I got accused of pretending to be disabled for attention long before I ever encountered any (openly) autistic person. I remember being confused at the time because my understanding of disability was limited to my grandparents and my uncle with a missing finger. I hadn't even learned that people could be born disabled yet, but my parents were fully convinced I had seen an autistic person and spent the next decade mimicking their behaviors near daily in hopes of recieving special treatment. They'd clearly rather convince themselves that I was an evil, selfish child than accept the reality that I might have a disability. Because what child pretends to be disabled for OVER 10 YEARS STRAIGHT?
That is so baffling to me the incredible leaps of logic you have to go to to believe a child would do that... like okay, your child has (a) seen an autistic person and recognized them as autistic (b) decided that they want to mimic the behaviors to get positive attention (c) managed to observe said autistic person closely enough to accurately mimic their mannerisms while also somehow you the parent do not know which specific autistic person this might be (d) managed to, again as a child, perfectly mimic these mannerisms that are against their own natural mannerisms and (e) kept it up seamlessly with no breaks or drops for (f) again, deliberate manipulation, as a child, and this line of logic does not at all point to the idea that theres anything going on in your child's life that needs attending to, autism or otherwise, despite (g) them never getting the desired result but continuing anyways for (h) TEN ENTIRE YEARS... rather than the possibility that your own child might show autistic traits because they are autistic. what???? huh???? you did not deserve that in the slightest that's truly next level BS
Part of it is that sometimes they think that that's what it was like for them as a child & so they treat their child the same way they were treated. Or maybe they do treat their child better, but they still don't get, that youre not just being difficult for no reason. A lot of the time, undiagnosed parents don't realise it's not normal.
I wasn’t really accepted by my peers. I got along with younger, and older people. I’m thinking that if one was well liked by classmates, they likely weren’t autistic. Just a hunch.
I think this is a common experience, but I think it also depends on the personality of the person and what the other class members are like. I was lucky that there were (what I think now must have been) other neurodivergent kids in my primary school and we gravitated together. Then in secondary school I was in a class where everyone got on well with one another.
At the age of 7, at school, we were tasked with writing a detailed essay of how we helped our mum around the house (1970’s). Allow me to recall my essay in its complete detail. I get out of the way. When the teacher questioned my mum on the subject my mum’s reply was, “ Well he’s honest! That’s what he does!”
As a 5 year old I remember being forced to eat apple crumble pie by a dinner lady. She wouldn't let me leave until I finished it. I flipping hate apple crumble pie. I don't know what it is about cooked apples that makes me want to puke. I never had apple crumble since that day.
I had a similar experience in primary school in the 70s. My torture was the dreaded milk puddings. Omg, there wasn’t just one kind, there was semolina (grainy gross goo), tapioca (frogspawn), rice (lumpy smelly), blancmange (solidified yuck). The dinner ladies used to harangue you to eat it and shout at you. I simply could not even dare to taste it, the smell was so awful. I never drank milk anyway. I would just sit there crying. Then I realised they couldn’t keep me there past the end of lunch hour, so I learned to just sit it out. This nastiness was served up at least twice a week and I literally feared dinner time anticipating what I would see on the menu board. To this day I have never even tasted plain milk and the word pudding makes me feel sick.
i mean they're analog. _and_ magnetic. _and_ produce cool artifacts on the media as they deteriorate. + they can be _rewound_ & lots of cool little perks like that. also easier to grab, readily lend themselves to gajillion years of evolutionary thumb development
Yeah I was a terrible loner - still am. As a child I was better talking to adults. As a child I hid away in cupboards and wardrobes and under beds , just because I liked the quiet safe feeling it gave me.
I have been "the goth kid" since the very end of primary school (still am honestly, but well, goth adult now haha) and I was absolutely OBSESSED with Living Dead Dolls. They were expensive, but I ended up with like 13 of them thanks to one of my grandmothers buying me them for birthdays. I still love them and refuse to get rid of them despite having no room to display them right now and they're older series which are probably worth quite a lot. I also love to collect gemstones, fossils, skulls, art supplies (especially interesting paper, washi tape and stickers for some reason). Also interesting bottles for my future kitchen that I may never afford. 😂
I'm convinced they spotted something in me in preschool (ages 2-3/4 years old). Instead of being supported or anyone saying anything, the child minders who worked there targeted me and made my first ever childcare institute experience (before school) traumatic. I'm convinced that a lot of teachers along the way spotted something in me because a LOT of my teachers literally seemed to either love me or hate me. I think NT adults see/suspect, they'd just rather abuse us instead 🙃
I have always liked collecting things. I started collecting mini glass liquor bottles that the drunks would throw out into an empty lot a block from my house when I was five. I also collected marbles (I still do) starting at age 8. I collected bottlecaps, Native American and Central American dolls. Now I collect coins (since about age 11) and stamps (started as an adult). I love collecting and sorting the collectiond.
I’m 51 and just going through an assessment now. Well I’ve done the pre-assessment, so I will probably have to wait a few more years yet. Anyway. I look back at my childhood at it’s so obvious now but it wasn’t really a thing, so I was just a bit quiet and eccentric! My mother used to also make me sit at the table (for hours) because I had faddy food habits. Usually I would eat one thing at a time and if I didn’t like the texture of it in my mouth or the flavour then I wouldn’t eat it. Meat was a big no no of mine. Not chicken or soft meat but any meat that was tough and would have me chewing for hours and I couldn’t swallow it!! Eh! The tears and tantrums I had over food. One dinner lady made me eat something I didn’t like and I threw up all over her 😂
Yes, meat was the absolute worst....it was always so chewy and gristly. I used to just chew it for ages and eventually spit it out. I haven't eaten meat for 37 years now.
My experience with education with autism was like the complete opposite other than GCSE’s where I similarly got Bs and mostly Cs. In primary school I was complete doo doo water, my parents (not in a bad way) would have me sit at the table trying to learn the work but I was years below my class in terms of Maths and English. After my GCSEs though, which I were proud of because I thought I was gonna fail, my grades picked up especially after choosing a subject I loved for my Level 3. Now I just finished my degree in June. A video idea I think would be good, although I’m sorry if you’ve already covered this which you may have, is learning how to drive. I’m doing more lessons now after finishing education and have to redo my theory because it’s been over 2 years but I’ve watched a video from Paige Layle about her experience. Although if you’ve already done it or don’t have much to say about it I understand.
Hey, thanks for sharing again and helping us all to feel more normal🥰 I’ve had so much shame about dropping out of college and am only just realising that it wasn’t laziness, I was hugely overwhelmed. I didn’t fit in at school but college was sooo much worse! And yes, getting up and actually getting to school was an ordeal, walking in to the building and people ‘looking’ at me- aaargh! Do you have the fear of being seen? If I think I’m being watched, even doing things that I am competent at, I crumble! I can’t leave the house without checking if there’s anyone outside 😂 Anyhoo, I’m happy to see you looking brighter Dana; you’re doing brilliantly❤😂
Ohhhhhh 🤯 you just helped me realize that a huge part of my difficulty in art school was fear of being seen vs having to constantly demonstrate working process I make my husband cover his eyes when I parallel park 😂
hey, not to brag, but if this helps, i dropped out of three separate university programmes lol my adhd was usually enjoying each new social life at first, up to the point when i figured out that it's just another circle i somehow don't seem to fit. that makes matters more lonely ps. people watching you is a ton of (((projected))) demand. but i believe it's a trauma response?🤷so it can be improved. i don't know about others of course. but i know i've seen better days in this regard
I was he same with books. I used to go through the shelves and read all the ghost stories and then all through the mysteries etc. Such a book worm, but mainly for science fiction and fantasy. I was a very slow learner and couldn’t cope with exams at all. They made me so sick.
wow. the same dinner table scene has played out multiple times in my childhood where i was 'grounded' until i didn't finish something or _at least_ tried it. except i was a very stubborn kid, so i just sat there for an hour until they gave up or something, fortunately it didn't happen too many times now if i think about it, one is too many. like what do you expect to happen? like they're abusing their power over me forcing me to force myself, and i'm somehow supposed to get to like stuff this way? i don't even get what's behind that logic, well i don't even want to get it because it's not nice not that i'm blaming my parents, they couldn't have known better (not like your story with a having a direct comparison in a brother), and to their credit i did turn out malnourished lol. but also gained a lot of food related trauma on the side what's the moral of the story? don't dismiss your kids, or any kids for that matter
Hi, for a content idea. What about discussing your favourite things that you own? And possibly a wee room tour of the new place? Providing the issues you mentioned in a previous video with the insects is sorted, or not too severe. Hope the issues you were/are having with the new house are on the way to being resolved.
@DanaAndersen same boat. I've tried to split it in half before and watch like a two season show in the middle. My brain went way too wonky. Do not recommend!!🤣
Excellent video. ❤ I commented on a super old video about fashion choices that I would love to see an updated version of that, but after this video I think it would be cool to go second hand shopping with you? I LOVE that your parents had that kind of shop! Astrology has been my special interest since my pre-teens! What is your sign? I’m a Pisces! ♓️
I think I’m on the spectrum, but haven’t gotten tested. I am partially sighted, and I think some of the problems I had when I was younger were erroneously attributed to my vision.
I have an idea of content. I am autistic and I don't know if this trait is autism or unique to me. I miss important, obvious things out when reporting them to people, doctors, tradesmen, dentists, even if I make lists. I can prepare, and the obvious still won't occur to me until after the event. Can anyone relate, if this is an autistic trait, I will forgive myself, but it makes getting along in life difficult.
Could it possibly be AuDHD? From all the info I learned it is an often combination, in which both conditions mask each other and are harder to spot. I’d describe one of my main struggles as “no matter how hard you try to make no mistakes, they still occur”, therefore my coping strategy is checking things several times. Sometimes it gets hard as my autistic side craves for perfection and ADHD makes it impossible. No matter how well I know grammar rules, I still will make several mistakes while writing and won’t catch them while checking. It was the same with maths, physics and chemistry at school. It helps to have the list before your eyes while speaking, as you can check the points and see if something got forgotten.
@@daryayermokhina9232 I was tested by an ADHD nurse once, and did not make the visit back to the ADHD psychiatrist, as the ADHD nurse thought I had it, but it is not confirmed. There's apparently a five year wait list to be assessed for it now.
It’s weird hearing what could be my own childhood memories recounted by someone else.
I got accused of pretending to be disabled for attention long before I ever encountered any (openly) autistic person. I remember being confused at the time because my understanding of disability was limited to my grandparents and my uncle with a missing finger. I hadn't even learned that people could be born disabled yet, but my parents were fully convinced I had seen an autistic person and spent the next decade mimicking their behaviors near daily in hopes of recieving special treatment.
They'd clearly rather convince themselves that I was an evil, selfish child than accept the reality that I might have a disability. Because what child pretends to be disabled for OVER 10 YEARS STRAIGHT?
That is so baffling to me the incredible leaps of logic you have to go to to believe a child would do that... like okay, your child has (a) seen an autistic person and recognized them as autistic (b) decided that they want to mimic the behaviors to get positive attention (c) managed to observe said autistic person closely enough to accurately mimic their mannerisms while also somehow you the parent do not know which specific autistic person this might be (d) managed to, again as a child, perfectly mimic these mannerisms that are against their own natural mannerisms and (e) kept it up seamlessly with no breaks or drops for (f) again, deliberate manipulation, as a child, and this line of logic does not at all point to the idea that theres anything going on in your child's life that needs attending to, autism or otherwise, despite (g) them never getting the desired result but continuing anyways for (h) TEN ENTIRE YEARS... rather than the possibility that your own child might show autistic traits because they are autistic. what???? huh???? you did not deserve that in the slightest that's truly next level BS
Part of it is that sometimes they think that that's what it was like for them as a child & so they treat their child the same way they were treated. Or maybe they do treat their child better, but they still don't get, that youre not just being difficult for no reason. A lot of the time, undiagnosed parents don't realise it's not normal.
I wasn’t really accepted by my peers. I got along with younger, and older people. I’m thinking that if one was well liked by classmates, they likely weren’t autistic. Just a hunch.
I think this is a common experience, but I think it also depends on the personality of the person and what the other class members are like. I was lucky that there were (what I think now must have been) other neurodivergent kids in my primary school and we gravitated together. Then in secondary school I was in a class where everyone got on well with one another.
At the age of 7, at school, we were tasked with writing a detailed essay of how we helped our mum around the house (1970’s). Allow me to recall my essay in its complete detail.
I get out of the way.
When the teacher questioned my mum on the subject my mum’s reply was, “ Well he’s honest! That’s what he does!”
This made me proper laugh 😂 Sometimes just not being in the way really is the best we can do
What grade did you get?
I think you deserved an A+ for that. My mum wouldn’t let me help.
Brilliant! 😅
As a 5 year old I remember being forced to eat apple crumble pie by a dinner lady. She wouldn't let me leave until I finished it. I flipping hate apple crumble pie. I don't know what it is about cooked apples that makes me want to puke. I never had apple crumble since that day.
I had a similar experience in primary school in the 70s. My torture was the dreaded milk puddings. Omg, there wasn’t just one kind, there was semolina (grainy gross goo), tapioca (frogspawn), rice (lumpy smelly), blancmange (solidified yuck). The dinner ladies used to harangue you to eat it and shout at you. I simply could not even dare to taste it, the smell was so awful. I never drank milk anyway. I would just sit there crying. Then I realised they couldn’t keep me there past the end of lunch hour, so I learned to just sit it out. This nastiness was served up at least twice a week and I literally feared dinner time anticipating what I would see on the menu board. To this day I have never even tasted plain milk and the word pudding makes me feel sick.
I did and said all manner of weird things which got me ridiculed. Also VHS tapes are awesome, there's something about them, more real than dvds
i mean they're analog. _and_ magnetic. _and_ produce cool artifacts on the media as they deteriorate. + they can be _rewound_ & lots of cool little perks like that. also easier to grab, readily lend themselves to gajillion years of evolutionary thumb development
They're still as amazing to me now as they were when I first ever saw one
Just unlocked a memory, when I was a young child I had a brooch collection ..... i'm talking primary school age
Content idea: interests/hobbies vs special interests - which ones you’ve had and how they’re different.
Yeah I was a terrible loner - still am. As a child I was better talking to adults. As a child I hid away in cupboards and wardrobes and under beds , just because I liked the quiet safe feeling it gave me.
I have been "the goth kid" since the very end of primary school (still am honestly, but well, goth adult now haha) and I was absolutely OBSESSED with Living Dead Dolls. They were expensive, but I ended up with like 13 of them thanks to one of my grandmothers buying me them for birthdays. I still love them and refuse to get rid of them despite having no room to display them right now and they're older series which are probably worth quite a lot.
I also love to collect gemstones, fossils, skulls, art supplies (especially interesting paper, washi tape and stickers for some reason). Also interesting bottles for my future kitchen that I may never afford. 😂
I'm convinced they spotted something in me in preschool (ages 2-3/4 years old). Instead of being supported or anyone saying anything, the child minders who worked there targeted me and made my first ever childcare institute experience (before school) traumatic. I'm convinced that a lot of teachers along the way spotted something in me because a LOT of my teachers literally seemed to either love me or hate me. I think NT adults see/suspect, they'd just rather abuse us instead 🙃
1:30 ahaha yes classic ND all or nothing intensity of interests, I was the same. Either TOTALLY obsessed or couldn’t give a damn about it lol.
I have always liked collecting things. I started collecting mini glass liquor bottles that the drunks would throw out into an empty lot a block from my house when I was five. I also collected marbles (I still do) starting at age 8. I collected bottlecaps, Native American and Central American dolls.
Now I collect coins (since about age 11) and stamps (started as an adult). I love collecting and sorting the collectiond.
*collections.
Totally empathise with this & with many of your experiences. I just got my diagnosis on Monday.
I’m 51 and just going through an assessment now. Well I’ve done the pre-assessment, so I will probably have to wait a few more years yet. Anyway. I look back at my childhood at it’s so obvious now but it wasn’t really a thing, so I was just a bit quiet and eccentric! My mother used to also make me sit at the table (for hours) because I had faddy food habits. Usually I would eat one thing at a time and if I didn’t like the texture of it in my mouth or the flavour then I wouldn’t eat it. Meat was a big no no of mine. Not chicken or soft meat but any meat that was tough and would have me chewing for hours and I couldn’t swallow it!! Eh! The tears and tantrums I had over food. One dinner lady made me eat something I didn’t like and I threw up all over her 😂
Yes, meat was the absolute worst....it was always so chewy and gristly. I used to just chew it for ages and eventually spit it out. I haven't eaten meat for 37 years now.
My experience with education with autism was like the complete opposite other than GCSE’s where I similarly got Bs and mostly Cs. In primary school I was complete doo doo water, my parents (not in a bad way) would have me sit at the table trying to learn the work but I was years below my class in terms of Maths and English. After my GCSEs though, which I were proud of because I thought I was gonna fail, my grades picked up especially after choosing a subject I loved for my Level 3. Now I just finished my degree in June. A video idea I think would be good, although I’m sorry if you’ve already covered this which you may have, is learning how to drive. I’m doing more lessons now after finishing education and have to redo my theory because it’s been over 2 years but I’ve watched a video from Paige Layle about her experience. Although if you’ve already done it or don’t have much to say about it I understand.
Hey, thanks for sharing again and helping us all to feel more normal🥰 I’ve had so much shame about dropping out of college and am only just realising that it wasn’t laziness, I was hugely overwhelmed. I didn’t fit in at school but college was sooo much worse!
And yes, getting up and actually getting to school was an ordeal, walking in to the building and people ‘looking’ at me- aaargh!
Do you have the fear of being seen? If I think I’m being watched, even doing things that I am competent at, I crumble! I can’t leave the house without checking if there’s anyone outside 😂
Anyhoo, I’m happy to see you looking brighter Dana; you’re doing brilliantly❤😂
Ohhhhhh 🤯 you just helped me realize that a huge part of my difficulty in art school was fear of being seen vs having to constantly demonstrate working process
I make my husband cover his eyes when I parallel park 😂
hey, not to brag, but if this helps, i dropped out of three separate university programmes lol
my adhd was usually enjoying each new social life at first, up to the point when i figured out that it's just another circle i somehow don't seem to fit. that makes matters more lonely
ps. people watching you is a ton of (((projected))) demand. but i believe it's a trauma response?🤷so it can be improved. i don't know about others of course. but i know i've seen better days in this regard
I was he same with books. I used to go through the shelves and read all the ghost stories and then all through the mysteries etc. Such a book worm, but mainly for science fiction and fantasy. I was a very slow learner and couldn’t cope with exams at all. They made me so sick.
wow. the same dinner table scene has played out multiple times in my childhood where i was 'grounded' until i didn't finish something or _at least_ tried it.
except i was a very stubborn kid, so i just sat there for an hour until they gave up or something, fortunately it didn't happen too many times
now if i think about it, one is too many. like what do you expect to happen? like they're abusing their power over me forcing me to force myself, and i'm somehow supposed to get to like stuff this way? i don't even get what's behind that logic, well i don't even want to get it because it's not nice
not that i'm blaming my parents, they couldn't have known better (not like your story with a having a direct comparison in a brother), and to their credit i did turn out malnourished lol. but also gained a lot of food related trauma on the side
what's the moral of the story? don't dismiss your kids, or any kids for that matter
I think a video about autism and Ehlers Danlos would be interesting.
Hi, for a content idea. What about discussing your favourite things that you own? And possibly a wee room tour of the new place? Providing the issues you mentioned in a previous video with the insects is sorted, or not too severe. Hope the issues you were/are having with the new house are on the way to being resolved.
Crazy how her parents spotted her brother, but not her
Charmed😍😍😍😍😍😍
I’ve spent the last few months holding myself back from a rewatch 😂 It’s so good, but it’s so loooong
@DanaAndersen same boat. I've tried to split it in half before and watch like a two season show in the middle. My brain went way too wonky. Do not recommend!!🤣
@@DanaAndersenI totally did a rewatch recently and I actually love the reboot too! 😀
Excellent video. ❤ I commented on a super old video about fashion choices that I would love to see an updated version of that, but after this video I think it would be cool to go second hand shopping with you?
I LOVE that your parents had that kind of shop! Astrology has been my special interest since my pre-teens! What is your sign? I’m a Pisces! ♓️
Your speech about justifying doing things with wet hair was really funny,
I think I’m on the spectrum, but haven’t gotten tested. I am partially sighted, and I think some of the problems I had when I was younger were erroneously attributed to my vision.
i kept video tapes for years until i realised they look dreadful when you play them. still miss them a bit though.
I have an idea of content. I am autistic and I don't know if this trait is autism or unique to me. I miss important, obvious things out when reporting them to people, doctors, tradesmen, dentists, even if I make lists. I can prepare, and the obvious still won't occur to me until after the event. Can anyone relate, if this is an autistic trait, I will forgive myself, but it makes getting along in life difficult.
Could it possibly be AuDHD? From all the info I learned it is an often combination, in which both conditions mask each other and are harder to spot. I’d describe one of my main struggles as “no matter how hard you try to make no mistakes, they still occur”, therefore my coping strategy is checking things several times. Sometimes it gets hard as my autistic side craves for perfection and ADHD makes it impossible. No matter how well I know grammar rules, I still will make several mistakes while writing and won’t catch them while checking. It was the same with maths, physics and chemistry at school. It helps to have the list before your eyes while speaking, as you can check the points and see if something got forgotten.
@@daryayermokhina9232 I was tested by an ADHD nurse once, and did not make the visit back to the ADHD psychiatrist, as the ADHD nurse thought I had it, but it is not confirmed. There's apparently a five year wait list to be assessed for it now.
You aren't supposed to have wet hair in front of people?
You look nice Dana wet or dry hair you do you 😁😚
Do you wear socks now? What are effects that would happen to your shoes when you didn’t wear socks?