Commander Waddles I perceived that she was offended by the comment about needing to be cured not about to prayers in general. Disabled people don't always want or need a cure, and it's often not a realistic expectation for many
Well I actually find it sick how people say I will pray for you to get better no offence but what is wrong with you seriously in my opinion there is nothing wrong with you you are fine
I got that from a stranger on a plane. I told her I didn't need any prayers/positive thoughts for "curing," but I'd take some for helping me be a more confident and well adjusted person when it comes to my identity as a blind person. Hope that helped her rethink how some ppl identify with their disability.
Yeah, kind of similar to this: Rikki Poynter (she's a deaf TH-camr) mentioned that in a similar video and said something like, "Is there some kind of dress code we don't know about?" *sticks sticky note saying "deaf" on forehead* "...do I look more deaf now?"
SpamWarrior3000 same, and people say "you dont look depressed" or "but you laughed at the joke, so you cant be depressed" when I tell them about my depression... and with my social anxiety, people will often say "but You're talking to me" "but I've seen you around people" and Im just here like "sorry, hang on lemme just-"*leaves sassily*
"At least you're not dying of cancer" Just because someone else has a worse problem/situation doesn't make your current problem/situation is any less legitimate.
patpatboy2 thank you. I really hate when people use that line or the children in Africa line. Life is life and we all deal with pain and suffering in different ways and sure there may be worse things but it doesn’t make any one thing any less of concern.
My schools therapist told me well at least u don't have cancer, when I told her of my chronic pain among other issues that where affecting my ability to do shook work. She had the nerve to say, they did it so I'm sure you can too. Even said people long ago used to just have to go about there day before anxiety was discovered and other medical problems. I almost freaked Because life isn't the same as before then or my abilitys are different from someone elses
I have autism(among a few other diagnoses) and when I tell new people that I work and study and have a social life, they get so surprised and say like "oh you're such an inspiration" or they have this idea that autistic people can't work or go to university or have friends. Like, we're all different, just like everyone else.
these one's are from my mum whenever I, a person suffering with chronic fatigue syndrome, say I need to go to sleep: "but you just woke up!" "but you slept loads!" "but you hardly did anything today!" Yes....which part of CHRONIC. FATIGUE. SYNDROME. did you not understand???
I heard that one before. I used to sleep 5 hours a night and be totally good to go the next day. Then I had a stroke in my early 30s from a rare brain disease. No cure and no treatment at this time. I get tired so easy and no one gets it except the people who have it. I have worked 36 hours straight and had a baby with colic so I know how it feels to be tired. Chronic fatigue is like being the most tired you have ever been as a normal person just 100xs worse. It’s just such a level that you can’t even understand unless you have it yourself and doesn’t compare to anything that happens to a normal healthy person.
Don't you just hate that? I've had CFS for approx 25 years now and I STILL have people say stupid crap like that to me, some of the people are actually people I've known for a VERY long time¡
I have severe cfs and people have said "at least it's not cancer". Yeah because living for years/ decades in the state that cancer sufferers do in their last days is not bad because I don't have a tumour.
I suffer from this and when I went to rehab people like hated me because I would skip groups to sleep or fall asleep during groups. Someone literally said to me " we are all tired too!!" Like I'm fucking choosing to fall asleep during the day
EveryThing Blind everything blind the reason why they don't think because I am before they act it's because they do not use internal speech and internal speech is where you think before you act
As an adoptee, I have to admit to getting a bit riled up by the last one... the idea that people think that because you're adopted that must mean that your "real" parents didn't want you really irks me. It's like saying "Oh you're not as good as everyone else because your parents didn't birth you themselves." And at the same time, people saying "You're lucky your parents kept you" like that is essentially the same thing. "Oh you're not as good as everyone else because your parents really had to put themselves out for you." Sorry for the rant, it's a topic that really grinds my gears.
Exactly! It took my best friend a long time to grasp that concept. You treat EVERYONE different just based on who they are, not how they got the family they have. I try to be patient with people but some things are just... ugh, people are difficult. Hah, the "I see the resemblance" gets me laughing every time. Half the time when they find out I'm adopted, people say "Wow you're adopted? But you look so much like your mom!" and the other half say "oh that explains why you don't look like your mom." I guess it comes down to what people are looking for. I know I smile exactly like my mom so maybe that's what people see sometimes.
ratlover523 ok I know this isn't very related but reading this it came to mind. I'm not adopted but I live with my step brother and when we go out in public the amount of people that say "wow are those two twins?" is amazing. It's like NO we are not at all related. My dad just happened to marry his mom!
Wow, that's amusing. I remember when my mom babysat this little girl who happened to have the same hair and eye color as me, people often asked me if she was my little sister even though she has the most irish skin I've ever seen and I got my skin tone from the middle east.
I'm the first of 4 and was DX'd with a spontaneous mutation case before any other siblings were born. Even people who didn't know about my other ailments and only the blindness were horrified that my parents were planning to have another child ' because it might be like me #BlindLadyProbs
The most annoying thing I've had said to me (on multiple occasions) upon disclosing vision loss is: "How many fingers am I holding up?" I kind of want to reply with: "I don't know, but I've got two special ones for you..." :P Love your videos, Molly.
I saw a trailer for the TV show "Private Eyes" where the guy is dazed and the lady holds up some fingers: "How many fingers do you see?" and the guy groggily answers "Thursday?" :D
I have anxiety and depression, and I ALWAYS get, "You are so privileged. You have nothing to be depressed about." I'm sorry, I didn't know that "privilege" translated to your brain being healthy. I also get, "How can you be depressed? You're always so chipper/cheerful/friendly!" It's called compensation, biznatch. "You hold it together so well! No way you have anxiety." Actually I hold it together so well because I have anxiety about showing my anxiety...
The best is, "You just have to think positively." Like, wow thanks! If only I'd tried that before! I hate when people say that I have nothing to be depressed about. In the words of Anna Akana, if there was a reason for it, it would be justifiable sadness, not clinical depression. Also, you have no right to assume that I have no reason to have depression or anxiety. You don't know what goes on in my life and inside my head. And don't even get me started on the idiots that believe mental illness isn't even a real thing...
Honey, I have depression and anxiety as well as a diagnosed personality disorder and a mood disorder. I'm so sorry you have had to hear that. To most people I've had a rough time but am still quite privileged. However, if social status/wealth/privilege meant those groups weren't mentally ill, celebrities wouldn't OD and rich people wouldn't kill themselves. But they do. Misfortune knows no class.
When my cousin had her first seizure the next day at school her teacher started flickering the lights and everyone in the room fell on the floor. I have severe anxiety and I often get ‘weird’ paranoia in regular situations (like being home alone or walking through a parking lot on my own). People always tell me that I need to just get over it. Oh, gee. I hadn’t considered that. Let me just make it go away! Ugh.
some of the weirdest people have said to me are:"when are you going back to the asylum?""so, can you like, spell?""are your parents chinese? is that why you're blind?""how do you even go blind? you're either born like it or it doesn't happen""you need to learn how to use that stick properly and stop hitting it into things" (excuse me, that's the point of a CANE) i've had the classic"you don't look blind" loads of times too! :D xx
Exactly! About a hundred years ago, blind people were sent to assylums as is was believed to be a mental illness, so that's probably what the person meant.
I had someone who was a therapist say, well maybe you should just live life like people did before anxiety. Um it wasn't just all of a sudden spread one day or people started having it with the new years
Yes! When my house burned down and when I was burglarized, etc., EVERYONE seemed to go to the typical "At least . . . " comments. I really hated that. It minimized my suffering and made light of things.
My dad makes that comment to me all the time (about my mental health and other small issues that occurs in my life all the time) and it just makes my feelings so invalid. Like he did it recently when I failed my drivers test, something which devastated me as I worked so hard for it. He also pulls out the 'there are children suffering in Africa and you're worried about ...' or 'so many people have it worse'argument which is so insensitive and makes me feel guilty about feeling the things I feel. At the end of the day I know my problems aren't the end all and be all but it's just frustrating that the person that I expect to support me completely invalidates them. Sorry for the rant, I'm just very emotional about the subject I guess and I'm sorry that people treat you that way also. You're problems are important and valid and you are important and valid so don't let anyone diminish that.
I get, "You don't act blind" , "you get around pretty good. Are you sure you're sight impaired?' My reply is, "I fake well" or "I've been doing this for over 40 years."
Yes, she has a lot of sighted norms that surprised me, but I didn't doubt her. She also does her makeup quite well. I'm sighted and find make up challenging. I can see why people might be confused because of the two.
I have a learning disability in writing. I take longer to read things and write things than "normal" people. I had a teacher in the gifted program (yup being LD gifted is a thing) who wanted me to use a math tutor. I kept telling her that that's not what I needed, but she kept asking until I agreed to go. It was embarrassing, especially when the tutor asked me what grade I got on my last test. I was the highest in the class. LD in writing, gifted in math. She made assumptions about my disability, and refused to believe that I was gifted in an area that a lot of people have problems with. She never offered me a tutor in English either, which would have been helpful.
Can you ask for a tutor in English if that really would help? Or does it have to be offered? I wish that I'd accepted my parents offer to get a tutor when I transferred school in the middle of my GCSEs because the Geography and Art programs were completely different from my previous school's so when I should have gotten high grades I only got Cs in those areas. My advice is throw away any embarrassment, your education is more important, and ask for a tutor if you think it would help because if you think it would help it probably will.
I'm the opposite; I have an LD in math but am highly skilled in language (I taught myself to read when I was three but can only do math at about a 4th grade level even though I'm 21 years old). All throughout high school when I would go to special education to write my exams, teachers would try to get me to write them using a computer, which is not listed in my accommodations because the use of a computer is not something I need. I would tell them I can write fine and actually would prefer to do it on paper, but they wouldn't believe me and insisted I needed to use the computer. I would write the exam on paper anyway and the teachers would always get angry. The level of assumption is insane - just because my brain doesn't function like other people's, doesn't mean I'm stupid.
I saw a blind person with a guide dog walk by another disabled person who was not blind with a service dog. The person with a regular service dog was distracting the guide dog. The service dog was obviously a well trained but the owner was not. The guide dog user knew what was going on and told the other person to stop. The service dog user then proceeded to say "Your not really blind because you knew I was here." .......UGGGH I don't even know what to say about that.
I don't have a physical disability, but I have witnessed the ignorance that has happened to others. One time at college at the end of class I was talking to a few classmates. A girl who I sat next to was in a wheel chair, and this other girl said, "I wish I was in a wheelchair so I could just sit around all that!". She said it in this weird way like she was trying to spin this girl's disability into a positive? It was honestly just so shocking to hear someone be so disrespectful. People tried to explain to her why that wasn't a nice thing to say and how wrong she was but she wouldn't accept that she was wrong, just kept insisting what she said was fine. Crazy.
i don't have any disabilities, but I am adopted. The weirdest thing I have other heard about me being adopted that my mother often shares with me. I was about 3 and we were at a mom's club type thing. My mom and another mom were talking and they were talking about me being adopted. The other lady said "Well what are you going to do with Casey if you have another baby?" and the whole table goes silent. Obviously my mother would keep me???? DUH so that's just something I wanted to share. So many uneducated people here.
I'm chronically ill and physically disabled and so many of these hit so close to home. The best comment I ever had actually came from a carer. We were talking about my sister and the fact that she didn't want children. The lady turned around and asked me point blank "is that so it doesn't turn out like you?" I was like, actually no, but that's not the point lol. I remember being so shocked and not quite knowing what to say at the time. I've also had the "you're too pretty" thing too. That particularly angers my mum because people say, oh isn't sad, she's so pretty. My mum is like, well would it be less sad if I wasn't lol. People are strange and I've learned to just try and ignore the ignorance and educate where I can. We can but try :) Love your channel, keep up the amazing work!!
"At least you're not dying of cancer" (4:15 - 4:27) is the stupid sort of thing people often say when told of a friend's bad news or tragedy. Maybe they think they're helping but in fact they're just being critical, insulting. When a friend of mine was killed by a reckless driver, and I was quiet and humorless at work, a co-worker said to me, "Well, at least it wasn't your mother or father." I just stared at her, but maybe I should have told her she was a stupid b----- for saying such a thing. She was ignorant, probably never lost a friend violently, so she couldn't relate--like the guy who made the "cancer" comment to you, who probably never lost anything really important (like eyesight!). It's good to talk about this in your video. Make people stop and think.
In Molly's case though I don't think they meant any offense. It seemed to me as though they were just trying to say "at least you're not dying". I'm pretty sure most people can agree that death is worse than pain, whatever kind of pain that may be.
pulsivesilver - actually, it's not. Pain is worse than death. When you're dead, you're not feeling any pain. I live with pain every day, at times enough that I wished I were dead so the pain would end.
I've had horrible diagnosis after horrible diagnosis- blindness, Marfan's syndrome, epilepsy, severe scoliosis, chronic migraine, fibromyalgia, Raynaud's, Dural ectasia, costochondroitis, PMDD, PCOS, and so on. Every time I got "at least you don't have cancer!" Now I'm waiting for tests to see if I do have cancer...so what now? "At least it's not the diabetes?" Ugh. Don't touch my peppermints!
Well they would not say that comment to me because I will totally punch them for you know just because they can say what they want doesn't mean they can just say to your face
My youngest sister has Autism, developmental delay and speech impediment. She is 13 and has ALWAYS been disable, yet some people insist she is faking it, including people in my family. She is currently in an NIH fragile X study. It can be frustrating, especially when she can't defend herself.
I suffer from an ear injury that decreased my hearing drastically, so much I require surgery. And of course with any ear surgery you are rendered deaf for almost 2 months with a risk of forever. But the most weird thing people have said to me before my surgery when I tell them I'm going to be partially deaf for a while they have said "well you already are deaf or don't listen to us so there's no difference." it hurts because it's not my fault I can't hear you when you talk to me or I can't understand you most times so I don't deserve to be made fun of. No one does....
I don't have a disability but i was once with one of my best friends who is autistic and someone asked him if they could catch it from him. I went berserk. I was so angry
I have autism and I dated a guy whose roommate wouldn't allow me over when he had his kid visiting because he didn't want to "cope with an autistic child." I'm frequently amazed by people, and not usually in a good way.
I have bipolar 2 and I can't tell you how many time people have said to me that I'm just over emotional! or they say to me that it just me giving a excuse to lash out. ugh
Christina Adams same here. i once told a friend of mine that i have bipolar (had known her a few years) and she said 'well, yeh thats obvious'. something about the way she said it hurt my feelings
Christina Adams My mom doesn't believe bipolar is a thing (despite me having it) and was just like "Everybody gets sad sometimes." Didn't appreciate that.
Christina Adams well it's not an excuse to lash out you have something that you were trying to control on a daily basis and that takes skill like forget being visually impaired aired say if you have something like bipolar you know you want to live with that every day just like being vitiate
OMG Number 5 has to be the worst. Girls can just be cruel. I was 12 and I boldly stated I know I"m going to go deaf one day so I have to learn sign language. I wasn't even losing my hearing that bad yet it actually started when I was 14. I didn't hear my digital watch go off in class and the teacher called me to the front of the classroom and told me to take my watch off I was really embrassed. Then at 15 I was in a car accident, broke my arm and then my hearing started going downhill and I finally got my first set of hearing aids when I was 16 and I'm now 25.
I have had a genetic illness my whole life (obviously) that affects my thyroid, has resulted in arthritis at a very young age, likely caused my depression/ other mental health problems due to chemical imbalances, and made it impossible for me to finish high school or go on to college due to severe constant migraines. We didn’t know what was going on with me until a few forces came together: a doctor FINALLY checked my thyroid when I was 22 and discovered Hashimotos, an immune disorder, and the advent of genetic testing. The strangest things people have said to me: 1. I have also gotten “At least it’s not cancer.” What the heck?? When I was very young and suffering because no one knew what was going on, which meant no one believed me that something WAS wrong, this especially hurt. 2. My father worked for the Department of Human Services (approving or denying disability claims) at the time he said this, which was shortly after my Hashimotos diagnosis. I was totally unable to work at that time, and even my doctor said not to try it. My father came over to my house, and I was talking about how I had sent in an application for disability support. It wouldn’t have been much, but it would have helped, and that’s what the system is in place for. He told me, “If your application came across my desk, I wouldn’t approve it.” I didn’t get approved. 3. When I was about 16, at the peak of my migraine situation, our last ditch effort was the children’s hospital nearest us, in Portland, OR. It’s about 5 or 6 hours away from where we lived. We drove up, which at the time was a major endeavor. After a full day of driving, waiting, and talking to doctors, they held a conference-four of them-and returned with the verdict that I was experiencing...wait for it... depression. Afterwards, my brother, who is six years older than me, threw a fit because we didn’t want to stay overnight and go out on the town, claiming that it would help out with my depression, of course. For the record, being 16 and unable to live a normal life CAUSES depression, and so does a failing thyroid and genetic disorder. These aren’t so much “weird” things as heartbreaking things, and those are just a few examples. They’re heartbreaking because it’s almost always a friend, family member, or doctor-someone who’s supposed to care for you. I also get people saying, “You’re just sleepy!” and laughing when I have to leave a party early, or saying “Oh, I shouldn’t either,” when I explain that I can’t drink. No one believes me; it’s their default mode. But it’s worse when it’s someone you expect to be there for you, whether it’s because you love them or because it’s their job to do so. It’s caused a severe distrust-and dislike, honestly-of most people, knowing how thoughtless and selfish they can be, even to the people closest to them. It’s caused me to lose touch with most of my family because they never believed I was ill and said or did countless things to hurt me because of that. Now that I’ve been diagnosed, treated for a few years now with different things, and feel a lot better, I don’t feel like bringing that negativity anywhere near me.
I love watching your videos! My son Thaddeus is almost 2 years old and was diagnosed with cone rod dystrophy and he also can only see monochromatic colors. I know he is going to have to deal with a lot of ignorant people in his life and I found it interesting to hear some of the things ignorant people have said to you.
"you're too pretty to be blind" really gets under my skin. hate is such a strong word but i hate insensitive people who say things like this. honestly i'm sorry you have to hear ignorant comments like this all of the time. you are very strong, because i would have punched all of these people lmao
Okay this is kind of personal but I am in a wheelchair and get this all the time. Do people want to know how being blind affects your sex life? It never ceases to amaze me how many people get the chance to ask me one question and the question they choose to ask is, can you have sex? I mean unless you are planning to marry me, does this have a barring on whether you will be my friend or not? lol
I think of all the things people feel are affected the most by ability to walk, sex is the first (and rudest) in hing to ask. I'm curious, but not rude. If we were best friends and the topic came up, I might ask, but maybe not even then.
I agree. Now I think down the line I know my friends are really my friends because they will ask me about stuff they are curious about but it's not the only thing we do or talk about. I would rather people know the truth rather than not ask and carry on a belief that isnt true about most people with disabilities, but when it comes down to it, the question should not have a barring on whether we can be friends or not.
Tax Tic Agreed. It's not about people being haters. I was just curious if people honestly felt like not having sight affected ones sex life enough to ask about it because they sure are curious with wheelchair users lol.
I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I get funny comments, usually along the lines of "well your room must be really clean" or "can you come clean my house?" P.S. love that necklace.
I prefer the term "little person", but that is because I personally have not been diagnosed with a specific form of dwarfism. Although doctors have generally agree that I have a form of it due to my having other conditions related to bone formation such as mixed hearing loss (fused ossicles as well as degeneration of ossicles with sensorineural loss that they are not exactly sure of the cause, and scoliosis. I am 4 feet 4 inches tall :)
I have Cerebral palsy, I had just moved to a new school during the middle of my eight grade year and literally on the first day of me being a new school a student walked up to me and asked " What's wrong with you." And told her that I have CP, and that it is caused by an injury done the brain during or after birth. Her immediate reaction to this was, "Wow! If you was like you would kill myself." I looked at her and sarcastically said, " If being in a wheelchair causes you to commit suicide! Then I would hate to imagine you on crutches. Who knows what you would have done to your self."
One of my ears is partially deformed so I have hearing loss in my right ear...At the beginning of this year we were picking seats and I sat in the back with my friends and my algebra teacher kept telling me to move up so I can hear better I tried to explain I can hear from my seat just fine and if I need to move seats so I can hear I’ll say something...stuff like that is really annoying because is really annoying because I’m old enough to understand how to advocate for my self if I need accommodations but no one seems to get that
I know this is video was posted a year ago. But I just wanted to say that I have cancer and I often have to explain to people that my pain does not trump other people's pain nor does their pain trump mine. I think you, Molly, explained it very well. So thank you for that! I've also experienced people saying that I'm too pretty to have cancer or I'm to young to have cancer. Cancer can effects anyone, it has no prejudice. But anyway, I'm new to your channel and idk if you'll see this Molly but I just felt like sharing. I love your channel girl!
Weirdest/most inappropriate thing someone has ever told me (I was born with a disability due to which I have to use a wheelchair): "Did your mother know during her pregnancy that you would be disabled? Because she could have decided to, you know, get rid of you." They meant by abortion, not through adoption after my birth.
Yes! As someone who struggles with a completely different disability, I can relate to a lot of this. The one I can relate to the most is the first one you mentioned. To manage my condition, I have to go get infusions at a cancer center. A lot of family members like to remind me that "at least you don't have cancer" or "it can always get worse" or "people always have it worse then you". I hate it because someone it makes me feel guilty for having feelings about my disability. It makes light of my feelings, like I'm not allowed to feel what I'm feeling because at least I'm not receiving chemo. I can't accurately decribe how bad it makes me feel but I take comfort in knowing that others have felt the same way.
I keep a running list of names people have called my cane. I love it. My favorites include fishing pole, pole jumping stick, hiking cane, and martial arts weapon. (also the ever present name of "stick")
When you talked about people saying you are too pretty to be blind it really struck a chord with me. I have a few severe mental health diagnoses and I like to be open and talk about my experiences because I have found that it has been helpful to others and me, too. :) Anyway, I have been told more times than I can remember that I am "too pretty to have mental illness", "too pretty to be that crazy", etc., etc. Thank you so much for sharing, Molly. I am not happy that people have said these weird, rude things to you, but it made me feel really connected to you to hear that we have had similar experiences. I hope this makes sense! It is late and i haven't slept for a few days. If you read this, thank you! I found you through Shane's channel and I wish you and I could be friends! :) wishing you a lovely day.
When I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (not long ago), my doctor actually said: "Well you´re not dying, so there´s no reason to cry.." I cried because I was frustrated btw, not because I got diagnosed, I kinda already knew
I am 19 and I have Rheumatoid arthritis and when people find out they always say "but you're so young!" I know they are just surprised and that it's not as stupid as other thing people say but it is really annoying. I know I am young and when I say "yeah, I know..." and try to get out of the conversation people always continue with "but how is that possible?" and most times I don't feel like giving a lecture on how arthritis does not discriminate so I blow them off somehow. It can be really difficult not to hold it against people.
"Just stop being like this! You can choose if you're like this!" is one someone said to me... Another person said "Yeah.. I think he's just making it up." :C
I agree so much! They cause a bad mixture of self-doubt and intense irritation. I'm in a wheelchair and crutches because of my connective tissue condition and the weirdest and most irritating for me are: "You're too young to have these problems" (like what, so my genetic condition will just magically not affect me until I'm deemed old enough?). Friends calling me a cripple as a joke and getting annoyed if I say I don't like them calling me that ("come on take a joke, Cripple") "Have you tried yoga to fix it?" As a matter of fact yes, once pre-wheelchair. I dislocated both hips and my shoulder doing it - and guess what, I still have a disability! "Your medication probably makes it worse from all the side effects." Just saying, the side effects of dislocation and nerve pain when not on meds and not being able to function outweighs the medication side effects. I wouldn't be on them if I didn't have to be! "You shouldn't be using the disability parking/how dare you use it/someone so young can't use it, leave it for the old people!" Um sorry what? Before harassing me just look at the damned disability sticker, you ignoramus.
The dumbest thing I said as a kid to blind guy was "How many times a day to you run into peoples legs with that stick?" I laugh at myself but still feel bad for just asking something so dumb.
That's pretty bad, but kids say stupid things all the time. I'm sure the person you said it to can laugh about it now. When I was a kid I thought all people with down syndrome were related. I had a friend whose sister had down syndrome and I thought this meant she was adopted... I felt really bad about it once I found out that's not the case. I was about 5 or 6 at the time.
I'm wheelchair-bound and I was just having a general chat with someone who I just met. Out of nowhere he said he would pray for me because of my disability then asked if I believed in God. I just told him I wasn't religious but I appreciate people's prayers. He responded by telling me that I was disabled because I didn't believe in God and if I became religious and started praying I would have some sort of miraculous healing from my genetically degenerative condition.
natalie Goodier - I hate christians. I get told I should amp up my prayers, & maybe, god will take away the never ending chronic pain. I respond w/, I don't believe in god & don't pray, so no point, plus science & doctors are where it's at, for treatment. Then, the christian "love" comes through w/, god is punishing me or I'll burn in hell for being an Atheist, but, they'll pray for me to believe. It's like, oooookkkaaayyy, have fun talking to the ceiling; I'm sure it'll help me tons!
Laura Shortt religious people can be so stupid! Like what do you think talking to some invisible white guy in the sky who apparently cares about your problems is going to help? Like how about actual actions and problem solving than thoughts and prayers. I s2g.
I hurt my left hand and it's only partly functional now after surgery and tons of therapy. I constantly have people ask me if I'm right-handed. When I say yes, they tell me how lucky I am to have damaged that hand (as if nobody needs their non dominant hand). I had to relearn tons of things while living by myself, and that comment really undermines my accomplishments.
OMG! Don't you hate it when you are out with family or friends and somebody has a question to ask you, but instead of asking you directly, they ask the person who's with you? As if you cannot speak for yourself... I love your videos by the way! Could you do one on how you started your career and what training you went through to do what you are doing now?
so there's this thing my friend and I do where we never answer questions asked to us, but instead I answer all questions asked to my friend, and he asnwers all questions asked to me. If we don't know the answer then we start getting creative and weird. It's so hard to keep a straight face
Aracely Rosillo When I was just out of hospital, they always asked my mom if I was ok. I just was like, "I Do Still Have My Own Voice you know!!!" LoL.
I have had Type 1 Diabetes since I was 2-years-old and I always get told "at least you do not have cancer" and it makes me so upset because there is no comparison between cancer and diabetes. I think the worst part of this disease was when I was in kindergarten and parents tried to kick me out of the school because they thought I was contagious. I was also in McDonald's with my parents when i was 5 and my mom checked my blood sugar, a couple minutes later the manager asked us to leave because a customer said I contaminated the air with my disease. It is humiliating sometimes, but it has gotten slightly better.
I have a mental illness and my all time favorite is when people ask about it then say "Oh you really shouldn't tell people that. Way to be a downer." I'm sorry, I didn't realized you suffer from just the sheer mention of something that affects my life every moment of everyday.
Love what you said about the worst pain for everyone! As someone who has cancer, it was a diagnosis I handled well. Learning I was losing my hearing was worse. A breakup was worse. I hate when people say "at least it isn't cancer" because even for those of us with cancer, it's not always the most painful thing ever. I know this is an old video but I still just wanted to give my 2 cents lol
I have anxiety and once I was having attack and someone said “Why?” They also said something like “can you just stop freaking out” like yes I can stop having a mental illness at the snap of a finger 🙄 Another person once said to my friend who had depression “Just start being happy” You can’t just start being happy she can make changes to her life which would help her depression but it’s not something you can control
Laurel F Ask if they want a demonstration. Or if they would like to see. But seriously, I'm sorry people ask you these questions. Must be a real annoyance.
I think it's cool that there is a blind TH-camr as young people who are blind or are going blind have someone to help them understand or something like that. (Or someone to look up to I guess)
I have epilepsy and when I meet people that don't know and I tell them they say "you don't look like you have epilepsy!" And I hate it so much. Also a lot of people don't know what to do if I have a seizure in public. Everyone just stares at me like a zoo exhibit. You are right, a lot of people are uneducated about a lot of different disabilities. I feel there should be a show or something about different disabilities. But anyways, I came across your channel from Piinksparkles and you're so inspirational :) thank you for boosting my confidence.
About #5...my mother did actually consider abortion, when the doctor told her there was something wrong with the fetus. When it was confirmed to be heart issues, she decided to keep me. But if I had something like Down Syndrome, or Cerebral Palsy, or something OBVIOUS, she didn't want to deal with it. But since I look normal, it's okay... whatever
There are so many I have could rant forever. I'm visually impaired (legally blind but have 12%) have been since birthday. Some I got often are 'So what can you actually see.' I realise that's not a stupid question but since I have been visually impaired since birth I don't really know the difference. It when they don't accept that answer that it get frustrating. Another one is 'you only 12% but you can see and you don't have a guide dog.' As much as I am technically blind the vision I have seems be make me look like I'm not and why does carrying a white Cain or having a guide dog define blindness. Finally the comment 'oh you don't look blind' that one just gets to me so much! Anyway rant over. Love this video.Recently discovered you through Lucy.s channel.defiantly subscribing
8 ปีที่แล้ว +5
Great video Molly! I love your channel, and want to share something. Before having cancer I had no idea how to react in front of people with a different health condition or disability, but after listening to you and Emily Davinson, I realized that feeling sorry for disable people is so wrong and selfish! Thanks for making me a better person!
i have an eating disorder and my top 5 annoying things people have said to me are: 1) You don't look anorexic. 2) Why can't you just eat? It's not such a big deal you're just being over dramatic. 3) You're just looking for attention because you're obviously not fat. 4) You have food being offered to you and you're not eating? You're so ungrateful. 5) You can lose weight the healthy way, you know? You can eat healthy and exercise. I'm all for people asking questions and trying to understand my situation but some people say such ignorant and inconsiderate things.
Hey Molly it was a pleasure hearing you at our school but it is very disappointing how people treated you as a kid and that there was not as much support as needed while you were growing up I think that you were very powerful in getting past your struggles I think that people need to be more informed about the disability before they judge I have many small disabilities but nothing that can even compare to yours or other life changing problems And I have one question for you would you ever try and take up a sport that relied more on sound than sight And I really hope that people see you now and regret the thing they did to you before they took drastic measure and started to mentally hurt you because of your disability
"At least you are not dying of cancer" ... well i almost died of cancer and that was rude to the people that have cancer ... i'm sorry but i was ready to cry about this and *PEOPLE DO NOT MESS WITH OTHER'S PAIN !!!*
cw: suidice i think the most inappropriate thing people have ever said to me about my disability once i tell them what all the chronic conditions i have are has been, "wow, you're so brave! if i had all those problems, i definitely would have killed myself a long time ago!" like...how am i supposed to respond to that? the worst part is this hasn't just happened once, and it hasn't always been from strangers!
Wow the things that come out of people's mouths! Haven't people ever heard don't say anything if you don't have anything nice to say?? I teach autistic children and I have had many people tell them, "wow they look so "normal" they don't look autistic". I am just like really?! People don't think before they speak :(
I get "you're too young to have arthritis" or "you're young, how are you in so much pain" my favorite "wow, why do you take so much medication" because chronic illness has an age cut off or something
my weirdest 5 (I have GAD, SAD, ADHD and sensory overload): 5. I thought only little boys had that! (nope.) 4. Oh so you take meth? (also no.) 3. Can't you just ignore it? (No.) 2. You don't deserve a service dog. (Nobody "deserves" one. They need one. Like I do.) 1. I used to be like that, I grew out of it. I'm sure you will too! (I've had it my whole life, so...)
I work in a clothing stor. I just happen to catch a blind lady walk in. I greated her as she first steped in the door and helped her pick out a years worth of cloths she bought. I descriped everthing to her in detail
Love your videos! I'm hard of hearing, and I've had people ask me where I'm from or what accent I have, tell me I'm too young to have hearing aids, or the "what are you deaf or something?" there's more than that but those are ones I've heard over the past few weeks
Some people just really seem to have not learned tact or how to judge what's appropriate to say. I'm able bodied but I was telling someone once that my brothers were 10 and 7 years older than me, and they went 'oh, so were you an accident?' And I'm like 🙄 seriously, what kind of question is that? But yeah, some of these that you get are just ridiculous, what possesses someone to ask that so brazenly?
The midget comment were so funny, sometimes I'm amazed what goes through peoples heads. And the pageant girl, she does fit the stereotype, lol. I work for a company that produces audio books for the visually impaired(DAISY) and through my work I have met many blind people, and they were all unique and different, just like everybody else. I don't understand why some people would assume otherwise.
I have ADHD which is pretty common and stands for attention deficit hyper disorder, so it obviously causes me to be very hyper sometimes and once someone asked me how I slept if I was hyper all the time🤔 I sleep like anyone else it just causes me to be more hyper than normal at time which doesn’t mean all the time
I have an ankle disability ( I consider it a disability) I can't walk most of the time but I don't have a cast or wrap I just wear shoes and socks like normal people and people say to me stop being a wimp get out of the wheelchair and walk it hurts me inside cause I'm not normal cause I have an ankle disability
I came over from Lucy's channel and I think I'll stick around! I'm not even done watching this video, but what you're saying about comparing pain resonates with me. I know a girl who went through something incredibly tragic at a young age. She and some of her family members have at times made people feel like their pain couldn't possibly compare to hers. My default response to it has always been that you can't rank grief. We have no way of physically experiencing the pain someone else feels, so it's unfair to try to diminish what someone else feels just because it might not have been as big of a deal to you if you went through it. Same as with happiness. There are different levels to it, and there are different things that trigger it. We're never going to know exactly what someone's saddest or happiest feeling feels like. All we can compare it to is what our own saddest or happiest feeling feels like.
I've been following multiple blind people on youtube now and you're right, each person is totally different, three of them that I follow (including you) are motivational speakers even and you're all different. Tommy Edison (blind since birth) Yesterdays Wishes (you obviously know) Breaking Blind (lost sight at 16/17) Joy Ross (lost sight as an adult with two children)
I love that way of talking about comparing pain!! I have always believed you can't compare pain but I have a hard time being convincing or exlaining it. But I love that you mention it in a way that takes into consideration that for humans and our hormones and physiology, everything is relative. I am totally using that!!
When i told someone i didn't have depth perception (aka see in 2D like a movie or something) and they said "wait, so you're blind? How many fingers am i holding up?"
love this! people are just ignorant unfortunately😕 but besides that i just have to say i know you used to be sighted and knew how beautiful you are but you are gorgeous and your makeup is on point! loved your makeup vid btw. just found your videos through tommy and im glad i did! All your content is so interesting and inspiring!
1) Just this evening I was trying to tell my mum that things like pain, sufferings and diseases cannot be compared. You can't tell someone that they had it better then someone else so it shouldn't matter. And she replied saying that people say these things to encourage people because things could actually go worse but they didn't. And I said, "No! This doesn't sound encouraging to me at all. It's offensive." and even before I could say anything further, she got so annoyed that she started shouting at me so I had to shut up. 2) Once I had a classmate who probably didn't have any concept of privacy or manners/etiquettes. So he came in the class and sat near me without asking me even though that particular seat belonged to my friend. Then he took my phone which placed on the table at that moment and didn't have any lock. He started opening every single things like picture gallery and my social medias and checking the whole phone and asked for the specifics too. And even though I found it very disrespectful, I answered his questions. And then he says, "Nice phone.......... For a girl." And I was like what do you even mean?
My daughter is 12 and doesn't believe you are blind and trust me I have tried to explain to her how you do certain things. Just some food for thought on people commenting on you not really being blind...
Hi Molly Im 19 and I've recently been diagnosed with RP and finding your videos this week has been a major highlight. I presently am only night blind and dealing with that alone has been a struggle all my life with people not understanding, saying stupid things and choosing to make fun of me for it. I think you're such an inspiration and have helped me come to terms with the fact that I may lose my sight and i'd love to talk more with you 😊
I have Fugue Syndrome so people will constantly tell me that I'm faking having seizures because I go to concerts (I'm not epileptic so strobing lights and loud noises don't trigger them) or that THEY KNOW I remember something. Like excuse me? I didn't know that you knew what I remembered and what I don't
I know this is an older video but one I have gotten a lot from nurses and doctors is "oh your too young to have to deal with this". I have a genetic condition, I've had it since I was an embryo...I am now 30, but I do look younger than my age and I still get this all the time. I get that they mean it's sad that I have to deal with massive health issues but that sucks no matter how old you are lol. do they feel less sad for an 80 year old? I also get "your so strong and brave" and while I am proud of myself for not letting my health struggles make me into this bitter or jaded person, being strong is pretty much my only option here lol. or just "you poor thing your too beautiful to have all of this bad stuff happen"...I don't want people to pity me lol and I'd also like to state that you shouldn't feel bad for only the sick people you find visually pleasing. that is weird. and I hear all of this stuff more from a medical professional than any other person. which concerns me slightly lol. can you imagine if they had a sick person come into the hospital that they thought was ugly and just didn't care for what that person was going through because of that? I don't think people think when they talk sometimes
I have a mental illness. I think the weirdest thing people ‘say’ about my disability is nothing. Complete silence, crickets etc. You have the courage open up to them about a vulnerability and they don’t even acknowledge it. I was on a radio talk show about my illness and my relative success with it against many stereotypes of people with this illness, and no one called!
"You're so lucky your parents kept you". That gave me chills. So innapropriate, so rude. Wow.
Kotago wow I can't believe anyone would say that to you! that's not OK I'm so sorry that happened to you
no-no, that is a quote from Molly's video
Oh sorry I was reading the comments and saw your before she got that far
I laughed out loud :-D
"What a blessing your parents got, keeping you!".
So I was diagnosed with epilepsy and a guy told me I "wasn't having seizures I was just nervous" I was like oh okay thanks Web MD.
This is the most ridiculous thing I have read all month. That guy is a complete and utter moron.
Your webmd response to that made me laugh 😂😂 but, yea. You cant really fix stupid. You can try, but ignorance is its own incurable disease
Morgana Fry I've heard that, too. It's like, no, I have epilepsy and have since I was 6 months. I don't think I was nervous as a 6 month old infant
Morgana Fry that is sick how could you be nervous seriously that's sick
Hey Morgana I just meant that the guy who said that you were nervous to his comment was sick that's what I meant
I am deaf and the weirdest comment was "I'll pray for a cure for you" I was like "I'll be fine with my sign language thanks"
Anyone gets the "I'll pray for you". From kidos with paper cuts to amputees who just found out they have terminal cancer.
Commander Waddles I perceived that she was offended by the comment about needing to be cured not about to prayers in general. Disabled people don't always want or need a cure, and it's often not a realistic expectation for many
Well I actually find it sick how people say I will pray for you to get better no offence but what is wrong with you seriously in my opinion there is nothing wrong with you you are fine
I got that from a stranger on a plane. I told her I didn't need any prayers/positive thoughts for "curing," but I'd take some for helping me be a more confident and well adjusted person when it comes to my identity as a blind person. Hope that helped her rethink how some ppl identify with their disability.
Summer Gould there is jessica kellgren who has not teaching BSL videos
I've had multiple people say, "But you don't look schizophrenic." I wasn't aware we were supposed to look a certain way.
Yeah, kind of similar to this: Rikki Poynter (she's a deaf TH-camr) mentioned that in a similar video and said something like, "Is there some kind of dress code we don't know about?" *sticks sticky note saying "deaf" on forehead* "...do I look more deaf now?"
+Erulasse Aranel lol do u know what this video is called? I'd love to watch it
Desirée Mack It's (Things You Don't Say to Deaf & Hard of Hearing)
+Erulasse Aranel thank you!
SpamWarrior3000 same, and people say "you dont look depressed" or "but you laughed at the joke, so you cant be depressed" when I tell them about my depression... and with my social anxiety, people will often say "but You're talking to me" "but I've seen you around people" and Im just here like "sorry, hang on lemme just-"*leaves sassily*
"At least you're not dying of cancer"
Just because someone else has a worse problem/situation doesn't make your current problem/situation is any less legitimate.
patpatboy2 thank you. I really hate when people use that line or the children in Africa line. Life is life and we all deal with pain and suffering in different ways and sure there may be worse things but it doesn’t make any one thing any less of concern.
yeah, unless you are a teenager who self harms for the sake of getting attention.
My schools therapist told me well at least u don't have cancer, when I told her of my chronic pain among other issues that where affecting my ability to do shook work. She had the nerve to say, they did it so I'm sure you can too. Even said people long ago used to just have to go about there day before anxiety was discovered and other medical problems. I almost freaked Because life isn't the same as before then or my abilitys are different from someone elses
I agree. Pain and situations are relative. I hate when ppl invalidate your problems and belittle yours everyone can have it better or worse.
@@patientlast8108 Well actually it's sad that people have to cut themselves to get attention. Look at it that way.
I have autism(among a few other diagnoses) and when I tell new people that I work and study and have a social life, they get so surprised and say like "oh you're such an inspiration" or they have this idea that autistic people can't work or go to university or have friends. Like, we're all different, just like everyone else.
these one's are from my mum whenever I, a person suffering with chronic fatigue syndrome, say I need to go to sleep: "but you just woke up!" "but you slept loads!" "but you hardly did anything today!"
Yes....which part of CHRONIC. FATIGUE. SYNDROME. did you not understand???
I heard that one before. I used to sleep 5 hours a night and be totally good to go the next day. Then I had a stroke in my early 30s from a rare brain disease. No cure and no treatment at this time. I get tired so easy and no one gets it except the people who have it. I have worked 36 hours straight and had a baby with colic so I know how it feels to be tired. Chronic fatigue is like being the most tired you have ever been as a normal person just 100xs worse. It’s just such a level that you can’t even understand unless you have it yourself and doesn’t compare to anything that happens to a normal healthy person.
Don't you just hate that? I've had CFS for approx 25 years now and I STILL have people say stupid crap like that to me, some of the people are actually people I've known for a VERY long time¡
I have severe cfs and people have said "at least it's not cancer". Yeah because living for years/ decades in the state that cancer sufferers do in their last days is not bad because I don't have a tumour.
I suffer from this and when I went to rehab people like hated me because I would skip groups to sleep or fall asleep during groups. Someone literally said to me " we are all tired too!!" Like I'm fucking choosing to fall asleep during the day
It seems like people don't think before they open their mouth
Then after you answer the question yourself, they still continue doing it! LOL like helloooo I can hear you!!!
+Aracely Rosillo yep
true
EveryThing Blind everything blind the reason why they don't think because I am before they act it's because they do not use internal speech and internal speech is where you think before you act
As an adoptee, I have to admit to getting a bit riled up by the last one... the idea that people think that because you're adopted that must mean that your "real" parents didn't want you really irks me. It's like saying "Oh you're not as good as everyone else because your parents didn't birth you themselves."
And at the same time, people saying "You're lucky your parents kept you" like that is essentially the same thing. "Oh you're not as good as everyone else because your parents really had to put themselves out for you."
Sorry for the rant, it's a topic that really grinds my gears.
Exactly! It took my best friend a long time to grasp that concept. You treat EVERYONE different just based on who they are, not how they got the family they have. I try to be patient with people but some things are just... ugh, people are difficult.
Hah, the "I see the resemblance" gets me laughing every time. Half the time when they find out I'm adopted, people say "Wow you're adopted? But you look so much like your mom!" and the other half say "oh that explains why you don't look like your mom."
I guess it comes down to what people are looking for. I know I smile exactly like my mom so maybe that's what people see sometimes.
ratlover523 ok I know this isn't very related but reading this it came to mind. I'm not adopted but I live with my step brother and when we go out in public the amount of people that say "wow are those two twins?" is amazing. It's like NO we are not at all related. My dad just happened to marry his mom!
Wow, that's amusing. I remember when my mom babysat this little girl who happened to have the same hair and eye color as me, people often asked me if she was my little sister even though she has the most irish skin I've ever seen and I got my skin tone from the middle east.
ratlover523 you reply to yourself pretending your a different person
I'm the first of 4 and was DX'd with a spontaneous mutation case before any other siblings were born. Even people who didn't know about my other ailments and only the blindness were horrified that my parents were planning to have another child ' because it might be like me #BlindLadyProbs
The most annoying thing I've had said to me (on multiple occasions) upon disclosing vision loss is: "How many fingers am I holding up?" I kind of want to reply with: "I don't know, but I've got two special ones for you..." :P
Love your videos, Molly.
That is a great comeback!
I saw a trailer for the TV show "Private Eyes" where the guy is dazed and the lady holds up some fingers: "How many fingers do you see?" and the guy groggily answers "Thursday?" :D
Topia Ryan-Jones might come back as always you’re not my doctor so I don’t need to answer that question!
I have anxiety and depression, and I ALWAYS get, "You are so privileged. You have nothing to be depressed about." I'm sorry, I didn't know that "privilege" translated to your brain being healthy.
I also get, "How can you be depressed? You're always so chipper/cheerful/friendly!" It's called compensation, biznatch.
"You hold it together so well! No way you have anxiety." Actually I hold it together so well because I have anxiety about showing my anxiety...
The best is, "You just have to think positively." Like, wow thanks! If only I'd tried that before!
I hate when people say that I have nothing to be depressed about. In the words of Anna Akana, if there was a reason for it, it would be justifiable sadness, not clinical depression. Also, you have no right to assume that I have no reason to have depression or anxiety. You don't know what goes on in my life and inside my head.
And don't even get me started on the idiots that believe mental illness isn't even a real thing...
I hate it when people say "just be happy, talk to people"
That's like telling a homeless person "just buy a house, live in it" dude like wtf
"I'm positive I'm depressed"
To holding it together I reply with"I'm medicated" in a super serious tone. It freaks people out it's kind of funny
Honey, I have depression and anxiety as well as a diagnosed personality disorder and a mood disorder. I'm so sorry you have had to hear that. To most people I've had a rough time but am still quite privileged. However, if social status/wealth/privilege meant those groups weren't mentally ill, celebrities wouldn't OD and rich people wouldn't kill themselves. But they do. Misfortune knows no class.
When my cousin had her first seizure the next day at school her teacher started flickering the lights and everyone in the room fell on the floor. I have severe anxiety and I often get ‘weird’ paranoia in regular situations (like being home alone or walking through a parking lot on my own). People always tell me that I need to just get over it. Oh, gee. I hadn’t considered that. Let me just make it go away! Ugh.
Literally Why, your username explains
some of the weirdest people have said to me are:"when are you going back to the asylum?""so, can you like, spell?""are your parents chinese? is that why you're blind?""how do you even go blind? you're either born like it or it doesn't happen""you need to learn how to use that stick properly and stop hitting it into things" (excuse me, that's the point of a CANE)
i've had the classic"you don't look blind" loads of times too! :D xx
I don't understand the asylum part. Being blind does not make you mentally ill :/
Exactly! About a hundred years ago, blind people were sent to assylums as is was believed to be a mental illness, so that's probably what the person meant.
Grace Marsh omg those are so rude! I’m sorry.
What's the thing about being Chinese? Do Chinese people have higher rates of blindness or something?
+daer devvyl lolol it's cuz most Chinese people have monolids, which *definitely* means they're blind, right?
Pretty for being blind? My God! On behalf of all males, I would like to apologize for the morons among us. Molly, you are pretty, period.
r/whiteknighting
Molly, I agree, you're objectively pretty.
I have depression and anxiety and sometimes people will say, "just be happy" and I'm like 😑😑😑😑😑
SHUT UP HEATHER- I'm sorry I laughed😂
omg ur name and pfp XD
I had someone who was a therapist say, well maybe you should just live life like people did before anxiety. Um it wasn't just all of a sudden spread one day or people started having it with the new years
That's like telling someone with Celiac's to be less gluten resistant.
Ikr people are like "just don't be anxious" and im like I'M CURED!!!!
Yes! When my house burned down and when I was burglarized, etc., EVERYONE seemed to go to the typical "At least . . . " comments. I really hated that. It minimized my suffering and made light of things.
My dad makes that comment to me all the time (about my mental health and other small issues that occurs in my life all the time) and it just makes my feelings so invalid. Like he did it recently when I failed my drivers test, something which devastated me as I worked so hard for it. He also pulls out the 'there are children suffering in Africa and you're worried about ...' or 'so many people have it worse'argument which is so insensitive and makes me feel guilty about feeling the things I feel. At the end of the day I know my problems aren't the end all and be all but it's just frustrating that the person that I expect to support me completely invalidates them. Sorry for the rant, I'm just very emotional about the subject I guess and I'm sorry that people treat you that way also. You're problems are important and valid and you are important and valid so don't let anyone diminish that.
I get, "You don't act blind" , "you get around pretty good. Are you sure you're sight impaired?' My reply is, "I fake well" or "I've been doing this for over 40 years."
Yea I'm HoH, yea I love wearing hearing aids and go.. WHAT? All day.
I meant, I wear hearing aids for fun.
Yes, she has a lot of sighted norms that surprised me, but I didn't doubt her. She also does her makeup quite well. I'm sighted and find make up challenging. I can see why people might be confused because of the two.
In 14 and I have lymphoma and the weirdest thing someone said to me about it was "How did you catch it" as if it was like a cold lol
Darian Mccants Aggressively cough on them.
Forgive my ignorance, but what is lymphoma? I've never heard of it.
@@Denabella it's a type of cancer, related to white blood cells if I remember correctly.
I have a learning disability in writing. I take longer to read things and write things than "normal" people.
I had a teacher in the gifted program (yup being LD gifted is a thing) who wanted me to use a math tutor. I kept telling her that that's not what I needed, but she kept asking until I agreed to go. It was embarrassing, especially when the tutor asked me what grade I got on my last test. I was the highest in the class. LD in writing, gifted in math.
She made assumptions about my disability, and refused to believe that I was gifted in an area that a lot of people have problems with.
She never offered me a tutor in English either, which would have been helpful.
Shelagh Salisbury what did the tutor say? That’s so messed up your teacher didn’t listen btw
Can you ask for a tutor in English if that really would help? Or does it have to be offered? I wish that I'd accepted my parents offer to get a tutor when I transferred school in the middle of my GCSEs because the Geography and Art programs were completely different from my previous school's so when I should have gotten high grades I only got Cs in those areas. My advice is throw away any embarrassment, your education is more important, and ask for a tutor if you think it would help because if you think it would help it probably will.
I'm the opposite; I have an LD in math but am highly skilled in language (I taught myself to read when I was three but can only do math at about a 4th grade level even though I'm 21 years old). All throughout high school when I would go to special education to write my exams, teachers would try to get me to write them using a computer, which is not listed in my accommodations because the use of a computer is not something I need. I would tell them I can write fine and actually would prefer to do it on paper, but they wouldn't believe me and insisted I needed to use the computer. I would write the exam on paper anyway and the teachers would always get angry. The level of assumption is insane - just because my brain doesn't function like other people's, doesn't mean I'm stupid.
I saw a blind person with a guide dog walk by another disabled person who was not blind with a service dog. The person with a regular service dog was distracting the guide dog. The service dog was obviously a well trained but the owner was not. The guide dog user knew what was going on and told the other person to stop. The service dog user then proceeded to say "Your not really blind because you knew I was here." .......UGGGH I don't even know what to say about that.
I don't have a physical disability, but I have witnessed the ignorance that has happened to others. One time at college at the end of class I was talking to a few classmates. A girl who I sat next to was in a wheel chair, and this other girl said, "I wish I was in a wheelchair so I could just sit around all that!". She said it in this weird way like she was trying to spin this girl's disability into a positive? It was honestly just so shocking to hear someone be so disrespectful. People tried to explain to her why that wasn't a nice thing to say and how wrong she was but she wouldn't accept that she was wrong, just kept insisting what she said was fine. Crazy.
I get it, I'm in a wheelchair and honestly I get that a lot.
Oh my gosh I hate this so much because my brother is in a wheelchair and people either say this or just stare and I growl at them.
People have said that to me several times… I’m in a wheelchair
i don't have any disabilities, but I am adopted. The weirdest thing I have other heard about me being adopted that my mother often shares with me. I was about 3 and we were at a mom's club type thing. My mom and another mom were talking and they were talking about me being adopted. The other lady said "Well what are you going to do with Casey if you have another baby?" and the whole table goes silent. Obviously my mother would keep me???? DUH so that's just something I wanted to share. So many uneducated people here.
I'm chronically ill and physically disabled and so many of these hit so close to home. The best comment I ever had actually came from a carer. We were talking about my sister and the fact that she didn't want children. The lady turned around and asked me point blank "is that so it doesn't turn out like you?" I was like, actually no, but that's not the point lol. I remember being so shocked and not quite knowing what to say at the time. I've also had the "you're too pretty" thing too. That particularly angers my mum because people say, oh isn't sad, she's so pretty. My mum is like, well would it be less sad if I wasn't lol. People are strange and I've learned to just try and ignore the ignorance and educate where I can. We can but try :) Love your channel, keep up the amazing work!!
"At least you're not dying of cancer" (4:15 - 4:27) is the stupid sort of thing people often say when told of a friend's bad news or tragedy. Maybe they think they're helping but in fact they're just being critical, insulting. When a friend of mine was killed by a reckless driver, and I was quiet and humorless at work, a co-worker said to me, "Well, at least it wasn't your mother or father." I just stared at her, but maybe I should have told her she was a stupid b----- for saying such a thing. She was ignorant, probably never lost a friend violently, so she couldn't relate--like the guy who made the "cancer" comment to you, who probably never lost anything really important (like eyesight!). It's good to talk about this in your video. Make people stop and think.
Mark T. That reminds when one of my cats died, people were saying to me "well at least it wasn't ashley" and I was just like uh
Ashley is one of my other cats (in case I didn't make that clear)
In Molly's case though I don't think they meant any offense. It seemed to me as though they were just trying to say "at least you're not dying". I'm pretty sure most people can agree that death is worse than pain, whatever kind of pain that may be.
pulsivesilver - actually, it's not. Pain is worse than death. When you're dead, you're not feeling any pain. I live with pain every day, at times enough that I wished I were dead so the pain would end.
I've had horrible diagnosis after horrible diagnosis- blindness, Marfan's syndrome, epilepsy, severe scoliosis, chronic migraine, fibromyalgia, Raynaud's, Dural ectasia, costochondroitis, PMDD, PCOS, and so on.
Every time I got "at least you don't have cancer!"
Now I'm waiting for tests to see if I do have cancer...so what now? "At least it's not the diabetes?"
Ugh. Don't touch my peppermints!
Guy: You're too pretty to be disabled ;)
Me: And you're too stupid to replace my husband (((:
Chronically Logical I cackled a little too hard at this
ALWAYS HAS THE CUTEST OUTFITS AND JEWELRY! Keep the videos coming!
Meebles Sporella hi
I'm hard of hearing and I had someone once say " do you need to clean your ears out " to me when I wasn't paying attention
emma chupp yeah, stick a Q tip in there! That will fix everything and not at all risk injury to your ear drum and losing your remaining hearing.
Kale Ling I wear two hearing aids. They are defiantly a great option if you wanted them.
😀
Well they would not say that comment to me because I will totally punch them for you know just because they can say what they want doesn't mean they can just say to your face
My youngest sister has Autism, developmental delay and speech impediment. She is 13 and has ALWAYS been disable, yet some people insist she is faking it, including people in my family. She is currently in an NIH fragile X study. It can be frustrating, especially when she can't defend herself.
Danny G My little brother also has a speech impediment
An empathetic response never starts with "at least." You're very headstrong and independent Molly. You rock.
I suffer from an ear injury that decreased my hearing drastically, so much I require surgery. And of course with any ear surgery you are rendered deaf for almost 2 months with a risk of forever. But the most weird thing people have said to me before my surgery when I tell them I'm going to be partially deaf for a while they have said "well you already are deaf or don't listen to us so there's no difference." it hurts because it's not my fault I can't hear you when you talk to me or I can't understand you most times so I don't deserve to be made fun of. No one does....
"Not only am I deaf, I'm ignoring you".
Mine: Depression/bipolarity
"Oh but you don't need medicine" "you are not depressed" "your diagnnosis is false" "just cheer up"
And many many more
I don't have a disability but i was once with one of my best friends who is autistic and someone asked him if they could catch it from him. I went berserk. I was so angry
I have autism and I dated a guy whose roommate wouldn't allow me over when he had his kid visiting because he didn't want to "cope with an autistic child." I'm frequently amazed by people, and not usually in a good way.
I have bipolar 2 and I can't tell you how many time people have said to me that I'm just over emotional! or they say to me that it just me giving a excuse to lash out. ugh
Christina Adams same here. i once told a friend of mine that i have bipolar (had known her a few years) and she said 'well, yeh thats obvious'. something about the way she said it hurt my feelings
I understand how that feels just remember one day at a time one step at a time! And stay strong
Christina Adams My mom doesn't believe bipolar is a thing (despite me having it) and was just like "Everybody gets sad sometimes." Didn't appreciate that.
Christina Adams I'm bipolar(I don't remember which one) I've had someone tell me to grow up and that I needed to be disciplined more than I was.
Christina Adams well it's not an excuse to lash out you have something that you were trying to control on a daily basis and that takes skill like forget being visually impaired aired say if you have something like bipolar you know you want to live with that every day just like being vitiate
OMG Number 5 has to be the worst. Girls can just be cruel. I was 12 and I boldly stated I know I"m going to go deaf one day so I have to learn sign language. I wasn't even losing my hearing that bad yet it actually started when I was 14. I didn't hear my digital watch go off in class and the teacher called me to the front of the classroom and told me to take my watch off I was really embrassed. Then at 15 I was in a car accident, broke my arm and then my hearing started going downhill and I finally got my first set of hearing aids when I was 16 and I'm now 25.
I have had a genetic illness my whole life (obviously) that affects my thyroid, has resulted in arthritis at a very young age, likely caused my depression/ other mental health problems due to chemical imbalances, and made it impossible for me to finish high school or go on to college due to severe constant migraines. We didn’t know what was going on with me until a few forces came together: a doctor FINALLY checked my thyroid when I was 22 and discovered Hashimotos, an immune disorder, and the advent of genetic testing.
The strangest things people have said to me:
1. I have also gotten “At least it’s not cancer.” What the heck?? When I was very young and suffering because no one knew what was going on, which meant no one believed me that something WAS wrong, this especially hurt.
2. My father worked for the Department of Human Services (approving or denying disability claims) at the time he said this, which was shortly after my Hashimotos diagnosis. I was totally unable to work at that time, and even my doctor said not to try it. My father came over to my house, and I was talking about how I had sent in an application for disability support. It wouldn’t have been much, but it would have helped, and that’s what the system is in place for. He told me, “If your application came across my desk, I wouldn’t approve it.” I didn’t get approved.
3. When I was about 16, at the peak of my migraine situation, our last ditch effort was the children’s hospital nearest us, in Portland, OR. It’s about 5 or 6 hours away from where we lived. We drove up, which at the time was a major endeavor. After a full day of driving, waiting, and talking to doctors, they held a conference-four of them-and returned with the verdict that I was experiencing...wait for it... depression. Afterwards, my brother, who is six years older than me, threw a fit because we didn’t want to stay overnight and go out on the town, claiming that it would help out with my depression, of course. For the record, being 16 and unable to live a normal life CAUSES depression, and so does a failing thyroid and genetic disorder.
These aren’t so much “weird” things as heartbreaking things, and those are just a few examples. They’re heartbreaking because it’s almost always a friend, family member, or doctor-someone who’s supposed to care for you. I also get people saying, “You’re just sleepy!” and laughing when I have to leave a party early, or saying “Oh, I shouldn’t either,” when I explain that I can’t drink. No one believes me; it’s their default mode. But it’s worse when it’s someone you expect to be there for you, whether it’s because you love them or because it’s their job to do so. It’s caused a severe distrust-and dislike, honestly-of most people, knowing how thoughtless and selfish they can be, even to the people closest to them. It’s caused me to lose touch with most of my family because they never believed I was ill and said or did countless things to hurt me because of that. Now that I’ve been diagnosed, treated for a few years now with different things, and feel a lot better, I don’t feel like bringing that negativity anywhere near me.
I love watching your videos! My son Thaddeus is almost 2 years old and was diagnosed with cone rod dystrophy and he also can only see monochromatic colors. I know he is going to have to deal with a lot of ignorant people in his life and I found it interesting to hear some of the things ignorant people have said to you.
"you're too pretty to be blind" really gets under my skin. hate is such a strong word but i hate insensitive people who say things like this. honestly i'm sorry you have to hear ignorant comments like this all of the time. you are very strong, because i would have punched all of these people lmao
Okay this is kind of personal but I am in a wheelchair and get this all the time. Do people want to know how being blind affects your sex life? It never ceases to amaze me how many people get the chance to ask me one question and the question they choose to ask is, can you have sex? I mean unless you are planning to marry me, does this have a barring on whether you will be my friend or not? lol
I know a guy who has half limbs, he still does it. Screw the haters.
I think of all the things people feel are affected the most by ability to walk, sex is the first (and rudest) in hing to ask. I'm curious, but not rude. If we were best friends and the topic came up, I might ask, but maybe not even then.
I agree. Now I think down the line I know my friends are really my friends because they will ask me about stuff they are curious about but it's not the only thing we do or talk about. I would rather people know the truth rather than not ask and carry on a belief that isnt true about most people with disabilities, but when it comes down to it, the question should not have a barring on whether we can be friends or not.
Tax Tic Agreed. It's not about people being haters. I was just curious if people honestly felt like not having sight affected ones sex life enough to ask about it because they sure are curious with wheelchair users lol.
People just want to learn how people in wheel chairs can fuck, don't take their curiosity so personally.
I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I get funny comments, usually along the lines of "well your room must be really clean" or "can you come clean my house?" P.S. love that necklace.
Melissa Stephan I have a mild form of OCD and my favorite is "yeah I need to keep my room really clean too"
Like no OCD is not keeping things clean.
I prefer the term "little person", but that is because I personally have not been diagnosed with a specific form of dwarfism. Although doctors have generally agree that I have a form of it due to my having other conditions related to bone formation such as mixed hearing loss (fused ossicles as well as degeneration of ossicles with sensorineural loss that they are not exactly sure of the cause, and scoliosis. I am 4 feet 4 inches tall :)
Chelsea Tafoya I always think it's amazing when I hear little people call themselves 'vertically challenged' 😂
Did they ever consider Turner Syndrome?
I have Cerebral palsy, I had just moved to a new school during the middle of my eight grade year and literally on the first day of me being a new school a student walked up to me and asked " What's wrong with you." And told her that I have CP, and that it is caused by an injury done the brain during or after birth. Her immediate reaction to this was, "Wow! If you was like you would kill myself." I looked at her and sarcastically said, " If being in a wheelchair causes you to commit suicide! Then I would hate to imagine you on crutches. Who knows what you would have done to your self."
I have a rather severe anxiety disorder and I LOVE when people say they know what it's like because they get anxious sometimes!
One of my ears is partially deformed so I have hearing loss in my right ear...At the beginning of this year we were picking seats and I sat in the back with my friends and my algebra teacher kept telling me to move up so I can hear better I tried to explain I can hear from my seat just fine and if I need to move seats so I can hear I’ll say something...stuff like that is really annoying because is really annoying because I’m old enough to understand how to advocate for my self if I need accommodations but no one seems to get that
I know this is video was posted a year ago. But I just wanted to say that I have cancer and I often have to explain to people that my pain does not trump other people's pain nor does their pain trump mine. I think you, Molly, explained it very well. So thank you for that! I've also experienced people saying that I'm too pretty to have cancer or I'm to young to have cancer. Cancer can effects anyone, it has no prejudice. But anyway, I'm new to your channel and idk if you'll see this Molly but I just felt like sharing. I love your channel girl!
Weirdest/most inappropriate thing someone has ever told me (I was born with a disability due to which I have to use a wheelchair):
"Did your mother know during her pregnancy that you would be disabled? Because she could have decided to, you know, get rid of you."
They meant by abortion, not through adoption after my birth.
Yes! As someone who struggles with a completely different disability, I can relate to a lot of this. The one I can relate to the most is the first one you mentioned. To manage my condition, I have to go get infusions at a cancer center. A lot of family members like to remind me that "at least you don't have cancer" or "it can always get worse" or "people always have it worse then you". I hate it because someone it makes me feel guilty for having feelings about my disability. It makes light of my feelings, like I'm not allowed to feel what I'm feeling because at least I'm not receiving chemo. I can't accurately decribe how bad it makes me feel but I take comfort in knowing that others have felt the same way.
Burgandy colours look so great on you Molly! 💋✨💜
Amen!
Lily I think so too! I love her necklace!
I love how you put it, that my worst pain is the same as anyone's worst pain. Very insightful!
I keep a running list of names people have called my cane. I love it. My favorites include fishing pole, pole jumping stick, hiking cane, and martial arts weapon. (also the ever present name of "stick")
what's it really called? I'll google later
+• Tensakuma "Tendro" Kadro cane or white cane, I think.
Wait, Ill check Tommy's and Molly duel video together, she says the name there, I believe I can find the answer. Brb
Mary Hines Yes, of course you're correct, Traditional White Cane, and her Sassy Hot Pink Cane.
Yay!
When you talked about people saying you are too pretty to be blind it really struck a chord with me. I have a few severe mental health diagnoses and I like to be open and talk about my experiences because I have found that it has been helpful to others and me, too. :) Anyway, I have been told more times than I can remember that I am "too pretty to have mental illness", "too pretty to be that crazy", etc., etc. Thank you so much for sharing, Molly. I am not happy that people have said these weird, rude things to you, but it made me feel really connected to you to hear that we have had similar experiences. I hope this makes sense! It is late and i haven't slept for a few days. If you read this, thank you! I found you through Shane's channel and I wish you and I could be friends! :) wishing you a lovely day.
When I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (not long ago), my doctor actually said: "Well you´re not dying, so there´s no reason to cry.." I cried because I was frustrated btw, not because I got diagnosed, I kinda already knew
I am 19 and I have Rheumatoid arthritis and when people find out they always say "but you're so young!" I know they are just surprised and that it's not as stupid as other thing people say but it is really annoying. I know I am young and when I say "yeah, I know..." and try to get out of the conversation people always continue with "but how is that possible?" and most times I don't feel like giving a lecture on how arthritis does not discriminate so I blow them off somehow. It can be really difficult not to hold it against people.
"Just stop being like this! You can choose if you're like this!" is one someone said to me... Another person said "Yeah.. I think he's just making it up." :C
It’s crazy to see how much you’ve changed on camera. I feel like you’ve gained a lot of comfort while filming, it’s inspiring!
I agree so much! They cause a bad mixture of self-doubt and intense irritation. I'm in a wheelchair and crutches because of my connective tissue condition and the weirdest and most irritating for me are:
"You're too young to have these problems" (like what, so my genetic condition will just magically not affect me until I'm deemed old enough?).
Friends calling me a cripple as a joke and getting annoyed if I say I don't like them calling me that ("come on take a joke, Cripple")
"Have you tried yoga to fix it?" As a matter of fact yes, once pre-wheelchair. I dislocated both hips and my shoulder doing it - and guess what, I still have a disability!
"Your medication probably makes it worse from all the side effects." Just saying, the side effects of dislocation and nerve pain when not on meds and not being able to function outweighs the medication side effects. I wouldn't be on them if I didn't have to be!
"You shouldn't be using the disability parking/how dare you use it/someone so young can't use it, leave it for the old people!" Um sorry what? Before harassing me just look at the damned disability sticker, you ignoramus.
The dumbest thing I said as a kid to blind guy was "How many times a day to you run into peoples legs with that stick?" I laugh at myself but still feel bad for just asking something so dumb.
fighterjoe22 omg
That's pretty bad, but kids say stupid things all the time. I'm sure the person you said it to can laugh about it now. When I was a kid I thought all people with down syndrome were related. I had a friend whose sister had down syndrome and I thought this meant she was adopted... I felt really bad about it once I found out that's not the case. I was about 5 or 6 at the time.
I'm wheelchair-bound and I was just having a general chat with someone who I just met. Out of nowhere he said he would pray for me because of my disability then asked if I believed in God. I just told him I wasn't religious but I appreciate people's prayers. He responded by telling me that I was disabled because I didn't believe in God and if I became religious and started praying I would have some sort of miraculous healing from my genetically degenerative condition.
natalie Goodier oh my god. People are so stupid
natalie Goodier - I hate christians.
I get told I should amp up my prayers, & maybe, god will take away the never ending chronic pain. I respond w/, I don't believe in god & don't pray, so no point, plus science & doctors are where it's at, for treatment.
Then, the christian "love" comes through w/, god is punishing me or I'll burn in hell for being an Atheist, but, they'll pray for me to believe. It's like, oooookkkaaayyy, have fun talking to the ceiling; I'm sure it'll help me tons!
Laura Shortt religious people can be so stupid! Like what do you think talking to some invisible white guy in the sky who apparently cares about your problems is going to help? Like how about actual actions and problem solving than thoughts and prayers. I s2g.
Jesus fuck that sucks
I hurt my left hand and it's only partly functional now after surgery and tons of therapy. I constantly have people ask me if I'm right-handed. When I say yes, they tell me how lucky I am to have damaged that hand (as if nobody needs their non dominant hand). I had to relearn tons of things while living by myself, and that comment really undermines my accomplishments.
OMG! Don't you hate it when you are out with family or friends and somebody has a question to ask you, but instead of asking you directly, they ask the person who's with you? As if you cannot speak for yourself... I love your videos by the way! Could you do one on how you started your career and what training you went through to do what you are doing now?
Yes for sure
so there's this thing my friend and I do where we never answer questions asked to us, but instead I answer all questions asked to my friend, and he asnwers all questions asked to me. If we don't know the answer then we start getting creative and weird. It's so hard to keep a straight face
lol I'm gonna try that!!
Aracely Rosillo
When I was just out of hospital, they always asked my mom if I was ok.
I just was like, "I Do Still Have My Own Voice you know!!!" LoL.
I have had Type 1 Diabetes since I was 2-years-old and I always get told "at least you do not have cancer" and it makes me so upset because there is no comparison between cancer and diabetes. I think the worst part of this disease was when I was in kindergarten and parents tried to kick me out of the school because they thought I was contagious. I was also in McDonald's with my parents when i was 5 and my mom checked my blood sugar, a couple minutes later the manager asked us to leave because a customer said I contaminated the air with my disease. It is humiliating sometimes, but it has gotten slightly better.
I have a mental illness and my all time favorite is when people ask about it then say "Oh you really shouldn't tell people that. Way to be a downer." I'm sorry, I didn't realized you suffer from just the sheer mention of something that affects my life every moment of everyday.
Love what you said about the worst pain for everyone! As someone who has cancer, it was a diagnosis I handled well. Learning I was losing my hearing was worse. A breakup was worse. I hate when people say "at least it isn't cancer" because even for those of us with cancer, it's not always the most painful thing ever. I know this is an old video but I still just wanted to give my 2 cents lol
I have anxiety and once I was having attack and someone said
“Why?” They also said something like “can you just stop freaking out” like yes I can stop having a mental illness at the snap of a finger 🙄
Another person once said to my friend who had depression
“Just start being happy”
You can’t just start being happy she can make changes to her life which would help her depression but it’s not something you can control
I was so happy u talked about not comparing somebody’s worst pain to your own...so true Molly. Thank you 💕
Most common: "but you don't look..." and "so how do you have sex?" 🙈😪😂
Laurel F Ask if they want a demonstration. Or if they would like to see.
But seriously, I'm sorry people ask you these questions. Must be a real annoyance.
Yep these two and “but you are pretty 😱” uhmmm so I cant be pretty???? People are weird
I absolutely love how you say "sorry!" I love your Canadian accent!
I think it's cool that there is a blind TH-camr as young people who are blind or are going blind have someone to help them understand or something like that. (Or someone to look up to I guess)
I have epilepsy and when I meet people that don't know and I tell them they say "you don't look like you have epilepsy!" And I hate it so much. Also a lot of people don't know what to do if I have a seizure in public. Everyone just stares at me like a zoo exhibit. You are right, a lot of people are uneducated about a lot of different disabilities. I feel there should be a show or something about different disabilities. But anyways, I came across your channel from Piinksparkles and you're so inspirational :) thank you for boosting my confidence.
About #5...my mother did actually consider abortion, when the doctor told her there was something wrong with the fetus. When it was confirmed to be heart issues, she decided to keep me. But if I had something like Down Syndrome, or Cerebral Palsy, or something OBVIOUS, she didn't want to deal with it. But since I look normal, it's okay... whatever
There are so many I have could rant forever. I'm visually impaired (legally blind but have 12%) have been since birthday. Some I got often are
'So what can you actually see.' I realise that's not a stupid question but since I have been visually impaired since birth I don't really know the difference. It when they don't accept that answer that it get frustrating.
Another one is 'you only 12% but you can see and you don't have a guide dog.' As much as I am technically blind the vision I have seems be make me look like I'm not and why does carrying a white Cain or having a guide dog define blindness.
Finally the comment 'oh you don't look blind' that one just gets to me so much! Anyway rant over.
Love this video.Recently discovered you through Lucy.s channel.defiantly subscribing
Great video Molly! I love your channel, and want to share something. Before having cancer I had no idea how to react in front of people with a different health condition or disability, but after listening to you and Emily Davinson, I realized that feeling sorry for disable people is so wrong and selfish! Thanks for making me a better person!
i have an eating disorder and my top 5 annoying things people have said to me are:
1) You don't look anorexic.
2) Why can't you just eat? It's not such a big deal you're just being over dramatic.
3) You're just looking for attention because you're obviously not fat.
4) You have food being offered to you and you're not eating? You're so ungrateful.
5) You can lose weight the healthy way, you know? You can eat healthy and exercise.
I'm all for people asking questions and trying to understand my situation but some people say such ignorant and inconsiderate things.
Hey Molly it was a pleasure hearing you at our school but it is very disappointing how people treated you as a kid and that there was not as much support as needed while you were growing up I think that you were very powerful in getting past your struggles I think that people need to be more informed about the disability before they judge I have many small disabilities but nothing that can even compare to yours or other life changing problems
And I have one question for you would you ever try and take up a sport that relied more on sound than sight
And I really hope that people see you now and regret the thing they did to you before they took drastic measure and started to mentally hurt you because of your disability
"At least you are not dying of cancer" ... well i almost died of cancer and that was rude to the people that have cancer ... i'm sorry but i was ready to cry about this and *PEOPLE DO NOT MESS WITH OTHER'S PAIN !!!*
cw: suidice
i think the most inappropriate thing people have ever said to me about my disability once i tell them what all the chronic conditions i have are has been, "wow, you're so brave! if i had all those problems, i definitely would have killed myself a long time ago!"
like...how am i supposed to respond to that? the worst part is this hasn't just happened once, and it hasn't always been from strangers!
"You cannot campare each other's pain." Well said! I wish more and more people understood this.
Wow the things that come out of people's mouths! Haven't people ever heard don't say anything if you don't have anything nice to say?? I teach autistic children and I have had many people tell them, "wow they look so "normal" they don't look autistic". I am just like really?! People don't think before they speak :(
I get "you're too young to have arthritis" or "you're young, how are you in so much pain" my favorite "wow, why do you take so much medication" because chronic illness has an age cut off or something
my weirdest 5 (I have GAD, SAD, ADHD and sensory overload):
5. I thought only little boys had that! (nope.)
4. Oh so you take meth? (also no.)
3. Can't you just ignore it? (No.)
2. You don't deserve a service dog. (Nobody "deserves" one. They need one. Like I do.)
1. I used to be like that, I grew out of it. I'm sure you will too! (I've had it my whole life, so...)
I work in a clothing stor. I just happen to catch a blind lady walk in. I greated her as she first steped in the door and helped her pick out a years worth of cloths she bought. I descriped everthing to her in detail
Love your videos! I'm hard of hearing, and I've had people ask me where I'm from or what accent I have, tell me I'm too young to have hearing aids, or the "what are you deaf or something?" there's more than that but those are ones I've heard over the past few weeks
Some people just really seem to have not learned tact or how to judge what's appropriate to say. I'm able bodied but I was telling someone once that my brothers were 10 and 7 years older than me, and they went 'oh, so were you an accident?' And I'm like 🙄 seriously, what kind of question is that? But yeah, some of these that you get are just ridiculous, what possesses someone to ask that so brazenly?
The midget comment were so funny, sometimes I'm amazed what goes through peoples heads. And the pageant girl, she does fit the stereotype, lol. I work for a company that produces audio books for the visually impaired(DAISY) and through my work I have met many blind people, and they were all unique and different, just like everybody else. I don't understand why some people would assume otherwise.
2016 Molly looks so very different than 2020 Molly
It's really cool to look back on old videos and see how much people change
someone told me (i have tourette's) that it was just 'the music pent up inside you wanting to break free'
I have ADHD which is pretty common and stands for attention deficit hyper disorder, so it obviously causes me to be very hyper sometimes and once someone asked me how I slept if I was hyper all the time🤔 I sleep like anyone else it just causes me to be more hyper than normal at time which doesn’t mean all the time
I have an ankle disability ( I consider it a disability) I can't walk most of the time but I don't have a cast or wrap I just wear shoes and socks like normal people and people say to me stop being a wimp get out of the wheelchair and walk it hurts me inside cause I'm not normal cause I have an ankle disability
I came over from Lucy's channel and I think I'll stick around!
I'm not even done watching this video, but what you're saying about comparing pain resonates with me. I know a girl who went through something incredibly tragic at a young age. She and some of her family members have at times made people feel like their pain couldn't possibly compare to hers. My default response to it has always been that you can't rank grief. We have no way of physically experiencing the pain someone else feels, so it's unfair to try to diminish what someone else feels just because it might not have been as big of a deal to you if you went through it. Same as with happiness. There are different levels to it, and there are different things that trigger it. We're never going to know exactly what someone's saddest or happiest feeling feels like. All we can compare it to is what our own saddest or happiest feeling feels like.
I've been following multiple blind people on youtube now and you're right, each person is totally different, three of them that I follow (including you) are motivational speakers even and you're all different.
Tommy Edison (blind since birth)
Yesterdays Wishes (you obviously know)
Breaking Blind (lost sight at 16/17)
Joy Ross (lost sight as an adult with two children)
6thgraderfriends
I love that way of talking about comparing pain!! I have always believed you can't compare pain but I have a hard time being convincing or exlaining it. But I love that you mention it in a way that takes into consideration that for humans and our hormones and physiology, everything is relative. I am totally using that!!
When i told someone i didn't have depth perception (aka see in 2D like a movie or something) and they said "wait, so you're blind? How many fingers am i holding up?"
My brother has a disability and I've gotten "Do you want him to die?" Seriously dude!
love this! people are just ignorant unfortunately😕 but besides that i just have to say i know you used to be sighted and knew how beautiful you are but you are gorgeous and your makeup is on point! loved your makeup vid btw. just found your videos through tommy and im glad i did! All your content is so interesting and inspiring!
1) Just this evening I was trying to tell my mum that things like pain, sufferings and diseases cannot be compared. You can't tell someone that they had it better then someone else so it shouldn't matter. And she replied saying that people say these things to encourage people because things could actually go worse but they didn't. And I said, "No! This doesn't sound encouraging to me at all. It's offensive." and even before I could say anything further, she got so annoyed that she started shouting at me so I had to shut up.
2) Once I had a classmate who probably didn't have any concept of privacy or manners/etiquettes. So he came in the class and sat near me without asking me even though that particular seat belonged to my friend. Then he took my phone which placed on the table at that moment and didn't have any lock. He started opening every single things like picture gallery and my social medias and checking the whole phone and asked for the specifics too. And even though I found it very disrespectful, I answered his questions. And then he says, "Nice phone.......... For a girl."
And I was like what do you even mean?
My daughter is 12 and doesn't believe you are blind and trust me I have tried to explain to her how you do certain things. Just some food for thought on people commenting on you not really being blind...
Hi Molly Im 19 and I've recently been diagnosed with RP and finding your videos this week has been a major highlight. I presently am only night blind and dealing with that alone has been a struggle all my life with people not understanding, saying stupid things and choosing to make fun of me for it. I think you're such an inspiration and have helped me come to terms with the fact that I may lose my sight and i'd love to talk more with you 😊
I noticed she ALWAYS wears that cute dainty necklace with a "G" I believe stamped on the front. Does anyone know what it stands for?
Meebles Sporella I'm pretty sure it's for her guide dog Gallup :)
Reannon Bigley and gipsy her former dog
Meebles Sporella Pretty sure it's for Gallop, who she mentions in almost every video, or Gypsy, her former GD.
Meebles Sporella probably Gallop
God?
I have Fugue Syndrome so people will constantly tell me that I'm faking having seizures because I go to concerts (I'm not epileptic so strobing lights and loud noises don't trigger them) or that THEY KNOW I remember something. Like excuse me? I didn't know that you knew what I remembered and what I don't
I know this is an older video but one I have gotten a lot from nurses and doctors is "oh your too young to have to deal with this". I have a genetic condition, I've had it since I was an embryo...I am now 30, but I do look younger than my age and I still get this all the time. I get that they mean it's sad that I have to deal with massive health issues but that sucks no matter how old you are lol. do they feel less sad for an 80 year old? I also get "your so strong and brave" and while I am proud of myself for not letting my health struggles make me into this bitter or jaded person, being strong is pretty much my only option here lol. or just "you poor thing your too beautiful to have all of this bad stuff happen"...I don't want people to pity me lol and I'd also like to state that you shouldn't feel bad for only the sick people you find visually pleasing. that is weird. and I hear all of this stuff more from a medical professional than any other person. which concerns me slightly lol. can you imagine if they had a sick person come into the hospital that they thought was ugly and just didn't care for what that person was going through because of that? I don't think people think when they talk sometimes
I have a mental illness. I think the weirdest thing people ‘say’ about my disability is nothing. Complete silence, crickets etc. You have the courage open up to them about a vulnerability and they don’t even acknowledge it. I was on a radio talk show about my illness and my relative success with it against many stereotypes of people with this illness, and no one called!