We’re glad you’re here buddy. Not here as in a tough spot but here on TH-cam being vulnerable and open. I medicated with Xanax and klonopin for 6 years. Im now over 400 days off. You got this man you are capable.
Day 100 for me today. So grateful. Not looking back. It's getting easier. My anxiety is practically all gone, I can't believe it. First major holiday sober, check ✅
I really hope you find peace . But sometimes especially coming from the uk , i think Americans can over analyse everything or think theres a therapy session or pill for everything, sometimes youve just got to quit for yourself and your family. Or whatever is important to u . Im an adult mental health nurse . Ive seen people caught up in looking for answers pills therapies advice off other people wasting yrs and yrs , only going back to the beginning over and over . Just do it . Its in u .
In the beginning, when I was fighting the very same feelings you describe. I would always surround myself with long term sober Alcoholics. It gave me a sense of if they can do it than it's possible for me as well. I would talk with long term recovering alcoholic friends. I found that over the years of my recovery I began to discern those that were honestly trying to get better and those that were not yet ready. My brain can be my worst enemy, so I reach out to strong committed people and most importantly I pray to remove evil thoughts and temptations.
This is exactly how this came across to me - this dude told my story. Not sure why I've never told it like him, maybe I've been too ashamed or too much of a bullshitter!
Thank you from someone who struggled with the drink demon most of my life on and off. I tried everything to stop. I now have almost 6 months sober which is nothing less than a miracle.
Fear really is a huge part of the journey. “Binge sickness” is a such an accurate description. Thank you for your honesty. It’s comforting and inspiring. Keep asking the tough questions. You are not alone. ❤
Listen man first of all, rushes of fear rise, it's a part of you feeling afraid, I know this quitted few times cold turkey for my nths and restarted it at 2013 until I felt whole body dt ok, not hand shakes sweaty palms which I had in the past , so rushes of fear are a part of the untangling proccess ok , never had a sip since August 2017 so I have some experience
@@bignoknow sir, have u ever checked out Byron Katie? there are a few good hour+ long interviews of her on YT. i hear u talking about your brain, seems u believe it to be wired a certain way for addiction? and that that is where ur battle lies? i would like to differentiate between your brain and your mind, the idea/concept of brain,experientually, is just that, conceptual,it is the thoughts and thinking that you are _experiencing_ example? the voice(s) in your head, please forget theories for a moment and simply notice that it's your minds thinking of certain thoughts _and your believing_ in those certain thoughts, again and again, that have led you back to retox. Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle describe being suicidely miserable UNTIL THEY RECOGNIZED that it was the voices in their heads THAT WAS INFLICTING ALL THE TORMENT. their videos can help anyone caught in this thinking loop, and it's when we are motivated enough by the suffering that we may want to look beyond what our minds are serving us _and decide not to swallow it_ anymore.. btw, i'm gonna be 64 in couple months, got just over 3 yrs no drink this time and i credit the fact that i don't relapse today to practicing what i've learned from Tolle.
I watch your videos for many many years. You helped me with my anxiety a lot. I'm really thankful for you! Also I follow your journey with addiction, and in every past relapses I saw you doing, I was 101% sure, that eventually you will get back on track again and there will come time when your last relaps will be sooo soooo far away in the past!
Hey Noah your videos have been very helpful for me you know one thing i struggle with is expressing myself because i always feel like i don't matter or im important to anyone and this also happened to me in middle school
Thanks Noah, I'm at 6 days today... started in the summer... tried to be an occasional drinker...geez... I was once 2 years booze free, your so right how alcoholism gets harder as you get older 💯... I'm back in AA after skipping meetings for 3 months .... love this video you just posted, it helped me alot ❤
I haven’t made it through the video yet… but you popped up again. Go figure. Been following you for years. Facing some charges, guess you could say I’ve hit rock bottom. No one was hurt. It’s been a month since my arrest and I just drink to stop the thoughts, don’t know what to do. Out of cash, still finding a way, feel like shit. Guess I just want to say alcohol is such sh1t. Don’t relapse again, you’re too beautiful of a human to throw it all away. Wishing you all the best. Stay strong!
Hello Noa I've been following your TH-cam channel for several years now. Like you, I've struggled with alcohol since I was 13. I'm 33 now and like you, alcohol has long been a temporary outlet for my anxiety, depression and negative feelings. Like millions of people, addiction consists of trauma, which can have many different causes, but all result from an outcome you can't independently control in your favor, leading to the self-perception of being weak, I know you cross fit.... love it. I think since watching your last video, martial arts is the solution for you. Many of your traumas and fears are temporarily solved by your trained alcoholized self-protection. But actually a lot of it is just the doubt of self-protection. I think martial arts can solve a lot of that... Because if you dig deep enough, the self-doubt is the fear of not being able to protect yourself. I wish you the best. Love to you and you are not alone. Keep fighting. Love to you, Bryan
Noah I send you lots hugs healing and understanding. God bless you. I hope you are talking to someone about your fears and looking for solutions. You have so much to give as a sober Bignoknow. We love you 💞
Hello ☺️ I’ve been following your journey for a few years and I’m proud of you too 👍. Life can be very challenging even without substance addiction. I struggle with my mental health on and off along with lots of family issues, which is how I found your earlier videos. I find your voice calming and your ability to persevere is inspiring. Sometimes, we just need to keep going and that’s what I tell myself when I’m really having a tough time. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’ve been here for the ups and downs (that we all have) - I am lucky to hate the taste of alcohol, but can 100% relate to wanting to escape my thoughts and reality and different painful parts of being an adult and all the stress and responsibilities that come with it. I find myself overeating when I’m overwhelmed and finding other unhealthy ways of coping. Just here to say, thank you for the video my friend, keep going, I’m rooting for you and your journey to finding that peace and contentment we’re all striving for ☺️🙏 ❤❤❤
drinking has helped you in a big way and i recognize that. when we are in a state of survival or shutdown things like that can help. its about the nervoussystem. we can heal through it. and there are great teachers that can guide us trough it. Deb Dana, Peter Levine, Gabor Mate, Sarah Baldwin, Mastin Kipp, etc. much love brother
Thank you for this. You are not alone. It's cunning, baffling powerful. I'm glad you're back on the beam and being honest. I know how hard it can be telling telling everyone that you need help and you're coming back. I and I know you have dealt with anxiety. Don't be tricked by your thoughts. Same thing happened to me those old repetitive fears worries and feelings came pouring in. They arenthe same ones from a long time ago. Feels like you being sucked back in. You subconscious knows how to bring us bk to that state.
Ive been watching you brother for years now im 29 right now and been an alcoholic since 17 .. drinking as we speak but i appreciate this content you put out it helps a lot brother
Much love being sent your way sir, sure wish I was close enough to just give you an incredibly big bear hug. I wish you well on your journey and I’m so happy to see you back here and on a healing path again. Take care and god bless you and your family.
When you say relapse is part of your story, does that mean it will always have to be part of your story? I don't understand what you are going through. I have needed help in other areas of my life and I don't like that these things define me. Does alcoholic define who you are? Will there always be a relapse in your story? I hope not. I wish you well.
Hey I think the book "the myth of self-esteem by Albert Elis could be of some help. Relapsing doesnt mean you are a failure just that you made a mistake doesn't need to link it to shame , you dont need to beat yourself up, your human we all screw up sometimes being sober or drunk doesnt make you a bad or good person.
Been sober for about 2 months, my last binge lasted a week! Prior to that I'd been sober for about 18 months - have decided to wean myself off anti depression and anxiety meds. My financial health does not allow me to continue my prescription and I feel that I am better off without them, cannot substitute one drug with another!
I've been taking Buspar (Buspione) and it seems to be really a help as far as limiting the feeling of panic in thoughts. It's been a break from the exhausting litany of catastrophic thoughts. - Ken In Hawaii
Thanks again, Noah, for your honesty & sharing your journey! It is very helpful to so many others. I can't recall if you've ever tried EMDR? Do you think a sober living home may be helpful for you at this stage?
Btw Noah, I’m not sure what your opinion is on NA beers. But Peroni 0.0 is great. I encourage you to try it as a back up tool, it’s been helping me deal with cravings.
Do you feel this time your mindset is different or are you just repeating the same mind cycle that will lead you back to the alcohol? The mind is the devil at times…. You have to want this 1 million percent. You are sounding like you are struggling….keep the faith…
Hey Noah, been following you for years. I don't know if you have a relationship with God. But you might do well to stop believing everything 'wrong with yourself' is in fact your brain and to start believing intrusive thoughts can come from the devil. As a non Christian it might sound weird, but to Christians this is very common thought. Whenever I have intrusive thoughts, I repeat Jesus: "get behind me satan!". It's been far more effective than constant mentally wresting. It's also a huge shift for your identity to believe you aren't as broken as you might think, but instead your soul has an enemy than can only be overcome through prayer, spending time in scripture, and asking God for help and protection. God bless man, I hope you stay strong and find healing! ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.🙏.
Hello, Noah. I'm new to your channel and would like to know how are you coping with your depression? I've watched some of your older videos about suicide and I'm just curious to know more.
Hang in there Noah. We're dealing with a dreadful, progressive and often fatal disease. The illusion of being able to drink tries its best to get to us, but we just cannot/must not go there. We know the outcome too well.
I really need to quit. Again. Since my Mom passed away, staying sober has been a real struggle. My Dad is a recovering alcoholic and he's been sober for 5 years now. I wish I had his willpower. Thinking of you, Noah, and I wish you all the strength you'll need to kick the addiction demon out for good. I wish you all the best and stay strong.
It's not will power; you have to get to the root of why you continue to drink. It is a trauma from your past that you have not dealt with.....perhaps a childhood with an alcoholic father? I highly recommend Gabor Mate youtube on addiction, life changing. You got this man!
I just relapsed after 2 months and to be honest I feel great and all the depression and inner tension has gone away. But I know of course this can't continue, however being honest about how I function will hopefully help me in that battle...
I’ve been on this journey with you now Noah for over a decade. I used to watch your videos and honestly felt I was a lost cause, I thought I’d die a drunk. But I’m now coming up to 2 years without a drink. Your videos have definitely had an impact on me and my sobriety. Saddens me to see you in this position, because I feel like are roles have reversed or something. I have complete and utter faith in the fact that you are gonna figure this out brother.
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I've never been sober in 22 years. I pray I can be somebody with a purpose. I'm proud of you brother
Don't give up on yourself Matt, you'll get there, might not be tomorrow but it'll come.
Trying to stay sober over 5 years. 27 now. And im back at day 4. The relapses get worse and worse but im gonna keep fighting
We’re glad you’re here buddy. Not here as in a tough spot but here on TH-cam being vulnerable and open. I medicated with Xanax and klonopin for 6 years. Im now over 400 days off. You got this man you are capable.
Day 100 for me today. So grateful. Not looking back. It's getting easier. My anxiety is practically all gone, I can't believe it. First major holiday sober, check ✅
Hell yeah
I really hope you find peace . But sometimes especially coming from the uk , i think Americans can over analyse everything or think theres a therapy session or pill for everything, sometimes youve just got to quit for yourself and your family.
Or whatever is important to u .
Im an adult mental health nurse .
Ive seen people caught up in looking for answers pills therapies advice off other people wasting yrs and yrs , only going back to the beginning over and over . Just do it . Its in u .
15 years sober here! It is a new decision every single day. What helped me is saying it out loud to people. Anytime you can. It is ALL worth it ❤
In the beginning, when I was fighting the very same feelings you describe. I would always surround myself with long term sober Alcoholics. It gave me a sense of if they can do it than it's possible for me as well. I would talk with long term recovering alcoholic friends. I found that over the years of my recovery I began to discern those that were honestly trying to get better and those that were not yet ready.
My brain can be my worst enemy, so I reach out to strong committed people and most importantly I pray to remove evil thoughts and temptations.
I’ve never heard another man articulate how I feel more then this
This is exactly how this came across to me - this dude told my story. Not sure why I've never told it like him, maybe I've been too ashamed or too much of a bullshitter!
I was sober 45 days and went back. I am lying to myself saying this time is different. I have told myself this lie countless times.
Thank you from someone who struggled with the drink demon most of my life on and off. I tried everything to stop. I now have almost 6 months sober which is nothing less than a miracle.
Fear really is a huge part of the journey. “Binge sickness” is a such an accurate description. Thank you for your honesty. It’s comforting and inspiring. Keep asking the tough questions. You are not alone. ❤
Listen man first of all, rushes of fear rise, it's a part of you feeling afraid, I know this quitted few times cold turkey for my nths and restarted it at 2013 until I felt whole body dt ok, not hand shakes sweaty palms which I had in the past , so rushes of fear are a part of the untangling proccess ok , never had a sip since August 2017 so I have some experience
We are so proud of you. There is no better day than today.
Used to watch ur trt vids years ago before I went on. I just took my 6 month chip so looks like life has us on similar paths
Congrats on the 6 months!
@@bignoknow
sir, have u ever checked out Byron Katie? there are a few good hour+ long interviews of her on YT.
i hear u talking about your brain, seems u believe it to be wired a certain way for addiction?
and that that is where ur battle lies?
i would like to differentiate between your brain and your mind, the idea/concept of brain,experientually, is just that, conceptual,it is the
thoughts and thinking that you are _experiencing_
example? the voice(s) in your head,
please forget theories for a moment and simply notice that it's your minds thinking of certain thoughts _and your believing_ in those certain thoughts, again and again, that have led you
back to retox.
Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle describe being suicidely miserable
UNTIL THEY RECOGNIZED that it was the voices in their heads THAT WAS INFLICTING ALL THE TORMENT.
their videos can help anyone caught in this thinking loop,
and it's when we are motivated enough by the suffering that we may want to look beyond what our minds are serving us _and decide not to swallow it_ anymore..
btw, i'm gonna be 64 in couple months, got just over 3 yrs no drink this time and i credit the fact that i don't relapse today to practicing what i've learned from Tolle.
I watch your videos for many many years. You helped me with my anxiety a lot. I'm really thankful for you! Also I follow your journey with addiction, and in every past relapses I saw you doing, I was 101% sure, that eventually you will get back on track again and there will come time when your last relaps will be sooo soooo far away in the past!
This is so real. I resonate deeply
Hey Noah your videos have been very helpful for me you know one thing i struggle with is expressing myself because i always feel like i don't matter or im important to anyone and this also happened to me in middle school
Thanks Noah, I'm at 6 days today... started in the summer... tried to be an occasional drinker...geez... I was once 2 years booze free, your so right how alcoholism gets harder as you get older 💯... I'm back in AA after skipping meetings for 3 months .... love this video you just posted, it helped me alot ❤
Kudos on the 6 days. That’s a big deal! Wishing us courage.
I haven’t made it through the video yet… but you popped up again. Go figure. Been following you for years. Facing some charges, guess you could say I’ve hit rock bottom. No one was hurt.
It’s been a month since my arrest and I just drink to stop the thoughts, don’t know what to do. Out of cash, still finding a way, feel like shit. Guess I just want to say alcohol is such sh1t. Don’t relapse again, you’re too beautiful of a human to throw it all away. Wishing you all the best. Stay strong!
As an alcoholic, this resonated with me. Especially halfway through
Once relieved with freedom from activate addiction, we must learn a new way of life
Be proud of yourself 🎉❤
Hello Noa
I've been following your TH-cam channel for several years now. Like you, I've struggled with alcohol since I was 13. I'm 33 now and like you, alcohol has long been a temporary outlet for my anxiety, depression and negative feelings. Like millions of people, addiction consists of trauma, which can have many different causes, but all result from an outcome you can't independently control in your favor, leading to the self-perception of being weak, I know you cross fit.... love it.
I think since watching your last video, martial arts is the solution for you. Many of your traumas and fears are temporarily solved by your trained alcoholized self-protection.
But actually a lot of it is just the doubt of self-protection.
I think martial arts can solve a lot of that...
Because if you dig deep enough, the self-doubt is the fear of not being able to protect yourself.
I wish you the best.
Love to you and you are not alone.
Keep fighting.
Love to you,
Bryan
Noah I send you lots hugs healing and understanding. God bless you. I hope you are talking to someone about your fears and looking for solutions. You have so much to give as a sober Bignoknow. We love you 💞
are you normal?
What do you mean "Am I Normal"?
Hello ☺️ I’ve been following your journey for a few years and I’m proud of you too 👍. Life can be very challenging even without substance addiction. I struggle with my mental health on and off along with lots of family issues, which is how I found your earlier videos. I find your voice calming and your ability to persevere is inspiring. Sometimes, we just need to keep going and that’s what I tell myself when I’m really having a tough time. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’ve been here for the ups and downs (that we all have) - I am lucky to hate the taste of alcohol, but can 100% relate to wanting to escape my thoughts and reality and different painful parts of being an adult and all the stress and responsibilities that come with it. I find myself overeating when I’m overwhelmed and finding other unhealthy ways of coping. Just here to say, thank you for the video my friend, keep going, I’m rooting for you and your journey to finding that peace and contentment we’re all striving for ☺️🙏 ❤❤❤
drinking has helped you in a big way and i recognize that. when we are in a state of survival or shutdown things like that can help. its about the nervoussystem. we can heal through it. and there are great teachers that can guide us trough it. Deb Dana, Peter Levine, Gabor Mate, Sarah Baldwin, Mastin Kipp, etc. much love brother
You're doing great, brother. Keep it up!
Thank you for this. You are not alone. It's cunning, baffling powerful. I'm glad you're back on the beam and being honest. I know how hard it can be telling telling everyone that you need help and you're coming back. I and I know you have dealt with anxiety. Don't be tricked by your thoughts. Same thing happened to me those old repetitive fears worries and feelings came pouring in. They arenthe same ones from a long time ago. Feels like you being sucked back in. You subconscious knows how to bring us bk to that state.
Ive been watching you brother for years now im 29 right now and been an alcoholic since 17 .. drinking as we speak but i appreciate this content you put out it helps a lot brother
Thank you for your vulnerability and naked truth , I love you, mama🥰
You're giving a lot of men strength for many issues besides alcohol. Infinite Blessings Hoah!
I just saw this video and I popped in to tell you that you got this man.
Very inspiring how you deal with addiction, thank you for sharing ❤🔥🙏🏻
your story makes sense 💙💚💛
Much love being sent your way sir, sure wish I was close enough to just give you an incredibly big bear hug. I wish you well on your journey and I’m so happy to see you back here and on a healing path again. Take care and god bless you and your family.
When you say relapse is part of your story, does that mean it will always have to be part of your story? I don't understand what you are going through. I have needed help in other areas of my life and I don't like that these things define me. Does alcoholic define who you are? Will there always be a relapse in your story? I hope not. I wish you well.
Hey I think the book "the myth of self-esteem by Albert Elis could be of some help.
Relapsing doesnt mean you are a failure just that you made a mistake doesn't need to link it to shame , you dont need to beat yourself up, your human we all screw up sometimes being sober or drunk doesnt make you a bad or good person.
Been sober for about 2 months, my last binge lasted a week! Prior to that I'd been sober for about 18 months - have decided to wean myself off anti depression and anxiety meds. My financial health does not allow me to continue my prescription and I feel that I am better off without them, cannot substitute one drug with another!
I've been taking Buspar (Buspione) and it seems to be really a help as far as limiting the feeling of panic in thoughts. It's been a break from the exhausting litany of catastrophic thoughts. - Ken In Hawaii
Thanks again, Noah, for your honesty & sharing your journey! It is very helpful to so many others. I can't recall if you've ever tried EMDR? Do you think a sober living home may be helpful for you at this stage?
Your videos help more than you know. Keep making them.
Sometimes I fear I will lose this fight too. You are not alone.
I know that fear. You’re not alone either.
Thank you for sharing. Keep up the good fight. ❤
Btw Noah, I’m not sure what your opinion is on NA beers. But Peroni 0.0 is great. I encourage you to try it as a back up tool, it’s been helping me deal with cravings.
Do you feel this time your mindset is different or are you just repeating the same mind cycle that will lead you back to the alcohol? The mind is the devil at times…. You have to want this 1 million percent. You are sounding like you are struggling….keep the faith…
Hey Noah, been following you for years. I don't know if you have a relationship with God. But you might do well to stop believing everything 'wrong with yourself' is in fact your brain and to start believing intrusive thoughts can come from the devil. As a non Christian it might sound weird, but to Christians this is very common thought. Whenever I have intrusive thoughts, I repeat Jesus: "get behind me satan!". It's been far more effective than constant mentally wresting. It's also a huge shift for your identity to believe you aren't as broken as you might think, but instead your soul has an enemy than can only be overcome through prayer, spending time in scripture, and asking God for help and protection. God bless man, I hope you stay strong and find healing! ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.🙏.
Wow just finishing up the video and you said exactly what I was writing about. 16:14-16:21
❤ so much love to you and your journey.
Sober life ain't perfect, but way better than all that! 🙂
Well said. Similar boat.
Hello, Noah. I'm new to your channel and would like to know how are you coping with your depression? I've watched some of your older videos about suicide and I'm just curious to know more.
I watched RFK, Jr. video on his Transformation on TH-cam. It has stuck with me.
What’s up brother long time no see
Hang in there Noah. We're dealing with a dreadful, progressive and often fatal disease. The illusion of being able to drink tries its best to get to us, but we just cannot/must not go there. We know the outcome too well.
Never ending story
The sweet aint as sweet, without the sour brother 🙏
Do you think the TRT may be getting in the way?
I really need to quit. Again. Since my Mom passed away, staying sober has been a real struggle. My Dad is a recovering alcoholic and he's been sober for 5 years now. I wish I had his willpower. Thinking of you, Noah, and I wish you all the strength you'll need to kick the addiction demon out for good. I wish you all the best and stay strong.
Takes more than will power brother
It's not will power; you have to get to the root of why you continue to drink. It is a trauma from your past that you have not dealt with.....perhaps a childhood with an alcoholic father? I highly recommend Gabor Mate youtube on addiction, life changing. You got this man!
@@purpleturtle7477 Thanks!
What up man 😁🖐️
Rock on
I relate to it
👍
Well done. Try smoking weed. Seriously. Many people use it instead.
I just relapsed after 2 months and to be honest I feel great and all the depression and inner tension has gone away.
But I know of course this can't continue, however being honest about how I function will hopefully help me in that battle...
I appreciate your honesty. When you say "inner tension has gone away" what exactly do you mean? Like, now that you drank again you feel better?
I’ve been on this journey with you now Noah for over a decade. I used to watch your videos and honestly felt I was a lost cause, I thought I’d die a drunk. But I’m now coming up to 2 years without a drink. Your videos have definitely had an impact on me and my sobriety. Saddens me to see you in this position, because I feel like are roles have reversed or something.
I have complete and utter faith in the fact that you are gonna figure this out brother.
Hey at least you're not shooting up coke.