Body Language Habits That Can Ruin Your First Impression
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
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You probably know that your body language says a lot about you, but what you might not know is what it’s saying all the time.
That’s why in this video, I thought it might be fun to cover 7 things that your body language at some point is telling other people, so that you can come across as more confident and likeable.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:23 - Sign #1: Scanning the room: You come across as boring
1:32 - Sign #2: Not letting people interrupt: Singles you out as a leader
2:59 - Sign #3: Leaning against something: You are the centre point
4:06 - Sign #4: Having your hands in your pockets: Signals nervousness
4:29 - Sign #5: Using precise and open gestures: You seem more confident
5:15 - Sign #6: Hanging your head: It makes the problem seem worse
6:27 - Sign #7: The eyebrow flash: Communicates friendliness
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#BodyLanguage #CharismaOnCommand
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Doesn't crossing your arms come across as defensive?
The obvious solution isn't to cross your arms OR put your hands in your pockets. The superior choice is to put your hands in the pockets of the person you are talking to, it will convey confidence and lets them know you're the alpha.
This is good if you want to assert dominance, but if you want to communicate friendliness, you need to put your hands in their back pockets.
@@sleep3417 sometimes I do one hand in the front and one in the back when I'm unsure
I'm not sure that's a completely accurate assessment, as I cross my arms all the time solely because it's comfortable.
@@ILikeWafflz The OP said that it *COMES ACROSS* as defensive. It doesn't mean the person in question is actually TRYING to look defensive.
This genuinely shocked me. That basically tapping someone's butt or inner thigh to assert "dominance" isn't sexual harassment-
As an Italian, I'm a natural born hand gesture black belt
Mamma mia
Shat apa de shat ap
Spicy meatball 👌
And undoubtedly obnoxious and loud.
@@20alphabet I'm Italian too... sadly it's partly true, even though I found Italians always more inclusive in conversation and a lot more open to new people than others, I do also hate how loud most of us are...
I may have only looked at the thumbnail but i have to strongly disagree.
Putting your hands in other peoples pockets to assert dominance is a textbook alpha move
Cant tell if sarcastic or not lol
Top comment FOSHO.
Hahaha
Cringe
😂😂😂
As an alien trying to learn how to interact with humans, I would love if this guy became my tutor.
Dont eat him we need more guides and advice
lol
Could you imagine if this was an actual alien and we didnt take it serious lol
@@onlybetasgetoffendedbystri8030 agreed lol
@@onlybetasgetoffendedbystri8030 oh yea haha totally youre wrong we dont exi- i mean aliens dont exist
As a level 500 alpha I can say that the best way to convey dominance is to pee yourself while looking an adversary straight in the eye and not blinking.
Hahahaha!!!
Dam right
If you combine it with explosive diarrhea? Over 9,000
I'll try it tonight
Gold
So don’t take my pants off and put my hands in the pocket. Got it.
Weird, but I'll give it a try.
XXXXXXXDDDDDD
I can't believe that you do the whole talk in one run. I can't see any interruptions in the video!
I was thinking this by point number 6
He has a video on presentations that goes further into that ;-)
Little Lion I definitely need to check that out
I've seen a lot of women pull that off because they can naturally talk for hours, but it's rare to see that with guys.
Power Move
1. Scanning the room: you come across as boring. When you are in conversation then be in it.
2. Not letting people interrupt: Focus on one person while having one on one especially, signals you out as leader
3. Leaning against something: Lean against the BAR(good example :-D ). you are the center point
4. Having your hands in pocket: Signals nervousness
5. Using precise and expansive gesture: you seem more confident
6. Hanging your Head: it makes the problem seems worse. Instead smile, eye contact.
7. The eyebrow flash: communicates friendly ness.
My weird passion is to share summaries like Started doing it on my channel with PDF summaries.🧐
Success Wheels kind of funny when you write it this way
@@sayWhatzzzlol ✌
Success Wheels cheersss
Success Wheels the only comment that matters
Hayamhaj yololol .... haha lol. Appreciate
I used to use advices like this as a teenager, but as you get older it's better to just BE who you want to come off as being, and not fake it. It's much easier and not misleading. And all the little subtleties that you can't fit in a video will also start to play out in your character.
Seriously, one thing that came to my mind is the recently popular show Wednesday. She literally does everything he says she shouldn't, yet she is the most loved character because she is being herself. All of the charming tips fall apart with her yet she is weirdly charming.
@@Raven_Black_252 honestly it because shes a character.. i dubt most people would actually like her if they met a person like that in real life.
@@Gbhmagic that depends on people, and it varies
absolutely agree, the thing is it comes as misleading or a bit fake since its all very "conscious" so when faking all this and all of a sudden getting in a different situation or even under a bit of stress, all the "normal" and subconscious attitudes and movements just pour out showing your "true colors" and people could think of you as a "poser" or a "fake"
@@Raven_Black_252 the writer made her character loved, reality is something else.
As someone who knows what violence is, I will never not scan the room or area periodically. It's just a habit and one day it might save people's lives so who cares. The world isn't safe you should always be watching your surroundings to some degree.
Yes but I think there is a big difference between scanning the room because you are nervous and scanning the room because you are cautious/analytical and people can pick up on these subtle differences
@@elias4416 Obviously you can not relate to this. It is cool to be able to focus intensely on what the person opposite of you is saying but for me, I rarely ever stop taking in my surroundings and especially DETAILS at least semi-consciously, it can help you understand the underlying changing dynamics of a situation to be it a social one at school or in a mafia deal and it helps out a lot in avoiding possible dangers.
A simple glance between two people can tell you either it's safe or time to get the hella outta there!
@@dr.skillz77mgpl92 With all the instances of random people pulling out a gun and making Swiss cheese out of a crowd of people in a matter of seconds I will continue to remain cautious thanks! ✌️
@@dr.skillz77mgpl92 You are very correct, as someone whose been in and out of prison and only a year ago decided to get out of it and quit doing drugs, the worst habit I have is analyzing the "temperature" of each room and what boils down to regular social mismatches, peoples' awkwardness or just simple disagreements, my brain immediately interprets this as cues for an escalation.
It's a weird phenomena in heavy duty criminal situations that visible nervousness etc tends to provoke anger, suspicion and emotional power struggles.
The best thing you can do, is get out of it and re-wire your brain to learn that the world is not dangerous, and whatever danger you might happen to find yourself in innocently, is something you could not have prevented either way.
Worked security at nightclubs and yes, always aware or the back against a wall 😄
Bro, how do you do that in one take?
Simple, its not one take
He took his course, Charisma On Command, which is setup with a step by step action guide.😂
Me watching this and pretending that I go out and have friends
me watching this and pretending I know how to even have a conversation
So only introverts watch this?
I thought I was the only one.
@@mariogonzalez4928 seems like it lol
You can actually go out.
We want a video on tommy shelby from peaky blinders
Ammar Shahzad yesssss!
Someone watched Brett Maverick? Hmmm....
@@Mrchair-bk5ns hahahhaha
I was walking down the street the other day trynna distract myself but then I see your face oh wait that's someone else😶
HELL YES, PLEASE
As I'm a naturally confident person I do the eyebrow raise a lot... I never realised that you usually only do it with friends. I do it every few sentences in any conversation lol
Honestly I know people who do that and I think it just makes you come across as more agreeable and possibly a little bit of a pushover depending on the frequency. Not the same thing as when you see and old friend and do it once.
I do the eyebrow shift sometimes and it always makes the people I'm talking to feel annoyed. I think it comes off as too "excited".
You come off as autistic, see woody from pka
I've done it uncontrollably for as long as I can possibly remember any time I say hello to someone. Weirdly enough I've been self conscious about it, wondering whether people think I'm being fake etc
I would stop talking to you after one conversation. That amount of unwarranted enthusiasm comes across as manipulative and narcissistic. Who are you trying to impress?
"Don't scan the room". For someone who's been a musician for a very long time, it's ultimately difficult not to scan surroundings subconsciously while talking to people.
It’s like something just catches your attention out of the corner of your eye lol
You're supposed to do it though... I mean look at the guy in the video, is he always looking at us? No. So I don't really get the problem.
What does being a musician have to do with that
@@User61918 my question exactly (and im a musician XD)
I thinkt the wording he used it wrong. Personally, if someone never scans the room, I feel like they're so blissfully unaware of their surroundings, whcih can render them unnatractive in my opinion. However, how I interpreted what the guy said is: don't be too distracted from the conversation. Glancing around is fine, but staring at other things is another story.
Only a true fan knows this is a repost
So true
I do
You dont have to be a true fan just have to hit the notification bell lol
shhhh
As a recent follower it was new to me, but I absolutely believe in repetition! Seeing, hearing and doing things again and again is very helpful in internalizing ideas and concepts.
Me to girl: hey let's meet up sometime
Girl: yea sure we can check who else is free
*the pain*
F
me: no we wont
F
You mustn't agree to such meeting. Let her know it's a date (if it is) but not directly. "Couldn't it just be you and I?" You shouldn't be submissive at such moments.
@@UshankaMaster Couldn't it just be you and I?" is also too soft. there is no need to be gentle in your intentions.
So much of communication happens on a nonverbal and energetic level. Fascinating to tune into this level of reality.
Cross your arms, you look defensive, adversarial even. No. No. No.
Someone might cross their arms because they’re cold, or their hands were falling asleep hanging by their sides. It doesn’t mean the person is standoffish, in fact your assumption that it does makes _you_ standoffish.
Psst lets take some acid
"nonverbal and energetic level"? Communication is done through sound, sight, or touch. A blind person commuicates by touch and sounds whether verbal or non verbal sound. Theres no such thing as communiating on an "energetic level".
"energetic level" oooo magic detected here :D
1. 0:38 - Scanning the room (while engaging with someone).
2. 1:41 - Dont let someone interrupt you while you're talking to someone else.
3. 3:00 - Don't Lean (closing someone in)
Do lean casually at a bar/table etc.
4. 4:12 - No hands in pockets.
(5) Do use hand gestures during conversation
6. 5:21 - Shame. Hanging your head for any reason for any mistake. Instead make eye contact, smile, apologize.
7. 6:39 - (Do) Eye Brow Raise
Something like that .
👑 You dropped this
Thank you stranger.
8. Dont over thinking be your best self and enjoy his or her presence
The rock eyebrow raise
Hahaha I always scan the room whenever I’m on a date
Man, I so appreciate this channel. Being on the Autism Spectrum makes it really difficult to have social interactions and sometimes I don't act "appropriately" but I'm extremely good at mimicking and learning principles. These sorts of videos have made it easier for me to integrate into social situations to the point that people don't realize that I'm on the spectrum ... in fact, people are shocked when they learn that I am. Thanks for making life a little easier for me.
I feel the exact same way because I also got autism so it is nice to know I’m not alone I’m not being the only one who learns from these.
That's so wholesome!
same here lol and most of the stuff i learned on my own though expericenes but some thing i need to have teached to me lol
You sound like your insides exceed what so-called " normal" ppl should obtain.
Fellow autist here. I started off with a pretty rocky first period of social interactions... it kind of broke my will to interact with people, for a long time. To be honest, I think online interactions helped me close the gap there, a lot. Just trying to understand people, what kinds of personalities there are, how to present myself. Eventually I found myself with a close group of friends, ironically distant IRL, and that helped me move on to being semi-confident in real life interactions as well. It's been a heck of a journey, but we've come a long way.
Don't give up! =D
*Being confident is not only in how you speak but in how you move your body. Stand tall.*
What if I’m sitting down?
@@chrisjfox8715 Sit tall
@@ryancraigt what if I'm short? Can I use a booster seat?
*im writing in bold so you all must listen to me*
@@mishasubin Yeah that move is called a pro-non-alpha move.
Instead of ignoring someone when they interrupt a conversation, can you just tell them to wait for a minute?
You can do it when that person has interrupted like 2-3 times.
Yep, i say ''just a sec -Insert name-'' If you know their name and use it, you will not only look confident, but also respectful and friendly, both of the people you are talking to will respect you more.
Don’t listen to Anshi. You can definitely tell them to wait a second. Just be like yeah hold on a second ___
What I usually do is that I put a hand on the shoulder or the arm (depends on the person) of the one that's interrupting me to let them know to wait a minute.
@@thejiracros that feels more like a threat to me. 😂
I gotta stop holding empty pants up with my hand in them. Guys help
They eyebrow flash is subconscious. This interaction often happens automatically to convey interests when walking by another person. That and smiling.
1st habit that will make you attractive: be gentle with everybody.
It's this simple. You don't have to change yourself, as a matter of fact it would be way better if you stay just the way you are.... only more polite.
If you are a shy person I imagine this advice doesn't help much but a loud git like me helps a lot haha
That will make someone an okey guy, the Nice guy, 2nd option guy.
I mean, every body will be fine with you but not really the attractive type in a better way
@@dhan3766 Personally I prefer to be myself than resorting to some cheap manipulative tactic. If you wear a mask, eventually it will fall off and the others will see you as disingenuous at best.
But if you cultivate the habit of being gentle not only to the person you're interested but also to those around you that often pass unseen like a janitor or a waiter... well, that makes you a beautiful person.
In my own experience, good ppl naturally attract good ppl... aaand avoid manipulative/disingenuous people like a plague. I know because I avoid them at the second I spot these features.
Seriously, dhan, be yourself. You'll find someone.
@@vincecomuna I personally do all of these things, it's natural to me, didn't know people needed courses in it. But it's pretty obvious when people are faking it and it's a major turnoff to me, so I agree with you. You have to act a little in business, but outside of that just be yourself.
@@vincecomuna This is so true! :)
Though it's easier to find company when it seems fiery and dangerous at the first glance and nice guys seem boring to many people. But the sad truth is that the more attractive guys at first glance will cause alot of problems when/if it evolves into a relationship when their real nature is seen. ;) Not 100% surely always but very often because they are playing someone else and not being their own selves.
for everyone that have read this: Have a nice day. Just remember that you'll find your love someday when you expect it the least (if you haven't already) ;)
You know you could've worn the pants with your hands in the pockets... in the thumbmail
Why do you think we don't see the bottom half? Dude is a nudist who wears a shirt for the video.
He doesn't wear pants
Crazy talk
Dude, you made me realise that my body language has turned me into some kind of freak! However, with the guidance from your videos, I'm going to learn to embrace that. Thank you 🙂
Its almost like motor mouth entertainment has something to talk to me about. Watch your own teeth ugly
when i saw the thumbnail i thought it was about taking your pants off in public
lol wtf 😂😂
How am I supposed to get my keys out of my pocket then???
Hahaha I wonder what that says about a person's body language when they're doing that
Me: **looking at the thumbnail**
My mind: "Stop taking off your pants just because you want to put your hand in the pocket."
Conversations are only 20% words, 80% body language.
That's why I prefer texting, can't read body language for life
Nah
LegoGuy87 Literally all the girls I know who went to Italy said it was their worst travel because of it’s people...
LegoGuy87 I’m pretty sure it was a tour from Rome to Milan, I personally love Italy, I guess as Norwegians the cultural shock it’s too strong for us. It was a total of 6 girls, which is a considerable number in my opinion...
Jonathan Bowen Definitely, my bad
My Labor Day body language says I love eating hamburgers, hot dogs, and guacamole! Have a great one, kids!
I think you just have to be comfortable in your own skin and environment, and THEN you will appear confident. I don't think you can fake your confidence by doing/not doing the things mentioned. I would prioritize being comfortable before being confident
You get this right
Amazing! Waited just for that
Sometimes I feel weird watching Charisma on Command. Learning how to be good in conversation, or even how to appear attractive, like I'm some kind of alien or robot. But once I thought about it, I realized it's not a bad thing to want to become a source of positivity for the people around you. I'm watching these videos to improve my relationships with others - it's not like I'm doing any harm by making both myself and whoever I'm talking to feel better about ourselves.
Yeah i think these videos are pretty well done. It's not like hey you're basically Radiohead's Creep, so do these things like a robot. It's more about making people aware of the messages we all send implicitly through our body language and other actions. I think the correct way to apply this stuff is to understand why you do certain things and recognize thought patterns that are leading to them. For example, the person hanging their head in shame after getting a name wrong probably does feel shame. But why? It's a perfectly innocent and understandable error. Don't be afraid to acknowledge it, chuckle and continue with the interaction.
Hey Charlie, you might find this interesting.
You are absolutely right that you can't force the eyebrow trick without looking like a weirdo. However, I was reading in a book the other day that if you use a simple visualization trick you can sort of trick you brain into creating that body language naturally. The trick was that before you approach someone, visualize them as and old friend you haven't seen in years and you will naturally have warmer and more comfortable body language.
It's always a cost to implementing these skills as it requires us to think about what we're doing. That's why we can't rush the process, focus on one thing at the time and slowly you'll start to get it right.
Or it's just me who is a slow learner, considering I read my first book on body language ten years ago and still have a lot to improve;).
It takes me a super long time to implement stuff like this. I'm still mainly in the stage where I'm recognizing my bad habits and trying to not but I don't know what to do instead most of the time :(
I’ve recognized that these skills are impossible to begin to possess just by Watching these videos. It’s important to be reflective when you are trying to master these skills.
Listening to the person you're talking to, engage 100% showing real interest, there's nothing worst than feeling ignored. Pay attention to your body language, be aware of it because it really says a lot :)
yeah, people do that to me all the time. it really takes a toll on your confidence in social situations. another thing is boxing you out in a group of people talking. im so sensitive to it now that I always try to focus on the convo or shift my body to include a person that's on the edge of the group since I understand how it can make someone feel
@@99Pierogies me to
The number 7 made me smile. Today I ran into this girl I haven't seen in a little long (she would work for the same company I work for and she simply disappeared). Long story short, I stepped into the bank and she was there, I looked her in the eyes, lifted my eyebrows and she smiled straight away. You definitely come across as friendly when you lift your eyebrows when running into someone.
Scan the room. If you go in a room and you don't scan it, if you don't check your surroundings, you look avoidant. More information is always better. This is one of the reasons why eye contact is important too. Small miss otherwise great video. Never let passive aggression pass!
He said don't scan the room while you are in one-on-one conversation because others in the room will see that and think that you are not interesting. I've noticed others who were scanning the room while in a one-on-one conversation with another and thought they must be exceedingly rude. He didn't address scanning the room when you first enter to assess the environment or while you are not in a one-on-one conversation. (Or maybe he did? I only watched the first 1.5 minutes.🤔)
I think ve could learn a lot from Frank Underwood (House of Cards)
I'd appreciate if you did an analysis on him.
Better not to have Kevin Spacey for an example.
Marilyn O what makes you say that?
@@TheRomanoLV Charlie is part of the lizard master race just like Mark Zuckerberg and just like Donald Trump.
His orders are to brainwash the masses into acting for the benefit of the lizard people. He is quite successful in blending in as human but we're onto him now. Stay safe and stay woke.
@@sudeepssj4 A rational person can separate the actor who did bad things from his character who has really good social skills.
Tho i understand why you say that.
@@AFashionedReveler lol, conspiracy tard.
The non verbal cues that we give off to other people come from our deeply held beliefs, those beliefs come from our character, and that character is shaped by our habits and patterns.
Mindprovement - Self Esteem & Influence this comment lead to to your channel, which I subscribed. 👂 👀
@@sayWhatzzzlol Thank you! I appreciate that. :)
I can't stop laughing at this channel's solution to "we gotta show 'hands inside your pockets' BUT ALSO we gotta have our handsome guy in the thumbnail!"
Enzo Draws lol that’s so true 😂😂😂
That makes no sense.
Although I'm not an expert, what I think the core principles of these 7 sign languages are:
1. Don't express a sense of being lost and uncertain. Makes you stick out like a sore thumb.
2. Be in control of your flow of communication, and direct the attention and appreciation to someone else if they are in need of it.
3. Give a sense that you are relaxed in the situation, which implies confidence and makes people not afraid to approach you.
4.1. Do not express nervousness, which makes you look vulnerable and easy to take advantage of,
or, for crossing arms,
4.2. do not appear wary and defensive, makes yourself harder to approach.
5. Be precise and clear with the way you act, gives no room for doubt, and tells that you know what you're talking about (and also applies when admitting that you don't know much about a subject)
6. Don't be overly apologetic, makes you come across as unconfident and negative, and makes people uneasy. Apologise accordingly, depending on the severity.
7. Express interest in the person you are interacting with, makes them feel appreciated and makes you feel warmer and more approachable.
Crossing your arms I understand. But It's comfy. People at my work cross their arms all the time and we're all doing fine with communication. I think it's best to add up all the cues and your gut to access the situation. Just like this video was explaining how different scenarios for directing attention. Experience in social settings is key!
@@therightarmofthefreeworld4703 From my experience with meeting new people (including at work as well)... I understand what you mean. Again, I'd still argue context, adding up all the cues, and social experience is still key. Getting a feel for the room. Asking questions. Not to mention, what setting and what environment? It's a lot of things to think about, but will be better as you do it more often. If you don't have an understanding and need more practice, yes it's better to follow some of the tips in the video. I know someone who follows tips like from the video, and he is still so out of place and stand-offish. It's due to his inexperience.
Anyways, happy socializing! Learning more ideas is better anyway!
It isn't actually hostile. It's a self-hug, comforting.
Alright fine. I'll stop carrying my pants and placing my hands in the pockets
As I grew out of my asocial younger self and became more social I realized I probably naturally mimicked those trait from people I found pleasant to talk/hang out with.
I scan the room because, unlike a lot of people, I like to not be totally oblivious to my surroundings.
He means looking a round at people when you start a conversation with someone. Scan before and be aware, doesn’t mean to not give the person direct eye contact and staying focused on them.
So does everyone else. Do it quickly and not while you're having a conversation is what the point is.
Most high "Social Status" people got the Jabs & wore Face Diapers
So much for "Status" & Confidence
what are you talking about???
"TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE" shakespeare
Studying body language *tells more about a person* than actual words that come out of the mouth,
trying to tell something about themselves.
*See what they do, not what they say.*
Could you breakdown Elvis Presley he has such a great stage presence
just do lots of opiods
99Pierogies Robert plant wasn’t on opioids and he had great stage presence as well
*This was top notch info C-o-C!* Practice makes perfect and eventually it just becomes part of you
Clash of clans
I never stop talking with someone when my phone rings. Never! the days when few people had the expensive, heavy, handheld cell phones are OVER. It was a status symbol that only “important” people had. So other people would be polite and say nothing when the stranger on the phone interrupts. Now people grant permission by saying “do you need to take that”? I enjoy saying no. And I turn off my phone ringer so it won’t happen again. Same for text messages. They can wait.
Having your hands in your pockets does not mean you're nervous. You can be relaxed and comfortable.
Not about what it means technically, it’s about what it conveys. Being poorly groomed smelly and holding a cardboard sign doesn’t mean you’re homeless but…
@@rexlundstrom2333 What a terrible analogy. Having your hands in your pockets does not mean you're nervous, end of story. It's situational.
I love this stuff, it’s so interesting. Thank you for sharing!
STATISTICS: Only 7% of of our communication is verbal and 93% is non-verbal. No doubt Body language plays crucial role in our communication.
Interesting !
How can you measure that?
Source: dude trust me
Yours Truly may be with some kind of device/meter😂. Lol m not sure, Read this statistics while working on my video topics. Regardless of these numbers I believe body language plays major role in communication.
And what if someone has just their thumbs in their pockets?
Same as hands or is that a safe(r) zone?
they are serial killers
@@frang2737 oh damn, you got me
Cowboy stance
the yeehaw technique
If you're a sexy dude wearing a cowboy hat and boots, go for it. Otherwise, no. :D
Number 6 happened to me today, we were in computer class and there were some projects that the teacher had built and they were kind of worth a lot to him.. we were all touching the projects and when I held one and put it back, it slipped and fell off the shelf, the teacher yelled "Who told you guys you could touch them?!" even though he had let us.. anyways, point is I didnt hang my head I had waited for the teacher to walk over to me and i tried helping him pick it up and apologized , Guys never be ashamed of a mistake, but be always be respectful
It’s harder for me when I get in trouble by an adult I’ll get nervous and start blaming others it’s bc when I was young I was in the cafeteria I was like 6 or 7 and the opened my milk while in line and the lunch lady was screaming her lungs off at me calling me clumsy and stuff 😅
Remember don't steal change from other people's jeans guy's, it's very bad.
As a portuguese speaker, CU (charisma university) is a heck funny acronym to come up with. XD
Please explain.
CU means butthole in portuguese.
@@AFashionedReveler Wow... totally misleading hahah Yeah, kinda changed my opinion about him.
@@sidblue Pronounced as "See You"?
Adeel Its pronouced as “Kú”.
I worked in a place where people would interrupt or barge into a conversation two other people are having. It was a work place culture thing. It was the height of rudeness as far as I was concerned. Then one day, when this interruption occurred, So, in the end, I just turned around and walked off. I continued to do this until people got the message.
Man no disrespect, I know you're trying to help but I can't help but to think this is teaching us to be like robots or fake.. When someone focus so much on how to act rather than just acting normally then he loses the sincerity of a human being
"how to mask better - the guide"
This guy has no clue what he is talking about.
Though your analyses of celebrity's charisma get more views, these types of videos are incredibly informative and helpful. Keep up the good work.
I look away sometimes because its easier to think about a more complicated subject than it is to concentrate all my brain energy on making sure I'm faking my facial expression correctly.
Also most of the time I don't want to send the message that I'm friendly because then people want to talk to me. NO! I'm busy and I hate small talk. It has nothing to do with being weak, shy, or awkward....its a deliberate choice because at work I'm CONSTANTLY expected to converse with people......its draining. Silence is a much more appealing thing to me as I enter my 40's.
As an ex marine we don’t lean on stuff bc it’s considered lazy. We don’t use our eyebrows when we talk or precise or open gestures with our hands when we talk. We don’t fluctuate our voice we put base in our voice to sound confident stern and to show we are in control and maintain control of ourself and our situation. Not to control the other person or anything just it’s to demand respect and to be taken seriously. Hands in pockets are a no go. So many times during a field exercise and our hands were cold we put our hands in or armpits bc then your hands are close to your core. When you’re rally cold your pocket won’t do much for you anyway. But when we cross our arms our chin is still up, back straight and shoulders back so in result our arms come up without effecting the rest of our torso. And your head never goes down and when someone is speaking you maintain eye contact either constant or you only look away when studying/scanning a room. We’re always scanning the room. I never sit with my back to the door and I always know exactly how many people are in the room and when someone comes in and leaves. Ik if someone sitting down behind me is facing me, adjacent, or if their back is to me. Ik what pocket their phone is in Ik which part of the chair their purse is on. Ik when they reach in their purse (without staring or even looking at them at all), Ik which pocket their wallet is in where their keys are if they have a gun etc. I was in McDonald’s the other day and 5 people came in after I just started eating and even now I still know what each person ordered and Ik which ones didn’t finished their food and the vehicle they drove. I even remember what they were wearing. 2 had new iPhones, 1 had a Samsung Note and the other 2 never took out their phones but judging from the bulk in their pocket their phones had otterboxes. When I’m in a group of people talking I’m the quiet snd reserved and gathering data and analyzing them. I can tell a lot about them just by letting all of them speak and I’m a mystery to them bc I’m quiet but clearly not bc I’m shy or nervous bc my posture and stoic look lets them know just bc he’s quiet doesn’t mean what it usually means. I take up space, feet apart and knees out when I sit back straight and chin up. As a man never cross your legs are close your knees close together knees to be been wider then your hips both feet flat on the floor. And when someone tried to interrupt I don’t let them. I talk over them while maintaining speed of speech and don’t change positions. And I put even more base in my voice. They realize pretty quick not to interrupt me. And if they keep trying I call them out on it putting them in the spotlight which will embarrass them. And since it embarrassed them it’ll stick in their brain to let me finish before they start talking
As you get older, you'll realize having the need to be seen as dignified become meaningless.
A tip for you, too many hand gestures. It’s distracting and makes you seem as though you are either not confident or cannot effectively communicate with your words. Cheers
All these different tips have helped me SO much over the summer. I started the summer as a friend to a LOT of people, but never really the center, or the person many focused on, in most social interactions. This one girl went from being a friend, to being legitimately interested in me, and I couldn't be more happy! Thanks again dude! 👏👏👏
Crossing hands is a form of self-soothing, which I either caught up from a video you have made or from another source, not quite sure. Keep up the good work with your videos good sir. 😀
Here in New Zealand, a pronounced eyebrow lift usually accompanied with a little upward nod of the head is a common casual and informal greeting or acknowledgement. It is rooted in the indigenous Maori culture.
Crossing arms is closed body language making you less approachable is what I've heard from dozens of other sources.
Yes, on dating. If you want to have a kiss, crossed arms are preventing it. I would also not recommend it, but what crossed arms definitly do not express is insecurity.
Even if you want to be defensive, you know what you want.
these are good tips but i literally forget them 10 minutes after watching the video
At least, to use it, you must apply them intuitivly and not by thinking.
Hey Charlie. Your charisma breakdown videos are some of my favourites. Craig Ferguson is someone I really admire for his quick wit. I would love to see a charisma breakdown of him sometime in the future.
The only one i disagree with is the first one, scanning the environment is actually a survival mechanism the rest make sense but im not so sure about the first one. scanning the environment especially when in a new place is actually very important you can take note of an exit of a place or what could be dangerous to your individual.
Ridiculous, I love social awkwardness.
His first reason is a joke, Always be aware of your surroundings.
Me:OK OK I got this!
Also me:*screwing whole conversation with over rushing words
You have to keep scanning the room so you know where the gun fire is going to come from
*The body tells more than the mouth ever will.*
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.
The fedora guy is back yaaaayy
The chicken came before the egg.
Can you analyze Brad Pitt's character in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. "Cliff Booth" is one of the most charismatic alpha males I've seen in a long time.
the wife slayer?
I've always enjoyed Charisma on Command, specifically you, but what is super distracting is someone (you) under 30 dying his hair.
If you're worried about staying relevant, remember it's the message and not what your hair color is.
"Bro...." age gracefully.
The moment you claw at staying young forever you become irrelevant. It's the message and not how you look.
If anyone has a problem with how you look, they themselves have a problem with reality. We all age.
I can't agree more. I love this channel but someone young (younger) dying their hair is distracting and makes me think they are secure.
instructions unclear i have bullets inside of my lungs.
I am very guilty of #1, and it's because I really don't know how to connect with the person I'm talking to. Can't understand where the line is between friendly curiosity and nosiness; and also I often just don't know what to ask people about themselves. So uncomfortable silence happens, and I escape by looking away.
I consider myself pretty good at connecting with new people. I think a great thing you can do is cold reads, like I'll ask somebody "What are you studying?" and before they can answer go "Wait, let me guess... you have a STEM face".
That's a great way to provide your convo partner with the option of continuing in a playful or serious way, like "What do you mean, STEM face? Is that a good face" or "Haha no, I actually do psychology"
I guess you have to be comfortable with that kind of playfulness, but you can always slip in compliments like "oh STEM is the best face" if you feel you aren't witty enough
I think it would be nice and beneficial to consciously include the quick eyebrow raise when greeting people you know.
Just like you make it an effort to smile (if you don't naturally do so)
your face kind of does it automatically anyway tho when youre genuinely happy to see someone. too much faking can be noticeable as well to people
Communication is 90% non verbal.
@logan gabriel antoine Are you sure?Watch some famous politicians giving speeches and see how animated their bodies become. It was only really in ancient Athens where it was seen as rude and improper to speak with the the body.
@Jonathan Bowen There are a number of different studies that have shown different numbers ranging from the 7-38-55 percentage to the 60-40 and the 93-7 one. The main point is less the number but more the fact that they all agree non verbal communication is far more important that the verbal.
@logan gabriel antoine Interesting I will have to watch some videos of him, as I have only listened to him and not watched. Thank you for pointing this out.
True.
@Jonathan Bowen bailous rex is probably thinking of mehrabians rule which is widely disputed.
Tell me you overthink everything without telling me you overthink everything.
If you seek long term relationship, just be yourself. Being fake will get you another fake.
You can always work on yourself as a person. It's only fake if it feels fake to you. You can adopt new mannerisms and ideas.
3 years ago, I tried to tell a co-worker once that his mother was in the hospital while he was hitting on a girl at the bar. He told me, "Don't interrupt me, please," right in front of the girl. I tried speaking up again and got the words "Yo your m-" then he put his hand up inches away from my face. Making him look to be the bigger man and me the lesser.
5 minutes later, he waived me down from across the bar, and when I approached, he said, "Now you can tell me" (the girl was still there)
So I said, "Great, just thought you might like to know that Devon (our boss) has been calling to tell you your mother was in a car accident and in the hospital." He thought it was a joke until he used my phone to call Devon because his was dead. He was gone within a minute. His mother lived. I ended up with the girl that night. And I haven't gone out to the bar with that dude again. Nor does he look at me whenever we see each other at work. Everyone won. Even his mother, who only got whiplash but won a hefty lawsuit against the other driver.
The moral of the story is to make sure if you do that to someone else. You better make sure it ain't important first.
Crazy, you know the lawsuit history of the mom of the person who you never talk to. Stalker?
if you don't know what to with your hands just become loose, it's hard but if there's nothing to really do with your hands it's totally fine to not think about it
Last weekend I‘ve been to a Party at a bar and I did the eye brow flash consciously a couple of times when greeting or trying to communicate nonverbally with friends across the room. I felt comfortable doing it, so I don’t necessarily think that this behavior is wrong, it just needs to fit the situation and if done correctly (confident and willingly) I don‘t see any problem in doing it 🤷🏼♂️
Except now those friends of urs secretly hate ur guts
Jotaro kujo always put his hands on his pockets
Do cody strong the prankster from angry picnic
*Facial Expression Is One Of Most Important Thing others will see on you, Work On This*
I have the image in my mind of Charlie spending 30 minutes in the bathroom doing weird eyebrow gestures and shouting HEY BUDDY to himself and I like it
Being an anxious person, worrying about my body language is one of my biggest setbacks to be honest. Let me explain. They say when engaging in conversation, to maintain eye contact, and to REALLY listen to what the other person is saying. It's very hard to put all of my thoughts and attention on someone else fully, when I am too focused on maintaining positive looking body language. I get too much into my own head about how I look in any conversation to even truly listen and understand the person I am engaging with in the present moment. Which in turn makes me extremely anxious, and I can't concentrate on what's really important. Then I become so anxious that this is the only thing that becomes most apparent. My anxiousness is the last thing I want to convey, but being too much inside my own head, and worrying about what others think about me at any given time seems more troublesome than just listening. It is a vicious cycle. I don't want to think about whether crossing my legs comes off as snobbish. Why can't people just show how they are really feeling, while of course remaining respectful and polite. Inside of hiding how we really feel to just 'seem' confident temporarily? Your body language will only then be 100% honest. What do I do?
Instead of ignoring your friend. Just simply tell them you are busy?
If you add or take away you will be damned. Last words the bible says.
Anytime I feel shame I do the opposite. Instead of looking down, I’ll look up and jut my jaw out. Frown and spit in the persons face. Blame them for tricking me. So far, works like a charm. If you want to know more tricks on how to avoid small talk. I’ll be making a TH-cam series.
I actually think that hands in pockets are absolutely normal and appropriate when for example waiting for a bus. Looking around while talking to people isn't just weird, it's rude. People actually demand an eye contact, because it gives them a chance to perceive non verbal communication or to spot a lie. Everything other mentioned is a sure thing.
try telling that to introverts and ASD. it's not exactly easy to maintain eye contact, it feels like your stomachs falling out.
@@prodbyicoray717 Introverted does not mean antisocial. I'm as introverted as it gets, can dissappear in my room for two weeks without a trace. Never have I had a problem with comfortable eye contact, and neither should any healthy person.
For some reason I always put my hands in my pocket it’s just a habit
Pocket pool