It’s cute that last comment think the parents just haven’t dispersed the chores evenly and will figure it out. Not even a sudden heart condition was enough for OP’s parents to realize or care what they were piling onto them.
And that commenter clearly didn't read the post. OP said he was frustrated that the siblings don't have chores several times. Why does this person think OP hasn't asked for that?
“when all the chores are dispersed evenly, everything will run smoothly!” made me respond out loud “yeah, no shit.” i’m honestly jealous of that commenter for apparently making it this far in life without realizing that some people will intentionally treat you unfairly.
Yea. That commentor was stupid. Clearly they've never been abused, smh. The OP needs to stop talking about moving out, hunker down around their future economic plans and move out as soon as possible.
Considering they now have 6 kids that are "free range" (or I should say 5 kids and a Victorian scullery maid) it appears that "deep thinking" is not a strong point for them. OP could've dropped dead (god forbid) and they would've had to figure out something. The fact that only the oldest is being targeted for this, all while the others can do what they please, is deeply disturbing. If I were OP, I'd continue to be in contact with the doctor and CPS, even if nothing comes of it. It's at least setting up a paper trail. Hopefully OP has some friends he can stay with when the time comes, because as of now the parents' plans are only for OP to continue being a live-in maid for barbarians.
@@julierichardson800 I’d wager he’s probably got more than seven thousand in the bank, but he doesn’t want to spend “his” money paying his taxes, that man child will be homeless within five years for sure, it’s gonna be brutally hard for him to get a job anywhere with no work history for over five years simply because “I don’t wanna work” His best option would be to make a payment plan with the tax office, get a job (which will probably be minimum wage because of his lack of work history and experience) and make consistent payments until it’s paid off, but it’d essentially be like mortgage payments level of tax, so he’d basically have no personal time because he’d need to work A LOT to make those payments, and he’d also have no real income as practically all of it would go to bills His behaviour is something I’d expect of like, an 18 year old, but I’d bet he’s probably mid 30’s at the minimum now, the manchild really needs to mature
@@lorilancaster5917 family have already donated, they can support him through life lets just hope they have no kids or they will go no contact when they find out the parents prefer to support a useless bum
I loved the naive comment that OP's parents should get everyone to help with the chores OP was stuck with. They have refused to do this even after OP ended up in the hospital. OP should wait until the filth becomes horrifying then call his social worker. She could easily take all those kids out of this situation, not just OP.
@@slipton9797 people who use Reddit aren’t known for their reading comprehension, they usually get like halfway through a story before putting in their two cents acting like it’s a dollar
I do find the social worker a bit of an idiot though, sure I understand she cannot just remove op and the other kids but she must have seen enough situations to advice op on how to make things look bad enough so it will happen. telling a kid that already is in the dump 'sorry I cannot do anything, just deal with it' is not gonna help.
Last story wtf were those last comments. Op nailed it. Hes not a parent of the step sis. But he is to his child. He was explaining enpathy and being mindful for the people we care about. Im very impressed with how he handled it.
First story. Sorry do an autopsy on your dad.. sudden heartfailure and a son that didn't paid the taxes because he was waiting for his dad inherritance.. yeah maybe i watch to much crimeseries on tv but that sounds like a murderplot right there..
OP says parents refuse to give siblings chores, so someone says talk to the parents about sharing chores. Apparently they didn't understand that has been tried numerous times. OP needs to find somewhere they can live free from the abuse and neglect.
Exactly. This is a Cinderella situation. Where one is labeled as the servant. Not an ounce of misunderstanding in it all, this was purely intentional. Perhaps even malicious. The parents may be using the OP as a scapegoat.
People know property tax is due and make proper preparations by setting money aside. Jeopardizing the roof over one's head is pure stupidity. OP is right in that the brother should sell the house and get something smaller and more affordable.
I cannot for the love of god stand people out there who have kids but don’t parent them, just leave it in the oldest kid’s hands. Situations like this where kids are heavily parentified become one of the main reasons why many never ever want kids. For fucks sakes, if you have kids, it’s your job to take care of them, otherwise give them to the system if you regret it later and don’t put all that Responsibility on your oldest.
Last story: Mia needs to learn life isn't fair. No nearly adult teen is going to care if they have a relationship with their tween stepsister. Somebody needs to explain to Mia that even if her dad were alive there's no gaurantee he would have a good enough job to give her an allowance. Some people just have wealthier parents, welcome to the real world kid.
@@ironman_546 it created adults that understand life isn't fair, sometimes they will have more than others and sometimes less and she needs to stop being so entitled to someone else's money
I love it, we're seeing a class system grow in real time, and all of the comments are defending it. literally telling Anna to enjoy being one of the one percent 😂
Valid points, and if it wasn't at home, then it'd be school or social media giving her the FOMO signals. But Linda needs to get her daughter into some sort of therapy because she's not addressing the grief and change issues. Money or stuff isn't a panacea for grief in any event. This will boil up at some point anyway. As for Anne having things better-- kinda, but she's had to deal with her parents' divorce as well as the the mom's new relationship and having the burden of stepsis's feelings being Anne's responsibility. I predict Anne's going to go LC with mom's side in the next year.
Story 1. NTA. Sounds like Jason believed when your father died, (so sorry for your loss), he was going to get everything from your dad like he got everything from your mom. That's probably why he didn't work for 5 years. Stand your ground OP. You & your sister deserve to inherit just as much as him. Good luck
And he’s been more diligent in his concerns since his hospital stay. Perhaps the parents will get the hint when OP demands the social worker to get him out of his environment
Parentification Story: NTA, stop doing anything to help, let the house become a dump to the point all the kids are removed from their care. They’ve dumped all the responsibilities of the household on their oldest child whilst giving said child no power over their siblings and it’s gotten to the point where they’ve become lazy and entitled, the world, and court, will slap them REALLY hard with the law when the kids are taken for neglect.
Jason doesn’t deserve ANY help from you or your sister. I know a “Jason” type of person. He thinks everyone should worry about his problems. He cares nothing about anyone else. He has spent the better part of his entire life living on his family charity or government assistance programs. He spent the better parts of 8 years in college and never got a degree in anything. Except maybe beer drinking and smoking weed. He scammed his entire family until they either were broke or dead. Users use people. They rarely stop being users.
Hey Xo, 😊. Happy holidays to you and yours. Last story: OP is not the idiot. I agree with him on explaining to Ann about how MIA is feeling. He didn’t ask her to change anything, he just wanted her to be aware of the child’s feelings. That being said, it definitely isn’t Ann’s responsibility about Mia’s feelings. Her mother and stepmother need to step up and generate more funds if they want Mia to have more things. When Ann is ordering Uber Eats ask her can they send her some money so they can order Mia something. This sounds like a Laura and Ex wife issue. Tell Mia everybody can’t have everything they want all the time and jealousy keeps you in a dark place. ❤
Uhm... how long was it between the dad's death and the reading of the will? For how long was brother planning with the windfall from an unexpected death in mind? It seems like it shouldn't be very long, especially compared to how long the brother knew his taxes were coming up. I probably just have true crime brainworms, but the story as written just screams "brother killed his dad because he expected financial gain" unless it took them a long damn time to find the will or something.
Parentification is child aggression pure and simple. If OP can get a part time job (for sundries) and a friend or relative is willing to house them. OP should consider legal routes, say emancipated minor status citing child aggression, neglect, medical impairment etc. some state or charitable help is probably also available for living expenses and financial support for education needs.
Story 2, NTA, and it doesn't matter if your marriage "failed" or if older sister was jealous and was "parentified" she Never supported you or your child, and Never met your child, but wants you to drop what you're doing to attend her wedding that will end in divorce. 🤣🤣🤣 Op, you've had No Contact for 2 years and had a child but you're supposed to put on "Airs" and smile at her wedding like she's the Best? Nope, NTA, and don't attend.
Last Story: People look at life like doing the opposite of societal norms will make everything better. OP taught his daughter about maintaining relationships and how making others jealous of her with her actions could influence said relationships. He didn't tell her she had to stop. He informed her of societal norms that sometimes dictate that if you want to maintain some relationships, you have to maintain certain expectations. Life would be great if people weren't so petty and shallow and small. But life isn't like that, and you have to teach your child to protect themselves and what they hold dear to continue living. So calling OP the AH for talking to his daughter "about her actions" are short-sighted to and small-minded about how the world actually works. Edit: OP is NTA.
Story one. Air b&b exists. If ops brother lives in a city with sporting events or concerts he could rent out a room or two or the basement. If he does that he should be fine for the property tax.
Op NTI: You may or may not be jealous but I wouldn’t attend the wedding. You aren’t blaming your sister you just wanted your sister to support you. The only way someone grows is to live with the mistakes that they make. That doesn’t mean you just drop out or the person you are supposed to love’s life. Say your peace and be there when bad things happen.
Story 2 NTA for not attending the wedding but YTA for the way you blame your sister for your dumb mistakes. She had every right to tell you, you were acting like a fool. I can't say the sister is an idiot because I don't know enough about her to judge but from the information I got OP sounds exhausting to be around to be honest. It's probably better for everyone if OP stayed away so she can be bitter on her own.
1: NTA. Considering he got EVERYTHING in Mom's will, he should have put money aside from the taxes instead of banking on Dad giving him anything. Dad saw the unfairness the Mom created and his move to exclude Jason was to balance the scales. Clearly Grandma is where Mom got her way of thinking from if Grandma is threatening to cut them out for not doing what she wants them to. If Grandma won't admit the Mom created this fiasco by giving everything to Jason instead of equally among the kids, then it's probably best to cut her off. 2: Don't Go. The only reason sister is inviting OP is to gloat, not rebuild the bridge she burnt 2 years ago. The time and money that would go towards attending that wedding is better spent elsewhere. OP isn't blaming the sister for the choices she made, she acknowledged that she made them. She's also doing what she can to turn her life around (going back to college while working and being a single mom). What she's upset with is that even if her sister disliked her decisions, she could have been at OP's wedding however she not only chose not to attend but to cut off contact with OP for the years since then. And that invite essentially WAS a summons as it listed OP as a BRIDESMAID, meaning the sister expects OP to show up and fulfill her "duties" all while the sister gets to gloat about how she was right and OP was wrong.
Parentified story: let it go to crap. Tell the social worker when it goes bad. The parents will not fix the issue. So you have to let it happen. And that sucks. The kids are all suffering.
1: The brother got every damn penny of the mother’s inheritance, he doesn’t need or deserve anything else. It’s too bad for him that he squandered it. 2: It’s like OP looked at her single mother with a shitty, absent ex and thought that that’s what she wants to be when she grows up. She needs to stop her whining and acting like a victim.
You don't have time to be a bridesmaid and you don't have the money for it either. Between work and kid and school that's already too much and now you think it's a good idea to step up and do all the wedding details sister doesn't want to do
Last story: Linda needs to step up and parent Mia. She's MORE than old enough to understand that some people have more or less than others, amd to be grateful for what she has. Life isn't fair - teach her to accept that and deal with it
Story 1: Can i just say that i LOVE how Op called out her grandmother on her blatant hypocrisy? We so rarely see that here. NTA Op, just cause your golden child brother is a loser doesn’t mean you need to support him.
As for a 19 or or twenty year old making an immature decision when they are in love when being forced to do something that they did not want to do, common people it happens every day. This young lady is not the idiot. It sounds like her older wiser sister didn't just not go to the wedding but also out of O.P.'s life. She now has a job a baby and is going to school part-time, and I honestly wouldn't have or make time for someone who walked away and their peace offering was come to my wedding. Also, something is telling me that the invitation was bullied out of the sister by mom.
Grandma was going to leave all her stuff to Jason even if OP and sis help him out. I think OP and sis she should go NC with everyone who sides with the golden child. It’s not OP or her sister’s fault Jason squandered away all his money and in financial ruin. He can repeat the cycle after he receives money from grandma’s demise.
Story with the OP with a heart condition - the last commenter didn't read the story. The family decided that OP is the designated maid and won't change unless OP disappears/leaves.
First story: I’m wondering if OP might be omitting the fact this was a blended family that went through divorce, mom originally had a son & dad came in w/ 2 kids
Last story - I'm not sure why Linda is letting the "if my dad was alive" stuff fly. After all, aren't the OP's ex and Linda parenting Mia together? Mia HAS two parents within that household.
I neef y’all to be so fr rn. She’s a young girl, starting her teenage years which is a hard phase already and on top of that her dad died and she has to see another girl who lives in the same housa as her have a great life with an alive dad. Most of y’all really lack empathy. What she needs is therapy, not a bunch of adults telling her off.
The story with the chores and OP with the Heart condition. The last comment totally pissed me off. It's like they didn't read anything. OP said they have talked to the parents and they still won't change even after OP was in the hospital and a case worker talked to them. I'm upset for OP the kid had a medical condition and parents are like suck it up and be our maid. OP going to leave at midnight on their 18th birthday.
The heart condition story sounds like a bad joke. "Doctor, our child is in hospital because their heart is failing. Please, tell us when he can come home. His sister threw trash on the floor and that child is the one whose job it is to pick it up." I feel sorry for that OP and fear for the other children. Once they get out to real world they will end up dead due to the entitlement.
I don't agree that the Dad was an idiot. It sounds like the son inherited a home and thousands of dollars. This is a life changing kind of inheritance, and apparently, the other siblings were being punished for being functional adults by their mother. It seems like the dad was trying to make it fair. Think about it even if he has one home and twice the money the other two siblings still might end up with less. The lazy brother who could pay those taxes working at McDonald's needs to get a job!
1) Kudos to dad for providing for the kids the mom ignored in favor of her eldest. Brother sounds like such an idiot, and shame on the relatives expecting the other siblings to subsidize him. OP absolutely NTA. 2) It's too bad OP rebelled and quit school and rushed into a marriage, too bad sis being critical and distancing herself didn't help. I think if OP wants to rebuild her relationship she should realize her sis had to act as a parent to her and tried her best to keep OP from making stupid choices. OP should stop holding a grudge. YTA. 3) It's a shame OP was parentified while the younger kids were spoiled. I'm sorry this happened to OP. NTA. OP is not the parent and not their maid and I hope they can find a way to get out of there sooner rather than later since the parents are unwilling to share the load amongst all family members. 4) Unfortunate this is how things went, but it's good they remained on good terms. It's too bad there is this disparity between the step sisters, but that is just a fact of life and stepmom should not be trying to force the elder girl to cut back so her daughter won't be jealous. Considering she hasn't a father and is feeling the ramifications of that I think better her mother should get her into therapy where she can get help with her feelings. After update: I don't see this as resolving the issue, seems nothing is being done to address the younger stepsisters feelings in a direct and positive way rather than trying to get the older girl to curtail her spending habits.
Last story: Mia in not OP's child. Why are the only two people (OP and his ex-wife) the ones who are expected to 'fix' this issue when the kid's real mother sits on her ass and won't take any responsibility other than saying, "I agree it's a crap situation but..."?
Story about Mia - OP....this has NOTHING to do with you. This is not your child and not your responsibility. Your wife needs to figure it out with HER WIFE.
I am surprised Linda has not demanded yet that op give mia a allowance too, since you see so many stories that the parents of the stepkids feel the ex should be financially supporting them lol
Do you live in a country that doesn't have death benefits for children? If you do have it why isn't Linda giving that. The answer should always be Anne is just about an adult and she will soon make her own choices about where to spend her time, it's not going to be where Mia is
Chores story: I wonder if a DNA test might show some interesting parental differences between OP and their siblings. Like if OP was either the result of an affair or adopted from an aunt or uncle who died / isn't suitable parent, or something. It could just be that the parents both think that the oldest child will always be the third parent, but it could be something more.
Story 2: OP will not be the A-hole for not attending the wedding. I'm a mother who's child is making bad decisions. She married someone she really shouldn't have married. I have to love her through it and stay in the fight so that she survives this, literally. When you love someone, sometimes you love them despite their decisions. Just so you know I don't enable her. I just let her know she has a safe place to come should she decide to leave the abusive A-hole, since I can't make her leave.
But it's her sister not her mom, she got parentified from the moment OP was born. You and OPs sister are not nearly in the same situation to make assumptions. If she doesn't want to go because she is bitter and yes that's the only reason op has, that's okay that's her prerogative.
Interesting strategy, OP should check with a real estate attorney. Get it all notarized. Of course that won't stop the family from saying OP is taking advantage.
Wait, in other reddit stories a child would be removed from their parents house for parentification, so what gives in that story with the Opie being ordered to parent 4 siblings and the cps person saying they can't do anything?
I think that unless the kids are not fed or if they are beaten or live with drug*ies they won't do anything . They have to chose who they take from the family according to the number of foster vacant places , they prioritize cases .
@@marie34Kcorrect. CPS also leaves kids physically abused by their parents in their biological homes. The cases that lead to immediate action typically involve s**ual abuse
You are an individual, it’s not your fault sister was in charge of you. You had every right to live your life your way. She got hateful and bitter when you didn’t do what she wanted! Don’t go to her wedding tell her you didn’t support me, I don’t support you. The Reddit comments were ridiculous,like sister had the right to belittle you for doing what you wanted as an adult. She is not your overlord.
And funny how the commenters call OP the AH yet are likely the same people who would say that a wedding isn’t the place to rekindle a relationship. Has sister tried to reach OP? I think the sister has ulterior motives.
Last story -YTA. Nothing is ever equal. Plus the other sister is younger. Both the Op and the wife are Ahs. They want the daughter to not buy what she wants because the brat is jealous She is going to end up resenting both of them. Imagine telling someone you can't enjoy things because someone can't buy the same items. That is resentment central
No one ever said that in the story, did we even listen? He is teaching his daughter empathy, he told her what she does is her decision but it would maybe help if she wasn't ordering food all the time or flaunting new purchases in the kids face.
@@genesisshort3097 empathy? What is empathic About not buying what you want to not make someone not feel jealous Do YOU not buy stuff so your siblings don't get jealous??? That is an insane way to look at life. Should the daughter not go to a good school either? Throw a crappy wedding because the brat feels bad?
Father who lost his home in the divorce. Says it all doesn’t it? NTA Story 2! 😂😂 Sister told her. She was right. I will never understand women who give up everything for a man!! Oh yeah YTA! Still simping for the Ex!
6:39 i GoT mArRiEd As A cOlLeGe FrEsHmAn To A cOlLeGe SeNiOr I jUsT mEt AnD gOt PrEgNaNt WiThIn 2 YeArS. bUt I dIdN’t It To TuRn OuT pOoRlY, eVeN tHoUgH iT wAs ClEaR tO eVeRy AdUlT aRoUnD mE! And now she is a mother… sigh.
I love it, we are seeing a class system grow in real time, and all of the comments are saying that Mia should suck it up, but I bet you they are some of the first that also rail against class systems in society against the one percent only most of the money 😂 enjoy all that extra cash Anna, they can't take it away from you…
Last story-NTA. Exwife partner is mollycoddel her daughter ifcshe just grows a spine do her job as a parent and just tells her daughter Mia is older, her father makes more money and she is just a child she will learn to accept it.
"Grandma said it was a different situation"
The difference is she likes him more than you.
It’s cute that last comment think the parents just haven’t dispersed the chores evenly and will figure it out. Not even a sudden heart condition was enough for OP’s parents to realize or care what they were piling onto them.
And that commenter clearly didn't read the post. OP said he was frustrated that the siblings don't have chores several times. Why does this person think OP hasn't asked for that?
“when all the chores are dispersed evenly, everything will run smoothly!” made me respond out loud “yeah, no shit.” i’m honestly jealous of that commenter for apparently making it this far in life without realizing that some people will intentionally treat you unfairly.
Yea. That commentor was stupid. Clearly they've never been abused, smh. The OP needs to stop talking about moving out, hunker down around their future economic plans and move out as soon as possible.
Nothing wrong with dad though. He's not pregnant
Considering they now have 6 kids that are "free range" (or I should say 5 kids and a Victorian scullery maid) it appears that "deep thinking" is not a strong point for them. OP could've dropped dead (god forbid) and they would've had to figure out something. The fact that only the oldest is being targeted for this, all while the others can do what they please, is deeply disturbing. If I were OP, I'd continue to be in contact with the doctor and CPS, even if nothing comes of it. It's at least setting up a paper trail. Hopefully OP has some friends he can stay with when the time comes, because as of now the parents' plans are only for OP to continue being a live-in maid for barbarians.
BS! The dad isn’t the idiot for level the playing field. Mom and her family are reason why the son’s a lazy bum today.
Not to mention it was very convenient the dad died suddenly right when he had a bill to pay. What was the plan if that hadn't happened?
And if grandma wants to leave the entitled brother her estate, then she should expect help from only him when the times comes for her to need help
@@julierichardson800 I’d wager he’s probably got more than seven thousand in the bank, but he doesn’t want to spend “his” money paying his taxes, that man child will be homeless within five years for sure, it’s gonna be brutally hard for him to get a job anywhere with no work history for over five years simply because “I don’t wanna work”
His best option would be to make a payment plan with the tax office, get a job (which will probably be minimum wage because of his lack of work history and experience) and make consistent payments until it’s paid off, but it’d essentially be like mortgage payments level of tax, so he’d basically have no personal time because he’d need to work A LOT to make those payments, and he’d also have no real income as practically all of it would go to bills
His behaviour is something I’d expect of like, an 18 year old, but I’d bet he’s probably mid 30’s at the minimum now, the manchild really needs to mature
@@julierichardson800 he probably had the money and spent it when the dad passed because he expected another windfall.
@@lorilancaster5917 family have already donated, they can support him through life lets just hope they have no kids or they will go no contact when they find out the parents prefer to support a useless bum
I loved the naive comment that OP's parents should get everyone to help with the chores OP was stuck with. They have refused to do this even after OP ended up in the hospital. OP should wait until the filth becomes horrifying then call his social worker. She could easily take all those kids out of this situation, not just OP.
Especially when the OP literally says that they told their parents exactly that.
@@slipton9797 people who use Reddit aren’t known for their reading comprehension, they usually get like halfway through a story before putting in their two cents acting like it’s a dollar
I do find the social worker a bit of an idiot though, sure I understand she cannot just remove op and the other kids but she must have seen enough situations to advice op on how to make things look bad enough so it will happen. telling a kid that already is in the dump 'sorry I cannot do anything, just deal with it' is not gonna help.
Yep
S1: Come on, grandma never intended to leave the OP anything.
Clearly brother is the golden grandkid as well
Agree and I doubt grandma even have money for them to inherit
Last story wtf were those last comments. Op nailed it. Hes not a parent of the step sis. But he is to his child. He was explaining enpathy and being mindful for the people we care about. Im very impressed with how he handled it.
First story. Sorry do an autopsy on your dad.. sudden heartfailure and a son that didn't paid the taxes because he was waiting for his dad inherritance.. yeah maybe i watch to much crimeseries on tv but that sounds like a murderplot right there..
extra if grandma suddenly kicks the bucket out of nowhere
Yes!!! I was thinking the same thing! The father wasn’t sick and ailing. It was a SUDDEN heart attack.
OP says parents refuse to give siblings chores, so someone says talk to the parents about sharing chores. Apparently they didn't understand that has been tried numerous times.
OP needs to find somewhere they can live free from the abuse and neglect.
Exactly. This is a Cinderella situation. Where one is labeled as the servant. Not an ounce of misunderstanding in it all, this was purely intentional. Perhaps even malicious. The parents may be using the OP as a scapegoat.
When my kids were little. The rule was a family makes a mess together, a family cleans a mess. We took turns choosing the music.
Well, there you go: ya made a chore fun
People know property tax is due and make proper preparations by setting money aside. Jeopardizing the roof over one's head is pure stupidity. OP is right in that the brother should sell the house and get something smaller and more affordable.
And not view every funeral as a jackpot
@@lorilancaster5917 Yeah, you eventually run out of relatives...
Or…he could stop being a lazy parasite and learn to support himself like the grown adult he is!
I cannot for the love of god stand people out there who have kids but don’t parent them, just leave it in the oldest kid’s hands. Situations like this where kids are heavily parentified become one of the main reasons why many never ever want kids. For fucks sakes, if you have kids, it’s your job to take care of them, otherwise give them to the system if you regret it later and don’t put all that Responsibility on your oldest.
Yeah, it reminds me too much of that show "Shameless"
@ only these parents are not drug attics
Last story: Mia needs to learn life isn't fair. No nearly adult teen is going to care if they have a relationship with their tween stepsister. Somebody needs to explain to Mia that even if her dad were alive there's no gaurantee he would have a good enough job to give her an allowance. Some people just have wealthier parents, welcome to the real world kid.
Oh yeah because that attitude creates perfectly healthy adults
@@ironman_546 it created adults that understand life isn't fair, sometimes they will have more than others and sometimes less and she needs to stop being so entitled to someone else's money
@@genesisshort3097 she's grieving her dad.
I love it, we're seeing a class system grow in real time, and all of the comments are defending it. literally telling Anna to enjoy being one of the one percent 😂
Valid points, and if it wasn't at home, then it'd be school or social media giving her the FOMO signals. But Linda needs to get her daughter into some sort of therapy because she's not addressing the grief and change issues. Money or stuff isn't a panacea for grief in any event. This will boil up at some point anyway. As for Anne having things better-- kinda, but she's had to deal with her parents' divorce as well as the the mom's new relationship and having the burden of stepsis's feelings being Anne's responsibility. I predict Anne's going to go LC with mom's side in the next year.
S2: Sis was right, but an invitation to spend money and time is not an olive branch.
And most of the 'being right' was in hindsight
So if sis gets a devorce is a year, is OP allowed to say "see, I was right not going to your wedding' ?
Story 1. NTA. Sounds like Jason believed when your father died, (so sorry for your loss), he was going to get everything from your dad like he got everything from your mom. That's probably why he didn't work for 5 years. Stand your ground OP. You & your sister deserve to inherit just as much as him. Good luck
Op has talked to his parents about the chores! They don’t listen! Reading comprehension is at an all time low.
And he’s been more diligent in his concerns since his hospital stay. Perhaps the parents will get the hint when OP demands the social worker to get him out of his environment
@@lorilancaster5917 I hope it doesn't take another hospital stay for CPS to intervene.
Parentification Story: NTA, stop doing anything to help, let the house become a dump to the point all the kids are removed from their care. They’ve dumped all the responsibilities of the household on their oldest child whilst giving said child no power over their siblings and it’s gotten to the point where they’ve become lazy and entitled, the world, and court, will slap them REALLY hard with the law when the kids are taken for neglect.
Jason doesn’t deserve ANY help from you or your sister. I know a “Jason” type of person. He thinks everyone should worry about his problems. He cares nothing about anyone else. He has spent the better part of his entire life living on his family charity or government assistance programs. He spent the better parts of 8 years in college and never got a degree in anything. Except maybe beer drinking and smoking weed. He scammed his entire family until they either were broke or dead. Users use people. They rarely stop being users.
Considering that his mother gave Jason EVERYTHING he might have figured that would have been the same with their father, he would get everything.
Hey Xo, 😊. Happy holidays to you and yours.
Last story: OP is not the idiot. I agree with him on explaining to Ann about how MIA is feeling. He didn’t ask her to change anything, he just wanted her to be aware of the child’s feelings. That being said, it definitely isn’t Ann’s responsibility about Mia’s feelings. Her mother and stepmother need to step up and generate more funds if they want Mia to have more things. When Ann is ordering Uber Eats ask her can they send her some money so they can order Mia something. This sounds like a Laura and Ex wife issue. Tell Mia everybody can’t have everything they want all the time and jealousy keeps you in a dark place. ❤
That last comment on the chores story didn’t read it at all, huh?
Uhm... how long was it between the dad's death and the reading of the will? For how long was brother planning with the windfall from an unexpected death in mind? It seems like it shouldn't be very long, especially compared to how long the brother knew his taxes were coming up.
I probably just have true crime brainworms, but the story as written just screams "brother killed his dad because he expected financial gain" unless it took them a long damn time to find the will or something.
I was thinking the same thing, especially since he died "rather suddenly". He was definitely involved in some way.
Parentification is child aggression pure and simple. If OP can get a part time job (for sundries) and a friend or relative is willing to house them. OP should consider legal routes, say emancipated minor status citing child aggression, neglect, medical impairment etc. some state or charitable help is probably also available for living expenses and financial support for education needs.
No deceased dad is MVP. Jason FAFO.
Jason can look after grandma after she gives him everything
Story 2, NTA, and it doesn't matter if your marriage "failed" or if older sister was jealous and was "parentified" she Never supported you or your child, and Never met your child, but wants you to drop what you're doing to attend her wedding that will end in divorce. 🤣🤣🤣
Op, you've had No Contact for 2 years and had a child but you're supposed to put on "Airs" and smile at her wedding like she's the Best? Nope, NTA, and don't attend.
“Talk to your parents about sharing the load”
Um, didn’t read the story did you?
Last Story: People look at life like doing the opposite of societal norms will make everything better. OP taught his daughter about maintaining relationships and how making others jealous of her with her actions could influence said relationships. He didn't tell her she had to stop. He informed her of societal norms that sometimes dictate that if you want to maintain some relationships, you have to maintain certain expectations. Life would be great if people weren't so petty and shallow and small. But life isn't like that, and you have to teach your child to protect themselves and what they hold dear to continue living. So calling OP the AH for talking to his daughter "about her actions" are short-sighted to and small-minded about how the world actually works.
Edit: OP is NTA.
And also it’s not on OP to have a talk nor push for a talk with Mia. That’s on her mothers and for all he knows they’ve given her the talk.
Story one. Air b&b exists. If ops brother lives in a city with sporting events or concerts he could rent out a room or two or the basement. If he does that he should be fine for the property tax.
That is a creative idea. Or, heaven forbid, he actually gets a job like an adult. Why grandma continues with the coddling, I'll never understand.
I really don’t think this lazy jobless man-child who hasn’t worked in 5 years will bother to sign up to be an air B&B! 😂
Op NTI: You may or may not be jealous but I wouldn’t attend the wedding. You aren’t blaming your sister you just wanted your sister to support you. The only way someone grows is to live with the mistakes that they make. That doesn’t mean you just drop out or the person you are supposed to love’s life. Say your peace and be there when bad things happen.
Story 2 NTA for not attending the wedding but YTA for the way you blame your sister for your dumb mistakes. She had every right to tell you, you were acting like a fool. I can't say the sister is an idiot because I don't know enough about her to judge but from the information I got OP sounds exhausting to be around to be honest. It's probably better for everyone if OP stayed away so she can be bitter on her own.
1: NTA. Considering he got EVERYTHING in Mom's will, he should have put money aside from the taxes instead of banking on Dad giving him anything. Dad saw the unfairness the Mom created and his move to exclude Jason was to balance the scales. Clearly Grandma is where Mom got her way of thinking from if Grandma is threatening to cut them out for not doing what she wants them to. If Grandma won't admit the Mom created this fiasco by giving everything to Jason instead of equally among the kids, then it's probably best to cut her off.
2: Don't Go. The only reason sister is inviting OP is to gloat, not rebuild the bridge she burnt 2 years ago. The time and money that would go towards attending that wedding is better spent elsewhere. OP isn't blaming the sister for the choices she made, she acknowledged that she made them. She's also doing what she can to turn her life around (going back to college while working and being a single mom). What she's upset with is that even if her sister disliked her decisions, she could have been at OP's wedding however she not only chose not to attend but to cut off contact with OP for the years since then. And that invite essentially WAS a summons as it listed OP as a BRIDESMAID, meaning the sister expects OP to show up and fulfill her "duties" all while the sister gets to gloat about how she was right and OP was wrong.
Parentified story: let it go to crap. Tell the social worker when it goes bad.
The parents will not fix the issue. So you have to let it happen.
And that sucks. The kids are all suffering.
Last story: OP is a king. Very measured in his approach, and reasonable. But yeah the exs family has work to do and they dont seem to know that
1: The brother got every damn penny of the mother’s inheritance, he doesn’t need or deserve anything else. It’s too bad for him that he squandered it.
2: It’s like OP looked at her single mother with a shitty, absent ex and thought that that’s what she wants to be when she grows up. She needs to stop her whining and acting like a victim.
"I just don't understand why op took off and won't talk to us anymore......."
You don't have time to be a bridesmaid and you don't have the money for it either. Between work and kid and school that's already too much and now you think it's a good idea to step up and do all the wedding details sister doesn't want to do
Story 2: She didn't have an obligation ro attend your wedding and neither do you to attend hers. Reasons are irrelevant.
Last story: Linda needs to step up and parent Mia. She's MORE than old enough to understand that some people have more or less than others, amd to be grateful for what she has.
Life isn't fair - teach her to accept that and deal with it
Story 1: Can i just say that i LOVE how Op called out her grandmother on her blatant hypocrisy?
We so rarely see that here.
NTA Op, just cause your golden child brother is a loser doesn’t mean you need to support him.
As for a 19 or or twenty year old making an immature decision when they are in love when being forced to do something that they did not want to do, common people it happens every day. This young lady is not the idiot. It sounds like her older wiser sister didn't just not go to the wedding but also out of O.P.'s life. She now has a job a baby and is going to school part-time, and I honestly wouldn't have or make time for someone who walked away and their peace offering was come to my wedding. Also, something is telling me that the invitation was bullied out of the sister by mom.
Grandma was going to leave all her stuff to Jason even if OP and sis help him out. I think OP and sis she should go NC with everyone who sides with the golden child. It’s not OP or her sister’s fault Jason squandered away all his money and in financial ruin. He can repeat the cycle after he receives money from grandma’s demise.
Social worker was useless. Keep calling cps and your doctors about this.
It always seems that Social workers only act if there is a bitter ex in the story otherwise they let things slide
Story with the OP with a heart condition - the last commenter didn't read the story. The family decided that OP is the designated maid and won't change unless OP disappears/leaves.
First story: I’m wondering if OP might be omitting the fact this was a blended family that went through divorce, mom originally had a son & dad came in w/ 2 kids
Well if that’s true then the brother shouldn’t have been surprised when he didn’t get anything in the will from the father that passed away.
Last story - I'm not sure why Linda is letting the "if my dad was alive" stuff fly. After all, aren't the OP's ex and Linda parenting Mia together? Mia HAS two parents within that household.
Just because Linda and Mia are poor doesn’t mean Anne has to suffer 😂
I neef y’all to be so fr rn. She’s a young girl, starting her teenage years which is a hard phase already and on top of that her dad died and she has to see another girl who lives in the same housa as her have a great life with an alive dad. Most of y’all really lack empathy. What she needs is therapy, not a bunch of adults telling her off.
The story with the chores and OP with the Heart condition. The last comment totally pissed me off. It's like they didn't read anything. OP said they have talked to the parents and they still won't change even after OP was in the hospital and a case worker talked to them. I'm upset for OP the kid had a medical condition and parents are like suck it up and be our maid. OP going to leave at midnight on their 18th birthday.
The heart condition story sounds like a bad joke. "Doctor, our child is in hospital because their heart is failing. Please, tell us when he can come home. His sister threw trash on the floor and that child is the one whose job it is to pick it up." I feel sorry for that OP and fear for the other children. Once they get out to real world they will end up dead due to the entitlement.
I don't agree that the Dad was an idiot. It sounds like the son inherited a home and thousands of dollars. This is a life changing kind of inheritance, and apparently, the other siblings were being punished for being functional adults by their mother. It seems like the dad was trying to make it fair. Think about it even if he has one home and twice the money the other two siblings still might end up with less. The lazy brother who could pay those taxes working at McDonald's needs to get a job!
So annoying when commenters say to talk to parents like op hasnt said they and social workers have talked!!!!
1) Kudos to dad for providing for the kids the mom ignored in favor of her eldest. Brother sounds like such an idiot, and shame on the relatives expecting the other siblings to subsidize him. OP absolutely NTA.
2) It's too bad OP rebelled and quit school and rushed into a marriage, too bad sis being critical and distancing herself didn't help. I think if OP wants to rebuild her relationship she should realize her sis had to act as a parent to her and tried her best to keep OP from making stupid choices. OP should stop holding a grudge. YTA.
3) It's a shame OP was parentified while the younger kids were spoiled. I'm sorry this happened to OP. NTA. OP is not the parent and not their maid and I hope they can find a way to get out of there sooner rather than later since the parents are unwilling to share the load amongst all family members.
4) Unfortunate this is how things went, but it's good they remained on good terms. It's too bad there is this disparity between the step sisters, but that is just a fact of life and stepmom should not be trying to force the elder girl to cut back so her daughter won't be jealous. Considering she hasn't a father and is feeling the ramifications of that I think better her mother should get her into therapy where she can get help with her feelings.
After update: I don't see this as resolving the issue, seems nothing is being done to address the younger stepsisters feelings in a direct and positive way rather than trying to get the older girl to curtail her spending habits.
Last story: Mia in not OP's child. Why are the only two people (OP and his ex-wife) the ones who are expected to 'fix' this issue when the kid's real mother sits on her ass and won't take any responsibility other than saying, "I agree it's a crap situation but..."?
Story 3: NTA. Don't lift a finger going forward.
The comment "just talk to your parents" obviously didnt read the story n was tone deaf🤦🏼
Story about Mia - OP....this has NOTHING to do with you. This is not your child and not your responsibility. Your wife needs to figure it out with HER WIFE.
I am surprised Linda has not demanded yet that op give mia a allowance too, since you see so many stories that the parents of the stepkids feel the ex should be financially supporting them lol
Do you live in a country that doesn't have death benefits for children? If you do have it why isn't Linda giving that. The answer should always be Anne is just about an adult and she will soon make her own choices about where to spend her time, it's not going to be where Mia is
S1: NTA, his mom destroyed him.
Chores story: I wonder if a DNA test might show some interesting parental differences between OP and their siblings. Like if OP was either the result of an affair or adopted from an aunt or uncle who died / isn't suitable parent, or something. It could just be that the parents both think that the oldest child will always be the third parent, but it could be something more.
That would explain it
(not justified it though)
But why I think in the story 2 that the sister wants to show op this what she will get if she don't marry young.
Linda needs to parent Mia. This has nothing to do w Ann
Agree. It’s not Anne’s fault Mia and Linda are poor. OP’s ex already ruined the family, now she is ruining her daughter’s life for her new wife
Story 1 last commenter: Don't lump dad in as a crappy person. He was making goid for his kids after the trash mom's actions.
Hi XO
Story 2: OP will not be the A-hole for not attending the wedding. I'm a mother who's child is making bad decisions. She married someone she really shouldn't have married. I have to love her through it and stay in the fight so that she survives this, literally. When you love someone, sometimes you love them despite their decisions. Just so you know I don't enable her. I just let her know she has a safe place to come should she decide to leave the abusive A-hole, since I can't make her leave.
But it's her sister not her mom, she got parentified from the moment OP was born. You and OPs sister are not nearly in the same situation to make assumptions. If she doesn't want to go because she is bitter and yes that's the only reason op has, that's okay that's her prerogative.
Give Jason his $7k on the proviso that you are paid back double or you put a lien on the house
Interesting strategy, OP should check with a real estate attorney. Get it all notarized. Of course that won't stop the family from saying OP is taking advantage.
Wait, in other reddit stories a child would be removed from their parents house for parentification, so what gives in that story with the Opie being ordered to parent 4 siblings and the cps person saying they can't do anything?
I think that unless the kids are not fed or if they are beaten or live with drug*ies they won't do anything . They have to chose who they take from the family according to the number of foster vacant places , they prioritize cases .
@@marie34Kcorrect. CPS also leaves kids physically abused by their parents in their biological homes. The cases that lead to immediate action typically involve s**ual abuse
You are an individual, it’s not your fault sister was in charge of you. You had every right to live your life your way. She got hateful and bitter when you didn’t do what she wanted! Don’t go to her wedding tell her you didn’t support me, I don’t support you. The Reddit comments were ridiculous,like sister had the right to belittle you for doing what you wanted as an adult. She is not your overlord.
And funny how the commenters call OP the AH yet are likely the same people who would say that a wedding isn’t the place to rekindle a relationship. Has sister tried to reach OP? I think the sister has ulterior motives.
I don't know about the sister having ulterior motives. I agree with another commenter who thought that the mom talked her into inviting OP.
Last story -YTA.
Nothing is ever equal.
Plus the other sister is younger.
Both the Op and the wife are Ahs.
They want the daughter to not buy what she wants because the brat is jealous
She is going to end up resenting both of them.
Imagine telling someone you can't enjoy things because someone can't buy the same items.
That is resentment central
No one ever said that in the story, did we even listen? He is teaching his daughter empathy, he told her what she does is her decision but it would maybe help if she wasn't ordering food all the time or flaunting new purchases in the kids face.
so what about Mia?
@@genesisshort3097 empathy? What is empathic About not buying what you want to not make someone not feel jealous
Do YOU not buy stuff so your siblings don't get jealous???
That is an insane way to look at life.
Should the daughter not go to a good school either? Throw a crappy wedding because the brat feels bad?
@GiordanDiodato what about Mia?
It's not the daughter's fault that Mia's parents don't have money.
Don't punish a child because another is jealous
Father who lost his home in the divorce. Says it all doesn’t it? NTA
Story 2! 😂😂 Sister told her. She was right. I will never understand women who give up everything for a man!! Oh yeah YTA!
Still simping for the Ex!
Story 4: With every story like this I grow more and more convinced that blending families is immoral.
6:39 i GoT mArRiEd As A cOlLeGe FrEsHmAn To A cOlLeGe SeNiOr I jUsT mEt AnD gOt PrEgNaNt WiThIn 2 YeArS. bUt I dIdN’t It To TuRn OuT pOoRlY, eVeN tHoUgH iT wAs ClEaR tO eVeRy AdUlT aRoUnD mE!
And now she is a mother… sigh.
Story 3: NTA
Story 4: NTA and op is a good father
Hey XO!! First comment
I love it, we are seeing a class system grow in real time, and all of the comments are saying that Mia should suck it up, but I bet you they are some of the first that also rail against class systems in society against the one percent only most of the money 😂 enjoy all that extra cash Anna, they can't take it away from you…
Last story-NTA. Exwife partner is mollycoddel her daughter ifcshe just grows a spine do her job as a parent and just tells her daughter Mia is older, her father makes more money and she is just a child she will learn to accept it.