Cherish Your Spouse, Change Your Marriage Part 1 - Gary Thomas
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 เม.ย. 2019
- Gary Thomas wants to help married couples take their relationship to the next level by showing them how to support, adore, showcase and protect their spouse. Husbands and wives know they are supposed to love each other, but they don’t always like or appreciate each other; cherishing is aimed at reaching for that ideal where you genuinely enjoy your spouse. Cherishing is different from infatuation because you cherish someone even though you know all their faults and weaknesses. Gary described practical ways to cherish: by paying attention to your spouse, going to them first, supporting, encouraging rather than criticizing, and avoiding contempt.
You can find Gary's book on our store here: bit.ly/2UMtVvQ
Cherishing is something we need to be intentional about doing, even if we do it imperfectly and the result will be a happier, more fulfilling relationship in marriage.
I love it when i hear men mention their wives in a conversation as "my bride", even when they have been married for 25, 35 or more years. They are publically cherishing their wives. Those men get it! You dont hear men say it very often but when they do my ears perk up and i listen to what they have to say. I would love to share a cup of coffee with their wives. We as woman need biblical fellowship with other like-minded women.
This warms my heart.
Not for me. I'd much prefer to be called 'wife'.
You can and should cherish your spouse, you can do everything right, of course we're never perfect. But even if you do your best, your spouse can hurt you in unimaginable ways. Ways that can completely destroy you. ....... But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which HE loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together in Christ. I love my wife because Christ loves me inspite of my sin and shortcomings. I sin against my Savior and he keeps pursuing me. I show grace because Jesus shows grace to me. And now my Lord and Savior gets all the credit because apart from Him I can do nothing. Praise the Lord! He sustains me and my marriage :)
Cherish your spouse... Respect her! Compliment her! Appreciate her! Omit the ego! Be kind w your words and say pls.., I'm sorry and thank you when any situation goes for it!
And him?
@@forrestsaxon3707Right!
I've learned today what is cherishing my wife means and the importance thereof. I will practice it as from today
This is why most marriages fail, most women never get to feel such stability in our marriage. And I'm married.
9:47 "The lust to be appreciated, to be noticed, to be served, to be pleasured, is like any other lust. It can't be satisfied; it has to be crucified."
Whoo, boy. I had my first little daughter almost a year ago now. My husband and I spent the first 6 months feeling like we were drowning. We were depressed, anxious, stressed, and I realised I was clinging to him for affirmation instead of Jesus. It's still hard, this is something I struggle with every day, but the LORD is my strength and hope, in good times and bad.
What? What is this guy talking about.
It's a hard balance - we as men are called to sacrificially love our wives and lay down our lives for her as Christ did so for the church. This means that we are called to be the embodiment of God's love to our spouse. Hopefully, we can accomplish this (at least at times), but that can make it hard for our wives to realize that the love from God is an infinite amount more pure than the love they could ever get from us.
To be appreciated.. I wouldn't know. I live in a loveless marriage. But I lust for my husband to lust for me. To be intimate with me...occasionally even.. but I continue to be alone.
Esther Miller definitely seek a marriage counsellor wh focuses on intimacy. Much can be unlocked. Jane Roder is fantastic but there are many out there
You just nailed it. This message can be dangerous.
Thank you to the Focus on The Family crew ... these are great food for marriage!
Love the first quote!
Thank you! Beautiful message.
this is so amazing, i think this is the 4 time I listen to this. share to everyone
This, melted my heart. It broke me,!
WoW thank you. You spoke my hearts desires today. I am looking for your book.
Such a beautiful episode, thank you !:)
💛 This is GOLD 💛
Wonderful thank you.
Wonderful wisdom
My grandmother always said (pick your battles) Nothing is forever.
Thank you!
This was excellent! Thank you so much. I can't wait to read the book. God bless!
My husband lied and betrayed me from lying about a major financial school loan for his son from another marriage after he made a vow in front of a priest to be honest about financial decisions
Great series
thanks soo much
Thank you so much your video help me
Thanks
Powerful 👌
It is so true
Wow! Balle example
I live in Winnipeg and Feburary would be the worst month to visit, please come back between June and September.
Loved it. It's informative and encouraging.
This was absolutely brilliant. ❤
Emanuel worship service 12-18-2022
It's hard to hear this being said after your husband cheated for 3 months and left the family you both created while his wife was fighting many illnesses, all because his family told him to cheat then leave his family during his depression all because they never liked her. 😢 when he says it, I feel nothing for him, then i feel worthless as a wife.
Women, please start by cherishing your husbands.
Its because of their dedication to you and the children that you have everything before you.
Cc Amen 🙌
or because of him that u don't and every week is another battle in barely making it. your perspective is one sided Cc.
Agree to a point. Sometimes they don't and you suffer because of them.
Cc we watched the video and don’t need your preaching. Thanks anyway. Work on your own .
What’s the name of this book
Cherish your spouse because one mans trash is another mans treasure.
Love Gary’s books and message but as a dietitian specializing in the treatment of eating disorders it’s sad to not be able to share “Cherish” with my clients freely. The language around his wife’s relationship with food and judgement of carbs/sugar is triggering for my client population whom are all
Working hard to normalize the way they see food instead of compulsively putting it into good/bad categories. I wish diet culture hadn’t charged the human appetite with such shame and disgrace. When people buy into it being a “sin” to enjoy tasty food we do a disservice to the humanness of appetite and pleasure. We can enjoy all
Foods in moderation and detach from judgement of the food and ourselves. Orthorexia and other eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness so any reinforcement of those black and white values concerns me and triggers my clients who are working hard to recover from addition.
Marriages do change constantly, almost all for the worse.
For me, marriage is where where Peace, Quiet, Freedoms and Dreams all died.
Hopefully, Your Millage May Vary.
Good luck and God speed.
Have to agree with you...
Reality speaks clearly....year after year of lost dreams, lost hope, lost desires, lastly...lost love 💔
One can't work at it while the other takes (key work) it all in.
It truly takes two, to want to!
I will have to disagree. Although marriages may change because people change (and there doesn’t have to be anything dramatic to cause it) change isn’t almost for the worst. I should be divorced but because my wife is and has been strong with GOD I have changed my ways. Now we both are at the bottom of a pyramid with GOD at the top. Our bad times are under HIM as he guides us.
@@mikefinger8374 I am very glad for you, you are blessed.
@@mikefinger8374 but you said both of you do that... I work with women when the spouse won't work on it :(
@@andrealmoseley6575 Indeed!!
Actually no that doesn’t always change your marriage Gary Thomas. I would actually write scripture out as you stated 14 seconds in. She would actually look at it in the wrong direction as if I was using it to get an advantage over her or manipulate her.
I stopped doing those things eventually. Now I’m divorced and wish someone would actually like those things from me.
Sacred search
Sacred marriage
Cherish
Tried my hardest to implement those things and now with all the information I’ve learned over the years including others besides just three books.... no one to share it with
I would love to hear my husband say "my wife" in a conversation
What did he say when you told him that?
She probably didn’t. Just expected him to know.
My husband has a lot of pride and he thinks it makes a man weak to be humble...he's 57...I would think that's a young man's perception
@@leuveniapolk4928 He is NOT by himself with the PRIDE factor!!! Yes, even aged (60s/70s) men also need to crucify the pride/ego.
What do you do when you tell and show your wife the things for your marriage to “take off” only to hear her tell you her daddy will always be her number one man and she’ll never put another man before her parents (as if I’m not a husband) and that my needs aren’t important and my concerns are nonsense (before she even hears my concerns)? All I want is to put my wife on a pedestal, but she continually kicks the pedestal and then blames me for our dysfunction. How do I turn a one sided situation around when all she seems to want is for me to shut up and leave her to her ideas?
You owe it to your first wife to tell her you WERE a jerk to her.
I've been married 30 years and my husband has never made me feel cherished. I'm made to feel second best to any and everything else. He cherishes himself. One example, we've just had half term (hes a teacher), and he spent from 9am to sundown at 9pm in his garage making balsa model airplanes. Only coming in for meals. A fine Christian husband?????
I would ask yourself if he has a narcissist spirit and intimacy issue?
@@kimortegastrongwarriorbrid5334 he's not nasty, there's no planning in what he does so he's not a narcissist. He's just too simple 🤷♀️
@@bygrace3113 have you heard of Covert narcissists and intimacy anxiety. I would suggest looking up that.
Try fascinating womenhood book
Ask him if you can help him build the airplane. Meet him where he is at. Slowly tell him you love spending time with him. Tell him you miss his presence. Cherish him even if you don't feel cherished back. Ask him to pray for you and your marriage. Ask to pray together. Tell him you want his attention because you love him.
The Adam and Eve comparison is a false analogy that is not based in current real life. Eve had no personality issues, gonna go out on a limb and say she had no depression or anxiety, no way she could have cheated on Adam. This was also before sin. Sure maybe we can learn something about cherishing from it, but it still is wrong to use that for modern couples because what they had then can not be fully attained by couples nowadays.
IS BEUTIFULL SONS OFF SALOMON,BUT WE HAS TO BALANCE COS NATURAL CALNAL CANT UNDESTHING THIS COMUNICATION BEUTIFULL UNIQUE CLEAN,ITOLL MY HOSBAND TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT,SOMETIME ITALK TO HIM LIKE THAT HI LOVEIT IS BEAUTIFULL IFELL INLOVE WITH MY HONEY 🥰
I think I threw up a little in my mouth.