I tend to notice that many therapists/counsellors just miss out safety and stabilisation entirely. They focus on parts and trauma which floods the system with difficult memories and causes significant distress.
Increasing somatic tolerance is absolutely key. Physical health suffers without it. Sleep suffers without it. Intimacy suffers without it. For me, derealization will either be a part of switching ("I" don't recognize where I am because parts who don't know this location have taken control) or they are causing me to hear/smell things as they sense danger when none exists. I think Bethany Brand's TOPDD results, in which therapists aren't working harder on stabilization skills with us, is meaningful. Without those skills we are too vulnerable to everyday events.
This is really reassuring to hear, thank you so much for commenting. I’ve just started working on somatic therapy with my therapist. What you’ve said gives me hope that this will be a helpful direction for my healing work. Thank you again.
There's a toolbox for DP/DR? Huh. I thought it was just understanding it, recognizing it when it happens and choosing to tolerate it, to not be freaked out by it or let it change the way you interact with normal life when it happens. Thanks for the video, doc!
I also didn't realize its a toolbox. I kinda thought it was like a color. The color exists - but unless its focused on for artistic reasons (color mixing/matching) or categorizations (blue car was speeding, look for person wearing yellow hat, etc) it really doesn't matter to the function of the rest of life. Its good to have this on my radar as information to look for.
Sadly this is so very true. We have had therapists who didn't even know what depersonalization and derealization even are, this led to that moment of rolling into the back of the seat and just wanting to disappear. Thank you.
Thank you for this! The disconnection can be very subtle, from my inside overwhelming but not visible from the outside. I've lived like that almost 50 years now. I am skilled and the therapist is willing to meet me where trust can begin. And that is so difficult...to trust anybody.
This makes a lot of sense. Most of my early therapy experiences were not trauma focused at all (it wasn't yet recognized that I had CTPSD and OSDD; it was just assumed I had an anxiety disorder), and they didn't really ever help. But then I started a somatic therapy and that essentially focused on developing basic skills to help with DPDR, and that's when I finally started seeing a benefit. I started to become more stabilized and self-aware, in a way that wasn't purely cognitive. It was like I was slowly bringing my body back online, because I'd been too far outside my window of tolerance before then to be able to be present with my body.
This has been true for me in the past but thankfully now my new therapist is mostly working on like... All the other stuff and the alters as we feel ready to and is related. Its very hard for us to even speak about how having alters and dissociation effects our life still so I am finding it helpful to focus on regulating myself in my environment and different coping skills for whats actually causing a lot of dysfunction. As my day to day gets easier to navigate mentally the more progress im naturally making with switching and my memory gaps. I'm starting to want to do more of the complex stuff now because I have some foundations to be more stable and because of that it's not as hard or scary
Dpdr was a huge reason for me questioning if i have DID. And DPDR is one of my biggest most common symptom. Im still searching for a specialist that will accept my insurance. But even then i worry i will never find one smart enough to treat me. My case is one of RAMCOA. And then i don't trust anyone because what if they are programmers and try to reprogram me. I think more therapist should become educated on RAMCOA. And it doesnt just happen in cults a cults are known. It can be cia or even your church. My church was apart of it. Assembly of God. Our bigest passion right now is exposing them.
It’s interesting my own self healing journey focused instinctively on my *physical* experience and healing- having a lot of autoimmune disorders and conditions forced our hand with this over the decades. I’m increasingly aware that I never actually trust _anyone_ - there’s always a distinct distance between ‘me’ and others, passive or not, that is a constant irrespective of how much we/I care about the individual in question.
Depersonalization/derealization goes along with identity. DID and identity go hand in hand. It is amazing the diagnosis for speaking out loud about identity - who am I? who is my core? The other place therapists fail is confusing schizophrenia with DID. From the first day I met a new therapist I was telling her the names of alters, child and adult. This is before I was diagnosed with DID. That therapist, 7 months into destroying me, stated that I have a "special kind of DID where we know all our parts" - she put it in clinical notes. I was experiencing domestic violence without any support systems. Not once did that therapist focus on safety and stabilization, despite acknowledging domestic violence. She even wrote that I should be nicer to my abusive husband and reframed when I said he was drunk and mean to I said he was being nice. The last comment was almost a year after seeing her and I finally gave up. She was telling me I was perfectly capable of working while meeting with my abusive husband behind my back (all documented) to help him get me locked up. One minute I was schizophrenic and the next she labeled me lazy. I was not doing well before her, but after seeing her, I am barely hanging on.
This is a great video and crucial. My personal take is that it can come down to the therapists own ability to manage their own overwhelm in relation to the presenting material ( call it countertransference or whatever). If they cannot then they may will keep the focus on dissociated aspects and what feels comfortable for them. Yes there is what feels comfortable for the client too. There can be collusion unconsciously or consciously. However if it is about the therapist unable to go there it will not enable the client to progress. A lot of therapists in this field have been attracted to it due to their own dissociation. I do believe if a therapist is holding their own trauma at bay with dissociation and has disconnection from their own body they will struggle with ‘taking a client there’. That therapist may gain reward from their role yet not able to help in my view that client heal. They would be better concentrating on their own healing in my view. There must be an internal struggle going on for them and perhaps financial pressure even to continue, I don’t know.Then there are some other therapists who perhaps are just ignorant /misguided and have a fascination with a disorder and a fixed way of wanting to see things rather than seeing a client as a whole person that has one body. A body that usually the person is quite disconnected from. Thank you Mike for seeing the whole and bringing attention to this.
This is wonderful. We used to have a lot more dp/dr experiences and our therapist didn't really understand (being a student psychologist) and so got a more experienced clinical psychologist looped into our support network who was much better equipped for that. Thankfully we don't have dp/dr experiences anymore but it's so important to have help with that, it can be really intense.
What!? Depersonalization and Derealization I agree but not sure why. I think there may be a sort of fascination with the illness itself thereby discounting or taking away from practical skills/skill sets needing to be established, reestablished, added to, or all three. I am just now concentrating on structuring my time, trying to regain a proper circadian rythmn, and getting consistant with things needing done weekly because I had not been getting what I needed for so long. Really glad to see this addressed, but have to look up the words for context. But, Thank you. Is this going to be a series, or what else can I work on in recovering from DID?
Wow absolutely didn’t even consider this yet in reflection you’re spot on. My life is filled with disconnection. Thanks for the video. Alwaus so so helpful!
I so wish I could access your services. The NHS waiting lists in my area is 2+ years for an assessment. Then another 2+ years waiting for a start date. I have tertiary DID, and waiting, navigating the collapses, alone, is so painful. Life should be happening now and I feel robbed of it and reshamed 😢
Thank you. I have been doing a lot of somatic bodywork and experienced how flash or one time coincidentally seing one of the perpetrators made me totally loose contact with muscles in the area of the hip. The body therapist helped me regain consciousness and that is why I know what happened. I have worked from the outside in and from the traumas and in, as most alters were exiled. The last years of therapy has focused on how to live in balance without alters being exiled. When it comes to therapy in DK. I think that most people suffering from DID og OSDD are still diagnosed with schizophrenia, borderline or scizotype.
Really helpful, have shared with our therapist. Would be helpful to know more about what depersonalisation and déréalisation are, why they happen, how they manifest and what can help and how the therapist should work with it.
I’ve had three years over video during Covid with a psychologist trained in trauma. I feel what you said is what has been missing for me , and the body image and disconnection and my eating disorder relating to this is all connected. I’ve had treatment for Ed from a OT but not DID and this relating to my eating disorder. If I’ve had treatment already under the NHS can I still seek more treatment for my DID ? In my treatment for my ED with a OT I wasn’t allowed to discuss the DID as they were treating the Ed but not depersonalisation and disconnection with my body that is the cause of my ED. So it’s just been well disjointed.
I have better management of my DID the toolbox skills as you said but my eating disorder is still a struggle. Not a dangerous level anymore. ( was before )
i feel like i've been stuck in a loop that is getting tighter and i just can't get out. i don't have a doctor, so i'm not sure what to do ; i just feel like i don't have a life anymore i'm just watching the days go by
@@thectadclinic I am in the Midwest, Cleveland, Ohio. I’m going on the 9th year of therapy. I’ve had many diagnoses, and last year I was diagnosed with DID but told not to tell any of my doctors, and not to announce it, and that she doesn’t treat it. That therapist quit and I was set up with a new therapist about 5 months ago. I am not sure but it seems as if this therapist will be like my past therapists and ignore my symptoms. Treatment for DID doesn’t exist anywhere near me, that I know of. If there is DID trained therapists here in the USA, they are still few and far between, sadly. I am not hopeful I will be helped by a therapist, so I have been trying to help myself. It’s so very difficult & painful though.😢
One thing that at least on reddit's /r/DID is this notion that the end goal is full fusion. I would be content if I could get communication and concord. I don't care if I am We, if We get along and can talk.
Is there any way to access therapy from your clinic for a patient in the US? I’ve had such a hard time finding competent DID specialists / trauma therapists
@@thectadclinicI'm sorry for this misdirected questioning, (I'm not even from the same country) but if a person has no prospects or intention of getting "professional" help for something as extreme as a dissociative/personality disorder...do you think they'd be better off not even trying to learn about it on their own or is there a substandard way for them to help themselves? Like.. for example...say a (personal) system is in place but that it's shared awareness causes the compartmentalized system to not function properly. The obvious answer is the professional help but if that's not on the table.. should one just ease off?
I had my driving license revoked as it was seen as too dangerous to drive, I have to say that was I good decision once I accepted it. A child should not be driving a car nor an angry man looking for a fight.
Driving helps me to stay safe, strangely. I'm totally aware that I am in charge of a killing machine and that calms me, it puts me, my authentic self in charge. I think 🤔😅
I tend to notice that many therapists/counsellors just miss out safety and stabilisation entirely. They focus on parts and trauma which floods the system with difficult memories and causes significant distress.
As always Mike a massive thank you. I’m the absence of a DID therapist available to me your videos are massive in helping me 🪴
you are very welcome, Jennifer - thank you!
Increasing somatic tolerance is absolutely key. Physical health suffers without it. Sleep suffers without it. Intimacy suffers without it. For me, derealization will either be a part of switching ("I" don't recognize where I am because parts who don't know this location have taken control) or they are causing me to hear/smell things as they sense danger when none exists. I think Bethany Brand's TOPDD results, in which therapists aren't working harder on stabilization skills with us, is meaningful. Without those skills we are too vulnerable to everyday events.
I absolutely agree!
This is really reassuring to hear, thank you so much for commenting. I’ve just started working on somatic therapy with my therapist. What you’ve said gives me hope that this will be a helpful direction for my healing work. Thank you again.
There's a toolbox for DP/DR? Huh. I thought it was just understanding it, recognizing it when it happens and choosing to tolerate it, to not be freaked out by it or let it change the way you interact with normal life when it happens.
Thanks for the video, doc!
I also didn't realize its a toolbox. I kinda thought it was like a color. The color exists - but unless its focused on for artistic reasons (color mixing/matching) or categorizations (blue car was speeding, look for person wearing yellow hat, etc) it really doesn't matter to the function of the rest of life.
Its good to have this on my radar as information to look for.
Sadly this is so very true. We have had therapists who didn't even know what depersonalization and derealization even are, this led to that moment of rolling into the back of the seat and just wanting to disappear. Thank you.
Thank you for this! The disconnection can be very subtle, from my inside overwhelming but not visible from the outside. I've lived like that almost 50 years now. I am skilled and the therapist is willing to meet me where trust can begin. And that is so difficult...to trust anybody.
Wonderful! Good luck on your journey!
@@thectadclinic with "skilled" I mean in hiding my disconnected ways of living, not skilled as a result of learning a "new" toolbox.
These videos are always so helpful, thank you!
This one in particular helped me to realize how non-existent DID/OSDD treatment is in my therapy.
Thanks a lot, doctor. I am sharing this with our therapist and with friends that are therapists. -Caretaker of a System
This makes a lot of sense. Most of my early therapy experiences were not trauma focused at all (it wasn't yet recognized that I had CTPSD and OSDD; it was just assumed I had an anxiety disorder), and they didn't really ever help. But then I started a somatic therapy and that essentially focused on developing basic skills to help with DPDR, and that's when I finally started seeing a benefit. I started to become more stabilized and self-aware, in a way that wasn't purely cognitive. It was like I was slowly bringing my body back online, because I'd been too far outside my window of tolerance before then to be able to be present with my body.
Somatic therapies have been so helpful for us in trauma processing.
That’s great, really glad you were able to access this!
This has been true for me in the past but thankfully now my new therapist is mostly working on like... All the other stuff and the alters as we feel ready to and is related. Its very hard for us to even speak about how having alters and dissociation effects our life still so I am finding it helpful to focus on regulating myself in my environment and different coping skills for whats actually causing a lot of dysfunction. As my day to day gets easier to navigate mentally the more progress im naturally making with switching and my memory gaps. I'm starting to want to do more of the complex stuff now because I have some foundations to be more stable and because of that it's not as hard or scary
The little things can be the most important. Stabilization is critical so that we can do alter work Thank you Dr. Mike.
Dpdr was a huge reason for me questioning if i have DID. And DPDR is one of my biggest most common symptom. Im still searching for a specialist that will accept my insurance. But even then i worry i will never find one smart enough to treat me. My case is one of RAMCOA. And then i don't trust anyone because what if they are programmers and try to reprogram me. I think more therapist should become educated on RAMCOA. And it doesnt just happen in cults a cults are known. It can be cia or even your church. My church was apart of it. Assembly of God. Our bigest passion right now is exposing them.
It’s interesting my own self healing journey focused instinctively on my *physical* experience and healing- having a lot of autoimmune disorders and conditions forced our hand with this over the decades. I’m increasingly aware that I never actually trust _anyone_ - there’s always a distinct distance between ‘me’ and others, passive or not, that is a constant irrespective of how much we/I care about the individual in question.
Depersonalization/derealization goes along with identity. DID and identity go hand in hand. It is amazing the diagnosis for speaking out loud about identity - who am I? who is my core?
The other place therapists fail is confusing schizophrenia with DID. From the first day I met a new therapist I was telling her the names of alters, child and adult. This is before I was diagnosed with DID.
That therapist, 7 months into destroying me, stated that I have a "special kind of DID where we know all our parts" - she put it in clinical notes.
I was experiencing domestic violence without any support systems. Not once did that therapist focus on safety and stabilization, despite acknowledging domestic violence. She even wrote that I should be nicer to my abusive husband and reframed when I said he was drunk and mean to I said he was being nice. The last comment was almost a year after seeing her and I finally gave up.
She was telling me I was perfectly capable of working while meeting with my abusive husband behind my back (all documented) to help him get me locked up. One minute I was schizophrenic and the next she labeled me lazy.
I was not doing well before her, but after seeing her, I am barely hanging on.
This is a great video and crucial. My personal take is that it can come down to the therapists own ability to manage their own overwhelm in relation to the presenting material ( call it countertransference or whatever). If they cannot then they may will keep the focus on dissociated aspects and what feels comfortable for them. Yes there is what feels comfortable for the client too. There can be collusion unconsciously or consciously. However if it is about the therapist unable to go there it will not enable the client to progress. A lot of therapists in this field have been attracted to it due to their own dissociation. I do believe if a therapist is holding their own trauma at bay with dissociation and has disconnection from their own body they will struggle with ‘taking a client there’. That therapist may gain reward from their role yet not able to help in my view that client heal. They would be better concentrating on their own healing in my view. There must be an internal struggle going on for them and perhaps financial pressure even to continue, I don’t know.Then there are some other therapists who perhaps are just ignorant /misguided and have a fascination with a disorder and a fixed way of wanting to see things rather than seeing a client as a whole person that has one body. A body that usually the person is quite disconnected from. Thank you Mike for seeing the whole and bringing attention to this.
And this may well be a factor, thank you for raising it.
This is wonderful. We used to have a lot more dp/dr experiences and our therapist didn't really understand (being a student psychologist) and so got a more experienced clinical psychologist looped into our support network who was much better equipped for that. Thankfully we don't have dp/dr experiences anymore but it's so important to have help with that, it can be really intense.
What!? Depersonalization and Derealization
I agree but not sure why. I think there may be a sort of fascination with the illness itself thereby discounting or taking away from practical skills/skill sets needing to be established, reestablished, added to, or all three. I am just now concentrating on structuring my time, trying to regain a proper circadian rythmn, and getting consistant with things needing done weekly because I had not been getting what I needed for so long. Really glad to see this addressed, but have to look up the words for context. But, Thank you. Is this going to be a series, or what else can I work on in recovering from DID?
Fascination by those treating you and your illness, as clarification. Sad but true.
Wow absolutely didn’t even consider this yet in reflection you’re spot on. My life is filled with disconnection. Thanks for the video. Alwaus so so helpful!
You are so welcome!
I absolutely agree. But sometimes it’s hard to get the therapists to see that problem too…
I so wish I could access your services. The NHS waiting lists in my area is 2+ years for an assessment. Then another 2+ years waiting for a start date. I have tertiary DID, and waiting, navigating the collapses, alone, is so painful. Life should be happening now and I feel robbed of it and reshamed 😢
Sorry to hear that. While therapy can mean waiting a bit, we sort out assessment immediately, it only seems right to get answers as soon as possible.
Thank you Dr. Lloyd - informative and helpful as always - cheers, seans
Thank you i feel very held by my therapist at present 🙏🏻
Wonderful!
Thank you. I have been doing a lot of somatic bodywork and experienced how flash or one time coincidentally seing one of the perpetrators made me totally loose contact with muscles in the area of the hip. The body therapist helped me regain consciousness and that is why I know what happened. I have worked from the outside in and from the traumas and in, as most alters were exiled. The last years of therapy has focused on how to live in balance without alters being exiled.
When it comes to therapy in DK. I think that most people suffering from DID og OSDD are still diagnosed with schizophrenia, borderline or scizotype.
I have a confirmed NHS diagnosis of DID but people including professionals often refer EUPD, so frustrating.
Really helpful, have shared with our therapist. Would be helpful to know more about what depersonalisation and déréalisation are, why they happen, how they manifest and what can help and how the therapist should work with it.
My hope is that if you are having therapy for DID, your therapist should know the answers, it is fairly basic stuff!
I’ve had three years over video during Covid with a psychologist trained in trauma. I feel what you said is what has been missing for me , and the body image and disconnection and my eating disorder relating to this is all connected. I’ve had treatment for Ed from a OT but not DID and this relating to my eating disorder. If I’ve had treatment already under the NHS can I still seek more treatment for my DID ?
In my treatment for my ED with a OT I wasn’t allowed to discuss the DID as they were treating the Ed but not depersonalisation and disconnection with my body that is the cause of my ED. So it’s just been well disjointed.
I have better management of my DID the toolbox skills as you said but my eating disorder is still a struggle. Not a dangerous level anymore. ( was before )
i feel like i've been stuck in a loop that is getting tighter and i just can't get out. i don't have a doctor, so i'm not sure what to do ; i just feel like i don't have a life anymore i'm just watching the days go by
Is there something like the CTAD clinic in parts of the US?
I don’t really know, there are pockets of excellent work being done. I would love to do a little tour and find out!
@@thectadclinic
I am in the Midwest, Cleveland, Ohio.
I’m going on the 9th year of therapy. I’ve had many diagnoses, and last year I was diagnosed with DID but told not to tell any of my doctors, and not to announce it, and that she doesn’t treat it. That therapist quit and I was set up with a new therapist about 5 months ago. I am not sure but it seems as if this therapist will be like my past therapists and ignore my symptoms. Treatment for DID doesn’t exist anywhere near me, that I know of. If there is DID trained therapists here in the USA, they are still few and far between, sadly. I am not hopeful I will be helped by a therapist, so I have been trying to help myself. It’s so very difficult & painful though.😢
Another great video ❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
@@thectadclinic thanks 🙏 you help a lot of systems like us.
One thing that at least on reddit's /r/DID is this notion that the end goal is full fusion. I would be content if I could get communication and concord. I don't care if I am We, if We get along and can talk.
Fusion should only be the end goal for those who want to work towards that.
Noticing changes?
Is there any way to access therapy from your clinic for a patient in the US? I’ve had such a hard time finding competent DID specialists / trauma therapists
We would love to be able to offer this, but licensing restriction in the US prevent us from doing so.
What's missing from these videos? Intro music
I did love having that music…
How do you get therapy with you I'm in Aotearoa bit do you give advice to therapist
Same
Can people that are diagnosed with CPTSD / DID drive a car
Yes, if it is risk assessed as safe to do so.
@@thectadclinicI'm sorry for this misdirected questioning, (I'm not even from the same country) but if a person has no prospects or intention of getting "professional" help for something as extreme as a dissociative/personality disorder...do you think they'd be better off not even trying to learn about it on their own or is there a substandard way for them to help themselves?
Like.. for example...say a (personal) system is in place but that it's shared awareness causes the compartmentalized system to not function properly. The obvious answer is the professional help but if that's not on the table.. should one just ease off?
I had my driving license revoked as it was seen as too dangerous to drive, I have to say that was I good decision once I accepted it. A child should not be driving a car nor an angry man looking for a fight.
All depends on the individual, some need to know, some don't@@Michael_X313
Driving helps me to stay safe, strangely. I'm totally aware that I am in charge of a killing machine and that calms me, it puts me, my authentic self in charge. I think 🤔😅