my mom tried something very similar when she tried to force blend her new family. my dad had full custody and she got every us on weekends, me one week end and my bro the other. On our weekend, she ALWAYS brought my step sister. When i asked her why we couldnt spend time together, just the two of us, she would guilt me about not liking my step sis. Bro got dumped on step dad and his son for "guy time"
It's far easier for a baby and toddler to bond with a new step-parent than a 10 and 11yr old. Only the dad and Sadie are surprised their plan didn't work. Everyone else including the grandparents told him it was a terrible idea.
Hijab story: The poster has a bad friend. While I am not Muslim, I have often told my friends that I don't mind them taking pics, I have always asked them to please not share them on social media. They have always honored my request.
Yeah. I've seen the damage done from socialized media early on, so any pics that I take of the family, stay on my phone. If I want to post any of them, I ask for permission to do so. And I respect the answer given.
The type of idiot that my best friend's ex is. Bonus points, she wanted him to pay for rent for her AND the guy she cheated on him with. Wanted him to completely financially support her, the affair partner, the kids she had with the affair partner, and still pay for her phone, her car, and food. She acted like he was the worst person in the world when he cut off her phone plan and stopped paying her car note bc he had someone else's baby while engaged to him. Some people really are stupid and entitled. She'd still be mooching off of him now if she wasn't in prison. Although, she calls him every day and begs him to bail her out. He's been court ordered to have to accept her calls bc he's got custody of one of her kids and she pretends she's calling to talk to the kid-- who is nonverbal and can't talk to her.
@@catsmeow5566 if the kids non verbal, then here’s what you tell your friend to do, every time she calls, and prison calls are recorded, just have him say “I have no desire to talk to you, as I’m legally obligated I’m passing you to X” then have him put his phone face down on a pillow on mic mute 😂
She legally has to in most states. An engagement ring is based on a contract. It is not a gift. If that contract is not fulfilled the ring must return to the man.
In *almost* every state legally the ring has to go back if the wedding is not competed. And in my opinion, morally an engagement ring is a promise of marriage and should go back if the engagement is cancelled.
That's not how it works. The ring is a gift to show your intentions and a show of your love. when you take it back it means it was no longer a gift and you were just trying to bribe them. what's even funnier, is engagement rings are just a gimmick, haven't been around for long in the grand scheme of things and are the biggest Con ever.
@@blindbrad4719 What the heck are you on about? Maybe try googling the nonsense you're spouting. Engagement rings have been a thing for over 1000 years since AT LEAST the Roman empire! And the majority of states consider engagement rings a conditional gift that condition being marriage. If the marriage doesn't happen the ring is to be returned. If he'd taken her to court for it they would have given it back to him. ESPECIALLY SINCE SHES THE ONE WHO CALLED IT OFF! Only exception is if the ring is an heirloom on the woman's side, the man can't take a ring that never belonged to him.
@@blindbrad4719actually, that is how it works in a court of law. Most gifts are the property of the recipient, but an engagement ring from a cancelled engagement is the property of the giver and should be returned.
Depends on the location. In some countries/states an engagement ring is a gift. In others it is a contract item which, like heirlooms, must be returned to the giver/previous owner if the conditions it was given for (in the case of an engagement ring, marriage) cannot be attained. Unless that person wishes otherwise.
Hijab story, the friend shouldn't have ever posted the photo (should've asked OP first, given she is Muslim and she wasn't wearing her hijab at that moment, which the friend should know the importance of if they've been friends long enough), and she should've taken it down when first asked. When that happens, you take it down; it's common courtesy.
Story 1: Man i don’t get people like Op’s “dad” Like “hey let me completely ignore my children in favor of my stepchildren…then get back in touch with them only when I need something” NTA man those poor kids, at least they have each other
Story 4- While his ask is reasonable considering he's paying for the majority of the vacation what pushes him into the AH category is the fact he didnt ask her if she'd be up to doing this at the time of planning the vacay so she make an informed decision on whether she wanted to go or not. Kind of like he just expected her to comply.
Story2: NTA. An engagement ring is a conditional gift in contemplation of marriage. It is contractual. If she called off the wedding/refused to marry him then she doesn't get to keep the ring. If he'd sued her for it he would get to keep the ring. Also, she dumped him so why should he continue to let her live with him? She's almost as entitled as my best friend's ex. OP's ex calls him insensitive bc they've been together for so long but she's the one who ended the relationship without ever trying to talk it out with him or telling him that she would dump him if things didn't change. My friend's ex pulled the same crap that if he ever cared about her he wouldn't kick her out. He wouldn't refuse to pay for her car, her phone, and wouldn't refuse to pay for rent for her and her affair partner while also financially supporting the kids she had with other guys. he's stuck with her first kid bc she's in prison now.
I'm not religious but I've made it clear that I do not want photo posted online of me, unless told otherwise specifically. OPs "friend" has know her since they were kids, she darn well knows why those photos should not be posted. I'd report this photo and break this friendship off, not much that can be saved here
It's also not allowed on most social media platforms. A lot of them have it in the TOS not to post images/footage of others without their consent and have specific methods in place for reporting posts that break those terms. It's even written into laws in a lot of places. (but that depends on where they live)
Yeah it was so weird, she cheats on him and she thinks he's the one who has to make up for it to her and also make her a stay at home girlfriend. It would make more sense if she was a trophy girlfriend and he was some old rich geezer.
S1: OP should have used his father's words against him. "You told us our stepkids would have to depend on you and we would have to depend on Sadie. Sucks to be you now when you're being hit with expensive medical costs."
She cheated, complains about how he communicates and now wants to quit her job so OP has to care for her financially while she bums around. "She's not talented" "...flounders..." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Kick the waste of space out of your house!
I'm breaking up with you because i hate your job! What do you mean i have to leave? Why do I have to give the engagement ring back? I... I thought I i could stay and we'd still be friends with benefits and I'd eventually nag you until you caved and quit your job! Then id know i could control you. Hijab: You know someone is taking pictures. After that you think only people in group see it. But you can never be certain who see it. She should have taken it down when requested but it is on you for trusting she understood. All those pervious pictures you assume were only in a private Instagram. You have no way to know that she hasn't shown them off to other people. Male or female. Last story is laughable. She cheated on him and now wants to try the stay at home gf route. There was another story where the gf didn't chest but wanted to be a stay at home gf. This girl wants to be a SAHGF so she will have more time to cheat on OP. He pays the bills she lives rent free, barely does chores and while OP is at work bring the dude she cheated with in and have sexy time with him.
Story 2: He needs to check the laws where he lives. In some places an engagement ring is considered a gift and property of the person it was given to. In others it is a contract item that should be returned if there is no marriage. As for the home, she might have to be evicted legally depending on how long she has lived there, whether she is signed in as occupant for official mail etc. Even bills she might've paid that can be attached to that address (electric/gas/water, internet, streaming services, mortgage, taxes) can be legal proof for her to claim rights in some places and make removal more difficult. TBH though, sounds like she is a gold-digger. She was either trying to get her way and make him take a different job to cater to her whims or be given a free pass to sleep around while keeping the comforts and benefits of a provider and keeping what I assume to be an expensive piece of jewelry until she finds a richer mine to delve into, with better benefits.
@MrHelicx no he doesn't. He straight up just abandoned his kids to his new wife. You foster relationships by including everyone and spending equal time with all the kids, not just the two stepkids.
@@MrHelicx He had a plan to foster relationships. Relationships involve feelings. He however disregarded 1/3 of peoples feelings in this plan. His plan was dead on arrival, and he still tried to force it.
The engagement story- OMG Yea No When you propose marriage the ring is the seal of agreement that both parties will get married. If the engagement is off and relationship ends, both parties MUST separate and ring is returned. THE END
Story1: NTA. St Judes is a thing. OP's dad could set up a gofundme instead of asking for $ from offspring he tossed aside once he had his shiny new family. The dad was a dick to OP & sister AND to the 2nd wife. He set her up for failure and tried to make her responsible for his kids when they didn't want to deal with her. He should have continued to parent his own kids and let her parent her own kids. Then he's all shocked pikachu face that OP and his sister didn't give a crap about the kids he ignored them for. I do feel for the sick kid, but it's not on OP to financially support a step-sibling.
story 4 your not the idiot here you’re father if you go on the family holiday you will be forced to do all the free babysitting so the other couples can go out it’s probably the only reason why he wants you to go tell your father he pays a babysitter to go on the holiday so you’re not stuck with all the babysitting or you won’t go it sounds like this is a holiday for them and you’re not included 😡😡😡🤬🏝️😤😤🤯
No one cares but/about you!!? Whoever said that no one cares should not be your friends anymore because if they truly were your friends they would've never posted any of this on social media knowing your religious values! So you know who to kick out of this friendship and never speak to you ever again obviously! Show your parents this I hope they don't disown you😮
hijab story! Sad to say that you shouldn't have exposed your hair to non-believers of your religion based on the evidence of what happened afterwards… I'm so sorry this happened to you! You deserve so much better than these ignorant people discrediting you and posting it on Facebook or wherever they posted it! I'm a agnostic. and I believe that everyone should be able to have their own beliefs UPHELD! 😮😢!! You are 100% not a bad person for holding your beliefs I would sue them honestly for defamation of character & religious beliefs!! 😢😢😢
If it were me, I'd probably decline going if I thought I was going to get stuck babysitting, even if the dad paid for the hotel. Especially if I got stuck with it last time.
Photo story: NTA, look, friends don’t disrespect other friends religious beliefs I’m an atheist man who grew up Christian, and I disagree with a lot of what Islam requires of women, however it is those women freedom of religion (in the west) to choose to follow these customs and beliefs, and I’d NEVER insist on violating those beliefs or customs for a dumb photo I think the only exception for me personally is like, maybe if a Muslim woman needs CPR and I’m the only one who could provide it, then I’d give CPR, but outside of extreme and wild cases of life saving intervention, you should never disrespect another’s religious beliefs no matter what you personally think of them
Story 1 NTA: just a theory, it sounds like Sadie didn't want OP and their sibling, so she convinced Dad to this ridiculous arrangement, knowing they would reject her and then Dad like an idiot sided with his stepkids. OP and her sister need to be careful next dear old dad will be asking them to get tested to see if they can be donors for his stepson.
I feel like it’s common sense to not post pictures of people who wear hijab. To say it’s no big deal and that OP should have known better is dismissive of her feelings and religious beliefs. They were friends. If it was anyone else, they would have never suspected their friend of doing this to them.
Said I would have sent you well it can't mean that much to you cuz you don't want to marry me. Say you broke the engagement you Get back to ring those are the rules period and no we're not getting married so you're not going to live here period the entitlement this one is just beyond belief. If you still love me you would let me use you.
Last story: YTA to yourself for staying with a cheater. Sounds like my best friend. He allowed himself to be cucked so many times and didn't end the relationships. He didn't want "to be the bad guy". His last ex quit her job, slept with at least 7 different complete losers, got knocked up by one of them, guilt-tripped him into taking responsibility for the first kid. Continued to cheat on him and he kicked her out briefly but she lied & claimed she was pregnant so he took her back but when he wanted to kick her out again (she was still cheating) she deliberately got pregnant from another loser and bc she lied about having "lost" the key to his house, snuck back in while he was sleeping & had sex with him, she claimed the baby was his and he took care of her up until a week or two after she gave birth and the paternity test came back showing it wasn't his (and it looked just like the loser she cheated on him with). She never stopped cheating. Never stopped manipulating him. Never stopped abusing him. Fortunately he's now married to someone awesome and the ex is in prison for child abuse.
She wants her cake and eat it too ! B/S !!!! You were supposed to bend to her will but didn't get the program ! She wanted to stay until you eventually folded !!!!
1-NTA He's still gaslighting you because of the stepson. 2-ESH She needs to give the ring back since she broke it off. She should also move out. Your communication sucks! 3-YTA. You should have spelled out all the details beforehand and not drop it on everyone after the plans have been finalized. Your daughter is right to be angry about this. 4-NTA She is not your friend. Walk away from the wedding too. I understand where the ESH commenter is coming from but op still has the right to request the photo's being taken down. Unfortunately for op, once on the internet, forever on the internet. 5-YTA for staying with the cheater. You lost me when you said "I'm not trying to sound arrogant...", YOU DO! It's irrelevant what the other guy has or doesn't have going for him. It's about your gf cheating. Dump her ass and move on, PERIOD!
Swanhe ted the benefits of your work (bills taken care of, taken care of, housing, food, etc) but wanted to no longer get married. She wanted you to do ALL the compromising, and basically beg for her to stay and bend to HER will. NTA. She is an idiot.
I love those that use the term "sloppy seconds", like they've got the moral high ground that they are a virgin. It clearly shows a sense of superiority, misogyny and sexism.
Sloppy seconds doesn't refer to being with someone who has prior sexual experience. It refers to being intimate with someone who has recently been with someone else. It implies certain fluids are still present making it "sloppy" instead of clean. Like with a cheater who is intimate with someone else and comes home and it intimate with their SO (the thought of it grosses me out). The term was used correctly. Now if we could just get people to stop misusing "raw-dogging".
@@serialgunner6055 wasn't disputing that fact. Didn't bring that into the conversation at all in fact. I was just commenting on the way men have a Punch on for humiliating women for doing the same thing they do. not showing great reading comprehension there are you
@@Shazjgus you'll have no problem telling me how soon after she cheated that he had sex with her then. on top of that, it grosses you out? You scared of getting pregnant…
The last story, I can see why she cheated on him. Self centered much. He doesn’t care about her at all that’s why she found someone that was with her emotionally. She should have left instead of cheated though
Gold digger story. Keep the ring and still live in your house? Golddigger! You have done nothing wrong! Did she pay for anything? Probably not?gold digger. I'm glad you got the ring back and I would just pack up the rest of her stuff and send her to your parents house!🎉🎉🎉
They weren't asked in advance though, so it effectively isn't a gift anymore, but a transaction that was sprung on them without consent. While it is still very generous if it were offered outright, in terms of costs saved, the breach of trust is capable of swaying feelings heavily in the negative and souring what was meant to be a fun time away entirely for someone involved, vastly outweighing or completely negating any benefit in the arrangement. I've cut people from my life for doing that exact thing. "Here, have something nice. Now do something you don't want to, don't you remember I gave you something nice earlier? You OWE me." Personally though this situation is too mild and set in ignorance, not malice. So while I wouldn't go for cutting off anyone, it does call for a good long talk about boundaries and consent, followed by potentially a compromise. I firmly believe the one who helped out when she was a teenager deserves to at most sit this one out to even the 'score' between the adult siblings, or at the very least she does only a lesser share of the helping out that she is willing to accept. Something that seems like it's not a chore.
@@Eppon6Tbh I think is a new culture thing, which is why this generation is so lonely. It is a family vacation, and unless you pay for yourself, there will always be an expectation that you will be helping the family in some sort of want. To be honest this generation is over the top. Expecting independence whilst being on someone else dime is stupid. If she doesn't want to babysit she can not go or pay for the vacation herself, she is above the age of 18. He not asking for much, 2 evenings out of the 10-day trip. Being part of a family means helping out so that the burden is not all on one person's shoulders. He paid for her and her bf for godsakes. Instead of just taking, she should be thinking about how can she contribute, as she couldn't contribute financially. If these were my kids and they told me to get an nanny, instead of making them babysit. I would be deducting the babysitter's wages and board from the amount I contributed to their portion of the vacation cost, and they would need to make up the rest of the money to attend.
He's the AH because he didn't ask her or let her know about this from the get-go so she could make the decision of whether she wanted to go or not. You don't slide that in last minute after everything is bought and booked
@MrHelicx I'm not saying she should get everything for nothing. What I'm saying is he should have discussed this with her when he asked if she wanted to go that way she could have made an informed decision on whether she said yes or not. It's not the request that's the AH move it's WHEN he told/asked her.
@@MrHelicx I invite you over for dinner and cake! And when you show up, you're not allowed to leave until you spend 8 hours cleaning my house. How entitled of you to expect dinner and cake for free!
Wow, last story the OP is the jerk. And so is the gf for cheating, but she needs to leave his toxic "I'm the best" mindset. She cheated because someone else treated her well. She needs confidence to leave OP, as she'll never be happy with him. He just needs a mirror to be happy.
Rings are given as a gift of love with the expectation of marriage down the line, operative word being gift, otherwise you're just trying to bribe her. She could definitely move out
It is a conditional gift based on the promise to get married. She called off the engagement so the conditions were not met, legally and morally he gets the ring. I say morally because she would be stealing thousands of dollars from him should she keep it.
@@pantsonparade actually not legally, courts of law except that gifts are given and can be kept. that's the problem with using a system that is an unwritten rule, you want conditions, get them down on paper then.
@@blindbrad4719 In most states, an engagement ring is considered a conditional gift. If the engagement is broken, the ring is usually returned to the donor. Look it up.
Engagement ring story: going with ESH. It sounds like she tried to make it very clear that your schedules were a problem, and you just kept brushing it off. That said her expectations after ending the engagement, are insane.
He made it very clear he wasn’t going to change his job though. Which was before they were engaged. She had the chance to say no to his proposal. Hoping that you can change your partner although they don’t want it and tell you so is just wrong. It doesn’t matter if we talk about jobs or kids. If she doesn’t like his job schedule they aren’t compatible. It looks he he assumed that her acceptance of the proposal meant she accepted his lifestyle. Apparently she didn’t make it very clear his job is still bugging her. Also it makes sense for him to stay in his family business.
@@Falco2Itachi my point stands. If you can barely eek out 20 hours a week to see/interact with your partner, then that relationship is basically doomed from the get go. I'm bashing OP because it's pretty clear that he never understood that, and he sounds very much "in this family's pocket" which is also not great for a relationship.
Highjab story-YTA. You saw her taking photos and you took it off knowing you would be in the photos. You saw her take the photos and said and did nothing . People lack common sense now a days, if you don't want pictures taken then say no right a way or cover yourself
The Ex-Fiancee story: ESH. If she was as miserable as she said, she should leave. The situation with him was never going to get better. His job means more to him than she does. He's just not marriage material. That said, leaving someone means leaving and not being around them anymore. She was foolish to think otherwise. If she didn't want to be homeless, she should have found accommodations elsewhere before she broke up with him. If she was trying to manipulate him, then she isn't marriage material either.
It's very obvious that most of the people commenting on this story have never run a business. It's not a JOB like he can just go to Olive Garden and wait tables instead. It's a family restaurant that he will likely take over or inherit. And he's supposed to throw that away for a woman who knew his schedule when she said yes to the proposal? Nope. The only AH here is the spoiled brat who wanted to make a ton of unreasonable demands. He obviously loves running a restaurant with his parents and he is definitely better off without that flake.
@@cyndib511I agree with you. OP just needs a partner with a similar schedule (working evenings) or someone who is willing to work for the family restaurant. Problem solved.
@Falco2Itachi Exactly. He should have paid attention when she complained that he was spending too much time at work and realized they're not compatible.
Story 4: YTA. Dress as you like but it's entirely unreasonable to expect people to cater to you. Next time don't uncover if pictures are being taken. It's not like they pressured you to uncover then posted the pictures.
If the restrictions imposed upon you by your flavor of superstition is that damned important to you, then it's up to you to police your attire and behavior. Nobody else is responsible for enforcing your adherence to whatever religious fetter you force yourself to obey. If it's not Muslims demanding I dress or behave a certain way, it's Christians and if it's not Christians, it's Jewish people. I'm not responsible for your absurd religious observances and when you force other people to observe your religious restrictions, you're not asking for my respect, you're demanding my obedience. You knew pictures were being taken. You know you didn't have control over who saw them or will see them. You sound like one of those exhausting religious fundamentalists who put themselves in these situations in order to let everyone know how very pious and observant you are and then act all butthurt when everyone else refuses to go out of their way to respect your piety. Give it a rest. Your religious idiocy is your own, not anyone else's.
Look, I'm the first person to point out when religious fundamentalist are being entitled and unreasonable. This isn't that. If someone doesn't want photos of themselves posted to social media without their consent, it doesn't matter if the reason is so that their creepy ex-boyfriend can't stalk them as easily, or so that no men can see their hair. If you care about the person, respecting basic boundaries is not a big deal, including over circulation of their image. The reasoning behind those boundaries doesn't matter. If someone tells me they don't eat pork, I don't care if they don't eat it because of an ethical stance against factory farming, or a meat allergy, or because God says it's dirty, or because they just don't like the taste; I don't feed them pork. If the boundary is reasonable, it doesn't matter that the justification is religious. And in this case, the boundary is reasonable.
@@draughtoflethe Shed KNEW that pictures were being taken. She could have put on her head covering and did not. It's not the same as feeding somebody pork. It's a very reasonable boundary to not want your photos posted online. But she crossed the boundary by allowing herself to be photographed, not her friend.
@margarethorrall8621 In the past, photos that were taken had only been shared privately among the attendees via a group chat. It was reasonable to expect the same would be true here. Consent to having your photo taken is not the same as consent to having your photo shared on social media. It's similar to how some parents don't mind family members taking photos of their young child, but don't want those photos plastered all over Facebook. It's the same premise that lets revenge p*rn laws exist: consent to one thing (having your photo taken) does not imply consent to another thing (having that photo publicly shared on the internet). Moreover and perhaps more importantly, these people are supposed to be OP's friends, who should know her boundaries and respect her wishes more than the average stranger. Given past behavior, they were fully capable of keeping those photos as private memories within the group of girls who participated. No one was losing money by not posting them. Why spring this change on her when they knew it was against her wishes?
1st story, these are the same ppl that wanted to appeal obamacare without health insurance. op just seems like a idoit. Bonding time with the new parent is abandonment now.
Story 1: NTA. Guy pushed his actual kids away in favor of his new piece and her kids, and then demanded support from his bio kids for said stepspawn.
my mom tried something very similar when she tried to force blend her new family. my dad had full custody and she got every us on weekends, me one week end and my bro the other. On our weekend, she ALWAYS brought my step sister. When i asked her why we couldnt spend time together, just the two of us, she would guilt me about not liking my step sis. Bro got dumped on step dad and his son for "guy time"
It's far easier for a baby and toddler to bond with a new step-parent than a 10 and 11yr old. Only the dad and Sadie are surprised their plan didn't work. Everyone else including the grandparents told him it was a terrible idea.
Hijab story: The poster has a bad friend. While I am not Muslim, I have often told my friends that I don't mind them taking pics, I have always asked them to please not share them on social media. They have always honored my request.
Hijab or not people should respect that some people don't want their pictures all over social media
Yeah. I've seen the damage done from socialized media early on, so any pics that I take of the family, stay on my phone. If I want to post any of them, I ask for permission to do so. And I respect the answer given.
What kind of idiot expects to keep the benefits of being in the relationship when you’re not in a relationship anymore?
Female privilege.
a woman.
The type of idiot that my best friend's ex is. Bonus points, she wanted him to pay for rent for her AND the guy she cheated on him with. Wanted him to completely financially support her, the affair partner, the kids she had with the affair partner, and still pay for her phone, her car, and food. She acted like he was the worst person in the world when he cut off her phone plan and stopped paying her car note bc he had someone else's baby while engaged to him. Some people really are stupid and entitled. She'd still be mooching off of him now if she wasn't in prison. Although, she calls him every day and begs him to bail her out. He's been court ordered to have to accept her calls bc he's got custody of one of her kids and she pretends she's calling to talk to the kid-- who is nonverbal and can't talk to her.
A 304.
@@catsmeow5566 if the kids non verbal, then here’s what you tell your friend to do, every time she calls, and prison calls are recorded, just have him say “I have no desire to talk to you, as I’m legally obligated I’m passing you to X” then have him put his phone face down on a pillow on mic mute 😂
Engagement ring story: OP this is coming from a woman. You are NTA. She broke up with you. She should move out and give the ring back.
Exactly. No marriage, no ring, no freeloading.
She legally has to in most states. An engagement ring is based on a contract. It is not a gift. If that contract is not fulfilled the ring must return to the man.
Legally, she has to return the ring.
She sounds greedy
In *almost* every state legally the ring has to go back if the wedding is not competed. And in my opinion, morally an engagement ring is a promise of marriage and should go back if the engagement is cancelled.
S2 - Regarding the ring, OP was definitely legally correct. The ring belongs to him. She is the one that broke the contract.
That's not how it works. The ring is a gift to show your intentions and a show of your love. when you take it back it means it was no longer a gift and you were just trying to bribe them. what's even funnier, is engagement rings are just a gimmick, haven't been around for long in the grand scheme of things and are the biggest Con ever.
@@blindbrad4719a conditional gift. That condition being marriage. No marriage, no ring.
@@blindbrad4719 What the heck are you on about? Maybe try googling the nonsense you're spouting. Engagement rings have been a thing for over 1000 years since AT LEAST the Roman empire! And the majority of states consider engagement rings a conditional gift that condition being marriage. If the marriage doesn't happen the ring is to be returned. If he'd taken her to court for it they would have given it back to him. ESPECIALLY SINCE SHES THE ONE WHO CALLED IT OFF! Only exception is if the ring is an heirloom on the woman's side, the man can't take a ring that never belonged to him.
@@blindbrad4719actually, that is how it works in a court of law. Most gifts are the property of the recipient, but an engagement ring from a cancelled engagement is the property of the giver and should be returned.
Depends on the location. In some countries/states an engagement ring is a gift. In others it is a contract item which, like heirlooms, must be returned to the giver/previous owner if the conditions it was given for (in the case of an engagement ring, marriage) cannot be attained. Unless that person wishes otherwise.
Story 2: NTA. "I just expected you'd change." Damn no.
1 - NTA. Your dad is projecting. He wanted another family before he even married Sadie and threw you and your sister away. He sucks.
She thought she could dump him and continue living there plus keep the ring😂😂😂😂😂 she's super simple.
Hijab story, the friend shouldn't have ever posted the photo (should've asked OP first, given she is Muslim and she wasn't wearing her hijab at that moment, which the friend should know the importance of if they've been friends long enough), and she should've taken it down when first asked. When that happens, you take it down; it's common courtesy.
Story 1: Man i don’t get people like Op’s “dad”
Like “hey let me completely ignore my children in favor of my stepchildren…then get back in touch with them only when I need something”
NTA man those poor kids, at least they have each other
7:26 i seriously wanted XO snickers because this story absolutely deserved them for that delulu woman.
Story 4- While his ask is reasonable considering he's paying for the majority of the vacation what pushes him into the AH category is the fact he didnt ask her if she'd be up to doing this at the time of planning the vacay so she make an informed decision on whether she wanted to go or not. Kind of like he just expected her to comply.
Story2: NTA. An engagement ring is a conditional gift in contemplation of marriage. It is contractual. If she called off the wedding/refused to marry him then she doesn't get to keep the ring. If he'd sued her for it he would get to keep the ring. Also, she dumped him so why should he continue to let her live with him? She's almost as entitled as my best friend's ex. OP's ex calls him insensitive bc they've been together for so long but she's the one who ended the relationship without ever trying to talk it out with him or telling him that she would dump him if things didn't change. My friend's ex pulled the same crap that if he ever cared about her he wouldn't kick her out. He wouldn't refuse to pay for her car, her phone, and wouldn't refuse to pay for rent for her and her affair partner while also financially supporting the kids she had with other guys. he's stuck with her first kid bc she's in prison now.
You do not post photos of someone against their will. End of story.
OP was an idiot to be part of the pictures. She should have object at that point.
Of course, the pictures will be shown, otherwise, why take them?
I'm not religious but I've made it clear that I do not want photo posted online of me, unless told otherwise specifically. OPs "friend" has know her since they were kids, she darn well knows why those photos should not be posted. I'd report this photo and break this friendship off, not much that can be saved here
It's also not allowed on most social media platforms. A lot of them have it in the TOS not to post images/footage of others without their consent and have specific methods in place for reporting posts that break those terms. It's even written into laws in a lot of places. (but that depends on where they live)
Last Story - I'm shocked OP is even posting about it. He knows what he needs to do. Quitting her job is a non-issue at this point.
Right? She’s just a girlfriend 😂 kick her out
Yeah it was so weird, she cheats on him and she thinks he's the one who has to make up for it to her and also make her a stay at home girlfriend. It would make more sense if she was a trophy girlfriend and he was some old rich geezer.
S1: OP should have used his father's words against him. "You told us our stepkids would have to depend on you and we would have to depend on Sadie. Sucks to be you now when you're being hit with expensive medical costs."
Hi-oh, XO! Hope you're having a good day! Keep up the excellent narrations.
She cheated, complains about how he communicates and now wants to quit her job so OP has to care for her financially while she bums around.
"She's not talented"
"...flounders..."
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Kick the waste of space out of your house!
I'm breaking up with you because i hate your job! What do you mean i have to leave? Why do I have to give the engagement ring back? I... I thought I i could stay and we'd still be friends with benefits and I'd eventually nag you until you caved and quit your job! Then id know i could control you.
Hijab: You know someone is taking pictures. After that you think only people in group see it. But you can never be certain who see it. She should have taken it down when requested but it is on you for trusting she understood. All those pervious pictures you assume were only in a private Instagram. You have no way to know that she hasn't shown them off to other people. Male or female.
Last story is laughable. She cheated on him and now wants to try the stay at home gf route. There was another story where the gf didn't chest but wanted to be a stay at home gf. This girl wants to be a SAHGF so she will have more time to cheat on OP. He pays the bills she lives rent free, barely does chores and while OP is at work bring the dude she cheated with in and have sexy time with him.
Story 2: He needs to check the laws where he lives. In some places an engagement ring is considered a gift and property of the person it was given to. In others it is a contract item that should be returned if there is no marriage. As for the home, she might have to be evicted legally depending on how long she has lived there, whether she is signed in as occupant for official mail etc. Even bills she might've paid that can be attached to that address (electric/gas/water, internet, streaming services, mortgage, taxes) can be legal proof for her to claim rights in some places and make removal more difficult.
TBH though, sounds like she is a gold-digger. She was either trying to get her way and make him take a different job to cater to her whims or be given a free pass to sleep around while keeping the comforts and benefits of a provider and keeping what I assume to be an expensive piece of jewelry until she finds a richer mine to delve into, with better benefits.
I can see what the Dad was trying to do in that first story. But damn did he go about it in the worse possible way.
How ? he fosters relationships for both sides
@@MrHelicxNo.
@MrHelicx no he doesn't. He straight up just abandoned his kids to his new wife. You foster relationships by including everyone and spending equal time with all the kids, not just the two stepkids.
@krn2683 0:45 delusional
@@MrHelicx He had a plan to foster relationships. Relationships involve feelings. He however disregarded 1/3 of peoples feelings in this plan.
His plan was dead on arrival, and he still tried to force it.
Story 1 was waiting for the Give me your kidney and or part of the liver NOW! lol
The engagement story- OMG Yea No When you propose marriage the ring is the seal of agreement that both parties will get married. If the engagement is off and relationship ends, both parties MUST separate and ring is returned. THE END
Op just found out her friends aren't friends.tell her to enjoy her wedding with 1 person lacking.
Story1: NTA. St Judes is a thing. OP's dad could set up a gofundme instead of asking for $ from offspring he tossed aside once he had his shiny new family. The dad was a dick to OP & sister AND to the 2nd wife. He set her up for failure and tried to make her responsible for his kids when they didn't want to deal with her. He should have continued to parent his own kids and let her parent her own kids. Then he's all shocked pikachu face that OP and his sister didn't give a crap about the kids he ignored them for. I do feel for the sick kid, but it's not on OP to financially support a step-sibling.
The father is lucky his son didn’t do more than just mock him.
Lol what?? Ex wants the ring and to stay living there and get supported? What? The delulu people are nowadays is wild!!!
Last story: YTA for not just ending it. She earned his resentment, but he's choosing to stay in the situation.
Actually he did not wrong
Photo story:
NTA!
And wrong. You can report the photo and have the platform remove it.
Are you sure the kids are his kids not step kids ? With his attitude would not be surprised if he was cheating
Nahhh if the marriage didn't happen give the ring back and get out !😊
story 4 your not the idiot here you’re father if you go on the family holiday you will be forced to do all the free babysitting so the other couples can go out it’s probably the only reason why he wants you to go tell your father he pays a babysitter to go on the holiday so you’re not stuck with all the babysitting or you won’t go it sounds like this is a holiday for them and you’re not included 😡😡😡🤬🏝️😤😤🤯
S2 she’s a gold digger , super entitled you had a lucky escape
No one cares but/about you!!? Whoever said that no one cares should not be your friends anymore because if they truly were your friends they would've never posted any of this on social media knowing your religious values! So you know who to kick out of this friendship and never speak to you ever again obviously! Show your parents this I hope they don't disown you😮
hijab story! Sad to say that you shouldn't have exposed your hair to non-believers of your religion based on the evidence of what happened afterwards… I'm so sorry this happened to you! You deserve so much better than these ignorant people discrediting you and posting it on Facebook or wherever they posted it! I'm a agnostic. and I believe that everyone should be able to have their own beliefs UPHELD! 😮😢!!
You are 100% not a bad person for holding your beliefs I would sue them honestly for defamation of character & religious beliefs!! 😢😢😢
Hijab story
Some socials will allow you to report the photo for stuff like this
Story 4-NTA
If she doesnt want to babysit she doesnt have to go.
They are over 21, he doesnt have to pay for anything
If it were me, I'd probably decline going if I thought I was going to get stuck babysitting, even if the dad paid for the hotel. Especially if I got stuck with it last time.
Last Story: Why are you asking us?? Ditch the gaslighting witch!!
Photo story: NTA, look, friends don’t disrespect other friends religious beliefs
I’m an atheist man who grew up Christian, and I disagree with a lot of what Islam requires of women, however it is those women freedom of religion (in the west) to choose to follow these customs and beliefs, and I’d NEVER insist on violating those beliefs or customs for a dumb photo
I think the only exception for me personally is like, maybe if a Muslim woman needs CPR and I’m the only one who could provide it, then I’d give CPR, but outside of extreme and wild cases of life saving intervention, you should never disrespect another’s religious beliefs no matter what you personally think of them
Have a wonderful day XO!
In the last story, the disgusting descriptions of the cheating woman are UNNECESSARY. I thought this channel was less tasteless.
Sloppy seconds comment is disgusting, dude has some therapy to do himself. Otherwise agree
Love this channel.
S2- wth??? 🤣🤣🤣 The ex is delu lu and hilarious. Shes an idiot. Op dodged a bullet.
Hi XO
Story 1 NTA: just a theory, it sounds like Sadie didn't want OP and their sibling, so she convinced Dad to this ridiculous arrangement, knowing they would reject her and then Dad like an idiot sided with his stepkids.
OP and her sister need to be careful next dear old dad will be asking them to get tested to see if they can be donors for his stepson.
I feel like it’s common sense to not post pictures of people who wear hijab. To say it’s no big deal and that OP should have known better is dismissive of her feelings and religious beliefs.
They were friends. If it was anyone else, they would have never suspected their friend of doing this to them.
Said I would have sent you well it can't mean that much to you cuz you don't want to marry me. Say you broke the engagement you Get back to ring those are the rules period and no we're not getting married so you're not going to live here period the entitlement this one is just beyond belief. If you still love me you would let me use you.
Last story: YTA to yourself for staying with a cheater. Sounds like my best friend. He allowed himself to be cucked so many times and didn't end the relationships. He didn't want "to be the bad guy". His last ex quit her job, slept with at least 7 different complete losers, got knocked up by one of them, guilt-tripped him into taking responsibility for the first kid. Continued to cheat on him and he kicked her out briefly but she lied & claimed she was pregnant so he took her back but when he wanted to kick her out again (she was still cheating) she deliberately got pregnant from another loser and bc she lied about having "lost" the key to his house, snuck back in while he was sleeping & had sex with him, she claimed the baby was his and he took care of her up until a week or two after she gave birth and the paternity test came back showing it wasn't his (and it looked just like the loser she cheated on him with). She never stopped cheating. Never stopped manipulating him. Never stopped abusing him. Fortunately he's now married to someone awesome and the ex is in prison for child abuse.
She wants her cake and eat it too ! B/S !!!! You were supposed to bend to her will but didn't get the program ! She wanted to stay until you eventually folded !!!!
Its not wrong to ask for the photos to be taken off public display for any reason.
Story 3 is it a vacation or tag along babysitting? Because Op didn’t mind babysitting a little but Op doesn’t want to do it 24/7 like last time
1-NTA He's still gaslighting you because of the stepson. 2-ESH She needs to give the ring back since she broke it off. She should also move out. Your communication sucks! 3-YTA. You should have spelled out all the details beforehand and not drop it on everyone after the plans have been finalized. Your daughter is right to be angry about this. 4-NTA She is not your friend. Walk away from the wedding too. I understand where the ESH commenter is coming from but op still has the right to request the photo's being taken down. Unfortunately for op, once on the internet, forever on the internet. 5-YTA for staying with the cheater. You lost me when you said "I'm not trying to sound arrogant...", YOU DO! It's irrelevant what the other guy has or doesn't have going for him. It's about your gf cheating. Dump her ass and move on, PERIOD!
Why are you still in contact??. You dont force children to suddenly treat a stranger as their new sole parent.and ditch them.
Story 5: NTA. But seriously, get out of there.
Swanhe ted the benefits of your work (bills taken care of, taken care of, housing, food, etc) but wanted to no longer get married. She wanted you to do ALL the compromising, and basically beg for her to stay and bend to HER will. NTA. She is an idiot.
I love those that use the term "sloppy seconds", like they've got the moral high ground that they are a virgin. It clearly shows a sense of superiority, misogyny and sexism.
Wrong and they are right as she is a cheater
Sloppy seconds doesn't refer to being with someone who has prior sexual experience. It refers to being intimate with someone who has recently been with someone else. It implies certain fluids are still present making it "sloppy" instead of clean. Like with a cheater who is intimate with someone else and comes home and it intimate with their SO (the thought of it grosses me out). The term was used correctly.
Now if we could just get people to stop misusing "raw-dogging".
@@serialgunner6055 wasn't disputing that fact. Didn't bring that into the conversation at all in fact. I was just commenting on the way men have a Punch on for humiliating women for doing the same thing they do. not showing great reading comprehension there are you
@@Shazjgus you'll have no problem telling me how soon after she cheated that he had sex with her then. on top of that, it grosses you out? You scared of getting pregnant…
That’s literally NOT what that means. Are you old?
S1: if you stay……….,. Your life will be manipulated for ever!!!!! Leave! Love yourself enough to be happy. ♥️♥️♥️🥰🥰🥰
Story 4: NTA
The last story, I can see why she cheated on him. Self centered much. He doesn’t care about her at all that’s why she found someone that was with her emotionally. She should have left instead of cheated though
Lol my house is mine yea I'll let girls stay the night but they aint moving in
S1 - I would love to hear the father giving his point of view. From his kids' side, he sounded weird and unbelievable.
Sorry what of his point of view can possibly excuse "here's your new family stfu and accept it?"
I kinda agree this is one of those stories where you need to be there to give a proper judgement
Gold digger story. Keep the ring and still live in your house? Golddigger! You have done nothing wrong! Did she pay for anything? Probably not?gold digger. I'm glad you got the ring back and I would just pack up the rest of her stuff and send her to your parents house!🎉🎉🎉
Hijab story - the YTA commenter is the AH.
Story #2: She wanted you to get a new job because she wanted more money to spend without her working for it!! She's nothing more than a gold digger!!
These adult children are getting a free vacation... 10 DAYS IN THE CARIBBEAN 😅😅The least they can do is watch kiddos. The commenters are crazy...
They weren't asked in advance though, so it effectively isn't a gift anymore, but a transaction that was sprung on them without consent. While it is still very generous if it were offered outright, in terms of costs saved, the breach of trust is capable of swaying feelings heavily in the negative and souring what was meant to be a fun time away entirely for someone involved, vastly outweighing or completely negating any benefit in the arrangement. I've cut people from my life for doing that exact thing. "Here, have something nice. Now do something you don't want to, don't you remember I gave you something nice earlier? You OWE me."
Personally though this situation is too mild and set in ignorance, not malice. So while I wouldn't go for cutting off anyone, it does call for a good long talk about boundaries and consent, followed by potentially a compromise.
I firmly believe the one who helped out when she was a teenager deserves to at most sit this one out to even the 'score' between the adult siblings, or at the very least she does only a lesser share of the helping out that she is willing to accept. Something that seems like it's not a chore.
@@Eppon6Tbh I think is a new culture thing, which is why this generation is so lonely. It is a family vacation, and unless you pay for yourself, there will always be an expectation that you will be helping the family in some sort of want.
To be honest this generation is over the top. Expecting independence whilst being on someone else dime is stupid. If she doesn't want to babysit she can not go or pay for the vacation herself, she is above the age of 18. He not asking for much, 2 evenings out of the 10-day trip. Being part of a family means helping out so that the burden is not all on one person's shoulders. He paid for her and her bf for godsakes. Instead of just taking, she should be thinking about how can she contribute, as she couldn't contribute financially.
If these were my kids and they told me to get an nanny, instead of making them babysit. I would be deducting the babysitter's wages and board from the amount I contributed to their portion of the vacation cost, and they would need to make up the rest of the money to attend.
vacation nta YOU GET NOTHING IN THIS WORLD FOR FREE If a parent is paying for my vacation, I am one asking for free time. it different if i paid.
He's the AH because he didn't ask her or let her know about this from the get-go so she could make the decision of whether she wanted to go or not. You don't slide that in last minute after everything is bought and booked
@drizztdourden8111 yet she is still going. yall are full of it. You expect to get everything with nothing.
@MrHelicx I'm not saying she should get everything for nothing. What I'm saying is he should have discussed this with her when he asked if she wanted to go that way she could have made an informed decision on whether she said yes or not. It's not the request that's the AH move it's WHEN he told/asked her.
@drizztdourden8111 I think you're not up to how much an actual vacation cost..
@@MrHelicx I invite you over for dinner and cake! And when you show up, you're not allowed to leave until you spend 8 hours cleaning my house. How entitled of you to expect dinner and cake for free!
Wow, last story the OP is the jerk. And so is the gf for cheating, but she needs to leave his toxic "I'm the best" mindset. She cheated because someone else treated her well. She needs confidence to leave OP, as she'll never be happy with him. He just needs a mirror to be happy.
He’s angry, and justifiably so. She cheated on him, but somehow it’s all his fault and HE needs to change? No, no no. OP only being an AH to himself.
Rings are given as a gift of love with the expectation of marriage down the line, operative word being gift, otherwise you're just trying to bribe her. She could definitely move out
It is a conditional gift based on the promise to get married. She called off the engagement so the conditions were not met, legally and morally he gets the ring. I say morally because she would be stealing thousands of dollars from him should she keep it.
@@pantsonparade actually not legally, courts of law except that gifts are given and can be kept. that's the problem with using a system that is an unwritten rule, you want conditions, get them down on paper then.
@@blindbrad4719 In most states, an engagement ring is considered a conditional gift. If the engagement is broken, the ring is usually returned to the donor. Look it up.
@@blindbrad4719Actually, in a lot of places, OP would legally get the ring back since it's a conditional gift based on whether they get married.
@@pantsonparadeall the court shows agree with you
Engagement ring story: going with ESH. It sounds like she tried to make it very clear that your schedules were a problem, and you just kept brushing it off. That said her expectations after ending the engagement, are insane.
He made it very clear he wasn’t going to change his job though. Which was before they were engaged. She had the chance to say no to his proposal. Hoping that you can change your partner although they don’t want it and tell you so is just wrong. It doesn’t matter if we talk about jobs or kids. If she doesn’t like his job schedule they aren’t compatible. It looks he he assumed that her acceptance of the proposal meant she accepted his lifestyle. Apparently she didn’t make it very clear his job is still bugging her. Also it makes sense for him to stay in his family business.
@@Falco2Itachi my point stands. If you can barely eek out 20 hours a week to see/interact with your partner, then that relationship is basically doomed from the get go.
I'm bashing OP because it's pretty clear that he never understood that, and he sounds very much "in this family's pocket" which is also not great for a relationship.
@ Inventing stuff isn’t the same as having a point.
Op ex knew beforehand and demanded him to change we call that bait and switch
Highjab story-YTA.
You saw her taking photos and you took it off knowing you would be in the photos.
You saw her take the photos and said and did nothing .
People lack common sense now a days, if you don't want pictures taken then say no right a way or cover yourself
don’t post photos of other people on social media without their permission.
The Ex-Fiancee story: ESH. If she was as miserable as she said, she should leave. The situation with him was never going to get better. His job means more to him than she does. He's just not marriage material.
That said, leaving someone means leaving and not being around them anymore. She was foolish to think otherwise. If she didn't want to be homeless, she should have found accommodations elsewhere before she broke up with him. If she was trying to manipulate him, then she isn't marriage material either.
It's very obvious that most of the people commenting on this story have never run a business. It's not a JOB like he can just go to Olive Garden and wait tables instead. It's a family restaurant that he will likely take over or inherit. And he's supposed to throw that away for a woman who knew his schedule when she said yes to the proposal? Nope. The only AH here is the spoiled brat who wanted to make a ton of unreasonable demands. He obviously loves running a restaurant with his parents and he is definitely better off without that flake.
@@cyndib511I agree with you. OP just needs a partner with a similar schedule (working evenings) or someone who is willing to work for the family restaurant. Problem solved.
@Falco2Itachi Exactly. He should have paid attention when she complained that he was spending too much time at work and realized they're not compatible.
Story 4: YTA. Dress as you like but it's entirely unreasonable to expect people to cater to you. Next time don't uncover if pictures are being taken. It's not like they pressured you to uncover then posted the pictures.
If the restrictions imposed upon you by your flavor of superstition is that damned important to you, then it's up to you to police your attire and behavior. Nobody else is responsible for enforcing your adherence to whatever religious fetter you force yourself to obey. If it's not Muslims demanding I dress or behave a certain way, it's Christians and if it's not Christians, it's Jewish people. I'm not responsible for your absurd religious observances and when you force other people to observe your religious restrictions, you're not asking for my respect, you're demanding my obedience. You knew pictures were being taken. You know you didn't have control over who saw them or will see them. You sound like one of those exhausting religious fundamentalists who put themselves in these situations in order to let everyone know how very pious and observant you are and then act all butthurt when everyone else refuses to go out of their way to respect your piety. Give it a rest. Your religious idiocy is your own, not anyone else's.
Look, I'm the first person to point out when religious fundamentalist are being entitled and unreasonable. This isn't that. If someone doesn't want photos of themselves posted to social media without their consent, it doesn't matter if the reason is so that their creepy ex-boyfriend can't stalk them as easily, or so that no men can see their hair. If you care about the person, respecting basic boundaries is not a big deal, including over circulation of their image. The reasoning behind those boundaries doesn't matter. If someone tells me they don't eat pork, I don't care if they don't eat it because of an ethical stance against factory farming, or a meat allergy, or because God says it's dirty, or because they just don't like the taste; I don't feed them pork. If the boundary is reasonable, it doesn't matter that the justification is religious. And in this case, the boundary is reasonable.
@@draughtoflethe Shed KNEW that pictures were being taken. She could have put on her head covering and did not. It's not the same as feeding somebody pork. It's a very reasonable boundary to not want your photos posted online. But she crossed the boundary by allowing herself to be photographed, not her friend.
@margarethorrall8621 In the past, photos that were taken had only been shared privately among the attendees via a group chat. It was reasonable to expect the same would be true here. Consent to having your photo taken is not the same as consent to having your photo shared on social media. It's similar to how some parents don't mind family members taking photos of their young child, but don't want those photos plastered all over Facebook. It's the same premise that lets revenge p*rn laws exist: consent to one thing (having your photo taken) does not imply consent to another thing (having that photo publicly shared on the internet).
Moreover and perhaps more importantly, these people are supposed to be OP's friends, who should know her boundaries and respect her wishes more than the average stranger. Given past behavior, they were fully capable of keeping those photos as private memories within the group of girls who participated. No one was losing money by not posting them. Why spring this change on her when they knew it was against her wishes?
1st story, these are the same ppl that wanted to appeal obamacare without health insurance. op just seems like a idoit. Bonding time with the new parent is abandonment now.