Many narcissists can be charming, charismatic and attractive. Which is very dangerous. Because really, they’re self-absorbed, lacking empathy and exploitative. They’re wolves in sheep’s clothing. They’re the opposite of what they present themselves to be. But by the time you figure this out, you’re already emotionally invested into the illusion of their false character. You believe they’re something more ideal, rather than who they actually are, which is something you do NOT want, need or desire.
This is so true. I think the root cause is that they can’t handle, no one ever impressed upon them, the least little disappointment there is that needs to be accepted. If they are not glorified, they will make you beg. If they are not heard, they will rage. If you get sick and can’t do something, they will rage. Then their rage turns to throwing things at you and sabotage. People don’t know what sabotage is. Sabotage is a horrible act where they can come into your workplace and make you get fired. It is when they take your things like your car and sell it. It is when they take your clothing and give it away or throw it away.
As my mom use to say, " paranoia will destroy yah" myself I'm disappointed in how others attack personal morals and views .I don't see the narcs manipulations untill it was too late .....I had to go grey rock.
That describes my mother in law. Woman is dangerous and we refuse to visit alone. The last time we visited, my mother in law smashed her sewing machine on my wive's achilles tendon. My wife can barely walk due to a neurological disorder. She got worse after her stroke. Full on rage.
My life was forever changed in September 2019 when my narcissist boyfriend bashed my face into the kitchen counter, leaving me with two seizures, a left broken eye socket, permanent facial disfigurement, and brain damage. "Why Does He Do That?" was the book that made me realize it wasn't my fault and all of this led me down the path to narcissism research and this channel. Just because they haven't gotten violent yet doesn't mean they never will.
@@Jungleboy-z4cSo true. Narcissistic women will chase a moving car especially if they think there is money in it. My oldest sister is that type of narcissist. She is horrific to all of us and then pretends she never did anything...
I have been married to a narcissist for 38 years. It took me decades to figure out what was going on, he has gotten worse over the years. I stayed until the kids were grown and left home as I feared he would take them away from me. After a lifetime of narcissistic abuse, I became severely chronically ill and mostly bedbound now. So it is too late now. I’m mostly writing this as a warning for younger people in narcissistic relationships as a warning. Get out while you still have your health. Sorry Dr. Ramani if this is the wrong video to be writing this on ❤
So sad for this! My mother did 30 years & then cancer took her @ 69 but I never married or had kids so didn’t perpetuate the family dysfunction yet I still struggle with depression now I am 66 💔❤️🩹♥️
My ex and I were only together in the marriage living together for 2 years. He used to try to get me to have a child like he wanted us to have a child together. And I was nervous about that so we never did have a child together. Looking back Now I'm I'm 100% or nearly 100% sure he would have sued for full custody he probably would have taken the child away from me and that would have been so hard on me. So I can understand your staying with him until the children were grown because of the fear that he would take them away from you.
I left 27 years into it, when my body shut down after 20+ years of mystery illnesses, auto-immune disorders and chronic issues. Removing stress from my life in all shapes and forms helped immensely. The body does keep the score. ❤
@@PCAGA2298 If we knew what narcissism meant would any of us be in the situation we are in? It also took me years and TH-cam videos to learn that I was right, he was not normal and I am not crazy like he has told me for years that I was. There is more to the story, like being isolated from everyone. We don’t do anything fun outside of our home anymore because he has no friends. He goes to work while he don’t want me to have a job.. No friends, no family or social interaction. I don’t even have a social media account. It’s an awful way to live, he don’t seem to mind it. The older the narcissist gets the worse they are. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
@PCAGA2298 hi there. You are absolutely correct. You have to get away from them, even if you have to wait for years. I'm so sorry you had to endure his abuse for so long, and I am very disappointed to know that because of him you became unwell. I wish you the very best and I hope you will find something that will help with your ill health. 💐🌺🌹
Knowing that the law will not be on your side is really dangerous. Someone is extracting your life force from deep within and harming you in every way possible, but it's just a "toxic relationship", a "family matter" or a "tough workplace environment" in the eyes of the law.
THIS!! 🙌🏼 Money is more protected than people’s life and soul. They’re all talk about “leaving before getting hurt”, but yet when you do, no one’s interested in hearing about it, and that is IF they listen and believe you when you understand it’s time to leave before they physically assault you, and even then sometimes… CPS is being used against me rn, for “denigrating” the dad to the kids, for telling them that ‘it wasn’t their fault’ and ‘they’re right to feel how they did, his behaviour was unacceptable’ when he exploded on them in rage and threatened them to unalive me, in response to them (M15-13att) very maturely asking him to talk about living more with me, for whatever reason/s they had that I don’t even know about. It’s fvcking insanity.
We need more psychologists that truly understand narcissistic abuse. It's way more common than they think because they get lied to by the narcissistic abusers and it's so much for victims to explain.
Narcissists get treated for addiction or depression, but rarely stay in therapy for the long term because they don't believe that there is anything wrong. The rest of the world is the problem, not them. And they get far worse with age. Get away from these people as quick as possible. They are not self aware and put up a false front. The person you think you love does not exist.
We need a narcissist registry.If there ever can be such a thing if somebody's been diagnosed and they have harmed someone just like we have a sex offender registry.
Social media can serve as good marker for that. The platform(s) are flooded with them. You see the grandiosity, self-absorption, inflated egoism, etc... everyday.
@@detroitvcw and here I was gaslighting myself into thinking maybe I’m just too judgmental about thinking that majority of people on social media are narcissistic 😮💨
I have been advocating for a narcissist registry for many years so I'm super aligned! Maybe people will be more open to it now, previously most people have told me it's not possible. If you want to work together to try to start one I'm game 😊.
Brilliant. These people ARE dangerous, and it's one of the hardest things for most of us to see and be aware of. The fear and disbelief can make us rationalize, and rationalize, and rationalize.
They can also do harm through neglect. Once my mom couldn't catch her breath, my toxic father said it was a panic attack "because I had one too" and left
Use your discernment and follow your gut. The malignant and covert narcissists, will always come back and haunt you if you injured their egos by calling them out and leaving their control. I have had this happen even 10 yrs later. They have no sense of time. They do not forget. I will be watching my back for the rest of my life.
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here.
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
This message that you responded to uo there was unfortunately spam. I would like to say something to you. Your relationship with the person you describe seems like a one sided relationship. They didn't care about you as much u did about them. Naivety, innocence, purity or pure delusion & projection from your side could have prolonged the relationship but it never was what it is supposed to be. Love is supposed to be good for both but what you are describing seems like you were making all the effort.
Since I learned what was happening it's like trying to perform my own autopsy....going back decades putting the pieces together of how I ceased to exist
The autopsy metaphor is painfully accurate - digging through decades of your own psychological death scene is brutal. Though I'd say you're less of a corpse and more of a very tired surgeon who keeps finding new layers of old damage. Still dark, still painful, but at least you're the one holding the scalpel now. Reconstruction is hell, but it beats being on someone else's slab.
I’m doing similar work now work now, the patterns were always there and now I’m like”Whoa!” But I had baby twin daughters with her, she knew I was dedicated to the family, and she also knew I would put up with a LOT, best wishes and prayers for your recovery, please remember you are NOT alone anymore….
@Jennx7080 Fellow forensic investigator of the self - glad the metaphor resonates. Sometimes, dark humor and medical analogies are the best tools we've got in this weird work. Keep wielding that scalpel with precision.
It's the lack of self awareness! They will condemn you for doing the exact same thing they are doing/saying about you. Growing up in a narcissistic family has destroyed me although I escaped 40 years ago!
One thing our society must do for its overall health is to take animal cruelty seriously; It is an earmark of the dangerous people among us. They should be on law enforcement’s radar. My mother taught me something discerning that her father told her- “A person who is cruel to children or animals isn’t worth a damn”
Yes but from what I’ve heard, and in my experience, it’s not much of a marker of narcissism. A lot of narcs love dogs because they feed into their egos. I think it applies more to psycho and sociopathic people. Often they engage in animal cruelty from a young age.
Dr. Ramani speaks truth to power not just on the interpersonal level, but to our whole culture, legal system, law enforcement and social systems... and how it condones and enables the abuse and danger to proliferate. She is so articulate. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
I saw the reality when I found out he was cheating and tried to leave. We were held hostage and I was not allowed to sleep that night. He dragged me thru the house in front of my kids. He kept me isolated until I said I would stay. It was a terrible experience 😢i got out that morning when he allowed me to take the kids to school. 😢😢. He still blames me years later . Before I went no contact he said that I didn't have the details correct. Apparently he didn't drag me by my hair. He dragged me by my arms . So I am a liar. This was so disturbing to see what a monster he is.
I wish I didn’t know what you’re speaking about, but I do. I haven’t felt safe for over a decade and I know that what’s happening isn’t going to end well. You can’t stop those who are hell bent to cause so much harm against someone who feels you’re the reason for their hate and anger. Family members are the worst because they will protect each other in order to hide their bad behavior against us, so it can seem like a no win situation and it usually is. I’m so exhausted not with why, but when.
It’s not easy. They usually already know your plan or know you well enough to guess. I sometimes wish we had a stand your ground law against stalkers. I wish you the best. I would say go to a place where people know you. They will see things that are out of order
Absolutely! I have been the brunt end of my mother’s narcissism and my sisters borderline/narcissistic behavior for a long while now. I had to go no-contact with my sister and she has been hell’s-bent on destroying me. She tried to break into many of my accounts, has stolen records from my files, including doctors records. She secretly put herself in a shared file on my phone and extracted a lot of personal information. She got on my elderly mothers iPad and got her Apple ID so she can get into my mother’s text messages and act like her and message me as if she’s my mother. As well as control what my mother sees from me (text wise). She is no doubt, trying to groom my mother to remove me from her Will. We are talking evil people! and sadly, some people that you go no contact with, and makes them more driven to find a way to destroy you!
Exactly 💯 Even my own family walks around with a scowl on their faces when I see them since my ex smear campaigned me to them before I left. Thank you, Dr. Ramani!! ❤️ This video just lifted me up some more to continue on my healing journey. I have had to walk away from so many people and start over, but I can't rely on toxic people to support me through my healing. Stay strong 💪🏻 ✨️ fellow survivors!!
My neighbor showed me the real person they are. they didnt get thier way and raged at me. years later they are still very bitter, passive aggressive, the smear campaign, the flying monkeys stalking. The police can not help. I have learned that i must watch and learn what they are doing. I stay aware and take care of myself. // I have learned so much from DrR.
Sending peace and hugs I have a inside view of what you are saying its a awful feeling having neighbors like this its been going on afew years not I am looking into moving, I have depression so it's taking a long time hopefully will do it in the new year very best wishes to you. 😊
Unfortunately the whole next door neighbour setup is a veritable playground for a narcissist looking for somebody to dominate, I would suggest not only watching, but actually recording (audio) of their utterances. You’d be surprised at what they come out with when you’re inside your house and they think you can’t hear them. The information they have on you, how they’re getting it, etc., can thusly be ascertained. If you know how they are getting information, you then have the means to misdirect them with false information. And, depending on your means, you may have enough evidence to convict them of what is, let’s face it, criminal behaviour. None of this is easy and I’m not going to pretend it is. And sometimes the best thing to do, is to do nothing.
I’ll just add … as long you don’t publish your audio recordings of them or share them online etc., you are on safe ground recording audio from the confines of your own property. The law does not consider this invasion of privacy in the way that pointing a video camera at their property would be. Publishing the audio recordings would be illegal, if it compromises your neighbours reputation etc. There s no reason why such recordings could not be used to inform the police, or be used as evidence in court.
I didn't think a 70 yr old mother could be so vindective & hateful. She tried to kill my cat, and then her pathological victimhood & paranoia was out of control. I wish I didn't know what it was like to be on the other side of Narcissist's vindective behaviors. She is gone, and I still don't feel safe.😢
I felt safer a few months after my father died - but I was still afraid for awhile! I have asked Spirit to ensure that that despicable person is NEVER in my presence again - not in the afterlife and not in another life - NEVER AGAIN.
@@JS-il9nw 🫨I never would have made the connection, but your post caused me to recall, about 15 years ago, meeting a young gal with 4 small children, she was in a terrified state. Her husband was an abuser, and she was freaking out because he cut off the paws of their cat 😱😱 This stuff is absolutely DEmonic.
My mother is a malignant narcissist. When I was having therapy as I desperately wanted to be free of that toxic relationship. My councillor warned ne of violence because I was moving on. I thought that ridiculous. Mum would never be violence. Then covid hit and I was in lockdown with mum and dad her enabler and mum turned violent with me. I was shocked. I dud the hardest thing and gad mum moved to a carehome last year. I go now and she us quiet and pleasant mostly and I feel drawn to her and then I remember. I no longer visit. I cannot trust myself. I still love my mother how crazy is that BUT she almost destroyed me. I was so depressed that I went to bed couldn't care if I lived ir died. I loosed 2 months if my life in that bed before I decided to live. On my opinion the most dangerous thing about them is that they don't have emotions like us. I don't think they can love
It's okay to feel sorry for them, but not put yourself in harm's way. You do have the power and that's what she wants - but save your power for empowering your own good mental health. In a way that is her gift to you.
You hit the nail on the head for me in your closing. I'd also rather be seen as an unfriendly a..hole than have to endure any toxic behaviour (my version). Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
Thank you for speaking about this. Your explanation is excellent. I have had first-hand observation of many narcissistic family members and I can assure you that they are not like the rest of us. They are wired differently. As a society we need to recognize this and take action to more effectively deal with these people.
That feeling of being berated by your narcissistic partner for what seems like forever,and being so well trained that you know if you don’t shed a tear and display remorse, you make him mad, but if you are crying too much, you make him mad because then he feels guilty for making you cry. I got so good at being the perfect amount of “sorry for what I did”. The kids began to learn by watching me 😢 Out and away now, and we have never been more happy in our lives.
My partner of 11 years hit me once 9 years ago. We were drunk so we never drank after that. Fast forward 8 years, and the violence upticked out of nowhere well... not nowhere. I know he has this in him. This darkness. I was so enamored and thought my protector would never turn on me like he did. The last 2 years ive experienced a level of pain i never knew existed. My own personal hell brought on by his married female coworker and relapse. I lost my home, my job ( bc of daily panic attacks), family and my mind. I have never felt loneliness on that level. Pain. Disgust and yes even love. I love this man even now. Even as i pick the pieces of a once fair, tale life that broke me and left scars like anxiety and ptsd. I'm currently in therapy to learn skills to manage the daily stressors that come with this level a trauma. hurting people hurt people so they say. But as bad as I've been hurt I could never do to someone what was done to me. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us you're helping people in more ways than you can know
You’re trauma bonded not in love & need a year of no contact to break that but you can do it! Go gray rock plz then work on self control as you address codependency because that’s the only way you’ll get relief as well as a life 💔❤️🩹♥️
I am physically unable to physically hurt them. I’m terrified that I might hurt someone psychologically and it holds me back. I fawn and apologize bc I don’t want to hurt anyone like he did to me.
I did NLP, neuro linguistic programming to clear emotions and Soul Genesis on a spiritual level. It's better than therapy. If you find that sessions don't work, try something different.
Yes, it did me too and I played that several times. Because Dr Ramani rarely swears , to hear her using a strong swear word you know she's probably talking from personal experience. A very hard hitting video...
Yup mine pulled my thumb and broke thee tendons around it. I need surgery.I also broke my tailbone right before he got me pregnant on purpose to make me stay
They feel "attacked " by almost everything, any innocent remarks, and they have the very"talent " of twisting your words and finding contradictions where there are none..
After my narc left, I discovered a long trail of police reports, some that occurred during our relationship that I didn’t know about. There was a detective assigned to keep an eye on him the entire 9 years we were together from things he did before I met him. When he decided I was done, the way he turned on me was shocking. It was so sudden and I was now public enemy number one to him because I stood in the way of him having his new supply- who was my employee. The last time he spoke to me, his eyes were black.
@@caroleminke6116 I am grateful every day and I hide my location now because I could now be a target of his angst. He will be caught. It’s inevitable. He can’t stop his behaviors
Cool video Ramani , My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
A lot of these traits are found in police departments where there's no accountability where they have endless support and no one ever questions what they are doing. Someone has to be in a position of power to cause misery for another person
Agreed. The local SA officer who was Supposed to be investigating my case - tons of evidence and an ER visit verifying what had happened - LAUGHED at me. He told me he would ask ____ about the incident, but wouldn't arrest him Unless he was 100% sure he would win in court..(.he was retiring very soon) so, no arrest, no conviction and that " officer of the law" made me feel So Much worse. PS. The Ex narc Did get consequences .. very public consequences; it just took two years to make it happen ...
Believe in yourself and don’t believe anything they say. The dangerous ones trigger emotions that make you sad. Try and recognise when your mood drops and what triggered it. The words are false but you must pull yourself out of those emotions as soon as you recognise them. The narcissists strengths is messing with your mind.
@@hollybickford2492 they are purposely hurting you and they have learnt your insecurities. If they’re successful your mind gets sucked into sadness and then you become vulnerable because you’re not focused on the situation. If they are trying to make you look like the bad person in front of others that where you need to be on top of them. This is when things can become dangerous for victims.
I survived once before. Took a long time and it was devastating. Decades later now, I'm right in it again and I'm older. 😢 I am stuck and trying little by little to be totally free. Finances and my health are a priority and I'm concentrating carefully on getting things in order. I do say no and pull back on stuff. But, I know, it will never be anything healthy and safe with these people. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
My narcissistic has been trying to kill me on several occasions. I caught him trying to poison me and when I came off of life Support I was alone with him in my room and he was laughing at me hysterically when I woke up and started thrashing around because I didn't know what was going on. He told me if I didn't stop accusing him of cheating on me which I caught him doing red-handed but I wasn't gonna live long. He also said he couldn't wait until I died on several occasions . I left him and at first he said he would never marry again because I was as one and only but as soon as the ink dried our divorce paper he remarried . I hope he doesn't do anything too new hid new wife have a untimely death at his hands when he tires of her.
@@JONNIE-u5u wow. Just wow. How twisted does someone have to be ??!! That's insane. I'm glad you survived. You shouldn't have had to go through that. I'm so sorry for you
I read somewhere, that if your violent partner tries to strangle or deprive you of air, it will increase the chances by 7 of being killed by the violent partner, while still in the relation or if the victim has left already.
the last comment about kumbaya - SPOT ON! :D :D I really wholeheartedly admire you Dr Ramani and thank you for all the effor you put into your content!
This video dr Ramini really hits the nail on the head! So spot on. Be acts the victim & even acts out with a scared expression & pouts like a baby. Then without the audience d he verbally attacks , foul obscene name calling & then he escalated to violence hitting & hoody h arms so I can’t defend myself. Then because I bruise badly from blood thinners he uses that as an excuse …it wasn’t him my arms R always like that.
IMO one of your best videos yet, Dr Ramani (saying a lot considering your prolific production)! Truly life saving. My covert narc family has wreaked particular havoc on my well-being this last year, and recent months. And yet I still find myself feeling pangs of doubt and guilt amidst the despair from their unending manipulation, entitlement, and dishonesty. i am among those who have suffered physical violence (as a grown adult no less - mother and sister, separately and together). My mom went about immediately playing the victim, even calling her then-therapist spinning the incident against me and later showing her bruised arm (pale and prone to bruising likely from her alcoholism) to a friend of hers. That was a decade ago and I’ve tried to put it past me but the underlying controlling dynamics remain, though less overtly aggressive with my mom, my sister is still volatile. The worst part is due to my desire not to trigger their insecurities I am an under-earner and too anxiety ridden to fathom advancing in my career. It’s like the life has been sucked out of me and all I feel is fear.
I totally get that. Feeling too much anxiety to try to apply oneself to advance in the workforce because of being told repeatedly that we are too stupid, weak, or crazy-even impaired psychologically as well as emotionally and mentally.
Thank you, Doctor Ramani. Explaining there dangerous signs is helpful to understand "strategies" of a narcissistic person. I can see more clearly now what this dangerous "game" with a narcissist used to be like. Before I was too confused to see it. Very useful advice, indeed. Good tools.👍🏼
I feel blessed that I was at an age that replacing my narcissistic husband after he died wasn't an option by choice and I don't need another husband. It has been a blessed 12 years since he died and I couldn't be more content. A dog is enough companionship. For me....
THIS video and the information in it, is exactly what sets Dr. Ramani apart from others in the field of narcissistic study and treatment. As close to perfect in the way she lays out the unbelievable words and actions of a vindictive narcissist and the lengths they will go to for revenge.
This hit home so much, as do all your videos. My ex was narcissistic in every way. It went to physical violence. I still went back, and would run away, and than run back to them. It was years ago but I'm slowly healing. It was draining mentally, emotionally, physically. Had to move away from my home to stop the cycle. Thank you for all you do ❤❤❤
What Terrifies me = Delusions. (pretending as if nothing happened and they didn't fly into a rage at all). I can put up with someone shitty who apologizes even (if they learn, grow and change)- but to pretend as if something didn't happen strikes horror into my heart! It's gaslighting essentially, not only during the argument but also the next day; Even worse: flipping their recall and outlining everything they did perfectly- but of course it was YOU who did these things (projection). So many bells and whistles, alarms, and red flags go off in my mind when this happens in ANY relationship, friendship, partnership, or family member. The ability to override history and delusionally write their own version of things is next level for me. It means we have now entered the waters of potential sociopathic or psychopathic patterns of thinking, and out of all the awful traits a narcissistic person has, this one is my most terrifying. It means -time to leave- as quickly as resources will allow. We're all human, we make choices and act out in different ways, but to deny the actions all together is just insane & intolerable to me. Even by the definition we're all familiar with of insanity....(Is it Einsteins??) doing the same thing & expecting different results. At least you still know what you're doing & choosing to some degree, there's even a little awareness in addictions (something you can't stop doing even when you want to stop doing it), but doing the same thing repeatedly still sounds better than denying it ever happened. 😂❤ Thank you so much Dr. Ramani. Your videos and books are always so poignant , empowering, and healing.🎉
Thank you so much for adressing this issue, I'm currently finacially dependent on my elderly narcissitic mother and even though she's 83 years old she still has the energy to be verbally violent with me. It's hell , it made me both mentally and phissically ill, I pray to God for the money I need to run away from her. stay strong everybody
The best life-choice I made was to stop any communication with my mother. I lost 2 brothers, 23 cousins, many aunts, uncles because of her lies. She died during the Covid episode 3 years ago. The world felt lighter, better, peaceful.
@DoctorRamani I love what you do, I'm a therapist and I signpost people to you to help educate them. F***ING kumbayah circles had me spitting out my coffee but if I could sum up in one sentence what people need to do... that would be it! Thanks for sharing your knowledge
My daughter is Blind and unfortunately married a narcissist! It didn’t take me long that something was not right with this POS! Now she has two children and starting divorce proceedings 🙏 He really is dangerous!
Well said Dr, I went through years of family narssasism and was not belived by most till the true colors started to show I have been watching your videos for about 4 years now and you are brilliant in the area of study and so much more.
You might not know what or why but they will plot against you and manipulate situations to punish you. It's an awful situation to be in. Thanks for the understanding!❤
Great and insightful video! Thank you for sharing important knowledge about the dangers of narcissists. I hope those who are suffering from these toxic relationships will find the strength and way out. You deserve peace and happiness!
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
My narcissist is now doing all these, acts like victim, acts like scared of me all the while yelling at me, blaming me for things I didnt do and spreading rumors about me
I am an empath from a narcissistic family. Abuse and oppression is part of our family structure. I'm no contact but my life is absolutely impacted by the darkness and danger of narcissism. I believe my death will be due to the violence that is very covert and no one will be the wiser. Yes, the hyper vigilance, always having to expect the unexpected. The narcs are so skilled in convincing others that I am the aggressor, that im the delusional one . I only have myself to protect me and the malignant narcissist absolutely gets away with their crimes.
I would like to respectfully disagree with the statement that many of us won’t experience physical violence or aggression from a narcissistic person. If we live with them, chances are pretty high. In my state, one in three women experience domestic violence in their lifetimes. (And before somebody jumps in to tell me that men experience domestic violence, too - I’m aware, but I don’t have the statistics for men. On the other hand, I AM one of the one in three.) Physical aggression isn’t just hitting. It includes threatening to harm, or harming, children and pets in order to control you. Blocking your way out of a room. Pushing or pulling you to restrict your movement. Throwing and breaking things to scare you. Threatening self harm as a control tactic. Threatening you with a weapon. Punching things around you. Intentionally interrupting sleep. Intentionally keeping you from handling bodily needs (such as blocking your way to the toilet or not allowing you to eat until they’re done yelling at you). One of the things that makes it hard for victims of domestic violence to get help is the persistent belief that if there are no vibrant bruises or broken bones, then physical abuse isn’t happening.
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist, wow you hit the nail on the head there. In fact I feel somewhat inspired, I might make a video on this very phenomenon on my channel. Now violence and aggression? I thought it was pretty obvious being in a narcissistic relationship but wow yeah you said it right there.
@@genevalawrence801 if there are no bruises why bother! I’ve been in this situation! My whole body was black and blue but it didn’t show. What a god awful lost feeling this is.
My first experience was a malignant narcissist. I was around 5. Years later I found videos like yours Sister Dr Ramani and book 🙂 it helps so much as I now know what I'm up against and why I'm so attracted to them. Yuck! No more!! 🇬🇧❤
If my narcissistic mother's verbal abuse had left physical marks, she would have be jailed by the time I was 10. Yet, she regards herself as highly moral. She actually thinks she is 'nice'.
Of course! They think that they are the nicest people. "Look what I did for you" is their mantra! I keep asking myself what people on the outside expected me to tolerate? How much abuse was I supposed to receive before he was seen as the abuser? Nope, it was all me, as Dr. Ramani says. If I was just nicer. If I was more grateful. If I did more for them. I walked out in October and have never looked back!
Dr. Ramani, thank you for sharing your invaluable work and insights with us. I imagine the immense positive impact you have had on the many people who listens to, read your books, or hear you speak. No doubt you've saved a few lives through your work and significantly improved the quality of many more.
My late husband's death two years ago was largely caused by the actions of a narcissist whom he considered a good friend. His long illness and death were brutal for us both! The narc's final actions made it clear what he'd been doing - to torture him physically (addictive substances) and emotionally. 'Motives were jealousy/resentment/anger. This man is active in his church - even preaching sometimes! It would be too stressful/dangerous for me to seek justice! When I was twelve another girl did two things that could have caused me severe harm or death. She pushed me into a quarry when I couldn't swim (learned fast!!) and another time she held a pillow over my face for quite awhile (she was much taller and heavier than me). She was jealous/paranoid and had told me a 'dark' secret that she may have been afraid I'd tell others. It's only been recently (knowing about narcissism) that I realize what was going on - could not have imagined her motives then! 'Thought she was a friend!
I say this with so much love and respect : i wish i could give you the biggest hug, for so many reasons that i can't even express! thank you for all that you do. So many emotions are coming up yet im grateful for all of them :'-) i hope you are loved and cared for in the ways that you want and need. sending you my gratitude from afar!!!
For 15 years of our marriage, there was plenty of psychological abuse, but never physical. I saw evil in my husband’s eyes during his many rages, but he never struck me. After I found out about his long standing affair and confronted him, he tried to choke me, attacked me in the bed many times and chased me attempting to hurt me. He also pulled guns on me and tortured me on three occasions by putting a gun in his mouth and against his head saying he was going to kill himself. I pleaded and cried begging him not to do so . This went on for over 30 minutes and was only interrupted by my children coming home, or coming in our room. Our divorce was protracted, expensive and horrendous. All of this took its toll emotionally on me and my boys! After 18 years, my PTSD has finally resolved to some extent, because I did the work and God accomplished a miracle in me. Thank you, Dr Romani, for educating me about this, because until 3 years ago, when I first heard your podcast, I could not explain why I was punished for his unspeakable behavior!
This is absolutely the very best video I have ever seen on narcissism and narcissistic abuse. Actually it's the best video I've ever seen this awesome Dr. do! Brutally honest. No cutting up. No kidding around. Wow, thank you!
I don't know how to thank you enough Dr Ramani. You release me more and more from the power toxic people have had over me since I was a child. Thank you and God bless you and your team🙏
Once again you have hit the nail on the head. I knew I was safe when they died. I was never safe before they passed. The danger is never public, publicly they are wonderful people with excellent reputations. They are always the victim and they have enough power to get away with anything. Privately they are very dangerous. They engage in charitable activity to make themselves look good but they really don’t care about others. I am so glad you are publishing this information. You are validating what many of us have tried to say for years.
I swear to God when this woman wants to make a point boy she makes that point and you sit up straight and you pay attention. You can't help but do it. And when she throws one of those f words out there she is literally making your brain go. I'm listening making your brain say I'm listening. I'm paying attention I promise. I don't know what or where I would be had. I not found this wonderful caring doctor to explain to me what 15 years of this feels like and what it truly is. Thank you for every time you have been asleep and I woke up thinking a thought that could actually help us. And thank you for being brave enough to do it. And to anybody that's harmed you or made you scared. Dante's hell has a very special place for them!
I am absolutely so incredibly grateful for this particular video. I have no idea what I would do without this wonderful doctor explaining to me about why. How? When and everything in between when dealing with a personality disorder such as narcissism. On this beautiful woman gets this. Down and serious about something she really feels needs to be taken seriously you know it. It's been almost a year for me and I am trying desperately to learn how to organize and clean my home again to learn how to drive somewhere to learn how to make money. I'm a retired teacher but when you had money and money issues controlled by someone else still it's very difficult + the times you have to pretend it. Just so that you know the money will still keep coming in. It is absolutely maddening but I'm learning! I'm watching! Oh my God, I believe I am healing somewhat. It just takes so long damn time.
Dr, Ramini is correct- forget being nice. I believe in one and done. Once you show the narcissist in you, i am not giving a second chance. I also, share with others so they are not fooled by your lies and/or charm.
First time I ever heard someone validate a text, or phone call on an unknown number, showing up outside of my home unexpectedly or facebook rants veiled so as not to be directed at me ever mentioned. Thank you because it made me feel not crazy. These things really happen and others judge us as if we are crazy. Thank you
Thank you so much for this clear reading. During listening I became aware that to survive as a child it was a neccisity to walk on eggshells, and being vigilant all the time when near those people. And how skilled, I became to forcome escalating and violant behaviour. The danger I always felt but nobody seemed to see nor talk about the violence. And nobody protecting me or standing in front of me in violant situations. I realy had to learn not to feel sorry for the person assaulting, instead of feeling sorry for myself. And for me its still incredible why close family did not support me after attacks inside or outside the family system.
Thank you for speaking about malignant narcissism/bordering on psychopathy. There are much more of these than the low and mid level narcissism by the time a victim needs to look into “what is going on here”. The worse is when they have developed a vengeance to punish you for crossing them (for multiple reasons). These types never “let it go”, and can plan to mature a vengeance plan sitting silent for _decades_ . The criminal narcissistic psychopath gets away with everything. Even the courts give them a free pass. They’re somehow ALWAYS able to convince some judge, juror, law enforcement officer somewhere.
25 years of suffering 15 of them married and a year so far trying to divorce him it’s been a never ending nightmare! I’ve experienced every level of abuse there is. And now that I’ve left and taken back the control over my life he is trying to destroy me with his slander and lies. But thank God for you Dr. Ramani, your videos helped me understand what I was dealing with, the necessity to get out, how to do it and what to expect once I got out.
I truly appreciate your commitment to educate and help to better understand this disturbing, destructive behavior, actions that destroy lives, relationships. God Bless you 🙏❤️ ⭐ 💯 Excellent explanations!
I so much want yo share what is happening. I was healing and dared to share a bit. The narcissist is escalating. I can see the patterns. My health put me in the ER. I've been doubted and my hypervigilance is interpreted as suspicious paranoia or me being narcissistic. The narc has blocked my access to supports. A lot of what you said in the video has happening. It is really hard to know what to do as the narc is a professional. It is risky even writing this, but I decided to. Thanks for this and what you do.
@caroleminke6116 This isn't a relationship in the home. It's in the medical system, a doctor. I am no contact, and find the enablers and flying monkies wherever I seek care. The electronic medical records make it easy for the narc to keep track. Enablers are friends as the medical providers are close knit. Moving is not an option now. Yet, I am sure they could keep track. Gosh, I know this sounds like I am paranoid. I am really very aware of seeing things and behavior. I was also in the medical field, so I know how things work. I've observed over 6 years and didn't make a judgment about the person until a year ago. I began telling my medical doctors as my health was affected. That is when I noticed escalation bt the narc.
Many narcissists can be charming, charismatic and attractive. Which is very dangerous. Because really, they’re self-absorbed, lacking empathy and exploitative. They’re wolves in sheep’s clothing. They’re the opposite of what they present themselves to be. But by the time you figure this out, you’re already emotionally invested into the illusion of their false character. You believe they’re something more ideal, rather than who they actually are, which is something you do NOT want, need or desire.
I married one of them.
This is so true. I think the root cause is that they can’t handle, no one ever impressed upon them, the least little disappointment there is that needs to be accepted. If they are not glorified, they will make you beg. If they are not heard, they will rage. If you get sick and can’t do something, they will rage. Then their rage turns to throwing things at you and sabotage. People don’t know what sabotage is. Sabotage is a horrible act where they can come into your workplace and make you get fired. It is when they take your things like your car and sell it. It is when they take your clothing and give it away or throw it away.
It's the insanity of the narcs manipulations
As my mom use to say, " paranoia will destroy yah" myself I'm disappointed in how others attack personal morals and views .I don't see the narcs manipulations untill it was too late .....I had to go grey rock.
I wish the narc came with a warning label.....like those on a mattress.
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, separate your financial life from them. Their irresponsibility and self-centeredness is disastrous.
They're passive aggressive. They can get uncontrollably dangerous during raging anger stage.
@@sushmayen yes, and then they usually pretend like nothing happened or it wasn't that bad and you just imagine things and you're the problem.
That describes my mother in law. Woman is dangerous and we refuse to visit alone. The last time we visited, my mother in law smashed her sewing machine on my wive's achilles tendon. My wife can barely walk due to a neurological disorder. She got worse after her stroke. Full on rage.
Yes.
Yes. I experienced this a couple of times and it was terrifying.
My life was forever changed in September 2019 when my narcissist boyfriend bashed my face into the kitchen counter, leaving me with two seizures, a left broken eye socket, permanent facial disfigurement, and brain damage. "Why Does He Do That?" was the book that made me realize it wasn't my fault and all of this led me down the path to narcissism research and this channel. Just because they haven't gotten violent yet doesn't mean they never will.
I'm so sorry you had go all through that.
@@Jungleboy-z4cSo true. Narcissistic women will chase a moving car especially if they think there is money in it. My oldest sister is that type of narcissist. She is horrific to all of us and then pretends she never did anything...
Please tell your story over and over so it reaches people. ❤
❤️ … Very true. I think it’s a potential inside all of them.
@@NO-ib1ip I do too
I have been married to a narcissist for 38 years. It took me decades to figure out what was going on, he has gotten worse over the years. I stayed until the kids were grown and left home as I feared he would take them away from me. After a lifetime of narcissistic abuse, I became severely chronically ill and mostly bedbound now. So it is too late now.
I’m mostly writing this as a warning for younger people in narcissistic relationships as a warning. Get out while you still have your health.
Sorry Dr. Ramani if this is the wrong video to be writing this on ❤
So sad for this! My mother did 30 years & then cancer took her @ 69 but I never married or had kids so didn’t perpetuate the family dysfunction yet I still struggle with depression now I am 66 💔❤️🩹♥️
My ex and I were only together in the marriage living together for 2 years. He used to try to get me to have a child like he wanted us to have a child together. And I was nervous about that so we never did have a child together. Looking back Now I'm I'm 100% or nearly 100% sure he would have sued for full custody he probably would have taken the child away from me and that would have been so hard on me. So I can understand your staying with him until the children were grown because of the fear that he would take them away from you.
I left 27 years into it, when my body shut down after 20+ years of mystery illnesses, auto-immune disorders and chronic issues. Removing stress from my life in all shapes and forms helped immensely. The body does keep the score. ❤
@@PCAGA2298 If we knew what narcissism meant would any of us be in the situation we are in? It also took me years and TH-cam videos to learn that I was right, he was not normal and I am not crazy like he has told me for years that I was. There is more to the story, like being isolated from everyone. We don’t do anything fun outside of our home anymore because he has no friends. He goes to work while he don’t want me to have a job.. No friends, no family or social interaction. I don’t even have a social media account. It’s an awful way to live, he don’t seem to mind it. The older the narcissist gets the worse they are. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
@PCAGA2298 hi there. You are absolutely correct. You have to get away from them, even if you have to wait for years. I'm so sorry you had to endure his abuse for so long, and I am very disappointed to know that because of him you became unwell. I wish you the very best and I hope you will find something that will help with your ill health. 💐🌺🌹
My ex husband said " I don't need therapy ". I ended up in therapy alone and was the best decision ever. Freed me from a broken marriage......
Me too 😊
Same here ❤
Me too. And 20 years after the divorce he died alone of ALS, is this poetic justice?
Knowing that the law will not be on your side is really dangerous. Someone is extracting your life force from deep within and harming you in every way possible, but it's just a "toxic relationship", a "family matter" or a "tough workplace environment" in the eyes of the law.
Learned that the hard way
Ditto
Was told, “he left no signs or injuries so your case is not credible.”
agree
awareness and research to know how to defend and battle and even more when you cant get away
THIS!! 🙌🏼
Money is more protected than people’s life and soul.
They’re all talk about “leaving before getting hurt”, but yet when you do, no one’s interested in hearing about it, and that is IF they listen and believe you when you understand it’s time to leave before they physically assault you, and even then sometimes…
CPS is being used against me rn, for “denigrating” the dad to the kids, for telling them that ‘it wasn’t their fault’ and ‘they’re right to feel how they did, his behaviour was unacceptable’ when he exploded on them in rage and threatened them to unalive me, in response to them (M15-13att) very maturely asking him to talk about living more with me, for whatever reason/s they had that I don’t even know about.
It’s fvcking insanity.
We need more psychologists that truly understand narcissistic abuse. It's way more common than they think because they get lied to by the narcissistic abusers and it's so much for victims to explain.
Exactly
Narcissists get treated for addiction or depression, but rarely stay in therapy for the long term because they don't believe that there is anything wrong. The rest of the world is the problem, not them. And they get far worse with age. Get away from these people as quick as possible. They are not self aware and put up a false front. The person you think you love does not exist.
“This is real, even if other people tell you it’s not.” This was so needed for me today, Dr Ramani. Thank you.
We need a narcissist registry.If there ever can be such a thing if somebody's been diagnosed and they have harmed someone just like we have a sex offender registry.
Social media can serve as good marker for that. The platform(s) are flooded with them. You see the grandiosity, self-absorption, inflated egoism, etc... everyday.
Right?
Very good idea.
@@detroitvcw and here I was gaslighting myself into thinking maybe I’m just too judgmental about thinking that majority of people on social media are narcissistic 😮💨
I have been advocating for a narcissist registry for many years so I'm super aligned! Maybe people will be more open to it now, previously most people have told me it's not possible. If you want to work together to try to start one I'm game 😊.
Brilliant. These people ARE dangerous, and it's one of the hardest things for most of us to see and be aware of. The fear and disbelief can make us rationalize, and rationalize, and rationalize.
Don't forget SADISTIC!!
They can also do harm through neglect. Once my mom couldn't catch her breath, my toxic father said it was a panic attack "because I had one too" and left
Use your discernment and follow your gut. The malignant and covert narcissists, will always come back and haunt you if you injured their egos by calling them out and leaving their control.
I have had this happen even 10 yrs later. They have no sense of time. They do not forget.
I will be watching my back for the rest of my life.
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here.
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 8 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online.
This message that you responded to uo there was unfortunately spam. I would like to say something to you. Your relationship with the person you describe seems like a one sided relationship. They didn't care about you as much u did about them. Naivety, innocence, purity or pure delusion & projection from your side could have prolonged the relationship but it never was what it is supposed to be. Love is supposed to be good for both but what you are describing seems like you were making all the effort.
Since I learned what was happening it's like trying to perform my own autopsy....going back decades putting the pieces together of how I ceased to exist
The autopsy metaphor is painfully accurate - digging through decades of your own psychological death scene is brutal. Though I'd say you're less of a corpse and more of a very tired surgeon who keeps finding new layers of old damage. Still dark, still painful, but at least you're the one holding the scalpel now. Reconstruction is hell, but it beats being on someone else's slab.
I’m doing similar work now work now, the patterns were always there and now I’m like”Whoa!” But I had baby twin daughters with her, she knew I was dedicated to the family, and she also knew I would put up with a LOT, best wishes and prayers for your recovery, please remember you are NOT alone anymore….
@@BrittneyHillsbery thank you for your thoughtful reply, it's nice to get a comment from someone who gets it. And continues the theme!
@@hawkspirals3483 thank you for the kind words
@Jennx7080 Fellow forensic investigator of the self - glad the metaphor resonates. Sometimes, dark humor and medical analogies are the best tools we've got in this weird work. Keep wielding that scalpel with precision.
It's the lack of self awareness! They will condemn you for doing the exact same thing they are doing/saying about you. Growing up in a narcissistic family has destroyed me although I escaped 40 years ago!
Growing up w/ narc abuse leaves lasting marks. Healing takes a minute, possibly years. Escaping is e first step.
They’re destroying you from the first date & you cannot get away fast enough!
In the UK we have 'Clare's Law',
look it up.
Even worse when parent is one of the violent rager. Nowhere to hide/escape to in order to be safe.
Terrifying at times!
One thing our society must do for its overall health is to take animal cruelty seriously; It is an earmark of the dangerous people among us. They should be on law enforcement’s radar.
My mother taught me something discerning that her father told her- “A person who is cruel to children or animals isn’t worth a damn”
Yes but from what I’ve heard, and in my experience, it’s not much of a marker of narcissism. A lot of narcs love dogs because they feed into their egos.
I think it applies more to psycho and sociopathic people. Often they engage in animal cruelty from a young age.
14:49 “they CAN understand your pain, but the low empathy means that THEY JUST DON’T CARE.”
Dr. Ramani speaks truth to power not just on the interpersonal level, but to our whole culture, legal system, law enforcement and social systems... and how it condones and enables the abuse and danger to proliferate. She is so articulate. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
LOVED the "F" bomb! You're SO EFFING RIGHT!
When she said it I felt heard as well. Finally someone is saying what we all are feeling, yeah
I saw the reality when I found out he was cheating and tried to leave. We were held hostage and I was not allowed to sleep that night. He dragged me thru the house in front of my kids. He kept me isolated until I said I would stay. It was a terrible experience 😢i got out that morning when he allowed me to take the kids to school. 😢😢. He still blames me years later . Before I went no contact he said that I didn't have the details correct. Apparently he didn't drag me by my hair. He dragged me by my arms . So I am a liar. This was so disturbing to see what a monster he is.
That is horrific your children having to see that you having to endure that. I'm so sorry😢
Sounds like my x - I’m so sorry u had to endure this garbage ❤
I wish I didn’t know what you’re speaking about, but I do. I haven’t felt safe for over a decade and I know that what’s happening isn’t going to end well. You can’t stop those who are hell bent to cause so much harm against someone who feels you’re the reason for their hate and anger. Family members are the worst because they will protect each other in order to hide their bad behavior against us, so it can seem like a no win situation and it usually is. I’m so exhausted not with why, but when.
Physical distance helps! I moved far away & have no contact with the dysfunctional family
Get a plan and leave. Save yourself. 🙏🏼.
It’s not easy. They usually already know your plan or know you well enough to guess. I sometimes wish we had a stand your ground law against stalkers. I wish you the best. I would say go to a place where people know you. They will see things that are out of order
Absolutely! I have been the brunt end of my mother’s narcissism and my sisters borderline/narcissistic behavior for a long while now. I had to go no-contact with my sister and she has been hell’s-bent on destroying me. She tried to break into many of my accounts, has stolen records from my files, including doctors records. She secretly put herself in a shared file on my phone and extracted a lot of personal information. She got on my elderly mothers iPad and got her Apple ID so she can get into my mother’s text messages and act like her and message me as if she’s my mother. As well as control what my mother sees from me (text wise). She is no doubt, trying to groom my mother to remove me from her Will. We are talking evil people! and sadly, some people that you go no contact with, and makes them more driven to find a way to destroy you!
Thank you for addressing this, Dr Ramini. It validates my gut feeling that my situation could tip over into something very dangerous.
Leave!!!
Listen to your gut and leave asap.
I FUCKING love you. Thank you for validating those of us that society seems to think are the problem even while watching us get abused.
Exactly 💯
Even my own family walks around with a scowl on their faces when I see them since my ex smear campaigned me to them before I left. Thank you, Dr. Ramani!! ❤️ This video just lifted me up some more to continue on my healing journey. I have had to walk away from so many people and start over, but I can't rely on toxic people to support me through my healing. Stay strong 💪🏻 ✨️ fellow survivors!!
I like that your tone has gotten darker in the last few videos since this is a life-altering devastating situation we are in. There's no fun in it.
I believe all abusers are narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths
You're right! We have to stop being toooooo nice. This is a horrible world & only the strong will survive!!!
My neighbor showed me the real person they are. they didnt get thier way and raged at me. years later they are still very bitter, passive aggressive, the smear campaign, the flying monkeys stalking. The police can not help. I have learned that i must watch and learn what they are doing. I stay aware and take care of myself. // I have learned so much from DrR.
Sending peace and hugs I have a inside view of what you are saying its a awful feeling having neighbors like this its been going on afew years not I am looking into moving, I have depression so it's taking a long time hopefully will do it in the new year very best wishes to you. 😊
Unfortunately the whole next door neighbour setup is a veritable playground for a narcissist looking for somebody to dominate, I would suggest not only watching, but actually recording (audio) of their utterances. You’d be surprised at what they come out with when you’re inside your house and they think you can’t hear them. The information they have on you, how they’re getting it, etc., can thusly be ascertained. If you know how they are getting information, you then have the means to misdirect them with false information. And, depending on your means, you may have enough evidence to convict them of what is, let’s face it, criminal behaviour. None of this is easy and I’m not going to pretend it is. And sometimes the best thing to do, is to do nothing.
I’ll just add … as long you don’t publish your audio recordings of them or share them online etc., you are on safe ground recording audio from the confines of your own property. The law does not consider this invasion of privacy in the way that pointing a video camera at their property would be. Publishing the audio recordings would be illegal, if it compromises your neighbours reputation etc. There s no reason why such recordings could not be used to inform the police, or be used as evidence in court.
@@anitaallen3163
Had a reasonably good GP once....
Circumstantial Depression is normal if you have been abused. No one thrives in that.
@@emotown1
Why are you interested in what your neighbours do ?
I didn't think a 70 yr old mother could be so vindective & hateful. She tried to kill my cat, and then her pathological victimhood & paranoia was out of control. I wish I didn't know what it was like to be on the other side of Narcissist's vindective behaviors. She is gone, and I still don't feel safe.😢
I felt safer a few months after my father died - but I was still afraid for awhile! I have asked Spirit to ensure that that despicable person is NEVER in my presence again - not in the afterlife and not in another life - NEVER AGAIN.
What the hell i with them and killing cats? Mine killed my sons and made it look like an accident caused by my son - Pure Evil
💜💜💜
@@JS-il9nw 🫨I never would have made the connection, but your post caused me to recall, about 15 years ago, meeting a young gal with 4 small children, she was in a terrified state. Her husband was an abuser, and she was freaking out because he cut off the paws of their cat 😱😱 This stuff is absolutely DEmonic.
I understand. My mother is nearly 79, tried to kill my father and is now vindictive against me. Incredible.
My mother is a malignant narcissist. When I was having therapy as I desperately wanted to be free of that toxic relationship. My councillor warned ne of violence because I was moving on. I thought that ridiculous. Mum would never be violence. Then covid hit and I was in lockdown with mum and dad her enabler and mum turned violent with me. I was shocked. I dud the hardest thing and gad mum moved to a carehome last year. I go now and she us quiet and pleasant mostly and I feel drawn to her and then I remember. I no longer visit. I cannot trust myself. I still love my mother how crazy is that BUT she almost destroyed me. I was so depressed that I went to bed couldn't care if I lived ir died. I loosed 2 months if my life in that bed before I decided to live. On my opinion the most dangerous thing about them is that they don't have emotions like us. I don't think they can love
No because as kids they never had love...... simple....
Mothers and Fathers who deliberately fuck up their kids
It's okay to feel sorry for them, but not put yourself in harm's way. You do have the power and that's what she wants - but save your power for empowering your own good mental health. In a way that is her gift to you.
Relatable, though mine is covert. I’m so sorry
You hit the nail on the head for me in your closing. I'd also rather be seen as an unfriendly a..hole than have to endure any toxic behaviour (my version). Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
@@oferzeira Don’t believe him, using witchcraft to get someone back… you’ll pay a heavy price later.
Love You Dr. Ramani !! No forgiveness doesn't mean it festers inside us. We can move forward and never forget. F the Kumbaya mentality. GOSO!!
Thank you for speaking about this. Your explanation is excellent. I have had first-hand observation of many narcissistic family members and I can assure you that they are not like the rest of us. They are wired differently. As a society we need to recognize this and take action to more effectively deal with these people.
That feeling of being berated by your narcissistic partner for what seems like forever,and being so well trained that you know if you don’t shed a tear and display remorse, you make him mad, but if you are crying too much, you make him mad because then he feels guilty for making you cry.
I got so good at being the perfect amount of “sorry for what I did”. The kids began to learn by watching me 😢
Out and away now, and we have never been more happy in our lives.
Whoa🫢..Dr. Ramini's closing statements truly are INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGES 👏 to the fainted hearts of the individuals NARC. manipulators😂😅..
My partner of 11 years hit me once 9 years ago. We were drunk so we never drank after that. Fast forward 8 years, and the violence upticked out of nowhere well... not nowhere. I know he has this in him. This darkness. I was so enamored and thought my protector would never turn on me like he did. The last 2 years ive experienced a level of pain i never knew existed. My own personal hell brought on by his married female coworker and relapse.
I lost my home, my job ( bc of daily panic attacks), family and my mind. I have never felt loneliness on that level. Pain. Disgust and yes even love. I love this man even now. Even as i pick the pieces of a once fair, tale life that broke me and left scars like anxiety and ptsd.
I'm currently in therapy to learn skills to manage the daily stressors that come with this level a trauma.
hurting people hurt people so they say. But as bad as I've been hurt I could never do to someone what was done to me.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us you're helping people in more ways than you can know
You’re trauma bonded not in love & need a year of no contact to break that but you can do it! Go gray rock plz then work on self control as you address codependency because that’s the only way you’ll get relief as well as a life 💔❤️🩹♥️
@caroleminke6116 Thank you for taking time to respond and the kind words of encouragement.
.
@@caroleminke6116yes very important point, we should all be mindful of that distinction!
I am physically unable to physically hurt them. I’m terrified that I might hurt someone psychologically and it holds me back. I fawn and apologize bc I don’t want to hurt anyone like he did to me.
I did NLP, neuro linguistic programming to clear emotions and Soul Genesis on a spiritual level. It's better than therapy. If you find that sessions don't work, try something different.
26:22 That Kumbaya-part hit me hard. You're such a boss (in a genuine way)!
Yes, it did me too and I played that several times.
Because Dr Ramani rarely swears , to hear her using a strong swear word you know she's probably talking from personal experience.
A very hard hitting video...
As someone who was violently assaulted by my diagnosed sociopath husband and a diagnosed psychopath sister, I can verify they are deadly.
My spouse broke my fingers. People really think he is kind as he is charming!
Yup mine pulled my thumb and broke thee tendons around it. I need surgery.I also broke my tailbone right before he got me pregnant on purpose to make me stay
They feel "attacked " by almost everything, any innocent remarks, and they have the very"talent " of twisting your words and finding contradictions where there are none..
After my narc left, I discovered a long trail of police reports, some that occurred during our relationship that I didn’t know about. There was a detective assigned to keep an eye on him the entire 9 years we were together from things he did before I met him. When he decided I was done, the way he turned on me was shocking. It was so sudden and I was now public enemy number one to him because I stood in the way of him having his new supply- who was my employee. The last time he spoke to me, his eyes were black.
You’re incredibly lucky he left you!
@@caroleminke6116 I am grateful every day and I hide my location now because I could now be a target of his angst. He will be caught. It’s inevitable. He can’t stop his behaviors
Lucky it was his eyes that were blackened & not yours
I have to listen to your closing statement every day to remind me to stop repeating the mistake.
Cool video Ramani , My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him or her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
If she left, and you really care for her well being, you should let her go x
26:26 “And please pay attention ‘cos this is real..” Thanks for keepin' it real and being 💯 the whole time, from beginning to end.
A lot of these traits are found in police departments where there's no accountability where they have endless support and no one ever questions what they are doing. Someone has to be in a position of power to cause misery for another person
Agreed. The local SA officer who was Supposed to be investigating my case - tons of evidence and an ER visit verifying what had happened - LAUGHED at me. He told me he would ask ____ about the incident, but wouldn't arrest him Unless he was 100% sure he would win in court..(.he was retiring very soon) so, no arrest, no conviction and that " officer of the law" made me feel So Much worse.
PS. The Ex narc Did get consequences .. very public consequences; it just took two years to make it happen ...
Factor in drugs and alcohol...they are dangerous
Believe in yourself and don’t believe anything they say. The dangerous ones trigger emotions that make you sad. Try and recognise when your mood drops and what triggered it. The words are false but you must pull yourself out of those emotions as soon as you recognise them. The narcissists strengths is messing with your mind.
Can you explain more about that: the dangerous ones trigger emotions that make you sad.
@@hollybickford2492 they are purposely hurting you and they have learnt your insecurities. If they’re successful your mind gets sucked into sadness and then you become vulnerable because you’re not focused on the situation. If they are trying to make you look like the bad person in front of others that where you need to be on top of them. This is when things can become dangerous for victims.
I survived once before. Took a long time and it was devastating. Decades later now, I'm right in it again and I'm older. 😢 I am stuck and trying little by little to be totally free. Finances and my health are a priority and I'm concentrating carefully on getting things in order. I do say no and pull back on stuff. But, I know, it will never be anything healthy and safe with these people. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
raw and straight to the point thank you for what you are doing ❤❤ i am a victim and this is so needed
My narcissistic has been trying to kill me on several occasions. I caught him trying to poison me and when I came off of life Support I was alone with him in my room and he was laughing at me hysterically when I woke up and started thrashing around because I didn't know what was going on. He told me if I didn't stop accusing him of cheating on me which I caught him doing red-handed but I wasn't gonna live long. He also said he couldn't wait until I died on several occasions . I left him and at first he said he would never marry again because I was as one and only but as soon as the ink dried our divorce paper he remarried . I hope he doesn't do anything too new hid new wife have a untimely death at his hands when he tires of her.
That's absolutely insane. I hope you are safe and healing. That's so scary
I was poisoned several times.
@@JONNIE-u5u wow. Just wow. How twisted does someone have to be ??!! That's insane. I'm glad you survived. You shouldn't have had to go through that. I'm so sorry for you
I read somewhere, that if your violent partner tries to strangle or deprive you of air, it will increase the chances by 7 of being killed by the violent partner, while still in the relation or if the victim has left already.
the last comment about kumbaya - SPOT ON! :D :D I really wholeheartedly admire you Dr Ramani and thank you for all the effor you put into your content!
This video dr Ramini really hits the nail on the head! So spot on. Be acts the victim & even acts out with a scared expression & pouts like a baby. Then without the audience d he verbally attacks , foul obscene name calling & then he escalated to violence hitting & hoody h arms so I can’t defend myself. Then because I bruise badly from blood thinners he uses that as an excuse …it wasn’t him my arms R always like that.
You need to get a restraining order ASAP & go gray rock as you plan no contact plz
Yes dear get a restraining order at the very least gray rock.
IMO one of your best videos yet, Dr Ramani (saying a lot considering your prolific production)! Truly life saving. My covert narc family has wreaked particular havoc on my well-being this last year, and recent months. And yet I still find myself feeling pangs of doubt and guilt amidst the despair from their unending manipulation, entitlement, and dishonesty. i am among those who have suffered physical violence (as a grown adult no less - mother and sister, separately and together). My mom went about immediately playing the victim, even calling her then-therapist spinning the incident against me and later showing her bruised arm (pale and prone to bruising likely from her alcoholism) to a friend of hers. That was a decade ago and I’ve tried to put it past me but the underlying controlling dynamics remain, though less overtly aggressive with my mom, my sister is still volatile. The worst part is due to my desire not to trigger their insecurities I am an under-earner and too anxiety ridden to fathom advancing in my career. It’s like the life has been sucked out of me and all I feel is fear.
I totally get that. Feeling too much anxiety to try to apply oneself to advance in the workforce because of being told repeatedly that we are too stupid, weak, or crazy-even impaired psychologically as well as emotionally and mentally.
Thank you, Doctor Ramani.
Explaining there dangerous signs is helpful to understand "strategies" of a narcissistic person. I can see more clearly now what this dangerous "game" with a narcissist used to be like. Before I was too confused to see it.
Very useful advice, indeed. Good tools.👍🏼
I feel blessed that I was at an age that replacing my narcissistic husband after he died wasn't an option by choice and I don't need another husband. It has been a blessed 12 years since he died and I couldn't be more content. A dog is enough companionship. For me....
THIS video and the information in it, is exactly what sets Dr. Ramani apart from others in the field of narcissistic study and treatment. As close to perfect in the way she lays out the unbelievable words and actions of a vindictive narcissist and the lengths they will go to for revenge.
This hit home so much, as do all your videos.
My ex was narcissistic in every way. It went to physical violence. I still went back, and would run away, and than run back to them. It was years ago but I'm slowly healing. It was draining mentally, emotionally, physically. Had to move away from my home to stop the cycle. Thank you for all you do ❤❤❤
What Terrifies me = Delusions.
(pretending as if nothing happened and they didn't fly into a rage at all).
I can put up with someone shitty who apologizes even (if they learn, grow and change)- but to pretend as if something didn't happen strikes horror into my heart! It's gaslighting essentially, not only during the argument but also the next day; Even worse: flipping their recall and outlining everything they did perfectly- but of course it was YOU who did these things (projection). So many bells and whistles, alarms, and red flags go off in my mind when this happens in ANY relationship, friendship, partnership, or family member. The ability to override history and delusionally write their own version of things is next level for me. It means we have now entered the waters of potential sociopathic or psychopathic patterns of thinking, and out of all the awful traits a narcissistic person has, this one is my most terrifying. It means -time to leave- as quickly as resources will allow. We're all human, we make choices and act out in different ways, but to deny the actions all together is just insane & intolerable to me. Even by the definition we're all familiar with of insanity....(Is it Einsteins??) doing the same thing & expecting different results. At least you still know what you're doing & choosing to some degree, there's even a little awareness in addictions (something you can't stop doing even when you want to stop doing it), but doing the same thing repeatedly still sounds better than denying it ever happened. 😂❤ Thank you so much Dr. Ramani. Your videos and books are always so poignant , empowering, and healing.🎉
Totally agree . They deny everything…the rage, their actions., etc. They will rewrite everything. ENTITLED
Thank you so much for adressing this issue, I'm currently finacially dependent on my elderly narcissitic mother and even though she's 83 years old she still has the energy to be verbally violent with me. It's hell , it made me both mentally and phissically ill, I pray to God for the money I need to run away from her. stay strong everybody
She’s going to disinherit you & punish you in the will so plz don’t hold out hope of $ from her source
I'm so sorry you're going through this dear
The best life-choice I made was to stop any communication with my mother. I lost 2 brothers, 23 cousins, many aunts, uncles because of her lies. She died during the Covid episode 3 years ago. The world felt lighter, better, peaceful.
@DoctorRamani I love what you do, I'm a therapist and I signpost people to you to help educate them. F***ING kumbayah circles had me spitting out my coffee but if I could sum up in one sentence what people need to do... that would be it! Thanks for sharing your knowledge
My daughter is Blind and unfortunately married a narcissist! It didn’t take me long that something was not right with this POS!
Now she has two children and starting divorce proceedings 🙏
He really is dangerous!
That's so unfortunate, I hope she stays safe!
I'm so thankful to have come across these videos. It just sucks that I didn't discover your videos sooner. I'm thankful nonetheless
From isolated and alone ( Aussie bush ) and Ramani are my medicine . Thankyou
Well said Dr, I went through years of family narssasism and was not belived by most till the true colors started to show I have been watching your videos for about 4 years now and you are brilliant in the area of study and so much more.
You might not know what or why but they will plot against you and manipulate situations to punish you. It's an awful situation to be in.
Thanks for the understanding!❤
Yes for the curse words. Really gets the emphasis and severity of the situation when you’re in it!
Exactly which is why the cops wanted to arrest me, not the narc who abused me.
Great and insightful video! Thank you for sharing important knowledge about the dangers of narcissists. I hope those who are suffering from these toxic relationships will find the strength and way out. You deserve peace and happiness!
These all describe my husband to a T. And, he wonders why the kids and I avoid him like the plague.
Wonder what his mother’s reaction is?!
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
My narcissist is now doing all these, acts like victim, acts like scared of me all the while yelling at me, blaming me for things I didnt do and spreading rumors about me
Never let them know you’re scared of them, NEVER!
I am an empath from a narcissistic family. Abuse and oppression is part of our family structure. I'm no contact but my life is absolutely impacted by the darkness and danger of narcissism. I believe my death will be due to the violence that is very covert and no one will be the wiser.
Yes, the hyper vigilance, always having to expect the unexpected. The narcs are so skilled in convincing others that I am the aggressor, that im the delusional one . I only have myself to protect me and the malignant narcissist absolutely gets away with their crimes.
I hope you Will find your way out befor it's too late. Get help. Don't despair
I’m unfortunately in a similar family situation, I hear you and wish you (and myself lol) well! Good luck
I would like to respectfully disagree with the statement that many of us won’t experience physical violence or aggression from a narcissistic person. If we live with them, chances are pretty high. In my state, one in three women experience domestic violence in their lifetimes. (And before somebody jumps in to tell me that men experience domestic violence, too - I’m aware, but I don’t have the statistics for men. On the other hand, I AM one of the one in three.)
Physical aggression isn’t just hitting. It includes threatening to harm, or harming, children and pets in order to control you. Blocking your way out of a room. Pushing or pulling you to restrict your movement. Throwing and breaking things to scare you. Threatening self harm as a control tactic. Threatening you with a weapon. Punching things around you. Intentionally interrupting sleep. Intentionally keeping you from handling bodily needs (such as blocking your way to the toilet or not allowing you to eat until they’re done yelling at you).
One of the things that makes it hard for victims of domestic violence to get help is the persistent belief that if there are no vibrant bruises or broken bones, then physical abuse isn’t happening.
As a self-aware diagnosed narcissist, wow you hit the nail on the head there. In fact I feel somewhat inspired, I might make a video on this very phenomenon on my channel. Now violence and aggression? I thought it was pretty obvious being in a narcissistic relationship but wow yeah you said it right there.
@genevalawrence
Plan an exit strategy ASAP
Seek help & support in every conceivable way
Bless you ❤
@@maevebutler4641 I'm free now. This was my past, not my present. 🙂I appreciate your care and concern.
@@genevalawrence801 if there are no bruises why bother! I’ve been in this situation! My whole body was black and blue but it didn’t show. What a god awful lost feeling this is.
@ It IS an awful feeling. I hope that you are in a safer situation now. ((HUG))
My first experience was a malignant narcissist. I was around 5. Years later I found videos like yours Sister Dr Ramani and book 🙂 it helps so much as I now know what I'm up against and why I'm so attracted to them. Yuck! No more!! 🇬🇧❤
If my narcissistic mother's verbal abuse had left physical marks, she would have be jailed by the time I was 10.
Yet, she regards herself as highly moral. She actually thinks she is 'nice'.
Of course! They think that they are the nicest people. "Look what I did for you" is their mantra! I keep asking myself what people on the outside expected me to tolerate? How much abuse was I supposed to receive before he was seen as the abuser? Nope, it was all me, as Dr. Ramani says. If I was just nicer. If I was more grateful. If I did more for them. I walked out in October and have never looked back!
When my narc mother talks about hitting me, she laughs. Now, that is sick.
Dr. Ramani, thank you for sharing your invaluable work and insights with us. I imagine the immense positive impact you have had on the many people who listens to, read your books, or hear you speak. No doubt you've saved a few lives through your work and significantly improved the quality of many more.
My late husband's death two years ago was largely caused by the actions of a narcissist whom he considered a good friend. His long illness and death were brutal for us both! The narc's final actions made it clear what he'd been doing - to torture him physically (addictive substances) and emotionally. 'Motives were jealousy/resentment/anger. This man is active in his church - even preaching sometimes! It would be too stressful/dangerous for me to seek justice! When I was twelve another girl did two things that could have caused me severe harm or death. She pushed me into a quarry when I couldn't swim (learned fast!!) and another time she held a pillow over my face for quite awhile (she was much taller and heavier than me). She was jealous/paranoid and had told me a 'dark' secret that she may have been afraid I'd tell others. It's only been recently (knowing about narcissism) that I realize what was going on - could not have imagined her motives then! 'Thought she was a friend!
Thank you Dr Ramani for this powerful and much needed video.
I say this with so much love and respect : i wish i could give you the biggest hug, for so many reasons that i can't even express! thank you for all that you do. So many emotions are coming up yet im grateful for all of them :'-) i hope you are loved and cared for in the ways that you want and need. sending you my gratitude from afar!!!
thank you for saying this. it expresses what I feel too.
For 15 years of our marriage, there was plenty of psychological abuse, but never physical. I saw evil in my husband’s eyes during his many rages, but he never struck me. After I found out about his long standing affair and confronted him, he tried to choke me, attacked me in the bed many times and chased me attempting to hurt me. He also pulled guns on me and tortured me on three occasions by putting a gun in his mouth and against his head saying he was going to kill himself. I pleaded and cried begging him not to do so . This went on for over 30 minutes and was only interrupted by my children coming home, or coming in our room. Our divorce was protracted, expensive and horrendous. All of this took its toll emotionally on me and my boys! After 18 years, my PTSD has finally resolved to some extent, because I did the work and God accomplished a miracle in me. Thank you, Dr Romani, for educating me about this, because until 3 years ago, when I first heard your podcast, I could not explain why I was punished for his unspeakable behavior!
This is absolutely the very best video I have ever seen on narcissism and narcissistic abuse. Actually it's the best video I've ever seen this awesome Dr. do! Brutally honest. No cutting up. No kidding around. Wow, thank you!
I don't know how to thank you enough Dr Ramani. You release me more and more from the power toxic people have had over me since I was a child. Thank you and God bless you and your team🙏
Once again you have hit the nail on the head. I knew I was safe when they died. I was never safe before they passed. The danger is never public, publicly they are wonderful people with excellent reputations. They are always the victim and they have enough power to get away with anything. Privately they are very dangerous. They engage in charitable activity to make themselves look good but they really don’t care about others. I am so glad you are publishing this information. You are validating what many of us have tried to say for years.
I swear to God when this woman wants to make a point boy she makes that point and you sit up straight and you pay attention. You can't help but do it. And when she throws one of those f words out there she is literally making your brain go. I'm listening making your brain say I'm listening. I'm paying attention I promise. I don't know what or where I would be had. I not found this wonderful caring doctor to explain to me what 15 years of this feels like and what it truly is. Thank you for every time you have been asleep and I woke up thinking a thought that could actually help us. And thank you for being brave enough to do it. And to anybody that's harmed you or made you scared. Dante's hell has a very special place for them!
Wow, it's like dr. Ramani was listening to a conversation I had today... What a powerful episode! Thank you for everything you do, dr. Ramani!❤
I am absolutely so incredibly grateful for this particular video. I have no idea what I would do without this wonderful doctor explaining to me about why. How? When and everything in between when dealing with a personality disorder such as narcissism. On this beautiful woman gets this. Down and serious about something she really feels needs to be taken seriously you know it. It's been almost a year for me and I am trying desperately to learn how to organize and clean my home again to learn how to drive somewhere to learn how to make money. I'm a retired teacher but when you had money and money issues controlled by someone else still it's very difficult + the times you have to pretend it. Just so that you know the money will still keep coming in. It is absolutely maddening but I'm learning! I'm watching! Oh my God, I believe I am healing somewhat. It just takes so long damn time.
Dr, Ramini is correct- forget being nice. I believe in one and done. Once you show the narcissist in you, i am not giving a second chance. I also, share with others so they are not fooled by your lies and/or charm.
Fucking kumbaya circles, woo! Love the passion ❤️ That's the feirce attitude we need to combat this insanity.
First time I ever heard someone validate a text, or phone call on an unknown number, showing up outside of my home unexpectedly or facebook rants veiled so as not to be directed at me ever mentioned. Thank you because it made me feel not crazy. These things really happen and others judge us as if we are crazy. Thank you
The part where my partner does shit, then., expects me to forget about it is the hardest to deal with.
Doc, again, thank you soooo much for sharing your gifts 🎁 with us. You are not just impacting so many lives, you're saving them
Thank you so much for this clear reading.
During listening I became aware that to survive as a child it was a neccisity to walk on eggshells, and being vigilant all the time when near those people.
And how skilled, I became to forcome escalating and violant behaviour. The danger I always felt but nobody seemed to see nor talk about the violence.
And nobody protecting me or standing in front of me in violant situations. I realy had to learn not to feel sorry for the person assaulting, instead of feeling sorry for myself. And for me its still incredible why close family did not support me after attacks inside or outside the family system.
Thank you for speaking about malignant narcissism/bordering on psychopathy. There are much more of these than the low and mid level narcissism by the time a victim needs to look into “what is going on here”.
The worse is when they have developed a vengeance to punish you for crossing them (for multiple reasons). These types never “let it go”, and can plan to mature a vengeance plan sitting silent for _decades_ .
The criminal narcissistic psychopath gets away with everything. Even the courts give them a free pass. They’re somehow ALWAYS able to convince some judge, juror, law enforcement officer somewhere.
25 years of suffering 15 of them married and a year so far trying to divorce him it’s been a never ending nightmare! I’ve experienced every level of abuse there is. And now that I’ve left and taken back the control over my life he is trying to destroy me with his slander and lies. But thank God for you Dr. Ramani, your videos helped me understand what I was dealing with, the necessity to get out, how to do it and what to expect once I got out.
YES! Thank you so much... Why isn't this info more prevalent? Thank you so much👍❤
We live in a toxic country with a normal narcissistic culture now
I truly appreciate your commitment to educate and help to better understand this disturbing, destructive behavior, actions that destroy lives, relationships. God Bless you 🙏❤️ ⭐ 💯 Excellent explanations!
We need to sue them and the enablers
I so much want yo share what is happening. I was healing and dared to share a bit. The narcissist is escalating. I can see the patterns. My health put me in the ER. I've been doubted and my hypervigilance is interpreted as suspicious paranoia or me being narcissistic. The narc has blocked my access to supports. A lot of what you said in the video has happening. It is really hard to know what to do as the narc is a professional. It is risky even writing this, but I decided to. Thanks for this and what you do.
Go gray rock plz as you plan an exit strategy 💔❤️🩹♥️
@caroleminke6116 This isn't a relationship in the home. It's in the medical system, a doctor. I am no contact, and find the enablers and flying monkies wherever I seek care. The electronic medical records make it easy for the narc to keep track. Enablers are friends as the medical providers are close knit. Moving is not an option now. Yet, I am sure they could keep track. Gosh, I know this sounds like I am paranoid. I am really very aware of seeing things and behavior. I was also in the medical field, so I know how things work. I've observed over 6 years and didn't make a judgment about the person until a year ago. I began telling my medical doctors as my health was affected. That is when I noticed escalation bt the narc.
@blu
I believe you
Be safe & plan your get - away
@maevebutler4641 Thank you!💜
@@blu-r7h If moving becomes an option, take it. Until then, much love n support from us.