I'm an introvert. People at work ask me why I don't contribute more during the meetings. I tell them I really don't have anything to add to the discussions. But the truth is I don't say much because I know that it is pointless. Why should I try to give my ideas away, when the ones with the loudest voices will be the ones making the decisions?
The worst is talking nonsense, smalltalk, chitchat conversations with strangers - you don't want to know them, you don't want to talk to, and especially parties - only depleting your own batteries, overwhelming. It's much more refreshing, just being alone, or into nature, or having a hobby of yourself.
No need to make a fuss about it. Introverts have put up with abuse all their lives, as they are told to be "more social" etc. We are tough enough to get through that, and then we go on to create companies, technology, and scientific theories that provide so much of what society takes for granted. We have put up with "team building" and "group projects" and gone on to shine anyway. It's the empty can that makes the most noise. If you want to know what is going on, ask an introvert and then shut up and listen as well as he he just listened to you.
I feel like the place that looks down on introverts the most is America. I guess it depends on each state but from what I’ve seen if you’re an American people think there’s something wrong with you if you prefer to be quiet and on your own. Once America became more advanced the pressure to be more outgoing also increased. That’s why I’ve always admired Japan or the UK, being an introvert is not only tolerated it’s viewed as polite.
I agree with this 100%. In school, if there's a group of, let's say 4 people, I by myself can finish in 1/3 time that they can. Introvert to the core right here.
Usually in group assigments if you have 4 members, 2 of them actually are doing the task & 2 of them are not & usually 1 one of the active ones end up doing most of the task & that person is usually an introvert. I hate group assigments.
I love you, listening to you makes me so comfortable. My mom is an introvert, my husband, my daughter and sister. I am an ambivert but mostly introverted. I work nightshifts mostly and I am a writer and musician. Silence is medicine.
"Wishing to be home in my pajamas " is a phrase i say to express how happiest I am away from big crowds or parties which forces me to meet new people that exhaust me.
I totally feel uncomfortable & offended in a situation where there's a group working quietly and a person storms in on the scene and assumes that the group is not doing anything because of silence. But the group has been working silently & writing things down. There is a taboo imposed on people who like working quietly & alone. One has to be loud, one has to be talkative.
You're my hero! You wore the same outfit 2 years ago. And, they're both on the internet. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without!" You ROCK!
Introverted Virgo, I relate to her. Especially about the books I'd rather have a few beers and read a book in silence than deal with a scenario where I gotta go out and "save face" but yet, we do it every day. So draining. But as an introvert, if you get that right extrovert friend you can really get a natural high on life.
I am grateful for your educational views on attractive introverts, I am a 53 year old woman, and for most of my life I struggled with not knowing why I was like I was, and it has caused me a lot of confusion. Anger, heartbreak.. Now I am aware, but now I have to heal all the heartbreak, anger, confusion!.. I guess I can say, I didn't experience positive introversion..
I am an introvert and people at work want me to be more vocal. They never want to accept my personality what so ever. Thanks to them that now I have social anxiety disorder and feels something is wrong with me. I failed at trying to be an extrovert and now I am not even a confident introvert.
Yes and it hurts that despite of doing everything at work, all they want from you to be chatty all the time. I listen and grabs people suggestions and only contribute when I have something solid. Introverts should be treated fairly at workplace.
I can relate to that but I have grown so much and now I have accepted myself for who I am. When it matters I stand out at work but I play by my rules and that is truly empowering. Believe in yourself and don't aplogize for being you.
I always always get asked why my face is a certain way when I am working on my computer, so I know exactly what she means 😂 I even get that “are you depressed” ? Little do they know I’m having a party in my mind hahaha
This is interesting, my Brother is extremely talented and creative on many levels and socializes yet he also has times where he just wants to be by himself and not be around anyone. A loner who traveled many places( including the woods, he loved nature and animals as well) and made many friends. He had amazing intuition. Still, brilliant and charming man. So, yeah, I totally understand this.
Truly, introversion (or even periods of introversion) is so important, because that is who we are and that introverted place is the seat of our soul and the place where we can come to know our true selves. Possibly the source for endless inspiration. That was a great story shared about the grandfather !!
I saw that office floor plan and just tensed looking at it. I have one class in college that is mostly group work. When we have tests I do fine because it is quiet and I can focus, but I always sound like an idiot when we are doing work in class. I don't have time to form my opinions and that hurts my ideas.
I discovered I was an introvert several years ago when my Pastor shared the quiz 16Personalities. As a nurse I could never figure out why I was so drained at the end of the day. Not the way you’d think. Yes I was tired from the physical work (which I am now paying for I might add) but it was if I was an overinflated balloon that someone finally let the air out of. I would get to my car and I wouldn’t even have the mental capacity to put the key in the ignition. I had to sit in my car for a few minutes and just BE. To me, being an introvert was an anathema. But after taking the quiz it was amazing what I learned about myself. Recently I was thinking about my oldest sister who was diagnosed with ADHD when she was probably in her 60’s. All those years ago people didn’t know about that or if they did they weren’t talking. I began to think about my life and I wondered if she had ADHD could I also since we shared much of the same tendencies. I went online and found out that yes I possibly have ADHD with inattentive presentation. And I thought about my son and grandson and realized they too could have the same issues. While I am not bouncing off the walls the hyperactivity can manifest itself by constantly doing something while supposedly being quiet such as shaking a leg, twirling hair etc. Which explains why I always had trouble concentrating, formulating thoughts (as Susan mentioned the class would be over before I could formulate and share an idea). Right now my son is grilling dinner and all I can think of I wish he could finish up and turn his music down which is loud enough to rattle my brain. Soon, I hope!!
I know from experience how many people who are not really competent to do their jobs skate under the radar under the guise of "group efforts". At work I see 2-3 people doing one person jobs and they take much longer to accomplish the task than what it would take to do it solo. Of course there are times when we need to collaborate and bring in different skillsets and knowledge bases, but too much I see people doing things in a group just to live up to the ideal of it.
I'm reading your book, "Quiet," currently, and, while I've known for years that I'm an introvert, the book has helped me to see how much more introverted I actually am and it has also helped explain things that happened to me in my early childhood. For example, my mother always told me I was a "colicy baby," so, when I read what you wrote about "high-reactive" children, I knew that I had definitely been one and I've been able to recognize this in myself even later on in my adult life. That said, I have since learned how to cultivate a more or less ambiverted mode. I am sometimes mistaken for being an extrovert, but this only happens when I'm around people who share common interests with me. Otherwise, I'm mostly spending my time alone. In fact, if I'm invited to a party at which there is no one I know and the people there don't seem to share anything in common with me, I will eventually wind up by myself, thinking about what I'm going to do when I get home. Explains why no one has invited me to a party in years, huh? Solitude is a large part of my life. I'm a street photographer, among other things, but even in a crowded urban area, I become lost in the crowd, alone in my head, and this is when I feel "in the zone," in which I create my best images. Sometimes, it helps if I take my MP3 player with me, loaded with instrumental music (mostly jazz), as this helps me to further screen out the people around me. In my photos, the people in my scenes are only props, mostly silhouettes, who are only there to complete the scenes by lendng the human element. Oddly enough, the people watching me work think I'm an "undercover cop" doing photosurveillance. Part of the reason for listening to music is to drown out their chatter about who they think I am and what they think I'm doing.
Ha ha I love how she starts off by mocking group work. It's just so assumed that getting together in groups is the best way to do things. It's become the normal way of doing something and no one expects it to be questioned. Even though we all hate it and realize that it is a waste.
This reminds me of getting a fun job at Skip the Dishes. The open concept office space was really distracting and i could not focus. My tasks never could be successfully completed and it resulted in me getting yelled at publicly and demoted. I moved to about 3 different positions(9mths) and i just left to go back into delivering as a Skip courier.
Actually I don’t give a damn what extroverts think about me ( I am an Introvert) and other introverts understand so I don’t have to explain that I am NOT angry! I am shy to some degree but not like I was as a child ! I found to my surprise and delight no one was looking at me and judging me ! Although for some unknown reason there are people with whom that old shyness comes out of hiding ! I grit my teeth and fight that old shyness right back into hiding! BUT don’t misunderstand I like people as a rule ,I have found humanity for most part are really nice! Love❤️ and Blessing 😇 to each and everyone of you wherever you are on this Beautiful Planet ! From Arizona U S A 🇺🇸 with Love ❤️
The problem with this world is the extrovert... extrovert always want introvert to change.. while the introverts are kind people... we dont ask extrovert to change.. we accept them for what they are.. in fact we empower them when they r down... but extroverts people are mean... they insult the introverts all the time.. it makes us feel demotivated... extroverts are horrrible people
Most extroverts aren’t really deep thinkers and operate life on a shallow level. If you don’t stimulate their egos, they aren’t gonna care about you. They’re gonna see you more as a means to an end rather than a real human. Horrible people, I don’t think so. But self centered yes.
The moment you started talking about what is in your suitcase, you started with the extroverts... and the moment you moved to the introvert suitcase i expected examples. But you came that we were guarded about what was in it.... that hurt... its true :(
There are not many people that actually understand when you try to convey something. Even the professionals say we are overthinking. Friends , partner or family say we are projecting our feelings into reality and that we are way in our heads, when we know our intuition is not wrong. I literally stopped expressing my feelings because i am tired of being told that - it’s all in my head. I am much more content with keeping things for myself instead of trying to explain it to someone or to get an answer for something
Totally get it. So does Jesus (the one who can create a speck of dust & and alot more! I get treated w/ total dissrespect. But.... can i be that stupid??? No, not possible... we vmfa 232 "Red devils", had the most fighter ready fighter jet squadron in the world in 78 & why deployed to Kuang Ju Korea, say " I wouldent do that if I we're you!
I am full of admiration for you for the remarkable insight you give me. I was born a poet, became a lawyer so O! I know the woe. However one comment I must say is, that I wish you had put up JK Rowlings photo up there. These men are extremely admirable but we women need to be conscious how we women are being overlooked. Thank you
I'm an extreme introvert. I think us introverts can be resourceful because if I need recharge time I will find anyway...even sneaking off to a bathroom for a few minutes.
Me (a barista in a coffee shop): "Hi! What can I get for you two?" Kim: "I'll just have a-" Susan: "Hi. That's Kim. And I'm Susam. Kim will just have a medium black coffee. And I'll have a frozen peppermint mocha with lots of whipped cream. Don't mind Kim. She's a 'recovering introvert'." Me: "So, tell me, Kim, how does it feel to know that your friend, here, thinks there's something wrong with you?" Kim: "I hate it. She does it all the time." Susan: (gasps) "Me? I don't think that! Why would you say that?" Kim: "It's like I'm your 'project', a paper doll for you to make into your own image. Why can't I just be my own person? What's wrong with being an introvert?" And that's how I got a $10 tip from Kim for a cup of black coffee.
I'm an INTJ. It works fine for me. I have big plans and long term goals that involve changing the world. (ha ha ha). Since I'm interested in health and longevity, I plan to be around a long time to implement the long term goals, or watch other people realize this is the way we need to go. Getting rid of the, lawyer inspired and enabled, non-scientific, "evidence-based" medicine paradigm is first on my list. It looks like it is happening. But getting the public on board and embracing the new paradigm (bioenergy measuring and enhancement, among other things) is going to be challenging and slow.
I had a partner in math class and teacher said to get to know each other. To me that just meant to introduce myself. Like my name. My partner it meant to give his life story. Longest 5-10 min when I just wanted to learn how to do math. Extroverts just drain me so much. They talk too much and act like I should be interested in what they have to say. I am not. I just want quiet 🤫
Better being stamped "boring, quiet & shy" than having stupid, silly & nonsense conversations with extroverts. Society sucks, in terms of lemmings behaviour. Just be yourself - and happy. It's not important, what others (might) think about you...
Chin up, darling. A fellow introvert could enjoy a neat gift in your company; feeling relatively "extroverted" by your thoughtful presence. Assuming that like the rest of us introverts you only speak when your thoughts make it past your internal quality controls. So, you only say what is well-considered.
Let the people talk. You know who you are and why you do something or how you react to something, that's the important thing. I find it too tedious and not absolutely necessary to convince others to understand you and your behavior, a pure waste of time, so to speak. SAYING NOTHING often means more than SAYING TOO MUCH. Most of the time one goes around in circles and discuss things to death. That makes no sense. I've been through enough meetings where the talk was just for the talk because many can't stand the silence and feel like they need to talk. I like to watch colleagues who constantly do their duet to make themselves feel important. Sometimes I grinned inwardly because I didn't necessarily find everything constructive. What I don't like is the false and fake friendliness und fake kindness.
I've heard that "type A" personalities get energized/stimulated from being around other people, whereas "type B" get drained. I'm definitely a type B. Though I have to say, though I usually am totally drained from most social situations, there _have_ been a few times where things actually didn't turn out so bad, where, at the end of it actually felt somewhat stimulated, where I almost had an inexplicable need/desire to want it to continue, and although felt a certain relief from finally being out of it, kind of missed it and felt depressed in some way by having come to an end. It's weird. Like some sort of inner paradox.
the audience is perplexed bc this goes against the grain of everything that they have learned and practiced in their careers. However, in the engineering group I worked in; the most highly effective engineer was the promoted to highest level an engineer can attain because of his contributions to the organization throughout his career. As a result, he was promoted to a level of management leading of all R & D and current product design and testing. And that is quite an undertaking because we had 456 engineering personnel onsite .
I think I am introverted person, and I wonder why extroverts hates introverts? We just don't have extra energy like them. And we like to talk when its necessary. Introverts prefer to do things more than talking.
@@gillianbergh7002 yeah extroverts think that introverts are judgemental. And to be honest introverts are analysing the others more than extroverts, but not for judging purposes. We are just more curious and less excited than extroverts.
I am a introvert..I have no problem to speak my mind sometimes I even feel pleased been vocal...as long the conversation it's helpful heave meaning and always deep and philosophical...o am unable to enjoy simple casual every day little things....deep and philosophical conversations are serious and gloomy..I envy extroverts
if i was the speaker... id be like... long pause.. not say anything and stare at them all.. and make sure to say.... i love you... because you are in a room full of special covert persons. im one of them too 😉
I've known that I am an introvert since I was 8 years old. Susan Cain makes a very good argument, but I think she is wasting her time trying to change things. IMHO the status quo in Western society is too established, and the extroverts will always rule the roost. I have experienced this recently in my work and can't see it changing any time soon. Of course, I hope that I'm wrong.
I think it’s just mainly due to the fact that extroverts tend to be more assertive than introverts, thus they are more likely and feel more inclined to implement and impose their values and beliefs on others and to the world as a whole. Introverts are more reserved type, of course we can be social, but I don’t necessarily believe we feel as naturally inclined to impose our values and beliefs (such as beliefs relating to how a system should function in a work environment) on others and the world. Our ideas get drowned out by those of the extroverts because they are louder and more willing to fight for people to adopt their beliefs, they overpower the ideas of introverts due to their natural tendency to be assertive. That’s my theory as to why society is extrovert dominant, but I could be wrong. I’m not saying introverts are shy people or can’t be assertive or confident, I’m just saying based off my personal experiences and observations of people and society, that extroverts are generally more assertive.
Susan Cain, there is no way there will be a general embracing of both introverts and extroverts in the workplace since the large part of western capitalism involves selling stuff (even stuff that isn't material). The Zuckerberg example is a remarkable exception that is not applicable in general situations. INTJ Zuckerberg is realizing his goal to change the world. Not sure how much he is actually improving quality of life for people. But he sure is wealthy.
Hi Susan. I spent alot of years extroverted. Then all hell broke loose. I spent 20 and hard earned dollars and ( 20 years) of service with no appricition. Introverts , Gostics freethinking, it seems it's popular for these adults that were in diapers and I was a pot head teen in the 80s. Some of these help groups threaten people with superstitions thinking if they see the beauty around and everybody keeping score of others. But if I'm alone too long I will get into depression. During a project depression will pull me down. I used to love to be alone. Thank you. Bob
Its not any longer whos the loudest, but whos the most ridiculous at it...that is true, since people fall for charisma...and its also true that people always pick on a scapegoat, to get their level even higher...HUH
Moses and Jesus were/are a man whom God talked with and instructed and God's only begotten (of woman) Son. "Ms." Cain steps over the line with her concept that this man and this God/man can in any way be grouped with puny men.
You clearly have never read a bible. If you can read the Bible clearly shows that God has no image or form, and that no man pays for another man's sins. The distortion of Jesus into God's son is a straight up lie made up by people. I don't know how anyone can read the Old Testament and then the made up New Testament and beleive in the lie of Jesus who most likely never exist. God hates idols and Christianity is a perverse form of idol worship based on the Mithras myth.
Simple test: The world is flat and stationary. Guess what. As an extrovert you will not find the truth. As extrovert you will align with the opinion of the person you like. Sorry, the world is really flat and as the extrovert you cannot convince the introvert of the truth. So you miss the truth and piss your life away. Sorry again.
If introverts have problems concentrating with noise and activity around them they need more practice focusing and disciplining themselves. They don't need to pay attention to a bunch of external stuff that's none of their business.
The Saalome Peace Meditation: Saalome gam naan ben uurda, gan njjber asaala hesporoona! Friede sei auf der Erde, und unter allen Geschöpfen! Peace be on earth, and among all creatures! ¡Paz en la tierra y entre todas las criaturas! Que la paix soit sur la terre et parmi toutes les créatures ! Fred være på jorden og blandt alle skabninger! Que a paz esteja na terra, e entre todas as criaturas! Ειρήνη στη γη και σε όλα τα πλάσματα! Да будет мир на земле и между всеми существами! Мир на землі та між усіма створіннями!
Why is she not mentioning AMBIVERTS? Most people are somewhere in d middle. Don' t know why people keep saying so many extroverts exist. I have met so very many from d west.
At work my boss don't bother me with meetings beacause they are pointless, she just give me a task or a problem to solve and I will figure it out in silence, no pointless talking for a sake of it, if I have some question I will ask and if someone have a meaningful advice I will take it, at previous job we had this frigtening guy called anmator, he just randomly took people away from their work and come up with some stipid games that usually squisched workers together in different combinations, it was awful, he supposed to energise people, but all he did was to sap my energy away.
As crestons wife she is wrong about a few things isolation workaholic isolated in their work or mark from fb he's not an introvert he is stoic I had a friend and a Dr who was stoic they rarely smile they are so no personality I'm an introvert that's not an introvert the designer isolated in his work I'm an introvert we smile more we are not stoic like mark of fb we don't live in isolation like that designer for months at a time that has nothing to do with being an introvert but she's right we love our alone quiet time and we like a different environment we don't like large crowds of people talking to us or a large gatherings during that time if we go we will be like can't wait till this is over talking to one person ignoring the crowd and we perfer book stores libraries not bars or nightclubs we don't like what the life of the party does we don't enjoy that and introverts have more of a personality and we smile more look at mark in a cbs interview with his wife he's a complete stoic no smile no personality whatsoever that's not us introverts we may be quite but we smile and we do have a personality stoic people never have that like that friend I had the Dr I had just like mark from fb we are nothing like mark or that designer but she had alot right except those two things
rvtj40 I often think that about Susan too but I realise that to get the message across she has to repeat herself. And as an introvert, it was probably easier for her to memorise and repeat the same speech over and over to get more comfortable and more able to spread this important information.
she reminds me of Phoebe Buffay from friends tv show
Omg! Thats who she sounds like, youre soo right
Yes!!! Hahhaha
same !!
Or maybe the actress who played role of Phoebe Buffay in F.R.I.E.N.D.S is doppelganger of Susan Cain
I thought it was her until I looked at the screen.
I'm an introvert. People at work ask me why I don't contribute more during the meetings. I tell them I really don't have anything to add to the discussions. But the truth is I don't say much because I know that it is pointless. Why should I try to give my ideas away, when the ones with the loudest voices will be the ones making the decisions?
So what?
I never said a single word in any of my meetings.
well, I prefer to do some action rather than just talk, that is the best choice for me.
Real talk
This is so me in meetings. And worse still, turn the meeting into a contest of who's idea is the best!
The worst is talking nonsense, smalltalk, chitchat conversations with strangers - you don't want to know them, you don't want to talk to, and especially parties - only depleting your own batteries, overwhelming. It's much more refreshing, just being alone, or into nature, or having a hobby of yourself.
15:00 -- She starts getting excited and fast with her passion.. such an introverted thing to do. :)
Learn to sit back and observe, not everything needs a reaction.
No need to make a fuss about it. Introverts have put up with abuse all their lives, as they are told to be "more social" etc. We are tough enough to get through that, and then we go on to create companies, technology, and scientific theories that provide so much of what society takes for granted. We have put up with "team building" and "group projects" and gone on to shine anyway.
It's the empty can that makes the most noise. If you want to know what is going on, ask an introvert and then shut up and listen as well as he he just listened to you.
So we'll put.
It's incredible how conceited you are
So true, thanks for sharing.
I feel like the place that looks down on introverts the most is America. I guess it depends on each state but from what I’ve seen if you’re an American people think there’s something wrong with you if you prefer to be quiet and on your own. Once America became more advanced the pressure to be more outgoing also increased. That’s why I’ve always admired Japan or the UK, being an introvert is not only tolerated it’s viewed as polite.
The UK? LoL
Ms. Cain is a refreshing breath of fresh air for my brain.
I've learned to stay away from people as much as possible. Best thing ever. If I'd only learned this years ago.
I agree with this 100%. In school, if there's a group of, let's say 4 people, I by myself can finish in 1/3 time that they can. Introvert to the core right here.
Static as a fellow Introvert I just do all the work instead, more efficient and they feel like they did something
yep!!!
This really helps with my self acceptance and understanding some parts of myself more clearly.
Bless her soul, she's doing awesome work
Usually in group assigments if you have 4 members, 2 of them actually are doing the task & 2 of them are not & usually 1 one of the active ones end up doing most of the task & that person is usually an introvert.
I hate group assigments.
Damn true
Haaaa, you are the person doing the work aren't you ☺️
@@karinemichaud5468 Same for me😂
I love you, listening to you makes me so comfortable. My mom is an introvert, my husband, my daughter and sister. I am an ambivert but mostly introverted. I work nightshifts mostly and I am a writer and musician. Silence is medicine.
We should start an "introvert's rights" movement
haha!!
Total Randomness no one would show up. If they did, few would chant.
🤪
It would be the most quiet movement in history
the world is too noisy
The Pivot to working without slides was very impressive. Very.
At last Susan Cain has helped me find my community ! Listening the positive stuff abt being an introvert made me proud!
I am an introverted tech business owner. I learned the value of being introverted decades ago....and it's worked out extremely well for me!😉😊
"Wishing to be home in my pajamas " is a phrase i say to express how happiest I am away from big crowds or parties which forces me to meet new people that exhaust me.
Totally relatable
I totally feel uncomfortable & offended in a situation where there's a group working quietly and a person storms in on the scene and assumes that the group is not doing anything because of silence. But the group has been working silently & writing things down. There is a taboo imposed on people who like working quietly & alone. One has to be loud, one has to be talkative.
I'm so introverted that my own family accuse me of being psychologically distant
You're my hero! You wore the same outfit 2 years ago. And, they're both on the internet. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without!" You ROCK!
Introverted Virgo, I relate to her. Especially about the books I'd rather have a few beers and read a book in silence than deal with a scenario where I gotta go out and "save face" but yet, we do it every day. So draining.
But as an introvert, if you get that right extrovert friend you can really get a natural high on life.
I am grateful for your educational views on attractive introverts, I am a 53 year old woman, and for most of my life I struggled with not knowing why I was like I was, and it has caused me a lot of confusion. Anger, heartbreak.. Now I am aware, but now I have to heal all the heartbreak, anger, confusion!.. I guess I can say, I didn't experience positive introversion..
Love it! (Fighter key Marine.)/introvert
I am an introvert and people at work want me to be more vocal. They never want to accept my personality what so ever. Thanks to them that now I have social anxiety disorder and feels something is wrong with me. I failed at trying to be an extrovert and now I am not even a confident introvert.
Unfortunately, extroverts can be bullies. Many of the really brilliant people I know are introverts :)
Yes and it hurts that despite of doing everything at work, all they want from you to be chatty all the time. I listen and grabs people suggestions and only contribute when I have something solid. Introverts should be treated fairly at workplace.
I think I've been feeling that way for a very long time and you just articulated it perfectly.
I think after too many breakdowns and living with social anxiety disorder. I know no one is worth your mental health. Be strong!
I can relate to that but I have grown so much and now I have accepted myself for who I am. When it matters I stand out at work but I play by my rules and that is truly empowering. Believe in yourself and don't aplogize for being you.
I always always get asked why my face is a certain way when I am working on my computer, so I know exactly what she means 😂
I even get that “are you depressed” ?
Little do they know I’m having a party in my mind hahaha
Susan Cain, period… Mahalo for this Ted talk!
Thank you for this. It helped me so much. You validated my feelings and experiences as an introvert.
This is interesting, my Brother is extremely talented and creative on many levels and socializes yet he also has times where he just wants to be by himself and not be around anyone. A loner who traveled many places( including the woods, he loved nature and animals as well) and made many friends. He had amazing intuition. Still, brilliant and charming man. So, yeah, I totally understand this.
Truly, introversion (or even periods of introversion) is so important, because that is who we are and that introverted place is the seat of our soul and the place where we can come to know our true selves. Possibly the source for endless inspiration. That was a great story shared about the grandfather !!
I saw that office floor plan and just tensed looking at it. I have one class in college that is mostly group work. When we have tests I do fine because it is quiet and I can focus, but I always sound like an idiot when we are doing work in class. I don't have time to form my opinions and that hurts my ideas.
But sometimes we introvert ‘s have to stand up and let the sleeping Lion 🦁 roar ! That is who we are ,keeping things in Harmony 🎶🎵
I discovered I was an introvert several years ago when my Pastor shared the quiz 16Personalities. As a nurse I could never figure out why I was so drained at the end of the day. Not the way you’d think. Yes I was tired from the physical work (which I am now paying for I might add) but it was if I was an overinflated balloon that someone finally let the air out of. I would get to my car and I wouldn’t even have the mental capacity to put the key in the ignition. I had to sit in my car for a few minutes and just BE. To me, being an introvert was an anathema. But after taking the quiz it was amazing what I learned about myself. Recently I was thinking about my oldest sister who was diagnosed with ADHD when she was probably in her 60’s. All those years ago people didn’t know about that or if they did they weren’t talking. I began to think about my life and I wondered if she had ADHD could I also since we shared much of the same tendencies. I went online and found out that yes I possibly have ADHD with inattentive presentation. And I thought about my son and grandson and realized they too could have the same issues. While I am not bouncing off the walls the hyperactivity can manifest itself by constantly doing something while supposedly being quiet such as shaking a leg, twirling hair etc. Which explains why I always had trouble concentrating, formulating thoughts (as Susan mentioned the class would be over before I could formulate and share an idea). Right now my son is grilling dinner and all I can think of I wish he could finish up and turn his music down which is loud enough to rattle my brain. Soon, I hope!!
I know from experience how many people who are not really competent to do their jobs skate under the radar under the guise of "group efforts". At work I see 2-3 people doing one person jobs and they take much longer to accomplish the task than what it would take to do it solo.
Of course there are times when we need to collaborate and bring in different skillsets and knowledge bases, but too much I see people doing things in a group just to live up to the ideal of it.
I hate spontaneous groupings largely because it wastes time with so much hand-wringing and bullshit. Nothing gets done. Highly inefficient.
I agree with you on that. :)
"Turn to the person sitting beside you and take a few minutes to discuss..." 😨
I
I'm reading your book, "Quiet," currently, and, while I've known for years that I'm an introvert, the book has helped me to see how much more introverted I actually am and it has also helped explain things that happened to me in my early childhood. For example, my mother always told me I was a "colicy baby," so, when I read what you wrote about "high-reactive" children, I knew that I had definitely been one and I've been able to recognize this in myself even later on in my adult life. That said, I have since learned how to cultivate a more or less ambiverted mode. I am sometimes mistaken for being an extrovert, but this only happens when I'm around people who share common interests with me. Otherwise, I'm mostly spending my time alone. In fact, if I'm invited to a party at which there is no one I know and the people there don't seem to share anything in common with me, I will eventually wind up by myself, thinking about what I'm going to do when I get home. Explains why no one has invited me to a party in years, huh? Solitude is a large part of my life. I'm a street photographer, among other things, but even in a crowded urban area, I become lost in the crowd, alone in my head, and this is when I feel "in the zone," in which I create my best images. Sometimes, it helps if I take my MP3 player with me, loaded with instrumental music (mostly jazz), as this helps me to further screen out the people around me. In my photos, the people in my scenes are only props, mostly silhouettes, who are only there to complete the scenes by lendng the human element. Oddly enough, the people watching me work think I'm an "undercover cop" doing photosurveillance. Part of the reason for listening to music is to drown out their chatter about who they think I am and what they think I'm doing.
Hmmmmm
This lady wrote a very inciteful book into the introvert mind, thought, and life, titled "Quiet". A truly fantastic read
Ha ha I love how she starts off by mocking group work. It's just so assumed that getting together in groups is the best way to do things. It's become the normal way of doing something and no one expects it to be questioned. Even though we all hate it and realize that it is a waste.
I loved church camp but I never participated in our "energizers" or cheers I zoned out and waited for it to end.
Are you a musician?
@@rashedulkabir6227 yup. Guitarist and ISFP
great truths here; especially that group dynamics[ politics; ruin the best of internal creative thinking
This reminds me of getting a fun job at Skip the Dishes. The open concept office space was really distracting and i could not focus. My tasks never could be successfully completed and it resulted in me getting yelled at publicly and demoted. I moved to about 3 different positions(9mths) and i just left to go back into delivering as a Skip courier.
Actually I don’t give a damn what extroverts think about me ( I am an Introvert) and other introverts understand so I don’t have to explain that I am NOT angry! I am shy to some degree but not like I was as a child ! I found to my surprise and delight no one was looking at me and judging me ! Although for some unknown reason there are people with whom that old shyness comes out of hiding ! I grit my teeth and fight that old shyness right back into hiding! BUT don’t misunderstand I like people as a rule ,I have found humanity for most part are really nice! Love❤️ and Blessing 😇 to each and everyone of you wherever you are on this Beautiful Planet ! From Arizona U S A 🇺🇸 with Love ❤️
The problem with this world is the extrovert... extrovert always want introvert to change.. while the introverts are kind people... we dont ask extrovert to change.. we accept them for what they are.. in fact we empower them when they r down... but extroverts people are mean... they insult the introverts all the time.. it makes us feel demotivated... extroverts are horrrible people
Most extroverts aren’t really deep thinkers and operate life on a shallow level. If you don’t stimulate their egos, they aren’t gonna care about you. They’re gonna see you more as a means to an end rather than a real human. Horrible people, I don’t think so. But self centered yes.
I discovered a world for that : Asstrovert
@@abishaicampbell2187yall both sounds miserable tbh. shitty even. to generalize an entire group of people is wild.
The moment you started talking about what is in your suitcase, you started with the extroverts... and the moment you moved to the introvert suitcase i expected examples. But you came that we were guarded about what was in it.... that hurt... its true :(
There are not many people that actually understand when you try to convey something. Even the professionals say we are overthinking. Friends , partner or family say we are projecting our feelings into reality and that we are way in our heads, when we know our intuition is not wrong. I literally stopped expressing my feelings because i am tired of being told that - it’s all in my head. I am much more content with keeping things for myself instead of trying to explain it to someone or to get an answer for something
Totally get it. So does Jesus (the one who can create a speck of dust & and alot more! I get treated w/ total dissrespect. But.... can i be that stupid??? No, not possible... we vmfa 232 "Red devils", had the most fighter ready fighter jet squadron in the world in 78 & why deployed to Kuang Ju Korea, say " I wouldent do that if I we're you!
I am full of admiration for you for the remarkable insight you give me. I was born a poet, became a lawyer so O! I know the woe. However one comment I must say is, that I wish you had put up JK Rowlings photo up there. These men are extremely admirable but we women need to be conscious how we women are being overlooked. Thank you
I'm an extreme introvert. I think us introverts can be resourceful because if I need recharge time I will find anyway...even sneaking off to a bathroom for a few minutes.
Me (a barista in a coffee shop): "Hi! What can I get for you two?"
Kim: "I'll just have a-"
Susan: "Hi. That's Kim. And I'm Susam. Kim will just have a medium black coffee. And I'll have a frozen peppermint mocha with lots of whipped cream. Don't mind Kim. She's a 'recovering introvert'."
Me: "So, tell me, Kim, how does it feel to know that your friend, here, thinks there's something wrong with you?"
Kim: "I hate it. She does it all the time."
Susan: (gasps) "Me? I don't think that! Why would you say that?"
Kim: "It's like I'm your 'project', a paper doll for you to make into your own image. Why can't I just be my own person? What's wrong with being an introvert?"
And that's how I got a $10 tip from Kim for a cup of black coffee.
I'm an INTJ. It works fine for me. I have big plans and long term goals that involve changing the world. (ha ha ha). Since I'm interested in health and longevity, I plan to be around a long time to implement the long term goals, or watch other people realize this is the way we need to go. Getting rid of the, lawyer inspired and enabled, non-scientific, "evidence-based" medicine paradigm is first on my list. It looks like it is happening. But getting the public on board and embracing the new paradigm (bioenergy measuring and enhancement, among other things) is going to be challenging and slow.
I had a partner in math class and teacher said to get to know each other. To me that just meant to introduce myself. Like my name. My partner it meant to give his life story. Longest 5-10 min when I just wanted to learn how to do math. Extroverts just drain me so much. They talk too much and act like I should be interested in what they have to say. I am not. I just want quiet 🤫
🤣🤣🤣 The struggle is real
I’m an introvert and a Leo🤦🏻♀️ I want to share this whenever I get a chance. I’m tired of being labeled as “quiet, boring, and inexperienced”.
Better being stamped "boring, quiet & shy" than having stupid, silly & nonsense conversations with extroverts. Society sucks, in terms of lemmings behaviour. Just be yourself - and happy. It's not important, what others (might) think about you...
Chin up, darling. A fellow introvert could enjoy a neat gift in your company; feeling relatively "extroverted" by your thoughtful presence. Assuming that like the rest of us introverts you only speak when your thoughts make it past your internal quality controls. So, you only say what is well-considered.
Let the people talk. You know who you are and why you do something or how you react to something, that's the important thing. I find it too tedious and not absolutely necessary to convince others to understand you and your behavior, a pure waste of time, so to speak.
SAYING NOTHING often means more than SAYING TOO MUCH. Most of the time one goes around in circles and discuss things to death. That makes no sense.
I've been through enough meetings where the talk was just for the talk because many can't stand the silence and feel like they need to talk. I like to watch colleagues who constantly do their duet to make themselves feel important. Sometimes I grinned inwardly because I didn't necessarily find everything constructive. What I don't like is the false and fake friendliness und fake kindness.
An introvert Leo now that's beautiful
Most people are boring
This was really helpful. I’m an introvert
The biggest problem I am facing as introvert is in making friends/ network.
4th of July party was fun but I was tired as I left. I was with my band talking and being goofy but I felt tired af after wards
I've heard that "type A" personalities get energized/stimulated from being around other people, whereas "type B" get drained. I'm definitely a type B. Though I have to say, though I usually am totally drained from most social situations, there _have_ been a few times where things actually didn't turn out so bad, where, at the end of it actually felt somewhat stimulated, where I almost had an inexplicable need/desire to want it to continue, and although felt a certain relief from finally being out of it, kind of missed it and felt depressed in some way by having come to an end. It's weird. Like some sort of inner paradox.
I miss you like crazy
the audience is perplexed bc this goes against the grain of everything that they have learned and practiced in their careers. However, in the engineering group I worked in; the most highly effective engineer was the promoted to highest level an engineer can attain because of his contributions to the organization throughout his career. As a result, he was promoted to a level of management leading of all R & D and current product design and testing. And that is quite an undertaking because we had 456 engineering personnel onsite .
I would have glady sat down and helped you read your suitcase full of books.
I think I am introverted person, and I wonder why extroverts hates introverts? We just don't have extra energy like them. And we like to talk when its necessary. Introverts prefer to do things more than talking.
Maybe they just don't understand us, or think because we are quieter, we are analysing them.
@@gillianbergh7002 yeah extroverts think that introverts are judgemental. And to be honest introverts are analysing the others more than extroverts, but not for judging purposes. We are just more curious and less excited than extroverts.
They suck all of our energy out.... 😫
I'm an introvert, the INFJ type and the video describes me well.
I am introvert and I think this one of the reasons that I am not getting a job.
I hear and see Phoebe Buffay mannerisms.
That "ssss" in the start, i felt that
INTROVERTS LIVES MATTER!! Except we have to form a group and wreak havoc, so,,,
Some personalities are more equal than others.
Extroverts don't listen very well
I am a introvert..I have no problem to speak my mind sometimes I even feel pleased been vocal...as long the conversation it's helpful heave meaning and always deep and philosophical...o am unable to enjoy simple casual every day little things....deep and philosophical conversations are serious and gloomy..I envy extroverts
She sounds like Lisa Kudrow
amazing
and the subtitles?????
Yep, group think, the most destructive and non-scientific human dynamic. Good for profits though.
joe schmo Not good for profits. Good for managers. It makes them feel like they have done something good by having meetings.
It's how we got the shitty Internet we have now.
My voice cracks when I present. I am going to try toastmasters
if i was the speaker... id be like... long pause.. not say anything and stare at them all.. and make sure to say.... i love you... because you are in a room full of special covert persons. im one of them too 😉
Power to the nerds!
That we are highly misunderstood and seen as proud but in reality we are not
Okay your whole family would sit around reading together. So now you sit around texting each other?
17:45
I've known that I am an introvert since I was 8 years old. Susan Cain makes a very good argument, but I think she is wasting her time trying to change things. IMHO the status quo in Western society is too established, and the extroverts will always rule the roost. I have experienced this recently in my work and can't see it changing any time soon. Of course, I hope that I'm wrong.
I think it’s just mainly due to the fact that extroverts tend to be more assertive than introverts, thus they are more likely and feel more inclined to implement and impose their values and beliefs on others and to the world as a whole. Introverts are more reserved type, of course we can be social, but I don’t necessarily believe we feel as naturally inclined to impose our values and beliefs (such as beliefs relating to how a system should function in a work environment) on others and the world. Our ideas get drowned out by those of the extroverts because they are louder and more willing to fight for people to adopt their beliefs, they overpower the ideas of introverts due to their natural tendency to be assertive. That’s my theory as to why society is extrovert dominant, but I could be wrong. I’m not saying introverts are shy people or can’t be assertive or confident, I’m just saying based off my personal experiences and observations of people and society, that extroverts are generally more assertive.
Susan Cain, there is no way there will be a general embracing of both introverts and extroverts in the workplace since the large part of western capitalism involves selling stuff (even stuff that isn't material). The Zuckerberg example is a remarkable exception that is not applicable in general situations. INTJ Zuckerberg is realizing his goal to change the world. Not sure how much he is actually improving quality of life for people. But he sure is wealthy.
Ah man, now I can’t unhear and unsee it!
Hi Susan. I spent alot of years extroverted. Then all hell broke loose. I spent 20 and hard earned dollars and ( 20 years) of service with no appricition. Introverts , Gostics freethinking, it seems it's popular for these adults that were in diapers and I was a pot head teen in the 80s. Some of these help groups threaten people with superstitions thinking if they see the beauty around and everybody keeping score of others. But if I'm alone too long I will get into depression. During a project depression will pull me down. I used to love to be alone. Thank you. Bob
Its not any longer whos the loudest, but whos the most ridiculous at it...that is true, since people fall for charisma...and its also true that people always pick on a scapegoat, to get their level even higher...HUH
I'm quietly doing my job, but I totally love teaching a class. I'm introvert and extrovert depending on the circumstance.
Moses and Jesus were/are a man whom God talked with and instructed and
God's only begotten (of woman) Son. "Ms." Cain steps over the line
with her concept that this man and this God/man can in any way be
grouped with puny men.
You clearly have never read a bible. If you can read the Bible clearly shows that God has no image or form, and that no man pays for another man's sins. The distortion of Jesus into God's son is a straight up lie made up by people. I don't know how anyone can read the Old Testament and then the made up New Testament and beleive in the lie of Jesus who most likely never exist. God hates idols and Christianity is a perverse form of idol worship based on the Mithras myth.
Simple test:
The world is flat and stationary.
Guess what. As an extrovert you will not find the truth. As extrovert you will align with the opinion of the person you like. Sorry, the world is really flat and as the extrovert you cannot convince the introvert of the truth. So you miss the truth and piss your life away. Sorry again.
If introverts have problems concentrating with noise and activity around them they need more practice focusing and disciplining themselves. They don't need to pay attention to a bunch of external stuff that's none of their business.
The Saalome Peace Meditation:
Saalome gam naan ben uurda, gan njjber asaala hesporoona!
Friede sei auf der Erde, und unter allen Geschöpfen!
Peace be on earth, and among all creatures!
¡Paz en la tierra y entre todas las criaturas!
Que la paix soit sur la terre et parmi toutes les créatures !
Fred være på jorden og blandt alle skabninger!
Que a paz esteja na terra, e entre todas as criaturas!
Ειρήνη στη γη και σε όλα τα πλάσματα!
Да будет мир на земле и между всеми существами!
Мир на землі та між усіма створіннями!
Degree from Harvard and Princeton. Impressive
Why is she not mentioning AMBIVERTS? Most people are somewhere in d middle.
Don' t know why people keep saying so many extroverts exist. I have met so very many from d west.
I could only imagine how she looks like when she was a bit younger :D
carlo andrade introverts will look beautiful always but success is difficult for them.
That's what you got out of this well-researched talk?
At work my boss don't bother me with meetings beacause they are pointless, she just give me a task or a problem to solve and I will figure it out in silence, no pointless talking for a sake of it, if I have some question I will ask and if someone have a meaningful advice I will take it, at previous job we had this frigtening guy called anmator, he just randomly took people away from their work and come up with some stipid games that usually squisched workers together in different combinations, it was awful, he supposed to energise people, but all he did was to sap my energy away.
Extroverts do require intense constant stimulation. I think they are numb or calloused or something
when I m drunk i am extravert
Someone tried to sabotage your presentation!!🤔
am i the only one or she realy sounds like phoebe and acts like her
Learning from an “introvert” who makes a living talking to large crowds for money 🤦🏻♂️
As far as aping other people's opinions maybe less and less so as you mature
As crestons wife she is wrong about a few things isolation workaholic isolated in their work or mark from fb he's not an introvert he is stoic I had a friend and a Dr who was stoic they rarely smile they are so no personality I'm an introvert that's not an introvert the designer isolated in his work I'm an introvert we smile more we are not stoic like mark of fb we don't live in isolation like that designer for months at a time that has nothing to do with being an introvert but she's right we love our alone quiet time and we like a different environment we don't like large crowds of people talking to us or a large gatherings during that time if we go we will be like can't wait till this is over talking to one person ignoring the crowd and we perfer book stores libraries not bars or nightclubs we don't like what the life of the party does we don't enjoy that and introverts have more of a personality and we smile more look at mark in a cbs interview with his wife he's a complete stoic no smile no personality whatsoever that's not us introverts we may be quite but we smile and we do have a personality stoic people never have that like that friend I had the Dr I had just like mark from fb we are nothing like mark or that designer but she had alot right except those two things
Whoever uploaded this should have edited this, and removed the interrupts and parts where she had technical problems. The're very distracting.
I found it interesting to see how she, as an introvert, dealt with these situations especially being on the spot in front of so many people.
How can a living being repeat same thing over and over again?
rvtj40 I often think that about Susan too but I realise that to get the message across she has to repeat herself. And as an introvert, it was probably easier for her to memorise and repeat the same speech over and over to get more comfortable and more able to spread this important information.
o yea lol
Oh, I don't have a work life or personal relationships. So I guess this video isn't for me. Bye.
Thats okay. Do your thing!
extroverts stop stealing ideas from introverts!!!!