'if they were biggots they wouldn't have let her be engaged to him" I'm sorry mom and dad, were you planning a dowry? an arranged marriage? 'let her get engaged' are they serious?!
As a disabled person I have been asked (and told, and demanded) to give up seats on transit for NON disabled persons so S2's friends chiming in can go sit on it.
Story 2 - I'm shocked that woman sat down at a table without even asking. OP could have been waiting for someone or his food. I don't even sit in a chair at a bar without asking if there is anyone sitting there. Story 1 - there are no words for the stupidity of those parents. 🙄
Not to mention that for all they know, he could have had an invisible disability that required sitting at a table because counter seating for longer than 10 minutes, can be very rough on some invisible disabilities. I speak from personal experience.
My mom is a nurse, she works 12 hours shifts, sometimes 19, sometimes more. She is on her feet all day, helping with major medical crises and moving patients.She is in emergency mode nearly the entire time, she must be on her toes. She drives 30 minutes to work and 30 minutes back. Working at a hospital, even going through med school, is one of the hardest things one can do as you're responsible for the lives of others. It's mentally exhausting, emotionally exhausting and physically exhausting. My mother often pulls off on the side of the road to sleep in her car because she's too drained to make it home. OP's partner worked from home, taking all this in, I'd say the partner is the idiot. They got to sit on their butt all day, and all they had to worry about was their job.
Let you get engaged Let him come to a family dinner I didn't realize you were 14 I thought you were grown adult Don't need mommy and Daddy's permission for anything
Yup! Very controlling parents! They'll expect OP to ask permission for everything even if OP were 60! Very, very low contact is the way to go with those kind of parents!
Story 1: Absolutely despicable behavior. How amazingly ignorant. That dog is literally his eyes. They'd rather he be humiliated than allow a perfectly reasonable legitimate service animal. And wtf "let her" get engaged???
@@MrBeevee5The parents are worried about the optics , how someone else’s disability affects them. They want OP to go on the trip but on their terms. OP refused and they’re still throwing a tantrum over it. The problem isn’t OP , they’re fiancé or the services dog, it’s the two geriatric toddlers .
Resident/missing dinner story: so they had time to fix or order something, but gaming took all their attention? C'mon, even with a partner with a regular job this would've been discourteous. Then to text him while he's out to pick up something? I'd start taking note of other actions/inactions and see what kind of pattern forms.
For real, that's just common decency in a relationship, he's hardly home, so you'd think it would stick out in their partners mind to be a little attentive. And folks don't seem to realize that sometimes you don't have a choice as to where you do your residency, so an hour & a half commute can be pretty common. Really, any position in the medical field can be very overwhelming. Yeah, it's a choice, but until someone's lived it, you don't really grasp just how much work and how unforgiving it actually is. (That's without the hoard of horrible patients and the even worse in-office politics.)
Thank you. I was also baffled by the YTA comment. If I say I will do something, it is my fault when I don't follow through. Why is this concept that hard?
Story 2: Barista here, firm NTA. Trust that we don’t care if you’re there 20 minutes or 12 hours, if you’re polite, respectful and don’t cause a major fuss then sit as long as you’d like. If OP is enough of a regular that the staff recognizes them, they’re going to be prioritized over two older women throwing a tantrum over a chair. Also sorry if this bursts any boomer’s bubble, but young patrons and students are consistently the best customers. I’ve seen far worse behaviour (rude, impatient, screaming, cursing) from older people than kids just minding their business.
It really just comes down to they asked OP to move. They said no. That should have been the end of it. A staff member then backed up OP for the big reason of OP being there 1st. That's usually how it goes in a restaurant unless you have reservations.
@MrJpaynebb ap Boomer here. Coffee shops/cafes have their own etiquette that is different from a restaurant. People coming in to work and staying several hours is expected.
i would have assumed that if the cafe was that busy, or if the cafe didn't want loitering from people taking space, they would have posted somewhere near the door that there was a strict time limit of how long people could stay. no sign means stay as long as you want (reasonably). also, some people who study in the cafes probably order a few more times than just the initial order meaning that they would be better for business than just the come in order once and leave variety
The last commenter on the last story doesn’t get it: that is exactly what he wants, for stepmother to stop trying to force her way into being his mother. Don’t threaten OP with a good time!
Cafe story - OP is a regular customer who buys a regular meal and never makes trouble. She had been there for half an hour when the entitled others turned up. Uncooked meal - OP needs a partner who cares about them. Their current partner is sponging off them so needs to be booted. Then OP can rent out their inherited home and use that money to rent a small flat handy for work. They might well make a small profit that can help pay off their debt. Last story - stepmother was imposed on a small boy at the most vulnerable time and they wonder why he never accepted her as his mother? Boy oh boy. Some folks have zero empathy and I, for one, would go NC until they apologise.
Last story - Imposed?? Really? He had a woman who loved OP as her own and sacrificed for this 6 years old. Only to be slapped in the face when OP basically says only blood matters and she is nothing to them.... People like OP are why more and more people refuse to date/marry single parents - because no matter how great you are, chance is you will never be acknowledged and your effort and love will be wasted.
Story 3: NTA. God the YTA commebters are brain dead. The partner agreed to make dinner then just didn't. OP made a request and the partner agreed. OP didn't make some unreasonable demand. You know what's unreasonable? Texting a food order to soneone who didn't offer. And OP didn't ask if their lifestyle was sustainable so those commenters can stfu.
The Op is paying for that ah partner. He should leave them. If they live rent free and can't even make one dinner then what are they doing to earn their keep
Story 2: OP is not the A-hole. She was there first. I have back and knee issues. I could sit at a counter and would if I needed to sit. I have taken up a 2 person table at a coffee shop when studying or finishing up paperwork for my job before turning it in before we went to online documentation.
If they were only eating and only needed 1/3 space to set down their pastry would you share the table with them and make new single serving friends? Yes you're working but most people are able to have a conversation and continue to work, it's called an office. Why would it suddenly be so difficult to carry on a conversation and do your work when you're in a public space at a communal seating location? Also anybody and everybody can ask something of you The determining factor is how they respond when you say no And Having to have somebody remove them from the store When they were told no is the actual problem Everybody should just accept no But at the same time I really think they could have shared and it would have been fine.
Yes thank you, I’ve worked at cafes before and would have no issue with a person taking up a 2 person table for a few hours each week. Do not under stand the people calling op the asshole
Besides unless that customer has also been there for those three hours, for all she knew OP had been there for 10 minutes! So the time OP has been there is not relevant ..nor the thing that OP was doing would be relevant! It's perfectly normal to 'claim' a 2 person's table for yourself..can someone show me how a one person table in a restaurant even looks like ?
A few of the places in my town are designed so you can't hang around specifically to do work, only specifically to just hang around. Yes, it was rude of the two ladies to make assumptions by sitting down, but it's also rude to occupy table for hours and spend little to no money while doing work. I agree with the ESH commenter.
I don't understand the first parents' thought process! 😕 How daft must you be to tell someone their seeing eye dog is not important for your vacation! Ableist completely! Top it all off to say he "allowed" her to get engaged to him as proof he wasn't? What? Misogynist & Ableist! I would run and block my number. See how much mom & dad enjoy their family times after that! ✌️
If OPs mom or dad wear glasses due to older age I'd ask them to leave their visual supports at home so we can all be miserable on the trip. Same for brother and gf.
@@apatik279 And a service dog is generally even MORE necessary and takes even more hassle to get than glasses. Generally, that means there's a severe disability. I can still see without my glasses, though it's blurry as all get out, but to have a seeing eye dog, the fiancé probably can't see very well even with the best prescription.
NTA OP's partner should have been thoughtful enough to prepare the promised meal, but I'm definitely wondering why the partner was hungry only when OP went to get his own food. Did the partner not understand the irony? Partner was home for some time playing games, was asked to prepare food to save time for OP. Agreed to prepare food. "Forgot" to prepare food, yet is all of a sudden hungry when OP goes to get his own food? I'd certainly think that the partners hunger pangs while gaming would have reminded him.
Story 2: NTA. Spectacularly rude behavior. People who think they get to direct the world are trash, as is OP's roommate. You know how yiu know OP isn't the AH? The staff asked the witches to leave.
Story1: NTA. Even back in the 70s and 80s seeing-eye-dogs were widely accepted in most places. My father worked in federal law enforcement and had a secretary who was blind. Her seeing-eye-dog was always at her side and no one had a problem with it. If anyone ever had, my father would tell them to get bent. The parents not wanting the dog to come is like someone not wanting a hearing impaired person to wear their hearing aids and expecting them to only communicate via sign language when no one else coming is fluent in ASL.
Seeing eye/guide dogs, wheelchairs, glasses, hearing aids, medical alert dog, canes, prosthetic arm/leg/eye are medical equipment and are required for someone’s ability for living. The mom and dad are ablest. Last comment on the last story - maybe OP has the attitude with the stepmom because she and OP’s dad did what most stepparents do, especially when the bio parent has passed. They push, shove and attempt to strong arm the child into accepting them as a parent and demanding/insisting that they drop the step. They guilt them with “I’ve done, I’ve been apart of your life since …, why can’t you …. Then the child, like OP, when they are old enough slam the door shut on the overstepping behavior. Newsflash children do not have a responsibility to make a grown up feel better about their choices, children do not owe their parents for the cost/expense of raising them. It is OP and his fiancée’s wedding. They get to decide who comes and what happens at said event. People need to grow up and stop.
Cafe story: for all the newcomers knew she could have recently gotten there and ordered or was waiting for the line to die down before placing her order.
Final story: Last commenter needs to stay in their lane and not be so damn condescending. Every family therapist will warn against forcing a relationship with stepfamily because the more you force a child to treat you as a parent, the less chance there is of a relationship naturally forming. And now the stepmother has no one to blame but herself for being uninvited. I hope OP's dad thinks his wife is worth getting uninvited from his son's wedding.
The comment is oozing with judgement. "you do you boo boo" translation: I think your being a child , but also I don't wanna get into your family politics.
@nancyomalley6286 Bigots ARE control freaks. Trying to control the world around you simply because you don't like something about someone is classic bigot behavior
Those anger issues are more likely caused by stress and exhaustion from being on hellish intern hours than new behavior. OP needs sleep, not a therapist.
Story 1: NTA, unless someone has a severe (like need to go to the hospital) allergy to the dog, there is no legitimate reason to exclude your fiancee's seeing eye dog. Your family needs to get used to it, there will be a seeing eye dog, or other aid around for the rest of your lives. It is especially important that the dog be there, since you are going to an environment that your fiancee is not used to.
Story 1: You are NOT a horrible daughter. Your parents are pretty horrible themselves. Your mother and father need to learn what a service animal is. If they can't cope, you can't go on the family trip. Period. Story 2: NTA. Without having been there. Since OP is clearly a reliable customer that staff chose to support over Beatrice and Suzy told me enough. Not giving you space up to Beatrice and Suzy was nothing like not giving your seat on public transit to a disabled person. Story 3: You and your partner were both idiots. Partner knows that residency is tough and having said they'd make the meal, they suck for getting distracted. You were an idiot for ignoring their order. Glad you worked it out and will be renting your home out for the time being. Story 4: NTA. It's YOUR wedding. Stepmother needs to back off.
Cafe story- nta these other people commenting yta are completely wrong. It’s not surprising that students like to frequent these stores to study. Just because op was there for awhile doesn’t mean she has to move and the cafe agreed with her so definitely not the AH just those women who decided they had a right to take ops spot and try to strong arm her.
Story 2: NTA. OP was there first, in a place with finders keepers rules for the table. They even tolerated a random person sitting down at their table without asking. The people trying to push someone else out of a table they were first to are the assholes.
Story 4: NTA, you and your fiance didn't want to have those traditions, so everything they are saying in moot. But her idiocy of pushing your boundaries (since you were a child), makes her a giant AH. Most children do not view step-parents as actual parents, even when there is a death. But it is possible (and likely) to develop a perfectly healthy and loving relationship with a step-parent and step-child, as long as both can accept each-other's boundaries.
Exactly. It sounds like that's exactly the reason they never had any kind of actual relationship. She sounds pushy and overbearing as all hell and the father sounds like a limp-wristed simp Like you mentioned, it wouldn't matter if they were as close as a "real" mother & son. If that's not something the couple wants, it shouldn't matter, it's not about them. I can't believe the amount of morons trying to Hallmark movie situations like these.
Exactly this, if she hadn’t pushed to be in a role she didn’t have all his life then maybe OP would have “thrown her a bone” so to speak, but the more you push a relationship on someone, the more that someone pulls away She could’ve been “mom” if she’d not pushed it and let the relationship develop naturally, I’m not saying she would’ve, but it’s possible, however it’s her own fault things are the way they are with OP so resistant to her wants and wishes
All the comments are right on. Pushing to be accepted a certain way is NOT the way to go. Either natural bonding or let it go. This wedding isn't the first time she pushed the issue, I'm sure.
Maybe it's because I live in a city with a Uni, but there's students studying at tables at every Cafe. Getting a drink or two or a drink and breakfast while studying is the norm. It's not like people just sitting down to socialize and drink are leaving within 30 minutes. I myself sat studying in Starbucks and other local cafes often for an hour or two, and often times people around me who came before me were STILL THERE when I left. But maybe it's a European/German thing
Cafe story: Studying in cafes for hours is not uncommon. I wrote my thesis in a strabucks cafe. I would spend at least 4 hours a day in that cafe, and no one ever complained. OP is NTA.
Meal story: the partner is the idiot. They literally spend hours playing games on PC instead of making food for bith of them and then expected op to buy them food anyway. I hope they improve because honestly, residency is a difficult time for people to go through.
Story 1: OP's parents are disgusting. And they didn't "let" her do anything, she's a grown woman. Since they're calling her names, guilt-tripping her, and telling her to "shut up", as well as being ableist pieces of cr@p, she should skip the trip and seriously consider going low or no-contact.
Missing dinner story. In my opinion the OP was right to be upset. They called their partner and partner said yes I can do that. If the partner was tired or said I just want to relax it doesn't sound like OP would have been upset. The question that said did you offer to get groceries, that is ridiculous if the partner knew they didn't have the ingredients they would have said or if they checked they could have called op. Also they partner had so much time. OP says it takes like and hour + to get home then they had to wait another hour plus because of the accident so they had two or almost three hours. So you mean to tell me they had that much time and didn't once think about making or calling op to get food but open left and they now have time to stop and send in an order for their food. Yes they need to communicate and I agree that the drive is way too much for OP, so they are making a good move. However OP was right to be mad that the partner forgot.
S1 - OP should ask if they need to borrow the dog in order to guide their heads out of their asses. OP NTA and don’t let them bully you with their deplorable ideas. S2 - The employee tossed the two women out and not OP. The cafe made the decision. OP NTA.
You were there first and that’s why they asked for them to leave . You are obviously a regular customer and they are probably used to you being there .
Story 4: OP's stepmother is an overstepping A-hole. Good stepmothers let the children decide what to call them. It leads to a better relationship. Trying to erase someone's Mom is never a good look.
Bullshit - people like OP is exactly why more and more people refuse to date/marry single parents. You sacrifice, love and look after this kid, only for the kid to turn around and say they don't care about you. The step-mom has been in OP's life for MORE than 12 fucking years and absolutely no recognition or empathy. All she wanted is ONE effort on OP's part to acknowledge the contribution made and OP couldn't be bothered. Honestly would disown OP if I was the dad.....
So you live with a partner who works long horrible hours and can't fix them a meal every other day? .. and if u don't feel like it just order for the both of you.. I have to wonder if some of these people even like their partners.
You are sitting there having a meal and then chilling. If the staff asked you to leave then you should but the staff moved them on, so they were happy with you staying.
story 1: Tell me both OP's parents are covert narcissist/enablers, without using any of those words. Lack of empathy (whatever the cause) and bigotry often go hand-in-hand.
Story #3: What's wrong with these brain dead idiots calling him a ahole?? His partner agreed to cook the food!! But when he goes to get himself something to eat, all of a sudden she remembers she's hungry too!! She can eat those mushrooms from Mario's!!
Here's the thing Katsu is an ear immediately meal, he should be texting with an ETA so they can have it ready. Id be sat waiting as a) Drs don't have set finish times (i.e just because shift finishes at 7 doesn't mean they leave at 7) and b) the commute is so long there is easily a 2hour window when the food needed to be ready for!
Ok OP brings her husband. Then she is asked to do something and leaves hubby alone. Maybe the parents think he's a faker. They will then get mad when they tell him to get up and move and he accidentally knocks something over because neither OP or his dog is there to help. Even with a cane doesn't mean he couldn't accidentally knock something over.
huh? what's wrong with comments on the doctor/home-cooked food situation? They said they were going to cook for them- if I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I don't get 'distracted' and 'forget'. UGH.
Pffff, that last comment XD I'm sure OP would love it if stepmom stopped "wasting her time" on them, since that's exactly what they've been asking for. I get that being a step parent, but some of them make it that way for themselves by pushing too much.
Story2: NTA. Even in places where sitting at the same table as a stranger is considered normal, the people will generally ask before sitting down next to someone they don't know. I experienced this in Singapore. No one ever sat at the same table as me without asking first. It is very normal in the US for a single person to sit alone at a 2 person table. I prefer to sit in booths whenever possible because they are more comfortable. Also, am I getting it right that the person who stood in line for the coffee is the one who allegedly had back problems? If that person had back problems, why wasn't she sitting down while the other one was ordering coffee? Or did I get that wrong? To just plop down at someone else's table without asking first-- and furthermore with the intention to try to make the person who was there first leave-- is incredibly rude and entitled. If the coffee shop condones OP sitting there for a few hours and staff were willing to tell the other two women to leave, then I think we know where the coffee shop employees stand. OP is a regular customer. And OP is right that there is no "need" to go to a coffee shop like there is to use transportation. I don't blame OP for being annoyed that someone sat at the same table without asking. It's just plain rude to do that. Especially since OP figured out that they were going to try to take over the table. The fact that they then started badgering OP instead of accepting the "No" shows they were even more entitled and rude. I don't drink coffee and don't go to coffee shops, but if I were to do so I would never just sit down at a table with a stranger and I would never try to make that person leave. I'd either suck it up and sit at the bar or I'd take my drink to go. I will also mention that the fact that there were empty bar seats makes the two karens even worse because its not like there were zero available seats at all. They were selfish and entitled and tried to push OP out.
Story 3: huge NTA, and I'm sad that OP ended up forgiving their partner. Partner said they would make OP's favorite dish, then totally failed to follow through because they were playing video games, then totally failed to apologize and accused OP of being the unreasonable one instead, then expected OP to go to the extra effort of getting them fast food too even though they were the one to not provide first. That's too many bad decisions. I don't see OP having a good marriage.
Story 3: So just to confirm, Op asks for their partner to cook them dinner, they say they will, then they don’t because they wanted to play video games…then they have the nerve to ask for Op to bring them food after… No thats idiotic and Op is NTA
Last story last comment didn’t they read op’s mum didn’t pass till op was 9 so for 3 years op had a mum just because stepmom was around doesn’t mean jack.
Coffee student story: ESH. The other customers were rude and entitled, you never walk up to an already occupied table and ask people to move. However, OP can't complain that other people sit around them and talk openly in a public space. If you want silence, go to the library. If you want privacy, stay home. But you can't complain in a cafe that people sit across from you. You're in public. Adjust expectations.
Last story- 2 adults plan and pay for their wedding! They decide what happens during that event. Having to tell a grown woman NO MULTIPLE TIMES about a dance is maddening! Talk about being pushy AND NEEDY AND WHINY. 😫…. Better not to have her there now since she didn’t get her way or MANY of your guest will have to hear her boo hoo tale of woe! The nerve of this woman!
Last story: these "step" stories are just cautionary tales to never be a step parent. I know some blended families actually work but overall it just appears to be a unreciprocated relationship.
Coffee House Story: Reluctant NTA. The barista making the others leave means OP is a valued customer. I will sit at a coffee place and do work for a couple of hours when they are slow but if a place is busy, I personally think it’s inconsiderate to take up a table like that. Although if there were 2 counter stools, the women should have taken them and left OP alone.
OP #3 is why I don’t go to Starbucks in my neighborhood anymore, people come in and sit for HOURS on their computers, they lost my business long time ago , and I’m not the only one. They buy a cup of coffee and spend the entire day .
I thought there was a limit (less than 24 hours) that a resident can be made to work, due to physand mental exhaustion. That's how mistakes are made in treating patients
Resident story: ESH. Partner is a jerk for not keeping their word but OP is petty for not getting food for them at the restaurant. Being petty is a poor choice for a relationship you want to last.
Nah, not getting food from OP is a natural consequence for not having kept their word and making dinner. Besides, it had been many hours since OP had eaten. They're both hangry and tired.
Really the person who broke their promise should have been getting the take out. It’s in children’s shows: saying I’m sorry is the first step, then how can I help. Partner should have said, I’m so sorry I forgot, let me pick up some take out. Partner could have avoided the whole thing by not making excuses and being defensive
Camping at tables is rude and inconsiderate to other diners and the establishment. A customer does not buy a table for hours just because they bought coffee and a croissant. Tables are meant to turn in order to accommodate the flow of business.
1) I am so sorry for OP to have such ignorant and inconsiderate parents. WTH, it's his guide dog, of course he is going to have his dog with him. No, mom she doesn't respect that. Good for OP for standing up for her fiance. OP's parents suck so much, it is sad OP has to ask if she is in the wrong. OP NTA and needs to stand firm on this and not go to spend time with awful parents. 2) OP was taking up space long after finishing breakfast, taking up two spaces for hours in a busy cafe and therefore not allowing other customers to have a comfortable place to sit and eat. These other people were extremely rude and entitled to think they could demand another customer to move from the table they were occupying. ESH, but mostly the women who were asked to leave for bothering OP. 3) It is sad OP was anticipating to have food waiting when they finally got home as they had been given to expect so I can't blame them for being upset. I think the job, extended absence, and overly long commute is going to kill their relationship or OP and something needs to change if that is not going to happen. ESH. After update: It's good OP realized how their current life is not sustainable as is and they discussed a plan for necessary changes to make it work better for them both. 4) It is sad OP kept this woman who was acting as his mother at a distance and still has so little regard for her, but he has a right to his feelings and making his own choices. it is not right to try and pressure OP to do something at his wedding that he does not want. She can express her desire, but after being told no, that should have been the end of it. OP NTA.
Story3: ESH. I get that OP was stressed and tired and the partner was a douchecanoe to just "forget" and have OP come home to find no food and be hungry. Now, mind you, I have no problem with OP for going and getting food for himself but not for the partner. Would have been more petty to say "I forgot this little thing". Where I think OP neared AH territory was calling to the partner as if the partner wasa dog or a child and then berating the partner as if they were a child instead of an equal. I do get OP was exhausted so I do understand why he did it, but it was still not good behavior. I know how frustrating it is when you ask someone to do something, they agree to do it, and then don't. It happens to me all the time. I don't go chew the other person out over it though. Partially bc I know it won't accomplish anything to do so. OP really needs to talk to the partner on an equal level about expectations and so forth. And OP should have perhaps sent a reminder or message to say "Hey, there was a bad traffic accident, are you still making dinner?" or something to remind the person. I say this bc I have had terrible memory ever since perimenopause started so I get both povs-- it can be easy to get distracted and forget things. But the partner was a douchecanoe to expect OP to get them something to eat after they said they would cook and then forgot.
WOW, may I never end up being a stepmother. That poor woman taking care of this person for most of his / her life and not even ONE DANCE. That is incredibly selfish and self-centered.
OP: "I think a lot of people say they have back issues or some other mild condition just to get what they want." Capt. Obvious: You mean exactly the way you just did, OP? Hmm?
If these people to coffee shop make tips then her occupying a table for 3 hours they just lost six or seven other customers that could have been placing tips she wants to stay that long she needs to go to a damn library
Idk about you or your country but in the countries _I_ have been or lived in, and that's four across the globe, coffee shops have the tip jar on the counter because it is NOT a sit down restaurant where you're expected to sit at a table and order from there and stay there the whole time and then tip AT the table. Coffee shops are walk in, order, get your drink, and sit down or leave as you wish. Again, tip jars are on the counter and given when you order your food. THAT IS, if the coffee shops even HAVE or EXPECT tips, in the country I CURRENTLY live in, tipping isn't a thing and neither is tip jars on coffee counters. So again, not a restaurant, doesn't affect other patrons buying or tipping items. Stop trying to fish for something on OP when he was completely justified.
@@impishrebel5969Live in the US. And yeah, a lot of places do have tip jars and or just give you a tipping option if you're using a card. Really what op does only becomes an issue if it is a place with regular wait staff and such. Doubtful that's the case for a coffee shop
@@impishrebel5969Right! In the US it’s uncommon for coffee shops to have waiter that need to be tips. You buy your coffee at the register and sit down yourself.
Last story about the wedding: when OP was a child, he was ok with stepmom cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing his laundry, driving him places, etc., but he can't give her a special dance? He said he never saw her as a mom, but he was willing to benefit from her labor. Then he dis-invites them when he didn't tell them the potential consequences if they continued to ask for a dance. He is a user.
Story 2: ESH, you where taking up a 4 person plus table by yourself? WTF were you thinking? But they also suck, for not having the staff handle you, instead of handling it themselves.
if op was the idiot, why did the staff not asj her to leave, rather than the other two women. coffee shops are notorious for college students spending hours studying there, plus the business isnt losing any money with op being there. youre just as entitled as those two women
so slavery to you is "hey honey, can you make me a meal? thank you." you must be really sheltered then. you can't just promise something and then not do it.
The partner had AGREED to make dinner. They knew that OP was going to be there after a super long shift and they should have cared enough to make dinner ahead of time. Besides, even if OP was an hour later than planned, the partner could have made something and then heated it up once OP got home. But no, video games are more important.
'if they were biggots they wouldn't have let her be engaged to him" I'm sorry mom and dad, were you planning a dowry? an arranged marriage? 'let her get engaged' are they serious?!
As a disabled person I have been asked (and told, and demanded) to give up seats on transit for NON disabled persons so S2's friends chiming in can go sit on it.
I find this odd. I'm not disabled, yet no one ever had the gall to ask me to give up my seat.
@@MrBeevee5 Probably because there are sometimes bullies who think a disabled person might be easier to bully or less likely to be able to fight them.
Story 2 - I'm shocked that woman sat down at a table without even asking. OP could have been waiting for someone or his food. I don't even sit in a chair at a bar without asking if there is anyone sitting there.
Story 1 - there are no words for the stupidity of those parents. 🙄
They're not stupid. They're control freaks who know exactly what they're doing.
Not to mention that for all they know, he could have had an invisible disability that required sitting at a table because counter seating for longer than 10 minutes, can be very rough on some invisible disabilities. I speak from personal experience.
As someone who has worked 12 hours shifts. Its a big deal, and if you're not a trustworthy partner no need to have one
The voice of reason, my sentiments exactly. I think all the commenters against OP have no clue to a long hard week of work, never mind a day.
I consider myself a sensible person, yet a promise is a promise. I am sorry for OP.
My mom is a nurse, she works 12 hours shifts, sometimes 19, sometimes more. She is on her feet all day, helping with major medical crises and moving patients.She is in emergency mode nearly the entire time, she must be on her toes. She drives 30 minutes to work and 30 minutes back.
Working at a hospital, even going through med school, is one of the hardest things one can do as you're responsible for the lives of others. It's mentally exhausting, emotionally exhausting and physically exhausting. My mother often pulls off on the side of the road to sleep in her car because she's too drained to make it home.
OP's partner worked from home, taking all this in, I'd say the partner is the idiot. They got to sit on their butt all day, and all they had to worry about was their job.
"I'll pass on the vacation. He needs his GUIDE dog. You also have no say in who I marry, dad. Give ONE VALID reason not to include the dog."
Let you get engaged Let him come to a family dinner I didn't realize you were 14 I thought you were grown adult Don't need mommy and Daddy's permission for anything
Yup! Very controlling parents! They'll expect OP to ask permission for everything even if OP were 60!
Very, very low contact is the way to go with those kind of parents!
Story 1: Absolutely despicable behavior. How amazingly ignorant. That dog is literally his eyes. They'd rather he be humiliated than allow a perfectly reasonable legitimate service animal. And wtf "let her" get engaged???
I don't get it. The parents don't want the dog, OP doesn't want to go then. What the problem?
@@MrBeevee5The parents are worried about the optics , how someone else’s disability affects them. They want OP to go on the trip but on their terms. OP refused and they’re still throwing a tantrum over it. The problem isn’t OP , they’re fiancé or the services dog, it’s the two geriatric toddlers .
Resident/missing dinner story: so they had time to fix or order something, but gaming took all their attention? C'mon, even with a partner with a regular job this would've been discourteous. Then to text him while he's out to pick up something? I'd start taking note of other actions/inactions and see what kind of pattern forms.
For real, that's just common decency in a relationship, he's hardly home, so you'd think it would stick out in their partners mind to be a little attentive. And folks don't seem to realize that sometimes you don't have a choice as to where you do your residency, so an hour & a half commute can be pretty common. Really, any position in the medical field can be very overwhelming. Yeah, it's a choice, but until someone's lived it, you don't really grasp just how much work and how unforgiving it actually is. (That's without the hoard of horrible patients and the even worse in-office politics.)
Hopefully you stay alone because you sound like you'd be a nut case to deal with
I agree, if your partner works a 24 hour shift, how hard is it to make dinner?
The video games don't matter. The long hours don't matter.
What matters is that the partner agreed then didnt do it.
And didn't even care
A good partner would not let OP get stuff (and demand some for themself) but would get it so OP could rest
OP is blinded by love
Thank you. I was also baffled by the YTA comment. If I say I will do something, it is my fault when I don't follow through. Why is this concept that hard?
Story 2: Barista here, firm NTA. Trust that we don’t care if you’re there 20 minutes or 12 hours, if you’re polite, respectful and don’t cause a major fuss then sit as long as you’d like. If OP is enough of a regular that the staff recognizes them, they’re going to be prioritized over two older women throwing a tantrum over a chair.
Also sorry if this bursts any boomer’s bubble, but young patrons and students are consistently the best customers. I’ve seen far worse behaviour (rude, impatient, screaming, cursing) from older people than kids just minding their business.
It really just comes down to they asked OP to move. They said no. That should have been the end of it. A staff member then backed up OP for the big reason of OP being there 1st. That's usually how it goes in a restaurant unless you have reservations.
@MrJpaynebb ap Boomer here. Coffee shops/cafes have their own etiquette that is different from a restaurant. People coming in to work and staying several hours is expected.
i would have assumed that if the cafe was that busy, or if the cafe didn't want loitering from people taking space, they would have posted somewhere near the door that there was a strict time limit of how long people could stay. no sign means stay as long as you want (reasonably). also, some people who study in the cafes probably order a few more times than just the initial order meaning that they would be better for business than just the come in order once and leave variety
The last commenter on the last story doesn’t get it: that is exactly what he wants, for stepmother to stop trying to force her way into being his mother. Don’t threaten OP with a good time!
Cafe story - OP is a regular customer who buys a regular meal and never makes trouble. She had been there for half an hour when the entitled others turned up.
Uncooked meal - OP needs a partner who cares about them. Their current partner is sponging off them so needs to be booted. Then OP can rent out their inherited home and use that money to rent a small flat handy for work. They might well make a small profit that can help pay off their debt.
Last story - stepmother was imposed on a small boy at the most vulnerable time and they wonder why he never accepted her as his mother? Boy oh boy. Some folks have zero empathy and I, for one, would go NC until they apologise.
Last story - Imposed?? Really? He had a woman who loved OP as her own and sacrificed for this 6 years old. Only to be slapped in the face when OP basically says only blood matters and she is nothing to them....
People like OP are why more and more people refuse to date/marry single parents - because no matter how great you are, chance is you will never be acknowledged and your effort and love will be wasted.
Story 3: NTA. God the YTA commebters are brain dead. The partner agreed to make dinner then just didn't. OP made a request and the partner agreed. OP didn't make some unreasonable demand. You know what's unreasonable? Texting a food order to soneone who didn't offer. And OP didn't ask if their lifestyle was sustainable so those commenters can stfu.
When you a seriously hangry snapping at someone is a given.
The Op is paying for that ah partner. He should leave them.
If they live rent free and can't even make one dinner then what are they doing to earn their keep
Story 2: OP is not the A-hole. She was there first. I have back and knee issues. I could sit at a counter and would if I needed to sit. I have taken up a 2 person table at a coffee shop when studying or finishing up paperwork for my job before turning it in before we went to online documentation.
If they were only eating and only needed 1/3 space to set down their pastry would you share the table with them and make new single serving friends? Yes you're working but most people are able to have a conversation and continue to work, it's called an office. Why would it suddenly be so difficult to carry on a conversation and do your work when you're in a public space at a communal seating location? Also anybody and everybody can ask something of you The determining factor is how they respond when you say no And Having to have somebody remove them from the store When they were told no is the actual problem Everybody should just accept no But at the same time I really think they could have shared and it would have been fine.
Yes thank you, I’ve worked at cafes before and would have no issue with a person taking up a 2 person table for a few hours each week. Do not under stand the people calling op the asshole
Besides unless that customer has also been there for those three hours, for all she knew OP had been there for 10 minutes!
So the time OP has been there is not relevant ..nor the thing that OP was doing would be relevant!
It's perfectly normal to 'claim' a 2 person's table for yourself..can someone show me how a one person table in a restaurant even looks like ?
A few of the places in my town are designed so you can't hang around specifically to do work, only specifically to just hang around.
Yes, it was rude of the two ladies to make assumptions by sitting down, but it's also rude to occupy table for hours and spend little to no money while doing work.
I agree with the ESH commenter.
@GeorgieB1965 when I used to do it, I kept buying things at intervals, so I wasn't just taking up space.
Story 1. Whole story is infuriating. Would they expect someone with a broken leg leave their needed crutches behind?
Most likely
@@memeking7273 they sound daft enough lol
@@brendacarter4968 do they care? They probably think they are exaggerating/ faking it.
I don't understand the first parents' thought process! 😕 How daft must you be to tell someone their seeing eye dog is not important for your vacation! Ableist completely! Top it all off to say he "allowed" her to get engaged to him as proof he wasn't? What? Misogynist & Ableist! I would run and block my number. See how much mom & dad enjoy their family times after that! ✌️
I think they are disgusting! And they're not even coming up with a reason for not wanting the Guide dog there.
If OPs mom or dad wear glasses due to older age I'd ask them to leave their visual supports at home so we can all be miserable on the trip. Same for brother and gf.
@apatik279 I was thinking the same thing if they wore eye glasses. How could they be so ignorant, if so. I completely agree with you.✌️
@@apatik279 And a service dog is generally even MORE necessary and takes even more hassle to get than glasses. Generally, that means there's a severe disability. I can still see without my glasses, though it's blurry as all get out, but to have a seeing eye dog, the fiancé probably can't see very well even with the best prescription.
NTA OP's partner should have been thoughtful enough to prepare the promised meal, but I'm definitely wondering why the partner was hungry only when OP went to get his own food. Did the partner not understand the irony? Partner was home for some time playing games, was asked to prepare food to save time for OP. Agreed to prepare food. "Forgot" to prepare food, yet is all of a sudden hungry when OP goes to get his own food? I'd certainly think that the partners hunger pangs while gaming would have reminded him.
Not necessarily. Some people are hardcore enough ignore a lot of bodily issues while gaming, as well "outside distractions".
Story 2: NTA. Spectacularly rude behavior. People who think they get to direct the world are trash, as is OP's roommate. You know how yiu know OP isn't the AH? The staff asked the witches to leave.
Story1: NTA. Even back in the 70s and 80s seeing-eye-dogs were widely accepted in most places. My father worked in federal law enforcement and had a secretary who was blind. Her seeing-eye-dog was always at her side and no one had a problem with it. If anyone ever had, my father would tell them to get bent. The parents not wanting the dog to come is like someone not wanting a hearing impaired person to wear their hearing aids and expecting them to only communicate via sign language when no one else coming is fluent in ASL.
Story 4: Stepmother needs to stfu and understand her place. She's not his mother. Period.
Op can do whatever the restaurant allows.
Seeing eye/guide dogs, wheelchairs, glasses, hearing aids, medical alert dog, canes, prosthetic arm/leg/eye are medical equipment and are required for someone’s ability for living. The mom and dad are ablest.
Last comment on the last story - maybe OP has the attitude with the stepmom because she and OP’s dad did what most stepparents do, especially when the bio parent has passed. They push, shove and attempt to strong arm the child into accepting them as a parent and demanding/insisting that they drop the step. They guilt them with “I’ve done, I’ve been apart of your life since …, why can’t you …. Then the child, like OP, when they are old enough slam the door shut on the overstepping behavior. Newsflash children do not have a responsibility to make a grown up feel better about their choices, children do not owe their parents for the cost/expense of raising them. It is OP and his fiancée’s wedding. They get to decide who comes and what happens at said event. People need to grow up and stop.
Her family tells her to shut up, calls her names, not to mention the abelism... I really think she should go low contact with these aholes
Cafe story: for all the newcomers knew she could have recently gotten there and ordered or was waiting for the line to die down before placing her order.
Final story: Last commenter needs to stay in their lane and not be so damn condescending. Every family therapist will warn against forcing a relationship with stepfamily because the more you force a child to treat you as a parent, the less chance there is of a relationship naturally forming. And now the stepmother has no one to blame but herself for being uninvited. I hope OP's dad thinks his wife is worth getting uninvited from his son's wedding.
The comment is oozing with judgement. "you do you boo boo" translation: I think your being a child , but also I don't wanna get into your family politics.
It sounds like stepmom has pushed this for so long that OP is tired of it.
"Let her"?
Oh, that IS something a bigot would say
More like a control freak would say
@nancyomalley6286 Bigots ARE control freaks. Trying to control the world around you simply because you don't like something about someone is classic bigot behavior
Story 1: I'm glad the responses mentioned the "let you get engaged to him" line bc wtf?!
Cafe story the cafe worker sided with you that's all we need to know NTA
Last: "Not your wedding, not your decision. You are not my mother. Bring it up again, and you will be uninvited."
Those anger issues are more likely caused by stress and exhaustion from being on hellish intern hours than new behavior. OP needs sleep, not a therapist.
Story 1: NTA, unless someone has a severe (like need to go to the hospital) allergy to the dog, there is no legitimate reason to exclude your fiancee's seeing eye dog. Your family needs to get used to it, there will be a seeing eye dog, or other aid around for the rest of your lives.
It is especially important that the dog be there, since you are going to an environment that your fiancee is not used to.
Story 1: You are NOT a horrible daughter. Your parents are pretty horrible themselves. Your mother and father need to learn what a service animal is. If they can't cope, you can't go on the family trip. Period. Story 2: NTA. Without having been there. Since OP is clearly a reliable customer that staff chose to support over Beatrice and Suzy told me enough. Not giving you space up to Beatrice and Suzy was nothing like not giving your seat on public transit to a disabled person. Story 3: You and your partner were both idiots. Partner knows that residency is tough and having said they'd make the meal, they suck for getting distracted. You were an idiot for ignoring their order. Glad you worked it out and will be renting your home out for the time being. Story 4: NTA. It's YOUR wedding. Stepmother needs to back off.
Coffee shop story you do realise that libraries are being closed down right so that's not always going to be an option for people now
Step mum sounds exhausting she spent life time bullying op bye
Story 2: the cafe sided with OP. End of story.
Cafe story- nta these other people commenting yta are completely wrong. It’s not surprising that students like to frequent these stores to study. Just because op was there for awhile doesn’t mean she has to move and the cafe agreed with her so definitely not the AH just those women who decided they had a right to take ops spot and try to strong arm her.
Story 2: NTA. OP was there first, in a place with finders keepers rules for the table. They even tolerated a random person sitting down at their table without asking. The people trying to push someone else out of a table they were first to are the assholes.
Story 4: NTA, you and your fiance didn't want to have those traditions, so everything they are saying in moot.
But her idiocy of pushing your boundaries (since you were a child), makes her a giant AH. Most children do not view step-parents as actual parents, even when there is a death. But it is possible (and likely) to develop a perfectly healthy and loving relationship with a step-parent and step-child, as long as both can accept each-other's boundaries.
Exactly. It sounds like that's exactly the reason they never had any kind of actual relationship. She sounds pushy and overbearing as all hell and the father sounds like a limp-wristed simp Like you mentioned, it wouldn't matter if they were as close as a "real" mother & son. If that's not something the couple wants, it shouldn't matter, it's not about them. I can't believe the amount of morons trying to Hallmark movie situations like these.
Exactly this, if she hadn’t pushed to be in a role she didn’t have all his life then maybe OP would have “thrown her a bone” so to speak, but the more you push a relationship on someone, the more that someone pulls away
She could’ve been “mom” if she’d not pushed it and let the relationship develop naturally, I’m not saying she would’ve, but it’s possible, however it’s her own fault things are the way they are with OP so resistant to her wants and wishes
All the comments are right on. Pushing to be accepted a certain way is NOT the way to go. Either natural bonding or let it go. This wedding isn't the first time she pushed the issue, I'm sure.
Maybe it's because I live in a city with a Uni, but there's students studying at tables at every Cafe. Getting a drink or two or a drink and breakfast while studying is the norm. It's not like people just sitting down to socialize and drink are leaving within 30 minutes. I myself sat studying in Starbucks and other local cafes often for an hour or two, and often times people around me who came before me were STILL THERE when I left. But maybe it's a European/German thing
Cafe story: Studying in cafes for hours is not uncommon. I wrote my thesis in a strabucks cafe. I would spend at least 4 hours a day in that cafe, and no one ever complained. OP is NTA.
Meal story: the partner is the idiot. They literally spend hours playing games on PC instead of making food for bith of them and then expected op to buy them food anyway. I hope they improve because honestly, residency is a difficult time for people to go through.
1st story- NTA. If OP's mother wants a vacation with just her children then the SO's wouldn't be going either.
Story 1: OP's parents are disgusting. And they didn't "let" her do anything, she's a grown woman. Since they're calling her names, guilt-tripping her, and telling her to "shut up", as well as being ableist pieces of cr@p, she should skip the trip and seriously consider going low or no-contact.
Missing dinner story. In my opinion the OP was right to be upset. They called their partner and partner said yes I can do that. If the partner was tired or said I just want to relax it doesn't sound like OP would have been upset. The question that said did you offer to get groceries, that is ridiculous if the partner knew they didn't have the ingredients they would have said or if they checked they could have called op.
Also they partner had so much time. OP says it takes like and hour + to get home then they had to wait another hour plus because of the accident so they had two or almost three hours. So you mean to tell me they had that much time and didn't once think about making or calling op to get food but open left and they now have time to stop and send in an order for their food.
Yes they need to communicate and I agree that the drive is way too much for OP, so they are making a good move. However OP was right to be mad that the partner forgot.
S1 - OP should ask if they need to borrow the dog in order to guide their heads out of their asses. OP NTA and don’t let them bully you with their deplorable ideas.
S2 - The employee tossed the two women out and not OP. The cafe made the decision. OP NTA.
You were there first and that’s why they asked for them to leave . You are obviously a regular customer and they are probably used to you being there .
Cafe - first come first served.
The not allowing the seeing eye dog on the trip… it’s isn’t rude it’s a federal crime
Story 4: OP's stepmother is an overstepping A-hole. Good stepmothers let the children decide what to call them. It leads to a better relationship. Trying to erase someone's Mom is never a good look.
And it wasn't a snub as no one would be getting a special dance. It's all about stepmom's feelings dontcha know...
Bullshit - people like OP is exactly why more and more people refuse to date/marry single parents. You sacrifice, love and look after this kid, only for the kid to turn around and say they don't care about you. The step-mom has been in OP's life for MORE than 12 fucking years and absolutely no recognition or empathy. All she wanted is ONE effort on OP's part to acknowledge the contribution made and OP couldn't be bothered.
Honestly would disown OP if I was the dad.....
So you live with a partner who works long horrible hours and can't fix them a meal every other day? .. and if u don't feel like it just order for the both of you.. I have to wonder if some of these people even like their partners.
You are sitting there having a meal and then chilling. If the staff asked you to leave then you should but the staff moved them on, so they were happy with you staying.
It would be just as ridiculous to demand brother's GF must wear a blindfold the whole trip...
story 1: Tell me both OP's parents are covert narcissist/enablers, without using any of those words. Lack of empathy (whatever the cause) and bigotry often go hand-in-hand.
Story #3: What's wrong with these brain dead idiots calling him a ahole?? His partner agreed to cook the food!! But when he goes to get himself something to eat, all of a sudden she remembers she's hungry too!! She can eat those mushrooms from Mario's!!
Agree and I doubt that relationship will last much longer
Here's the thing Katsu is an ear immediately meal, he should be texting with an ETA so they can have it ready. Id be sat waiting as a) Drs don't have set finish times (i.e just because shift finishes at 7 doesn't mean they leave at 7) and b) the commute is so long there is easily a 2hour window when the food needed to be ready for!
Ok OP brings her husband. Then she is asked to do something and leaves hubby alone. Maybe the parents think he's a faker. They will then get mad when they tell him to get up and move and he accidentally knocks something over because neither OP or his dog is there to help. Even with a cane doesn't mean he couldn't accidentally knock something over.
Who sends reminders about something agreed. Partner is not a child.
huh? what's wrong with comments on the doctor/home-cooked food situation? They said they were going to cook for them- if I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I don't get 'distracted' and 'forget'. UGH.
I'm sorry but your mom's happy meals missing the hamburger
I’m listening to this video in the background. I heard katsu as cat food and was like “what” lol
Pffff, that last comment XD I'm sure OP would love it if stepmom stopped "wasting her time" on them, since that's exactly what they've been asking for. I get that being a step parent, but some of them make it that way for themselves by pushing too much.
Story 1: mom how about you don't wear any clothes on the trip. We'll all just stand close to you so no one sees. It's only a couple days.
Story 1 I love stories were people side with there spouse when their family is being unreasonable/evil
Story2: NTA. Even in places where sitting at the same table as a stranger is considered normal, the people will generally ask before sitting down next to someone they don't know. I experienced this in Singapore. No one ever sat at the same table as me without asking first. It is very normal in the US for a single person to sit alone at a 2 person table. I prefer to sit in booths whenever possible because they are more comfortable. Also, am I getting it right that the person who stood in line for the coffee is the one who allegedly had back problems? If that person had back problems, why wasn't she sitting down while the other one was ordering coffee? Or did I get that wrong? To just plop down at someone else's table without asking first-- and furthermore with the intention to try to make the person who was there first leave-- is incredibly rude and entitled. If the coffee shop condones OP sitting there for a few hours and staff were willing to tell the other two women to leave, then I think we know where the coffee shop employees stand. OP is a regular customer. And OP is right that there is no "need" to go to a coffee shop like there is to use transportation. I don't blame OP for being annoyed that someone sat at the same table without asking. It's just plain rude to do that. Especially since OP figured out that they were going to try to take over the table. The fact that they then started badgering OP instead of accepting the "No" shows they were even more entitled and rude. I don't drink coffee and don't go to coffee shops, but if I were to do so I would never just sit down at a table with a stranger and I would never try to make that person leave. I'd either suck it up and sit at the bar or I'd take my drink to go. I will also mention that the fact that there were empty bar seats makes the two karens even worse because its not like there were zero available seats at all. They were selfish and entitled and tried to push OP out.
Story 3: huge NTA, and I'm sad that OP ended up forgiving their partner. Partner said they would make OP's favorite dish, then totally failed to follow through because they were playing video games, then totally failed to apologize and accused OP of being the unreasonable one instead, then expected OP to go to the extra effort of getting them fast food too even though they were the one to not provide first. That's too many bad decisions. I don't see OP having a good marriage.
My god, the comments are out of this world. No wonder our world is so f* up.
Story 3: So just to confirm, Op asks for their partner to cook them dinner, they say they will, then they don’t because they wanted to play video games…then they have the nerve to ask for Op to bring them food after…
No thats idiotic and Op is NTA
How do you spell ableism in the first story? because that word definitely reeks of.
Last story last comment didn’t they read op’s mum didn’t pass till op was 9 so for 3 years op had a mum just because stepmom was around doesn’t mean jack.
Coffee student story: ESH. The other customers were rude and entitled, you never walk up to an already occupied table and ask people to move. However, OP can't complain that other people sit around them and talk openly in a public space. If you want silence, go to the library. If you want privacy, stay home. But you can't complain in a cafe that people sit across from you. You're in public. Adjust expectations.
No one gets to sit at a 2-person table someone else alreday occupied, did you hit your head or something?
Last story- 2 adults plan and pay for their wedding! They decide what happens during that event. Having to tell a grown woman NO MULTIPLE TIMES about a dance is maddening! Talk about being pushy AND NEEDY AND WHINY. 😫…. Better not to have her there now since she didn’t get her way or MANY of your guest will have to hear her boo hoo tale of woe! The nerve of this woman!
Story 3-NTA.
Your mistake was being with a selfish ah
Agree Op partner is a parasite
Story 2.. Reddit is tripping.
Last story: these "step" stories are just cautionary tales to never be a step parent. I know some blended families actually work but overall it just appears to be a unreciprocated relationship.
Op not an idiot, his girlfriend is for not cooking when promised. Mom works hard but cooks for her sons
He doesn’t have a girlfriend
So he has a boyfriend then? Got it
Coffee House Story: Reluctant NTA. The barista making the others leave means OP is a valued customer. I will sit at a coffee place and do work for a couple of hours when they are slow but if a place is busy, I personally think it’s inconsiderate to take up a table like that. Although if there were 2 counter stools, the women should have taken them and left OP alone.
OP #3 is why I don’t go to Starbucks in my neighborhood anymore, people come in and sit for HOURS on their computers, they lost my business long time ago , and I’m not the only one. They buy a cup of coffee and spend the entire day .
24 hr shift....im confused, who are they,? Im confised?
I thought there was a limit (less than 24 hours) that a resident can be made to work, due to physand mental exhaustion. That's how mistakes are made in treating patients
Must be somewhere with lax labor laws.
Partner sounds like you do everything for me but I won’t do a thing for you run
After update they are with you a atm run
Story 3 - NTA tit for tat.
Story 1: NTA and op isn’t in the wrong .
Story 2: NTA
Story 3: NTA and op deserves a medal
Resident story: ESH. Partner is a jerk for not keeping their word but OP is petty for not getting food for them at the restaurant. Being petty is a poor choice for a relationship you want to last.
Nah, not getting food from OP is a natural consequence for not having kept their word and making dinner. Besides, it had been many hours since OP had eaten. They're both hangry and tired.
Really the person who broke their promise should have been getting the take out. It’s in children’s shows: saying I’m sorry is the first step, then how can I help. Partner should have said, I’m so sorry I forgot, let me pick up some take out. Partner could have avoided the whole thing by not making excuses and being defensive
Camping at tables is rude and inconsiderate to other diners and the establishment. A customer does not buy a table for hours just because they bought coffee and a croissant. Tables are meant to turn in order to accommodate the flow of business.
1) I am so sorry for OP to have such ignorant and inconsiderate parents. WTH, it's his guide dog, of course he is going to have his dog with him. No, mom she doesn't respect that. Good for OP for standing up for her fiance. OP's parents suck so much, it is sad OP has to ask if she is in the wrong. OP NTA and needs to stand firm on this and not go to spend time with awful parents.
2) OP was taking up space long after finishing breakfast, taking up two spaces for hours in a busy cafe and therefore not allowing other customers to have a comfortable place to sit and eat. These other people were extremely rude and entitled to think they could demand another customer to move from the table they were occupying. ESH, but mostly the women who were asked to leave for bothering OP.
3) It is sad OP was anticipating to have food waiting when they finally got home as they had been given to expect so I can't blame them for being upset. I think the job, extended absence, and overly long commute is going to kill their relationship or OP and something needs to change if that is not going to happen. ESH.
After update: It's good OP realized how their current life is not sustainable as is and they discussed a plan for necessary changes to make it work better for them both.
4) It is sad OP kept this woman who was acting as his mother at a distance and still has so little regard for her, but he has a right to his feelings and making his own choices. it is not right to try and pressure OP to do something at his wedding that he does not want. She can express her desire, but after being told no, that should have been the end of it. OP NTA.
Story3: ESH. I get that OP was stressed and tired and the partner was a douchecanoe to just "forget" and have OP come home to find no food and be hungry. Now, mind you, I have no problem with OP for going and getting food for himself but not for the partner. Would have been more petty to say "I forgot this little thing". Where I think OP neared AH territory was calling to the partner as if the partner wasa dog or a child and then berating the partner as if they were a child instead of an equal. I do get OP was exhausted so I do understand why he did it, but it was still not good behavior. I know how frustrating it is when you ask someone to do something, they agree to do it, and then don't. It happens to me all the time. I don't go chew the other person out over it though. Partially bc I know it won't accomplish anything to do so. OP really needs to talk to the partner on an equal level about expectations and so forth. And OP should have perhaps sent a reminder or message to say "Hey, there was a bad traffic accident, are you still making dinner?" or something to remind the person. I say this bc I have had terrible memory ever since perimenopause started so I get both povs-- it can be easy to get distracted and forget things. But the partner was a douchecanoe to expect OP to get them something to eat after they said they would cook and then forgot.
WOW, may I never end up being a stepmother. That poor woman taking care of this person for most of his / her life and not even ONE DANCE. That is incredibly selfish and self-centered.
First
OP: "I think a lot of people say they have back issues or some other mild condition just to get what they want."
Capt. Obvious: You mean exactly the way you just did, OP? Hmm?
Yeah. Op was there first but there's a lot of pot calling the kettle black there.
It doesn't matter. Would YOU sit at someone else's table? That's just fking rude!
What? Op didn’t strut into a coffee shop demanding a seat. They can seat there for whatever reason.
@@LoveK1 No, she took a table for two as opposed to a seat for one. Why? A mild condition?
NTA, ESH, ESH, NTA.
If these people to coffee shop make tips then her occupying a table for 3 hours they just lost six or seven other customers that could have been placing tips she wants to stay that long she needs to go to a damn library
Idk about you or your country but in the countries _I_ have been or lived in, and that's four across the globe, coffee shops have the tip jar on the counter because it is NOT a sit down restaurant where you're expected to sit at a table and order from there and stay there the whole time and then tip AT the table. Coffee shops are walk in, order, get your drink, and sit down or leave as you wish. Again, tip jars are on the counter and given when you order your food. THAT IS, if the coffee shops even HAVE or EXPECT tips, in the country I CURRENTLY live in, tipping isn't a thing and neither is tip jars on coffee counters. So again, not a restaurant, doesn't affect other patrons buying or tipping items. Stop trying to fish for something on OP when he was completely justified.
@@impishrebel5969Live in the US. And yeah, a lot of places do have tip jars and or just give you a tipping option if you're using a card.
Really what op does only becomes an issue if it is a place with regular wait staff and such. Doubtful that's the case for a coffee shop
@@impishrebel5969Right! In the US it’s uncommon for coffee shops to have waiter that need to be tips. You buy your coffee at the register and sit down yourself.
Working at the Cafe table.. need the ambient noise? There are RECORDINGS of all sorts of ambient sounds that you can play anywhere...
Last story about the wedding: when OP was a child, he was ok with stepmom cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing his laundry, driving him places, etc., but he can't give her a special dance? He said he never saw her as a mom, but he was willing to benefit from her labor. Then he dis-invites them when he didn't tell them the potential consequences if they continued to ask for a dance. He is a user.
He didn't pick her to cook and clean for him. His father did. OP was just along for the ride. ,
@ivymerritt7577 he still benefited from her doing all the domestic labor.
Tell me you're an entitled stepparent without telling me you're an entitled stepparent!
@@nancyomalley6286wrong. I am 62 and never married or was not in a relationship with a man who had children.
@patriciaoconnor402 Then let's keep it that way
Table story-YTA.
People are there to eat, this isnt a library for you to study
You also took a 2 person table.
Dont be a rude ah
Story 2: ESH, you where taking up a 4 person plus table by yourself? WTF were you thinking? But they also suck, for not having the staff handle you, instead of handling it themselves.
if op was the idiot, why did the staff not asj her to leave, rather than the other two women. coffee shops are notorious for college students spending hours studying there, plus the business isnt losing any money with op being there. youre just as entitled as those two women
The OP was not BUY herself. But she was at the table by herself. So she had the right to the table.
She was using a *2 Person Table*, not a 4 person table. That's the smallest type of table she could use in most of these coffee shops
Story 3: YTA, you could have called and reminded them, or let them know you were running late. It is not your partner's job to be your slave.
so slavery to you is "hey honey, can you make me a meal? thank you."
you must be really sheltered then. you can't just promise something and then not do it.
If you think that what being a slave is then you’re lost.
She was at work....
The partner had AGREED to make dinner. They knew that OP was going to be there after a super long shift and they should have cared enough to make dinner ahead of time. Besides, even if OP was an hour later than planned, the partner could have made something and then heated it up once OP got home. But no, video games are more important.