THIS IS USUALLY WHEN I RELAPSE... (Raw Talk)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ค. 2024
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This video is for educational and documentary purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose. The opinions expressed are that of the individual in the video and nobody else. Please consult a health care professional for all mental and physical healthcare needs.
I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
My Story
My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.
I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.
Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked
I don’t know whats worse, addiction to substances or addiction to negative thinking. They usually go hand in hand but I’ve been struggling with negative self talk lately. Doing my best to break the habit. Stay strong Noah
I don't have addiction, but I suffer from anxiety, and grew up with both my parents being alcoholics. Stay strong Noah, you are stronger than you think!
When I'm alone my thoughts run wild on so many negative things and just feel alone and feel horrible for hurting the people i love
Followed this channel for years. Have 14 days currently. Thinking through urges is helping. Its never 1 time getting drunk, then back to normal. One drink may be months of drinking and ditching everything I work hard for. Best of luck Noah
I’m 4 years sober in AA and very active in recovery… I just started doing test and deca and I’ve been watching your videos for guidance…. I didn’t know you where sober but I’m glad to hear that you are remember steps 8 and 9 are when we move outside our selves and closer to God stay the course my dear brother… To Thyne Own Self Be True
3 weeks sober today. in recovery in the 12 steps. first time attempting the 12 steps my life has already took a big 180. good video noah
the avoiding people thing is whats got me through for a while. I feel those situations are just taking a risk that could be easily avoided. feel its a more mature decision to just avoid it
You are so strong man. To be able to just speak from the mind like this and hit so many truths about this DISEASE(yes) it helps me stay grounded and gives a breath of fresh air knowing there is someone I can also relate with. 537 days sober from the bullshit poison, I don't even think about it anymore... what a blessing. but I also keep boundaries like you were mentioning. One single trip to detox was enough for me... I never want to feel stuck in that lonely rabbit hole of alcoholism EVER again. God bless you Noah and thanks for uploading this.
****I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO START!!!****
TOGETHER !!! ma guy im from the azores. never underestimate your reach. you talk about something that troubles the human race as a whole and we feel lonely as fuck in the most dark ironic paradox imaginable
I just clocked one year of sobriety on the 13th of June 2021. Power to you brother! I too have someone in my fellowship who has busted again recently and your words really helped. Step 9 making amends. Ooft! I made amends to my dad on the weekend and I'm making amends to my mum on the weekend. My brother and girlfriend were the hardest so far. I feel for you. That call from your sponsor was brutal!
Together
I like to build a beautiful house and then tear that S.O.B. To the ground and start back over again. I’ve relapsed hard at least 10 times. Today I’m nearly 2 years free from alcohol. This time is different. I know I will have lifelong sobriety. You got this too Noah
Together. 1 year sober today from alcohol However, I didn’t do any work on what caused the addiction. Now it’s time to connect and work on myself. I feel like I just “paused” my life. Also I was taking 5hr energy to numb pain the entire time. 😞. My college roommate died in January from alcohol at 37. I’m 38. Live in Michigan. I watch your videos. They have helped and as I work out I listen because I too have been struggling for years. Thank you. Jeff, from Michigan
This was a brave post. Thanks for the vulnerability and 1 year is still a HUGE deal. Very sorry to hear of your friend.
Together! I pray Dustin is okay! Noah you are an inspiration to me. I am not an addict, but I do have other issues that you help me with. Thank you for your channel. God Bless!
You truly are an incredibly impressive person. In my eyes, you've overcome so much adversity and keep pushing forward. I admire that so damn much and wish you nothing but the best moving forward. Your videos are very helpful and honest, they're very well done. Stay strong.
You are so well spoken, concise and self-aware without being narcissistic or self-depricating. An absolute joy to listen to!
I started going to meetings about 1 month ago and quickly got a sponsor. I had 12 days sober then fell victim to people, places, and things. I never realized how hard this was going to be, and feel very helpless at the moment. I am going to a meeting tonight, and trying not to fall victim to self hatred. Your videos have given me hope to stay sober today, and to press on. TOGETHER.
Relate to a lot you said.
When I start succeeding in sobriety I get restless and want to relapse, which is self sabotage
I’m more social and care more about others when sober, and am very self centered when using.
Also, stress tends to trigger relapses for me.
I think it’s good to focus on good habits and lifestyle and have intention of sobriety, but realize that addiction is a chronic condition and can flare up. I’ve relapsed on my drug of choice a few times in last months due to major life stress. But have gotten back on track pretty quickly and not gone into chronic addiction like I used to do
TOGETHER! Thank you for these videos! I am like a newborn baby experiencing so much like it’s for the first time!
Together…. One of the most powerful videos you’ve ever put up Son…. See how our God works….Ron’s call was God doing for us what we could not do for ourselves…Prayers for Dustin and all of our fellow alcoholics and Addicts that are struggling….There is a solution…REACH OUT!..🙏🏽♥️🙏🏽
Sooooo happy to see that you are going strong in your battle... congrats man! keep changing lives, keep being free of addiction and enjoy life without your poison prison.
On another level... after 6 1/2 years sobber, even after all this time and a lot of sobber parties, being the driver of the group, it has been tough this weekend... I wanted to socialy drink so much... Aaaaarrrgghhhh!! Alcohol is a life battle guys... stay aware, stay safe, stay strong and focused on your true self that is never suffering and is always complete. peace!
Stay strong TOGETHER!
I do the same! But for me it's because I sabatoge myself out of fear of failure....basically, my brain is so used to me having no strong self belief that it helps me prove myself right... it's crazy. I self sabatoge now in sobriety with food and I'm in school for nutrition 🙈
Thanks for what you do. I’ve watched you before I considered HRT / TRT.
Your videos helped me make that choice and helped me change my life in a positive direction
I’m 42 and had no idea I had things off with my levels.
Keep up the great work. Good bless
Noah, I am a struggling and functional but hopeful alcoholic, and how you handled that random call and the way you offered your support was amazing. I really appreciate you reacting and doing that. This “brief moment” analogy is so close to how I feel drinking now, and I hope I can break out and get closer to your thinking. You are a lighthouse.
Hey Noah, I missed this live :( :( I am praying so hard that your friend Dustin was able to get help!!!! I am glad he did reach out, I just wish my brother would hav been strong enough to reach out. I don’t know if you remember any of what I wrote (and then deleted) but he killed himself after 30 some years of sobriety after he had some medical issues and even though he told the doctors he didn’t want anything addictive, they gave him Tramodol with can be addictive but no one said that. The one thing he always said was if he ever slipped, it would be the last time. God I miss him so much!!!!
Together, hope you were able to help the individual at the end of the video, I needed a pick me up & you delivered like usual, thanks for the motivation and techniques (adding stability, I tend to find chaos) to try, God Bless
Together Noah!✊🏾
Together, thank you so much for this 🙏
Thank you Noah, I really needed to hear this tonight. *subscriber support hugs*
Together and Good luck with/to Dustin 🙏
G'Day mate this is Simon from Australia, I just started on Nortriproline, How did you find being on that medication ? I'm also a recovering alcoholic and relate to you very much. Thanks for having the courage to share about your life. Good bloke 👏
Big ups brother ❤️we love you
Our demons always come for us when we think we are safe or cured
TOGETHER!!! All caps because it's important. Hey Noah have a question for you about your alcoholism. When you drank was it always at a certain time of day? If so what did you do with that time now that you are sober to change the mindset of drinking. Also if you could let Dustin know that we are pulling for him and that he gets the help he needs.
Amo tus videos, love your canal. Videos . 💪🏻💪🏻♥️
Hi Noah hope everything is good with you! I have a question, something I was wondering for a long time now. I suffer from severe anxiety and everytime I just think about alcohol like drinking the next day or so my anxiety seem to go away, like the stiffness in the neck, aches in my back, the headache my vision clear up and everything, but then when I maybe decide I won't drink all the symptoms come back one by one slowly. Is this something u recognize? Any tips?
Thanks!
Together! 🙏❤🤝
Together! Love this content! ❤️
Thank you for sharing this
Together 💓💓. Love watching you and your updates :) your a beautiful strong person! I've had a anxiety set back where I'm icolating as I get overwhelmed and angry and impulsive around people but I have many appointments and family commitments coming up so feeling so many emotions. I wish one day I can have your outlook and courage
You’ve got more courage than you know. I’m up down and all around like everyone else between my ears but my ability to regulate and maintain consistent behavior has improved with time and practice. I’m always rooting for you.
Together.Relapsed couples days ago was 7 months sober it’s a lonely feeling
Those were still you 7 months!! It’s a new day.
Your never alone bru
I appreciate it 🙏🏻
What a brave soul you are brother 🙏
How I'm doing with recovery: I started thinking that, maybe in the future I could take shrooms, and smoke weed and live a crazy chaotic party life. But that only lasted a short while and I started thinking that none of those things are who I am anymore. I'm okay with how things are and I don't need to be this unhinged antisocial party guy but can be that person with in a healthy way instead. Because ultimately this is who I am now, and I don't even want to get high anymore because I have changed since I used to do those things.
Together!
I'm also in recovery. Are you using AA or a non 12 step? Very curious.
**Writing this in the first minute, so idk if you mention it later on**
TOGETHER bru🙏
Together. ❤️
Just in time
Together. 🏋🏻♀️
Together
Can you talk about supplements that can help with mental health as well as cravings? I've noticed GABA, 5HTP, L-Thealine, B complex, ashwaganda all help with regulating emotions instead of just white knuckling through it
❤️
*TOGETHER*
SALUDOS FROM GREECE 🙏
Together 💞
Bro tell me the ads are not yours is youtube
Together❤🤲
Together… I need prayers and thoughts I’m day 1
I would love you as my sponsor
What did you go into rehab for? Sorry, just curious.
Alcohol
@@bignoknow ok. Thank you. I certainly wasn't trying to be nosey or disrespectful. I've struggled with depression and anxiety too. Not fun.
I'm currently struggling with smoking.
Find help. Never need to struggle alone.
@@bignoknow i just don't know from whom.
@@SanelKeys Therapy can help, It isn’t only for us crzy people It can help with life for all of us. I’d caution that you research Some therapist have no clue about life outside of their office
you remind me of brad cooper..
Suggestion: Read Allen Carr's book
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