I work, have bible studies, planting flowers, playing guitar and singing. I fix myself up now. When I start thinking about the ex, I just say "I love you Jesus!" I'm so grateful I am where I am and not where I was. 🙂
I was journaling for years and I just kept writing the same negative nasty experiences over and over. I was ruminating. I was like a hamster on their wheel. A dog chasing their tail. My experience is different this time, thanks to you Andrew! TY! Your channel and others like yours have helped so much! I’m eternally grateful 🙌🏻🌊☀️🙏🏻💪🏻🏃🏻♀️I finally see a light at the end of this tunnel. It’s getting brighter! 💫
I am so glad you brought this up Andrew. I find myself getting so stuck with ruminating at times, I am starting to see it as a waste of head space, it is getting better as time moves on but it is part of the healing journey.
Absolutely Andrew, I only felt safe at home. I didn’t want to socialise. I was hurting. I only needed myself. To be private with my tears. Even going to get groceries was difficult as I couldn’t smile at people and say hello like I always did. Going for walks eating well and getting the education and being able to understand what have I just experienced had to happen. Sometimes you think, I really have lost the plot! Sometimes you just sit and you may do this for long periods. Then. , you decide. That’s enough. And you slowly put your head into gear and get up and deal with the things you have to deal with. At this point your feeling strong. And you have to give yourself a good talking to. It upwards from this point, with a few wobbles but now your making good progress. You have to have this time. It is pure healing. As Andrew says in your time . ❤
Shortly after MY narcissistic relationship was over, I found THIS channel, and talking to so many people on here and making friends… the narc was NOWHERE on the list of things I thought about anymore. It has STAYED that way! GREAT video, Andrew as ALWAYS!!! I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day!!! Love you!!! ♥️😘♥️😘♥️😘❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 My friends, I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day as well!!! Love y’all!!! ❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜
Thank you for this. I am on my healing journey. Yes my whole family are flying monkeys. Yes, I am self isolated. Yes I am no contact. My social circle is gone. I am rebuilding. I am courageous. I am starting completely over. I wouldn’t wish this on any Empath. The dark night of the soul. I can’t change the past. I learn from it.
I went through the dark night of the soul. I do believe this happened to me to learn lessons. The healing process has been really hard but it’s getting better. When it first happened it was devastating. I know I tried my best to make the relationship healthy and to make it work. My side of the street is clean. It just hurts that someone that you thought loved you could devalue and discard you and move to another relationship like you never mattered.
I'm finally beginning to understand the hoover attempts, and why the exNarc husband tries to pop up where I am. He's wanting to keep me ruminating about him. These characters are so calculated, and premeditated with their mind games. It's diabolical. The hate inside of them is literally consuming them, and eating them up inside.
The main thing I started doing when the ruminating would occur is say "Thank you Jesus" and asked Him to get the thoughts out of my mind as may times as I needed to until those thoughts and memories stopped. In a way though thinking of the memories without dwelling on them made me thankful that I am where I am today. As you said Andrew that dark night of the soul was barbaric to say the least and I felt like I had not one but a few of those over a period of a few months. It had to happen though as you say and I'm honestly glad it did. It changed me for the better!! Thanks as always for your videos!! God bless you!! ✝👍
@Chan71222 I prayed to jesus to show me the light, take the pain and negative thoughts from my heart and weak soul...a week later I found this channel, onwards and upwards
Incredible timing as a week of ruminating has passed. It comes at odd times, yet not often & that's why we are so fortunate for your bravery & selfless energy, Andrew. Thank you.
Thank U for Sharing Andrew. I EXPERIENCE Alot Of Ruminating. Everyday. I EXPERIENCE Sadness DEPRESSION ANXIETY Being IRRITATED . I Was Used And Discarded Like GARBAGE. Im Being Treated As If I NEVER EXISTED This Is What Hurts Me
It’s very important to delete the text messages. I held on to them for 3 months and then realized they were stalling my healing. Close the book. That was a different reality under different assumptions.
@Julian. Welcome to the channel. This is a supportive community. Every day you are away from the narcissist toxic behavior, you are getting better and stronger. Think about that. Andrew’s videos have experience, strength, and hope. Wish you well on this journey.👍😊🌟
This came at the right time. I'm currently experiencing financial abuse as a side effect of standing up for myself and setting a boundary. I feel so angry that I didn't see that my father is a psycophat sooner. I'm so angry that it's all predictable and that he doesn't truly exist, and that he has any current part of my life. By the grace of Jesus I will escape.
I have found when I think about it, its not missing him. Its missing something to do, a relationship, loving someone, talking to someone. Definitely not him though. I live a pretty boring life. I just work and too tired to do much else. I do thank God I am past thinking specifically of him as a person.
I am thinking of him less and ruminating less but still have bad days where something will trigger a memory or I will have a dream about him that messes me up. Ugh.....slowly, slowly getting him out of my head.
EXACTLY. It's only in our heads. It's only EVER been in our heads. Talk about the battlefield of the mind!!! Like they say, The minds a terrible thing to waste♡
When I found myself ruminating I looked at the list of negative things I saw in him, and what a fantasy it was, this brought me back down to earth, 🌍🌍❤️🙏
Yes, I do that too. Divorced almost 5 years now, every few months I start rethinking, “why did it not work”, “have I done enough to rescue the relationship”, up to even “I want him back”. Hope this will end eventually 😞
Sometimes WE have healed A LOT and along comes someone - or many others- who have NOT healed their own wounds and THEY start ruminating their own memories of the ex narc (had this happen especially with a job scenario and also other toxic relationships) and when others began interfering with my own healing I had to make some hard choices. Leaving the casualties and walking off the battlefield was perhaps even more difficult than leaving the toxic relationships. One stripping of my heart after another 💔 and of course there could be more ruminating around that 😉 Eventually I chose ME. Great video Andrew. Grateful for the wisdom 🙏❤️
What you're sharing is deep, dear Chelsea. Sometimes I laugh to myself and ask "have I gone too far on the enlightenment road that I can no longer communicate with my old friends?".
Another awesome video! Yes, the rumination sneaks in and for me it was certain times of the day, particularly as soon as I laid down to go to sleep. So I dreaded going to bed! It is taking me a long time to come to grips with that relationship. I often blame myself for things and he constantly blamed me for his shortcomings and failures. It was so hurtful becuase I wanted the best for him. I know it's not wholly my fault. I'm sure I played a part in our downfall but I know I was not responsible for most of the things he accused me of. I knew it then but I wanted to fight so hard to prove that he was wrong about me. All of that work and it meant nothing. Narcs just up and leave with a new supply and seem to carry on unscathed. If it weren't for these videos, I feel I would not be as far along as I currently am. I am winning in life and things are going my way - at least some of the time. I never would have made these gains if I had stayed in that relationship. I'd still be that broken, sad, worn out person.
This is a very valuable video, and I hope people really listen… Rumination can become a sickness… Or an addiction… Trust me, I know! I didn’t realize it was possible to literally think about someone 24/7 for weeks, months, years… it took so much of my life away from me. I am still dealing with it, but I have found that you have to pick your path forward and ignore everything else one step at a time.
Yes, you replay it in your head like a bad accident. During the accident you were just trying to survive but once it is over you can now analyze what went wrong. My family counselor helped me to understand in terms that I was familiar with that I had a piece of equipment that could not be fixed, that I would have to wrap my brain around this. He explained that I was doing anything that it took trying to fix a piece of equipment that can't be fixed because it was the only piece of equipment that I had. He was right, he was all the family I had and was desperately trying to fix it but it couldn't be fixed. In all of my ruminating I had to put this together with the number of times I tried to fix it. Ruminating had me constantly asking if I did everything that I could. Was there something that I missed? The answer was yes, I did more than anyone could have. No, I didn't miss anything. Yes, my knowledge was limited. I did the best I could. I have no regret. I replayed it so many times in my head that the reruns became boring. Yes, boring. Finally boring. Yes, when I think about it or think about thinking about it, I already know how it ends, I know every scene. Zip!! That was fast, time to move on. Don't I have laundry to do? It enters my head and leaves just that fast. Finally.
Perfect timing for this video! We received a letter from the narc. Asking to FORGET and forgive. No way am I responding. But, it's been hard not to think about all the pain and anger. I am having a hard time getting the thoughts out of my head.
It does return, I think it gets easier each time, until it gradually goes away. More good days in between. I’m still praying for the day I don’t think of them each day. But it can be so devastating. Thank you for the reminder that it’s part of the healing when it comes back up.
I have PTSD and ruminating is one of the things that happen in PTSD, I have also just ended my 25 year marriage from a covert narcissist. There are a couple of things that I do that help me to stop ruminating over everything. Before I go to bed at night, I write down a plan for tomorrow of what needs to be done for the next day. In that plan I have a section of time for journaling, I find typing on a keyboard is the best for me as typing tends to keep up with my mind, rather than pen and paper. Write about anything you feel like from the relationship. Do not write the same thing twice and try to pick one of the worst days to write about, write down how you felt about it as well, this lets the feelings out and helps me to recover, as when I go back and read that journal, I feel more protective of myself and learn from that experience. In your plan, make space for physical exercise…chances are like me, you have neglected that too. My two favourite exercises are swimming and yoga. It’s hard to think of anything else when you have to breathe while swimming. Yoga is the same especially for breathing, if you are a beginner. I usually breathe out the bad and breathe in the good. Get yourself a good visualisation CD or video and practice it every night in bed before you go to sleep. After a while you will find that you get to sleep quicker listening to it. If you wake up in the middle of the night put it back on and you will find you will be asleep again in no time. This may take a week or so to be able to achieve. Clean one area of where you are living and make it your special place, I chose my bedroom. I got new sheets, new quilt cover, a new lamp and a few extra things that meant something to me and made my bedroom my sanctuary. Keep this area, neat and tidy so you can be proud of yourself. Pretty soon you will move onto another section of the house and do that up too. If you are tight for money buy the new items (they will be new to you) from a second hand store. Join a club or place where you can make new friends and increase your circle of friends with like minded interests. Don’t sit on the couch all day, do something, anything even if it is to go for a walk. If you are alone and are afraid to walk alone go to a shopping mall/ centre and walk around the inside a couple of times and it will be safer.
When I can't sleep or actually whenever I go to bed, I immediately start my mental list if all I an thankful for. Starting with my comfy bed and praying that everyone in the world is as comfortable and warm and out of the elements like me, and so on with food and on and on, next thing I wake up so peacefully and......peaceful ♡
After being love bombed by someone I’ve known 4 over 3 decades… I was promptly discarded. Thanks 4 this. I’m struggling more than I could ever imagine. 💔 I am isolating more than I usually do… which is a lot. I did begin to date since it happened… but I feel so lackluster. I’ll let someone hug me… but I feel completely nonchalant abt it. It’s been over a year since the discard. I’m not getting over it in any significant way. I hope & pray he wasn’t a narcissist bcuz I have a lifetime history of choosing these types. Thought I was past it. Surprise‼️
Great video Andrew. At first right after being discarded, ruminating was pretty bad. Every day feeling low hurt crying and thinking about giving up. Always thinking what did I do wrong. I now realize that nothing I could have done would have changed anything. But despite the abuse I really did love him unconditionally. Now I'm a little bit better I do things for myself first and always looking for ways to improve my life. I still ruminate once in awhile but not like before. And now My ex narcissist is trying hard to contact me, but I haven't responded or read any of the messages. Thanks everyone for your kind words and thank you Andrew.
This came at the perfect timing. I have been going through therapy lately and been watching your video's. This week I started having nightmares again about what I went through. Thank you for making these video's and spreading awareness.
@@stephaniedriscoll4067 the first month was horrible. It's 6 months later now and I started getting them again. But I know my subconscious mind is processing the events. Luckily in daily life I am doing way better and got my friends and normal life back! Just know everything will be better Stephanie ! :)
I had nightmares for years and those finally stopped the more I kept reading, journaling, doing therapy for 10 years, and letting myself think about this crap and what I was learning about it as much as I have to. I hope yours end soon. 🙏
I was ruminating today, your video came at the right time, it's been a month now since I left my marriage, I've been having some really rough days but the education that your channel provides has really been a blessing for me , I know my journey is a long road ahead of me but looking forward to a better healed version of myself and my journey. Thanks your a angel 😇 on earth 🌍.
Day 8 no contact and I had the most amazing thing happen today. I ran into my ex covert/grandious Nar/s friend from law school at the grocery store.. They had gone to law school together and we compared notes on the rise of demonic, dark energy that came after she became a lawyer. Her friend had distanced herself about a year ago and she confirmed everything that I experienced with my ex to a T. It was hard to hear and reopened some scar tissue but it was so healing to speak and confirm my experience , I can't tell you how validating it was and was like pouring hydrogen peroxide on a wound. Im still in disbelief that I went through this with someone for so long, it really is shocking how evil NPD is. Andrew is an Angel and trust me we need souls like him who counterbalance and are so eloquent and kind in sharing this wisdom for us who have been wounded by these people.
Alot has changed for me in the 6 months out of the Onewayship with the NARC. My financial status has been booming! I have become involved with many of my interests and with many grateful people who deserve my Love & Compassion. I practice replacing my thought of the Narc in my past immediately with something positive that is happening in my life now until it subsides. The wisdom in Andrew's videos are very valuable to my healing. I plan on staying plugged in for awhile. I'm on my journey back from HELL ❤❤ Thank you Andrew.😊
✌️💯🙏😇. Kick them to the curb and enjoy the journey.😎 It's a beautiful life. Usually the first whiff of bullcrap 💩 I walk. (Been through this a few times) Unless there is some type of obligation. Like family members, helping someone, protection, or innocence. The next Narc is going to have their hands 🙌 full of the hall of reflection stuck right in their face.
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 Next it will be a hoover from the want to be in a satanic rock band slinging the shit to all their traveling hooker groupies. 😆 now I'm just being funny. 😆
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 I tore it up last night on sleep. I have a crapload of work to do all day tomorrow. Taking a break from paperwork. Pretty close to the finish line on the paperwork. I'll sleep 🌚 like a baby tonight. G night 🌚
@@jessmason2112 it's sad but they actually NEVER learn. But they WILL try to make You learn to roll with their crap and jump REAL high on demand. Knumbskulls.
I began thinking about our wedding day... years later he told me that he had a puppy and he found it under my mother's porch, dead. I don't remember a puppy much less any other animal. I asked my best friend if she remembered a puppy... she said no. His bs started from the very beginning. That's what ruminating has brought me. These memories are random, I find myself having a convo with him while driving down the road. Lips moving, sounds coming out of my mouth... I caught myself... seems like for the umpteenth time! I know now it's trauma brain. But from the very beginning!! UGH!!
I felt I was over the whole thing and I believe I was.I left and divorced the narcissist many years ago. I have a good friend for many years 20+ and she suddenly got taken in by a narcissist. She has completely changed. Exhausted and drained. Financially drained with her resources depleted. Cant spend time with friends. She even has difficulty making decisions. I tried talking to her with no success. It triggered me and I started ruminating. I had to make the decision to cease the friendship. It was very difficult.
It's been almost 4 months outta a 3 year relationship with the narc the first 3 months was really good but for some reason last couple of weeks have been up and down. As much as I process these thoughts knowing it's for the best and she will never change and she hates me even more because I have my boundaries and no contact with everyone associated with her. Everyday is a working progress but I am better off and I know I will be living my best life the old me would of been doing this to show her up and rub it in her face but now I know I'm doing this for me I come first my peace of mind is everything over being manipulated than you Andrew for all your knowledge you're video's are the best
You reading my mine, Andrew? this is what I hvae been doing. Thanks for reassuring me that this is part of the process. I am just seeing how my thoughts can go there and more importantly, how I can move away from getting caught in the mire of being stuck in that place. Just because it does not feel good as I am going through this does not mean I am not progressing. Watching your videos from hen you began this channel I am encouraged by your progress. So many of the comments I read here also help me to keep moving forward. I keep thanking you guys for sharing what you are going through. So. Thanks again!!
Hey Richard, I feel so empowered as well. Im so happy and proud , too Andrews wisdom heart and this community is truely godsent to me. I have been so strong lately. I realized my sister still uses childhood scare-tactics, and even my Mom calls her own daughter Voldemort. Today I said to my 85 y o Mom , that my sister is very much like Magneto, a supervillian. And we must be like the Xmen, the good guys who stick together. She got curious about choosing a suitable Marvel Super hero for herself 😂😂 Things are going good! Bless us All 🎉 Heal Shine on❤
This is some serious stuff. I have experienced quite a lot during my life but narc experience was/is something i was not prepared at all. There were huge amounts of casualities, destroyed family relationships, financial abuse and much much more. 10 years of fog was something that feels like it will take at least 5 years to clear out. Thank you Andrew for the videos, have check them all and now i fully understand what was going on.
Andrew thanks so much!! I have to remember everything happens for a reason. At the end of the day I guess I do have more healing to do. I wish I could blink my eyes and forget but I can’t. Still processing somethings.😞it’s ok though I’ll get there!! Thank you Andrew thank you!!! ❤❤❤
Omggg yes true story!! Ruminating is intense!! Sometimes the person pops in my mind and I say God Bless him Change ME! Uffff sometimes it comes back even now. It happened the other day….I was romanizing/ruminating about the relationship. I had to go back into my journal and remind myself the truth…..it is the nasty trauma bond/the high highs and the low lows, it was like a drug at the end. It’s such a spiritual complicated healing journey. I also have to see things for what it is and that is I don’t have all the healing or all the answers and I grow into a better life by choice!
I am soooo grateful for your daily education. Thank you. When I experienced this abuse, there was no wording about that subject. Neither was the word " mobbing" in anyones vocabulary in those times. I run through several relationships with all kinds of narzs. Until I recently discovered that the rootcause for this was my mother. So simple. And so sad.
I just celebrated a full year of no contact 🎉 I still need to work on myself, but I processed what he is and I know that I did the right thing to kick him out of my life. My therapist told me if you are ruminating because scared of him turning up at your house or at your workplace, just prepare a plan in your head, and then LET IT GO. So if the situation ever happens, you'll be ready to deal with it. Thank you Andrew 🙏
One thing that helps with annoying thoughts that keep repeating over and over, especially when trying to get some sleep at night is L-tryptophan, with a little bit of water or fruit juice before bed. I like the Now brand. It's an amino acid, precursor to serotonin. It's also in turkey, oatmeal, and bananas. 🕊️🌿🌸✨
I sometime brew a cup with two teabags of "Sleepytime" tea. It works without any side affects. Also use the "Nightly Calm" tea. It's Camomile, lemongrass and spearmint, same way two tea bags.
@@janetroberts5140 Yes! I use the Sleepytime Extra on work nights. It's the first thing in life (I never take Rxs) that knocks me out, and I feel good when I wake up. But I have to get in bed within 20 minutes of drinking it, or it wears off. 🕊️🌸🌿😴💤
Great topic, and spot on… truth!! “I will never be good enough”… that’s the reality with these people. Thank you for your support, brother Andrew ~ Namaste 🌸
I always wait to the very end of your videos Andrew so I don't miss your friendly smile it makes me smile. That's the thing with narcissist's they are so selfish and self-absorbed that your smile either makes them think there is something in it for them or it makes them jealous because they think they are missing out on something. Keep smiling Survivor's you deserve to feel happy.👍😊
I find it happens most during bumps in the road , when you might start to doubt yourself ! You hear that old CRITICAL ALL KNOWING voice of the narc in your head , and you even start to imagine their opinion ! However these random HAUNTINGS don't usually last long , you remind yourself that you ARE a good judge , and you own your OWN reality ! You are the master of your own ship , and this it just a passing storm ! You remind yourself that their opinions were only ever born out of control and insecurity ! We are all EQUAL free sprits in this life , and you should always protect your individual light ! 🙏❤️😎
Had to stop at 1 minute in to comment. I've been at this for sooo long, and shortly after getting married and my kids were born I couldn't STOP ruminating. Had no clue about the chaos and how to stop it/fix it. So while I was at work I would listen to the different Bible teachers and one of them was talking about what worship means and summed it up with whatever you think about the most is what you worship. I was appalled to realize I was worshipping my husband. So then when I would catch myself ruminating about him I would change my thoughts, tell GOD I needed HIS loving thoughts and not the miserable hateful thoughts. It changed me, walls started falling, my personality started returning. I couldn't fix us with an eternity of ruminating but I could fix me. It has gotten me far but the narc still clung. Wish I'd known back then what you teach us now, said in a joyful way, no regrets ♡♡♡.
One of your best videos ever, Andrew. Especially the suggestion to ground yourself in the present moment, reframe, and recognize you are indeed OK when rumination comes out of "nowhere" (it does happen) This is key to returning the focus back to yourself ❣️ I think those moments are prime learning moments!
I got out of an eight year marriage with a narcissist divorced Jan 6 2021. I began to ruminate a lil yesterday. I was reminded of a video i had the wherewithal to get a few months before he was served with divorce papers)of the narcissist in a fit of rage his eyes just how you described he was foaming at the mouth it was painfully hard to see again but it was the very thing that woke me up then. Going through the worst of it during Covid. The thing that was so profound about my getting video and as I watched thinking- he was in such. A fit of rage he didn’t even know I had my iPhone catching it all in a memory that would forever remind me that I did the right thing. 🙏Happy birthday Andrew🎂
Ruminating... that's me. And I try very hard not to cause of what a let down I have been to my children and family. That's the real hurt that sticks in my heart. Thank you Andrew 🙏. Your insight and words really do help and this community supporting each other. 💜💜💜
my favourite self soothing antedote to ruminating is to pat my heart and say 'it's OK. I am safe and the bruises will heal. they are just bruises that can and will heal'
I am journalling my experience and so I don’t need to store the memory in my brain! 🧠 Coz part of me want to remember the experience to learn from it. I am also reading books, I am reading set boundaries find peace. Coz I found that I was a people pleaser I also try to be more confident and read Becoming Bulletproof.
Excellent video Andrew Discarded 3 years. Your videos have helped me tremendously. Didn’t know what NPD was until I was discarded and found your channel. Best thing that happened to me listening to your videos. Thanks. 👍Was discarded out of the blue and never heard from her again after 24 years.
Your brain understands you. Say out loud what you want!! I want to forget or not have ___ or the things they put me through come to mind 99% of the time. And when they do I need to force myself to think about something else. Something GOOD! SOMETHING I ENJOY! GOD and all he gas done for you!! CAMPING, GOING TO THE BEACH, FISHING, anything else!!
2 years now, post narc. At first I relied on distractions, that helped!!! Now, when the rumination returns, I distract!!!! I take a walk, watch Andrew, watch a movie.
Hi Andrew, I’ve just watched your video about flying monkeys. I’m not a caring sort of person, I’ve had to always be strong. Narcissist father, relationships all my life. I could have cried for you when you talked about flying monkeys. That’s the place I find myself in now. Exhausted, I’m 70 and don’t feel I can cope with it. Be strong my friend. The best way I deal with it is get angry. From one empath to another x.
Thank you for this video - I’m journaling - prayer and meditation - learning to love myself and understanding my gifts as an empath - and set up healthy boundaries and eliminated the flying monkeys 👍🏼😐🙌
Energy resources depleted I pushed my strengths to zero. Until I had the seed of hope and rose up from the ashes. Its radical thinking and commitment to my desire to live. Thank you for sharing your journey 🙏
Thank you for letting us know that ruminating is part of the healing path. In all these years of looking for answers I've never heard that before and it's extremely helpful. I thought ruminating was natural because when things are happening to me and I can't change them no matter what I do, I believe it's because I'm supposed to be experiencing them no matter how much they suck. But everyone around you acts like you've got major issues if you try to talk to them about it, and even expensive therapists who specialize in abuse do that. For me, the N experience is not unlike anything else I've ever experienced. I've been abused by Ns since I was 3 and I'm 59 now. Once I started reading the books about them, I could look back through my personal history and see that every past relationship I was dealing with them, and many of my old friends were Ns too and, of course, there were coworkers who were attacking others and then me once our cohesive staff started breaking up on a social level because of these Ns.
My ruminating...out of control. Gotten much better, I had to dig in deep into myself and still am and do, changing My mindset and thinking about my future while living in the now, I came watch your videos Dr Ramini, Dr Le's Carter The Royal We few others, Yours are my main stay Andrew thow, This community....I really feel better and yes still have work to do. ~Big Hugs Peace n Love ~
will it ever end..? just when i think it's over...some stupid thing happens & bam...i'm back remembering...it can be as simple as a sound or smell..or as complex as giving a shoulder for someone to cry on...or...some bit of news in the world....all the crazy happening is certainly triggering...today it was a politician saying a few words with that look on his face...none of the show they were putting on was real & that too is triggering..cos...the unreality feels all too familiar i pray for all of us..every living thing in existance
I still have moments of ruimination. Its getting easier however it gives me more clarity than ever. Eventually the narsisist can't get away with their antics forever. Thank you Andrew for the knowledge & education. I work everyday on myself. Nameste my friend.🙏💗
You have a time, a rumination, don't worry, it is a stop, a point of recognition, a step to a higher level..from this point of stop, there will be a leap forward, it has happened to me many times, I've felt very down, however, it leads to a point of self awareness and belief, you will find yourself. much ❤ love
I was married to 2 of them who spent years trying to turn my flesh & blood daughter against me. I find that 2b the most evil of all their despicable behaviors. I was tested 2 my core. Defended 10 years of ugly custody battles filled with lies inwhich I had 2 prove 2 a court were not true. In family court u are guilty until proven innocent. Cost me a fortune in legal bills… but in the end neither of them succeeded in their quests. I often think & wonder how many peeps are out there who didn’t get the outcome I did. I have nothing but the humblest of love & caring 4 what u went thru & are going thru. I hope u can find your strength. I send u love! ❤
Love isn't just how you feel about someone its how they make you feel about yourself
I work, have bible studies, planting flowers, playing guitar and singing. I fix myself up now. When I start thinking about the ex, I just say "I love you Jesus!" I'm so grateful I am where I am and not where I was. 🙂
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I intend to follow how you do it...thank you.🌟
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@@missta1820 God bless you and keep you in perfect peace! ❤
I love solitude
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Ruminate on your freedom & smile😊💕✌🏼 TY Andrew
@@ESSIEMARIE1998😊🌺
I was journaling for years and I just kept writing the same negative nasty experiences over and over. I was ruminating. I was like a hamster on their wheel. A dog chasing their tail. My experience is different this time, thanks to you Andrew! TY! Your channel and others like yours have helped so much! I’m eternally grateful 🙌🏻🌊☀️🙏🏻💪🏻🏃🏻♀️I finally see a light at the end of this tunnel. It’s getting brighter! 💫
Beautiful message thank you for sharing this 😌😊🙌💪
❤️❤️❤️
Go girl!! 👏💓
💜💞💜
I am so glad you brought this up Andrew. I find myself getting so stuck with ruminating at times, I am starting to see it as a waste of head space, it is getting better as time moves on but it is part of the healing journey.
Absolutely Andrew, I only felt safe at home. I didn’t want to socialise. I was hurting. I only needed myself. To be private with my tears. Even going to get groceries was difficult as I couldn’t smile at people and say hello like I always did. Going for walks eating well and getting the education and being able to understand what have I just experienced had to happen. Sometimes you think, I really have lost the plot! Sometimes you just sit and you may do this for long periods.
Then. , you decide. That’s enough. And you slowly put your head into gear and get up and deal with the things you have to deal with.
At this point your feeling strong. And you have to give yourself a good talking to. It upwards from this point, with a few wobbles but now your making good progress.
You have to have this time. It is pure healing.
As Andrew says in your time . ❤
Excellent Excellent comment♡
"And I took the road less traveled by. And THAT has made all the difference." --Robert Frost
Staying busy and focusing on my hobbies and prayer helps me! Also being with people that truly cares about me. Watching Andrew helps so much too!😊
Shortly after MY narcissistic relationship was over, I found THIS channel, and talking to so many people on here and making friends… the narc was NOWHERE on the list of things I thought about anymore. It has STAYED that way!
GREAT video, Andrew as ALWAYS!!! I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day!!! Love you!!! ♥️😘♥️😘♥️😘❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
My friends, I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day as well!!! Love y’all!!! ❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜
Thank you 🙏😌🙌
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 🙌😉💋♥️
Love it ❤
💕
Tell me some tips please
Thank you for this. I am on my healing journey. Yes my whole family are flying monkeys. Yes, I am self isolated. Yes I am no contact. My social circle is gone. I am rebuilding. I am courageous. I am starting completely over.
I wouldn’t wish this on any Empath. The dark night of the soul. I can’t change the past. I learn from it.
I went through the dark night of the soul. I do believe this happened to me to learn lessons. The healing process has been really hard but it’s getting better. When it first happened it was devastating. I know I tried my best to make the relationship healthy and to make it work. My side of the street is clean. It just hurts that someone that you thought loved you could devalue and discard you and move to another relationship like you never mattered.
big difference between unhealthy isolation, vs healing solitude
I'm finally beginning to understand the hoover attempts, and why the exNarc husband tries to pop up where I am. He's wanting to keep me ruminating about him. These characters are so calculated, and premeditated with their mind games. It's diabolical. The hate inside of them is literally consuming them, and eating them up inside.
The main thing I started doing when the ruminating would occur is say "Thank you Jesus" and asked Him to get the thoughts out of my mind as may times as I needed to until those thoughts and memories stopped. In a way though thinking of the memories without dwelling on them made me thankful that I am where I am today. As you said Andrew that dark night of the soul was barbaric to say the least and I felt like I had not one but a few of those over a period of a few months. It had to happen though as you say and I'm honestly glad it did. It changed me for the better!! Thanks as always for your videos!! God bless you!! ✝👍
Beautiful empowering message 🙏🙌😌❤️
Wow!
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank you!💜💙
@Chan71222 I prayed to jesus to show me the light, take the pain and negative thoughts from my heart and weak soul...a week later I found this channel, onwards and upwards
Incredible timing as a week of ruminating has passed. It comes at odd times, yet not often & that's why we are so fortunate for your bravery & selfless energy, Andrew. Thank you.
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
Thank U for Sharing Andrew.
I EXPERIENCE Alot Of Ruminating.
Everyday.
I EXPERIENCE Sadness DEPRESSION ANXIETY Being IRRITATED .
I Was Used And Discarded Like GARBAGE. Im Being Treated As If I NEVER EXISTED This Is What Hurts Me
Your Not Alone Demi, We all do.
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
😌💯🙏
Demi you are awesome don't let anyone tell you otherwise 😊😊😊😊😊😊!
Know that feeling. Thanks for the courage to share it with all of us. Your not alone.
It’s very important to delete the text messages. I held on to them for 3 months and then realized they were stalling my healing. Close the book. That was a different reality under different assumptions.
Learning about narcissism for the first time is terrible and terrific. Thank you for the videos, Andrew!
@Julian. Welcome to the channel. This is a supportive community. Every day you are away from the narcissist toxic behavior, you are getting better and stronger. Think about that. Andrew’s videos have experience, strength, and hope. Wish you well on this journey.👍😊🌟
This came at the right time. I'm currently experiencing financial abuse as a side effect of standing up for myself and setting a boundary. I feel so angry that I didn't see that my father is a psycophat sooner. I'm so angry that it's all predictable and that he doesn't truly exist, and that he has any current part of my life. By the grace of Jesus I will escape.
🙌😌💪🙏
🙌💯🙌💯💯my dad also so sorry
Yes you will
I get it. My FIL.
I have found when I think about it, its not missing him. Its missing something to do, a relationship, loving someone, talking to someone. Definitely not him though. I live a pretty boring life. I just work and too tired to do much else. I do thank God I am past thinking specifically of him as a person.
🙌🙏😌
I am thinking of him less and ruminating less but still have bad days where something will trigger a memory or I will have a dream about him that messes me up. Ugh.....slowly, slowly getting him out of my head.
😉💪😌
EXACTLY. It's only in our heads. It's only EVER been in our heads. Talk about the battlefield of the mind!!! Like they say, The minds a terrible thing to waste♡
Even more now days our world needs positive words , and hope !! 😊😊😊😊😊!
Absolutely correct 🙌😌🙏☀️❤️
Ruminate=(verb); to think deeply about a subject or question over a period of time. Ponder, speculate, or contemplate.
When I found myself ruminating I looked at the list of negative things I saw in him, and what a fantasy it was, this brought me back down to earth, 🌍🌍❤️🙏
And the path isn't linear. Thanks Andrew ❣️
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
Yes, I do that too. Divorced almost 5 years now, every few months I start rethinking, “why did it not work”, “have I done enough to rescue the relationship”, up to even “I want him back”. Hope this will end eventually 😞
Sometimes WE have healed A LOT and along comes someone - or many others- who have NOT healed their own wounds and THEY start ruminating their own memories of the ex narc (had this happen especially with a job scenario and also other toxic relationships) and when others began interfering with my own healing I had to make some hard choices. Leaving the casualties and walking off the battlefield was perhaps even more difficult than leaving the toxic relationships. One stripping of my heart after another 💔 and of course there could be more ruminating around that 😉
Eventually I chose ME.
Great video Andrew. Grateful for the wisdom 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing 🙏😌🙌😊
That sounds difficult!🥲
What you're sharing is deep, dear Chelsea. Sometimes I laugh to myself and ask "have I gone too far on the enlightenment road that I can no longer communicate with my old friends?".
@@mayk89 a lot of it is prioritizing how you want to spend your time.
Getting better and it is literally melting the trauma in my body. Release. Beautiful Release.
Another awesome video! Yes, the rumination sneaks in and for me it was certain times of the day, particularly as soon as I laid down to go to sleep. So I dreaded going to bed! It is taking me a long time to come to grips with that relationship. I often blame myself for things and he constantly blamed me for his shortcomings and failures. It was so hurtful becuase I wanted the best for him. I know it's not wholly my fault. I'm sure I played a part in our downfall but I know I was not responsible for most of the things he accused me of. I knew it then but I wanted to fight so hard to prove that he was wrong about me. All of that work and it meant nothing. Narcs just up and leave with a new supply and seem to carry on unscathed. If it weren't for these videos, I feel I would not be as far along as I currently am. I am winning in life and things are going my way - at least some of the time. I never would have made these gains if I had stayed in that relationship. I'd still be that broken, sad, worn out person.
This is a very valuable video, and I hope people really listen… Rumination can become a sickness… Or an addiction… Trust me, I know! I didn’t realize it was possible to literally think about someone 24/7 for weeks, months, years… it took so much of my life away from me. I am still dealing with it, but I have found that you have to pick your path forward and ignore everything else one step at a time.
Thank you 🙌😌🙏
Yes, you replay it in your head like a bad accident. During the accident you were just trying to survive but once it is over you can now analyze what went wrong. My family counselor helped me to understand in terms that I was familiar with that I had a piece of equipment that could not be fixed, that I would have to wrap my brain around this. He explained that I was doing anything that it took trying to fix a piece of equipment that can't be fixed because it was the only piece of equipment that I had. He was right, he was all the family I had and was desperately trying to fix it but it couldn't be fixed. In all of my ruminating I had to put this together with the number of times I tried to fix it. Ruminating had me constantly asking if I did everything that I could. Was there something that I missed? The answer was yes, I did more than anyone could have. No, I didn't miss anything. Yes, my knowledge was limited. I did the best I could. I have no regret. I replayed it so many times in my head that the reruns became boring. Yes, boring. Finally boring. Yes, when I think about it or think about thinking about it, I already know how it ends, I know every scene. Zip!! That was fast, time to move on. Don't I have laundry to do? It enters my head and leaves just that fast. Finally.
Smart family councilor ♡♡♡. Great analogy, I will remember that!!!
Feeling much better now
I thank you my friend
🙏😌🙌
Im doing it less and less thankfully I'm trying g real hard to get out there again to meet someone new💚💫👍💥
🙌😌😊
Perfect timing for this video! We received a letter from the narc. Asking to FORGET and forgive. No way am I responding. But, it's been hard not to think about all the pain and anger. I am having a hard time getting the thoughts out of my head.
This video is right on time! I thought I was going backwards
It does return, I think it gets easier each time, until it gradually goes away. More good days in between. I’m still praying for the day I don’t think of them each day. But it can be so devastating. Thank you for the reminder that it’s part of the healing when it comes back up.
I have PTSD and ruminating is one of the things that happen in PTSD, I have also just ended my 25 year marriage from a covert narcissist. There are a couple of things that I do that help me to stop ruminating over everything.
Before I go to bed at night, I write down a plan for tomorrow of what needs to be done for the next day.
In that plan I have a section of time for journaling, I find typing on a keyboard is the best for me as typing tends to keep up with my mind, rather than pen and paper. Write about anything you feel like from the relationship. Do not write the same thing twice and try to pick one of the worst days to write about, write down how you felt about it as well, this lets the feelings out and helps me to recover, as when I go back and read that journal, I feel more protective of myself and learn from that experience.
In your plan, make space for physical exercise…chances are like me, you have neglected that too. My two favourite exercises are swimming and yoga. It’s hard to think of anything else when you have to breathe while swimming. Yoga is the same especially for breathing, if you are a beginner. I usually breathe out the bad and breathe in the good.
Get yourself a good visualisation CD or video and practice it every night in bed before you go to sleep. After a while you will find that you get to sleep quicker listening to it. If you wake up in the middle of the night put it back on and you will find you will be asleep again in no time. This may take a week or so to be able to achieve.
Clean one area of where you are living and make it your special place, I chose my bedroom. I got new sheets, new quilt cover, a new lamp and a few extra things that meant something to me and made my bedroom my sanctuary. Keep this area, neat and tidy so you can be proud of yourself. Pretty soon
you will move onto another section of the house and do that up too. If you are tight for money buy the new items (they will be new to you) from a second hand store.
Join a club or place where you can make new friends and increase your circle of friends with like minded interests.
Don’t sit on the couch all day, do something, anything even if it is to go for a walk. If you are alone and are afraid to walk alone go to a shopping mall/ centre and walk around the inside a couple of times and it will be safer.
Great ideas!
When I can't sleep or actually whenever I go to bed, I immediately start my mental list if all I an thankful for. Starting with my comfy bed and praying that everyone in the world is as comfortable and warm and out of the elements like me, and so on with food and on and on, next thing I wake up so peacefully and......peaceful ♡
After being love bombed by someone I’ve known 4 over 3 decades… I was promptly discarded. Thanks 4 this. I’m struggling more than I could ever imagine. 💔 I am isolating more than I usually do… which is a lot. I did begin to date since it happened… but I feel so lackluster. I’ll let someone hug me… but I feel completely nonchalant abt it. It’s been over a year since the discard. I’m not getting over it in any significant way. I hope & pray he wasn’t a narcissist bcuz I have a lifetime history of choosing these types. Thought I was past it. Surprise‼️
🙏😌🙌
Take it one day at a time. Your worth it.
Start at the beginning and binge watch Andrew's videos.
Exellent Topic.🕊️
Thank you 🙌😌🙏
Absolutely 💯 it’s natural you need to process everything isolating is a good thing not for too long though living in the moment is key
🙌😌🙏
Great video Andrew. At first right after being discarded, ruminating was pretty bad. Every day feeling low hurt crying and thinking about giving up. Always thinking what did I do wrong. I now realize that nothing I could have done would have changed anything. But despite the abuse I really did love him unconditionally. Now I'm a little bit better I do things for myself first and always looking for ways to improve my life. I still ruminate once in awhile but not like before. And now My ex narcissist is trying hard to contact me, but I haven't responded or read any of the messages. Thanks everyone for your kind words and thank you Andrew.
You are doing great! So strong!❤
Block him so he can't send you messages.
This came at the perfect timing. I have been going through therapy lately and been watching your video's. This week I started having nightmares again about what I went through. Thank you for making these video's and spreading awareness.
Welcome 🙏😌🙌
I’m getting nightmares it’s horrible isn’t it
The sleepless nights & nightmares will stop - your subconscious is busy processing all the information while you sleep 👍💓
@@stephaniedriscoll4067 the first month was horrible. It's 6 months later now and I started getting them again. But I know my subconscious mind is processing the events. Luckily in daily life I am doing way better and got my friends and normal life back! Just know everything will be better Stephanie ! :)
I had nightmares for years and those finally stopped the more I kept reading, journaling, doing therapy for 10 years, and letting myself think about this crap and what I was learning about it as much as I have to.
I hope yours end soon. 🙏
I was ruminating today, your video came at the right time, it's been a month now since I left my marriage, I've been having some really rough days but the education that your channel provides has really been a blessing for me , I know my journey is a long road ahead of me but looking forward to a better healed version of myself and my journey. Thanks your a angel 😇 on earth 🌍.
Day 8 no contact and I had the most amazing thing happen today.
I ran into my ex covert/grandious Nar/s friend from law school at the grocery store..
They had gone to law school together and we compared notes on the rise of demonic, dark energy that came after she became a lawyer.
Her friend had distanced herself about a year ago and she confirmed everything that I experienced with my ex to a T.
It was hard to hear and reopened some scar tissue but it was so healing to speak and confirm my experience , I can't tell you how validating it was and was like pouring hydrogen peroxide on a wound. Im still in disbelief that I went through this with someone for so long, it really is shocking how evil NPD is.
Andrew is an Angel and trust me we need souls like him who counterbalance and are so eloquent and kind in sharing this wisdom for us who have been wounded by these people.
I notice it more in the morning.
😌🙌🙏
Alot has changed for me in the 6 months out of the Onewayship with the NARC. My financial status has been booming! I have become involved with many of my interests and with many grateful people who deserve my Love & Compassion. I practice replacing my thought of the Narc in my past immediately with something positive that is happening in my life now until it subsides. The wisdom in Andrew's videos are very valuable to my healing. I plan on staying plugged in for awhile. I'm on my journey back from HELL ❤❤ Thank you Andrew.😊
✌️💯🙏😇. Kick them to the curb and enjoy the journey.😎 It's a beautiful life. Usually the first whiff of bullcrap 💩 I walk. (Been through this a few times) Unless there is some type of obligation. Like family members, helping someone, protection, or innocence. The next Narc is going to have their hands 🙌 full of the hall of reflection stuck right in their face.
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 I'm 2 for 2. Aunties little sisters monster 👹, and my brother the coward 🤪. 3 times a charm.😆👊💪❤️💯🙏😇 that's just the last 3 months. 😆
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 You would think they would have learned by now.
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 Next it will be a hoover from the want to be in a satanic rock band slinging the shit to all their traveling hooker groupies. 😆 now I'm just being funny. 😆
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 I tore it up last night on sleep. I have a crapload of work to do all day tomorrow. Taking a break from paperwork. Pretty close to the finish line on the paperwork. I'll sleep 🌚 like a baby tonight. G night 🌚
@@jessmason2112 it's sad but they actually NEVER learn. But they WILL try to make You learn to roll with their crap and jump REAL high on demand. Knumbskulls.
I began thinking about our wedding day... years later he told me that he had a puppy and he found it under my mother's porch, dead. I don't remember a puppy much less any other animal. I asked my best friend if she remembered a puppy... she said no. His bs started from the very beginning. That's what ruminating has brought me. These memories are random, I find myself having a convo with him while driving down the road. Lips moving, sounds coming out of my mouth... I caught myself... seems like for the umpteenth time! I know now it's trauma brain. But from the very beginning!! UGH!!
Yikes!
I felt I was over the whole thing and I believe I was.I left and divorced the narcissist many years ago. I have a good friend for many years 20+ and she suddenly got taken in by a narcissist. She has completely changed. Exhausted and drained. Financially drained with her resources depleted. Cant spend time with friends. She even has difficulty making decisions. I tried talking to her with no success. It triggered me and I started ruminating. I had to make the decision to cease the friendship. It was very difficult.
How sad.
It's been almost 4 months outta a 3 year relationship with the narc the first 3 months was really good but for some reason last couple of weeks have been up and down. As much as I process these thoughts knowing it's for the best and she will never change and she hates me even more because I have my boundaries and no contact with everyone associated with her. Everyday is a working progress but I am better off and I know I will be living my best life the old me would of been doing this to show her up and rub it in her face but now I know I'm doing this for me I come first my peace of mind is everything over being manipulated than you Andrew for all your knowledge you're video's are the best
Thank
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
Cant believe the callousness of this person !!!Take ,take ,and take ....
💯💯💯
Trap...what a suitable word for relationship with narcissists. Inside of this trap is innocent rabbit and outside is wolf.
Made me laugh!!! I married a guy who's last name literally means wolf in Polish.
You reading my mine, Andrew? this is what I hvae been doing. Thanks for reassuring me that this is part of the process. I am just seeing how my thoughts can go there and more importantly, how I can move away from getting caught in the mire of being stuck in that place. Just because it does not feel good as I am going through this does not mean I am not progressing. Watching your videos from hen you began this channel I am encouraged by your progress. So many of the comments I read here also help me to keep moving forward. I keep thanking you guys for sharing what you are going through. So. Thanks again!!
Welcome 🙌😌🙏💯
Hey Richard, I feel so empowered as well. Im so happy and proud , too Andrews wisdom heart and this community is truely godsent to me.
I have been so strong lately. I realized my sister still uses childhood scare-tactics, and even my Mom calls her own daughter Voldemort.
Today I said to my 85 y o Mom , that my sister is very much like Magneto, a supervillian. And we must be like the Xmen, the good guys who stick together. She got curious about choosing a suitable Marvel Super hero for herself 😂😂
Things are going good! Bless us All 🎉 Heal Shine on❤
Yes ; truth 🌸
@@iconsnart Happy for you!!
This is some serious stuff. I have experienced quite a lot during my life but narc experience was/is something i was not prepared at all. There were huge amounts of casualities, destroyed family relationships, financial abuse and much much more. 10 years of fog was something that feels like it will take at least 5 years to clear out. Thank you Andrew for the videos, have check them all and now i fully understand what was going on.
Welcome 🙌🙏😌
Andrew thanks so much!! I have to remember everything happens for a reason. At the end of the day I guess I do have more healing to do. I wish I could blink my eyes and forget but I can’t. Still processing somethings.😞it’s ok though I’ll get there!! Thank you Andrew thank you!!! ❤❤❤
Welcome always 😉😉❤️🙏
So ruminating is like reflecting? Thank you again Andrew, you’re a savior to so many. Ruminating less and less and love the healing journey 🤍🙏🏾🔥🔥🤙🏽
😌🙏💯
Yes, Andrew kind of like a carousel,up and down and round and round.Its awful!!!
😉💯😌
Omggg yes true story!! Ruminating is intense!! Sometimes the person pops in my mind and I say God Bless him Change ME! Uffff sometimes it comes back even now. It happened the other day….I was romanizing/ruminating about the relationship. I had to go back into my journal and remind myself the truth…..it is the nasty trauma bond/the high highs and the low lows, it was like a drug at the end. It’s such a spiritual complicated healing journey. I also have to see things for what it is and that is I don’t have all the healing or all the answers and I grow into a better life by choice!
Yes, many good things are surprising! Serendipity!❤
@@emilywilson7308 Emmmilllllyyy I love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@myphd-myprisonhistorydiplo691 love you too!!!💖
@@emilywilson7308 ❤️❤️❤️💯💯💯🫵🫵
I like that!!! God, bless him and change me♡
I am soooo grateful for your daily education. Thank you. When I experienced this abuse, there was no wording about that subject. Neither was the word " mobbing" in anyones vocabulary in those times. I run through several relationships with all kinds of narzs. Until I recently discovered that the rootcause for this was my mother. So simple. And so sad.
Thank you for sharing this 😌🙌🙏💯
I just celebrated a full year of no contact 🎉 I still need to work on myself, but I processed what he is and I know that I did the right thing to kick him out of my life. My therapist told me if you are ruminating because scared of him turning up at your house or at your workplace, just prepare a plan in your head, and then LET IT GO. So if the situation ever happens, you'll be ready to deal with it. Thank you Andrew 🙏
One thing that helps with annoying thoughts that keep repeating over and over, especially when trying to get some sleep at night is L-tryptophan, with a little bit of water or fruit juice before bed. I like the Now brand. It's an amino acid, precursor to serotonin. It's also in turkey, oatmeal, and bananas. 🕊️🌿🌸✨
Thank you for sharing 🙌🙌
I sometime brew a cup with two teabags of "Sleepytime" tea. It works without any side affects. Also use the "Nightly Calm" tea. It's Camomile, lemongrass and spearmint, same way two tea bags.
@@janetroberts5140 Yes! I use the Sleepytime Extra on work nights. It's the first thing in life (I never take Rxs) that knocks me out, and I feel good when I wake up. But I have to get in bed within 20 minutes of drinking it, or it wears off. 🕊️🌸🌿😴💤
Camomile tea helps too and is non medical
Spot on! Thank you for your faithful work to help empower people who have encountered the narcissistic disease working through others
Welcome 🙏😌🙌
Great topic, and spot on… truth!! “I will never be good enough”… that’s the reality with these people. Thank you for your support, brother Andrew ~ Namaste 🌸
Thank you 😌🙌🙏
They are master manipulators !
GREAT MESSAGE ANGEL
KNOWLEDGE IS THE ONLY LEVERAGE YOU WILL EVER NEED TO OVERCOME LOSS
BY HANNA💛💜
🙏😌😇
I always wait to the very end of your videos Andrew so I don't miss your friendly smile it makes me smile. That's the thing with narcissist's they are so selfish and self-absorbed that your smile either makes them think there is something in it for them or it makes them jealous because they think they are missing out on something. Keep smiling Survivor's you deserve to feel happy.👍😊
Just the sweetest comment♡
@@tmo.48 Thank you so much for making me smile, sending you love and light.💖
I find it happens most during bumps in the road , when you might start to doubt yourself ! You hear that old CRITICAL ALL KNOWING voice of the narc in your head , and you even start to imagine their opinion ! However these random HAUNTINGS don't usually last long , you remind yourself that you ARE a good judge , and you own your OWN reality ! You are the master of your own ship , and this it just a passing storm ! You remind yourself that their opinions were only ever born out of control and insecurity ! We are all EQUAL free sprits in this life , and you should always protect your individual light ! 🙏❤️😎
Thank you for sharing this insight 🙌😌🙏💯
Thankyou I get it….I could scream but I do get it. Hello from the rabbit hole
Yes!!!! When he screamed at (1 time)his eyes! The anger! Wealthy handsome and cold as ice. 6 weeks and it was over
Thank you for one of the best videos you have done at least for me. I look for daily messages everyday
It had me too!!!
Great video Andrew!
Wishing everyone clarity and peace.
Thank you♡. And same to you!
Had to stop at 1 minute in to comment. I've been at this for sooo long, and shortly after getting married and my kids were born I couldn't STOP ruminating. Had no clue about the chaos and how to stop it/fix it. So while I was at work I would listen to the different Bible teachers and one of them was talking about what worship means and summed it up with whatever you think about the most is what you worship. I was appalled to realize I was worshipping my husband. So then when I would catch myself ruminating about him I would change my thoughts, tell GOD I needed HIS loving thoughts and not the miserable hateful thoughts. It changed me, walls started falling, my personality started returning. I couldn't fix us with an eternity of ruminating but I could fix me. It has gotten me far but the narc still clung. Wish I'd known back then what you teach us now, said in a joyful way, no regrets ♡♡♡.
One of your best videos ever, Andrew. Especially the suggestion to ground yourself in the present moment, reframe, and recognize you are indeed OK when rumination comes out of "nowhere" (it does happen) This is key to returning the focus back to yourself ❣️ I think those moments are prime learning moments!
Thank you 😊🙌🙏
I got out of an eight year marriage with a narcissist divorced Jan 6 2021.
I began to ruminate a lil yesterday. I was reminded of a video i had the wherewithal to get a few months before he was served with divorce papers)of the narcissist in a fit of rage his eyes just how you described he was foaming at the mouth it was painfully hard to see again but it was the very thing that woke me up then. Going through the worst of it during Covid. The thing that was so profound about my getting video and as I watched thinking- he was in such. A fit of rage he didn’t even know I had my iPhone catching it all in a memory that would forever remind me that I did the right thing. 🙏Happy birthday
Andrew🎂
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Ruminating... that's me. And I try very hard not to cause of what a let down I have been to my children and family. That's the real hurt that sticks in my heart. Thank you Andrew 🙏. Your insight and words really do help and this community supporting each other. 💜💜💜
my favourite self soothing antedote to ruminating is to pat my heart and say 'it's OK. I am safe and the bruises will heal. they are just bruises that can and will heal'
I am journalling my experience and so I don’t need to store the memory in my brain! 🧠
Coz part of me want to remember the experience to learn from it.
I am also reading books, I am reading set boundaries find peace. Coz I found that I was a people pleaser
I also try to be more confident and read Becoming Bulletproof.
Becoming Bulletproof. I need to get a copy♡
Excellent video Andrew Discarded 3 years. Your videos have helped me tremendously. Didn’t know what NPD was until I was discarded and found your channel. Best thing that happened to me listening to your videos. Thanks. 👍Was discarded out of the blue and never heard from her again after 24 years.
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
When he passed away, the ruminating started again. Really messed with my head. Talk about confusing feelings.
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Mine too😢
@Emily Wilson I know. I had a surge of that love I felt mixed with guilt and just plain confusion about my feelings.
@@emilywilson7308 I'm sorry, it's not easy losing someone you love even if they may not have really felt like we do
I don't want to sound callous but you will sort it out. It just takes time and a quirky personality ♡
The ruminating definitely comes in waves. Fight it off! TY Andrew 💙 Namaste Brother.
Your brain understands you. Say out loud what you want!! I want to forget or not have ___ or the things they put me through come to mind 99% of the time. And when they do I need to force myself to think about something else. Something GOOD! SOMETHING I ENJOY! GOD and all he gas done for you!! CAMPING, GOING TO THE BEACH, FISHING, anything else!!
Yes indeed♡♡♡
2 years now, post narc. At first I relied on distractions, that helped!!! Now, when the rumination returns, I distract!!!! I take a walk, watch Andrew, watch a movie.
Beautiful message 😌🙌🙏😊
Hi Andrew, I’ve just watched your video about flying monkeys. I’m not a caring sort of person, I’ve had to always be strong. Narcissist father, relationships all my life. I could have cried for you when you talked about flying monkeys. That’s the place I find myself in now. Exhausted, I’m 70 and don’t feel I can cope with it. Be strong my friend. The best way I deal with it is get angry. From one empath to another x.
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love it when you bow down your head and that was the cutest bye ever andrew 😂 have good dreams andrew 💭😪
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Thank you for this video - I’m journaling - prayer and meditation - learning to love myself and understanding my gifts as an empath - and set up healthy boundaries and eliminated the flying monkeys 👍🏼😐🙌
What happened this morning tells me that I still have work to do.
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Thinking of you Mary!
It's OK!
Energy resources depleted I pushed my strengths to zero. Until I had the seed of hope and rose up from the ashes. Its radical thinking and commitment to my desire to live. Thank you for sharing your journey 🙏
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
Thank you for letting us know that ruminating is part of the healing path. In all these years of looking for answers I've never heard that before and it's extremely helpful. I thought ruminating was natural because when things are happening to me and I can't change them no matter what I do, I believe it's because I'm supposed to be experiencing them no matter how much they suck. But everyone around you acts like you've got major issues if you try to talk to them about it, and even expensive therapists who specialize in abuse do that.
For me, the N experience is not unlike anything else I've ever experienced. I've been abused by Ns since I was 3 and I'm 59 now. Once I started reading the books about them, I could look back through my personal history and see that every past relationship I was dealing with them, and many of my old friends were Ns too and, of course, there were coworkers who were attacking others and then me once our cohesive staff started breaking up on a social level because of these Ns.
Andrew you are a Godsend!! Thank You for the videos you have no idea how much they help healing sooo many hurting!! God Bless Andrew❤️🙏🏽😇
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My ruminating...out of control.
Gotten much better, I had to dig in deep
into myself and still am and do, changing
My mindset and thinking about my future
while living in the now, I came watch your
videos Dr Ramini, Dr Le's Carter The Royal We few others, Yours are my main stay Andrew thow, This community....I really feel better and yes still have work to do.
~Big Hugs Peace n Love ~
Beautiful message thank you for sharing 🙌😌😊🙏
will it ever end..?
just when i think it's over...some stupid thing happens & bam...i'm back remembering...it can be as simple as a sound or smell..or as complex as giving a shoulder for someone to cry on...or...some bit of news in the world....all the crazy happening is certainly triggering...today it was a politician saying a few words with that look on his face...none of the show they were putting on was real & that too is triggering..cos...the unreality feels all too familiar
i pray for all of us..every living thing in existance
I am really struggling dealing with rumination .I have dealt with a narcissist mother and father ,then I married a narcissist now ex .
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I still have moments of ruimination. Its getting easier however it gives me more clarity than ever. Eventually the narsisist can't get away with their antics forever.
Thank you Andrew for the knowledge & education. I work everyday on myself.
Nameste my friend.🙏💗
Hiya Andrew I’m still missing him when I know he doesn’t care about me. But he’s been found out for what he is so that’s a blessing. Hope u are ok. x
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 😀🤗xx
You miss what was built in your mind to be. It's not who they really are.
You have a time, a rumination, don't worry, it is a stop, a point of recognition, a step to a higher level..from this point of stop, there will be a leap forward, it has happened to me many times, I've felt very down, however, it leads to a point of self awareness and belief, you will find yourself. much ❤ love
Thank u Sir, your vids really helps getting a handle dealing with difficult people.
Andrew, Thank you for always bringing THE TRUTH! Namaste.
I regret being in a relationship with that person, even though i left but he cost me my family
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I was married to 2 of them who spent years trying to turn my flesh & blood daughter against me. I find that 2b the most evil of all their despicable behaviors. I was tested 2 my core. Defended 10 years of ugly custody battles filled with lies inwhich I had 2 prove 2 a court were not true. In family court u are guilty until proven innocent. Cost me a fortune in legal bills… but in the end neither of them succeeded in their quests.
I often think & wonder how many peeps are out there who didn’t get the outcome I did. I have nothing but the humblest of love & caring 4 what u went thru & are going thru. I hope u can find your strength. I send u love! ❤
@@katemoffitt1641 💞💞💞
Eye opening video. I did enjoy it very much. 😊