Although it came very late in my life, I’m sooo grateful to have finally realized that I don’t need anyone to validate my trauma. I was often disappointed to discover, I would receive little validation or acknowledgement of trauma from my siblings as I had expected.As if there is a ‘trauma yardstick’ to measure my or anyone’s trauma against! I finally realized my experience of trauma is just that -my experience of trauma. It is irrefutable by any outside party. This may seem incredibly obvious to some but it is of one of the most empowering realizations I have made on this journey.
Hi Daniel, It is so refreshing to hear someone say that they are "not big on forgiveness..." For so long, I think I have been stunted in my healing process because I've been focusing on forgiving, instead of my own healing. Now that I am focusing on my healing, I am doing better. I just wanted to thank you for your comment.
Especially since people aren't owed forgiveness and some abuse is not forgivable. Putting the responsibility on the afflicted to forgive their bullies is often hard because its not an obligation in the first place.
Yea I fuckin learned this myself, pardon the swear im just kinda blunt about how I willed myself back into living. Took 10 years roughly, well a little earlier but it was done in short increments of time for like 5 years before it became anything real. Man watching your videos has been so good to me, im thankful really. childhood trauma is the worst. It's why the world is twisted as it is today
@KatiDinge hi kati --- i'm not big on forgiveness at all. i am more into healing my own wounds and moving forward. grieving, mourning, all that. i think i have a youtube video on forgiveness somewhere.... if you search for mackler and forgiveness... also some essays about it on my website! all the best to you! daniel
Wooo! I realize my habits I've developed to numb were a protective mechanism of feeling unsafe. I found a way to close my heart so I wasn't emotionally vulnerable to my parents because they showed and told me my emotions didn't matter because they didn't have the capacity to. People who are doing the inner work are truly the real superheroes because we are choosing to not borrow our parents'/childhood hurts
This video was posted 13 years ago. It is very helpful. Very creative in the presentation of a very serious topic. Journaling is a helpful means, but writing poetry is also therapeutic.
Hi Daniel, Thank you so much for this. Especially for acknowledging (and validating my thoughts about) how unhealthy societal norms are. And that most (if not all) of us are deeply traumatized, but it is so taboo that mose people honestly believe they are not. I feel as though what society terms mental illness is in fact the symptoms of how sick our culture is, manifesting in individuals. Thanks again.
And you will always find the root of that sickness in the pursuit of money and national patriotism idolatry, in the making of weapons of mass destruction, in the desperate incentives of capitalism, which promotes excesses, forced slavery, fear of the neighbor, the vanity of life, deceitful and wrong "values", rivalry, commercial warfare, being cold and psychopathic, "nothing personal, just business" (but your aare making businesses with human beings not machines AND i THINKK THAT IS PRECISELY WHY THE ONLY LOGICAL CONSEQUENCE OF EVOLVED CAPITALISM, AS WE ARE CURRENTLY SEEING IT CAN BE AI (ARTIFITIAL INTELLIGENCE)) and especialy it induces the belief, by force of repetition, that you dont have ever enough, otherwise the anhililation of the system itself. The is NO VANITY FAIR, to be vain you need others to feel less than, so that the vain makes sense. Very few are willing to blame the economic system for having the most direct repercusions in the mental health aspect of individuals. Of course, in such system you will get sick, nor even God and morality could beat capitalistic freaks and promoters and its consequences as facts demonstrate- Capitalism nis not just private property, it induces psychopathic beliefs in all that participate in its incentives: all are my rivals, i am here to serve myself, all that is important is my personal gratification, it is all for my pleasure, others matter as long as they have money in their pockets, or something to offer, WHEN I WANT IT AND EXACTLY HOW I WANT IT, if not they are just garbage, they belong in the streets BECAUSE they are lazy" ANYONE WHO PURSUITS MONETARY GAIN, PURSUITS EXCESS AS WELL BECAUSE CAPITALISM MEANS TO HAVE EXCESSES THUS TO SEEK EXCESS AND WE ALL KNOW THE DEVIL/EVIL DWELLS IN EXCESSES
Thank you for your TH-cam work which I'm just discovering. Almost everything you say resonates so deeply with me. Much more value than most of the therapists have ever given me. It's only recently Ive been able to admit to myself that I was the scapegoated discarded child because my family will not accept me in the family cult anymore. You were a beautiful child, and I'm so sad to see yet another story like mine.
continuing...I'm still working through layers upon layers of further trauma that happened through getting ill. I was also a Reiki master and seemed to be on the wounded healer journey...trauma I passed onto my children. The learning cycles & the processes I learnt, not all great phases, I realised I will still get it wrong,trigger old stuff until i fully work through it all. This hasn't been encouraged or supported by many. I continue to recognise my patterns & causes of initial trauma. TY :o)
Hi Daniel, just want you to know I can relate to so many things you talk about. I started journaling at the ripe age of 43 and now I write poetry. It helps a lot. You were so cute a baby.
Children who live with narcissists KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that they cannot share their true thoughts in a journal because the narcissistic parent has no issue taking the journal and reading it, or even sharing it with the family. Not at all surprised that you had to drill a hole and put a combination lock on it.
I've been finding your videos and essays very challenging and very helpful. I know of no other place where these perspectives are expressed this way. I recommend your work to others whenever I think they will be open to it. Thank you for putting this out there.
hi carissa---thanks for the comment---and that's AWFUL about being in the "top 1%". your positive feedback inspires me---not always easy to be so honest publicly! thanks---daniel
Ive been in Berlin & meditating and it came up when i was about 16 and in the family backyard i planted some tomato plants and they were growing and i was proud. then in a rage my late father ripped them out, the rage i felt and drove it inwards, to where? he was a boxer i couldnt beat him. i still feel the world is somehow unbeatable from that and other events. i have been imagining the situation and sending it light and healing. ive healed a lot over time but its still there
hi tzivsharet---i love journaling, oh yeah! it's been such a strong way for me to develop a healthier relationship with myself... thanks for the kind feedback----all the best, daniel
Journaling is terrifying. I did a lot in my younger years and the 4th step in recovery group. I even told my abuser that it wasn't ok to treat me the way she had. At that time she actually apologized and cried. But presently she is memory impaired and will still lash out in anger. I so wish I could address these outbursts appropriately in those moments. I end up doing the gray rock technique and/ or hanging up. Did you ever find it helpful to ask your abuser why they would say something so hurtful? How do you manage to keep distance from a parent who is aging and still needs help? I want to protect myself, and still be a good daughter.
I foresee this challenge on my horizon, too, of being compassionate toward my mother as she ages poorly as narcissists do. Fortunately for me that burden should land on my brother as I've already done more than my share of parent caretaking. At least now I can be at peace with her suffering. Prior to this journey, I would have felt guilt and obligation. In regards to addressing the perpetrator, here is a quote from Martin Miller's book The True Drama of a Gifted Child: "When clients call their parents to account for their offenses, when they confront them with their 'crimes,' then they basically remain locked in their childlike position. When parents indeed have acted criminally, abusively or violently, against their children, it may be appropriate in such cases to bring them to justice. But as a rule, confrontations with parents about their childrearing misconduct are unproductive and do not bring about change for clients. The inner dialogue with parents leads much further." It's a great book. Daniel does an interview with Martin Miller on this channel. Wishing you the best in your journey.
You helped me understand so many things about myself and my own journey i have to say thank you Daniel. You’re about to help so many people also your videography is awesome! 💚
@jruizdemena i think people who are less split off tend to remember their dreams better, but not always. sometimes i have seen people who are very split off but remember their dreams, but without so much emotional content -- or have no emotional connection to their dreams at all. other people are extremely dissociated to the point of psychosis, and their psychosis IS their dream -- they live it in their waking hours. i haven't learned much about dreams in books - personal experience is better
Feels like in different circumstances I have gone through a similar journey. I was raped, once when i was 18 & again when i was 31 after a bad marriage. I went on to finally get counselling in art college, which was in itself therapy as an artist the need to create etc. I went on to get my art degree & later learn counselling skills and journalling entered my life...I went about thinking I was better than i was for a while till I lost my health and my looks as such...I had more to work through
Thanks for sharing. I've done similar things to you but less consistently. Life sort of grabs you and has a away of overwhelming good practices. I wish more people talked about this stuff so folks had more experience and tools to deal with life, such as it is.
Man.. your stories about working in psych are talking about exactly wha I experienced as a patient..l I just watched your how to be a good psychiatrist.. I scored 100% on the test just answering by what I have personally experienced... I experienced almost ALL of the things you said you can do in each situation. I really want to sue the psych system.., or these pharmaceutical companies... it’s unbelievable to me that the things they do are legal and that even worse... when you try to raise awareness about it people just act like you’re a whack job
My journals (called diaries then) go back to the 1960's. When I re-read them it really depresses me. However, when I marry up my Journals (running record) with my Dream Journals, my dreams began to make so much sense. Somehow I don't want to destroy them because they represent my inner child & burning them would be like killing off part of me. After we've done all our "grief work" do you recommend burning them & burying them in the garden or casting the ashes into the wind as a final goodbye to the pain & suffering written within? I still can't seem to let them go. Does that mean there is still grief work to be done & redone?
I start to write about my life when I was 14 but I burned many of those books because I did not myself on those paper any more, but I quite this work after too bad period of my life on 3 years ago. I was afraid about someone find them, but after watching this I am thinking about start writing for myself again. maybe this can help me to healing from those horrible experiences I had around 3 years ago.
Wow i too kept a journal and unlike you i didn’t protect it from prying eyes. I’m personally in agreement with Prince Harry for telling his story. People who call him a out for betraying his family. How about the family that allowed a child to be so traumatized. I’m so happy to see your videos so many suffer in silence living wounded even having children who they go on to traumatize. I have apologized to my daughter. I encourage to seek help and to come to me now that i’m in a better place. Telling your story is healing ..
I have BPD and really appreciate your thought and vids. I've recently been convinced to start a DBT course via CMHT. They claim it is my best hope to improve the quality of my life. I'm 55 and have experimented with various different approaches but feel worse than ever. I found gestalt useful in helping me understand the significance of childhood trauma but have mainly relied on self-critique. Therapies which tended to concentrate on specific areas of my psyche have often done more harm than good. DBT concerns me as I feel my non-conformity to the current system and sense of injustice to be healthy while "blind acceptance is a sign of those who simply stand in line". So, I'll approach DBT as an adjunct to my self-critique rather than a "cure".
Oh that’s what I’ve been told by my family, relatives that I’m pain in the butt that I complain and came up with some trauma from childhood, they call me crazy for that, so sad when there is no one in your circle able to understand you, and I thought that something was wrong with me my whole life
dig it---thanks kuuuuuul20 glad you enjoyed it- daniel p.s. you asked where i was all these years. my answer: thinking these thoughts i share here, but too scared to be public with them...at least in video form.
Daniel, thank you so much. I really appreciate your videos. I was wondering what books you can recommend to me that will aid me in the healing/grieving process. Thanks again
i was beat by my father as a child, he was A BAD gambler. i did become an alcoholic and addict for 17 yrs. i was violently robbed in the projects. slashed with a razor, punched ,car jacked, ect. i didn't care about what could happen, i just wanted the drugs. i'm in aa now with 2 yrs of sobriety, i feel a lttle better, but i'm gonna try a 1 on 1 therapist,because i still have a lot of anger and maybe that can clear me up. my father was a real ass when i was growing up!
Hi Daniel .. I agree about child trauma thing ... this is kind of my take (my responds to your video) about this issue: My Thoughts on Process of how do I become a bully
@Paseosinperro hi Jorge -- i'm no sure i understand your comment... maybe you are speaking about people speaking out about the horrors of capitalism and industrialism and corporatism...when really their issue is internal -- their unresolved traumas...and they are projecting it outward onto the world and society... is that it? all the best to you --- daniel
So you are saying that I dont remember my dreams bc I dissociate while I'm sleeping? Thats so weird. I do remember only sometimes if I am suddenly awoken. Hmmm
Hi Daniel, I dont know if you deal with lazyless about journaling. I feel like I have a lot of things to work on but, at the same time, I feel lazy about writting, I have this tendency of going out and do something And one can think that may be yes, you need to go out and other things instead of writting, but, at the same time I think "i cant do nothing properly if before I dont resolve these things". May be is not good to force ourselves but, at the same time, I think is something to be done
I feel you, cause I`ve been in a similar situation. My boyfriend screamed at me, telling me that I ruined his whole life, even if he knew me like only 5% of his life, and although I wasn`t a good partner, I really tried my best to be honest with him and was working on my traumas a lot and going through therapy. There was a lot of abuse and gaslighting in out relationship... It`s been 1,5 years since we parted our ways, and I feel like I more or less got over it. I will always miss him: he is a great person and artist, and I feel like we shared a lot of moment of great affinity, closeness and vulnerability. But being safe from his toxicity and drug addiction is more important.
I don't really have any traumatic experiences or anything serious... But i feel like i have something that i'm hiding but i don't know that i'm actually hiding something. I thought about getting therapy so i could just talk to someone, because im VERY social, but ever since dropping all social connections due to my obsessive behavior with video games, i really have no one to talk to. So i sit here wanted to express things... I tried journaling but it doesn't really help. Eh... any ideas?
A padlock is not good enough. People can cut the part of the diary off that holds the padlock and then open it up. Its much better to use a word processor with a password for your diary.
Hi Daniel, how are you? I would like to know your opinion of the world concentratios, here in Spain, in New York,.... from the perspective of the trauma. For me, even when there things which need to be said about banks or democracy, is many times a way which people express their own internal shit more than a real social concern Jorge
@dmackler58 the reality is that the majority of people are highly traumatized - 1 out of 3 girls will be raped or sexually abused by the age of 18 ,and 1 out of 5 boys - and those are only the ones that are reported. it's unfortunately the norm in our culture, but trauma is trauma, be it growing up in an alcoholic home, or sexual abuse, or any trauma, it is harmful on many levels, and the inner child needs to be healed and nurtured to heal the trauma.
daniel mackler just read about muslims daily routine and tell me if this routine has got to do with trauma for me i think it is the only possible way to heal it entirely but let me know your opinion . respect .
1:38 I notice how you bowed when you got up and it seemed kinda uncomfortably performative, and oddly enough that's exactly the mannerism, or maybe rather "way of moving" I had when I was this age. It's very odd, but there's almost a dissociative mania to it if I'm reading it right. Sorta like trying to force yourself to be having fun when you know inside you feel terrible.
Me too _had to find a way too hide my writting _ the psychopaths go through your work books. I wonder if peopke like newton.davinchi, einstein wrote and hid the journals from psychos
Yeah, parents who tell you not to tell anyone what is going on in the family. Sounds very familiar. You touch a very philosophical question at the end. I think most, if not all cultures in human history were and are pretty depraved and our cultural progress is just a way of slowly, very slowly reducing that depravity. At least it's a general tendency... We are all to a certain extent damaged by it all and most of us live and die as suffering souls.
I have a knack for writing but I can't bring myself to spill my guts in a journal because the truth (about their father, about rape and about financial abuses endured) would be devastating to my now-adult children. I'm afraid they'd fall apart upon reading such journal after my death. Like, we need to let the past go and not perpetuate personal sufferings unto younger generations. I'm sure countless journals have NOT been written, throughout history, for this reason, and also out of shame or fear.
After 9 months of womb trauma! I can't imagine my narcissistic mother handling pregnancy well at all. No wonder I had all kinds of problems that were externalized, of course, explained as if the baby manufacturing line happened to put faulty parts in me.
"Normal" comes from "norm". So you have to ask yourself in any given situation "what is the norm here?" (if you are accused of being unnormal.) In nazi-Germany it was unnormal to love Jews! Riddle: if everyone is trying to be like everybody else, who are they trying to be like? :)
Although it came very late in my life, I’m sooo grateful to have finally realized that I don’t need anyone to validate my trauma. I was often disappointed to discover, I would receive little validation or acknowledgement of trauma from my siblings as I had expected.As if there is a ‘trauma yardstick’ to measure my or anyone’s trauma against!
I finally realized my experience of trauma is just that -my experience of trauma. It is irrefutable by any outside party. This may seem incredibly obvious to some but it is of one of the most empowering realizations I have made on this journey.
Hi Daniel, It is so refreshing to hear someone say that they are "not big on forgiveness..." For so long, I think I have been stunted in my healing process because I've been focusing on forgiving, instead of my own healing. Now that I am focusing on my healing, I am doing better. I just wanted to thank you for your comment.
write2ap
We’re u able to forgive five years down the road I know it can be so hard
Especially since people aren't owed forgiveness and some abuse is not forgivable. Putting the responsibility on the afflicted to forgive their bullies is often hard because its not an obligation in the first place.
You are a beautiful human being with a great capacity of self-reflection.❤
Yea I fuckin learned this myself, pardon the swear im just kinda blunt about how I willed myself back into living. Took 10 years roughly, well a little earlier but it was done in short increments of time for like 5 years before it became anything real. Man watching your videos has been so good to me, im thankful really. childhood trauma is the worst. It's why the world is twisted as it is today
@KatiDinge hi kati --- i'm not big on forgiveness at all. i am more into healing my own wounds and moving forward. grieving, mourning, all that. i think i have a youtube video on forgiveness somewhere.... if you search for mackler and forgiveness... also some essays about it on my website! all the best to you! daniel
I journaled today for the first time in years because of your vid.
Thanks, buddy.
Wooo! I realize my habits I've developed to numb were a protective mechanism of feeling unsafe. I found a way to close my heart so I wasn't emotionally vulnerable to my parents because they showed and told me my emotions didn't matter because they didn't have the capacity to.
People who are doing the inner work are truly the real superheroes because we are choosing to not borrow our parents'/childhood hurts
This video was posted 13 years ago. It is very helpful. Very creative in the presentation of a very serious topic. Journaling is a helpful means, but writing poetry is also therapeutic.
Hi Daniel, Thank you so much for this. Especially for acknowledging (and validating my thoughts about) how unhealthy societal norms are. And that most (if not all) of us are deeply traumatized, but it is so taboo that mose people honestly believe they are not. I feel as though what society terms mental illness is in fact the symptoms of how sick our culture is, manifesting in individuals. Thanks again.
Daniel, my brother. Thank you.
And you will always find the root of that sickness in the pursuit of money and national patriotism idolatry, in the making of weapons of mass destruction, in the desperate incentives of capitalism, which promotes excesses, forced slavery, fear of the neighbor, the vanity of life, deceitful and wrong "values", rivalry, commercial warfare, being cold and psychopathic, "nothing personal, just business" (but your aare making businesses with human beings not machines AND i THINKK THAT IS PRECISELY WHY THE ONLY LOGICAL CONSEQUENCE OF EVOLVED CAPITALISM, AS WE ARE CURRENTLY SEEING IT CAN BE AI (ARTIFITIAL INTELLIGENCE)) and especialy it induces the belief, by force of repetition, that you dont have ever enough, otherwise the anhililation of the system itself. The is NO VANITY FAIR, to be vain you need others to feel less than, so that the vain makes sense. Very few are willing to blame the economic system for having the most direct repercusions in the mental health aspect of individuals. Of course, in such system you will get sick, nor even God and morality could beat capitalistic freaks and promoters and its consequences as facts demonstrate- Capitalism nis not just private property, it induces psychopathic beliefs in all that participate in its incentives: all are my rivals, i am here to serve myself, all that is important is my personal gratification, it is all for my pleasure, others matter as long as they have money in their pockets, or something to offer, WHEN I WANT IT AND EXACTLY HOW I WANT IT, if not they are just garbage, they belong in the streets BECAUSE they are lazy" ANYONE WHO PURSUITS MONETARY GAIN, PURSUITS EXCESS AS WELL BECAUSE CAPITALISM MEANS TO HAVE EXCESSES THUS TO SEEK EXCESS AND WE ALL KNOW THE DEVIL/EVIL DWELLS IN EXCESSES
To that child has been constantly told (or was given a covert message): "Don't embarrass us (your parents)!"
Thank you for your TH-cam work which I'm just discovering. Almost everything you say resonates so deeply with me. Much more value than most of the therapists have ever given me. It's only recently Ive been able to admit to myself that I was the scapegoated discarded child because my family will not accept me in the family cult anymore. You were a beautiful child, and I'm so sad to see yet another story like mine.
continuing...I'm still working through layers upon layers of further trauma that happened through getting ill. I was also a Reiki master and seemed to be on the wounded healer journey...trauma I passed onto my children. The learning cycles & the processes I learnt, not all great phases, I realised I will still get it wrong,trigger old stuff until i fully work through it all. This hasn't been encouraged or supported by many. I continue to recognise my patterns & causes of initial trauma. TY :o)
Hi Daniel, just want you to know I can relate to so many things you talk about. I started journaling at the ripe age of 43 and now I write poetry. It helps a lot. You were so cute a baby.
just found you, feeling excited
Children who live with narcissists KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that they cannot share their true thoughts in a journal because the narcissistic parent has no issue taking the journal and reading it, or even sharing it with the family.
Not at all surprised that you had to drill a hole and put a combination lock on it.
Thank you for the compassion and love that your sharing shows.
I've been finding your videos and essays very challenging and very helpful. I know of no other place where these perspectives are expressed this way. I recommend your work to others whenever I think they will be open to it.
Thank you for putting this out there.
No no Daniel..you are DEFINITIVELY not alone....a huge hug..
Bless you
I love this series, even now, and the editing is so funny, i love it :) Thank you! I hope you'll keep making videos for a long time, super helpful :)
cool -- thanks. glad you find it useful. --daniel
I found your channel at the perfect time, thank you Daniel!
hi carissa---thanks for the comment---and that's AWFUL about being in the "top 1%". your positive feedback inspires me---not always easy to be so honest publicly! thanks---daniel
Thankyou so much for sharing the results of all of your journaling. That's amazing all of that insight that you have.
Ive been in Berlin & meditating and it came up when i was about 16 and in the family backyard i planted some tomato plants and they were growing and i was proud. then in a rage my late father ripped them out, the rage i felt and drove it inwards, to where? he was a boxer i couldnt beat him. i still feel the world is somehow unbeatable from that and other events. i have been imagining the situation and sending it light and healing. ive healed a lot over time but its still there
hi tzivsharet---i love journaling, oh yeah! it's been such a strong way for me to develop a healthier relationship with myself... thanks for the kind feedback----all the best, daniel
Journaling is terrifying. I did a lot in my younger years and the 4th step in recovery group. I even told my abuser that it wasn't ok to treat me the way she had. At that time she actually apologized and cried. But presently she is memory impaired and will still lash out in anger. I so wish I could address these outbursts appropriately in those moments. I end up doing the gray rock technique and/ or hanging up. Did you ever find it helpful to ask your abuser why they would say something so hurtful?
How do you manage to keep distance from a parent who is aging and still needs help? I want to protect myself, and still be a good daughter.
I foresee this challenge on my horizon, too, of being compassionate toward my mother as she ages poorly as narcissists do. Fortunately for me that burden should land on my brother as I've already done more than my share of parent caretaking. At least now I can be at peace with her suffering. Prior to this journey, I would have felt guilt and obligation. In regards to addressing the perpetrator, here is a quote from Martin Miller's book The True Drama of a Gifted Child:
"When clients call their parents to account for their offenses, when they confront them with their 'crimes,' then they basically remain locked in their childlike position.
When parents indeed have acted criminally, abusively or violently, against their children, it may be appropriate in such cases to bring them to justice.
But as a rule, confrontations with parents about their childrearing misconduct are unproductive and do not bring about change for clients. The inner dialogue with parents leads much further."
It's a great book. Daniel does an interview with Martin Miller on this channel. Wishing you the best in your journey.
You helped me understand so many things about myself and my own journey i have to say thank you Daniel. You’re about to help so many people also your videography is awesome! 💚
@jruizdemena i think people who are less split off tend to remember their dreams better, but not always. sometimes i have seen people who are very split off but remember their dreams, but without so much emotional content -- or have no emotional connection to their dreams at all. other people are extremely dissociated to the point of psychosis, and their psychosis IS their dream -- they live it in their waking hours. i haven't learned much about dreams in books - personal experience is better
Feels like in different circumstances I have gone through a similar journey. I was raped, once when i was 18 & again when i was 31 after a bad marriage. I went on to finally get counselling in art college, which was in itself therapy as an artist the need to create etc. I went on to get my art degree & later learn counselling skills and journalling entered my life...I went about thinking I was better than i was for a while till I lost my health and my looks as such...I had more to work through
Your perspective is so needed and refreshing!
thankyou for sharing this video..I love that you opened up and shared with others
Thanks for sharing. I've done similar things to you but less consistently. Life sort of grabs you and has a away of overwhelming good practices. I wish more people talked about this stuff so folks had more experience and tools to deal with life, such as it is.
Your videos have given me hope. Thank you.
You're welcome!!
Man.. your stories about working in psych are talking about exactly wha I experienced as a patient..l I just watched your how to be a good psychiatrist.. I scored 100% on the test just answering by what I have personally experienced... I experienced almost ALL of the things you said you can do in each situation. I really want to sue the psych system.., or these pharmaceutical companies... it’s unbelievable to me that the things they do are legal and that even worse... when you try to raise awareness about it people just act like you’re a whack job
Too sweet!
I watched several of your videos , I learn a lot from you and you give me perspective on the journey of selfhealing😊
Wooow! 🙂 This is actually the best I have heard, and it helps me alot too! Thank you so much for sharing your insights! Greetings from Norway! ⭐️👍🏻
Could you comment on MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for childhood trauma? It has tremendous success in treating PTSD in war veterans.
My journals (called diaries then) go back to the 1960's. When I re-read them it really depresses me. However, when I marry up my Journals (running record) with my Dream Journals, my dreams began to make so much sense. Somehow I don't want to destroy them because they represent my inner child & burning them would be like killing off part of me. After we've done all our "grief work" do you recommend burning them & burying them in the garden or casting the ashes into the wind as a final goodbye to the pain & suffering written within? I still can't seem to let them go. Does that mean there is still grief work to be done & redone?
I start to write about my life when I was 14 but I burned many of those books because I did not myself on those paper any more, but I quite this work after too bad period of my life on 3 years ago. I was afraid about someone find them, but after watching this I am thinking about start writing for myself again. maybe this can help me to healing from those horrible experiences I had around 3 years ago.
Thank you Daniel, this is very helpful
thank you!
Wow i too kept a journal and unlike you i didn’t protect it from prying eyes. I’m personally in agreement with Prince Harry for telling his story. People who call him a out for betraying his family. How about the family that allowed a child to be so traumatized. I’m so happy to see your videos so many suffer in silence living wounded even having children who they go on to traumatize. I have apologized to my daughter. I encourage to seek help and to come to me now that i’m in a better place. Telling your story is healing ..
thank you daniel
I have BPD and really appreciate your thought and vids. I've recently been convinced to start a DBT course via CMHT. They claim it is my best hope to improve the quality of my life. I'm 55 and have experimented with various different approaches but feel worse than ever. I found gestalt useful in helping me understand the significance of childhood trauma but have mainly relied on self-critique. Therapies which tended to concentrate on specific areas of my psyche have often done more harm than good. DBT concerns me as I feel my non-conformity to the current system and sense of injustice to be healthy while "blind acceptance is a sign of those who simply stand in line". So, I'll approach DBT as an adjunct to my self-critique rather than a "cure".
I love this guy❤
i totally get you
Oh that’s what I’ve been told by my family, relatives that I’m pain in the butt that I complain and came up with some trauma from childhood, they call me crazy for that, so sad when there is no one in your circle able to understand you, and I thought that something was wrong with me my whole life
I dream and I dream
But what do they mean?
So vivid and real
Is it to heal?
A troubled soul
That's lost its way?
It's just a.dream
The people say
Watching your youtube channel I think you are my lost twin brother I never knew I have. 😊I think the same way as you.
I use the same tools: agree 100%!
Great video. I've been using writing as therapy too sometimes, but I used to have two locks on my journalXD
dig it---thanks kuuuuuul20
glad you enjoyed it-
daniel
p.s. you asked where i was all these years. my answer: thinking these thoughts i share here, but too scared to be public with them...at least in video form.
This is excellent.
Daniel, thank you so much. I really appreciate your videos.
I was wondering what books you can recommend to me that will aid me in the healing/grieving process.
Thanks again
i was beat by my father as a child, he was A BAD gambler. i did become an alcoholic and addict for 17 yrs. i was violently robbed in the projects. slashed with a razor, punched ,car jacked, ect. i didn't care about what could happen, i just wanted the drugs. i'm in aa now with 2 yrs of sobriety, i feel a lttle better, but i'm gonna try a 1 on 1 therapist,because i still have a lot of anger and maybe that can clear me up. my father was a real ass when i was growing up!
TheRedtaz
Bless u I hope u are doing better 🦋
well done!
"You shouldn´t do this, this is wrong! ..." until showing the weird doll. Great!!!
Hi Daniel .. I agree about child trauma thing ... this is kind of my take (my responds to your video) about this issue:
My Thoughts on Process of how do I become a bully
@dmackler58 yes! may be I wasn`t to clear asking the cuestion.
@Paseosinperro hi Jorge -- i'm no sure i understand your comment... maybe you are speaking about people speaking out about the horrors of capitalism and industrialism and corporatism...when really their issue is internal -- their unresolved traumas...and they are projecting it outward onto the world and society... is that it? all the best to you --- daniel
Yep
Wow this is so true. This is so true to experience. I love your channel (even if I disagree about Jordan Peterson ;)
In the 5:30 of this video I couldn't agree more that MAJORITY of people don't even know the deepest level of trauma WE cary on ...
So you are saying that I dont remember my dreams bc I dissociate while I'm sleeping? Thats so weird. I do remember only sometimes if I am suddenly awoken. Hmmm
I might divide my life to before and after getting to know Daniel Mackler.
Hi Daniel, I dont know if you deal with lazyless about journaling. I feel like I have a lot of things to work on but, at the same time, I feel lazy about writting, I have this tendency of going out and do something And one can think that may be yes, you need to go out and other things instead of writting, but, at the same time I think "i cant do nothing properly if before I dont resolve these things". May be is not good to force ourselves but, at the same time, I think is something to be done
My husband was beaten up and neglected when he was a child. Now he abused me emotionally and it was so bad that I had anxiety and depression
I feel you, cause I`ve been in a similar situation. My boyfriend screamed at me, telling me that I ruined his whole life, even if he knew me like only 5% of his life, and although I wasn`t a good partner, I really tried my best to be honest with him and was working on my traumas a lot and going through therapy. There was a lot of abuse and gaslighting in out relationship... It`s been 1,5 years since we parted our ways, and I feel like I more or less got over it. I will always miss him: he is a great person and artist, and I feel like we shared a lot of moment of great affinity, closeness and vulnerability. But being safe from his toxicity and drug addiction is more important.
I don’t write down because I’m scared someone sees it. I only wrote 1 page.
When I was a teenager, I made up a code for my diary, so only I could know what was written there. It helped for a bit.
I don't really have any traumatic experiences or anything serious... But i feel like i have something that i'm hiding but i don't know that i'm actually hiding something. I thought about getting therapy so i could just talk to someone, because im VERY social, but ever since dropping all social connections due to my obsessive behavior with video games, i really have no one to talk to. So i sit here wanted to express things... I tried journaling but it doesn't really help. Eh... any ideas?
Any progress?
A padlock is not good enough. People can cut the part of the diary off that holds the padlock and then open it up. Its much better to use a word processor with a password for your diary.
Hi Daniel, how are you? I would like to know your opinion of the world concentratios, here in Spain, in New York,.... from the perspective of the trauma. For me, even when there things which need to be said about banks or democracy, is many times a way which people express their own internal shit more than a real social concern
Jorge
@dmackler58 the reality is that the majority of people are highly traumatized - 1 out of 3 girls will be raped or sexually abused by the age of 18 ,and 1 out of 5 boys - and those are only the ones that are reported. it's unfortunately the norm in our culture, but trauma is trauma, be it growing up in an alcoholic home, or sexual abuse, or any trauma, it is harmful on many levels, and the inner child needs to be healed and nurtured to heal the trauma.
daniel mackler just read about muslims daily routine
and tell me if this routine has got to do with trauma for me
i think it is the only possible way to heal it entirely but let me know your opinion . respect .
💕💕💕💗💗💗💗
Young dianel so handsome
1:38 I notice how you bowed when you got up and it seemed kinda uncomfortably performative, and oddly enough that's exactly the mannerism, or maybe rather "way of moving" I had when I was this age. It's very odd, but there's almost a dissociative mania to it if I'm reading it right. Sorta like trying to force yourself to be having fun when you know inside you feel terrible.
Me too _had to find a way too hide my writting _ the psychopaths go through your work books. I wonder if peopke like newton.davinchi, einstein wrote and hid the journals from psychos
Yeah, parents who tell you not to tell anyone what is going on in the family. Sounds very familiar.
You touch a very philosophical question at the end. I think most, if not all cultures in human history were and are pretty depraved and our cultural progress is just a way of slowly, very slowly reducing that depravity. At least it's a general tendency... We are all to a certain extent damaged by it all and most of us live and die as suffering souls.
what is a soul?
Journaling always makes me feel worse. Everyone else seems to like it. IDK.
I have a knack for writing but I can't bring myself to spill my guts in a journal because the truth (about their father, about rape and about financial abuses endured) would be devastating to my now-adult children. I'm afraid they'd fall apart upon reading such journal after my death. Like, we need to let the past go and not perpetuate personal sufferings unto younger generations. I'm sure countless journals have NOT been written, throughout history, for this reason, and also out of shame or fear.
Are you an INFJ?
meyers briggs is not based in science at all. you might as well be asking what his astrological sign is
The trauma is having been born.
After 9 months of womb trauma! I can't imagine my narcissistic mother handling pregnancy well at all. No wonder I had all kinds of problems that were externalized, of course, explained as if the baby manufacturing line happened to put faulty parts in me.
"Normal" comes from "norm". So you have to ask yourself in any given situation "what is the norm here?" (if you are accused of being unnormal.) In nazi-Germany it was unnormal to love Jews!
Riddle: if everyone is trying to be like everybody else, who are they trying to be like? :)
batty boi