I don't think the "oh I'm sorry" reaction is people expressing regret that you are blind, I'd rather assume it's more like "I'm sorry I didn't realise/I'm sorry, my mistake". It's like when I go "Bonjour, ..." and the person responds in English that they don't speak French, my response is "oh I'm so sorry ". It's just being sorry for my mistake/assuming something about somebody and being wrong.
Rozamunduszek There is that of course, but you'd be surprised how many people actually do apologize and mean it as they're sorry for your blindness. The ones that mean it that way will usually have a particularly pitying tone to their apology and proceed to treat you like you're made of glass or like you're a super hero after that. The people that mean it as just a, "sorry, my mistake. " Are more matter of fact and do just move along normally in conversation. It can still be a bit draining if you're in the wrong mood for it but at least it's a lot better than the pity party. I've come across both types on a regular basis and it's just one of those things that seems to be part of the visual impairment experience. 😓
sure, in many situations, people go on with something and feel terribly bad for not realizing sooner that a person can't do something. In reality though, the other person, more often than not, didn't give any indication that they couldn't do the thing. Most of the time, it's an honest mistake that needs no apology. Whether it's an "I'm sorry for not knowing" or "I'm sorry you can't do that," it can get annoying and frustrating to deal with
Completely agree! Recently I made a hotel room reservation online but then had to call customer service and the girl was really nice and chatty. I loved it. Then she said "Why are you getting this room?" (It was a handicapped room, small with twin bed, bare minimum that they had to do) and I said "Well I am in a wheelchair so I needed to make sure I could get in the bathroom" The girl said "This is one of those "foot in mouth" moments I AM SO SORRY! I FEEL so bad!" and she went on for like 5 minutes. I just kept saying "how were you supposed to know? stop apologizing lol. I know your job is to try and upgrade me so you were trying to do your job...dont worry!" I hate that everyone is so crazy worried about offending people. Of course we shouldn't TRY to offend someone but geez, if our intentions were good, lets move on lol
Yes! Definitely for me. I work in food service and I occasionally have customers who are blind or deaf - but I often have no idea - and usually if I'm say "I'm sorry" it's because I had tried to communicate with them in a way they weren't able to.
Please know that I never set out to deceive people when i comes to my blindness. When I choose not to disclose my blindness, like in situations I mentioned in this video, it’s not something I planned ahead of time. It’s a snap, in the moment decision - do I want to talk about this today or not. 99% of the time I’m going to talk about it, but we ALL have those days. Those days when our mental health, for whatever reason, just isn’t good enough to talk about our breakup, health, job, etc. Remember, you, and I, don’t owe anyone an explanation about anything. It’s a choice to open up. I’m generally an open book, that’s just me. It’s what makes me feel comfortable and confident - knowing I can help spread awareness and knowledge. That doesn’t mean I’m 100% okay to do that all the time. None of us are. Thank you all so much for watching! I hope you could relate to this in some way. :) xox
Molly Burke tthe people who think such a thing that you are lying about blindness, they are with hatred, close minded, uneducated , think their shit don't kind of people half of my in-laws as like that, only a selected few know that I am legally blind, and even those people struggle with it, I guess I his it pretty good I guess, even tho I am always walking into things and tripping over things and etc.
I don't see this as lying. You're not under contract to always disclose that you are blind if you don't feel like doing it in that moment. Your disability. Your life. Your choice
I get accused for lying about being blind all the time because I get around well. I use echo location and since it is not a very big talked about thing most people don't understand it. I have Hypertensive Retinopathy grade 4
Takedownman , I will never understand how people can doubt it. If you would tell me that you are blind while you where juggling... I would be amazed and maybe a bit puzzled ;) but I would never doubt. Because if someone lied to me about it... its on them and not on me.
i have partial vision and due to tummy treatment plan i sometimes see very well and other times don't and people get really confused cause i can walk and read and make eye contact with them but then sometimes i can't see a sign or a photo or their reaction and i can tell they get really confused and sometimes i really hate dealing with and it's nice to hear other people deal with it :)
Hi Molly, When you said "don't apologize" about being blind.. I was thinking about how I would react if I assumed someone was sighted and they informed me that they were blind. I would also say "I'm sorry" but it wouldn't be because I'm sorry about you being blind, it's because I'm sorry I put you in a situation where you had to correct me. Whether this is right or wrong or better than the alternative- it's my natural reaction to apologize for myself and my mistakes even if there would have been no way for me to know otherwise. I think we are raised (maybe in the U.S at least as I've heard we apologize too much haha) that it is polite to apologize for "awkward" situations or mishaps regardless of who's at fault. Just like I'd apologize if I accidentally cut in line. Even if I couldn't see the end of the line or it was a simple mistake, for example. I love your videos! So informative and you are so sweet and honest 💖 Hugs from Michigan 💖
Lauren W Wow, I was going to comment the EXACT SAME thing. I would also apologize, but not in the "I'm sorry you're blind" way, just in the "I'm sorry I assumed that you could see" way. I wish I could like your comment more than once!
I feel like she would be able to tell from their tone of voice which one they meant. Like if they said it sympathetically then they're probably apologizing for her blindness, but if it was more of an "oh! sorry!" thing it would mean they're apologizing for assuming she could see.
Lauren W , I strongly agree. People apologise because they got caught off guard or they don't want to look rude or some other reason. For sighted people that happens maybe one time in years... For blind people it can happen a few times in one day. I don't think Molly takes offens in any shape or form... but it's understandable that some times enough is enough and it's easier to just smile and nod :)
:( I never thought I could be perceived in the wrong way when I say "I'm sorry".. I ALWAYS mean it as in "I'm sorry I didn't realised sooner you have this disability, I would have behaved maybe differently or anyway in a more conscious way, and now I'm worried i said something rude and inappropriate."
I'm legally blind and have a long cane, but i can navigate London really well because I still have my colour (just no definition) and the tube is colour coded, so I help my friends around the city and I must confuse the whole of London, like we were in a rush once and we were running and I had to lead my friends it must have looked hilarious 😅
I am sighted (20/200 in one eye and 20/100 in the other) but I see decently with glasses at 20/40 in one eye and 20/60 in the other but I do have an invisible physical disability. I have chronic pain due to a genetic disorder. I'm 24 and people always say "you're lucky you're young and don't have to go through xyz" not knowing I suffer from chronic pain. Or sometimes I'll just say "I have back problems" without going into detail that I have tumors throughout my spine, enlarged vertebrae, scoliosis, etc and people will respond with "don't we all" or "you're too young to have back problems." It's really hard sometimes to be young with an invisible disability.
Dalai Mami I know the feeling. I have ONH, nystagmus and scoliosis and a lot of the time I'm told get over it by people who don't even know what any of that means. I'm legally blind but I do have vision and so when people see me doing things that they think blind people can't do they accuse me of exaggerating or if my back locks or my muscles spasm people just say "oh you're just being lazy and don't want to do things for yourself" finally someone understands 😂 I'm glad there's people like Molly out there to raise awareness. A lot of people are just ignorant and uneducated when it comes to disability.
Dalai Mami i have a severe form of arthritis (which have completely destroyed plenty of my joints) and something called ehlos danlos syndrome (which is also pain-related) and the things you listed that people say is so true! like "you're too young", "my _______ hurts too" and the #1 "you know, it could be worse!", like honestly fuck you.
I have a invisible disabillity too, but it's on my left knee and I'm still 15, and if I don't use my knee braces or wear pants that cover them people just assume I'm a lazy girl, also I need to explain my situation everytime my pain is way too much ( I suffer from chronic pain too) or my knee locks, so I can somehow feel what you' re going throught ... in schools I need to have my diagnosis handed to all teachers so they can actually believe me. I truly hope you and everyone that also commented on here can be more understood. PS . Sorry if my english is broken, It's not my first language!
Jessica Morén I have Ehlers-Danlos as well. (As does my mother.) You and others here are so right; it is very annoying and often times hurtful to have people make such assumptions based on how we look… As if there is such a thing as "looking too good" to have anything wrong. Or ""too young" or whatever else. I've even had doctors do it. My facial surgeon literally has said, "well, you look great!" when I describe pain in my face from trigeminal neuralgia. Trigeminal neuralgia hardly ever causes any change in looks so it's shocking a specialist is "complimenting" my face as if that's some expert opinion on the nerve damage! The complications from EDS are getting bad again in my jaw, and last week, the same doctor said how good I look. Dismissed the symptoms. Sadly, (Will be going elsewhere from this point forward.)
Katie Kat unfortunatly, most doctors don't even know what eds is. when i got my diagnosis, i was the one to bring it up to my doctor, "ehm, i think i have this" and he was like "hm, yh you're right". and it's like that too often, were we as sick people have to educate medical staff on our disease bc they're clueless. it's tiring. and the suckiest thing - it's not covered by insurance.
Hi Molly, I think that "I'm sorry." can be a knee-jerk response that we all give sometimes, and it might be more of an "I'm sorry I made an assumption." rather than being sorry for your blindness - sometimes. But I certainly get your point, and understand that some days you just don't have the time or energy for the story. I'm afraid I would be one of those people thinking you were training your dog, except that the dogs in training usually have something that says "training" on them. Anyway, great video, as always!
I seriously wish everybody was subscribed to your channel or at least watched a few of your videos. You have taught me so much and I am so grateful for it.
Never realized you were Canadian until you said I'm sorry. I don't know why Canadians make such good youtubers but I realized most of the content I watch is made by them. Another enlightening and interesting video, thank you.
I'm legally blind with a guide dog, but also 'look normal' - as so many people like to tell. I get caught between people thinking I'm not at all blind - and asking if I'm training my dog - and people thinking I'm not blind enough. Sometimes, I pretend to see more than I do because it's just painful to go through 'that' conversation again. Sometimes, I exaggerate my blindness to fit the caricature of what blind looks like.
Sif Dal I feel sorry for having to do these things! Hearing those things make me think how I would and how I maybe could approach someone and not blurt out something stupid
It's definitely not to the same extent but I actually totally get this. I spent the latter part of my childhood in foster care and you wouldn't believe how much that actually comes up in conversation when I meet new people. So things like just chatting about really simple experiences like going on holiday with your family or like the other day we were talking about horses. As soon as I say "oh yeah I went there with my foster family once" or "my foster parents had horses" leads to a whole host of other questions or just awkward reactions from people not knowing what to say. The same with the fact that my Mum died, people ask questions about what I'm doing for mother's day and it makes them really uncomfortable when I say "oh my mum passed away". Most days I'm super chill and will answer all of the questions and reassure people that it's ok to ask, but like you there are some days when I just don't want to talk about it. So I'll avoid saying "foster family" or just give a really vague answer like "oh nothing much" when people ask about mother's day. It's totally awesome that people like you take it upon yourself to be the spokesperson and try to teach other people but it's also ok to take a break some days, you can never be expected to educate everyone on your own. Apologies for the stupidly long comment on a really old video, I'm just binge watching and wanted to share my experience. :)
I went to school for deaf people though I'm not deaf. because there arn't enough deaf people in my town to create a school. we went on a field trip once and someone started talking to the deaf students and a teacher had to tell him that they were deaf. then he proceeded to talk to them but louder. most of them were 100% deaf. people kept telling him they were deaf but he just proceeded to talk louder. until he was literally screaming and everyone was staring at him did he realise they were mostly 100% deaf.
I totally understand girl! Don't feel bad at all. This isn't really the same thing but it's a little similar. I used to live in China, and I can speak fluent Mandarin but I'm Caucasian so Chinese people were always so surprised to hear me speak fluently. So surprised that they would then always ask me a bunch of questions like "How can you speak Chinese? How long did you study? Were you born in China? How long have you been here? How is your Chinese so good?!" And of course these are all like complimentary questions, so you'd think that I would want to show off my Chinese as often as possible so that I can get all these compliments, but no. Sometimes I just wouldn't be in the mood to talk for 5 minutes about my Chinese learning experience. So sometimes I would just pretend that I couldn't really speak Mandarin. Just so that I wouldn't have to chat for 5 minutes with a shopkeeper or whoever about it. Sometimes you're just not in the mood right? Or maybe you're in a hurry.. So I can completely understand why you wouldn't want to talk about your blindness sometimes.
Hi Molly. I have spina bifida and I use a wheelchair. The main thing I've noticed is that people either think I need no personal space whatsoever (so they can put their hands on my shoulder or my HEAD or my chair without asking or that they can't even acknowledge it at all. People think it's rude to mention it, so they teach their children not to even look at me and not to mention it. I wish there wasn't such a strong taboo against asking questions; children learn by asking questions and exploring, and if people would let their children do these things when they're young, maybe there would be fewer scared, confused rude adults.
Your story about the nail salon reminded me of the episode of Friends where Chandler has a guy at the office that thinks his name is Toby and he has never corrected him 😆
SugarSpice Pup , I would not recommend that. Yes, it is an easy way out. But... that would be really lying and that could backfire. And Molly would get many more "I'm sorry" than she would like. But if she would one day "come clean" people would be surprised and could possibly laugh about the situation. Look at it that way, if Molly managed to "hide" her disability for four years, she proofed that blindness does not hinder her. I don't think that people would start to treat her differently after that because they never had to in four years. But if she would tell them now that she just got blind... well... you can imagine how they would react to that. I would not rule out tears ;)
I really feel you on the media stereotype thing. I myself am autistic, or more specifically I have aspergers. When I say that, people automatically assume that I can't experience feelings or have difficulty with conversations, but that isn't true for me. I usually hide it and only tell my best friends, but when I tell someone else they are usually quite shocked. I don't know if you can call autism a disability, but I really feel you on the invisible part. Some days you can tell everyone and some days you just don't even want to mention anything about it. Thank you for sharing this message to the world and make people understand more about these types of things
Jonna , That's understandable. Sometimes you just don't want to stick out and have a peaceful day. Can you tell a bit more about your aspergers? If you don't mind. Because what you just said is actually the only thing that I know about it.
Well autism has a really big spectrum. I myself have aspergers, which is one of the more lighter versions of autism. Autism can also be different for boys and girls, because girls generally are more developed in communication than boys. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and big changes. For example when I have to apply for a job I can get really really anxious and try to avoid everything that has to do with it. For me a side effect is also maladaptive daydreaming (you can read more about it on wikipedia) and I experience feelings really intense. Please note that this is my experience. It's really different for boys, but there are also a lot of different levels of autism. If you have any more questions please let me know :)
My nephew is 6 and Blind. Can you please give me ideas on what he might like that I wouldnt normally think of? He is also mute so he cant tell me. He can hear but he doesn't speak. Thank you :)
i love that you're speaking about this, this video made me feel so much better about my blindness. i completely understand not wanting to explain your invisible disability sometimes, it's an absolute sore to sit and explain forever about your condition and how much you see or not see. thank you for talking about it and your experience, i love it.
Still watching all your videos! So glad Shane introduced me. I have an autoimmune disease that causes chronic pain, fatigue, and those types of things. It is very hard to exercise because of this so naturally, I am overweight. Especially, since I cannot work and thus am living in poverty (and food in the USA is sooo much cheaper for a family of five if it is processed and unhealthy). I get so very sad when people argue I am taking a handicap spot because I am fat or lazy. Or if I am in a flare up and using a wheelchair I have gotten that I am not trying. If I cancel plans I often hear about how the other person is in pain or tired too sometimes and they don’t just QUIT. People can be so ignorant.
I can totally understand. Don't we all have days we don't want to talk about certain things in our life? We all need to breath and you are absolutely entitled to have those days just like we all do :) Love you Molly.
I completely feel you! Somedays you just don't want to advocate for your disability. That doesn't make you a bad person, that makes you human. Love you girl
This totally makes sense! You have educated me on how to better handle interactions I may have with a person who has a disability. I think it is human nature for those of us without a disability to say or react inappropriately, even though we mean well. You are truly beautiful inside and out.
Hi molly, Im sighted but just recently found your channel. You are such an inspiring person, and I really enjoy seeing how you are able to perform daily tasks, especially your makeup, which I think is amazing! You shouldn't have to explain your disability to everyone you meet, so don't apologize or feel the need to justify why you don't tell everyone you meet that you are blind. Your top is gorgeous, by the way, and the color compliments your skin tone and hair so well. Lots of love, Breanna
Hi Molly. I found your channel over the weekend and have binge watched a load of your content. I just wanted to say Thank you. You're an inspiration to many. your ability to stay positive where most people would be extremely negative is a lesson that everyone needs. So once again Thank you Molly
Molly you've honestly opened my eyes so much, I'm now educated about the ways in which a whole community live and it's unfortunate that it's information that doesn't come naturally to me. I think that schools should stop wasting time teaching algebra and teach us the kind of things that you teach us, or basic sign language or anything that opens up our communication and acknowledgment of other people! You're doing an amazing thing!!! Can't wait to watch more
I can definitely relate. I have type one diabetes, which is for the most part an invisible disability, but when people notice the insulin pump then I have to explain. I usually do so readily, but we don't owe anyone explanations. It's not lying to not tell people. You can disclose as much or as little as you want. *You* especially deserve a break sometimes! I think it's awesome that you've devoted your life to explaining disability to people, keep up the good work!
I understand completely. I am partially sighted and had a failed corneal transplant last year. my vision is poor but i can get around on my own and manage well enough. I am also hard of hearing, autistic and have mobility problems. sometimes it's too tiring to explain that this young person who "looks normal" actually has a range of medical problems and disabilities that are invisible for the most part. other times i get frustrated because i need a seat on a bus for example but nobody realises and I don't like confrontation so won't ask. I've become increasingly frustrated over the last while as my health has got worse as i cant get the help I need. even those who know my conditions will say "oh you'll be fine" " you can do it" " it can't be that bad" medics professionals and my family and friends are the only ones who understand and I so thankful that i have them in my life. I do understand it can be extremely hard to notice something that isn't obvious and wish there was more awareness that not all dosavled people look or act in a certain way.
Your so sweet for asking about all disabilities. ❤️ mines Gastroparesis my stomach is super slow make it hard to eat and keep water down. It's roller coaster illness but I still have good days 😊🙏🏼 never know when a flare up is so it's hard to fall through with things. 2008 I was got on disability. I can remember eating normal. But you make me smile and realize what's important in life ❤️
Hey Molly, Sorry for my English... I am just a German Guy watching your videos. I just want to tell you about a great possibility in case of staying in Germany for some holydays. There is the city Marburg Lahn (this "Lahn" is important because there are two different Marburgs in Germany). Marburg is specially created for blind people or better to say recreated... Everyone knows, that the other might be blind so there aren't many awkward conversations... Also there are many students (I mean they go to universities) and many of them came from abroad so most people can speak English. Also Marburg lays on a small mountain, it is very beatyfull (I think you have to believe me in this point... sorry) I just wanted to tell you about it. Maybe you are interested in staying there for a while. Have a good day Sekroy
Molly. I found you just a few days ago, and I am enjoying watching your videos. You have touched me in so many ways...what an incredibly special person you are...truly a gift from God. You are an inspiration to many people on you tube. You have been given tremendous gifts of understanding and compassion. I wish God had empowered more of us with your ability to see things so clearly and the empathy and insight to feel and understand the pain and fear of others. You are a very gifted speaker...I hope I will have the opportunity to meet you in person one day. God bless you and your work.
Such a great video, I completely understand what you're talking about being a chronically ill person. Some days you just don't feel like going into all that and I think that's perfectly okay. I hope you don't feel guilty about it, I felt like I could sense some feelings of guilt throughout the video. You're allowed to have an off day or a day where you don't feel like explaining, you're still a wonderful educator. Sending you lots of love and light!
Molly I do think that when most people say sorry, they dont mean they're sorry your blind. They mean they're sorry they weren't aware and put you in an uncomfortable situation
Just watched this cuz you linked it on twitter and wow this is super awesome! Never thought about this before. Also want to say how much you’ve grown in your camera personality in the last 2 years! The growth is amazing and I love it
Your voice sounds so much like Abigail Breslin. And I just love your videos! We all have days that we just don't want to explain our lives to total strangers, so I totally get this!
Hi Molly! Thanks so much for sharing the information that you did in this video. I stumbled on your videos a couple weeks ago and I have become so much more informed about the blind community because of you. As a nurse, this is really helpful for me, but even more so, just as another human, im so thankful to have found your videos and that you educate people this topic. I would've never known that saying sorry is offensive to you, and now that I hear you say it, I completely agree, it is so offensive to say "sorry" as a reaction to someone who states that they are blind. Thanks for opening my eyes to that! Great video, and that red lip is gorgeous on you!! :)
New sub again binging old videos. I am probably just privileged in being introduced to many disabilities as a young child so all this kind of issues are just old news. Who the crap would have follow up questions to a simple "I am blind" issue. For me I instantly go in to what your needs are. I have that with EVERY disability. Very blessed in different ways for my upbringing.
This video is so relatable... there are often times I don't say something or interact with people cause I don't feel like going on tangents even though I do genuinely like people and most times like interacting but just sometimes you don't want to
Yes Molly ! We know (visually impaired and blind people like you and me) : Disability is a status some people are giving to us. Disabled doesn't mean not able. Take care, keep the great work on !
Your videos are so insightful! I've learned so much about blindness and disabilities in general from your videos. This video makes me wonder how many blind people I've actually encountered and just assumed they were sighted. I didn't know much about the blind community before seeing your videos, and it's been really inspiring! You don't see to let anything get in your way and I love that. Thanks for really opening my eyes to an entire community of people I didn't know much about before! I love you and your videos so much
Hi, Molly! I have an invisible disability and I don't tell anyone. I have a degenerative muscle disease and I look like a normal 19 year old. I don't even tell people when my disease affects my ability to do normal tasks. I've had a lot of people and doctors tell me I'm lying and doing it for attention, and my favorite, that I'm doing it because I don't want to go to school. I gave up on telling people the truth.
Great video again, interesting topic, I don't know if I speak for everybody just I know I do myself when I say I don't think these videos are in anyway basic. I don't know how intense the preparation for these videos are but I would find it very difficult to talk for this long without at least a few jump cuts. You are a great storyteller.
I could not stop smiling as I watched the video :-) You have this happy/mischievous smile and that is contagious :-D As I mentioned before, my grandfather had RP and he was very good at hiding it. He was a very successful real estate agent and many never knew that he was blind. I never saw it as deceiving or lying. He just managed everything well and just never mentioned that he was blind.
Yeah Molly!!!!!! You are a great lady. You know you should ask cited people if they would like to experience going through what you did and be blind for the rest of their lives. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I can relate (to some degree)! I have 3 invisible diseases and it can be very hard to deal with at times. I have Type 1 Diabetes, Celiac Disease, and Rheumatoid Arthritis. I'm 21 years old. I can't tell you the countless amount of times I've gotten the "You don't look sick" or "But you are too young" comments. Not to mention my diseases get made fun of or are used in casual jokes all the time. When people say "Oh that's so sweet it will give me diabetes" & "my bones crack when I stand up, I must have arthritis" & "people who eat gluten free are pretentious" it totally discourages me from talking about my health to them. I'm not ashamed to talk about my health, but yes, some days, all I can do is keep quiet. Thank you Molly for opening up a platform for us to talk freely :)
I’m in a wheelchair, so I obviously have a visible disability. It is a pain in public because people assume that I need more help than I need. I’m the kind of person where if I need help, I will ask. So many people think I can’t do things for myself and often think that I am also mentally challenged. If I am with a caregiver, they will often ask them questions or talk to them instead of asking me.
I'm very thankful for being as educated as I am about different people who go through different things. My response to "I'm (insert disability or otherwise here)" is always "Oh, okay. Would you like paper or plastic?" Because unless it really matters in the situation, it doesn't matter.
I always wonder when and to who I should explain Tourette's to. Like, it's obvious that I'm "behaving" weirdly, but people don't always know why and their reactions can be more unpredictable than my tics. Explaining does help a bit with that, but I don't always want to explain for the reasons you mentioned in the video. My fibromyalgia/CFS is different because it really is invisible and therefore people might think I'm faking my symptoms or that I can do more than I can. The assumption is that I'm a healthy person walking unreasonably slow. Some people assumed I have an injury and it's hard to explain that there's nothing physically wrong with my body. My brain just stupidly tells me I'm in pain all the time. And sometimes I think people want a better explanation than "no one knows why this happens", but I really can't give it to them.
Snapple and Cats I understand what you mean about Tourette's. My sister has a hard time with that too, she is never sure when to disclose that she has it, or risk having vocal or motor tics without people knowing and feeling awkward about it.
Oh I tic pretty constantly, so people probably hear me before I even enter the room. I always explain it to people I'm going to be dealing with for long amounts of time, but I never know like, do I explain it to the cashier? Do I explain it to our waitress? The lady at the front desk? That lady looking at me strange in the grocery store? I know I don't "owe" anybody an explanation, but explaining in the right situations can definitely make things easier. Sometimes I feel like wearing a humongous sign with a detailed explanation of Tourette's lol.
As a cashier myself I can say that I see a lot of people everyday and everybody has their own quirky way to handle situations. Maybe this is a weird comparison, but for example, when someone drops a product I think to myself: well, things like that can happen to anyone and I don't think that person is weird or something. When I would see a person tic I just think: oh, that's something that's part of that person or just something that person needs/likes (I don't really know the word for this) to do. I don't think it's necessary to tell you have Tourettes. When someone doesn't need to explain why they accidently dropped something, then I don't think you need to explain why you said something or did that movement with you body. I hope this helped you a bit (btw sorry if my English is bad, I'm not a native speaker (well that's contradictory, now I'm explaining myself XD))
Jonna That's great to know. And I guess if they thought I was weird, it'd still be a short interaction, so it probably wouldn't matter. And are you kidding? Your English is great. I'm struggling through learning French right now and I'm nowhere near the point where I could write what you just wrote.
Awh thank you! I also study French, but I think French is way more difficult than English XD. I know what tourettes is, but I think for people who have never even heard of it, may act a little different. I think that no one is completely normal and that's totally acceptable :)
Aw explaining to people aLL THE TIME is so annoying. I’m sorry Molly, that is so rough. I love that u love to educate people though your such an angel 💜.
Hi Molly: You've touched on stereotypic blindness or what the media portrays as a typical person with blindness. Can you please answer two questions for me? The first: Do you find your other senses have sharpened or become more sensitive to help compensate for your lack of sight? And the second: Is there a preferred way to refer to someone with a vision loss specifically "a blind person" vs "a person with blindness" or "a visually impaired person" vs "a person with a visual impairment"? I know in communities with other types of disabilities, there is but haven't heard your feelings on it or if it matters one way or the other to you. Thank you.
It's okay not feeling like explaining your blindness to others. There's SO much more to you than the fact you've lost your sight and there could be loads of other things you'd like to talk or chat about but blindness just happens to be the one that sticks out.
I have an invisible disability. I have very severe anxiety and other mental illnesses and I'm in special education for my emotional disability. I'm planning on getting a psychiatric service dog soon because I love animals and I think a service dog could be very helpful for me. Sometimes I wish that people could see my disability while I'm in public because I need help doing things but I'm also embarrassed of my emotional disability and don't want to explain it to people. I also have selective mutism so talking is very difficult for me. I'm hoping that a service dog could also help some people understand that I do have a disability even though you can't see it. I love your videos about disability, mental health, and your service dog. Thanks so much for being so inspirational and helpful for me. I'm only 16 and it's nice to have someone a bit older to look up to. Thanks for everything you do! Love you, Molly! 💜
Of course she was trying to sing with you!) Many dogs do that! My neighbors had a dog who sang when I played harmonica, and sometimes even in tune with it😊
i defenitely think we can count blindness as an invisible disabilitie. i myself have an anxiety disorder and depression. and i always have to explain to people and they still dont understand. so i totally get what your saying.
For completely different reasons I kind of get this. It makes sense. None of us are "on" all the time. Like you said, some days you just don't feel like explaining.
First, love your videos. Second, I love how you don't have much of an accent except for certain words like "sorry". I have some Canadian relatives and think their accent is awesome.
Hello Molly, I am an amputee below the knee on my right side and it is pretty visible when I am wearing shorts but when I am wearing pants, like for work, no one really knows. This has led into many situations where I can act fully able and not tell anyone I am an amputee or I can tell them I am and have to answer all the questions that come with it. So I know how you feel on those off days when you don’t want to discuss the how, why, when questions. I have had people I work with for years not even know I am an amputee just because I do not want to be treated any different or have them take pitty on me and not think I can get the job done when I clearly can. Thank you for your videos they are great!!!
im sighted, but as a person with invisible illnesses i definitely understand and relate to your experiences. there are so many times where im just too exhausted or in a hurry to explain every detail of my illness to someone, so i often play it off like its not a big deal or just be rather vague about it. unfortunately since i dont use mobility devices and i dont usually "look" disabled, ive had people tell me im a hypochondriac or im over-exaggerating. however, ive come to realize that i dont owe anyone anything. you shouldnt have to convince people to believe you or prove your disability to anyone.
Thank you for the clarification Molly. I love that you take the time To make videos To explain why sometimes you may look sighted because it is helpful for people who think you "fake" To understand that you are not faking and here is why it might sometimes be difficult To make the differientiation. I know it is not the same at all, but i kinda understand when you talk about invisible disability because even though i dont see myself as a disable person i still have a health issue that prevents me from doing certain things (i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia) and it is not visible so people often think that i am either liying or that its all in my head which sucks. I doubted my doctor for so many years. I wish it was all in my head. I tried everything and nothing helps or work. And I totally get that sometimes you just dont feel like explaining To people what is going on. I personnally most of the time rather act as if i was "normal" instead of going through the explanation and all the jugements going with it, because no one understands why i live like an old woman and dont do much for my "young" age....because i "look" okay...I look like any late 20's woman from the outside, but not from inside And it was like that since i was 19. Anyway, love your videos! As always :) xxxx
I think I might be able to relate to you and why you do not disclose your blindness, I have Crohn's disease, been through several surgeries so I do have some complications I need to live with, but one of them is having friends and family not really understanding what I can do and when I really can't leave the house. TLDR: We don't want to disclose our condition to "strangers" because it saves all parties involved for a story telling that can be skipped! PS: Greetings from Norway, keep up the great work!
I totally get you, Molly. When people apologize to me that I can't walk, I simply chuckle and tell them why they're sorry. It wasn't their fault. But I do agree it makes you uncomfortable.
I cannot say how much I agree with this video. People do not always believe me when I am blind. If someone talks to me I always know to look in their direction and so many other "sighted" behaviors. I see this problem a lot in college, people don't get why I have this stick in my hand.
Molly, I wanna give you a big hug. You're so inspiring and your passion for educating makes me want to go out and do the same lol thank you for being here
Hello Molly!! I have bipolar disorder, and ocular migraines with nystagmus and dipoplia. (the former obviously invisible). When I get a migraine, a couple of times I have fallen and been unable to stand up. Someone once asked me if I would like him to call me an ambulance to which I responded, "No!! it's OK!!! I just have a migraine!!!" As you know, the nystagmus causes vertigo etc. However I have a different kind of problem....
Sometimes I do that for my Asperger's syndrome. I have needs, but I don't usually tell people it's Autism, and unless I'm having a bad day and have my noise cancelling headphones on, or I'm stimming, people never know. I don't even tend to disclose it to people I see on a regular basis. I know it's different to blindness, but I thought it would interest some people to know that most invisible illnesses and disabilities are not always disclosed, and the same goes for visible ones if they can be hidden. We don't always want to be inspirational people 24/7. I think it's cool that you are so open about your disabilities, Molly! I'm kind of at the stage you were when you were 14. (I'm 13 and am going through the denial/mental health crisis phase)
You are extremely good at looking at things and making eye contact. So much so that even though you said you were blind near the start of the first video of yours which I watched, it was disorienting to think of you as blind while watching you look at things and make eye contact just as well as a lot of sighted you-tubers. It does not surprise me at all that you are able to pretend that you are sighed when you wish to.
Molly I love your videos and confidence, and ever since I started watching them I've taken more care of myself and put effort into how I want to look instead of just wishing I looked as good as you. I seriously think you could be a model lol Please never stop making videos!
I don't think the "oh I'm sorry" reaction is people expressing regret that you are blind, I'd rather assume it's more like "I'm sorry I didn't realise/I'm sorry, my mistake".
It's like when I go "Bonjour, ..." and the person responds in English that they don't speak French, my response is "oh I'm so sorry ". It's just being sorry for my mistake/assuming something about somebody and being wrong.
Yes but people can be very patronizing even when their intentions are good
Rozamunduszek There is that of course, but you'd be surprised how many people actually do apologize and mean it as they're sorry for your blindness. The ones that mean it that way will usually have a particularly pitying tone to their apology and proceed to treat you like you're made of glass or like you're a super hero after that. The people that mean it as just a, "sorry, my mistake. " Are more matter of fact and do just move along normally in conversation. It can still be a bit draining if you're in the wrong mood for it but at least it's a lot better than the pity party. I've come across both types on a regular basis and it's just one of those things that seems to be part of the visual impairment experience. 😓
sure, in many situations, people go on with something and feel terribly bad for not realizing sooner that a person can't do something. In reality though, the other person, more often than not, didn't give any indication that they couldn't do the thing. Most of the time, it's an honest mistake that needs no apology. Whether it's an "I'm sorry for not knowing" or "I'm sorry you can't do that," it can get annoying and frustrating to deal with
Completely agree! Recently I made a hotel room reservation online but then had to call customer service and the girl was really nice and chatty. I loved it. Then she said "Why are you getting this room?" (It was a handicapped room, small with twin bed, bare minimum that they had to do) and I said "Well I am in a wheelchair so I needed to make sure I could get in the bathroom" The girl said "This is one of those "foot in mouth" moments I AM SO SORRY! I FEEL so bad!" and she went on for like 5 minutes. I just kept saying "how were you supposed to know? stop apologizing lol. I know your job is to try and upgrade me so you were trying to do your job...dont worry!" I hate that everyone is so crazy worried about offending people. Of course we shouldn't TRY to offend someone but geez, if our intentions were good, lets move on lol
Yes! Definitely for me. I work in food service and I occasionally have customers who are blind or deaf - but I often have no idea - and usually if I'm say "I'm sorry" it's because I had tried to communicate with them in a way they weren't able to.
Please know that I never set out to deceive people when i comes to my blindness. When I choose not to disclose my blindness, like in situations I mentioned in this video, it’s not something I planned ahead of time. It’s a snap, in the moment decision - do I want to talk about this today or not. 99% of the time I’m going to talk about it, but we ALL have those days. Those days when our mental health, for whatever reason, just isn’t good enough to talk about our breakup, health, job, etc. Remember, you, and I, don’t owe anyone an explanation about anything. It’s a choice to open up. I’m generally an open book, that’s just me. It’s what makes me feel comfortable and confident - knowing I can help spread awareness and knowledge. That doesn’t mean I’m 100% okay to do that all the time. None of us are.
Thank you all so much for watching! I hope you could relate to this in some way. :) xox
Molly Burke I am legally blind and I am 11 years old. I want to get a guide dog.
You are so fantastic! I love your stories. Please check out my channel.
Love your videos keep it up another great video!!!!!!!!!!!
Molly Burke tthe people who think such a thing that you are lying about blindness, they are with hatred, close minded, uneducated , think their shit don't kind of people half of my in-laws as like that, only a selected few know that I am legally blind, and even those people struggle with it, I guess I his it pretty good I guess, even tho I am always walking into things and tripping over things and etc.
we all love u molly
I don't see this as lying. You're not under contract to always disclose that you are blind if you don't feel like doing it in that moment. Your disability. Your life. Your choice
I agree your disability your life no one can change that LOL but you do not need to apologize I agree with that
I get accused for lying about being blind all the time because I get around well. I use echo location and since it is not a very big talked about thing most people don't understand it. I have Hypertensive Retinopathy grade 4
Takedownman , I will never understand how people can doubt it. If you would tell me that you are blind while you where juggling... I would be amazed and maybe a bit puzzled ;) but I would never doubt. Because if someone lied to me about it... its on them and not on me.
i have partial vision and due to tummy treatment plan i sometimes see very well and other times don't and people get really confused cause i can walk and read and make eye contact with them but then sometimes i can't see a sign or a photo or their reaction and i can tell they get really confused and sometimes i really hate dealing with and it's nice to hear other people deal with it :)
Hi Molly, When you said "don't apologize" about being blind.. I was thinking about how I would react if I assumed someone was sighted and they informed me that they were blind. I would also say "I'm sorry" but it wouldn't be because I'm sorry about you being blind, it's because I'm sorry I put you in a situation where you had to correct me. Whether this is right or wrong or better than the alternative- it's my natural reaction to apologize for myself and my mistakes even if there would have been no way for me to know otherwise. I think we are raised (maybe in the U.S at least as I've heard we apologize too much haha) that it is polite to apologize for "awkward" situations or mishaps regardless of who's at fault. Just like I'd apologize if I accidentally cut in line. Even if I couldn't see the end of the line or it was a simple mistake, for example.
I love your videos! So informative and you are so sweet and honest 💖 Hugs from Michigan 💖
Lauren W good points!!
Lauren W Wow, I was going to comment the EXACT SAME thing. I would also apologize, but not in the "I'm sorry you're blind" way, just in the "I'm sorry I assumed that you could see" way. I wish I could like your comment more than once!
I agree. Also, if you live in Canada (which Molly does), people do say "I'm sorry" for a lot of things - even if they didn't do anything wrong! LOL
I feel like she would be able to tell from their tone of voice which one they meant. Like if they said it sympathetically then they're probably apologizing for her blindness, but if it was more of an "oh! sorry!" thing it would mean they're apologizing for assuming she could see.
Lauren W , I strongly agree. People apologise because they got caught off guard or they don't want to look rude or some other reason. For sighted people that happens maybe one time in years... For blind people it can happen a few times in one day. I don't think Molly takes offens in any shape or form... but it's understandable that some times enough is enough and it's easier to just smile and nod :)
:( I never thought I could be perceived in the wrong way when I say "I'm sorry".. I ALWAYS mean it as in "I'm sorry I didn't realised sooner you have this disability, I would have behaved maybe differently or anyway in a more conscious way, and now I'm worried i said something rude and inappropriate."
I'm legally blind and have a long cane, but i can navigate London really well because I still have my colour (just no definition) and the tube is colour coded, so I help my friends around the city and I must confuse the whole of London, like we were in a rush once and we were running and I had to lead my friends it must have looked hilarious 😅
I bet that does look a little bit funny LOL
I am sighted (20/200 in one eye and 20/100 in the other) but I see decently with glasses at 20/40 in one eye and 20/60 in the other but I do have an invisible physical disability. I have chronic pain due to a genetic disorder. I'm 24 and people always say "you're lucky you're young and don't have to go through xyz" not knowing I suffer from chronic pain. Or sometimes I'll just say "I have back problems" without going into detail that I have tumors throughout my spine, enlarged vertebrae, scoliosis, etc and people will respond with "don't we all" or "you're too young to have back problems." It's really hard sometimes to be young with an invisible disability.
Dalai Mami I know the feeling. I have ONH, nystagmus and scoliosis and a lot of the time I'm told get over it by people who don't even know what any of that means. I'm legally blind but I do have vision and so when people see me doing things that they think blind people can't do they accuse me of exaggerating or if my back locks or my muscles spasm people just say "oh you're just being lazy and don't want to do things for yourself" finally someone understands 😂 I'm glad there's people like Molly out there to raise awareness. A lot of people are just ignorant and uneducated when it comes to disability.
Dalai Mami i have a severe form of arthritis (which have completely destroyed plenty of my joints) and something called ehlos danlos syndrome (which is also pain-related) and the things you listed that people say is so true! like "you're too young", "my _______ hurts too" and the #1 "you know, it could be worse!", like honestly fuck you.
I have a invisible disabillity too, but it's on my left knee and I'm still 15, and if I don't use my knee braces or wear pants that cover them people just assume I'm a lazy girl, also I need to explain my situation everytime my pain is way too much ( I suffer from chronic pain too) or my knee locks, so I can somehow feel what you' re going throught ... in schools I need to have my diagnosis handed to all teachers so they can actually believe me. I truly hope you and everyone that also commented on here can be more understood.
PS . Sorry if my english is broken, It's not my first language!
Jessica Morén I have Ehlers-Danlos as well. (As does my mother.) You and others here are so right; it is very annoying and often times hurtful to have people make such assumptions based on how we look… As if there is such a thing as "looking too good" to have anything wrong. Or ""too young" or whatever else.
I've even had doctors do it. My facial surgeon literally has said, "well, you look great!" when I describe pain in my face from trigeminal neuralgia. Trigeminal neuralgia hardly ever causes any change in looks so it's shocking a specialist is "complimenting" my face as if that's some expert opinion on the nerve damage! The complications from EDS are getting bad again in my jaw, and last week, the same doctor said how good I look. Dismissed the symptoms. Sadly, (Will be going elsewhere from this point forward.)
Katie Kat unfortunatly, most doctors don't even know what eds is. when i got my diagnosis, i was the one to bring it up to my doctor, "ehm, i think i have this" and he was like "hm, yh you're right". and it's like that too often, were we as sick people have to educate medical staff on our disease bc they're clueless. it's tiring. and the suckiest thing - it's not covered by insurance.
You look beautiful in that color, Molly!
Why thank you! :D
Molly Burke it looks beautiful with your hair color and your the color of your skin 💕
Hero its bordeaux
I agree. This is your color.
Hi Molly, I think that "I'm sorry." can be a knee-jerk response that we all give sometimes, and it might be more of an "I'm sorry I made an assumption." rather than being sorry for your blindness - sometimes. But I certainly get your point, and understand that some days you just don't have the time or energy for the story. I'm afraid I would be one of those people thinking you were training your dog, except that the dogs in training usually have something that says "training" on them. Anyway, great video, as always!
I'm sorry the Leafs haven't won the cup in fifty years. Really.
I seriously wish everybody was subscribed to your channel or at least watched a few of your videos. You have taught me so much and I am so grateful for it.
Never realized you were Canadian until you said I'm sorry. I don't know why Canadians make such good youtubers but I realized most of the content I watch is made by them. Another enlightening and interesting video, thank you.
AJ I also love how she says PRO-cess and one other word I can't remember but has that same long o infection lol
The truth. They are real and down to earth.
I'm legally blind with a guide dog, but also 'look normal' - as so many people like to tell. I get caught between people thinking I'm not at all blind - and asking if I'm training my dog - and people thinking I'm not blind enough. Sometimes, I pretend to see more than I do because it's just painful to go through 'that' conversation again. Sometimes, I exaggerate my blindness to fit the caricature of what blind looks like.
Sif Dal I feel sorry for having to do these things! Hearing those things make me think how I would and how I maybe could approach someone and not blurt out something stupid
It's definitely not to the same extent but I actually totally get this. I spent the latter part of my childhood in foster care and you wouldn't believe how much that actually comes up in conversation when I meet new people. So things like just chatting about really simple experiences like going on holiday with your family or like the other day we were talking about horses. As soon as I say "oh yeah I went there with my foster family once" or "my foster parents had horses" leads to a whole host of other questions or just awkward reactions from people not knowing what to say. The same with the fact that my Mum died, people ask questions about what I'm doing for mother's day and it makes them really uncomfortable when I say "oh my mum passed away". Most days I'm super chill and will answer all of the questions and reassure people that it's ok to ask, but like you there are some days when I just don't want to talk about it. So I'll avoid saying "foster family" or just give a really vague answer like "oh nothing much" when people ask about mother's day. It's totally awesome that people like you take it upon yourself to be the spokesperson and try to teach other people but it's also ok to take a break some days, you can never be expected to educate everyone on your own.
Apologies for the stupidly long comment on a really old video, I'm just binge watching and wanted to share my experience. :)
I went to school for deaf people though I'm not deaf. because there arn't enough deaf people in my town to create a school. we went on a field trip once and someone started talking to the deaf students and a teacher had to tell him that they were deaf. then he proceeded to talk to them but louder. most of them were 100% deaf. people kept telling him they were deaf but he just proceeded to talk louder. until he was literally screaming and everyone was staring at him did he realise they were mostly 100% deaf.
This was very educational. It also makes me think about my responses to finding out about a person's condition (blindness or otherwise).
Thank you so much for making these videos. As a sighted person, it really helps me better understand how other people "see" things.
I totally understand girl! Don't feel bad at all.
This isn't really the same thing but it's a little similar.
I used to live in China, and I can speak fluent Mandarin but I'm Caucasian so Chinese people were always so surprised to hear me speak fluently.
So surprised that they would then always ask me a bunch of questions like "How can you speak Chinese? How long did you study? Were you born in China? How long have you been here? How is your Chinese so good?!"
And of course these are all like complimentary questions, so you'd think that I would want to show off my Chinese as often as possible so that I can get all these compliments, but no.
Sometimes I just wouldn't be in the mood to talk for 5 minutes about my Chinese learning experience. So sometimes I would just pretend that I couldn't really speak Mandarin. Just so that I wouldn't have to chat for 5 minutes with a shopkeeper or whoever about it.
Sometimes you're just not in the mood right? Or maybe you're in a hurry..
So I can completely understand why you wouldn't want to talk about your blindness sometimes.
Hi Molly. I have spina bifida and I use a wheelchair. The main thing I've noticed is that people either think I need no personal space whatsoever (so they can put their hands on my shoulder or my HEAD or my chair without asking or that they can't even acknowledge it at all. People think it's rude to mention it, so they teach their children not to even look at me and not to mention it. I wish there wasn't such a strong taboo against asking questions; children learn by asking questions and exploring, and if people would let their children do these things when they're young, maybe there would be fewer scared, confused rude adults.
*puppy dreaming*
Your story about the nail salon reminded me of the episode of Friends where Chandler has a guy at the office that thinks his name is Toby and he has never corrected him 😆
Why not tell your nail salon that your vision has decreased?
SugarSpice Pup , I would not recommend that. Yes, it is an easy way out. But... that would be really lying and that could backfire. And Molly would get many more "I'm sorry" than she would like. But if she would one day "come clean" people would be surprised and could possibly laugh about the situation. Look at it that way, if Molly managed to "hide" her disability for four years, she proofed that blindness does not hinder her. I don't think that people would start to treat her differently after that because they never had to in four years. But if she would tell them now that she just got blind... well... you can imagine how they would react to that. I would not rule out tears ;)
I really feel you on the media stereotype thing. I myself am autistic, or more specifically I have aspergers. When I say that, people automatically assume that I can't experience feelings or have difficulty with conversations, but that isn't true for me. I usually hide it and only tell my best friends, but when I tell someone else they are usually quite shocked. I don't know if you can call autism a disability, but I really feel you on the invisible part. Some days you can tell everyone and some days you just don't even want to mention anything about it. Thank you for sharing this message to the world and make people understand more about these types of things
Jonna , That's understandable. Sometimes you just don't want to stick out and have a peaceful day. Can you tell a bit more about your aspergers? If you don't mind. Because what you just said is actually the only thing that I know about it.
Well autism has a really big spectrum. I myself have aspergers, which is one of the more lighter versions of autism. Autism can also be different for boys and girls, because girls generally are more developed in communication than boys. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and big changes. For example when I have to apply for a job I can get really really anxious and try to avoid everything that has to do with it. For me a side effect is also maladaptive daydreaming (you can read more about it on wikipedia) and I experience feelings really intense. Please note that this is my experience. It's really different for boys, but there are also a lot of different levels of autism. If you have any more questions please let me know :)
@@jonna8127
Oh well, it's been a year since you posted this comment(I know super early reply😁🌹).So how are you doing?
My nephew is 6 and Blind. Can you please give me ideas on what he might like that I wouldnt normally think of? He is also mute so he cant tell me. He can hear but he doesn't speak. Thank you :)
I'd say any tactile toys - clay, play-doh, stress balls, those kind of fun, squishy things!
Definitely things with lots of texture! Kinetic sand might be fun for him, the texture is SO weird.
i love that you're speaking about this, this video made me feel so much better about my blindness. i completely understand not wanting to explain your invisible disability sometimes, it's an absolute sore to sit and explain forever about your condition and how much
you see or not see. thank you for talking about it and your experience, i love it.
Still watching all your videos! So glad Shane introduced me. I have an autoimmune disease that causes chronic pain, fatigue, and those types of things. It is very hard to exercise because of this so naturally, I am overweight. Especially, since I cannot work and thus am living in poverty (and food in the USA is sooo much cheaper for a family of five if it is processed and unhealthy). I get so very sad when people argue I am taking a handicap spot because I am fat or lazy. Or if I am in a flare up and using a wheelchair I have gotten that I am not trying. If I cancel plans I often hear about how the other person is in pain or tired too sometimes and they don’t just QUIT.
People can be so ignorant.
I can totally understand. Don't we all have days we don't want to talk about certain things in our life? We all need to breath and you are absolutely entitled to have those days just like we all do :) Love you Molly.
I completely feel you! Somedays you just don't want to advocate for your disability. That doesn't make you a bad person, that makes you human. Love you girl
This totally makes sense! You have educated me on how to better handle interactions I may have with a person who has a disability. I think it is human nature for those of us without a disability to say or react inappropriately, even though we mean well. You are truly beautiful inside and out.
Hi molly,
Im sighted but just recently found your channel. You are such an inspiring person, and I really enjoy seeing how you are able to perform daily tasks, especially your makeup, which I think is amazing! You shouldn't have to explain your disability to everyone you meet, so don't apologize or feel the need to justify why you don't tell everyone you meet that you are blind.
Your top is gorgeous, by the way, and the color compliments your skin tone and hair so well.
Lots of love,
Breanna
I just realized molly only has 47,000 subs and just... how... she deserves way more subs than that
kelly couch 1 million
@@applesong01 1.3 million
@@bonitadragon8153 1.7 Million!
Hi Molly. I found your channel over the weekend and have binge watched a load of your content. I just wanted to say Thank you. You're an inspiration to many. your ability to stay positive where most people would be extremely negative is a lesson that everyone needs. So once again
Thank you Molly
Molly you've honestly opened my eyes so much, I'm now educated about the ways in which a whole community live and it's unfortunate that it's information that doesn't come naturally to me.
I think that schools should stop wasting time teaching algebra and teach us the kind of things that you teach us, or basic sign language or anything that opens up our communication and acknowledgment of other people!
You're doing an amazing thing!!! Can't wait to watch more
I can definitely relate. I have type one diabetes, which is for the most part an invisible disability, but when people notice the insulin pump then I have to explain. I usually do so readily, but we don't owe anyone explanations. It's not lying to not tell people. You can disclose as much or as little as you want. *You* especially deserve a break sometimes! I think it's awesome that you've devoted your life to explaining disability to people, keep up the good work!
I understand completely. I am partially sighted and had a failed corneal transplant last year. my vision is poor but i can get around on my own and manage well enough. I am also hard of hearing, autistic and have mobility problems. sometimes it's too tiring to explain that this young person who "looks normal" actually has a range of medical problems and disabilities that are invisible for the most part. other times i get frustrated because i need a seat on a bus for example but nobody realises and I don't like confrontation so won't ask. I've become increasingly frustrated over the last while as my health has got worse as i cant get the help I need. even those who know my conditions will say "oh you'll be fine" " you can do it" " it can't be that bad" medics professionals and my family and friends are the only ones who understand and I so thankful that i have them in my life. I do understand it can be extremely hard to notice something that isn't obvious and wish there was more awareness that not all dosavled people look or act in a certain way.
Please do all your videos in this background, you look fabulous! I love how the colors compliment each other.
I love how you say "Sorry." It is so great and makes me smile so much. :)
Your so sweet for asking about all disabilities. ❤️ mines Gastroparesis my stomach is super slow make it hard to eat and keep water down. It's roller coaster illness but I still have good days 😊🙏🏼 never know when a flare up is so it's hard to fall through with things. 2008 I was got on disability. I can remember eating normal. But you make me smile and realize what's important in life ❤️
you inspire me, not for being blind,just for the down to earth woman you are. Thank you
Hey Molly,
Sorry for my English... I am just a German Guy watching your videos.
I just want to tell you about a great possibility in case of staying in Germany for some holydays. There is the city Marburg Lahn (this "Lahn" is important because there are two different Marburgs in Germany). Marburg is specially created for blind people or better to say recreated... Everyone knows, that the other might be blind so there aren't many awkward conversations... Also there are many students (I mean they go to universities) and many of them came from abroad so most people can speak English.
Also Marburg lays on a small mountain, it is very beatyfull (I think you have to believe me in this point... sorry) I just wanted to tell you about it. Maybe you are interested in staying there for a while.
Have a good day
Sekroy
Sekroy that's awesome!
That's really interesting!!!
Molly. I found you just a few days ago, and I am enjoying watching your videos. You have touched me in so many ways...what an incredibly special person you are...truly a gift from God. You are an inspiration to many people on you tube. You have been given tremendous gifts of understanding and compassion. I wish God had empowered more of us with your ability to see things so clearly and the empathy and insight to feel and understand the pain and fear of others. You are a very gifted speaker...I hope I will have the opportunity to meet you in person one day. God bless you and your work.
Such a great video, I completely understand what you're talking about being a chronically ill person. Some days you just don't feel like going into all that and I think that's perfectly okay. I hope you don't feel guilty about it, I felt like I could sense some feelings of guilt throughout the video. You're allowed to have an off day or a day where you don't feel like explaining, you're still a wonderful educator. Sending you lots of love and light!
Molly I do think that when most people say sorry, they dont mean they're sorry your blind. They mean they're sorry they weren't aware and put you in an uncomfortable situation
Just watched this cuz you linked it on twitter and wow this is super awesome! Never thought about this before. Also want to say how much you’ve grown in your camera personality in the last 2 years! The growth is amazing and I love it
Your voice sounds so much like Abigail Breslin. And I just love your videos! We all have days that we just don't want to explain our lives to total strangers, so I totally get this!
Hi Molly! Thanks so much for sharing the information that you did in this video. I stumbled on your videos a couple weeks ago and I have become so much more informed about the blind community because of you. As a nurse, this is really helpful for me, but even more so, just as another human, im so thankful to have found your videos and that you educate people this topic. I would've never known that saying sorry is offensive to you, and now that I hear you say it, I completely agree, it is so offensive to say "sorry" as a reaction to someone who states that they are blind. Thanks for opening my eyes to that! Great video, and that red lip is gorgeous on you!! :)
Could you do a video on times that you have used your blindness to get out of a bad situation?
Gypsy singing along is the CUTEST thing! What a sweetheart to want to join in.
New sub again binging old videos. I am probably just privileged in being introduced to many disabilities as a young child so all this kind of issues are just old news. Who the crap would have follow up questions to a simple "I am blind" issue. For me I instantly go in to what your needs are. I have that with EVERY disability. Very blessed in different ways for my upbringing.
I literally can not get enough of your videos! You are the sweetest person! Such interesting stories
Thank you for sharing! This may sound silly, but when I sing in front of my dog, I don't want her to think I'm a bad singer either. 😉 lol
I really think your such a cool person. Bless you Molly.
This video is so relatable... there are often times I don't say something or interact with people cause I don't feel like going on tangents even though I do genuinely like people and most times like interacting but just sometimes you don't want to
Yes Molly ! We know (visually impaired and blind people like you and me) : Disability is a status some people are giving to us. Disabled doesn't mean not able.
Take care, keep the great work on !
Your videos are so insightful! I've learned so much about blindness and disabilities in general from your videos. This video makes me wonder how many blind people I've actually encountered and just assumed they were sighted. I didn't know much about the blind community before seeing your videos, and it's been really inspiring! You don't see to let anything get in your way and I love that. Thanks for really opening my eyes to an entire community of people I didn't know much about before! I love you and your videos so much
Hi, Molly! I have an invisible disability and I don't tell anyone. I have a degenerative muscle disease and I look like a normal 19 year old. I don't even tell people when my disease affects my ability to do normal tasks. I've had a lot of people and doctors tell me I'm lying and doing it for attention, and my favorite, that I'm doing it because I don't want to go to school. I gave up on telling people the truth.
Great video again, interesting topic, I don't know if I speak for everybody just I know I do myself when I say I don't think these videos are in anyway basic. I don't know how intense the preparation for these videos are but I would find it very difficult to talk for this long without at least a few jump cuts. You are a great storyteller.
You are a strong, empowered, inspiring young woman. Go YOU!
I’ve been binge watching your videos Molly! And not skipping the adds.
I could not stop smiling as I watched the video :-) You have this happy/mischievous smile and that is contagious :-D
As I mentioned before, my grandfather had RP and he was very good at hiding it. He was a very successful real estate agent and many never knew that he was blind. I never saw it as deceiving or lying. He just managed everything well and just never mentioned that he was blind.
Yeah Molly!!!!!!
You are a great lady. You know you should ask cited people if they would like to experience going through what you did and be blind for the rest of their lives.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I have definitely done the same thing in similar situations! And I loved hearing Gallop puppy dreaming. My guide dog Tasha does that all the time!
thanks you so much for your videos. they're super educational, especially since media really does portray them as helpless.
I can relate (to some degree)!
I have 3 invisible diseases and it can be very hard to deal with at times. I have Type 1 Diabetes, Celiac Disease, and Rheumatoid Arthritis. I'm 21 years old.
I can't tell you the countless amount of times I've gotten the "You don't look sick" or "But you are too young" comments. Not to mention my diseases get made fun of or are used in casual jokes all the time.
When people say "Oh that's so sweet it will give me diabetes" & "my bones crack when I stand up, I must have arthritis" & "people who eat gluten free are pretentious" it totally discourages me from talking about my health to them. I'm not ashamed to talk about my health, but yes, some days, all I can do is keep quiet.
Thank you Molly for opening up a platform for us to talk freely :)
I admire you, Molly! You're all around a wonderful person! Regards a sighted person that is very curious about everything. ❤️
DO NOT apologise for puppy dreams!
I’m in a wheelchair, so I obviously have a visible disability. It is a pain in public because people assume that I need more help than I need. I’m the kind of person where if I need help, I will ask. So many people think I can’t do things for myself and often think that I am also mentally challenged. If I am with a caregiver, they will often ask them questions or talk to them instead of asking me.
I'm very thankful for being as educated as I am about different people who go through different things. My response to "I'm (insert disability or otherwise here)" is always "Oh, okay. Would you like paper or plastic?" Because unless it really matters in the situation, it doesn't matter.
Her hair is like goals!
I always wonder when and to who I should explain Tourette's to. Like, it's obvious that I'm "behaving" weirdly, but people don't always know why and their reactions can be more unpredictable than my tics. Explaining does help a bit with that, but I don't always want to explain for the reasons you mentioned in the video.
My fibromyalgia/CFS is different because it really is invisible and therefore people might think I'm faking my symptoms or that I can do more than I can. The assumption is that I'm a healthy person walking unreasonably slow. Some people assumed I have an injury and it's hard to explain that there's nothing physically wrong with my body. My brain just stupidly tells me I'm in pain all the time. And sometimes I think people want a better explanation than "no one knows why this happens", but I really can't give it to them.
Snapple and Cats I understand what you mean about Tourette's. My sister has a hard time with that too, she is never sure when to disclose that she has it, or risk having vocal or motor tics without people knowing and feeling awkward about it.
Oh I tic pretty constantly, so people probably hear me before I even enter the room. I always explain it to people I'm going to be dealing with for long amounts of time, but I never know like, do I explain it to the cashier? Do I explain it to our waitress? The lady at the front desk? That lady looking at me strange in the grocery store? I know I don't "owe" anybody an explanation, but explaining in the right situations can definitely make things easier. Sometimes I feel like wearing a humongous sign with a detailed explanation of Tourette's lol.
As a cashier myself I can say that I see a lot of people everyday and everybody has their own quirky way to handle situations. Maybe this is a weird comparison, but for example, when someone drops a product I think to myself: well, things like that can happen to anyone and I don't think that person is weird or something. When I would see a person tic I just think: oh, that's something that's part of that person or just something that person needs/likes (I don't really know the word for this) to do. I don't think it's necessary to tell you have Tourettes. When someone doesn't need to explain why they accidently dropped something, then I don't think you need to explain why you said something or did that movement with you body. I hope this helped you a bit (btw sorry if my English is bad, I'm not a native speaker (well that's contradictory, now I'm explaining myself XD))
Jonna That's great to know. And I guess if they thought I was weird, it'd still be a short interaction, so it probably wouldn't matter. And are you kidding? Your English is great. I'm struggling through learning French right now and I'm nowhere near the point where I could write what you just wrote.
Awh thank you! I also study French, but I think French is way more difficult than English XD. I know what tourettes is, but I think for people who have never even heard of it, may act a little different. I think that no one is completely normal and that's totally acceptable :)
Aw explaining to people aLL THE TIME is so annoying. I’m sorry Molly, that is so rough. I love that u love to educate people though your such an angel 💜.
Hi Molly: You've touched on stereotypic blindness or what the media portrays as a typical person with blindness. Can you please answer two questions for me? The first: Do you find your other senses have sharpened or become more sensitive to help compensate for your lack of sight? And the second: Is there a preferred way to refer to someone with a vision loss specifically "a blind person" vs "a person with blindness" or "a visually impaired person" vs "a person with a visual impairment"? I know in communities with other types of disabilities, there is but haven't heard your feelings on it or if it matters one way or the other to you. Thank you.
It's okay not feeling like explaining your blindness to others. There's SO much more to you than the fact you've lost your sight and there could be loads of other things you'd like to talk or chat about but blindness just happens to be the one that sticks out.
Thank you for your wise and helpful insight into your disability. I have learned SOOOOO much from you & am so thankful. You're amazing!!
I have an invisible disability. I have very severe anxiety and other mental illnesses and I'm in special education for my emotional disability. I'm planning on getting a psychiatric service dog soon because I love animals and I think a service dog could be very helpful for me. Sometimes I wish that people could see my disability while I'm in public because I need help doing things but I'm also embarrassed of my emotional disability and don't want to explain it to people. I also have selective mutism so talking is very difficult for me. I'm hoping that a service dog could also help some people understand that I do have a disability even though you can't see it. I love your videos about disability, mental health, and your service dog. Thanks so much for being so inspirational and helpful for me. I'm only 16 and it's nice to have someone a bit older to look up to. Thanks for everything you do! Love you, Molly! 💜
"Surprise! I can't see!" That cracked me up.
Of course she was trying to sing with you!) Many dogs do that! My neighbors had a dog who sang when I played harmonica, and sometimes even in tune with it😊
i defenitely think we can count blindness as an invisible disabilitie.
i myself have an anxiety disorder and depression. and i always have to explain to people and they still dont understand. so i totally get what your saying.
For completely different reasons I kind of get this. It makes sense. None of us are "on" all the time. Like you said, some days you just don't feel like explaining.
First, love your videos. Second, I love how you don't have much of an accent except for certain words like "sorry". I have some Canadian relatives and think their accent is awesome.
You're good example of living life happy no matter what.
I Love your channel! Im watching from Sweden! Never stop with TH-cam ❤️
Recently started watching your videos and i feel like I've learnt so much. Love your positive attitude - thanks for educating 😊
Hello Molly, I am an amputee below the knee on my right side and it is pretty visible when I am wearing shorts but when I am wearing pants, like for work, no one really knows. This has led into many situations where I can act fully able and not tell anyone I am an amputee or I can tell them I am and have to answer all the questions that come with it. So I know how you feel on those off days when you don’t want to discuss the how, why, when questions. I have had people I work with for years not even know I am an amputee just because I do not want to be treated any different or have them take pitty on me and not think I can get the job done when I clearly can. Thank you for your videos they are great!!!
I have Retinitis Pigmentosa and this is the first time someone described every detail of my life.
im sighted, but as a person with invisible illnesses i definitely understand and relate to your experiences. there are so many times where im just too exhausted or in a hurry to explain every detail of my illness to someone, so i often play it off like its not a big deal or just be rather vague about it. unfortunately since i dont use mobility devices and i dont usually "look" disabled, ive had people tell me im a hypochondriac or im over-exaggerating. however, ive come to realize that i dont owe anyone anything. you shouldnt have to convince people to believe you or prove your disability to anyone.
Thank you for the clarification Molly. I love that you take the time To make videos To explain why sometimes you may look sighted because it is helpful for people who think you "fake" To understand that you are not faking and here is why it might sometimes be difficult To make the differientiation.
I know it is not the same at all, but i kinda understand when you talk about invisible disability because even though i dont see myself as a disable person i still have a health issue that prevents me from doing certain things (i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia) and it is not visible so people often think that i am either liying or that its all in my head which sucks. I doubted my doctor for so many years. I wish it was all in my head. I tried everything and nothing helps or work. And I totally get that sometimes you just dont feel like explaining To people what is going on. I personnally most of the time rather act as if i was "normal" instead of going through the explanation and all the jugements going with it, because no one understands why i live like an old woman and dont do much for my "young" age....because i "look" okay...I look like any late 20's woman from the outside, but not from inside And it was like that since i was 19.
Anyway, love your videos! As always :) xxxx
I think I might be able to relate to you and why you do not disclose your blindness, I have Crohn's disease, been through several surgeries so I do have some complications I need to live with, but one of them is having friends and family not really understanding what I can do and when I really can't leave the house.
TLDR: We don't want to disclose our condition to "strangers" because it saves all parties involved for a story telling that can be skipped!
PS: Greetings from Norway, keep up the great work!
Thanks for sharing and keeping it real, Molly. I love your videos!
I totally get you, Molly. When people apologize to me that I can't walk, I simply chuckle and tell them why they're sorry. It wasn't their fault. But I do agree it makes you uncomfortable.
I cannot say how much I agree with this video. People do not always believe me when I am blind. If someone talks to me I always know to look in their direction and so many other "sighted" behaviors. I see this problem a lot in college, people don't get why I have this stick in my hand.
Molly, I wanna give you a big hug. You're so inspiring and your passion for educating makes me want to go out and do the same lol thank you for being here
I think you are awsome, Molly! Really love watching your videos and learning new things about the world from your perspective :)
Hello Molly!!
I have bipolar disorder, and ocular migraines with nystagmus and dipoplia. (the former obviously invisible). When I get a migraine, a couple of times I have fallen and been unable to stand up. Someone once asked me if I would like him to call me an ambulance to which I responded, "No!! it's OK!!! I just have a migraine!!!" As you know, the nystagmus causes vertigo etc. However I have a different kind of problem....
Sometimes I do that for my Asperger's syndrome. I have needs, but I don't usually tell people it's Autism, and unless I'm having a bad day and have my noise cancelling headphones on, or I'm stimming, people never know. I don't even tend to disclose it to people I see on a regular basis. I know it's different to blindness, but I thought it would interest some people to know that most invisible illnesses and disabilities are not always disclosed, and the same goes for visible ones if they can be hidden. We don't always want to be inspirational people 24/7. I think it's cool that you are so open about your disabilities, Molly! I'm kind of at the stage you were when you were 14. (I'm 13 and am going through the denial/mental health crisis phase)
You could be a politician with how skilled you are at omitting the truth. :P
You are extremely good at looking at things and making eye contact. So much so that even though you said you were blind near the start of the first video of yours which I watched, it was disorienting to think of you as blind while watching you look at things and make eye contact just as well as a lot of sighted you-tubers.
It does not surprise me at all that you are able to pretend that you are sighed when you wish to.
She just liked to sing with you! I've heard your singing and your voice is amazing!
Molly I love your videos and confidence, and ever since I started watching them I've taken more care of myself and put effort into how I want to look instead of just wishing I looked as good as you. I seriously think you could be a model lol
Please never stop making videos!