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That would be amazing! (I wish I knew then what I know now. If I had learned about narcissists at a young age, then it wouldn't have gone on for my whole life with my narcisstic mother.)
Yes, I am starting to agree with this sentiment after this experience! She her illusion had my heart hurting. But she was clearly lying and telling half truths lacking the details for sure! It was always something was off when interacting with her.
@@bostonbutterfly4473 I'm very blessed to live alone and not feel alone. It's a great place to be in. I hope that very soon, you'll be in the same position.
i have an illness called major depressive disorder. Its caused by Chronic lyme disease…My narc spouse hates it that HE cannot MAKE ME happy. he literally becomes fits of rage When im crying or having an episode….When Im sad and depressed, it angers him, because OF COURSE its all about HIM, HE did something wrong to MAKE ME depressed….well, not initially, but now that he’s making himself the victim when its ME who is havin a very diff time w/sadness….he is so so so very incredibly SELF CENTERED..SORRY to say, but after 39years, i hate him.
@@1timeslime971 I’m so sorry to hear that. Crazy bc I’ve had untreated Lyme for over 20 years now. It’s in the late disseminated stage. It’s killing us slowly…ppl just don’t understand. We have a systemic infection running rampant in our bodies. I feel for you and pray for you. Looks like you need to take the first opportunity you get and leave this clown. You need some 1 empathetic & understanding. Prayers 🙏🏻💚🙏🏻
@@1timeslime971you sure it’s depression or is your body rejecting your husband. As soon as I got divorced I never got sick again. Been two years since I caught illnesses or felt pain
They withhold to bait you by keeping you confused and in fog until you become frustrated . They’ll hold that frustration against you and say to you and everyone else you’re confrontational or argumentative
The MOST POWERFUL man that ever lived was gentle 95% of the time. He didn't use anyone for $, or anything else, and died for all. Narcissists are the opposite. They are evil.
Baby!!!! This man withheld everything. From sex, affection, attention, money. They withhold any and everything they think will hurt you. Thinking you will come crawling back. I did at first when I didn't know about narcissist. After I learned the game his withholding became my healing. It gave me time to heal and get away from him.
I fell out of love when he cheated over and over and he lied about everything even stupid stuff like my parents love you ... They actually didn't so why not just say that?
Your talking to the wall. Doctors lawyers judges marriage councilors friends children NONE OF THEM HAVE A CLUE WHAT and who these monsters are. NARCISSISTS RULE. ITS SCARRY.
I deserve BETTER! I married a guy who was so sweet and kind. About a year later he started saying things…like threats if I didn’t have sex whenever he wanted then he would divorce me. I thought it was odd because I didn’t ever turn him down. Then it was other threats. I felt like I was losing my mind. I started Therapy and started learning about Narcissism. That’s when I decided to start threatening him back. I’m still here and with him. And he doesn’t do it to me anymore except on occasion. I own our business that he runs. He knows better now. If he starts acting out I just remind him. He doesn’t like that at all. These are SICK PEOPLE. Know the signs before you date or get married! It’s really a Spiritual problem. You either belong to GOD or Satan. Get that straight first and ask God to intervene! 🙏🏻
My narcissist used to do the passive aggressive thing, and sing songs which contain the lyrics of what he was accusing me of doing / saying. For example, if he thought I was lying to him, he would sing "Send me an Angel" ' Don't tell a lie. Don't be false or untrue it all comes back to you'
@@judicox5559 😭 thank you for taking the time to post this comment bc I've been up for days feel like I'm losing my mind and the neverending whistles of songs to deliver a message and everything of that nature while acting stupid whenever I ask him to stop.... I'm broken bc I know my children probably think I'm crazy but have no clue the torture I'm enduring to protect them... bc when I don't give in he goes after my children and I no longer know why to do
Yes, it is. A systematic way of torturing... And the thing about it is it's specific to you. So no one else even understands or nose what he's doing except the two of you. Even a certain look that he would give me when other people were around to make me react, and sometimes I did. So then it just looks like I was going crazy on him for no reason. And during this time I also had cancer so I was in a lot of pain. Anyway. I had cervical cancer which he used to blame on me saying it was because I had too much sex when I was younger. How insane is that?
But I am so sorry that he visits out upon your children! I had two parents that were diagnosed with MPD in their late '50s early. '60s mother was a covert narcissist and daddy wasn't overt narcissist
1) Narcissists enjoy manipulating and controlling others, including withholding certain things to torment their victims. 2) They withhold affection as a form of punishment and to maintain control in the relationship. 3) Narcissists may withhold the truth or not tell the entire truth, which can include omitting important details. 4) They may withhold sex as a form of control and to torment their partners. 5) Narcissists may withhold resources, such as money, information, or emotional support, as a way to maintain power and control in a situation.
Yes he wouldn't show me any affection. Withheld sex then just laughed and left me crying. Evil . Kicked him out after 6 years of hell . So happy to be free . No man will destroy me again.
Keep up your good work with healing. Thank you for explaining this so others understand that it is not your fault. It's extremely painful and life threatening.
Hurt. Greive the perceived loss. Move forward. They never existed as you wanted to see them. You'd never chase a snake that bit you, to ask it why. Just know that's what a snake does. Educate yourself, be kind to yourself. Give it time. It gets so much better!❤
I'm a behaviorist. Behaviorists are uniquely perturbed by narcissists because we can see this whole other set of Motivating Operations that are governing a separate, unique set of behaviors which include lying, misleading, and withholding the truth. The MO conditions are unique and special to the narcissist's ongoing behavior and perceived needs. Behaviorists see these conditions that lead to the pathological/compulsive lying by narcissists...and it is SO painful to witness
I deserve better! Learned I was dating one and didn't realize it till the end putting all the signs together. The love bomb is serious especially if you been single for a while. Be careful in this world, be stronger than them. They hate that!
Sometimes, wife folds her lips in when i try to kiss her, so i am not kissing her lips....i thought it was maybe because she just put on chapstic or something, but when i asked her about it, she made a nasty remark or something and walked away. Very strange behavior right?
I can relate to the affection withholding! She love/lust bombed the hell out of me! Then pulled it back the minute I asked some questions about something she was clearly lying about!
I have gone thru so much with my nar, it ain't even funny. Actually he taught me how to treat him. Now I'm strong . I always say , who's fooling who. If that make any sense. When he or she going thru there craziness, just repeat the Lord's prayer out loud.
@@cjennings5031 l am a Pagan. What is worrying me is that l yelled 'l hope you die' after months of him torturing me, hitting me, making me crazy crying. THEN a month after l said that he was shockingly diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He has no hope of recovery. I am a Pagan HEALER.....not an executioner. He made my life an absolute HELL on earth. Now l am healing myself. Love to you ALL here. 💕💞💕💞
Few months ago, I went out of town one weekend w my kids, took them down to the beach. He called me Fri night to make sure we arrived safely. My kids and I were in the indoor pool area - so it was hard to hear, I told him I’d call him back. Well…i didn’t call him back until Saturday night. And WOW…ever since then, he has withdrawn from me. Like I’m being punished.
You are sooo right!!!Sounds like my soon to be ex. I am sick of it, its Wednesday and because he is mad, no affection, no communication, no sex, nothing since Sunday 😢. I am looking to move, almost 6 years of this and i am over it.
How do I understand you. Been there too here. Almost 4 years- after child'th birth. That is why it was bot easy to concentrate on the topic ir getaway easily. Finally, in 2022, released: I don't want any s. Relationships anymore I was glaring: finally it is clear!!! After that: the emotional swing: let me hug you. I didn't mean that. But no further actions taken. I knew nothing of the narcissism back then... Finally, when I started looking for my own apartment to rent:I realised, I want a family with you, I need us. No getting back to the topic within a few weeks. Further: a comment to our relative: I don't like her. She is wearing such an improper clothing at home. The day after, trying to hug me and being asked by me to get away- Why don't you let me? Who am I living with?? Where shall I go... If not for shared custody and lack of a free housing for herself, I would go long time ago. Planning how to make means to get away.
Thay are full of rage that' s why they try to make you emotional and insane. They like negativity and conflicts because they are full of it and can' t stand your positivity or peace.
Omg, my partner did exactly this to me ,only a few weeks ago, she took a rather casual photo of me in a local bar, refused to send it to me, then asked what I wanted it for ? She then defaced it, before sending it to me, with a stupid hat and moustache on the photo, I hate having my photo taken ! She did eventually send me the original after weeks of drama.
My ex narc never wanted to take pics together. Claimed he didn’t like taking pics yet he’d post pics of himself n with others on his social media all the time. He didn’t want to take pics with me or acknowledge I even existed. Such an asshole looking back.
I was married for 26 years but he withheld sex for the last 5 or more years. I didn't know what a narsisist was but I learned quickly, and the hard way. I read every book, took every class, and went to counseiing. when I tried to discuss it with him, he admitted that withholding sex was the only way he cuold control me. I left that relationship with no self esteem at all, even thought I'd lost 67 pounds and looked the best I had since high school. In my opinion, a man that would treat his wife that way is the cruelest and most evil person on earth. I had opportunities to cheat but I didn't. My reputation and relationship with the Lord meant more to me than getting back at him. He lost a good deal. I was June Cleaver in training and treated him better than he deserved. You are brave, you are beautiful.
Your videos have been invaluable throughout my journey of co-parenting with a narcissist. Thank you for all that you do and for helping me to understand that it’s not me who is the crazy one. I can’t wait to read your new book. ❤️
The ex a covert narcissist is ADDICTED to terrorize, torment and try to make me squirm! He tries and tries even rt now however I’m ignoring him 100%. While together yes he withheld affection allot versus when we first got together the affection was astronomical. I was duped! I was sucker punched! He has NO capability to truly be affectionate.
@@RebeccaZungEsq I’ve had to submit complaints for cyberbullying to the FBI on him and his friends. Also submitted evidence to state attorney for violating my injunction again. Filed charges on his friend for physically assaulting me AND security is alerted as well as sheriffs everytime im at venues I work at. Have security added double fold for Feb 4th and mar 4th. He shows they will arrest!!!
He was my first love and he really took advantage of that, I did not understand why he did this but it made me weak and he smiled when he cause me this pain. Denied all his attempt to hoover me back. I deserve better.
I've been married for 20 years to my husband and we've been together for 29 years. I met him when I was 17 years old and he was 21. Well to make it short for about the past 10 years after birth of our 4rth child he has been withholding emotional intimacy. He says I don't deserve to be kissed anymore because of lying about partying with my friends when I was in college. During college he was very controlling so i wouldn't tell him when I went out with friends just to dance. I'm a dancer and it's a passion for me. So recently he has been extremely enraged about it. He hugs me goodbye only when I'm leaving the house with the boys as if to make himself look like a great loving husband in front of the kids. About a year ago my youngest son noticed how he withholds money from me and he stated mommy when I grow up I'm going to give you money all the time. Our oldest daughters have also noticed thing about him they are 21 and 19. We have 4 children. My oldest son is 14 and was just recently granted a birthday party when he turned 14. He goes so far as to not allow me to plan parties for our children. It's getting to the point recently that I suffered with suicidal thoughts from his torture. He's always accusing me of cheating or wanting other men. I've been faithful this whole time. I also cant talk with my Pastor because he and His wife have narcissistic tendancies as well. I don't know what to do besides secrectly plan to disappear with our youngest children and that's not realistic I'm not financially able to leave. I cry all the time and listen to music about God's love for me because what I know about Jesus he withholds nothing and doesn't shame us of our past or accuse us. He also constantly asking me what's wrong but when I share to him how he's making me feel about withholding intimacy he turns it around on me and blames me because of college 22 years ago. And want to know every detail of the parties I cant even recall. I refuse to talk about it because it just makes him more enrage. He says I hurt him and I'm trying to figure out why he even married me if the whole time he believes Im cheating and accusing me of wanting other men. It makes no sense and and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Recently I read about Leah on the Bible and I feel my life mirrors hers in alot of ways. He also has been emotionally involved with female coworkers 3 that I can name. 2 have visited our church . One actually placed her child in our church camp and was extra flirty on a trip to Disney World and he admitted to meeti her on a Sat to change her tire and kissed her but denies now that that happened it was when my second daughter was a year old. The other recently visited our church and he walked all the way to her side agter church and embrassed her. I was so ashamed. And he says it was nothing. I never felt so hurt and when I called him out on it he argued with me about my college days 20 something years ago as to why he did it. I'm so over him now and I'm battling regret thinking I made a wrong life choice. Also his older brother 30 years ago was stabbed by his girlfriend at the age of 20. His brother was physically abusive to her so the police did not arrest the woman. His brother died and he was there. So I feel his issues and hate towards me are a result of that trauma I also believe he is stuck me tally as a 18 year old when that happened. He will be 49 this year. I have mentioned this to him and he gets really upset and angered and says I lack compassion but he is still grieving its hard for me to grieve his brother because I never met him. When I met my husband he was stalking the girlfriend who killed the brother and had lots of rage toward her I convinced him to stop doing that and he did. So there were so many red flags but a 17 year old is too too blind to see these things then. I know I made my bed in hell but God is with me. All I do is pray and he also has asked me to stop praying and calling on Jesus name. This has been exhausting just reflecting on all this pain.
It would be a good idea for you to find another church with kinder pastor and wife. If you can't go to your pastor to look for help, you're in the wrong church. In not talking about the denominational, but that particular church. Hi OnLive and find one close by, and read the reviews, try it, go to the pastor with a small issue, to text how he deals with you. You deserve better, pay the game life I did, until my kids were 18 and of to college, because I wouldn't want have left that evil person alone with my young, innocent children. So, I divorced myself emotionally, stopped expecting things from him. I no longer cared, and I lived that way for a while - So, I no live saw him as my partner, husband, on my side. I just survived, played the game like a video game. I kept learning about narcissists, and keep strong. Then be prepared, with enough money to retain a lawyer, and leave, never to return. Good luck!!! 🌷
It's not fair to bring up the past constantly and never let it go. You are in a battle and there is no longer love. When it gets to this stage, one is actually getting dopamine from engaging in this conflict. They can't stop themselves. Somethings got to give. I'm glad the Lord is looking after you. Maybe the right therapist could help you navigate these waters.
@@chelly77 you are valuable & loved- pls go to a women’s abuse center in private & learn & get support to strengthen you . I am so sorry , I also was tormented & nearly destroyed by one of these minions of satan- knowledge is power here, & din’t let go of your faith, never stop using Jesus name! You deserve support , please don’t let this lethal parasite deprive you of the life God gave you, and your kids need you . 🙏🏼
I'm a very good woman I'm a empath and he is always trying to pick a fight and gaslight me and holler and curse at me then he comes home and he is so sweet and loving but I have my garden up and I'm aware of his ways thank you Rebecca for helping me with this
I deserve better!!! Withholding sex was the last straw! I thought it might be a prostate disfunction on his part -then I found he was just being mean. 😢
It is about power / control of the other person. Had some of that stuff done to me. I got professional help and gained the knowledge and tools, that way I could make an informed decision that was in my best interests. Thank goodness I recorded a lot of stuff and played that - once the people I hired to "check me out" heard those recordings, they knew straight away what was going on. If they had not heard those recording, I would have got the wrong information and help.
@sheilamusker-lovett4472 you are so right. I now know it’s for a lot of reasons1 they have no feelings for us. 2 they enjoy watching us suffer 3 they are very sick
I know the feeling! Get out ASAP! Don't waste another minute of your precious life! Don't lose your own sanity, and you will every second you stay there. Take it from me, I stayed for 40 years, abuse only gets worse.
I’m currently with a narcissist and I am at my limit. I did not know he was a narcissist until after being together for four years and getting married now I’m with a man that I did not sign up to be with wondered for years. Why can’t my husband just do the things that he knows will make me happy why if I say up he says down if I say left, he says right This man did everything in his power and still does the thing that’s gonna disappoint me rather than the thing that’s gonna make me happy. Until right now I finally get it. I already knew that he enjoyed driving me crazy and I think this is all part of it. He loves seeing me. He loves seeing me lose my mind. I’ve only listen to the first thing you said, but I can also tell you that a narcissist they withhold sex, intimacy, really just any form of empathy, caring and I would ask my husband why don’t you wanna have sex with me and he would never give me a reason ever which made me feel unwanted and disgusting and stupid for being turned down constantly. I’ve stayed with this man through so much abuse, I need to get out of this relationship
I'm crying listening to this because it's my entire relationship being told to me by someone that doesnt know me. The things that are driving me crazy and sending me into the worst depression ive ever had and its all just a game ro someone. I believe im a magnet for narcissists truely. I found out way to late what a narcissist truly was and the things they do. I didnt understand what was happening and lost my baby to this nutjob and have been fighting for my 1 and only child for the past 2 years. It amazes me the things her father says and does and people just believe him and im the devil but none of it is true. I finally feel comfortable enough to take a chance with someone just to find ive met far worse and I hadnt seen a thing yet. No one has ever made me feel bad about myself or doubt who i am. No one has ever made me feel like im fat or ugly cant do anything right and just so unwanted until this guy that started off great. Now i havent seen him in days, he doesn't touch me, we are sleeping different rooms, he lies lies les, and im crazy and being clingy, BUT if im down to bring a friend then he's all for it. Like im just not good enough alone. Im in a nightmare that just wont end.
Walk away. Choose you. Choose elf love and self respect. Break away and heal. You can do it. You are worth it. Don't say anything. Just make plans and do it.
I am going to walk away and l am 76. It's heartbreaking. My Narc husband has cancer. He wants to live with me still, altogether he is vile to me. I have no strength to fight
@juliettecrossley4864 I forgot all about this comment, but reading it just brought back so many negative things I was dealing with then and still to this day. Now I'm simply an atm he doesn't touch and really has no respect for. Unfortunately his bestfriend is worse than him and I have to deal with his bs as well. I just want to be left alone. I have no more feelings for these people. His bestfriend pretended to be am amazing friend and support to me but come to find out that's thee true demon. People can't be this nuts it's amazing.
I feel like I'm the only one you can perfectly understand your every word and I am so greatful I understand most people can not recognize a genius when they see one and you definitely are one as I have said before
I deserve soooo much better! Also beware It is "Mine" Me syndrome. As well as they claim that they bought this and that when you obviously have a receipt on the item.
Wow my husband is the same way ( my car ,my house,my things . He has a building full of expensive bought things for him . I might get something to ( cook) with on my birthday. What a joke!!!
I deserve better. My Mothee deserved better too. I believe my Father is a covert narc. He withheld sex for 19 years and that stalemate only ended after Mum died. He was keen to start dating again on the first anniversary of her death.
Thanks for providing these helpful videos.I always addressed my covert narc wife with a term of endearment, while she would just call me by my first name 90% of the time. She methodically increased the excuses to avoid sex to the point of total physical abandonment. The process was ridiculous with me staying up for hours attempting foreplay, waiting for that "maybe later" to happen, foolishly trying to gently out argue the "is that all you want me for," or listening to some form of criticism or absurd accusation as she made it clear she was going to just lay there and make sure there would be no moment of intimacy and I would just give up trying, As the 20 yrs got worse and I got more mentally exhausted of being the only one investing or attempting intimacy, we have three children and feel deeply entrenched in a toxic marriage, I no longer even try and sure enough....she has not attempted or made any gestures of intimacy towards me. I'm trying to understand how this is possible as I work from home and know that she's not cheating, how can she not have any physical/intimacy desires. Looking back, it was always me who initiated all intimacy except for when she was trapping me (at the very beginning)....I can't believe I didn't have enough self-esteem, awareness, or wisdom to see it earlier...I truly blamed myself and was made to feel at fault for a massive amount of her unhappiness even though logically that unhappiness was already there when I met her...After all, I would be her loving hero and everything would turn out wonderful....never thought that I was being manipulated and set up to be used for so many years. I don't think it's healthy to be like this, anything I care about is dismissed, all joys seem to get critiqued into misery, zero praise and zero encouragement (not sure how I've survived this long), I'm responsible for everything, so many things are challenged and second guessed, to have supported her for all these years and to have no trust is painful, and I'm seeing significant signs of emotional damage/changes to my daughters. Now that is also being blamed on me.... Not sure how to untangle this mess...
Oh, man... I fully sympathize with you. What a painful situation. I admire your awareness of all that is going on, and your honesty with yourself and with us here. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish for you to find true love with someone new, someone caring, someone who will like you for who you are, exactly how you are. ❤
I have been in your situation and she will never change, nor will she ever give you a sincere apology. I tried therapy and eventually realized she wouldn't change. Do yourself a favor and get out as soon as you can. Leave and have minimal contact with her. It isn't an easy thing to do but it is the only way you can heal.
I have been in your situation and she will never change, nor will she ever give you a sincere apology. I tried therapy and eventually realized she wouldn't change. Do yourself a favor and get out as soon as you can. Leave and have minimal contact with her. It isn't an easy thing to do but it is the only way you can heal.
I deserve better!!!! I've been through it all. I just recently discovered that my wife of 18 years is a narcissist. I didn't understand why she would treat me so bad, withhold intimacy and sex. She would be just horrible to me, wouldn't ever talk to me about anything serious in regards to us. We have two children together and she's left me on seven different occasions without even letting me know where she's at or who she's with. I'm sure that she's made everyone believe that I'm just a horrible person but infact it's just the opposite!! I'm crushed . I've trusted her when she would leave our family and be gone seems like forever. I always felt like she was cheating on me with someone else but now I'm finding out that narcissist always cheat on you with multiple people. I'm beyond sick. All those years down the drain.
Withholding affection almost killed me with my covert Narc ex , because my mother is a covert and cold like a dead fish. My ex is a porn addict-btw: he said I shouldn't take it personal so I struggle with saying we shouldn't take it personal. It is, because Narcs don't mistreat everyone. So, my Ex wanted sex, but he withheld anything I asked him for what I liked in bed. He didn't touch or caress me and he didn't want to be touched. So it ended almost like I satisfied him in 90% of the cases and I didn't want Sex, any longer. Which is quite weird because I wasn't like this in earlier relationships. Btw: I blamed those sexual issues I developed in this relationship on my perimenopause and I still struggle with sexual-abuse like issues years later and though being in an amazing relationship now. Blaming myself for everything came in handy for him, I guess. Also he didn't help in the house. I asked him to clean the dishes a few times, he set the whole kitchen under water and told me he has issues coordinating, so I always did it myself.
Thank you for your insight/wisdom. I’m exiting a five year stint with a narcissist. I don’t just throw that word around. Once you experience someone like this you understand the seriousness of “narcissist”. I still have two months before moving out. I’d rather leave asap, but not possible. I’m concerned about an escalation of her tactics as the date gets closer and she sees I’m serious. Right now her tactics are subtle, but I know how far she’s gone before. What I don’t know is how far she’s willing to go. Praying for a way to have my life back without losing it. LiveRightToday
I DESERVE BETTER. 23, going 24 years, and I hit my awakening, I guess. Took me long enough, didn't it? I honestly believe that this demon thought that I would never get sick and tired of the whole game and would never leave. I am 53 and he took all of my good years. My pretty years, they're all gone. You can't get those years back. I am ready to start healing. All i seem to do is cry and be in such heavy, deep soul wrenching pain in my heart bc i still love this person that I KNOW does NOT love me the same and simply cant and wont. The pain causes physical heart pangs too. I wish he could feel this, if only for a second.
The legal profession needs more attorneys like you. Most judges and lawyers don't understand the narcissistic manipulation and it's very difficult, especially if there's children involved, for a spouse or mother of children to extricate themselves in a court of law because the narcissist is so clever at the manipulation.
Best thing is to break the trauma bond and find a supportive system of trusted friends and carefully selected new friends. Thoroughly enjoy your time with them ( it drives my narc husband mad when I talk and laugh a lot with my friends on the phone ). But keep them away from your home or your 🐊 will swallow them alive, ie steal them and turn them against you. Narcs are extremely good at this.
And soon after that when you stop paying attention to him, I decided to open up a I’m monarch butterfly habitat and my time went to that and he just cried telling everybody. Oh he just suffered for five years well that’s because it was narcissistic injury. That’s what it was.
Narc boss brought me in, abandoned my training within the first month, had me go stay for extended periods for “training” that didn’t happen, withheld information details about performing specific tasks and then let me make a mistake and shamed me for it; didn’t let me know he needed particular info for something and then when he wasn’t prepared blamed his failure in me (I’m still trying to learn a very complicated new job!) Then fired me after I’d spent a bunch of money for lodging to be there for training and now I have to go after him to abide by the law and reimburse me. I felt stupid, confused, incapable, lazy, emotional the entire time (Exocet for what must’ve been the first three weeks of boss love bombing?)
11:34 I've been fighting my husband's wrongful conviction for the last 22 years and while researching his case, I see how narcissistic many individuals are and how covertly narcissistic the entire justice system is...
Mine didn’t withhold sex, but told me I was the one that had to initiate it all the time. But also told me they had PTSD from a previous assault…. Which made me extra conscious about initiating sec…
Do you want to know more about the things that narcissists do to control and torment you? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com
I'll see you all there!
..and sometimes you can hear their Evil Laugh...I think they share cos' they think we're not listening!!!
ha ha Oh contraire!!!!
I saw too late Thatcher I can join the free webinar.
Happy. Valentine my. Love. Ok Rebecca 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
Eeeeeeeeeee oh yeeeeeh , May farhiasfloweryounger wife young women young madam hold the betttttter the good the benefits decepline caring love
the communications along with builder is there any Reasons is the Right value and benefits company in thesee caseses Respects And sooooo on Extltyyloveplenty soooo differents ways Absutttlyyyyyy this is wonderful must learn life. yeeeeeeh live life fulyyyyyyy is Nonnono .There is A test sometime.but soooo learning yeeeh yeeeeh
Children need to be educated about this in schools to prevent them wasting their time and lives with these vile people
That would be amazing! (I wish I knew then what I know now. If I had learned about narcissists at a young age, then it wouldn't have gone on for my whole life with my narcisstic mother.)
The problem with that is most of the world that is in power are narcissists. 😬
Right? Narcs 101 🤣
AGREE 👍 💯
I see this comment on almost every video. I've even left one myself. I'm keen to start discussing steps and plans to make this a reality
I think being alone seems to be a better option.
It is!
100%
Yes, I am starting to agree with this sentiment after this experience! She her illusion had my heart hurting. But she was clearly lying and telling half truths lacking the details for sure! It was always something was off when interacting with her.
I’d give anything to live alone. 😩
@@bostonbutterfly4473
I'm very blessed to live alone and not feel alone. It's a great place to be in. I hope that very soon, you'll be in the same position.
Anytime he sees me happy he literally gets angry. I smile 24/7 😁
i have an illness called major depressive disorder. Its caused by Chronic lyme disease…My narc spouse hates it that HE cannot MAKE ME happy. he literally becomes fits of rage When im crying or having an episode….When Im sad and depressed, it angers him, because OF COURSE its all about HIM, HE did something wrong to MAKE ME depressed….well, not initially, but now that he’s making himself the victim when its ME who is havin a very diff time w/sadness….he is so so so very incredibly SELF CENTERED..SORRY to say, but after 39years, i hate him.
@@1timeslime971 I’m so sorry to hear that. Crazy bc I’ve had untreated Lyme for over 20 years now. It’s in the late disseminated stage. It’s killing us slowly…ppl just don’t understand. We have a systemic infection running rampant in our bodies. I feel for you and pray for you. Looks like you need to take the first opportunity you get and leave this clown. You need some 1 empathetic & understanding. Prayers 🙏🏻💚🙏🏻
That’s so sad
@@1timeslime971you sure it’s depression or is your body rejecting your husband. As soon as I got divorced I never got sick again. Been two years since I caught illnesses or felt pain
So, "he" is a police officer?
They withhold to bait you by keeping you confused and in fog until you become frustrated . They’ll hold that frustration against you and say to you and everyone else you’re confrontational or argumentative
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Reactive abuse. When they provoke a reaction from you then shame you for your reaction.
Thank you for validating my experience. He gradually and increasingly withheld all 5 over the 4 years.
On the bulls eye
🎯💯
All of us deserve better !!
The MOST POWERFUL man that ever lived was gentle 95% of the time. He didn't use anyone for $, or anything else, and died for all. Narcissists are the opposite. They are evil.
Amen!
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Jesus Christ is LORD❤ GBY ALL❤ 🕊 🕊 🕊
Excellent point
The blood bank is closed... so long Dracula! I deserve better!
Baby!!!! This man withheld everything. From sex, affection, attention, money. They withhold any and everything they think will hurt you. Thinking you will come crawling back. I did at first when I didn't know about narcissist. After I learned the game his withholding became my healing. It gave me time to heal and get away from him.
❤
I fell out of love when he cheated over and over and he lied about everything even stupid stuff like my parents love you ... They actually didn't so why not just say that?
Thank you
I deserve better
Absolutely, me too. I also learned about healthy boundaries and keeping them and wanting "better" for myself! 🙏♥️🇺🇲
No victim should have to live like that - being tortured by such a creature in a so called 'Relationship.'
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Your talking to the wall. Doctors lawyers judges marriage councilors friends children NONE OF THEM HAVE A CLUE WHAT and who these monsters are. NARCISSISTS RULE. ITS SCARRY.
I deserve BETTER!
I married a guy who was so sweet and kind. About a year later he started saying things…like threats if I didn’t have sex whenever he wanted then he would divorce me. I thought it was odd because I didn’t ever turn him down. Then it was other threats.
I felt like I was losing my mind.
I started Therapy and started learning about Narcissism. That’s when I decided to start threatening him back. I’m still here and with him. And he doesn’t do it to me anymore except on occasion. I own our business that he runs. He knows better now. If he starts acting out I just remind him. He doesn’t like that at all.
These are SICK PEOPLE.
Know the signs before you date or get married!
It’s really a Spiritual problem.
You either belong to GOD
or Satan. Get that straight first and ask God to intervene! 🙏🏻
Sleep deprivation is another weapon.
Audio warfare, screaming and staring arguments in the night.
My ex used to wake me up in the morning by screaming at the kids.
My narcissist used to do the passive aggressive thing, and sing songs which contain the lyrics of what he was accusing me of doing / saying.
For example, if he thought I was lying to him, he would sing "Send me an Angel"
' Don't tell a lie. Don't be false or untrue it all comes back to you'
@@judicox5559 😭 thank you for taking the time to post this comment bc I've been up for days feel like I'm losing my mind and the neverending whistles of songs to deliver a message and everything of that nature while acting stupid whenever I ask him to stop.... I'm broken bc I know my children probably think I'm crazy but have no clue the torture I'm enduring to protect them... bc when I don't give in he goes after my children and I no longer know why to do
Yes, it is. A systematic way of torturing... And the thing about it is it's specific to you. So no one else even understands or nose what he's doing except the two of you. Even a certain look that he would give me when other people were around to make me react, and sometimes I did. So then it just looks like I was going crazy on him for no reason. And during this time I also had cancer so I was in a lot of pain. Anyway. I had cervical cancer which he used to blame on me saying it was because I had too much sex when I was younger. How insane is that?
But I am so sorry that he visits out upon your children! I had two parents that were diagnosed with MPD in their late '50s early. '60s mother was a covert narcissist and daddy wasn't overt narcissist
1) Narcissists enjoy manipulating and controlling others, including withholding certain things to torment their victims.
2) They withhold affection as a form of punishment and to maintain control in the relationship.
3) Narcissists may withhold the truth or not tell the entire truth, which can include omitting important details.
4) They may withhold sex as a form of control and to torment their partners.
5) Narcissists may withhold resources, such as money, information, or emotional support, as a way to maintain power and control in a situation.
I deserve love. Respect and validation..no compromise
You got this! 💪
Yes he wouldn't show me any affection. Withheld sex then just laughed and left me crying. Evil . Kicked him out after 6 years of hell . So happy to be free . No man will destroy me again.
Keep up your good work with healing. Thank you for explaining this so others understand that it is not your fault. It's extremely painful and life threatening.
Narcissistic behavior is life threatening. Thank you for waking the true victims of Narcissistic behavior.
Instead of saying "No man" try saying nobody or no person There's plenty of affectionate good men wanting to rattle your bones. IMHO
@@RebeccaLovett-fx9tg you are SO brave❤️
I DESERVE MUCH BETTER.
Definitely! 💯💯
They withhold emotional intimacy.
They aren't capable of emotional intimacy
@@liadown9052but they feign it. And then withdraw as a tactic
My god yes.
Yes they do!!!
@@liadown9052 I was told this by a psychologist.
They definitely withhold approval, compliments, commendation, encouragement, forgiveness.
....and companionship.
Wow,wow,
It hurts me the
More i hear the truth the more it
Hurts.
Hurt. Greive the perceived loss. Move forward. They never existed as you wanted to see them. You'd never chase a snake that bit you, to ask it why. Just know that's what a snake does. Educate yourself, be kind to yourself. Give it time. It gets so much better!❤
I agree so true
@@HazelsMomFurever
Thank you ❤
I deserve so much better
😢😢
I'm a behaviorist. Behaviorists are uniquely perturbed by narcissists because we can see this whole other set of Motivating Operations that are governing a separate, unique set of behaviors which include lying, misleading, and withholding the truth. The MO conditions are unique and special to the narcissist's ongoing behavior and perceived needs. Behaviorists see these conditions that lead to the pathological/compulsive lying by narcissists...and it is SO painful to witness
It is painful to be at the receiving end.
They create such confusion they cause you lie to yourself and others.
I deserve better! Learned I was dating one and didn't realize it till the end putting all the signs together. The love bomb is serious especially if you been single for a while. Be careful in this world, be stronger than them. They hate that!
Exactly! He called me even feminist 😂 thank god I figured it out in less than 2 months.
Psychotherapy saved me 🙏
The narc would not hug me.
Mine wouldn't either!!!
But when you go along without it for so long and don't ask... they get confused when you don’t reciprocate.
6.5 years since I've had a hug from him
I thought it was just me.
Sometimes, wife folds her lips in when i try to kiss her, so i am not kissing her lips....i thought it was maybe because she just put on chapstic or something, but when i asked her about it, she made a nasty remark or something and walked away. Very strange behavior right?
I can relate to the affection withholding! She love/lust bombed the hell out of me! Then pulled it back the minute I asked some questions about something she was clearly lying about!
That's what my husband did the minute i ?? Him about something he was lying about, I got pushed away.
So so so so so so so accurate. It's such a sad truth unfortunately.
I deserve better ..
my ex narc is doing this to me atm ..
with hold intimacy !!
how is he ex if withholding intimacy ? Or do you mean ( I hope for your sake ) soon to be ex ?
I have gone thru so much with my nar, it ain't even funny. Actually he taught me how to treat him. Now I'm strong . I always say , who's fooling who. If that make any sense. When he or she going thru there craziness, just repeat the Lord's prayer out loud.
@@cjennings5031 l am a Pagan. What is worrying me is that l yelled 'l hope you die' after months of him torturing me, hitting me, making me crazy crying. THEN a month after l said that he was shockingly diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He has no hope of recovery.
I am a Pagan HEALER.....not an executioner.
He made my life an absolute HELL on earth. Now l am healing myself. Love to you ALL here. 💕💞💕💞
Is this what is called 'karma' ?
Bingo I got hours of texting from him in the early stage ,,,now I am lucky to get any from him even though we are in the same house
"I DESERVE BETTER" I truly mean it!!
Gratitude Rebecca for all support, I can see clear now all what I have been through!
Sending you light! Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/
I deserve a much better father!
Few months ago, I went out of town one weekend w my kids, took them down to the beach.
He called me Fri night to make sure we arrived safely. My kids and I were in the indoor pool area - so it was hard to hear, I told him I’d call him back.
Well…i didn’t call him back until Saturday night.
And WOW…ever since then, he has withdrawn from me.
Like I’m being punished.
I'm going to need a backstory to make a diagnosis :P
how can u be having an affair when u have the kids in tow?
He needs to get a life and give you some space.
You are sooo right!!!Sounds like my soon to be ex. I am sick of it, its Wednesday and because he is mad, no affection, no communication, no sex, nothing since Sunday 😢. I am looking to move, almost 6 years of this and i am over it.
Yep. Mine has withheld intimacy for months. None in over 6 months.
I left and I deserve better.
Totally! 💯
I’m thinking of leaving too
I left 2 weeks ago,he came into a win $$$ so this is my perfect chance to get away.
@@Milarniworld I hope you leave. I felt so much better!! No more sadness, fear, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness. Good luck.
This all resonates..the with holding of sex was the hardest thing I've ever been through
I deserve better
How do I understand you. Been there too here. Almost 4 years- after child'th birth. That is why it was bot easy to concentrate on the topic ir getaway easily. Finally, in 2022, released: I don't want any s. Relationships anymore
I was glaring: finally it is clear!!! After that: the emotional swing: let me hug you. I didn't mean that.
But no further actions taken. I knew nothing of the narcissism back then...
Finally, when I started looking for my own apartment to rent:I realised, I want a family with you, I need us.
No getting back to the topic within a few weeks.
Further: a comment to our relative: I don't like her. She is wearing such an improper clothing at home.
The day after, trying to hug me and being asked by me to get away- Why don't you let me? Who am I living with?? Where shall I go...
If not for shared custody and lack of a free housing for herself, I would go long time ago.
Planning how to make means to get away.
It is so soul crushing. Then you find out they are cheating.
"I deserve better " and I told him that 2 months before I walked away from him.
Thay are full of rage that' s why they try to make you emotional and insane. They like negativity and conflicts because they are full of it and can' t stand your positivity or peace.
Another one is withholding really nice pictures/photos of you, and especially if they have social media, posting the bad ones (by comparison) instead.
Omg, my partner did exactly this to me ,only a few weeks ago, she took a rather casual photo of me in a local bar, refused to send it to me, then asked what I wanted it for ?
She then defaced it, before sending it to me, with a stupid hat and moustache on the photo, I hate having my photo taken ! She did eventually send me the original after weeks of drama.
Exactly! They are so jealous and petty like a 12 yo teenager (perhaps more like a giant toddler) but meet one, you’ve met them all!
My ex narc never wanted to take pics together. Claimed he didn’t like taking pics yet he’d post pics of himself n with others on his social media all the time. He didn’t want to take pics with me or acknowledge I even existed. Such an asshole looking back.
THEY ARE JEALOUSE. ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Mine withheld. EVERYTHING.
Y thing
I deserve some who knows HOW they can take care OF THEMSELVES.
I deserve better. Thx for the reminders helping me to stay strong. No contact.
All so true, "it's all about respect!"
Agree! What was your favorite part of the video?
@@RebeccaZungEsq narcissists hates the word “respect”. It triggers them somehow.
Wow this definitely was my last relationship! I finally went no contact. I Deserve Better!!!!!!!!!
I felt duped and it took years of my life to figure it out, as I tried to explain to family.
I was married for 26 years but he withheld sex for the last 5 or more years. I didn't know what a narsisist was but I learned quickly, and the hard way. I read every book, took every class, and went to counseiing. when I tried to discuss it with him, he admitted that withholding sex was the only way he cuold control me. I left that relationship with no self esteem at all, even thought I'd lost 67 pounds and looked the best I had since high school. In my opinion, a man that would treat his wife that way is the cruelest and most evil person on earth. I had opportunities to cheat but I didn't. My reputation and relationship with the Lord meant more to me than getting back at him. He lost a good deal. I was June Cleaver in training and treated him better than he deserved. You are brave, you are beautiful.
You reminded me when I tried to initiate dance with my narcissist husband and he withdrew like I was a hot flame.
Your videos have been invaluable throughout my journey of co-parenting with a narcissist. Thank you for all that you do and for helping me to understand that it’s not me who is the crazy one. I can’t wait to read your new book. ❤️
Glad you found them helpful! Keep SLAYing! ❤
Rebecca, You are always so spot on. You are a godsend. Gratitude!
You are so welcome! What is one point that you start using today?
For Sure.
I deserve much better😊!
True!! What is something that you are grateful for? 🙌
I deserve better than to be tricked, cheated on, lied to, and gaslighted!
The ex a covert narcissist is ADDICTED to terrorize, torment and try to make me squirm! He tries and tries even rt now however I’m ignoring him 100%. While together yes he withheld affection allot versus when we first got together the affection was astronomical. I was duped! I was sucker punched! He has NO capability to truly be affectionate.
And its only going to be worse
Do you have a good support system in place?
@@RebeccaZungEsq I’ve had to submit complaints for cyberbullying to the FBI on him and his friends. Also submitted evidence to state attorney for violating my injunction again. Filed charges on his friend for physically assaulting me AND security is alerted as well as sheriffs everytime im at venues I work at. Have security added double fold for Feb 4th and mar 4th. He shows they will arrest!!!
I changed my ex narcs name to i deserve better in my phone so whenever i was tempted to unblock her i thought twice
I'm doing this NOW!!! Thank you!
Wow! I like that!
Why don't you just delete their phone number?
Because YOU are a narcissist and that's why you convinced yourself that you "liked" her.
Yes like when they cheat on you multiable times do not take it personal 😮👌
My husband constantly cheated on me...I DESERVE BETTER CAUSE I'M A GREAT PERSON
I DESERVE BETTER! I RECEIVE IT NOW! THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU REBECCA. GOD BLESS YOU!
This video, absolutely one hundred percent accurate! Thank you 🎯 💯
Hia Rebbeca 💕yes they love to minipulate and bully! No more! I am stronger now and forever! 🙏❤️❤️❤️
He was my first love and he really took advantage of that, I did not understand why he did this but it made me weak and he smiled when he cause me this pain. Denied all his attempt to hoover me back. I deserve better.
Stay strong 💯🙌
I've been married for 20 years to my husband and we've been together for 29 years. I met him when I was 17 years old and he was 21. Well to make it short for about the past 10 years after birth of our 4rth child he has been withholding emotional intimacy. He says I don't deserve to be kissed anymore because of lying about partying with my friends when I was in college. During college he was very controlling so i wouldn't tell him when I went out with friends just to dance. I'm a dancer and it's a passion for me. So recently he has been extremely enraged about it. He hugs me goodbye only when I'm leaving the house with the boys as if to make himself look like a great loving husband in front of the kids. About a year ago my youngest son noticed how he withholds money from me and he stated mommy when I grow up I'm going to give you money all the time. Our oldest daughters have also noticed thing about him they are 21 and 19. We have 4 children. My oldest son is 14 and was just recently granted a birthday party when he turned 14. He goes so far as to not allow me to plan parties for our children. It's getting to the point recently that I suffered with suicidal thoughts from his torture. He's always accusing me of cheating or wanting other men. I've been faithful this whole time. I also cant talk with my Pastor because he and His wife have narcissistic tendancies as well. I don't know what to do besides secrectly plan to disappear with our youngest children and that's not realistic I'm not financially able to leave. I cry all the time and listen to music about God's love for me because what I know about Jesus he withholds nothing and doesn't shame us of our past or accuse us. He also constantly asking me what's wrong but when I share to him how he's making me feel about withholding intimacy he turns it around on me and blames me because of college 22 years ago. And want to know every detail of the parties I cant even recall. I refuse to talk about it because it just makes him more enrage. He says I hurt him and I'm trying to figure out why he even married me if the whole time he believes Im cheating and accusing me of wanting other men. It makes no sense and and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Recently I read about Leah on the Bible and I feel my life mirrors hers in alot of ways. He also has been emotionally involved with female coworkers 3 that I can name. 2 have visited our church . One actually placed her child in our church camp and was extra flirty on a trip to Disney World and he admitted to meeti her on a Sat to change her tire and kissed her but denies now that that happened it was when my second daughter was a year old. The other recently visited our church and he walked all the way to her side agter church and embrassed her. I was so ashamed. And he says it was nothing. I never felt so hurt and when I called him out on it he argued with me about my college days 20 something years ago as to why he did it. I'm so over him now and I'm battling regret thinking I made a wrong life choice. Also his older brother 30 years ago was stabbed by his girlfriend at the age of 20. His brother was physically abusive to her so the police did not arrest the woman. His brother died and he was there. So I feel his issues and hate towards me are a result of that trauma I also believe he is stuck me tally as a 18 year old when that happened. He will be 49 this year. I have mentioned this to him and he gets really upset and angered and says I lack compassion but he is still grieving its hard for me to grieve his brother because I never met him. When I met my husband he was stalking the girlfriend who killed the brother and had lots of rage toward her I convinced him to stop doing that and he did. So there were so many red flags but a 17 year old is too too blind to see these things then. I know I made my bed in hell but God is with me. All I do is pray and he also has asked me to stop praying and calling on Jesus name. This has been exhausting just reflecting on all this pain.
It would be a good idea for you to find another church with kinder pastor and wife. If you can't go to your pastor to look for help, you're in the wrong church. In not talking about the denominational, but that particular church. Hi OnLive and find one close by, and read the reviews, try it, go to the pastor with a small issue, to text how he deals with you. You deserve better, pay the game life I did, until my kids were 18 and of to college, because I wouldn't want have left that evil person alone with my young, innocent children. So, I divorced myself emotionally, stopped expecting things from him. I no longer cared, and I lived that way for a while - So, I no live saw him as my partner, husband, on my side. I just survived, played the game like a video game. I kept learning about narcissists, and keep strong. Then be prepared, with enough money to retain a lawyer, and leave, never to return. Good luck!!! 🌷
Sis, please get a therapist and learn how to use the information you’re learning as leverage.
It's not fair to bring up the past constantly and never let it go. You are in a battle and there is no longer love. When it gets to this stage, one is actually getting dopamine from engaging in this conflict. They can't stop themselves. Somethings got to give. I'm glad the Lord is looking after you. Maybe the right therapist could help you navigate these waters.
Be strong..be positive, your life is precious
@@chelly77 you are valuable & loved- pls go to a women’s abuse center in private & learn & get support to strengthen you . I am so sorry , I also was tormented & nearly destroyed by one of these minions of satan- knowledge is power here, & din’t let go of your faith, never stop using Jesus name! You deserve support , please don’t let this lethal parasite deprive you of the life God gave you, and your kids need you . 🙏🏼
I'm a very good woman I'm a empath and he is always trying to pick a fight and gaslight me and holler and curse at me then he comes home and he is so sweet and loving but I have my garden up and I'm aware of his ways thank you Rebecca for helping me with this
I DESERVE BETTER!!!!
They will definitely try to provoke you at work to do something stupid.
I deserve better! Thanks for the reminder!
I have deserved better my whole adult life. Maybe I'll get it now. Raised to be an empath, others first!
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
I deserve better!! One full year of no dating , no belonging to anyone but myself and take time to heal.
I will tell you up front. #1 is information needed to make vital decisions! There is the lies of omission.
Spot on. Thank you for your great observations and advice. God bless you❤
I deserve better!!!
Withholding sex was the last straw! I thought it might be a prostate disfunction on his part -then I found he was just being mean. 😢
I DESERVE BETTER!!
My hypervigilance is nuts because of this.
I deserve better 💜
Totally!
Yes you do! NAMAslay!!
It is about power / control of the other person. Had some of that stuff done to me. I got professional help and gained the knowledge and tools, that way I could make an informed decision that was in my best interests. Thank goodness I recorded a lot of stuff and played that - once the people I hired to "check me out" heard those recordings, they knew straight away what was going on. If they had not heard those recording, I would have got the wrong information and help.
And theri lack of security and control of their own doings and responsibility, even to themselves..🙏
I deserve better
Totally! What is something that you are grateful for?
Yes you do!
@@RebeccaZungEsqI’m grateful for Rebecca zung.
We all deserve better
Mine withholds sexually constantly and sonetimes affection, then when i ask whats the problem? He says i love causinc drama. This can go on for weeks.
I went from a bride to an enemy in one night.😂😂😂😂
Me too. I went to nothing the day I got married.
@@ruthslater6364 It’s their loss not ours. We still have our self respect and dignity even though they devalued us in their eyes.
@sheilamusker-lovett4472 you are so right. I now know it’s for a lot of reasons1 they have no feelings for us. 2 they enjoy watching us suffer 3 they are very sick
@sheilamusker-lovett4472 yes, you do.
I know the feeling! Get out ASAP! Don't waste another minute of your precious life! Don't lose your own sanity, and you will every second you stay there. Take it from me, I stayed for 40 years, abuse only gets worse.
I’m currently with a narcissist and I am at my limit. I did not know he was a narcissist until after being together for four years and getting married now I’m with a man that I did not sign up to be with wondered for years. Why can’t my husband just do the things that he knows will make me happy why if I say up he says down if I say left, he says right This man did everything in his power and still does the thing that’s gonna disappoint me rather than the thing that’s gonna make me happy. Until right now I finally get it. I already knew that he enjoyed driving me crazy and I think this is all part of it. He loves seeing me. He loves seeing me lose my mind. I’ve only listen to the first thing you said, but I can also tell you that a narcissist they withhold sex, intimacy, really just any form of empathy, caring and I would ask my husband why don’t you wanna have sex with me and he would never give me a reason ever which made me feel unwanted and disgusting and stupid for being turned down constantly. I’ve stayed with this man through so much abuse, I need to get out of this relationship
I'm crying listening to this because it's my entire relationship being told to me by someone that doesnt know me. The things that are driving me crazy and sending me into the worst depression ive ever had and its all just a game ro someone. I believe im a magnet for narcissists truely. I found out way to late what a narcissist truly was and the things they do. I didnt understand what was happening and lost my baby to this nutjob and have been fighting for my 1 and only child for the past 2 years. It amazes me the things her father says and does and people just believe him and im the devil but none of it is true. I finally feel comfortable enough to take a chance with someone just to find ive met far worse and I hadnt seen a thing yet. No one has ever made me feel bad about myself or doubt who i am. No one has ever made me feel like im fat or ugly cant do anything right and just so unwanted until this guy that started off great. Now i havent seen him in days, he doesn't touch me, we are sleeping different rooms, he lies lies les, and im crazy and being clingy, BUT if im down to bring a friend then he's all for it. Like im just not good enough alone. Im in a nightmare that just wont end.
Walk away. Choose you. Choose elf love and self respect. Break away and heal. You can do it. You are worth it. Don't say anything. Just make plans and do it.
I am going to walk away and l am 76. It's heartbreaking. My Narc husband has cancer. He wants to live with me still, altogether he is vile to me. I have no strength to fight
Victorious, maybe we could both walk away
@juliettecrossley4864 I forgot all about this comment, but reading it just brought back so many negative things I was dealing with then and still to this day. Now I'm simply an atm he doesn't touch and really has no respect for. Unfortunately his bestfriend is worse than him and I have to deal with his bs as well. I just want to be left alone. I have no more feelings for these people. His bestfriend pretended to be am amazing friend and support to me but come to find out that's thee true demon. People can't be this nuts it's amazing.
@@diamemetivier8030❤❤❤❤
Yes we deserve better.
Totally!! What is one win you had this week?
I deserve so much better!!!
I feel like I'm the only one you can perfectly understand your every word and I am so greatful I understand most people can not recognize a genius when they see one and you definitely are one as I have said before
I deserve soooo much better!
Also beware It is "Mine" Me syndrome. As well as they claim that they bought this and that when you obviously have a receipt on the item.
Wow my husband is the same way ( my car ,my house,my things . He has a building full of expensive bought things for him . I might get something to ( cook) with on my birthday. What a joke!!!
People are All users and abusers so I don’t care about people! The more people I meet, the More I miss my Dog!
There are people who are this way, but not everyone.
I deserve better. My Mothee deserved better too. I believe my Father is a covert narc. He withheld sex for 19 years and that stalemate only ended after Mum died. He was keen to start dating again on the first anniversary of her death.
They think that you think like they think, and if they think you dont think like they think, they think your a sucker/their supply.
Thank you, that is very reassuring and validating to know it's not about us and we deserve better ❤
I Deserve Better!!!!
Yes you do!! Keep SLAYing! ❤
I put a brother through Grad School... if he wanted to PUNISH ME he'd take me to a restaurant and Verbally trash me IN FRONT OF SERVERS.
I deserve better....✊️
All this happened to me. Every single thing you talked about was spot on.
Thanks for providing these helpful videos.I always addressed my covert narc wife with a term of endearment, while she would just call me by my first name 90% of the time. She methodically increased the excuses to avoid sex to the point of total physical abandonment. The process was ridiculous with me staying up for hours attempting foreplay, waiting for that "maybe later" to happen, foolishly trying to gently out argue the "is that all you want me for," or listening to some form of criticism or absurd accusation as she made it clear she was going to just lay there and make sure there would be no moment of intimacy and I would just give up trying, As the 20 yrs got worse and I got more mentally exhausted of being the only one investing or attempting intimacy, we have three children and feel deeply entrenched in a toxic marriage, I no longer even try and sure enough....she has not attempted or made any gestures of intimacy towards me. I'm trying to understand how this is possible as I work from home and know that she's not cheating, how can she not have any physical/intimacy desires. Looking back, it was always me who initiated all intimacy except for when she was trapping me (at the very beginning)....I can't believe I didn't have enough self-esteem, awareness, or wisdom to see it earlier...I truly blamed myself and was made to feel at fault for a massive amount of her unhappiness even though logically that unhappiness was already there when I met her...After all, I would be her loving hero and everything would turn out wonderful....never thought that I was being manipulated and set up to be used for so many years. I don't think it's healthy to be like this, anything I care about is dismissed, all joys seem to get critiqued into misery, zero praise and zero encouragement (not sure how I've survived this long), I'm responsible for everything, so many things are challenged and second guessed, to have supported her for all these years and to have no trust is painful, and I'm seeing significant signs of emotional damage/changes to my daughters. Now that is also being blamed on me.... Not sure how to untangle this mess...
You need a therapist to speak to and come up with a plan, to help you set boundaries with your wife.
Oh, man... I fully sympathize with you.
What a painful situation.
I admire your awareness of all that is going on, and your honesty with yourself and with us here.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I wish for you to find true love with someone new, someone caring, someone who will like you for who you are, exactly how you are.
❤
I have been in your situation and she will never change, nor will she ever give you a sincere apology. I tried therapy and eventually realized she wouldn't change. Do yourself a favor and get out as soon as you can. Leave and have minimal contact with her. It isn't an easy thing to do but it is the only way you can heal.
I have been in your situation and she will never change, nor will she ever give you a sincere apology. I tried therapy and eventually realized she wouldn't change. Do yourself a favor and get out as soon as you can. Leave and have minimal contact with her. It isn't an easy thing to do but it is the only way you can heal.
You are the best! You changed my life!
Happy to help! What is something that you are grateful for?
Going through some of this at the moment
I deserve better!!!! I've been through it all. I just recently discovered that my wife of 18 years is a narcissist. I didn't understand why she would treat me so bad, withhold intimacy and sex. She would be just horrible to me, wouldn't ever talk to me about anything serious in regards to us. We have two children together and she's left me on seven different occasions without even letting me know where she's at or who she's with. I'm sure that she's made everyone believe that I'm just a horrible person but infact it's just the opposite!! I'm crushed . I've trusted her when she would leave our family and be gone seems like forever. I always felt like she was cheating on me with someone else but now I'm finding out that narcissist always cheat on you with multiple people. I'm beyond sick. All those years down the drain.
Withholding affection almost killed me with my covert Narc ex , because my mother is a covert and cold like a dead fish. My ex is a porn addict-btw: he said I shouldn't take it personal so I struggle with saying we shouldn't take it personal. It is, because Narcs don't mistreat everyone. So, my Ex wanted sex, but he withheld anything I asked him for what I liked in bed. He didn't touch or caress me and he didn't want to be touched. So it ended almost like I satisfied him in 90% of the cases and I didn't want Sex, any longer. Which is quite weird because I wasn't like this in earlier relationships. Btw: I blamed those sexual issues I developed in this relationship on my perimenopause and I still struggle with sexual-abuse like issues years later and though being in an amazing relationship now. Blaming myself for everything came in handy for him, I guess. Also he didn't help in the house. I asked him to clean the dishes a few times, he set the whole kitchen under water and told me he has issues coordinating, so I always did it myself.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/
A good man loves to snuggle
You just described my experience. It's so painful. Thank you for validating my reality.
This speaks to me.
Thank you for your insight/wisdom.
I’m exiting a five year stint with a narcissist. I don’t just throw that word around. Once you experience someone like this you understand the seriousness of “narcissist”.
I still have two months before moving out. I’d rather leave asap, but not possible.
I’m concerned about an escalation of her tactics as the date gets closer and she sees I’m serious. Right now her tactics are subtle, but I know how far she’s gone before. What I don’t know is how far she’s willing to go.
Praying for a way to have my life back without losing it.
LiveRightToday
I DESERVE BETTER. 23, going 24 years, and I hit my awakening, I guess. Took me long enough, didn't it? I honestly believe that this demon thought that I would never get sick and tired of the whole game and would never leave. I am 53 and he took all of my good years. My pretty years, they're all gone. You can't get those years back. I am ready to start healing. All i seem to do is cry and be in such heavy, deep soul wrenching pain in my heart bc i still love this person that I KNOW does NOT love me the same and simply cant and wont. The pain causes physical heart pangs too. I wish he could feel this, if only for a second.
The legal profession needs more attorneys like you. Most judges and lawyers don't understand the narcissistic manipulation and it's very difficult, especially if there's children involved, for a spouse or mother of children to extricate themselves in a court of law because the narcissist is so clever at the manipulation.
I deserve better, everyone deserves to thrive in their lives! ❤❤
Best thing is to break the trauma bond and find a supportive system of trusted friends and carefully selected new friends. Thoroughly enjoy your time with them ( it drives my narc husband mad when I talk and laugh a lot with my friends on the phone ). But keep them away from your home or your 🐊 will swallow them alive, ie steal them and turn them against you. Narcs are extremely good at this.
And soon after that when you stop paying attention to him, I decided to open up a I’m monarch butterfly habitat and my time went to that and he just cried telling everybody. Oh he just suffered for five years well that’s because it was narcissistic injury. That’s what it was.
This is my father in a nutshell. I’ve been trying to break away for years. My stroke, has made that much more difficult.
Narc boss brought me in, abandoned my training within the first month, had me go stay for extended periods for “training” that didn’t happen, withheld information details about performing specific tasks and then let me make a mistake and shamed me for it; didn’t let me know he needed particular info for something and then when he wasn’t prepared blamed his failure in me (I’m still trying to learn a very complicated new job!)
Then fired me after I’d spent a bunch of money for lodging to be there for training and now I have to go after him to abide by the law and reimburse me. I felt stupid, confused, incapable, lazy, emotional the entire time (Exocet for what must’ve been the first three weeks of boss love bombing?)
11:34 I've been fighting my husband's wrongful conviction for the last 22 years and while researching his case, I see how narcissistic many individuals are and how covertly narcissistic the entire justice system is...
You are right on target! Married over 54 years and it is exactly what you are saying.
Mine didn’t withhold sex, but told me I was the one that had to initiate it all the time. But also told me they had PTSD from a previous assault…. Which made me extra conscious about initiating sec…
I DESERVE BETTER. 💯