My 3 EASY TRICKS To Make First Dates Less AWKWARD | Matthew Hussey
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
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First dates are primed to be awkward.
We're going out with someone we've met for only 5 or 10 minutes usually, perhaps not at all, and so first dates have the potential to be extremely awkward if you don't set yourself up in the right way.
Here are 3 quick tips to make the whole process smoother and less awkward...
1) Touch early and often
A mistake people often make is that as they don't know someone well, and because they don't want to seem too keen, they don't get at all tactile.
The problem with this in the first part of a date is that the longer you leave it before introducing touch, the more awkward touch becomes.
For a guy, the most pain-staking, horrible scenario is the time when you've barely touched the woman you're with throughout the entire date, and at the end you want to kiss her. This makes the move of only a few centimetres feel like a mountain to climb.
Touch allows for a smoother transition through each stage.
As a woman you have the power to set the tone for this by giving him a hug or a kiss on the cheek when you first see him. This isn't desperate; it just conveys that you're someone who's warm.
2) Don't sit opposite each other
Sitting opposite one another immediately creates awkwardness. Reason being, when there's a silence, there's nowhere to turn (but facing each other).
If you're sitting adjacent to or next to someone, you can watch the world together.
Now, when there's a silence, it's not awkward, it's just a silence while you're both looking out to whatever's in front of you. When you're ready to restart the conversation, you can turn to your side and carry on.
3) Do something externally focused
I'm going to say this bluntly: The worse you are at conversation, the more external focus you need.
If you're an amazing conversationalist, you can take someone to the corner of a quiet bar and talk all night, creating an amazing connection.
If you're someone who's a little nervous, and you know that it takes a while for you to warm up, you have to do something where there's external activity. Examples could be a museum or a comedy show, or on a more subtle level it could be something as simple as taking a walk together.
Even if you were sitting on a busy park bench people-watching, this allows you to comment on things outside of yourselves, as opposed to having the sole focus on the two of you and the conversation you're having.
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proof that confidence can make any shirt look good
This is stupid true. Looks like a potato rag
But it doesn't look good.
Nope his shirt still sucks.
A Good looking girl make any dress look Good
His face makes up. For it
hands in the bucket if u have watched this before a first date hahaha
👍👍👍
me
i will have one in a few days and i am terrified I have been watching these types of videos for a few hrs now :D
+Nasko K. Dimov how did it go????
tomorrow ahh
Don't have a date tonight, tomorrow or maybe even next month, just watching these dating videos just in case.
Lol wanna go out?
Carlos Coriano how does it feel? To be a pathetic loser?
Skeleton Clique takes one to know one.
Same same same
Skeleton Clique wtf bro, you havin a tough time?
This was actually so sweet. He’s not a skeevy pick up artist or trying to take advantage of anxious/ socially awkward people. He’s just trying to help and giving real practical tips it’s so refreshing and comforting to see well intentioned and logical people like this
G w❤c😅😅
These are really great tips for people with social anxiety.
Sam ve u hear about quick hookup if you're interested lemme know🇱🇷✈️
*Warning* STI alert
FOR REAL 😢
About a month ago I went out on a date with a man that I knew was shy. We went to a nice restaurant that was quiet and we sat directly across from one another. Typically I am not a quiet person but I was feeding off of him. We sat there miserable for less then 1 hour and then I went home. After listening to this I called him back up and asked him if he wanted to go for a motorcycle ride. I was shocked that he said yes. But it was perfect. I sat behind him and talked into his ear and got to rub his back and make that first physical connection to let him know I was interested and he was able to get comfortable enough talking to me without having to stare straight at me. This was brilliant! By the time we got back from our road trip and were face to face again we had 3 hours of conversation and 3 hours of things we could look back on and talk about. "Wow wasn't that waterfall amazing it reminded me of this one time..."
Great advice, keep it coming. ;)
Kim Hokenson wow lol that's interesting. I'm glad it worked out! Good thing you were a little patient! Great story to hear!
That's awesome! cheers
Kim Hokenson Are you two still together?
Sitting directly across from each other should in most cases be avoided. Especially if you're bad at small talk and/or shy.
I learned this at work. Sitting directly across from someone is confrontational and if there is a lot of tension, the conversation can easily turn into what seems more like an interrogation.
I'm more shy than most and I know it's off-putting. Once I'm done with my initial shyness, I'm more likeable. At least I hope so. :P
I think a hiking trip would be a good idea for a first date. At least in the area where I live.
Mary Hunt I second that
''don't sit opposite each other'' AMEN! finally someone said that, thank you. I find it so awkward
I did that with my ex almot always and it would always be awkward. Learnt from that never to sit opposite to each other
What about eating dinner?
Truth
Carrie Balberg yeah that what i was thinking
With my gf in the past I love sitting next to her, it allowed me to share food or give her kiss.
Dude im going on a date in 2 hours i feel like im going to war 😂😂😂😂
update?! please.
@@stanleeajrdabeatles1523 she died
@@Dkbox-1 💀💀💀
same 😂💀
@@Dkbox-1 RIP
She was a good soldier, fighting brave until the very end
1 - Touch early and often.
2 - Don't sit opposite each other. Sit next to them.
3 - Do something that involves having external focus, particularly if you are bad at conversation. Such as a walk, hike, or just watching people on a bench.
I have a Date tomorrow and im so nervous. Im quite a shy person and im so scared of arkward silence
Edit: holy shit I never realized that this had so many comments. So for everyone asking, that was my first date (I was 16 or 17). I think it went better than expected, there was no awkward silence. No we didn’t end up in a relationship.
How did the date go if you still remember lmao
Waiting fo you
Mel G same
Same
same
Shows up to first date, extends arms out: "Hug?.."
*3 sec pause*
"No? okay.." :(
Jay Sea Haha the madman himself. Man we really have to go to some club to meet some chicks
Haha omg i really hope for you that you didnt actually ask her for a hug... women like confidence, which means not asking for permission... you wouldnt ask "sex?" So just go in for a hug whwn you meet her and maybe a kiss on the cheek if you feel like it
Wooooooow it’s Jay. Notice me senpai.
StraightUp Dude it’s obviously a joke.
Morten Stenhaug It’s just a joke obviously.
i asked a guy out and we had the best first date EVER! it was instant chemistry after knowing him for around 4 months but just as friends, and we talked for HOURS and time flew by. we sat side by side, and it never felt awkward. im still seeing him!
Edit: omg... how am I just seeing this 6 years later!!!!!! You guys are awesome. We broke up after 3 years.... but we were fairly compatible for most of it. Our life goals were just too different. I wanted kids and he didn’t... now I’m with the love of my life and we met on bumble!
How about now?
H C yea 😂
nigga it been 4 years lmfao
Did You, ahem, FRIENDZONE him?
now i really need to know if you er still seeing him
I've done the sit beside thing a number of times before. It actually helps immensely with the touch aspect. Reaching out across the table to touch her is rather creepy, but if you're sitting beside her it can come a lot more naturally.
1. Touch early and often (the longer you wait the more awkward it gets) (being warm is not being desperate)
2. Don’t sit opposite each other (it immediately gets awkward) park bench style allows you to people watch or not be forced to look at each other during silent moments.
3.do something that involves actual external focus, especially if you aren’t a conversation expert)
Thankyou!
@Mario Saldana If you're looking to romance a woman it is much easier when you can initiate physical touch during the date, and this isn't really possible when sitting across from each other. If you're great at conversation you can get away with it, but many people will find that the date is more enjoyable when you are adjacent to each other
i literally made every single mistake
@@bodacious9885 🤣🤣
2. Ya. How’d that work out for Mike Yanagita
just take a shot before a date !
😂
Actually helpful
Not one like 3
I just did this😂
Seems about right !
I'm so nervous.
Mia H
I feel you.
2h 45 mins left for me.
Rebekah Pena
How was it?
I presume not so good.
I’m scared.
B Gill im terrified, im shy and have social anxiety...
I like the shirt he's wearing, it looks easy to tear off
Hamza V. hahaha
Hamza V. hahahahhaha 😂😅
LOL props
😂😂😂
Lol freak
How do u even touch him? I cant even look him in the eye
Same
Just go in for a hug man as soon as you see him just say hey, and give him a hug. Don’t think about it too much just be natural about it! That should ease the tension a little!!!
@@adamterry1550 Have you hear about quick hookup if you're interested lemme know🇱🇷✈️
@@nnacamille4682 shut up
I did this unintentionally at the first date with my first boyfriend. We immediately clicked and I always wondered why I never had that with other guys. Now thinking back of this date I realize what I did wrong the following dates after my first boyfriend.
Great video! I love the bluntness "the worse you are at conversation the more external focus you need"
The fact about sitting adjacent to each other actually sounds brilliant to me, didn't even think of that. I pictured my first "date" with someone I've known for a while as us, sitting completely opposite of each other and now I can see how impractical it is in comparison to sitting next to, or adjacent to each other. I imagine it's more freeing.
I hate first dates
Akira Bell wtf u idiot
Just pretend it's your second 👍
Don't we all and nice name 😂
Who doesn't.
Well don't hate it, its your first time knowing each other personally and so on feels comfortable with each other
Sitting opposite each other is also known to be seen as more formal and intimidating. I remember in my peer counselling classes we were told to sit in a sort of 45 degree angle next to each other so that it's comforting and less intimidating to the other person.
I used the touch often tip! Set my timer to beep every ten minutes then we have to touch. She loved it, worked great.
that second one is especially smart.
It's my first time hearing that advise, "not sit opposite with each other", and I was like "oh so that's why!" because often times it feels more like an interview rather than a casual conversation hahaha.
Matthew just looks like a really jacked Daniel Radcliffe
cutieprincess431 He isn't even jacked, wtf.
can't unsee this now
cutieprincess431 you think this guy is "really jacked" lmao wtf have we come to....he has good confidence though
If this dude is “really jacked” im excited to hear what I am lmao
His voice even sounds like Daniel Radcliffe, the tone
great advice except don't go for a walk by a river or in the park unless you're confident you will be safe ... remember, you don't know this date!
great point!!
Took a girl out to date today at a park now she's gone missing.
That's fine, it's still a public place, never go to his house on first date. I have seen mishaps happening
If it's a crowded place wich it's most likely gonna be, who the hell takes a date to a remote river lol?
Victoria Burmester
true he could push you in the river exactly if you don't know that person
I sat directly in front of the person I just went on the first date with, and it was fine. We both enjoyed good conversation, and there was no awkward silence. Could have continued talking until now, hours later, but it was starting to get too dark outside.
As someone who hasn't gone on any date yet, this video makes me feel to never want to go on date because I'm so shy and need time to be comfortable with someone that I don't know 🤔
Have you been on one since this comment
This was so helpful! This is perfect for shy girls like me. 💗
who the hell sits side by side at dinner ?
Me
do something about 90% so you sit as he said adjacent.
it's easier if you get like a corner table or corner both where you can angle yourself to not be directly in front of the person
ryuisonline As if the person is not anxious enough.. now I got to think about the design of the goddamn table. Can't wait!
Guywithaguitar me
I'm having first date tomorrow.. Wish me luck
sun shine how’d it go?
@@ashlynnschrock1480 The world will never know
Matt Garcya maybe they are married now! Maybe they hate each other... maybe he’s her new baby daddy! Who knows🤷🏻♀️
sun shine update ?
I have been binge watching date vids my first date is in an hour! Wish me luck
yo how was it!?
***** It was awesome!!
PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT IIIT!
It was so fun we went to a fair and rode a bunch of rides!! On the way back in fell asleep on his shoulder and it was so exciting!!
ooh yayy! congrats ;)
Thanks man, tomorrow we’re gonna go see topgun. I just turned 16 and this is gonna be my first ever date. She’s so gorgeous. Wish me luck boys.
How did it go bro?
@@RBJG- probably bad i had a date and went to the movies. Never works out there
Dude this video is deadass helpful. Honestly wasn't even expecting that 😂
Going on my first date in two hours and I feel so confident now!! We are going to the cinema wich has a lot of external activity of course, and after we’re eating sushi! The sushi restaurant has the benches that allow us to sit next to each other. If the restaurant seems full, I’ll convince him to sit on the benches
how did it go??
Facts how did it go?
This is such great advice! All of the awkward dates I've had were because of the mistakes you talked about. I will definitely be using these tips before my next first date.
I feel like going to a restaurant is the worst possible first date. Just my own personal feeling but damn it can be so awkward. Once went on a first date at night to the beach. We made food together first and sat there with our food on a blanket drinking wine. It was awkward at times but the lapping of the waves drowned out any awkwardness. It was nice and simple.
Beach in winter is not an option lol.. Options are way less in winter time for dates :/ I guess day time coffee date would be more appropriate
I have a date in.. Four hours, so I'm basically binging all of these videos. 😂
This was actually really helpful. On my last date I went to an Italian place and sat directly across from the girl. Big mistake, it was really awkward. Will go bowling or something next time. I did greet her with a hug initially, I'm not sure if she liked it at the time as she gave me a very surprised look, but yeah it's probably the right move looking back. It was awkward but the first touch is going to be awkward no matter what.
I am heading out on a first date to go feed the ducks and walk along the river. Thanks for the advice!
smooth mate
how did it fo
Start the date with a hug. Good start :)
How tho
@@dillonlee2346 lmao I hope it went uphill because that’s not a great start
I love museum dates. I love talking while looking at art and historical items.
Allows for casual touch to draw attention to things
It can go as slow or quickly as you like.
I enjoy conversation and learning. I enjoy people who also like these things.
I like antique markets, outdoor or farmers markets, free music festivals etc. Inexpensive or free, interesting, has opportunities to gauge what the other person likes, plus plenty of time / places to eat or sit and chat.
External activity: put on a porn movie as a surprise.
This literally helped me so much❤️
Asperger Datter 👉👌
Tosh.O Daniel Tosh bully
I really needed this cause I'm awkward as hell
What's the difference between " next to him" and "adjacent to him" ? sounds the same to me .
at an 90 degree angle, like if you sitting at a table then not right across from each other but to the right or left side
I see. Thank you :)
For us visual people, something like: Corner Booth vs Park Bench :)
Think in terms of chess.
The pawn can only take an opponent's piece when that piece is Adjacent to the pawn. It can only move forward normally to a space that is next to the pawn.
He could've said 'perpendicular' but he knows his audience.
I’m 14 and I met one of the most amazing girls I’ve ever seen. She’s beautiful, kind, smart. Everything about her perfect. People say middle school relationships don’t last. But I believe it can. I don’t want to mess it up
Sorry to break it to you, they dont or shouldnt last long, I've seen it a lot. But dont worry and go and enjoy what could happen, just gonna give and advice, with time you both change and since youre 14 A LOT on very little time, when you feel its no longer all happiness and love and you just no longer feel the same dont be afraid to let her go, its better to have a short but happy relationship than a long and tedious thing
Mate, if you guys stay together until old age and death you could probably break some kind of record. xD
I do know a couple who were childhood sweethearts, they are 49 now and happily married nearly 30 years! It is fairly rare, but not impossible.
I have my first date ever in two hours. I'm scred that the conversation will get awkward and silent.
how did it go?!
@@iselflores7913 OK so bacically the first date was so amazing. We met, walked a bit trough the city and sat down at a Caffè. We had our first kiss and the night got to a beautiful ending. Like a month later when we were already together we hooked up multiple times and I just didn't feel comfortable doing this so HE broke up with me, then wanted to go back together and I was like no thanks. Oh and I'm 15, German and graduating this year. He was 18 at the time. In the 4 months since I posted the comment I had my own little love story that ended sooner than I thought. But the first date was amazing not gonna lie
Edit: spelling
@@korekiyoshingucci4237 Er war 18?! damn 😟
@@dieasap that reminds me...
Update 2: so bacically he sexualy abused me and I never got the bravery to go to the police and I think that this would just create new drama which I don't want or need right now
Matthew thank you so much. You helped me get out and over a abusive relationship.to being comfortable with my self. To opening my heart to moving to my first date ! Thank you again. Keep being amazing
All great tips! I hate first dates! I'm 58 and widowed. Men that I know, get my attention by WHO they are, not how they look. So, since there is no attraction before or on the first or second date even, I need something else to look at. The 90 degree seating is perfect, and having something happening around us is necessary.
Tomorrow I have my very first date, Very solid tips. I will update this.
@Davy Vos
How did it go?
Plain and simple just be yourself! I met this beautiful woman by chance at a gas station. I started talking to her got her number we instantly connected it was crazy we both had the same problems in life, she asked me to go to the state fair with her that was my first date with her it was beautiful. Ive been with her over a year, and as I type this we are going out again tonight going out to eat! Just be yourself no need to be nervous!!! Crazy how things work!
I am meeting a guy in 2 days for the first time in person. We have matched on tinder in 2018! and kept texting since then (with 1 year break) so in total 2,5 years of texting. He is flying in so I offered him to stay in my place. I am threatened since he is over confident and I am not. Its a first seeing and then we already sleep for 2 days in my house. Oh. my. god. help. I really feel in love with him even this sounds crazy. Cross your fingers for a happy end please.
I was in a 4 yrs relationship broke up kept to myself and now I'm bout to go on a first,date got anxiety so bad smdh
I just asked out a girl yesterday and I am SO nervous but knowing this makes me fell beter. thanks
going on my first date this weekend I'll keep you updated
Tell us how it went. I'm going on my first date in around an hour.. ✨
This is VERY culturally unique. In some cultures, touching on the first date is inappropriate, let alone kissing someone.
Western cultures.
British people much like they speak are very straightforward.
Jenna Kenna ya, met people from all around the world and Brits are the worst ones (liking them as a person, their appearance, the way they talk, their straightforwardness etc)
I had a date sitting side by side. I found it awkward always twisting to talk and not really seeing their eyes.
I like shy guys, taking my time and I wouldn't feel comfortable with a hug on a first date. It's important to keep the person, body language and situation in mind.
Don't do that, don't give me hope.
Lol! There's always hope.
@@anitahendricks I don't know, we'll see!
Lol this is weard for me. Here where I live, in Brazil, is kinda awkward if I dont kiss in the first date nowdays. I'm 21 btw.
1. touch early and often. the sooner you introduce touching, the better
2. sit side by side
3. chose a place with external simuli and thing to see
The underside of his face and his voice are almost identical to Daniel Radcliff.
and somehow he's 10 billion times more attractive than Dan. I totally see the resemblance
Dam you now I hear it and can’t get rid of it
Damn I can't unsee this
That is so random and true
That’s what I thought I was just hearing this video and I was like ‚Is Harry Potter talking to me right now‘
Good advice! I'm not an expert but in my experience I will add a few things. If you already know the person you are taking out I think it's fine to go to dinner and chances are you won't have any awkwardness sitting across from each other. If it is the first time you are truly getting to know someone I think doing an activity together is a good way to. Walk by the river and grab a drink at nearby bar or cafe. Maybe go bowling and share some laughs. Go to a concert that allows you to listen as well as talk to one another. Also, don't overthink things!
I can just recall one of my awkward dating mistakes. You definitely hit it right Matthew!
Some people don't feel comfortable with touch right off the bat though. Keep that in mind too.
I’m going on a date today with a guy I met on bumble. I’m honestly super nervous but these are all super great tips I wasn’t sure if I should hug him or not at initial meet & were going mini golfing! I guess we’ll see how it goes!
I was kinda nervous so i just had a shot and i felt more alive and excited... definitely recommend it but don’t drive
THANK YOU IVE BEEN DEBATING IF I SHOULD DO THAT
Not sitting adjacent to each other is waayyy useful info. Thanks...
Going to ask a girl to go out today pray 🙏 for me people on the comments just watching this video just in case she say yes an nervous I’ll update y’all toning if she say yes or no.
I’m going on a date tomorrow 😬 Gonna come back to this comment and document how it went.
It’s gonna rain, so we’ll go to a café - and sit opposite each other... and I’m damn awkward.... So shit’s going down D:
Edit: it happened. It was pretty nice. And pretty awkward. But he was so sweet. It wasn’t too bad sitting opposite each other. We sat outside and at some point it started to rain. So we decided to go for a walk instead.. in the rain. A lot of awkwardness. But also kind of nice. We have decided to meet again. Maybe I’ll document that as well.
Edit 2: all right....! It’s been 4 weeks since I first started seeing him. Today I saw him for the third time. He’s so sweet, and I’ve grown quite happy for him c: I went to his place and we sat in his room and played card games. And he played piano for me. I draw, and had promised to draw him one day, so I did that lmao. It wasn’t as “romantic” or whatever as I had imagined in my head. But it was kind of wholesome. And then at the end of the day.... we kissed!!! That was my first kiss (and I’m 19 y’all). It was horrible. But I did it. I’m so glad :)))
I’m going on my very first date tomorrow with a guy I met 2 weeks ago online, we played video games together today and I’m so shy and I’m scared to make the whole thing awkward and uncomfortable 😅
@@peggy-annottawa6159 so ? tell us girl
@@amyamy8953 it went well I think, he still wanna see me even tho I didn’t really talk the whole time 🥲🥲🥲 he’s really sweet tho!! But still too shy to even say anything 😅😅
ok so i’m going on a date for valentines and i’m scared to kiss this guy because i rly like him and i don’t wanna mess it up
Amee C omg same as you😭
>-< i have my first date this valentines day... good luck to you Amee
Me toooo omg
Ethan-AOC thank you! u too :)
@@acca3946 how'd your date go amee
On my first date with someone he discovered I drove a standard and he got really excited. He told me he hadnt driven one since he had his first car ( over 15 years ago ) so I threw him my keys and we went for a fun late-night drive! It was brilliant and totally memorable.
I couldn't agree more and those tips are golden for people like me who tends to get really nervous on dates
First date since the breakup
Nervous excited!
I’m going on a date tonight. Well we’re in lock down so we are going for a walk and ordering dinner and wine. I’m so effing nervous. I hate having to play sexy and confident without getting an Oscar for it! Lol
Do you still play it now ?
Ugh he's so attractive! And that accent mmmmm
Someone's horny
Watched this right after my awkward date, we sat opposite of each other… needless to say never again
Lol how’d it go
Clicked on this with a shit ton of anxiety
had a first date yesterday... only saw this video today
made all of the mistakes he told us not to make
the date went awefull...
which sucks because i really liked the girl, but now she's no longer interested in me
Hang on there buddy,she is a gold digger,a few extra bucks for you and the next girl
@@georgemwangi17 gold digger? If i went to a date and the girl was awkward and didnt show any interest i wouldnt want a 2nd date
going to ask someone on a date thing to the cinema pls give me tips and things to talk about on the train to the movies 😭😭😭
That sitting advice is actually really good for first dates
this guy is a genius
Good advice...I hope I have the courage to use it.
Touching too soon can be reaaaaal weird.
I’ve literally never been on a date and have no such plans yet
I'm going on my 2nd date today at a mini golf course I hope it goes all good
Xinel you got dis!
thanks! it went really good I asked for a second date and she accepted:D
Buried With You Well I can officially tell you she's my girlfriend 2 weeks now ^^!
Buried With You Haha thanks! I'm extremely happy ^^
Buried With You Yeah of course you have it in you, you'll meet someone I know you will!
Going on a hike with a guy I used to work with years ago. Conversation is great on messenger, im so looking forward to it! These are great tips in person! Thank you!!
The only way I can see the date I’m going on awkward is having an awkward hug or going in for a hug and she’s not really feeling it 😬
"touch early"
*covid:* aM i a JoKe tO yOu
I have a date in an hour haha... I'm hoping this helps 🤞🏽
How’d it go?
@@Abby-yk4mg it went well. We just talked and got to know each other, will probably go on a second date soon. At least I hope so!
Have a date today im so nervus ,shes amazing and im scared of akward silence
I'm going this afternoon, 2pm. The only downside to this date (imo) is me knowing that I won't talk much because, well, I'm shy and introverted... but I've been dating this guy for months now and I love and cherish him very dearly. Hope I don't mess everything up 🤞🏾
LOL EVERYTHING WENT FINE AF NOW WE'RE CLOSER THAN EVER
My very first tinder date, happened at midnight. It was probably the most impulsive decision I’ve ever made, in my life ever, like he could have killed me. But it was absolutely weird but wonderful at the same time. He drove me around in his car and he brought me to like this hill that shows off the city. It was like a friken fever dream.
Plus, I’m like very anti-social, so I was a mumbling idiot. So there’s that. I was so fricken nervous that my hands were shaking. I’m still thinking about it and wow, it makes me feel warm all over.
I have a first date tomorrow so wish me luck guys!
Will let you know how it went.
may the force be with you))
WISH YOU LUCK
How did it go ?
you never let us know how it went :(
OMG this helps so much thank you
"Hey after dinner, lets go to this river"
"Ok"
Gets ghosted and never sees her again.
Good thing I found this video on my page because I have a date next weekend
You are spot on about relationship issues. I've listened to a lot of your videos and you are spot on.
2:27 dear lord, what Ive done
@Modsbeck
Don't worry. You aren't the only person whose done that. Sitting next to her opens up a lot of opportunities on the date:
Along with the verbals, you want to do some physical/"incidental" escalation. Basically any excuse to touch her. Ask her what's her story with her tattoo, earrings, bracelets, rings, necklaces, any noticeable scar on her face, etc. You don't have to ask her about every single accessory that she's wearing. Just pick two or three. While you're asking her about her earrings, brush her hair back behind her ear. Reach for her hand at some point in the date and ask "What's the time?" and caress the area near her watch with your thumb or you can intwine fingers with her. Ask "Did you steal (name an item she's wearing) from someone so you can impress me tonight?" and then give her a smirk. Ask "What does your tattoo represent?". Brush the back of your hand against her hair while asking "Is your hair naturally (insert hair type here)" and then say that you prefer girls that have (enter her hair type here). Make assumptions like "Let me guess: Your favorite color must be (enter color here) because you're wearing a lot of (enter color here) tonight and when I met you last time."
How to kiss her using the question game (ask these in this exact order):
*1- Do you find me attractive?
*2- Are you enjoying tonight?
*3- Where’s the first place you've ever kissed a guy?
**4- At what point tonight did you really want to kiss me? If she’s shocked with a blush on her face, then you just go in for a kiss. If she says "oh I wanted to kiss you when...", then that's also a green light to go in for the kiss. If she says "no actually I didn't want to kiss you", then just back off for a bit and try to work up to it again by playing some kissing games later on in the date after asking some more intimate questions.
Count the Shoulder Game: Tell her! "Let's play a game of count the shoulders." You can play this game after you've been escalating after some time while sitting next to her on her right or left. You can even use this game to kiss her while sitting next to her in your apartment on the first date too. This game works smoothly if you were to make some of the previous questions of the "questions game" based on Pirates, Deserted Islands, Treasure chest, and Money. Here it is: Ask her, "If you were a pirate, where on you would your pet parrot stand? Would it be here (stretch behind her neck with your left hand and double tap her left shoulder) or here (while keeping your left hand on her left shoulder, you rest your fingers on her shoulder and you move in to kiss her on her right cheek and pull away from her a few inches.) If she welcomes it by blushing, lean in and kiss her on the lips.
The Owen-Aniston kissing bet: Tell her "Let's make a bet. I bet you (say the amount of dollars here) that I can kiss you without ever touching your lips but you have to keep your eyes closed." With hers eyes closed, You kiss her on the lips. Afterwards, you tell her "It was worth every penny." It was a bet that Clive Owen made with Jennifer Aniston in the movie "Derailed".
The Scent Game: Ask her to guess the cologne you're wearing. "You get 2 choices: Hugo Boss or Calvin Klein?" She leans in to smell you and says "oh I think you're wearing ____." You correct her. Next, you say “let me smell you”. You lightly/gently grab onto her shoulder and lean in and say “oh you smell of Skunks” (or just substitute those 3 things with 3 other "appropriate" things that do not have very attractive scents.) Whisper: "Just Kidding." Kiss her on a CHEEK as your face is near her. Pull back and If she giggles/blushes, you move in and then kiss her LIPS.