, I work 12hr night shifts and 2B1C is on steady rotation.
This is Tom Segura's most psychopathic project to date: The Documentation of the Implosion of Bert Kreisher
@@glenndowdle2280 From alcoholism and stardom to alcoholism and divorce*
If you watch Episode 1, you'll know exactly what was on Tom's mind. Hilarious.
When Nadav couldn't zoom in, I was honestly laughing my ass off lol.
Companies must be so excited when bert reads their ad reads cause they get a 4 minute ad
Long as they aren't sticlklers for enunciation
Lmao! I was thinkin the same thing...his lisp cracks me up!!
These podcast are going to be used in the Netflix documentary special: Machine Malfunction - The Bert Kreischer Story.
I think Beige Frequency is working on one
Or a documentary about Tom snapping and killing people.
@@PageShearling that was my first thought too...tom before the killing spree
"Wait so he posted all of this material HIMSELF? Like nobody had to wear a wire around him to get this audio?"
@@PageShearling who do you think is first? lol
You guys honestly help my depression in a major way. Thank you
This show is basically Bert interviewing himself, and Tom occasionally telling him he's insane.
I mean thats what makes it so amazing though, just bert's insane personality and mindset makes Tom seem like a normal human being xD
Noah Marchais or, Tom’s dark psychotic undertones make Bert’s hyperbole relatable.
Btw....
@@danielboone542 agreed, the look on Tom's face when he said "things would go alot differently if someone arrived at my house" was priceless. If Tom commited murder I would laugh because the signs were everywhere
It evens out, forst half is berts the second half is tom 👍🏼
I love how bad of an influence Tom is to Bert. “ You should totally start dipping”
He gaslights like crazy
This feels like a bert therapy session but the therapist is making fun of him.
this is the most accurate representation of this podcast
But at least they have fun with it. The real therapy session is every time he goes on Rogan's podcast
Tom would make a hilarious therapist
First time? :) This is most if Bert's content. Lol
Honestly if i had a therapist that just talked mad shit i might actually keep going to therapy.
The control room guys laughing in the background makes this so much more fun.
Its a laugh track but genuine. It verifies how funny it is
@Kristie C its literally what i said. it's genuinely blueban dying over there, but serves the purpose laugh tracks does in sitcoms
Bert was 100% the kid who talked to the teacher to make them forget about collecting homework
uh hundred percent
The Bert who cried wolf.
The Bert who cried bat!
The bert who burnt the cross with the white robes
signs you're an alcoholic: you can't share a single beer with your wife when you have 3. Come on, Bart!
Gavin Thompson signs you’re an alcoholic: you brag about how many sober days you have when you drank 3 beers yesterday.
Signs you’re an alcoholic: you don’t count 3 beers as drinking.
Signs you're an alcoholic: you think Berts name is Bart.
Alcoholics go to meetings
@@ryanspringer3311 Because a beer buzz is not the same as administering a typical overdose of alcohol. s/
@What Are You On About It is indicative of our childishness to be so fascinated with sugar (alcohol), rather than salty escargot or caviar? Salty: the snob's flavor of choice.
If Bert was a Care Bear his name would be "Bigot Bear"
He only eats one type of boxed dinner also. "Racist-A-Roni. That Klan members treat."
If Bert was a ben & jerrys flavor the name would be " Nutty Nazi "
If Bert was a fat, racist, misogynistic, midget-kicker; his name would be Britt Kringsler
😂
Bigot bear stare.
Bruce Chrysler: "I want to lose weight.. I'm f*$@ing tired of where I'm at"
One year later
Bret kershner: "I'm coming out.. as fat"
Regardin the Adele thing. Look at it like this:
Imagine you have a Nice house. It has a nice garden, tasteful interior decorations and a good color scheme across the House.
One day, you decide "I want to change this." And you go trough and you redo the garden, you repaint every room, rip out the hardwood flooring and get a new style, get recessed lamps in every room, redo your wiring so its all "Hidden" cabling. Finished with your project and invite your friends over to look and they go:
"It looked good before why did you change it?" how much of a fucking GUT PUNCH is that? You worked fucking hard for this, you're proud of your change. Just because you are proud of the change doesn't mean it didn't look good before. And just because I say "Oh wow this amazing! It looks really really good!" Is not a slight against how it looked before, nor is it a slap in the face for those who remodeled their house to make it look exactly like yours did just before. It's Acknowledging that Effort yielded result. And that Result was a good one.
Very well put mommy thank you
Do you really not have anything better to than write 4 paragraphs in a comment section of 2 bears 1 racist?
@@hunterthompson6295 during lockdown? Nope.
Thumb sore from scrolling.
Richard Ommundsen it all goes back to what my mom used to say to me, “most people are jealous”.
Ah yes, another episode where Bert interviews himself and Tom sits there.
It's such garbage now.
I actually screamed when I read this because it’s so true
And he's a raging bigot as well. Get help Bert, do it for your children.
Can he just tell you something tho?
It's the Xanax. Trust me. Makes you unaware and makes you feel more comfortable talking.
"You exaggerate stories so much that even when you tell the truth they get cut in 1/2, it's your fault."
"No it's not"
"How long have you been sober?"
"Let me see. Man, I got no pushback from AA people for last week, none."
"Yes, you did."
"Yeah, I didn't actually read the comments."
Doug Stanhope will probably out-live Bert Kreischer and Doug smokes about 60 cigarettes a day on top of all the drinking
apparently Bert lost his whoop-tracker by heiling the Fuhrer too quickly
Queensboro15 that actually made me laugh out loud 😂
And just like that you won the internet , congrats good sir.
Bert: “I exaggerate everything I say and I hide things”.... so you’re a liar ?? Lmao
15:20 omg cant believe Berts never talked about how clearly Georgia looks like him and Ila looks like Leanne lol...
I really hope this is the insane Tom from the last ymh episode.
Good to see a fellow intellectual
@@DTog1 I don't know if I can help in any way or not for a
@@NovasAPudgyPredator no
10mg Tom is good but vicious serial killer Tom RULES
@@DTog1 Its an acquired taste, but I just prefer my 'content creators' unmilked.
Time to get drunk! Let’s see how many times Bert touches his face!
Specifically his NOSE. Jeez Bert, how many years is your coke withdrawal going to last?
This episode: Bert admits that he constantly lies to get attention.
About fucking time. This podcast might lowkey be Tom's long con to getting Bert to deal with his issues. Bert's an idiot addict and can be hilarious at times; and Tom loves him, wants to spend time with him, and wants the best in life for him.
30 seconds after reading this, he admits it. I love that kind of timing.
and is surprised why his family is lenient to believe him
@@Patrick.Weightman do you mean hesitant?
@@micarl yos
Bert should just sell the house and go secluded like Rogan did. No matter if people have good intentions, no one and I mean no one should be going to someone’s house if they don’t actually know them in life or have prior business there. Who listens to podcasts and thinks, “let’s go to that guys house because we are friends now!”
Bert made a career by not having boundaries with fans, this is a natural fallout. But yes, ppl asking his daughters if they can meet him is extra invasive
That dude who burst out laughing in the background makes everything 100 times funnier lol !
I relapsed after Bert described that beer. I was 13 out of 5 days sober.
Bryce Cap 58% sober ain’t not half bad
I haven't had a drink in ten years. On those days when I get the urge to drink I smoke weed and take some hydrocodone to get me by.
Ricky I hear you man, it’s tough. I’ve been sober for 69 out of 420 days. I smoked a little heroin yesterday to help me sleep, but I don’t really count that as long as it’s less than 1 gram a day because I have a really high tolerance. It’s cool tho, opioids are only in your system for like a few days after you quit and then my body will be back to normal.
@@ryanspringer3311 Smoke heroin? Is that the same thing as smoking opium? God I want to go to a nice opium den in 18th century China.
I literally only ever drink at might. Only ever had a drink at might time for over 5 years. No problem in my life. Where is it that you guys struggle?
This Pod should be called Two Fat Dudes Laugh Till They Cough.
They need to get Joey Diaz on the show to cover the bases
Bears implied they're big gay dudes
I swear to god if Bert over takes this podcast again he is going to get the poutine.
I swear to god if your comments gets more likes than mine. Ill tattoo Pig on your wrinkly 4head. Then ill have Norm take ya for a walk.
Yeah man, at this point you've gotta think he's pretty much a complete narcissist. Let Tom speak!!!
It’s at the perfect number of likes 69 😂
Pootine
i love how tom tells the story of the dude blasting the other guy in the ass with brass knuckles and you know hes having a vivid memory of the instant pain from the punch when he starts giggling lol
21:35 "you have permission" i lost it
Bert “I remember walking by a bush and feeling a little prick on my leg” Kreischer
I bet Bert heard the story of the boy who cried wolf and thought "It's not his fault!"
I bet Bert heard the first 6 words of the story and then interrupted so that he could tell his own far less interesting story that's not really true or related to the original story.
@@aroff595 Omg! I was chased by a dog the other week, yeah I saw this wolf eyeing me and then it charged and I thought fuck I can't fight a mountain lion, so I ran down the road but bears can run downhill very fast so I hid in this alley but the tiger found me!
Bert thinks his children don't know he drinks....dude they have cellphones
And brains. Kids may be stupid, but they aint dumb.
@@sirforsa They're *Bert's* kids, though...
@Zac Crow So covid victims usually avoid googling their dads? Wut?
@@sirforsa or maybe the way covid-19 patients have to avoid everyone they avoid looking him up? That's meeting him more than halfway on that poorly worded joke though.
Bert thinks his 16 year old didn't understand what she was implying when she played fuck marry kill with her friends
The laughter in the background had me absolutely dieing 😂💀
I love you guys. I've rewatched every Netflix special more times than I can count and I still laugh like it's the first time. Putting these guys together is pure fucking gold. I just found this video today and I get the feeling I'm going to be pulling an all nighter to watch all the previous episodes. Thanks motherfuckers, I appreciate you!
2 Bears, 1 Talks
More like one needs to stfu
Bert “while I was drinking a cold one the other night but been sober for 49 days” Kreischer
If they don't confirm what joke was the 'trifecta" I'm gonna flip my shit
Someone uploaded the most likely answer to TH-cam already
It's the starbucks bits. Bert is the first guy in line, tom is behind him, then delia is last
Delia never has a punchline so if you find one that's the end
It was posted in netflixisajoke ? I know I saw it somewhere.
I can’t see Tom agreeing to a gimmick like that. It’s so lame.
I love how the end is just Bert suffering while Tom sits there and watches 1 man 1 jar
It's so random lol
I hope when things open back up, Tom and Bert do a live podcast tour. Would buy immediately.
Bert should have a timer on his mic so it’s not him talking about himself the whole show
Coyote definitely been an over saturation of Bert on the interwebs!
Which one is Bert?
G The Entity Beef Clarkson is the fat racist one
Well thats the reason Im here because they seem like friends that have a good time. If you force timelimit on speaking it wouldnt feel good anymore.
If I wanna see more of Tom Im watching the normal Podcast or just watch his Shows.
I felt like this podcast was just an attempt to make Bert talk himself into trouble. Tom would set up controversial topics knowing Bert is going to say the wrong thing every time. It made me wonder if Tom was actually his friend.
"When you're skinny you look different." -Bert having a galaxy brain moment.
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
Tom is low-key Bert’s therapist
doubles as his therapist/bad influence
its great!
"Annette" holy shit that was funny.
Ahh well i like Toms honesty over berts "craving acceptance"
am i the only one who thinks its weird how Bert shares so many intimate moments of his wife and kids??
Hes an alcoholic comedian on quarantine lol. Thats all hes drawing from lol
@@421less1 I'm pretty sure you can't call people like Bert alcoholics. He loves booze, so do I and so do alot of people. Also if you are 49 days sober of 51 I'd say that's pretty good not even I can do that.
@@sirweebs2914 im not saying anything about you or trying to disrespect anyone who likes a beer, but i would be pretty confident putting money on bert drinking his ass off and gaining some weight once hes touring again. Also hes a notorious binge drinker which is another form of alcoholism.
The way he treats himself with it as a reward, the fact he drinks in every single airport, even his "49 sober days" hes been taking a bunch of zanax. Go back and listen to earlier episodes.
Also, he just admitted to lying and stretching stories. You honestly believe he was sober for 49 days? Im still a fan of the guy but i wouldn't use him as a measuring stick for a healthy relationship with alcohol.
Dude have you watched his specials? That’s like 95% of his material.
@@jamisons9971 secret time!
I see Bert gain and lose weight so much that when hes skinny my brain glances over it and assumes hes still fat
Hes never been skinny for the last 5 years that ivr followed him. He has veen skinnier but never in a healthy amount sadly
It's because he's the fattest man on the planet. even when he loses weight he's still the fattest man on the planet. God bless 🙏.
29 Episodes in and Bert is still sticking to the "Pool Bath" guns. Cant help but be impressed by that level of commitment.
"The morning beer" like it's completely natural for every human on the planet to know the feeling of having a drink at 9am.
Always a good game to let Bert say how many days he thinks he hasn't drank and then remove a sober day from the total as he just talks himself into a corner.
@bkstacker 247 A little punctuation goes a long way my man. It's a little hard to follow without it lol
@@oryan4395 he's being bert
Leo O'Ryan he’s drunk commenting rn lol
I drink everyday. Two years ago I went 31 days straight sober. Falling asleep was the hardest and the anxiety from not drinking.
@bkstacker 247 Have you taken edibles? I hear good things, especially about microdosing to aid transitioning away from alcohol..
Every 2 bears episode now- Bert: Bullshit story / monologue.... Tom: Yeah.
Tom is the devil. "It'll probably hurt less if you just cut it off." I was shocked.
Are we schocked though? I knew he was a lunatic.
"How long have you been sober?"
"49 out of 51 days." -- The great Bert Kreischer everyone.
this was a really nice episode. i like tom's stories
49 days sober yet he opens the podcast with a story of having a cold beer and getting hit with a dog😂😂
The background people laughing their asses off whenever Brent says something is arguably my favorite part of these podcasts
@@leopercara3477 are we having a semantic word fight right now!?
@@leopercara3477 we can go as dark as you want. Ill feed you your own French Canadian Poutine
The real question about Adele is,”where did all the skin go?”
Garth has it now...
@justkidding replaced Avril with what?
#MoneyfixAllProblems lmao
Nathan Brown solid question
1:19:24 to 1:19:30 pretty much sums up this entire podcast. What a bunch of legends
3BeerBert & 10mgTom .. Bring it to the cave!! 🐻
I love that Bert thinks he's in the same league as Adele..I mean Annette
Its Bad when Bert's children have to tell him jumping into the pool for a second. Isn't equivalent to a bath.
One of his daughters had to air out her room with open windowsor candles or something because she said it smelled like feet. Since she hadn't showered in like a week and had been wearing the same sweats all day everyday. During quarantine. poor Leanne.
@@kjcorder she married the Racist and popped 2 kids out. Sounds like she signed the Waiver.
3:16 for intro, 3:53 for episode.
edit: 38:05 for first, 1:04:34 for second.
Hes a time-stamp hero, with stars in his eyes
Knowing what we know now - these old podcasts are so fun to listen too again like time-travel
...., "Ila, mom's wasted, come in here - she's set off the alarm." Bert having 2 young daughters is perfect for this insane podcast. Bed time is secret time.
56:59 you can see the exact moment Bert realizes Tom is a psychopath.
Bert can be fun but he takes up so much conversational space. I wish it was more of a give and take since, you know, Tom is funnier.
Sarah Petrova. I’d love to see the stats, I think Bert accounts for about 80% of words spoken on this podcast.
I would give every 5 minutes Bert talks for 1 minute of Tom
They are both pretty hilarious. Both have different types of funny
I bet Tom has told Brent that fight story 5-6 times & Brent just didn’t listen
I hope Tom makes more money on ad reads than Bert.
Well the whole channel is his so I’m sure he’s doing okay
BeerCaveTech the joke, my friend is that Bert can’t read.
I assume they share revenue on the vids for 2bears1cave as yt revenue is video specific.
Chad Will
This guy gets it. Chad level: 100
Chad Will Much appreciated, master of Chads. However I am aware the joke was referring to Bert’s reading (or talking in general) ability.
Tom looks like this isn't the first time he's worn black latex gloves if you know what I mean.
I love both of you guys!!! Just listening to y’all makes me crack up laughing! If When I’m in a bad mood I start looking for y’all’s podcast and y’all always cheer me up! I’ll just be walking around work with my headphones in and I’m just laughing so hard my coworkers are just looking at me lmao! And don’t let negative people bring you down. Because you got a sh*t load of people that love you guys!!! So keep doing what ya doing cause it’s awesome!!!!!
Symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder:
-Exhibitionist behavior
-Constant seeking of reassurance or approval
-Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval
-Pride of own personality and unwillingness to change, viewing any change as a threat
-Using factitious somatic symptoms (of physical illness) or psychological disorders to garner attention
-A need to be the center of attention
-Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification
-Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others
-Making rash decisions
-Being overly dramatic and emotional
-Being easily influenced by others, especially those who treat them approvingly
Holy shit
Huh, you a doctor?
Shit, man, you could be on to something there
Steve Thomas it sounds like his mom certainly had the disorder, and these things are often passed from parent to child. I’d like to see what Tom and Bert think
Someone should animate the “1 guy beats up 7 guys” story
Bert last episode: 43/45 days sober
Bert *drinks three beers*
Bert this episode: 49/51 days sober 😂
The Collegiate Adventures of Tom, the young criminal. The end segment with the pork rind and 1 guy 1 jar was hilarious.
"You've done it 100 times before! Zoom in Goddamn it!!!" I love it when Tom yells at Nadav! The look of defeat on Tom's face is priceless!!! lmao
at 17:03 you can see Burnt Chrysler has a gun pointed at their bed, good move Burnt, lol.
LOL then at 1:14:55 he tells Dr. Drew "I have a gun"
What a moron
And he's mentioned multiple times he barley knows how to get the bullet out of the chamber.
@@broadcastallsongs he also said he managed to break a shotgun because he didn't understand the type of action it was
@@EliteTricky probably tried to crack a pump in half lol
Bert: "I haven't said anything racist for 25 days."
Tom: "Didn't you say something racist yesterday?"
Bert : "I don't count that one, or the one I said the week before."
Just 3 cold heils on a hot summer day. Should I count that?
As long as you don’t beat any Jews or Mexicans two days in a row you’re NOT racist.
Bert's home life should be a sitcom.
"Married with Children" ? (for now)
I agree because it's boring and not funny.
Can we get a compilation of bert saying "theres 2 types of people in this world"
So cute that the dog is keeping her company and safe. Lol
Brent strikes me as a big pro wrestling fan
Is anyone gonna tell bert that his new joke premise is Bill Engvalls "here's your sign" bit.?
Tom: do you read Twitter tweets?
Tom is my grandma on the internet.
Tom screaming at nadav had me dying 😂😂
"I got bit by a bat" = "I slightly grazed my leg on a thorny bush when I walked passed it"
"I've wanted to smoke a cigar this whole quarantine so badly, but I won't."
Forgets that there's video evidence of him smoking a cigar on the JRE. And he wonders why his kids don't believe anything he says 🤷🏻♂️