I really like the acknowledgement that etiquette evolves through time and that good etiquette is about making others feel comfortable not rubbing their noses in the fact that they've made a 'mistake', it's like the opposite of snobbery but so many people seem to think that snobbery is good etiquette 😂😂
There's certainly a level of 'snobbery' in etiquette. It is bad etiquette to point out to a person that they made a mistake, but it is not uncommon for people to talk about these mistakes behind that person's back after the fact.
@@flamethrow868 I feel like that would still count as people having pretty bad/poor/ etiquette. My mother always told me it was terrible manners to speak ill of those who were not present to defend themselves; and there is a reason that the phrase "stabbed in the back" has a common metaphorical usage, not just a literal one.
@@flamethrow868 But etiquette in history was not just for the elite or upper class. It doesn't have to go hand in hand with snobbery either. In 'Emma' by Jane Austen you can get a really good idea of the different classes and etiquette I think. And what stood out to me is that in that book it were the middle or lower classes that were gossipping and talking badly about others, while the upper class was always trying to 'fix up' their mistakes often even without them knowing. And these mistakes were not just about rules but also about really hurting other peope. The upper class also took so much more responsibility in caring for others like visiting people regurarly, asking how people are doing, bringing food to sick people. And not just within their own class but to everyone in the village. I think a lot of times people associate good etiquette with the upper class being snobbery because they're just jealous. Good etiquette was there to help people deal with social situations and I wish we had preserved more of that etiquette in society nowadays.
Isn't etiquette as often about avoiding embarrassment for yourself and maintaining or improving your status as it is about making others feel comfortable?
The Ralph Bellamy scene in Pretty Woman is, to me, the ultimate in good manners: he sees someone struggling with an etiquette issue and finds a way to help her out while making her feel comfortable.
We were dining at a nice restaurant in the city with another couple, and my 5 year old daughter spilled her water glass. The waiter was there in two seconds with a new table cloth, but he won this mother’s heart when he accidentally - on purpose “spilled” a bit of something before he changed it out and told my daughter it was Ok - see, he even did it sometimes.
Yes! I’ve always understand that manners are for making other people comfortable-it’s an act of service to the people around you to have good manners. Not to be snobby or superior, but to ensure everyone feels comfortable and welcome.
I heard an etiquette expert explicitly explain that being tactful and making sure everybody is comfortable and nobody is embarrassed is always more important than the strict etiquette rules.
Exactly. A truly classy person introduces her gardener to a visiting friend exactly the same way she would royalty. Sometimes the way people treat their staff is more telling than the way they treat their peers.
I WOULD SAY, IN A CASE LIKE THIS, ONE WOULD, SLIP THIER CUSTOMS TO MAKE THE GUEST FEEL WELCOME. SO THEY ‘SHOT’ A FLUTE… WELL, TAKE THE SHOT, AND OFFER A ‘PROPER’ DRINK THEY CLEARLY WANT. POUR THEM A SCOTCH. DON’T FORGET, IT’S ALL BASED ON POLITENESS, HOWEVER, EVENTS ARE MEANT TO BE FUN. SO SOMETIMES SLIPPING A RULE, WILL MAKE SOMEONE FEEL WELCOME, INCLUDED THEREFORE BEING THE CORRECT ETIQUETTE. ‘OVER DEMONSTRATING’ THE CORRECT ETQ WOULD MAKE THEM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AS MUCH AS LETTING THEM KNOW, AS THAT ACTION ALSO LETS THEM KNOW. I WAS IN SUCH A RUCH THE OTHER NIGHT, ARRIVED LATE, AND FORGOT TO PUT MY NAPKIN DOWN PROPERLY. NO ONE CARED. OH, ALWAYS REMEMBER, A HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE IS NEVER PROPER ETQ. EXCEPT, WHEN ONE MUST RETURN A FORMALLY SPOKEN INSULT. THE CORRECT ATTITUDE IN A REBUKE IS ESSENTIAL 😂😊
Ngl the "talking in every direction to make sure nobody is neglected" thing is something I would unironically like to bring back. Like, that's just being nice and very easy to do.
Customer service trained me into that one, and I still do it with groups to this day. Especially if I know or suspect that some of the people I'm chatting with are too polite to just excitedly interrupt like me and most of my friends will do in casual conversation with each other. xD
Tbh i think the kinder thing to do is not fake/force a connection. That way no energy is wasted and no feelings are hurt. Also it makes it easier for people on the spectrum to understand who is a potential friend and who is not.
Yeah, I think they portrayed this very well in _Princess Diaries_ I adored it when the staff would tell Mia "It happens all the time" while smiling at her warmly.
My grandmother used to have me read etiquette books when I would spend summers with her. To this day I'll set tables a specific way and I eat a specific way when I sit down for formal dinners 🤣 (Thanksgiving etc). My ex fiance whispered in my ear at dinner for me to relax the first time I met his dad and step mom, and I said "I can't, it's habit" lol. His step mom commented on my proper posture and etiquette lolololol, it's so embarrassing 🤣
In the 60s a British gentleman explained the art of hand kissing to me. If the hand is bare the gentleman discreetly brushes the skin with his lips. If she is wearing gloves he takes the hand in the usual manner and makes a brief, small bow over the hand. This is almost never depicted in film or TV shows. Also, if a woman or man shakes hands with another person of appropriate rank the glove is removed for that gesture. I have never seen this on TV.
I was always told that the lips shouldn’t actually touch the hand, imagine how gross it would be to get someone’s saliva on your hand 🤣 they get it right in the Spanish series ‘Gran Hotel’
In the south, we called them charm classes, and I took one for several Saturdays in about 1978. Learned to sit and stand properly, how to get into and out of a car properly, how to make introductions (I can still remember in what order to introduce the Queen and President), personal grooming, how to serve tea and, of course, how to navigate silverware, place settings and even finger bowls! We also did a little tea room modeling to practice public speaking by sharing info about what we were wearing and the local store we were promoting. Even though it sounds like the 1950s, these skills have actually come in handy over the years at formal dinners on cruises, corporate dinners and such, and best of all, gives confidence when faced with an unfamiliar situation! I know I sound old when I say this, but I've met a lot of people who could do with a little social training, even something as basic as looking others in the eye, speaking clearly instead of mumbling, and knowing basics like how to answer a phone or compose a few sentences with complete words and punctuation. Maybe next time, Ms. Meier could review movies set in more current times and suggest appropriate etiquette for 2022!
I agree, and I would also like to ask if there is such a thing as “ladylike” behavior in this day and age, as we saw it to prevalently in this video throughout the time periods.
The bad manners part of Downton Abbey was intentional. It was showing Moseley 's faux pas'. It was to make us feel bad for him. We all knew how badly he goofed
It's part of why he's a fan favorite. He's such an earnest man, eager to show what he can do, proud of how well the Downton staff pulled off that dinner, but is socially awkward. He blossoms as a teacher, both in helping Daisy and working at the village school.
It was all part of the train wreck that was that terrible movie. Princess Margaret would have loved that to actually happen. She hated when events went perfectly. Like the footman who spilled the cream on Edward VII when he was Prince of Wales. Talk about good manners. He said, "My good man I am not a strawberry," and laughed. The best was a Dame Helen Greville who hosted fabulous parties at her country house. She had a butler who was a drinker and one night she passed him a note during an important dinner party she have having that said "You are clearly very drunk, leave immediately." He gave it to one of her guests. Sometimes the servants did seize the upper hand.
Not to mention in the P&P scene a gentleman wouldn’t have clasped her hand with his thumb like that unless he was very familiar to her. When a gentleman offers his hand to help a lady up or down she might clasp his hand for balance but for him to return it was Darcy slipping and showing her how he felt
TH-cam can tell you which part of any video is "Most Replayed" and it made me laugh to see it was the P&P clip that viewers of this video kept rewatching lol
When the Dowager corrects Mary for talking in the wrong direction, (Downton Abbey) it may be poor etiquette, but it is deliberate. She's a famously outspoken character and likes to assert her opinions and gets away with it through force of character and respect for her age and status. Publically correcting her granddaughter may not be 'correct', but she simply doesn't care. She's reminding Mary of correct manners and doing it publically is her way of putting Mary in her place.
The first Downton Abbey scene reminds me of the scene in Pride and Prejudice when Lady Catherine chastises Mr. Collins for sitting next to his wife. Correcting his poor etiquette with worse etiquette is such a great use of satire on Jane Austen's part. 😂
I love your knowledge of Devon and Cornwall cream and jam etiquette. That's a deep cut. I grew up in Devon and am cream first all the way. However, the solution to all this debate is to create a kind of raspberry ripple effect and swirl the two together. You're welcome.
Also depends on the jam, if it is slightly runny it is better to put the cream first then the jam for obvious reasons, no matter which county you are in (told to me by a Cornishwoman years ago).
@@MayYourGodGoWithYou that's interesting, I wonder if jams made in Devon tend to be made runnier than jams made in Cornwall which may reflect the tradition
Having lived in Japan for 20 yrs, I learned most of these manners and etiquette that are never outdated in Japanese society. So, you can just tell my culture shock when I moved here to the States some 30 yrs ago. Thank you for an interesting video.
Are you perhaps referring to the old: cut steak into small pieces with knife in right hand, fork in left, then put knife down, transfer fork to right hand to eat and shuffle the food around the plate, like a sad clown, till it gets on the fork? LOL!
"Bridgerton" even gets the hunting totally wrong. "Hunting" in England traditionally means a fox hunt, on horseback and with hounds. What we see in the movie is "shooting", on foot and with guns.
The whole series seems to be some kind of mock to the period drama. Too feminist for me. I know they wanted to portray women as strong and independent, but the total series seems to be made by some one who has no idea.
@@Boop-beep-bap it’s a drama series, ofc it’s not going to be accurate and also “too feminist for me” ??? Women finally standing up for themselves especially during that time is too much for u?
@@Boop-beep-bap not to oblierate you too much, as others already have, but (as someone aho doesn't even watch the show) it's historical fantasy, not historical fiction. i dont know why you have your panties in a wad.
I agree with correcting someone's bad etiquette in public as being rude I think that also applies too other things like having a personal argument Infront of other people depending on the situation of course great video
It would’ve been an amazing transition to critique Princess Diaries right after Pretty Woman - Princess Diaries does an almost shot-for-shot of the escargot scene, with the same actor playing the waiter laying down the “it happens all the time” line…
I gotta call out the claim that "the hand" was Matthew MacFayden's "natural reaction" like it was some kind of spontaneous bit of physical acting - "the hand" is a dedicated shot where the camera is focused tight on his hand - why would the camera be focused on his hand? Even the idea that maybe he flexed his hand at the end of the take where he helped Keira up, and the director noticed it, and then added the hand-flex into the shooting schedule, seems pretty unlikely (given the nature of schedules). "The hand" is a planned shot, set up and done as a specific take. Still hot tho.
That's wild, that it was no longer acceptable for women to go hunting by the Regency era. Hawking, riding with hounds, and keeping male relatives/family friends company while hunting were all part of being a well-rounded lady back in the day; Elizabeth I was considered quite adept at all three, and shooting into the bargain.
In the same vein, when her relation with her husband was still distant, Marie-Antoinette tried to take an interest in hunting, a hobby of his, to try to get closer to him, show that she has interest in what he likes. There even is a painting of her hunting.
I don’t think the presenter here is quite correct. It wasn’t super common but it also wasn’t prohibited. Good article easily found via googling found a few sources to support this. Agree with the commenter that more likely the issue in the bridgerton scene was that she was the only woman.
What a gorgeous and surprising unpretentious expert (considering her area of speciality) Really enjoyed this video and even learnt a couple of things! Many thanks, Love your great content. 💚💙💜Bellè~ Australia x
I agree, for someone who studied etiquette (in this day and age) to be so unpretentious and (seemingly at least) so relaxed/chilled, easygoing, friendly & warm seems unusual, or at least not stereotypical... With the exception of the uppermost-upper class, etiquette (beyond the usual, general good manners), does not play much of a role at all in society today, let alone the highly important one it used to, so people who decide to study it are often considered to be very snobby. OR, perhaps more accurately, WANTING to be very snobby - Wanting to learn it so that they can utilise it and feel superior to the people around them making 'social blunders' left & right - Meaning they would stereotypically be cold and superior (acting) rather than friendly and relaxed. I also agree that I very much enjoyed this video. I found it to be both informative and entertaining. I greatly enjoyed the little bits of backstory and explanations that were included; backstory such as the original Asian tea cups being the reason we hold tea cups as we do (or should at least), as well as the reason the little finger used to be held up and why it shouldn't be today. And explanations like the lack of the usual gloves making what would normally be polite & correct/appropriate into startling & risqué... I would love it if she made a video with some of the more common &/OR more obscure etiquette and the reasoning, backstory, etc behind how/why it came to be a part of manners/etiquette, as well as how/why it has altered over the years until what we have today. And finally, though it has no relevance, I'm Australian too. LOL. Oh, as an added postscript, I wasn't trying to insult people who learn etiquette, I was just talking about how they're typically viewed, whether it's fair or not, whether it's correct or not. Or, more accurately, I KNOW that it's both correct & fair in some cases, just as I KNOW it's both COMPLETELY incorrect & COMPLETELY unfair in others. Anyway, thanks for the video and for your comment Bellè. Cheers, Guy
I was following her on Instagram, didn't know she did an episode here. Love her easy and clear explaination. Her content on IG is also very simple and straight forward on some day to day ettiquette too
Between the awful clothing, the cultural appropriation and the terrible writing, I wouldn't know where to start with the mess that is that britdgerton thing ...
@@hi-ve1cw I agree. The multi-ethnic casting is really cool, but as a fan of historical dramas I expect the rest to be at least a little accurate. I believe it's basically an alternate England in which racial progress happened sooner due to the Queen's marriage so everything else should still be the same.
@@hi-ve1cw Why can’t people like something historical stylistically? This is not the retelling of an event or someone’s life. You shouldn’t be expecting historical accuracy out of this. It’s just a fun show with something different to it.
I would looove to see a video on the current beliefs associated with Etiquette at the upper class. It's very interesting to see representations of old customs and review them, but we don't often get to see what current actions are perceived as well-mannered in our current society.
Especially because it remains a powerful myth that tradition is unchanging. It turns out traditions change much faster than we tend to assume, and it would be lovely to hear what the most recent form of etiquette traditions has been.
They weren't going ''hunting'', because ladies DID hunt, and have done since mediaeval times. There are many pictures of ladies at the the hunt going after the fox or deer. (Hunting = - usually - horses & foxhounds after foxes but in the past also deer and hunting with hawks). Great sight on New Year's Day is to go to the local pub and watch the hunt set off in their scarlet accompanied by the hounds and followers. Done this many times. In Bridgerton (is that correct) they were obviously going SHOOTING. And no, women didn't go shooting as far as I can ascertain. (shooting = guns and shooters?? after pheasant, grouse, pigeon, or vermin.) Ladies do go shooting nowadays though.
It was incredibly rare for women to hunt on horseback because in order to safely hunt, they'd need to wear mens' clothing and ride astride which was unladylike. The only people that could get away with it were queens and prostitutes. At the time, long dresses and riding side saddle were the norm, but because it was before the invention of the leaping head, it was really easy to fall off, so women were at a severe disadvantage even if they bothered/were allowed to go out and hunt with the men.
@@thetrashmaster1352 Which era. The modern side saddle had been invented by then and it is extremely hard to fall off when riding side saddle. My daughter claims it is far safer than riding astride (she will only ride side saddle if it's at all possible) and ladies going hunting in Regency times was common.
@@NotMykl My guess, because it looks good on the telly. Can't think of any other reason and she wouldn't have been shooting in period either, although she may have known how to use a pistol. Certainly Georgette Heyer - who did do her research before writing her books - had at least one character able to shoot accurately with a pistol because she had an unusual upbringing and had travelled in dangerous regions over the years (Grand Sophy, probably my favourite of her books). But none went our shooting for birds, which I'm guessing is what this scene involved. I haven't seen the series, not of any interest to me, and don't intend watching it anyway but I can't see why else she would be mishandling a weapon in that way unless she thinks she's actually in the USAmerican wild west. Not only that but her clothing looks to be odd for the outdoor action as well.
"Gracefully and grandly.... Gracefully and grandly...." I never get over that scene. I still laugh everytime I watch that scene. And "A League of Their Own" such a gooooooooooood film!!!
Etiquette now is misunderstood as something superficial and self-centred. In reality, it’s about presenting yourself properly to others. It’s being mindful of others.
Fun Fact: some said that at the Palace of Versailles some nobles did put their pinkies up while drinking tea in assemblies, but it was a secret and scandalous code, indicating that they had a venereal disease and would be unable to accept new bedpartners for a while.
This is false, if they did not wish to participate in the nightly activities they would fob off such attentions by feigning a headache. Anyone retiring early to write letters was making it clear that they did not wish to be disturbed.
The papers in UK seem split on reporting Cornwall vs Devon for how the royals take scones. The Oldie (beloved of Vanity Fair) reports the Royal pastry chefs now serve them Devon style, while the former Royal chef Darren McGrady (trained in London where they serve in the Cornwall way) says Cornwall style. I spent 15mins looking this up - I think I need a hobby.
Its interesting watching Korean TV because that's a culture where people still bow to each other, where strict forms of etiquette are still followed, where formal and informal forms speech is strictly enforced, where people are referred to by their title rather than their name. All within a modern first world society.
It's a HUGE pain in the butt though, there are so many things you have to watch out for when you're interacting with other people, it can make socializing rather painful.
@@hi-ve1cw some cultures are more strict than others though. For example, russian has formal and informal speech but it's more of how to divide when you are speaking to your superiors vs. when you are speaking to your buddies. In other cultures and languages such as korean or japanese, the etiquette is more strictly enforced and there are more faux pas that you can make.
I grew up in a pretty traditional family, and to this day I don't know the names of any of my aunts or uncles, much less my grandparents. When I learned my parents proper names it was for legal purposes lol
@@hi-ve1cw Korean has SEVEN freaking levels of formality, not just formal and informal. And nuances within those. It's a real pain trying to learn it. But a beautiful language nevertheless, so harmonious and made for love songs.
@@hi-ve1cw That is true. Like in French there are two ways of saying 'you are'. 'Tu es' is casual while 'vous etes' is formal. And it's the same in English. Like if we need to go to the bathroom, formally we would say "I'm just going to the bathroom" and casually it would be "I need to pee". But then the most formal way is to just simply excuse yourself and don't mention where you are going.
I believe this is very useful to understand the mindsets throughout different epochs. If I was to constantly pay attention to my movements, how I held a cup and which phrases I could apply to different ages and statuses, it would surely have affected my whole personality.
@@HO-bndk I live in a country, where we call our teachers, co-workers and bosses by their first names. We had strict etiquette until the 70's, where the prime minister himself asked his co-workers to drop them, and so did the entire nation eventually.
When I was a bridesmaid in the 90s we all practiced the walk down the aisle with the book on the head! I loved the Downton Abbey dinner scene, so funny with of all the etiquette disasters which happened but so nicely covered by the Queen, so well written. Bridgerton is such an enjoyable romp I have to just let go and enjoy the ride 😂 Yes, the ultimate purpose of good etiquette is so that everyone feels comfortable and confident and to make anyone feel discomfort in public is a crime of etiquette. One of the loveliest and most important things about hosting an event is ensuring the comfort and happiness of your guests above all.
@@AWlpsSHOW36 it just means that you care enough about other people that you won't chew with your mouth open, or having them listen to you smack and chew on your food. I've seen plenty of times where a little etiquette would've gone a long way
Fun fact: there hasn't been a Queen of England since the Act of Union in 1707. Queen Anne, played by Olivia Colman in The Favourite, was the last Queen of England. Elizabeth II is Queen of the United Kingdom
Isn’t the queen also queen of Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Antigua and Barbuda, The Bahamas, Belize, Grenada, Jamaica, Papua New Guinea, Saint Lucia, Solomon Islands, St Kitts and Nevis, and St Vincent and the Grenadines?
@@jade_ehx600 But for some reason people in the US have a habit of ''forgetting'' that Queen Elizabeth of Canada actually exists. Odd given Canada is their neighbour.
@@TSV805 Canada is your neighbour, many of you constantly bring up your failed invasion attempt on Canada in 1812 so you definitely don't forget Canada exists and many of you like to claim that you beat Canada and only withdrew out of the goodness of your hearts (dodgy education there but still). Either way, ignoring Queen Elizabeth of Canada and refusing to acknowledge she exists is the same as Canada deciding that the President of the US doesn't exist and totally ignoring him.
WOAH - the last part about true ladies being slowed down - if you've ever watched Lady Colin Campbell aka "Lady C," she speaks so enormously slowly (and is very aristocratic) that I listen to her on 1.5 speed. This finally explains WHY she's like that!! She's very old school so now finally I get it because she's clearly quite bright. Fascinating - she must have been trained that way as a proper young lady. It gives her time to come up with sharp zingers ha ha.
we always assume etiquette to have a stuck-up spirit behind it, since characters who are practicing it are stuck up, but it seems to be based in respect.
I wonder what the proper etiquette is when you're served something you don't eat... Like escargot - I won't touch it - but could I gracefully and respectfully pass on that course, or would that be rude?
I don't know what an actual school of etiquette would say, but I was taught that you should never bring it up. Either have only a bite, pretend to eat it, or just wait until the next course. Typically, you would at least try something, even if you've never had it or it doesn't look appetizing to you. When you're having a dinner with multiple courses, you might not eat all of everything anyway, so you can just drink and talk in the meantime. It used to be that the plates would be removed and the next course brought in either by indication/planning of the host or when the most important person at the table had finished eating, but now I think it's more of a timed thing. You would indicate that you're done eating by how you place your silverware on the plate, so the staff would know you've finished. It's worthy to note that a good host should always plan their menu to be mindful of what their guests would like to eat, taking into account allergies and dietary restrictions.
@@liv97497 Not enough hosts even bother to ask if a guest has allergies or restrictions. I remember the first time I asked people to let me know if they had any allergies and they were flabbergasted because nobody had ever had the consideration to find out in advance so an alternative could be worked out.
No passing - it would be a little rude, and you would be sitting there with no food in front of you, which would mean that any other plates (down to the charger) would have to be removed for that course and replaced for the next. Because 🙀that anyone should have an empty plate in front of them. It would be pretty embarrassing for you. You are, however, allowed to shove a small portion under the lettuce if there is any on the plate, and if it’s in your mouth before you realize it’s revolting, you can do the fake wipe your lips spit it in the napkin. Personally, I think it’s bad etiquette to serve escargot at a formal dinner, because snails, but also because it’s bound to make some of your guests uncomfortable - the plate with special dents for the snails, the snail shells with those silly tongs that never get a good grip on the shell, digging the snail out. Plus the snail has already been removed, cleaned, seasoned and put back in the shell. If you have to hide it after you make it… it would be like putting the top back on a raw oyster.
Thank you all! I'm not a picky eater, but there are a few things (olives, marzipan and seafood - including snails and frog legs) that just activate my gag reflex. I would be horrified if the hosts thought I was gagging because of the quality of their food!
I thought this would be boring and it was actually pretty fun! I shall no longer drink thy tea with thy pinky up and I shall opt for the middle finger approach instead... haha! That made my day honestly!
My favorite movie is A League of their Own. "Sip, down. Don't slurp." 😂 Also, the movie came out in 1992, and the gap between the 1940's and that time is roughly 45 years. The comparable gap of our time in 2022 would be the mid 1970's. 😮 It's strange to think about timelines. 😳
I watched it as a pre-teen and loved it. It reflected the time period of my grandparents although they were a little younger than these women at this time so it definitely seemed like a completely different world.
Thanks for this video, Myka. :) A lot of people think that proper etiquette isn't relevant anymore, but it really is. It's just practised in a different way. Etiquette and good manners are a simple way of showing respect for those around you, not a matter of class or socioeconomic level. Sadly, good manners are lacking by a lot of people these days, but it can be learned if a person takes the time to do so.
I'm still young & still learning. I'd love so much to hear Julie Andrews share in her own words what topics are most Etiquette at the table & at tea socials. Etc.
My grandma used to put coins under my armpits at the beginning of dinner, if they were still there at the end , I got to keep them. Since then I never slouched or was a slob at a table. Thanks grandma ❤️
That curtsy is the only way to acknowledge that much of a difference and level it that way. He is supporting the man he is the entire time and the actor clearly understands what’s going on. He backs out to spiritually make a genuine end to it to in order to keep working most effectively in case it was a serious issue and they didn’t have that respect. It also gives him a more altered self cushion to handle a conversation about it if that happened as he’s known them all so long.
I wasn’t looking at the screen when she said her name and for a split second I thought I’ll be watching Michael Myers correct movie characters’ etiquette
At 4:15, she adds the cream and jam to the whole slice --- wrong. One bite at a time should be torn and spreads added then. yes? Also the queen makes noise with her cutlery and plate. European manners dictate that they should make no noise -- true even today, so I'm told. At 9:00, kissing in public was tabu even between married couples. Even up to the 1960s it was unusual.
In the 1960s I attended private school in Scarsdale NY. Girls’ gym classes were conducted by a Belgian lady who was also our French teacher. She did have us parading in circles with books on our heads!
Men would absolutely do big deep court bows, watch John adams to see him bow when presented to George III, Mosley is simply reverting to an older more deferential style of bow.
I have never eaten escargot in shell before or on a plate. It was always cooked and served in an escargot bowl with butter, mushrooms, and the shell underneath the meat.
Most of these "rules" seem so arbitrary. Except for the ones about not making others feel worse. I don't know how hats coming off after 6 matters in the least.
6pm is close to dinner and you should be preparing to head to bed so why is your hat still on? in otherwords you are in the process of letting your hair down.
@@Marveryn it's really not common for people to have dinner anywhere near 6pm in Asia lol. Also why would someone put their hair down if they're a guest? That seems impolite on its own
@@MayYourGodGoWithYou How? What harm is done to you by a piece of fabric on someones head? You do nothing but restrict yourself and others by clinging to these pointless draconian protocols.
4:32 Some etiquette "rules" are for hygiene purposes, avoiding cross contamination. When eating a scone, the same knife should not be used to scoop and spread the cream and the jam! There should be a separate spoon for the cream and jam. A small blob of each should be placed on the side of the plate and then a knife should be used for spreading. In this scene even the amount of cream and jam put on the scone is wrong. The cream is supposed to be a substitute for butter and thinly spread, followed by a similar layer of jam. Big faux Pas to have slatherings of jam and cream that could end up all over your chops when biting into the scone. But, in private that's half the fun eating a well smothered scone!😉
I really like the acknowledgement that etiquette evolves through time and that good etiquette is about making others feel comfortable not rubbing their noses in the fact that they've made a 'mistake', it's like the opposite of snobbery but so many people seem to think that snobbery is good etiquette 😂😂
I mean, conversely, there are plenty of people out there who seem to think that good etiquette is snobbery .. too.
There's certainly a level of 'snobbery' in etiquette. It is bad etiquette to point out to a person that they made a mistake, but it is not uncommon for people to talk about these mistakes behind that person's back after the fact.
@@flamethrow868 I feel like that would still count as people having pretty bad/poor/ etiquette. My mother always told me it was terrible manners to speak ill of those who were not present to defend themselves; and there is a reason that the phrase "stabbed in the back" has a common metaphorical usage, not just a literal one.
@@flamethrow868 But etiquette in history was not just for the elite or upper class. It doesn't have to go hand in hand with snobbery either. In 'Emma' by Jane Austen you can get a really good idea of the different classes and etiquette I think. And what stood out to me is that in that book it were the middle or lower classes that were gossipping and talking badly about others, while the upper class was always trying to 'fix up' their mistakes often even without them knowing. And these mistakes were not just about rules but also about really hurting other peope. The upper class also took so much more responsibility in caring for others like visiting people regurarly, asking how people are doing, bringing food to sick people. And not just within their own class but to everyone in the village. I think a lot of times people associate good etiquette with the upper class being snobbery because they're just jealous. Good etiquette was there to help people deal with social situations and I wish we had preserved more of that etiquette in society nowadays.
Isn't etiquette as often about avoiding embarrassment for yourself and maintaining or improving your status as it is about making others feel comfortable?
The Ralph Bellamy scene in Pretty Woman is, to me, the ultimate in good manners: he sees someone struggling with an etiquette issue and finds a way to help her out while making her feel comfortable.
We were dining at a nice restaurant in the city with another couple, and my 5 year old daughter spilled her water glass. The waiter was there in two seconds with a new table cloth, but he won this mother’s heart when he accidentally - on purpose “spilled” a bit of something before he changed it out and told my daughter it was Ok - see, he even did it sometimes.
Yes! I’ve always understand that manners are for making other people comfortable-it’s an act of service to the people around you to have good manners. Not to be snobby or superior, but to ensure everyone feels comfortable and welcome.
I heard an etiquette expert explicitly explain that being tactful and making sure everybody is comfortable and nobody is embarrassed is always more important than the strict etiquette rules.
This act toward your daughter just...just melted my heart
Especially now, kindness is the most precious thing 💖
Or he was just responding how men traditionally do when around pretty women. 😁
I love the reminder that the best etiquette is never shaming or embarrassing someone who doesn’t know the right customs 💕
Well many etiquette coaches really do not get it and are assholes.
Exactly. A truly classy person introduces her gardener to a visiting friend exactly the same way she would royalty. Sometimes the way people treat their staff is more telling than the way they treat their peers.
I WOULD SAY, IN A CASE LIKE THIS, ONE WOULD, SLIP THIER CUSTOMS TO MAKE THE GUEST FEEL WELCOME. SO THEY ‘SHOT’ A FLUTE… WELL, TAKE THE SHOT, AND OFFER A ‘PROPER’ DRINK THEY CLEARLY WANT. POUR THEM A SCOTCH. DON’T FORGET, IT’S ALL BASED ON POLITENESS, HOWEVER, EVENTS ARE MEANT TO BE FUN. SO SOMETIMES SLIPPING A RULE, WILL MAKE SOMEONE FEEL WELCOME, INCLUDED THEREFORE BEING THE CORRECT ETIQUETTE. ‘OVER DEMONSTRATING’ THE CORRECT ETQ WOULD MAKE THEM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AS MUCH AS LETTING THEM KNOW, AS THAT ACTION ALSO LETS THEM KNOW. I WAS IN SUCH A RUCH THE OTHER NIGHT, ARRIVED LATE, AND FORGOT TO PUT MY NAPKIN DOWN PROPERLY. NO ONE CARED. OH, ALWAYS REMEMBER, A HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE IS NEVER PROPER ETQ. EXCEPT, WHEN ONE MUST RETURN A FORMALLY SPOKEN INSULT. THE CORRECT ATTITUDE IN A REBUKE IS ESSENTIAL 😂😊
Ngl the "talking in every direction to make sure nobody is neglected" thing is something I would unironically like to bring back. Like, that's just being nice and very easy to do.
Agreed. Many aspects of etiquette and genteel manners are just good sense and inclusion.
Customer service trained me into that one, and I still do it with groups to this day. Especially if I know or suspect that some of the people I'm chatting with are too polite to just excitedly interrupt like me and most of my friends will do in casual conversation with each other. xD
Tbh i think the kinder thing to do is not fake/force a connection. That way no energy is wasted and no feelings are hurt. Also it makes it easier for people on the spectrum to understand who is a potential friend and who is not.
My mother always said “part of having good manners is putting up with other’s bad manners”
Bless her, I felt better while reading this.
Yeah, I think they portrayed this very well in _Princess Diaries_
I adored it when the staff would tell Mia "It happens all the time" while smiling at her warmly.
That's very good advice! Thank you for sharing. I'm going to take that with me always :>
She’s so good at explaining each time period’s etiquette, would love to see her again
I love how passionate and enthusiastic she is when she talks about this. Means she really enjoys what she does.
My grandmother used to have me read etiquette books when I would spend summers with her. To this day I'll set tables a specific way and I eat a specific way when I sit down for formal dinners 🤣 (Thanksgiving etc). My ex fiance whispered in my ear at dinner for me to relax the first time I met his dad and step mom, and I said "I can't, it's habit" lol. His step mom commented on my proper posture and etiquette lolololol, it's so embarrassing 🤣
In the 60s a British gentleman explained the art of hand kissing to me. If the hand is bare the gentleman discreetly brushes the skin with his lips. If she is wearing gloves he takes the hand in the usual manner and makes a brief, small bow over the hand. This is almost never depicted in film or TV shows. Also, if a woman or man shakes hands with another person of appropriate rank the glove is removed for that gesture. I have never seen this on TV.
I've seen the gloves removed to shake hands a lot on German WWII flicks
I was always told that the lips shouldn’t actually touch the hand, imagine how gross it would be to get someone’s saliva on your hand 🤣 they get it right in the Spanish series ‘Gran Hotel’
And the woman is the one to initiate contact, not the man
some Ettiquette rules just seem weird
Probably depends on timeperiod too
In the south, we called them charm classes, and I took one for several Saturdays in about 1978. Learned to sit and stand properly, how to get into and out of a car properly, how to make introductions (I can still remember in what order to introduce the Queen and President), personal grooming, how to serve tea and, of course, how to navigate silverware, place settings and even finger bowls! We also did a little tea room modeling to practice public speaking by sharing info about what we were wearing and the local store we were promoting. Even though it sounds like the 1950s, these skills have actually come in handy over the years at formal dinners on cruises, corporate dinners and such, and best of all, gives confidence when faced with an unfamiliar situation! I know I sound old when I say this, but I've met a lot of people who could do with a little social training, even something as basic as looking others in the eye, speaking clearly instead of mumbling, and knowing basics like how to answer a phone or compose a few sentences with complete words and punctuation. Maybe next time, Ms. Meier could review movies set in more current times and suggest appropriate etiquette for 2022!
Your lucky... In my country, such thing do not exist unless you are rich enough to get a class...
I love this suggestion of pointing out appropriate etiquette in modern movies.
I agree, and I would also like to ask if there is such a thing as “ladylike” behavior in this day and age, as we saw it to prevalently in this video throughout the time periods.
@Sarafina Summers cleaning your fingers (but not your hands). It's just water in the bowl, maybe lemony water.
Sounds cool. I would like to visit a few lessens like this, even though I'm not a girl. But i thing it would be useful for me
"Hey the Queen is doing a... normal pose. What do we do?!"
"Relax, we can just call it 'Queen's pose' and it will be a new thing!"
"Genius!"
😂😂😂
That's basically how the last button came undone, only because on british king ate too much.
The bad manners part of Downton Abbey was intentional. It was showing Moseley 's faux pas'. It was to make us feel bad for him. We all knew how badly he goofed
It's part of why he's a fan favorite. He's such an earnest man, eager to show what he can do, proud of how well the Downton staff pulled off that dinner, but is socially awkward. He blossoms as a teacher, both in helping Daisy and working at the village school.
I have seen behind the scenes shows for DA. The actors have high respect for their etiquette coach. He is reputed to be fierce!😁
I was Just going to say the same thing!😁
Doesn't matter, it was not correct!
It was all part of the train wreck that was that terrible movie. Princess Margaret would have loved that to actually happen. She hated when events went perfectly. Like the footman who spilled the cream on Edward VII when he was Prince of Wales. Talk about good manners. He said, "My good man I am not a strawberry," and laughed. The best was a Dame Helen Greville who hosted fabulous parties at her country house. She had a butler who was a drinker and one night she passed him a note during an important dinner party she have having that said "You are clearly very drunk, leave immediately." He gave it to one of her guests. Sometimes the servants did seize the upper hand.
Not to mention in the P&P scene a gentleman wouldn’t have clasped her hand with his thumb like that unless he was very familiar to her. When a gentleman offers his hand to help a lady up or down she might clasp his hand for balance but for him to return it was Darcy slipping and showing her how he felt
TH-cam can tell you which part of any video is "Most Replayed" and it made me laugh to see it was the P&P clip that viewers of this video kept rewatching lol
When the Dowager corrects Mary for talking in the wrong direction, (Downton Abbey) it may be poor etiquette, but it is deliberate. She's a famously outspoken character and likes to assert her opinions and gets away with it through force of character and respect for her age and status. Publically correcting her granddaughter may not be 'correct', but she simply doesn't care. She's reminding Mary of correct manners and doing it publically is her way of putting Mary in her place.
The first Downton Abbey scene reminds me of the scene in Pride and Prejudice when Lady Catherine chastises Mr. Collins for sitting next to his wife. Correcting his poor etiquette with worse etiquette is such a great use of satire on Jane Austen's part. 😂
I love your knowledge of Devon and Cornwall cream and jam etiquette. That's a deep cut.
I grew up in Devon and am cream first all the way.
However, the solution to all this debate is to create a kind of raspberry ripple effect and swirl the two together. You're welcome.
Also depends on the jam, if it is slightly runny it is better to put the cream first then the jam for obvious reasons, no matter which county you are in (told to me by a Cornishwoman years ago).
@@MayYourGodGoWithYou that's interesting, I wonder if jams made in Devon tend to be made runnier than jams made in Cornwall which may reflect the tradition
@@LeavesofLilac Could be, certainly explain a lot.
Is it the same if you are having butter instead of cream?
WHAT ARE THE RULES?!?!?!?!
@@theguywhoisaustralian1465 But if you can have clotted cream who'd want butter? 😄
Having lived in Japan for 20 yrs, I learned most of these manners and etiquette that are never outdated in Japanese society. So, you can just tell my culture shock when I moved here to the States some 30 yrs ago. Thank you for an interesting video.
Are you perhaps referring to the old: cut steak into small pieces with knife in right hand, fork in left, then put knife down, transfer fork to right hand to eat and shuffle the food around the plate, like a sad clown, till it gets on the fork? LOL!
That's okay. When you need someone really honest you can call on us. 😂
"Bridgerton" even gets the hunting totally wrong. "Hunting" in England traditionally means a fox hunt, on horseback and with hounds. What we see in the movie is "shooting", on foot and with guns.
The whole series seems to be some kind of mock to the period drama. Too feminist for me.
I know they wanted to portray women as strong and independent, but the total series seems to be made by some one who has no idea.
@@Boop-beep-bap Lol I don’t think they were trying to be period accurate. The “too feminist for me” is very telling of yourself though.
@@Boop-beep-bap it’s a drama series, ofc it’s not going to be accurate and also “too feminist for me” ??? Women finally standing up for themselves especially during that time is too much for u?
@@Boop-beep-bap "too feminist for me" my brother in christ what does that mean
@@Boop-beep-bap not to oblierate you too much, as others already have, but (as someone aho doesn't even watch the show) it's historical fantasy, not historical fiction. i dont know why you have your panties in a wad.
I agree with correcting someone's bad etiquette in public as being rude I think that also applies too other things like having a personal argument Infront of other people depending on the situation of course great video
It would’ve been an amazing transition to critique Princess Diaries right after Pretty Woman - Princess Diaries does an almost shot-for-shot of the escargot scene, with the same actor playing the waiter laying down the “it happens all the time” line…
My heart just skipped a beat during that Pride and Prejudice scene
It gets me every single time! I always get butterflies.
I love it so much, their first touch...
I gotta call out the claim that "the hand" was Matthew MacFayden's "natural reaction" like it was some kind of spontaneous bit of physical acting - "the hand" is a dedicated shot where the camera is focused tight on his hand - why would the camera be focused on his hand? Even the idea that maybe he flexed his hand at the end of the take where he helped Keira up, and the director noticed it, and then added the hand-flex into the shooting schedule, seems pretty unlikely (given the nature of schedules). "The hand" is a planned shot, set up and done as a specific take. Still hot tho.
I love this etiquette coach! She is the epitome of good etiquette herself - so approachable and lovely but also discerning.
That's wild, that it was no longer acceptable for women to go hunting by the Regency era. Hawking, riding with hounds, and keeping male relatives/family friends company while hunting were all part of being a well-rounded lady back in the day; Elizabeth I was considered quite adept at all three, and shooting into the bargain.
The point was that she was the only woman there.
In the same vein, when her relation with her husband was still distant, Marie-Antoinette tried to take an interest in hunting, a hobby of his, to try to get closer to him, show that she has interest in what he likes. There even is a painting of her hunting.
I don’t think the presenter here is quite correct. It wasn’t super common but it also wasn’t prohibited. Good article easily found via googling found a few sources to support this. Agree with the commenter that more likely the issue in the bridgerton scene was that she was the only woman.
I love how knowledgeable she is with the history as well
What a gorgeous and surprising unpretentious expert (considering her area of speciality) Really enjoyed this video and even learnt a couple of things! Many thanks, Love your great content. 💚💙💜Bellè~ Australia x
I agree, for someone who studied etiquette (in this day and age) to be so unpretentious and (seemingly at least) so relaxed/chilled, easygoing, friendly & warm seems unusual, or at least not stereotypical...
With the exception of the uppermost-upper class, etiquette (beyond the usual, general good manners), does not play much of a role at all in society today, let alone the highly important one it used to, so people who decide to study it are often considered to be very snobby. OR, perhaps more accurately, WANTING to be very snobby - Wanting to learn it so that they can utilise it and feel superior to the people around them making 'social blunders' left & right - Meaning they would stereotypically be cold and superior (acting) rather than friendly and relaxed.
I also agree that I very much enjoyed this video. I found it to be both informative and entertaining. I greatly enjoyed the little bits of backstory and explanations that were included; backstory such as the original Asian tea cups being the reason we hold tea cups as we do (or should at least), as well as the reason the little finger used to be held up and why it shouldn't be today.
And explanations like the lack of the usual gloves making what would normally be polite & correct/appropriate into startling & risqué...
I would love it if she made a video with some of the more common &/OR more obscure etiquette and the reasoning, backstory, etc behind how/why it came to be a part of manners/etiquette, as well as how/why it has altered over the years until what we have today.
And finally, though it has no relevance, I'm Australian too. LOL.
Oh, as an added postscript, I wasn't trying to insult people who learn etiquette, I was just talking about how they're typically viewed, whether it's fair or not, whether it's correct or not.
Or, more accurately, I KNOW that it's both correct & fair in some cases, just as I KNOW it's both COMPLETELY incorrect & COMPLETELY unfair in others.
Anyway, thanks for the video and for your comment Bellè.
Cheers, Guy
Gorgeous is a stretch but she seems nice
It's a pity she has such an annoying prescence. Her vouce is so unpleasant on the ears. Not accent I might add but quality of voice.
Of course, one's opinion is better expressed with accurate spelling 😀
Honestly found this as interesting as the mob boss and casino cheats ones I've been watching 😂
It's true that those of the upper class or "in the know " show good etiquette by being forgiving and helpful. We're all human
I love Hugh Jackman character in Kate and Leopold where he was a gentleman practicing etiquette in the modern world.
I was following her on Instagram, didn't know she did an episode here. Love her easy and clear explaination. Her content on IG is also very simple and straight forward on some day to day ettiquette too
Thanks I'll be sure to look her up. I like her relaxed style of communication
Also, in Bridgerton, wearing evening gowns during the day: a big no!
Between the awful clothing, the cultural appropriation and the terrible writing, I wouldn't know where to start with the mess that is that britdgerton thing ...
@@hi-ve1cw It’s not supposed to be historically accurate. Try to have some fun
@@hi-ve1cw They weren't actually intending to go for historical accuracy, it's not a classical period drama in that sense.
@@hi-ve1cw I agree. The multi-ethnic casting is really cool, but as a fan of historical dramas I expect the rest to be at least a little accurate. I believe it's basically an alternate England in which racial progress happened sooner due to the Queen's marriage so everything else should still be the same.
@@hi-ve1cw Why can’t people like something historical stylistically? This is not the retelling of an event or someone’s life. You shouldn’t be expecting historical accuracy out of this. It’s just a fun show with something different to it.
I would looove to see a video on the current beliefs associated with Etiquette at the upper class. It's very interesting to see representations of old customs and review them, but we don't often get to see what current actions are perceived as well-mannered in our current society.
Especially because it remains a powerful myth that tradition is unchanging. It turns out traditions change much faster than we tend to assume, and it would be lovely to hear what the most recent form of etiquette traditions has been.
Loved this. Period pieces are my jam. Darcy being like "ooh. hot!" lmao. I was always crazy for that scene.
This was fascinating and so much fun to watch. I would love to see a part two with this expert.
They weren't going ''hunting'', because ladies DID hunt, and have done since mediaeval times. There are many pictures of ladies at the the hunt going after the fox or deer. (Hunting = - usually - horses & foxhounds after foxes but in the past also deer and hunting with hawks). Great sight on New Year's Day is to go to the local pub and watch the hunt set off in their scarlet accompanied by the hounds and followers. Done this many times.
In Bridgerton (is that correct) they were obviously going SHOOTING. And no, women didn't go shooting as far as I can ascertain. (shooting = guns and shooters?? after pheasant, grouse, pigeon, or vermin.) Ladies do go shooting nowadays though.
It was incredibly rare for women to hunt on horseback because in order to safely hunt, they'd need to wear mens' clothing and ride astride which was unladylike. The only people that could get away with it were queens and prostitutes.
At the time, long dresses and riding side saddle were the norm, but because it was before the invention of the leaping head, it was really easy to fall off, so women were at a severe disadvantage even if they bothered/were allowed to go out and hunt with the men.
@@thetrashmaster1352 Which era. The modern side saddle had been invented by then and it is extremely hard to fall off when riding side saddle. My daughter claims it is far safer than riding astride (she will only ride side saddle if it's at all possible) and ladies going hunting in Regency times was common.
@@MayYourGodGoWithYou modern side saddle, and saddles in general, were invented in the 1830’s. The regency era ended in 1820.
She was holding the gun wrong, why on earth would you put the rifle over your shoulder like that.
@@NotMykl My guess, because it looks good on the telly. Can't think of any other reason and she wouldn't have been shooting in period either, although she may have known how to use a pistol. Certainly Georgette Heyer - who did do her research before writing her books - had at least one character able to shoot accurately with a pistol because she had an unusual upbringing and had travelled in dangerous regions over the years (Grand Sophy, probably my favourite of her books). But none went our shooting for birds, which I'm guessing is what this scene involved. I haven't seen the series, not of any interest to me, and don't intend watching it anyway but I can't see why else she would be mishandling a weapon in that way unless she thinks she's actually in the USAmerican wild west. Not only that but her clothing looks to be odd for the outdoor action as well.
"Gracefully and grandly.... Gracefully and grandly...." I never get over that scene. I still laugh everytime I watch that scene. And "A League of Their Own" such a gooooooooooood film!!!
Marla absolutely nails this scene. 🤣
That one girl looked like she was doing some sort of german greeting ;)
Etiquette now is misunderstood as something superficial and self-centred. In reality, it’s about presenting yourself properly to others. It’s being mindful of others.
Would love to see her again! Loved this!
Fun Fact: some said that at the Palace of Versailles some nobles did put their pinkies up while drinking tea in assemblies, but it was a secret and scandalous code, indicating that they had a venereal disease and would be unable to accept new bedpartners for a while.
Woah, that truly is scandalous! But why would they send out that message though? Are they expected to swing partners?!
Lmao why did we get rid this? this should be common practice in unis
I doubt anyone would willingly admit that
That's actually an English rumour, and is not true.
This is false, if they did not wish to participate in the nightly activities they would fob off such attentions by feigning a headache. Anyone retiring early to write letters was making it clear that they did not wish to be disturbed.
Very enjoyable, I hope we see her come back for more movie commentary.
That’s the thing with Mosley. He’s a rogue. You never know what the cheeky devil is going to get up to next.
The papers in UK seem split on reporting Cornwall vs Devon for how the royals take scones. The Oldie (beloved of Vanity Fair) reports the Royal pastry chefs now serve them Devon style, while the former Royal chef Darren McGrady (trained in London where they serve in the Cornwall way) says Cornwall style. I spent 15mins looking this up - I think I need a hobby.
Downton abbey is one of the most authentic material related to these things I've watched. It feels so real
This was really interesting! 😊 I hope there’s a part 2.
I love how etiquette always makes so much sense. It's really the apex of organization and consideration.
As a man, tried to do the Cambridge Cross, realized my ankles needed to touch, heard a pop, I will not be doing the Cambridge Cross again.
What a delightful teacher! I would love to see more videos with her
This is strangely cool and interesting with a lot more depth than I would have expected.
Thanks for pointing out Mr. Darcy's hand flex.
Its interesting watching Korean TV because that's a culture where people still bow to each other, where strict forms of etiquette are still followed, where formal and informal forms speech is strictly enforced, where people are referred to by their title rather than their name. All within a modern first world society.
It's a HUGE pain in the butt though, there are so many things you have to watch out for when you're interacting with other people, it can make socializing rather painful.
@@hi-ve1cw some cultures are more strict than others though. For example, russian has formal and informal speech but it's more of how to divide when you are speaking to your superiors vs. when you are speaking to your buddies. In other cultures and languages such as korean or japanese, the etiquette is more strictly enforced and there are more faux pas that you can make.
I grew up in a pretty traditional family, and to this day I don't know the names of any of my aunts or uncles, much less my grandparents. When I learned my parents proper names it was for legal purposes lol
@@hi-ve1cw Korean has SEVEN freaking levels of formality, not just formal and informal. And nuances within those. It's a real pain trying to learn it. But a beautiful language nevertheless, so harmonious and made for love songs.
@@hi-ve1cw That is true.
Like in French there are two ways of saying 'you are'. 'Tu es' is casual while 'vous etes' is formal.
And it's the same in English. Like if we need to go to the bathroom, formally we would say "I'm just going to the bathroom" and casually it would be "I need to pee". But then the most formal way is to just simply excuse yourself and don't mention where you are going.
I believe this is very useful to understand the mindsets throughout different epochs. If I was to constantly pay attention to my movements, how I held a cup and which phrases I could apply to different ages and statuses, it would surely have affected my whole personality.
Which was entirely the point. People were expected to know their place.
@@HO-bndk I live in a country, where we call our teachers, co-workers and bosses by their first names. We had strict etiquette until the 70's, where the prime minister himself asked his co-workers to drop them, and so did the entire nation eventually.
When I was a bridesmaid in the 90s we all practiced the walk down the aisle with the book on the head!
I loved the Downton Abbey dinner scene, so funny with of all the etiquette disasters which happened but so nicely covered by the Queen, so well written. Bridgerton is such an enjoyable romp I have to just let go and enjoy the ride 😂
Yes, the ultimate purpose of good etiquette is so that everyone feels comfortable and confident and to make anyone feel discomfort in public is a crime of etiquette.
One of the loveliest and most important things about hosting an event is ensuring the comfort and happiness of your guests above all.
Funnily enough etiquette does the exact opposite. It makes me uncomfortable and nervous.
@@AWlpsSHOW36 it just means that you care enough about other people that you won't chew with your mouth open, or having them listen to you smack and chew on your food. I've seen plenty of times where a little etiquette would've gone a long way
Myka! Wonderful to see you presenting this fascinating vid. Bravo 👏
Very cool the hostess was so knowledgeable love the little tips!
Fun fact: there hasn't been a Queen of England since the Act of Union in 1707. Queen Anne, played by Olivia Colman in The Favourite, was the last Queen of England. Elizabeth II is Queen of the United Kingdom
Isn’t the queen also queen of Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Antigua and Barbuda, The Bahamas, Belize, Grenada, Jamaica, Papua New Guinea, Saint Lucia, Solomon Islands, St Kitts and Nevis, and St Vincent and the Grenadines?
@@jade_ehx600 Yes
@@jade_ehx600 But for some reason people in the US have a habit of ''forgetting'' that Queen Elizabeth of Canada actually exists. Odd given Canada is their neighbour.
@@TSV805 Canada is your neighbour, many of you constantly bring up your failed invasion attempt on Canada in 1812 so you definitely don't forget Canada exists and many of you like to claim that you beat Canada and only withdrew out of the goodness of your hearts (dodgy education there but still). Either way, ignoring Queen Elizabeth of Canada and refusing to acknowledge she exists is the same as Canada deciding that the President of the US doesn't exist and totally ignoring him.
@@TSV805 and with that the us also forgot how to be respectful towards other countries lol
WOAH - the last part about true ladies being slowed down - if you've ever watched Lady Colin Campbell aka "Lady C," she speaks so enormously slowly (and is very aristocratic) that I listen to her on 1.5 speed. This finally explains WHY she's like that!! She's very old school so now finally I get it because she's clearly quite bright. Fascinating - she must have been trained that way as a proper young lady. It gives her time to come up with sharp zingers ha ha.
Except she isn't an aristocrat, she is the ex-wife of a younger stepson of a Duchess
This was so fun!! She should come again. Theres plenty more movies and shows she could do
we always assume etiquette to have a stuck-up spirit behind it, since characters who are practicing it are stuck up, but it seems to be based in respect.
That's entirely what it is. It's carefully designed to preserve everyone's dignity.
I wonder what the proper etiquette is when you're served something you don't eat... Like escargot - I won't touch it - but could I gracefully and respectfully pass on that course, or would that be rude?
I don't know what an actual school of etiquette would say, but I was taught that you should never bring it up. Either have only a bite, pretend to eat it, or just wait until the next course. Typically, you would at least try something, even if you've never had it or it doesn't look appetizing to you. When you're having a dinner with multiple courses, you might not eat all of everything anyway, so you can just drink and talk in the meantime. It used to be that the plates would be removed and the next course brought in either by indication/planning of the host or when the most important person at the table had finished eating, but now I think it's more of a timed thing. You would indicate that you're done eating by how you place your silverware on the plate, so the staff would know you've finished. It's worthy to note that a good host should always plan their menu to be mindful of what their guests would like to eat, taking into account allergies and dietary restrictions.
@@liv97497 Not enough hosts even bother to ask if a guest has allergies or restrictions. I remember the first time I asked people to let me know if they had any allergies and they were flabbergasted because nobody had ever had the consideration to find out in advance so an alternative could be worked out.
No passing - it would be a little rude, and you would be sitting there with no food in front of you, which would mean that any other plates (down to the charger) would have to be removed for that course and replaced for the next. Because 🙀that anyone should have an empty plate in front of them. It would be pretty embarrassing for you. You are, however, allowed to shove a small portion under the lettuce if there is any on the plate, and if it’s in your mouth before you realize it’s revolting, you can do the fake wipe your lips spit it in the napkin. Personally, I think it’s bad etiquette to serve escargot at a formal dinner, because snails, but also because it’s bound to make some of your guests uncomfortable - the plate with special dents for the snails, the snail shells with those silly tongs that never get a good grip on the shell, digging the snail out. Plus the snail has already been removed, cleaned, seasoned and put back in the shell. If you have to hide it after you make it… it would be like putting the top back on a raw oyster.
Thank you all! I'm not a picky eater, but there are a few things (olives, marzipan and seafood - including snails and frog legs) that just activate my gag reflex. I would be horrified if the hosts thought I was gagging because of the quality of their food!
I thought this would be boring and it was actually pretty fun! I shall no longer drink thy tea with thy pinky up and I shall opt for the middle finger approach instead... haha! That made my day honestly!
She was delightful.. More of her, please!!
Good job explaining each scene. Titanic is ultimately my favorite movie
I'm so glad people liked this episode, I was quite worried she would be unpopular, given the subject matter and her expertise.
THIS...beyond fantastic! Can't wait to watch all the series to observe and learn much more.
You should definitely make a video about the Asian forms of etiquettes in former times, it is pretty interesting as well
My headcanon with the Princess Diaries one is maybe that's their country's proper etiquette, with the Queen not crossing her legs.
My favorite movie is A League of their Own. "Sip, down. Don't slurp." 😂
Also, the movie came out in 1992, and the gap between the 1940's and that time is roughly 45 years.
The comparable gap of our time in 2022 would be the mid 1970's. 😮
It's strange to think about timelines. 😳
A lot can change in a span of a decade,more so in 50 years...
I watched it as a pre-teen and loved it. It reflected the time period of my grandparents although they were a little younger than these women at this time so it definitely seemed like a completely different world.
that movie is one of my all time favourite sports movies and I love that it would've actually have been a thing when my grandpa was alive
Great video interesting stuff love princess diaries grew up watching them
Myka Meier did an AMAZING job with this video! Very talented and natural!
I loved this. I'm all about proper etiquette. I wish people were still like this. I'm often called "stuck-up" because I choose to be proper.
I’m not proper but I would be impressed with anyone that practices proper etiquette, it’s not stuck-up it’s great.
Thanks for this video, Myka. :)
A lot of people think that proper etiquette isn't relevant anymore, but it really is. It's just practised in a different way. Etiquette and good manners are a simple way of showing respect for those around you, not a matter of class or socioeconomic level. Sadly, good manners are lacking by a lot of people these days, but it can be learned if a person takes the time to do so.
I can’t imagine being an etiquette expert in today’s 🌎 of social media & tackiness. Things must drive her politely & discreetly crazy 😂
No way...more clients!
Informative and enjoyable.
Myka Meier is a delight!
I love etiquettes. I wish we still had some stuff like this. its very disciplined
I'm still young & still learning.
I'd love so much to hear Julie Andrews share in her own words what topics are most Etiquette at the table & at tea socials. Etc.
Patrick Star famously said “when in doubt, pinkie out” so now I don’t know what to believe
My grandma used to put coins under my armpits at the beginning of dinner, if they were still there at the end , I got to keep them. Since then I never slouched or was a slob at a table. Thanks grandma ❤️
I really love the idea of switching who you talk to so no one feels left out.
More of this please!
I agree.
Ahh, I loved Moseley's curtsy! It was so awkward, poor man! I died laughing. So glad he got a good ending in the second movie.
Gracefully and grandly is my new motto
That curtsy is the only way to acknowledge that much of a difference and level it that way. He is supporting the man he is the entire time and the actor clearly understands what’s going on. He backs out to spiritually make a genuine end to it to in order to keep working most effectively in case it was a serious issue and they didn’t have that respect. It also gives him a more altered self cushion to handle a conversation about it if that happened as he’s known them all so long.
I couldn't imagine existing this way constantly
Excellent- informative and interesting!
I love all this period dramas.....
I could not handle this, it just sounds exhausting
Great explanation in simple words. I love the color of her blouse.
I wasn’t looking at the screen when she said her name and for a split second I thought I’ll be watching Michael Myers correct movie characters’ etiquette
At 4:15, she adds the cream and jam to the whole slice --- wrong. One bite at a time should be torn and spreads added then. yes? Also the queen makes noise with her cutlery and plate. European manners dictate that they should make no noise -- true even today, so I'm told.
At 9:00, kissing in public was tabu even between married couples. Even up to the 1960s it was unusual.
At 4:47 : the entire table can subtly "flip the bird" to one another. I do love them British.
In the 1960s I attended private school in Scarsdale NY. Girls’ gym classes were conducted by a Belgian lady who was also our French teacher. She did have us parading in circles with books on our heads!
Men would absolutely do big deep court bows, watch John adams to see him bow when presented to George III, Mosley is simply reverting to an older more deferential style of bow.
I was surprised by how interesting and enjoyable this was! Thank you!!
i don’t know if it’s just me but I cannot watch bridgerton. The storyline is horrible in my opinion. I wish they did a better job.
I never thought a video explaining manners would be so interesting.
I've seen people use etiquette as a club to make other people feel uncomfortable, when it's true purpose is to people/guests at ease.
It's quite understandable in a world full of people who are such absolute trash.
I have never eaten escargot in shell before or on a plate.
It was always cooked and served in an escargot bowl with butter, mushrooms, and the shell underneath the meat.
Mr Molesley was MORTIFIED in the scene with the king, the bow/curtsy mistake was intentional 😂
But the King and Queen made him feel more comfortable by covering for him.
Most of these "rules" seem so arbitrary. Except for the ones about not making others feel worse. I don't know how hats coming off after 6 matters in the least.
Impolite to wear a hat indoors, then and now.
6pm is close to dinner and you should be preparing to head to bed so why is your hat still on? in otherwords you are in the process of letting your hair down.
That’s where I tapped out; just not my thing
@@Marveryn it's really not common for people to have dinner anywhere near 6pm in Asia lol. Also why would someone put their hair down if they're a guest? That seems impolite on its own
@@MayYourGodGoWithYou How? What harm is done to you by a piece of fabric on someones head? You do nothing but restrict yourself and others by clinging to these pointless draconian protocols.
Another example of etiquette I would've liked to see reviewed is *Poldark.*
What this is telling me is that there are different schools of etiquette and that etiquette differs between sides of the pond.
4:32
Some etiquette "rules" are for hygiene purposes, avoiding cross contamination.
When eating a scone, the same knife should not be used to scoop and spread the cream and the jam!
There should be a separate spoon for the cream and jam.
A small blob of each should be placed on the side of the plate and then a knife should be used for spreading.
In this scene even the amount of cream and jam put on the scone is wrong.
The cream is supposed to be a substitute for butter and thinly spread, followed by a similar layer of jam.
Big faux Pas to have slatherings of jam and cream that could end up all over your chops when biting into the scone.
But, in private that's half the fun eating a well smothered scone!😉
Myka is so fun to watch! What a great video.