Overthinking Won't Solve Your Problems: Here's Why
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 พ.ค. 2023
- Join us today for a discussion on overcoming the habit of overthinking. In this video, we'll explore the challenges posed by overthinking and delve into effective strategies to break free from this cycle.
Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/424UAql
Not sure which module to start on? Take our quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
Overthinking, a common challenge for many, often becomes a stumbling block rather than a solution. Our conversation aims to dissect this issue, highlighting that despite our tendency to dwell and ruminate on thoughts repeatedly, it often fails to yield solutions to our problems.
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:07 - The biggest problem with overthinking
00:32 - Does thinking lead to success?
01:26 - The scam of overthinking
01:57 - What is Mensa?
02:59 - How people Theorycraft to solve problems
04:41 - Takeaways from overthinking
05:16 - Thinking negatively improves performance
06:07 - Treatments of social anxiety
07:32 - The real tragedy of people who overthink
08:07 - You can’t think your way to a solution
08:36 - Wisdom from the game of Go
09:50 - Summary of overthinking
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DISCLAIMER
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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#healthygamergg #mentalhealth #overthinking
Overthinking won't solve my problems... As an overthinker, I KNOW! I overthink the fact that i'm overthinking, and then I enter an endless loop of shame and guilt and anger at myself.
At the end of the day, it’s still overthinking. You gotta let that pattern go
I live in that loop too.
shame and guilt have got to be the most useless emotions when they're not a starting point to change
Overthinking enough to comment this one, I feel it
@@alvareo92 Entirely agree, if only the other side of my brain that thinks it's impossible to not feel shame and guilt over everything would understand that as well.
“Paralysis by Analysis” is how I always referred to it. Really nailed this
That's what most combat martial arts Coaches say
that's literally a symptom of ADHD "analysis paralysis"
I think that's only one type of overthinking. There are many others.
I might distinguish planning versus ruminating for example as distinct classes.
the scientific literature probably learned it from you
That's what everybody calls it
I think a big reason why people turn to overthinking as opposed to learning is because they were never given a safe environment to learn and the anxiety lingers from those experiences.
Some upbringings are full of hostility and shame especially in response to failure or mediocrity. Which is an essential part of learning. Hardly anything we do for the first time is going to be exceptional.
So rather than having a safe space where we can trial and error and gain as much experience as we need to succeed, we overthink. We think of the exact way we need to do something before we do it so we can do it correctly and avoid punishment. Which is tragic because this becomes our default mode of being for most of our lives.
It’s tough to break this wiring and best wishes to anyone trying to grow from this horrible maladaptation.
This is such a good analogy! I wish I had read your comment before I wrote mine.
i want to bookmark this comment
"You're doing x wrong."
"Wow, you're bad at this"
Yes, [insert relative here], I'm well aware, but hearing that from another person, reinforcing my negative thoughts completely demoralizes me, and I want to crawl in bed for the rest of the day.
@Avatar they can't 🙃
Bruh. This comment.
I'm suffering from this maladaptation. I now realize, why it was so hard to sit and learn something. Plus I'm a gifted gid who's now miserable. This makes so much sense. Thank you!
"Lose your first one hundred games as fast as you can"
I can't put into words how paradigm shifting this piece of wisdom is for me specifically. All of your videos have been incredibly insightful but this one in particular is absolutely divine! Thank you for the umpteenth time for being you and sharing Dr. K and HG! 🙏🏾
I've quickly developed the habit of losing.
I also noticed that i learn best when i allow myself to fail a few times. Consistent feedback is the best food for the brain and we can only get it by actually doing stuff in the real world...
Another uncannily in-time video from Dr. K
Bro honestly, it's almost scary at this point, 😶
_Yup._
Agent K surely 😂
More like Professor X
Or you think everything is wrong with you
I just got off of a very emotional phone call with my mom. She told me something similar to this when I was venting. Stop overthinking. Stop focusing on the negative. It’s not lazy or dismissive to take things day-by-day and slowly adjust to a new way of thinking/acting. Thank you for this! ❤
Yes! There are teenty-tiny things you can do every day to make yourself more of a "doer", and if you keep those daily actions you end up being able to do more and more without even realising it!
My mom says the exact same thing. She says I only know how to look at the negative side of things, and I'm always incredibly nervous at anything because of that, and that I overthink when she tells me to relax because everything's gonna be fine. She's absolutely correct.
Soon, I'll make the biggest change in my life ever (living and working in Japan alone), so if I don't change this mindset, I'm gonna struggle in ways I overthink just imagining it.
@@fluttzkrieg4392 You will flourish. Try to think about the best possible outcome only. Stressing about “bad things” that “may” happen does us no good ✨ Have a blast in Japan 🇯🇵 I’m sure it will open you up in so many ways :)
@@alvareo92 Thank you for the reinforcement! I agree completely
"The more you overthink, the more you actually end up screwing up."
This sounds like a principle that's similar to how OCD checking actually leads to *less* confidence in one's memories: "Did I actually check the stove this morning? Or am I remembering one of the eighteen separate-but-indistinguishable times that I checked it yesterday? Better check it just in case." Rinse and repeat six more times before leaving for work.
Dr K is in my walls at this point
fr
Absolutely true
That's like witchcraft that will bless the next people that take residence in your domicile 🥰
In your walls?
It's important to distinguish between "Thinking" and "Overthinking". Thinking is useful, overthinking is not (by definition really). It seems to me that you need a balance between experience and thinking. For example, if you try to learn Chess through theory books without ever playing a game, you won't become a good chess player. But similarly, if you play thousands of games but never stop and think about why you lost a game, you will get stuck at a low ELO. It's almost like food, once you've eaten a bit you have to digest it. You can't digest food if it's not there, similarly you can't think without data/experience.
Genuinely, the more I think the better my outcomes are and I have never reached a stage where I overthink in that it makes outcomes worse. Problem is thinking is tiring.
I think it comes to learning ability and reading(or overall) comprehension. If it's high, you barely need any experience. In fact experience is very limiting. With thought, you can simulate things at all angles, but with experience you generally experience things from one angle at a time...
@@cooledcannon overthinking is when thinking about something becomes an excuse for inaction.
@@Harevald What's wrong with inaction? Generally it's better than action.
@@cooledcannon If you are stuck in hopeless life, for example you are unemployed for years and feel bad about it, inaction would make you stuck in this situation. Rather than gradually learning skills to get a job or applying for jobs when you have some skills, you overthink and get scared "I can't do it", "this will be another rejection, it's pointless", thousands of "what if" questions that exhaust you before you actually do anything.
I have spent the last 6 years mulling over a large set of complex life problems in my head for hours a day, and it has gotten me nowhere. But actually trying anything is absolutely terrifying.
after you are done trying something, do you still find that it was terrifying?
Why you sound so much like me? Are we clones?
yeah you sound exactly like me, but for me it was the last 3 years
I've been a habitual over-thinker my whole life, and recently it's definitely been the worst period of over-thinking and stress. The timing of your videos is extremely uncanny, but thank you nonetheless. 💯
What I've kinda figured out at this point in my life (I'm 23) is that overthinking is like fooling myself to believe that I'm working towards a goal or an answer, when I actually have long gone past the point where I have any valid data to work out my answer. This realization has forced me to now be more aware of what I actually can be sure about, and where/when I start conjecturing. Generally saying, you need to actually work on something to add new data into your brain, to even start the reasonable, quality thinking process.
The walking example kind of enlightened me. The fact, that I'm thinking about how I walk, probably makes me walk in a weird way, which then makes me become even more insecure, which leads to more overthinking, resulting in me walking even weirder lmao
omg. “we use thought as a substitute for learning”. I love that and it’s what I needed to hear. I adore learning & growing and I guess it’s over time led me to overthink too much!! I’ll try to focus on “learning” things instead of churning my mind lol. I love churning my mind to see what it comes up with lol 😑🥶
So much of the reason I love this channel is because Dr.K turns everything adults have been telling me my entire life into words that actually resonate with me on a deep level of understanding.
Dr K is a genius teacher; his analogy of a clueless newb who just needs to fight the Boss before he knows what's up, was a masterful summary of useless theory crafting a kid could understand.
This channel has helped me realize that feeling my emotions is the best way to navigate them, I actually applied this earlier today by choosing not to rationalize or justify why the bad emotion is actually fine like I normally do and instead decided to just feel it without justifying it or trying to tell myself it would be okay. It helped a lot I think.
Over thinking works he just hasn’t thought about it enough, great vid tho
but if you think about it, it actually doesn't! oh wait
most overthinkers stop thinking right before figuring out the answer
keep gambling
Lol
@@freddy4603 bro it is an obvious joke, jesus
@@suqma Their comment was a joke too, referencing the joke "Did you know, that most gamblers stop right before they hit it big." Referencing the sunk cost fallacy. Now that I've explained it, it's probably not funny anymore though.
The game references are great and really drives the point home. Especially the "Lose your first one hundred games as fast as you can".
When I was younger I was astonished by the skill of players in Quake Live and similar games. I tried to play them and it was really punishing experience for a new player. I kept playing and I learned that the harder you lose, the quicker you learn and develop as a player - and you kinda started to search for opponents that would challenge you, because winning all the time against less experienced players felt like a waste of time. Also, it became really fun once you became better to try if you could have a chance with players that you looked up to.
The funny thing is that until this video I didn't really connect the dots that it's something I could utilize in real life also since it was "just a game".
I was in Mensa. The selection bias of insecure people who need the validation of a card that confirms you're smart is really powerful. I am very skeptical of any conclusion about high IQ people based on studies on Mensa members which don't take that bias into account.
Was about to say the same (minus "I was in Mensa"-part) :D
Mensa is a right-wing society based on meritocracy that leads automatically to a dictatorship of merit.
@@p1ker1 You didn't miss much. At least in Mensa Spain. National Mensa groups in Scandinavia seemed to do cooler activities, but I never went, so it's just an impression from the newsletter.
That is because Mensa self-selects for losers with high IQ. It is not the 'only' place for intelligent people. Top businessmen, academics, entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, even many athletes are intelligent and have high IQ, but they don't go to Mensa, they go to a place with people who have done things that they are interested in. Mensa is for the people who haven't achieved anything.
im 17 right now so i can i give mensa for 16-17 age group do you have any tips for me?
When i was in my early 20s i realized one of my biggest problems was being stick in my own head and overthinking. This is a still a struggle for me.
It didnt occur to me until watching this that the reason games are an emotionally comfortable place for me is because they present an environment where I actually have to stop thinking. Even when im playing a more strategic game that involves a lot of thinking, you have to stop and impliment your plan. Seems like Its much harder to get stuck in a mental loop when the only way to the next area is to take action.
Life on the other hand keeps moving if you do nothing so its harder to tell that something just isnt working.
People are always commentating on every videos stuff like, "wow, so scary how Dr. Ks videos come out RIGHT when I was just thinking about/struggling with that topic!", "This video calling me out specifically lol", "Dr.K living in my walls, has a mic/camera in my home cause this feels like it was made just for me".
These comments are so interesting to me because they're so common and on every video. And they're often top comments too.
Instead of pointing out how it's nice that other people understand what you're going through (which many people do comment), and that these feelings/situations are common, it feels to me like people seem to be trying to hold onto their..."main character status/worldview". I don't know how else to put it. It's almost like those people can't let go that they aren't super duper unique and special, so it's "so weird and wild" that every video feels like it was made just for them at the exact moment they needed it, instead of just being common emotions, thoughts, and experiences that most people face.
It's just an interesting thing to notice how self-centered we are, even when we don't consciously mean to be. Personally, it has actually helped a lot to let go of those thoughts and expectations that the world revolves around me and that I'm SO unique/special/complex that no one could possibly understand me.
idk, has anyone else noticed this or any other interesting patterns in the comments across videos?
I was thinking about the same, by my theory is that HG at this point has a big enough audience that for every video there will be someone who really needs it at the time of posting. It also can be a confirmation bias when they see the video's title and think "Oh, right, overthinking! That's what I was worried about, pog timing Dr.K!"
@@shushafox For sure. I totally agree about the popularity of HG and confirmation bias point.
I just wonder what is the point of those comments. Since they don't contribute much to the discussion or show support of others experiencing the topic.
I guess it seems to be a validation for the self? Like a congratulations to Dr.K on being relatable to ME. For coming out when it was needed for ME. I just HAD to let you know Dr. K, you made a video just in time for ME.
Don't think there is anything majorly wrong with this, but I've just grown fascinated by those comments and want to hear from other what they think about this haha.
@@Olia-ch-ka your can't stop it. As Dr K said, keep yourself away from worrying about things that you can't control. His audience is big and every topic that Dr K posts are really just general topics.
@@Olia-ch-ka as Shushafox, I also think that it's mostly due to the fact that the more relatable the video for a person, the more likely they are to leave a comment. As for why they're commenting, I think as a gamer, you skewed too much into the analytical part of things. I personally think it's about the feeling of gratitude. I've learned how much the expression of genuine gratitude can bring to your life. It basically makes *you* feel better and makes *the other person* feel better too. It's a win-win situation the majority of the times. For a lot of people gratitude can be an immense source of motivation. You can argue that ideally it would be more reasonable not to rely on external response from people, but that again is theory crafting, and as a tool, even if temporary, gratitude "dependence" just works. So, if you know the value of gratitude, you are naturally leaned towards expressing it. And that's to me what makes those people write those sorts of comments. It's the thought that I want Dr.K to know this was extremely valuable for me, because that will likely serve for him and people working with him as a positive reinforcement and in turn result in higher quality content in the future. Also it's boosting of the video through TH-cam's algorithm, which can also be the reason why people leave comments (I certainly do!). If I can't express my gratitude financially, the least I can do is to smash the like and leave a comment to help this sort of content grow on TH-cam.
What do you think? Did you consider the "gratitudal" aspect of this? What role does gratitude play in your life? What do you think is the reason you picked up on this situation from the perspective that you did? Can this be the sign of some trauma on your end, or is it me who is missing something? Let me know! I'd be glad to read! Thank *YOU* for stimulating my intellect to write this response and have a great day! 🙂👍
@@user-is6tc2iq1d
I don't feel that most of those comments come off as gratitude. "Dr. K is living in my walls/spying on my life/it's so scary that he post the exact topic I was struggling" for example doesn't have an aspect of gratitude in it.
Uh...trauma? It's not that deep.
The problem is i've had days where something was bothering me and I couldn't stop thinking about it and after hours of agonizing rumination i finally found an awesome solution to my problem and it's the greatest feeling ever. I think that's how I got hooked to overthinking :F
This is what I told someone a few years ago, a big problem that keeps the addiction of overthinking going is that 20% of the time I do get some new insight into my experience. I also believe that dopaminergic response is also involved.
I mean... I don't exactly think of overthinking as that related to the task... more q thing that happens.
happens to me sometimes, yet i end up not producing anything out of value. that does not seem like a good thing.
A person that only thinks, has nothing to think about, except thoughts.
- Man who was smarter than me
tom ampere
True unfortunately
I came in overthinking my problems. Now I’m thinking about how graphically Dr. K was using his mouth for his loose vagina analogy 😂
What I've done and still do is to throw myself out there, a self imposed exposure therapy whenever I feel down or stuck in a rut. Going out for walks and greeting people Hello with a warm smile, seeing family, etc that all helps.
Also engaging in more self-care and writing helps a tonne too when I notice I'm being a bit too selfless.
Go and experience something you've never done or seen before get into a new hobby 😊
I second this, get out there and do activities that will get you out of your comfort zone. It’s really healing for over thinkers
This is precisely why Dr. K, a genuine medical professional like you, is absolutely exceptional✨
The statement 'what's the only way that they are going to learn by actually doing something' is incredibly accurate, relevant, and practical advice for individuals in that particular phase. 😆👍 Without the background knowledge and understanding of who this advice is intended for, it would be inappropriate given the current time, period, or circumstances.
I believe this is the essence of the 'thinking' approach. The premise must align with the situation's progression and the individual's mindset, where the problem is personally recognized.
I definitely needed to hear this I overthink alot of the time in any situation when it comes to moveing forward in life. It’s pretty exhausting being in your own head createing probelms that don’t exist but can feel
extremely valid. Alot of this stems from anxiety which makes it worse than it was being able to know whats ahead of you isn’t healthy or natural it’s simply being in the present which I struggle with so hopefully therapy pays off.
Thank you for this video - I have the tendency to overthink, but am now trying to just live my life. It’s a challenge sometimes, but living out-loud is better than living inside your head.
Bro these videos DR.K has been making lately are dank. I have never seen this man talk to us so directly in the face while incorporating so much gamer lingo and analogy to help us understand. We've said it once but we'll say it again. Thank you, DR.K.
Man, I've been in a hole for months, and recently found you, about 2-3 days now. Binge-watching your videos. All I can say is that your content has helped me get my head above the waters, out the deep end. I haven't slept in over 24 hours, I have finally completed an entire spreadsheet of my goals, vision, plan, and realized how I was wrongfully mixing up my goals, which led to a complete clusterfuck. Ever since, I realized that previous goals I had like... saved on Pinterest (I know, I'm a loser), but I had like some sort of wishlist such as specific cars, watches, housing, even as far as the type of wife I wish to have (no I don't fap, and haven't fapped in the longest time, which I'm proud of, unless its E.D. and I'm numb, idk.)... so I revamped my Pinterest goals and realized how I removed most of the saved stuff and came down to exact goals, for exact periods of time, very achievable tasks, everything is properly divided, I'm high on caffeine and protein bars, and chugged about 3 liters of water, if not more.... You are awesome, man, and I can't thank you enough.
Happy for you, been on the same journey. Just remember don't do stuff for the sake of making up for lost time. Cause if you're faced by a bigger problem suddenly you've lost 2x the progress you've made and it is hard to recover from it then. As you said simple goals without blaming your past decisions is the way to go, hope I'll be able to recover from my slump. Don't mind me if you already know this, I'm writing this as a reminder to myself as its been hard couple of months for me.
@@shinydefault9588 [you don't have to read this if you don't want to, nonetheless, thanks for your kind words]
Yea, life is tough, man. I didn't have any guidance nor discipline growing up. Raised without my dad, mom worked all the time... But she didnt know any better. Its ok.
Recently, (well it's happened before, but it hit pretty hard lately) I felt like a complete waste of space. Brainstorming reasons to live, felt no purpose whatsoever, even though I have huge goals I wish to accomplish, I knew it was just my thoughts letting me know I hit a wall.
It didn't feel like rock bottom, but more like being cornered to a wall, and all I saw was a repetitive future, me not going anywhere in life. Realizing if I don't figure this out, ill be stuck here forever.
A quote that had me thinking; Anxiety is predicting failure, confidence is predicting success. I would force myself to be confident, positive, optimist again. Had me repeat it daily.
Also, turning "should" into "can". Instead of "I should be there", to "I can do this now, at the very least". Increments. The journey of 1000 miles starts with 1 step.
Been in this hole for the past 4 years, in and out of it, ups and downs, can't tell if it'll happen again... but every time I get back up it feels like I can breathe again and cool down.
Awareness is so important. At least you know what the issues are by identifying them and use will power to fix it.
It's a bit of a skill you need to learn, to be "aware", also learning how to understand how your thoughts work.
Your subconscious will throw suggestions at you every time it feels boredom, it'll beg for the "vice" it's addicted to; whether it's smoking, drinking, doing drugs, video games, "fapping", or eating sweets and spend time scrolling on Pinterest and TH-cam like I did... gotta learn to detach feelings from the work you have to do by simply saying "what can you do" instead of "what should you do", and knowing why you want to truly achieve your goals. To be productive? To reach your highest potential? etc.
So yeah, and being conscious about negative thoughts and cancel them the same moment. Cut it off and ask better questions to yourself, because you most likely know what is wrong and how to fix it.
I'm trying not to write too much because I can type all day and bore the hell out of you, hahaha. Dr K has great content, easy to understand.
I genuinely hope you figure out your issues on your side, actually update me when you do! I'm here across the screen if you need someone to talk to, no problems whatsoever 🙏
@@BIGGELATO my biggest problem with finishing this video is the realization that my biggest strength, which used to be being very logical and high IQ aka overthinking is currently my biggest disadvantage. It's a little disheartening to see that a lot of aspects of my brain are rusty because of it but it is what it is. Can't be perfect from the get go. Only way is up.
@@BIGGELATO good luck on your journey, ive kinda been facing the same problems. ive been a neet for more than a year now and even found out about dr k 2 years ago but while he has helped rationalize problems I still find myself stuck in this rut. the anxiety of running into too many dead ends just make my overthinking worse.
@@BigBootyBatman Do you feel like you got an overwhelming amount of knowledge, but it feels like things aren't quite connecting, like tying dots... So you feel like you know so much but yet you actually realize how many doors you've opened, new topics, multiple forms of guidance or info from different folks? Now knowing how much you actually don't know? It's "The Dunning-Kruger Effect". Happens often in our lives, multiple times.
Even the wisest of the wisest know just how much there is to learn, but realize what actually matters to them and what has nothing to do with them. Think of a business. You may be able to wear all the hats and reach a million bucks a year on your own, but then your next goal is 10 million, but realize the only way to get to that amount is by delegating work, because you have a finite amount of personal time, energy, and knowledge to keep up and grow 10X, so you need others to help you now.
So back to knowledge and overwhelm, there becomes a point where you eventually plateau, you hit a wall, you hit your limit of knowledge intake... what really matters now is taking action, but where do you go from here? You are still mixed up, you haven't gotten a straight answer, so?
The reason you keep going back to feeling the need to keep learning is because you haven't found the way to put action, or at least know where to start, or feeling like you're unsure of the path you want to go (destination), and still look for guidance.
Maybe you are stuck with "I SHOULD be doing this, or I SHOULD be here, but I'm here" stuck in the past, instead of thinking, "well, what can I do now? What is something minimal that I can do now? What can be my next move? What are my options?" and if negative thoughts occur, shut them off, they aren't real, your mind is simply trying to keep you immobile and safe.
Anxiety predicts failure, whereas confidence predicts success. What can you do now that could potentially feel like you're going the right way?
If I'm off, let me know. Maybe I misunderstood what you said. Nonetheless, you will figure it out inevitably, just a matter of time. Being aware is your first step, so you are on the right path.
Man your channel is a goldmine.. Im learning so much about myself after all these years of struggling.. thank you for ur service
Never been diagnosed with anything but I know I definitely overthink a lot and in social situations where I think about approaching someone, I think myself away cus of thoughts like "nah it'd be weird" amongst many other things. Been learning and trying to teach myself lately that I need to let go of my mental cage and live my life and find more connections out there and move forward without thinking so much and then later thinking again how it could've went instead of just living through whatever happened. Insightful and helpful video to better understand my own mind. Thank you
Woah !! I can’t help but feel like Dr. K is speaking directly to me - again. This video is going into my everyday Dr.K Playlist. I will try to apply his advice into my life. Btw- love how insightful, intelligent yet funny and open he is 😭😆💗❤🎉
The walking example is actually something I experienced firsthand, kind of. I spent a week at a monastery where they did walking meditation every morning, and when I first tried to walk slowly and mindfully I almost fell over. It was so surprising, and quite eye-opening. Also: Walking meditation is MAGICAL. ❤️🙏
This is so true. I had this problem with overthinking all my life since I also plan a lot of things way in advance. Took me then just one try in real life to realize that some things work, some don't and need to change. Until I tried my plan just once I was just in this endless loop of thinking about possible solutions. It's true that once you try it and get experience the solution will just come based on the feedback you get.
What helps me to concur my overthinking is to make "attempt goals".
For example, you are looking for a job, and you can count every interview as some kind of achieved goal of trying. You tried and you were great already! If they hire you that's great if no just keep searching.
It's like doing push-ups to grow your chest: counting every rep is a win is much more motivating than looking in the mirror and trying to see muscle growth
Omg Dr K, I'm so glad you talked about Go since your platform is so big!! It's such a fun game and I hope more people can learn about it! I first learned about it when I read Hikaru No Go as a kid.
Absolutely loved this video. The concept of losing a hundred go games as fast as possible is wonderful-reminds me of the idea that every painter has a hundred lousy paintings in them so it's best to get through them as quickly as possible. Saved this video to revisit later to remind myself to adopt a bias toward action.
I asked my friend for feedback awhile back, on what she thinks is wrong with me. She told me, very bluntly, that I was an overthinker. Suprisingly, I thought about what she said the whole day! At the end I realized I *was* an overthinker. I was overthinking her statement. I didn't expect it to be true, that's why I thought, throughout the day, If am I really an overthinker.
Thanks Dr.K - I'll try to follow the advise you have said in this video!
I overthink because I've dealt with too many underthinkers who are dead wrong about stuff; I learned to stop trusting their judgement, peer pressure, and silencing tactics.
"underthinkers " - first time I've seen this word :)
The underthinkers be tilting you into a overthinker
the problem is underthinking leads to a less stressful happier life, im a chronic overthinker and its horrendous
Wow, this is what I needed to listen to. Thinking won't solve my problems, I have to take action and learn and experience things in order.
Dr K you are amazing with these boys. They need you so much and your work is very important. Thank you!!!
A Dr K video is never late, nor is it early; it arrives precisely when it needs to.
Dr K is a wizard confirmed
Here is what I typically do when I face overthinking and creating obstacles for myself. I write this down for every new obstacle I overthink off . Here is an example.
Experience: Initiating a group activity with friends
Obstacle: Uncertainty about their interest and availability
Evidence: Successfully organizing and engaging friends in the group activity, leading to enjoyable experiences and strengthened friendships.
Then I write these down on my notes, so I can go back to it and remind my brain the evidence of overcoming the obstacle and the outcome.
The walking example, that hit really close to home. For years I've been stuck. I was really good at most things I tried, yet one day I did the analogous thing as in the walking example but with thinking itself. I started thinking about thinking and the recursive nature of that left my brain in a permanent state of OCD and rumination that has only gotten worse with the years. Right now I have some sort for desperation to reset my brain to its state a few years ago. It all just happened in a matter of minutes, I was never the same again.
I needed this so much. Thanks. You are amazing
Speaking from my own experience, the theoretical world in our heads is a safe place. From a young age I withdrew from my abusive enviroment into books and ideas. There I was strong, I was safe. When you get skilled at withdrawing from pain into your own mind, it runs the risk of becoming a maladaptive behavior. It protected you once when you couldn't control your enviroment, but now you have to let it die by recognizing its negative impact and becoming more aware of it when it happens.
Great wisdom, thanks!!
The fact that most of Dr. K's videos seem tailor-made for me makes me realize how much work on myself I still have to do...
I tend to get bitter at the folks in my life who say 'stop thinking about it so much,' in pretty much any context. It has always felt like an invasion of privacy, like, how the hell do you know what I'm thinking? I'm the only one in my head.
but in reality, my facial expressions and body language tell a story that I cannot control through 'theorycrafting.' I've grown to resent it when someone tells me to 'try thinking less,' but I believe that these people have always been trying to help me. I will try to notice when these feelings bubble up, and recognize the origin of why I'm upset
I guess... but some alternatives...
* Make a decision
* Write something down
the biggest hurdle is being defensive rather than realizing people often want to help
i literally was just looking at your overthinking videos because i needed advice. 13 hours later you post this.
dude your videos are literal therapy for me everytime
This is so valuable... Thank you!
Great video! I'll think about it!
I'm so in love with the theories I make up in my mind that I frequently continue them even when faced with repeated failures in the real world. Sometimes I attempt a particular strategy in a relationship.... I know ahead of time that this approach has failed say 100 times in a row, but I still have a fundamental disagreement with reality where I hope the 101's or 1001'st time will work differently. Then when I inevitably fail I frequently blame the other person, or the system, or society.
Dr K the mind reader!! He knows! Overthinking rarely leads to success and this has been an issue my life! Thank you sir!
Thznk you! Simply 'doing things' really does cut it.
Been desperately needing this video!
Such a great video, you nailed it
My problem is that I thought about not being able to speak in public for so long now that I’ve been actively in AA and Celebrate Recovery for a year now and I’ve only been able to share twice. Even when I really want to. I almost can’t tell the difference in my body between a growling dog in the room and sitting in the room with people sharing feelings. I want to run but I don’t. I thought continuing to go would help me get over it but I am still frozen unless I’m literally called on. Somehow I can talk then…sometimes….
Doing good though, 13+ mo sober and this channel has helped so much with my journey!!! 😅😊
I understood this through Tabletop RPGs as games. But I can see applications in many parts of life. Thank you🙏
This is great advice, thank you for making this video.
excellent video. I needed this.
Outside of baking and having to stick to the correct cooking temps, a recipe is really a guideline. You can add or subtract things to your taste.
I really wish I can find a way to apply this methodology to real life. The uncertainty is what scares me and what causes my brain to run a bunch of scripts and scenarios to the point of overwhelming myself with *nothing*.
Thanks, I appreciate this video!
When I was young I always would think and think without doing anything.
Thanks for the video!
Great video!
Top notch content. Thank you 🙏
I always thought that keep thinking and thinking about something would always help me but since I discovered these terms like overthinking and social anxiety it makes so much more sense now about that things that I ve been thru😢
Literally the title of this video has been in my head all day and then he releases this like how does he always know???
"Overthinking over analyzing separates the body from the mind"
This line from the song Lateralus always stands out to me. Tool have some of the best lyrics out there.
I'm guilty of overthinking to the point where I overthinking irl and in-game. It gets to the point where I would spend hours overthinking which class/character to play/main than actually playing the game.
Irl I overthink almost everything to the point where it's hard to move forward with certain goals or/and situations. I'm even overthinking rn while writing this wondering/worrying what people will think of it lol. It's truly a living nightmare.
Paired with second guessing every action and wondering if it was the right choice or not it's a lot. Either way this video has helped bring light to the problem and also a very powerful solution.
So again, thank you
I know all about over-thinking. I've been working on myself over the past couple of years in terms of rumination and worrying (the past and the future that are done and don't exist yet). I've been making progress. One thing I wonder about, that doesn't always come up in these sorts of nuggets of advice, is what to do if you "believe" the opposite of the advice. You "believe" you aren't smart/can't do something; you "believe" that worrying will help you avoid problems; etc. You probably aren't stupid; you probably can do something; and worrying won't help stop things from happening. How do you change that belief?
Insightful. I'll try it out.
My sister struggles with this and i had no idea how to help her. I'm gonna listen to this rn!! thank you so mucj
So, there's overthinking and then there is the opposite problem of action bias. I haven't seen anyone discuss the way to balance against both of these and to tell when you are doing one versus the other. It would be nice to have a video on that.
What’s action bias if you don’t mind me asking?
@@ProtossOP Probably involves mindlessly taking actions.
Love this! And such a great message. Overthinking can stop us from ever trying sometimes too... Most people will not do something unless they think they can do it right/perfectly. But just trying can lead to great improvements due to the learning experience! 💯💯
incredible timing 🙏
Bro, I was just overthinking my problems WTH 💀
love your advice Dr K :3
Ha... The funny thing is before I even watch this video, I simply paused it so I could think about how to properly do my shift coming up...
And I was doing exactly what he described, overthinking it all.
Once again, a great video.
I'm fully convinced that the 'K' on this man's name is an abbreviation for 'Knows' because he aways releases this videos when I need then the most.
thank you doc, i've been going through a lot recently with my business (over 500K+ in debt) and your videos have been invaluable in dealing with them mentally, again thanks doc
Makes sense, I love thinking and most people would call it overthinking. I love thinking stuff through etc and it is not a means to an end for me, I enjoy the process, However if I want to get things done then I have to stop myself from thinking further than a certain point/amount about things. It just isn't productive if the goal is to get the things done.
Lukily I really enjoy the thinking process so I don't see overthinking as wasted time, but kinda like a hobby. However it is seriously counterproductive if you only do the thinking to solve your problems. Then doing something and failing and adapting is much more useful than only thinking about it
Without exception, every single success story has strong and essential elements of luck.
Intelligence and hard work are the most venerated, yet the least important.
Good parenting
Hard work is the LEAST important?
G, this is why you're not rich
That is pure cope, whichever way you put it
@@suqma Be born in Kenya and get no access to an education and you'll never earn a million dollars even if you work 24 hours a day. Amazon was created incidentally, so was TH-cam, Facebook, dozens of billion dollar companies were projects created with very little effort that just so happened to coincede with the appearance of a certain niche.
That said modern people, especially the younger generations, do tend to overexert the influence of luck.
@@user-qt2bm2ke8d honestly
Obviously if you're born in kenya or somewhere, you're fucked, bu anyone in a 1st world country is just coping hard
And for luck to be there, you have to be there too
Insightful video ❤
this helps me look at my shitty behaviour today like it was a learning experience... Now I know not to stand in the middle of a photo, and just go with the flow. I see being proactive as a success for me, I really hated being passive and silent.
In my experience, sometimes the best way to get to the solution of a problem is to forget about it, relax, and the solution might come on it's own
Typed then deleted like a billion possible comments so I'm just gonna say great video
Very apt subject for me today..
I am proud to say that this second video of the search on this topic has fast presenting speed.
This is true. When I did my driver license I've always thought about what I'm doing wrong why I can't figure out the clutch this that. I overthinked and it lead to me being frustrated angry all those emotions which blocked me from actually learning fast
How is this man such a God????? Really needed to hear this
Will overthinking solve my problems? Let me think about it...
Its unfortunate that so many of us learned from a young age that failure is not an acceptable outcome in any situation, therefore we came to the conclusion that we had to solve every problem in our heads beforehand to "guarantee" success, and if a successful outcome cant be found, then we dont try at all
the exact video I need now tbh
One thing I can think of that, thinking about it makes it harder in the moment, is talking to people. Trying to have a conversation when you’re thinking about it, or self conscious, it makes it REALLY hard to actually do.
It’s even worse if you’re self conscious of it, it’s like your brain fixates on it, making it super hard to STOP thinking about it
damn dr k you are such a gift to people
sometimes its hard to get specific experiences to learn something. this is where it gets "easier" to just think about it. A common trap some people fall in.
I'm finally doing it, I go in my head destroy the garbage, still overthink (I go all the way untill I reach the end of thuoght just like he thought us and write so many many pages, don't give up don,t tear your notes keep them edit them all your annwers are there.)
but come back out with small AND big tasks and do most of them
the meds help also been fixing my diet and exercise rutine
and shit ton of doctor k videos untill I became my own coach
I'm like half homeless now cause I movef out of a toxic family but I will make it.🤜🏽