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Expanding DONG! - Three Kingdoms: Total War
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ค. 2019
- dong zhou just looks like he gives really big hugs and you know what I'm down I want big romance chinese daddy hugs
Hope you all enjoyed some Total War: Three Kingdoms! I'm considering doing a review on the game but I'm not as experienced in Total War games compared to Paradox. Still, I've got an idea for a pretty silly game, so there will at least be one more video. Rip Dong Zhuo Death Boy. He never lives long.
Game: store.steampow...
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#totalwar #threekingdoms #dongzhuo
Randomly killing the guy whose plot would have caused Lu Bu to kill you out of unnecessary cruelty. I salute you.
Oddly enough, being a bigger dick than the actual Dong Zhou actually saved him.
If you go into the interface options and turn on "alternative unit cards", they have actual pictures instead of the floating weapon thingy.
It should really be the default imo.
We need to like this. And comment to make it go up on the list me boi.
this is important
I can't wait for the unit card mods.
Rimmy, lad, pin this.
THIS IS CRUCIAL INFORMATION.
It's made for units to be very easily distinguishable after they got flak for the Britannia units that looked the same.
-me who has watched the Oversimplified video on this war
-sees him recruit Lu Bu
Oh No...
And Boo Hoo, Lu Bu, was killed. Which lead to more economic downturn.
This enraged his father, who by this point was an old ass man, so he let it go. And then died of a lung hemorrhage.
@@DippKlippGuy And then we can all get feather hats. WHAT? I mean, we could all make fun of Rimmy's pronunciation of names, and he can buy us all feather hats! WHAT?
Dude... so uncool.
@@DippKlippGuy But your handwriting is horrible! Are you sure you want to send this? Yes... He's gonna lick my... Ew...
Dong:
Starting situation: HARD
Unfortunately, is does get less *HARD* as Dong ages.
*ROCK FUCKING HARD*
They knew what they were doing
9:30 The plot to kill Dong Zhuo begins.
9:42 The plot to kill Dong Zhuo ends.
I was scared Rimmy would've actually selected the death option
"That was like the cadence of Sseth, he's awesome by the way"
*The merchants guild thanks you.*
I swear, this 'merchants guild' of his always seems to be everywhere, controlling every comment section from the shadows
You can find the merchant's guild. But not him.
It's as if he's been erased from the internet.
"We're going to be playing Romance, which is more about good characters but your units are shit..."
later
"I'm not even sure why the units matter, just look at these characters."
Rimmy: Crow Crow
Me: *I T ' S N O T HOW Y O U S A Y I T!*
Still better than tommyk calling him Chow Chow which is literally a fookin dogo
@@mexicoball2529 😂😂
Rimmy: I know people are going to tell me I pronounce this wrong...
Me: It's ok. It's a difficult pronunciation. Off the top of my head I can think of at least a dozen ways to...
Rimmy: Crow Crow.
Me: ...
What the FUCK!?
@@mexicoball2529 that is actually close to the real pronunciation
"KILL HIM! Wait, w-wut? why did I do that?!" Rimmy, you would make the best mad emperor
More like a drunk confused emperor
*Almost like your over compensating for something rimmy..* 🤔
The lack of three kingdoms era warlords in modern Australia?
RIMMY! STOP playing with your Dong!
Romance mode is essentially for those people who want Dynasty Warriors: Strategy Edition.
Thats what i want.
Well they are based of the same thing: Romance of the 3 Kingdoms.
Oh God...
Rimmy: *Pronounces Dong Zhuo's Name like a Chinese Ork*
Me: I don't know why but that fits him so well..
Cue bonzi buddy aggressively spamming "EXPAND DONG"
There's alternative unit cards available in the settings
Rimmy you played on Romantic mode, where heroes are more important than units or tactica
"expanding dong", me everytime I see a cute girl
Congratulations on spotting The Joke
ThomasTurner69 can’t you also describe an 8 year old to be a ‘cute girl’?
@@canunot7643 oh no.
@@canunot7643 Yes
@@canunot7643 Ohh no-
wait you said you going to china? just remember nothing happened in tiananmen square on the 4th of june 1989
Also never mention Winnie the Pooh.
So is it okay to say that Winnie the Pooh was killed on Tiananmen Square in the 4th of June 1989 ?
@@sephikong8323 that would imply that something happened that day. Nothing happened. Carry on.
@@Kevin-bs5tv This day never happened, the 3rd of June was followed by the 5th of June
The CCP wants to know your location
We need a mod that allows to recolor Yellow Turban Rebellion into red so that Rimmy can make a communist video... or ISP...
And Vale should probably marry Lu Bu to Zheng Jiang and make them double team every other lord in the game because apparently they're two strongest duelists with no counter when together.
I've actually done this. Married Lu Bu as soon as I became outlaw and no one stood a chance.
A reminder: DO NOT PURSUE LU BU!
also a reminder do not attack diao chan when lu bu is on the field
China: Has names that sound like slang words.
TH-camrs: DONG!
Rimmy: "I can hear the comment now "tHaTs NoT HoW U sAy It !!!1!""
Me: oh come on how badly could you mess up Cao Cao?
Rimmy:"We got Kro kro over here"
Me: oh..... that's how badly
The recruiting of lu bu is funny because historically when he changed sides he usually killed his new boss if I remember correctly.
About the minister guy that was offering his daughter that you killed, he was actually plotting to use her to get Lu Bu and Dong Zhou to fight. Good job.
18:00 best part of the video (thank me later)
To be fair, the Three Kingdoms period was... Like, what, 20 years or so? You're not gonna expect a whole lot of changes in army composition in 20 years pre-Industrial Revolution, unless that Major Change was the main reason that war was rememeber'd (Which isn't the case for the Three Kingdoms period)
So having the same units at the start and at the end is... Expected. Now, whether that's good *game design* is another question; progression is generally expected. And while your units might be mechanically better by the end because of reforms and buildings, it doesn't quite have the same gamefeel (why is nobody talkin' about the GameFeel?) as a Shiny New Horsie or Nice Spears or something like that.
Ssethtzentach(???) And the merchants guild, best reviews 😍
HEY HEY THERE PEOPLE
The fact that he never used Lu Bu's unique ability is truly incredible.
Something something DO NOT PURSUE LU BU
“Siege battles are good again”
Wish I knew what it was like to fight a siege battle.
When attacking;
99 times out of 100 the enemy sallies forth and you have a field battle otherwise it’s easily delegatable if they don’t.
When defending;
99 times out of 100 the enemy just starves you out, forcing either a field battle or just making you surrender.
Yet to fight a defensive siege battle 🙁
Which is really the historical preference. Assaulting a fortress meant mad casualties.
Btw pretty sure Lu Bo was the guy known for fighting for emperors then backstabbing them and repeat. Later on he got executed when he got caught after running away from a battle he was loosing and then executed.
Yes. That's him. He first backstabbed Dong Zhou after Wang Yun promised his daughter to both him and Dong Zhou. And then sought Sanctuary with Liu Bei, where he took control of Xiapi from the inside. Then ran to Cao Cao, who then executed him.
@@therealdaemion9094 Ye i havent been reading history in years xd
I'm so glad that you also have good taste in roleplaying webshows.
Still miss Tudagub.
Rimmy I know this is not gonna be found but Enclave Reborn on OWB got on update. You can reform the USA.
I believe there is a setting to change the unit cards in the menu
Shamefur dispray!
2:22 "He has, like, vassalised nearly half the map in nations and I don't know why." Silly Rimmy, why go to the effort of fighting someone with your own army when you can get your vassal swarm to do it for you? The question is whether there's a way to allow you to eat your vassals like in EU4.
5:45 I'm... 95% certain that is something that is _explicitly spelled out for you when you choose between Romance and Records mode._
9:15 It _looks_ fairly simply to tell the difference; edicts you've issued have blossoms around them, ones you can issue but haven't yet glow and ones you haven't unlocked yet are greyed out
9:50 Funnily enough, he _did_ have some plot in mind. Historically, that's how Dong Zhou died, as a result of a falling-out between him and Lu Bu over Wang Yun's daughter. So... good job avoiding that, I guess.
17:45 Wow, that's a cluttered desktop...
It sounds like you're genuinely having fun with this game. Which is great! It's exactly what I want to see.
How I expect the conversation between Dong Zhuo and Wang Yun went:
- Welcome Mighty Dong Zhuo. May I present my beautiful daughter?
- Who the hell are you? Why are you presenting me that chick?
- It's... a tribute to show my
- WHY? YOU THINK I NEED TO BE INTRODUCED TO GIRLS? IS IT BECAUSE I'M FAT?
- Nonononono! of course not!
- GUARDS! THIS MAN KILLED ME FAT! TREASON! KILL HIM NOW!
- Nooooooooooooooooooo
Later, when Lu Bu finds Diaochan:
Hey cutie, I heard your father was killed by an egomaniac. Me too! Want to hang out?
this reminds me so much of shogun 2
i love the hell outa shogun 2 and yee
records of the three kindoms: history
romance of the three kindoms: a general defeating an entire army by killing one guy
With the decrees, the ones you already have have a bunch of blossom petals, you ones you can unlock have a couple of petals.
i actually like the ui funny enough
9:53 (I believe) that’s a reference to the betrayal of Lu Bu; Apparently, a governor had a very beautiful daughter. The governor offered her to Lu Bu. (BTW, Lu Bu is known for betrayal) The governor then offered her to Dong Zhou, who took her as a concubine, and the Lu Bu killed Dong Zhou.
why I heard it the govenor then invited dong assuming/setting him up to claim her despite the warning the man very meakly tried to offer not quite getting out that it was lubu's girl he was stealing
9:50 Now, to be completely fair to Long Dong Swole, that girl was the guy's daughter in disguise and he was trying to use her to drive a wedge between Dong and Lube Boob. Hiring her is the reason Dong Zhuo dies.
The reforms UI is actually very easy to understand... if there are no blooms or buds you can’t issue that yet, if there are buds but they haven’t bloomed it is issuable now or the next turn you can issue, if there are cherry blossoms bloomed all around it, it’s already issued, simple
"my heroes are so strong" gets dong zhou and his sentinel wounded against trash.
Total War Three Kingdoms crashing and burning just when it started getting interesting is a good prediction of how CA ultimately handled this game.
The Song, the rulers of china when the mongols took over, they gained their land by annexing their vessels and invading those who refused with overwhelming forces. The last Song Emperor was suffocated to death at age 5 by Kublai Khan on the request of Ahmed, his finance minister.
Rimmy
"Oh I love the Romance mode, it's like Warhammer, you have your heroic units that can really fuck shit up"
also Rimmy
*"WHY IS THE ENEMY GENERAL ROUTING MY ENTIRE ARMY THIS IS BULLSHIT"
*
remember that you have towers if only enemy commanders are left.
Good video, disagree with you about a lot of the UI stuff though. So many of the basic controls that a lot of people struggle to remember are all visible on the Escape screen, which makes it a one stop shop for new players. Negotiate button could go up underneath their portrait on the right hand side of the screen, but I think it also makes sense for it to be beside the person you're selecting. CA said unit cards are that way to a) help see at a glance what the unit's role is (why the axemen are shadows aside from the axes and shields, etc), but also to help you dehumanize yourself to your troops, as the game is about the generals primarily, which I think also makes sense. (Though alternative unit cards do also exist. :p)
My only complaint is I cannot click the map to negotiate, I have to manually select the name of one of the 100+ factions
I've heard the exact opposite about the UI from most videos I've seen on the game, especially about the tech tree
My dude they had the army supply thing in Thrones of Britannia
- plays on romance
- gets entire garrison shit on by two heroes
Also rimmy: "this is the dumbest thing ever!"
4:16 well to be fair lu bu a bad example to make he was famous for accepting his lord as a adopted father then betraying them and accepting his new lord as his father then betraying them, also warlords like Cao Cao also basically said work for me or die, many chose to work for him
On the one hand: YAY Rimmy!
On the other hand: Oh fuck it's the biggest tyrant of the Han Dynasty....
Don't worry, there is no way you could pronounce Cao Cao's name any worse than Extra History mangled it
Rimmy:Buyersman?
Me: you mean customer?
The OG rollplay dnd campaign, those were good times! 17:35
I found this video by searching for “Rimmy Dong”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
"units don't matter" me who stack wiped 4 stacks with one stack that was filled with creme de la creme units.
glad to know im not the only person who cant navigate that damn reforms screen
UI is a bit confusing at first, but most of stuff, they either nailed it or gave you alternative rightly away, which is something we shouldn't bash but praise them for, because I don't think we gonna get all that stuff in next Total War. You can hide screen tips, there are alternative units pics, you can alter amount of blood and gore in this one.... that really focking good. The options.
Total War : Dynasty Warrior.
Lu Bu actually was known for joining up with his captors and then betraying them later
So this is 20 mins where Rimmy complains about Total War: Three Kingdoms... *BUT ITS REALLY GOOD!*
Never change Rimmy
How do you not know how to pronounce everybody's favorite warlord: Cow Cow?
I love that the artillery in total war games are no longer fucking snipers
9:36 "you thought I was just a thot but it was me Diaochan!"
I realy enjoyed your review of Imperator Rome, well presented and straight to the point, so I'm confident that even though you said you have less experience with TW than Pdx, a review of a game you clearly have fun playing would be realy enjoyable.
General Dong Dong returns. Further into the past
Use towers to shoot generals, works surprisingly well. Of well Defend just outside of the towers, you might sacrifice a bit of a choking point but plus side if the general stays out front the tower will kill him.
"You could just crush me beneath yourself"
1:47
That's actually very realistic. Yuan Shao came from a wealthy family, good political standing, and he was asked to lead a coalition of 19 lords against Dong Zhuo. Him leading a ton of lords as his vassals is in-leeping with the actual history of Three Kingdoms.
I really wish they'd make another game like Empire or Napoleon but with all the improvements they've made to the series. Like just imagine a siege of one of the major European cities, with militia barricading the streets. Like imagine that was the way revolutions went, rather than an army just spawning somewhere, you had a bunch of rebels or militia rising up in a city and you had a sort of city battle where both sides are inside the city, th rebels trying to establish positions and take certain areas and the Loyalist forces trying to clear them out. Then if you lose the battle it spawns a rebel army that moves around etc.
Rimmy: I want a siege battle
Universe: How about no
You can use the alternative unit cards
I need more of this game rimmy I’m already getting withdrawal symptoms
So you not know that lu bu’s like, personal hobby, is betrayal?
Hating on the highly artistic ui seems to be an unpopular opinion.
I didnt think you'd dislike it that much, since its quite nice on the eyes. And the reform tree is perfectly fine with trading and commerce in blue, military in red and so forth.
You could've fooled me reading the comments section.
Trebuchets are a type of catapult among with ballista and monogers which are normal catapults
Rimmy knows Sseth. I can die happy now.
Shogun Total War - everybody speaks Japanese.
Three Kingdoms Total War - everybody speaks English with a bad accent.
There are options to make everyone speak Chinese
*Shamefurr Dispray in the distance*
Yeah, Shogun 2 NEVER had that problem.
Seth mentioned: swell with weird jokes and the merchant's guild.
If you knew about Lu Bu, you probably would have decided against recruiting him.
I had the very same crash again on siege battle,the moment before i went into youtube and watched your video :)
7:48
shang tsung hasnt morphed yet shh
China
Pros: has great concepts and innovations
Cons: Cares little to not at all to details
Personally I think the UI is fine.
Other than the diplomacy menu as you showed, it's disgusting.
Why couldn't they have kept the same many they have had since basically shogun 2
I love the UI I have no issue with it
*Rimmy plugs SsethTzeentach in this video*
OH BABY YES!
You're called Rimmy - DOWN UNDER for a reason.
3:43 OH GOD WHY MY EYES BLEED WITH PAIN AND SUFFERING
love the outro mate
TH-cam Recommendations : Expanding Dong
Me: You have my attention.
"T-that's not how y-you say it!"
"I don't care!"
I think I'm in love
Rimmy-Crow Crow
Me:
WE CALL HIM COW COW
11:38 well ackshuallllllllllyyyyyyyy a trebuchet is a type of catapult
“Crow crow”
I found that you have to focus a lot to unlock units, cause they are so spread out in the reform tree as opposed to the older games. But the actualy high-tier units a a lot better than the low-tier ones
I think Timmy turned into a demon at 0:32
501 kill count?
*Laughs in Dynasty Warriors*
Are you shitting me? Cherry blossoms=reasearched, barren twig=not researched