I was just talking to someone about listening to sad music and how it can help deal with emotions. It let’s you know you’re not the only one who went through that.
I feel the most alive when listening to sad songs, I do chores better, I get creative...for so long I thought I was odd, my friends would never pick me to play music...but this, this talk makes me happy
I love Melancholic music, Rap, Rock, Instrumentals, occasional background stuff from some movie. It's just comforting it brings balance it confuses people but it brings me clarity.
I haven't realized Susan Cain until I noticed the recommended video about her talk "the power of introverts". Her choice of words is amazing as I remembered. I believe that any feeling that we feel has a tremendous message that waits for us to decode. There's light and darkness in our lives, what important is that we rely on our instincts and longing to guide us to the better world that we all deserve. Thank you for the talk, Susan!
Sad music, fulfills a longing, a desire, & helps us develop deep connections with a part of ourselves, through the music, whether it's a hope, a memory, a wish, a longing or something we care about deeply. Why do we find comfort in sad songs ----- It Stimulates the Release of Comforting Hormones. Among its numerous functions, prolactin is considered to modulate feelings of sadness by preparing the body to deal with traumatic events. It fends off overwhelming feelings of grief by enhancing calmness and, in some cases, even pleasure. Listening to and singing along sad songs provides a cathartic release which helps you process negative feelings in a healthier way, giving you at least temporary relief. A study found that sad songs help with reliving and processing feelings better before moving on.
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” - C.S Lewis
I am a writer who is interested in what motivates people and as soon as I saw the title, I felt it would be interesting to know why we (generally speaking) seem to be drawn to sad music, films, books, etc.. What I came away with was so much more. I will be watching this again because there is so much here that I need to process and so much waiting for me to hear. Thank you.
'We believe we come from a perfect world into a very imperfect one and we wish to come back'. It struck me. That's Paradise lost. That's Valinor in Tolkien's legendarium - also deeply rooted in European archetypes and myth. I didn't expect this concept to be that influential, yet it is ALWAYS there in our dreams, on that emotional level when we don't even know what we're longing for. Whoa.
Susan Cain is my idol. I read Quiet in 2021, and it was so good and taught me a lot! Before I read that book, I watched her TED talk about introversion. Therefore, I feel its only fitting to watch this before I read her new book Bittersweet (I have it next to me :))!
I find company and relaxation in sad songs and during rainy days because it makes me feel like im not actually alone to go through this AND when the music started at 10:30 i found myself in a lucid dream where i was dancing with my lover with a black silk dress on! I was more alive than ever, yes sad music awakens some souls ☀️"I am. A musician!" ☀️
@@roanaur7518 yes exactly, im a dreamer guess i have lived most of my life in my head, cuz ppl have always been mean to me, partners, friends, parents, teachers, i have longed for almost everything, parents' love, etc but that person always visits me whenever i feel down and i dance with him non stop
Wow. The best TedTalk that moved me to tears. The violin is my favorite instrument and when you played it I had to breathe deeply,. It felt like satisfying scratch to an itch I completely forgotten about. Your words were soothing and true. Really from the bottom of my heart….THANK YOU.
In front of us we see four seasons. We see the beauty of the rise and fall of a season. Think of the feelings you get in every season would you want to not experience them anymore. Her message is reminding us every feeling gives you an insight and a feeling. Learning to accept them all allows us to flourish to who we really are human souls.
"The place you suffer is the same place where you care desperately" - That's why love is so scary. The more you love something, the more power it has to hurt you.
That is so true. My best friends husband divorced her after 46 years and left her for another woman. She told me she cried for 2 years after that. My husband recently died and my family doctor made a comment about spouses dying frequently fairyclode to the loss of their mate. It scared me to death. A few weeks ago I had a heart attack and I was terrified. Afterwards I went to one of my doctors partners about cardiac rehab. I ended up bawling in his office and telling him about the comment I heard and said “I don’t want to die!” Oh I know it’s going to happen sometime but I only have one child and I don’t know if he can take the loss of both of us back to back! My friend told me we have to grieve and we each have to do it our own way! The countdown has begun towards the one year mark. I long for it to be here so it can be over with but at the same time I don’t want it to be here at all.
14:23 Let me just put this time stamp here to remind myself that when the dark time comes, I have to figure out what I'm longing for (though I know now) and go for that choice when I can and must as it lies a head a better outcome.
I have so much joy and ecstasy while listening to some sad songs. But l think it's because I have a problem appreciating music. Now, thanks to Susan Cain, I know I'm not the only one, and actually my joy is something real.
Thank you so much for this! Your speech was transcendental (and a personal attack, which I'm here for!) and it brought me to tears. Some people don't understand the depth and beauty of melodramatic songs but such music is necessary for the imagination, to take us to that world we long for even for only a short time, because it strikes the chords inside us. To everyone who listens to mellow songs day and night, let's keep on dreaming. 🌙️
Another beautiful Talk by Susan…and a great book. She always does deep research and her elegant writing style has engaged the readers to the under spoken side of human psychology one more time.
I wish to hear more from Min Kym! Also after reading your story in Susan Cain's book, I admire your tenacity and vigour. Thanks TED for helping me found you these 2 talents.
I sometimes feel as though I am marooned on this beautifully imperfect island which we call Earth... for what reason? I do not know. But the sadness I feel inside is like a voice which keeps me grounded in the thought that, although I have forgotten it, I come from a place of cool breezes and beauty and light, where soft blue is the primary color... and it is to that place that I will once again return... and so will we all... and then JOY!!!!
"You absolutely don't have to believe in the deities of the ancient books to know that spiritual longing is real, and that humanity is steeped in the sublime" Beautiful.
Il Divo sang Adagio. Stunning. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to it! Unfortunately Carlos died from Covid. Heartbreaking! Interesting that I chose a career in nursing. And I’ve been miserable since having to retire. Such a great talk! “That inconsolable longing for we know not what!” Boy can I identify with that. I’ve been miserable my whole life and never knew why. It’s as if I’m in a place I don’t belong. And nothing I’ve done has helped me escape it. And like her I spend a lot more time listening to “funeral music” then I do happy. Don’t get me started listening to the theme from Schindler’s List. And invariably I start shedding tears! Maybe one day… P.S. I love your sapphire dress and (?) sapphire necklace. My birth stone. They say the 10 Commandments were actually written on stones of sapphire. Much classier than plain old rock like Charlton Heston carried!
Listening to sad music connects me to something much deeper and it soothes my soul. When I was in my early 30s a therapist told me I needed to stop listening to sad music because it was causing depression. For the next 30 years I avoided sad music and it turned out to be a very bad choice. Sad music inspires my creativity!
Wonderful talk, Susan! Thank you for your labors to make sense of the relationship between the sorrows and the sublime. Two striking thoughts... 1) Don't be afraid of the dark, even sorrow. 2) Music adds color to emotions, even the dark. Thanks again, Susan. You're a lovely soul.
My theory (and you're welcome to debate) : is that we welcome tragedy in the form of music and movies to prepare ourselves for the real one. Same thing with horror and danger. We simulate events in a manageable environment so that when it happens in reality, we are better prepared to face it
Thanks for a beautiful talk! Anyway, I'm not sure if pop culture is actually that onesided. I think, there has always been dark music, too. However, on parties a forced positivity is often dominant. I wish, sad music would be played more and not be talked down as a mood killer. One reason I didn't miss parties at all during the pandemic.
Yes, sad music validates - that's what I've always felt: especially for introverts perhaps Thanks a lot Susan Cain; bought your book about introversion a couple years ago and found it very informative and also insightful!
I think the Ethiopian nun Tsige Mariam Gebru's piano solo series entitled 'the homeless wanderer' can be a good example of what have been said above. ...... 'ረቂቋ ድምፅ ሆይ ውቢቷ ሙዚቃ ንጹሕ እንደ ጸሐይ ውብ እንደ ጨረቃ የጨዋታሽ ለዛ የድምጽሽ ፍሥሃ የመንፈስ አረቄ የነፍስ እህል ውኃ' .... An Amharic poem on music by Kebede Michael.
This was fascinating. Loved it. C.S Lewis also referred to this as joy. His wife's name was also Joy, strangely enough and she past away 5 Years after their marriage.
This is such a wonderfully touching video. As I am putting my comments way after you have aired it, I deeply and sincerely hope you to get to read my comment. You are indeed such an inspiration, I am floored by how similar your thoughts are to mine. God bless you
It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. -Ancient Hebrew Proverbs (Ecc. 7:2-4)
I absolutely devoured this talk and Bittersweet (the book). I'm looking for more literature or media on this. Can anybody recommend any further reading?
Thankful for your beautiful eloquent words. I hope to hear more in the future. Even the comments here are fresh inspiration. I am forced down yet I use my illusion and enjoy romanticism and comfort in longing. Your Ted talk was Perfection!!! 😍🥰💘💝🧡☕🍊🌞🌳🌹
Susan needs to get into emo. I recommend Brand New, Taking Back Sunday, Yellowcard, Osker (Idle Will Kill album). I have the same experiences when listening to my favourite emo bands/songs.
i can only write sad songs and its always confused people in my life how I always stated its the sad songs that make me happy - they figured i was just broken
For all of you here for the same reason, I ask, no implore you, to make your follow up to this video be a very specific one. Make the following search, it embodies everything she's shared with us here. "stupid deep acoustic Jon bellion" make sure it is the acoustic. I promise you that you won't regret it.
When we listening sad music then it will can help deal good mind with emotions. So, it let's you know what is beautiful sorrow music or song like that in your mind.
Wait I didn’t quite understand the part with the old man asking where his wife was? The cellist was ashamed that he asked that question of which was he and the reply was that he was a musician? Did I misunderstand? If someone could clarify for me that would be great. Thank you! :)
"The place you suffer is the same exact place where you care desperately." That distills things really poignantly 🥺
Poignant. I see what you did there.
I was just talking to someone about listening to sad music and how it can help deal with emotions. It let’s you know you’re not the only one who went through that.
Susan Cain is an such an amazing and inspiring lady.
"follow your longing where its telling you to go.and may it carry you straight to the beating heart of the perfect and beautiful world."
I feel the most alive when listening to sad songs, I do chores better, I get creative...for so long I thought I was odd, my friends would never pick me to play music...but this, this talk makes me happy
"The root of this urge is a spiritual one. A longing for an end to duality. A return to the state of wholeness." -Eckhart Tolle on romantic love
This is just Evangelion
@Talibland 00 Pop 0ppp0000000000
I love Melancholic music, Rap, Rock, Instrumentals, occasional background stuff from some movie. It's just comforting it brings balance it confuses people but it brings me clarity.
That's s why blues is my religion. Beautiful talk by a beautiful lady.
I haven't realized Susan Cain until I noticed the recommended video about her talk "the power of introverts". Her choice of words is amazing as I remembered. I believe that any feeling that we feel has a tremendous message that waits for us to decode. There's light and darkness in our lives, what important is that we rely on our instincts and longing to guide us to the better world that we all deserve.
Thank you for the talk, Susan!
Sad music, fulfills a longing, a desire, & helps us develop deep connections with a part of ourselves, through the music, whether it's a hope, a memory, a wish, a longing or something we care about deeply.
Why do we find comfort in sad songs -----
It Stimulates the Release of Comforting Hormones.
Among its numerous functions, prolactin is considered to modulate feelings of sadness by preparing the body to deal with traumatic events. It fends off overwhelming feelings of grief by enhancing calmness and, in some cases, even pleasure.
Listening to and singing along sad songs provides a cathartic release which helps you process negative feelings in a healthier way, giving you at least temporary relief. A study found that sad songs help with reliving and processing feelings better before moving on.
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
- C.S Lewis
That's brilliant!
Awesome quote. CS Kewis is brilliant
I am a writer who is interested in what motivates people and as soon as I saw the title, I felt it would be interesting to know why we (generally speaking) seem to be drawn to sad music, films, books, etc.. What I came away with was so much more. I will be watching this again because there is so much here that I need to process and so much waiting for me to hear. Thank you.
As an artist who makes a lot of music for sad days, I feel so relieved listening to this talk
Sad/reflective/introspective music is the best kind of music :)
'We believe we come from a perfect world into a very imperfect one and we wish to come back'. It struck me.
That's Paradise lost. That's Valinor in Tolkien's legendarium - also deeply rooted in European archetypes and myth. I didn't expect this concept to be that influential, yet it is ALWAYS there in our dreams, on that emotional level when we don't even know what we're longing for. Whoa.
Susan Cain is my idol. I read Quiet in 2021, and it was so good and taught me a lot! Before I read that book, I watched her TED talk about introversion. Therefore, I feel its only fitting to watch this before I read her new book Bittersweet (I have it next to me :))!
I find company and relaxation in sad songs and during rainy days because it makes me feel like im not actually alone to go through this
AND when the music started at 10:30 i found myself in a lucid dream where i was dancing with my lover with a black silk dress on! I was more alive than ever, yes sad music awakens some souls
☀️"I am. A musician!" ☀️
What do you mean you found yourself in a lucid dream? While watching this video?
@@roanaur7518 yes exactly, im a dreamer guess i have lived most of my life in my head, cuz ppl have always been mean to me, partners, friends, parents, teachers, i have longed for almost everything, parents' love, etc but that person always visits me whenever i feel down and i dance with him non stop
Chris Young- Getting you Home? Lol
Wow. The best TedTalk that moved me to tears. The violin is my favorite instrument and when you played it I had to breathe deeply,. It felt like satisfying scratch to an itch I completely forgotten about. Your words were soothing and true. Really from the bottom of my heart….THANK YOU.
In front of us we see four seasons. We see the beauty of the rise and fall of a season. Think of the feelings you get in every season would you want to not experience them anymore. Her message is reminding us every feeling gives you an insight and a feeling. Learning to accept them all allows us to flourish to who we really are human souls.
"The place you suffer is the same place where you care desperately" - That's why love is so scary. The more you love something, the more power it has to hurt you.
I think you don't have to care desperately. You can care sincerely, from a solid foundation of who you are.
That is so true. My best friends husband divorced her after 46 years and left her for another woman. She told me she cried for 2 years after that. My husband recently died and my family doctor made a comment about spouses dying frequently fairyclode to the loss of their mate. It scared me to death. A few weeks ago I had a heart attack and I was terrified. Afterwards I went to one of my doctors partners about cardiac rehab. I ended up bawling in his office and telling him about the comment I heard and said “I don’t want to die!” Oh I know it’s going to happen sometime but I only have one child and I don’t know if he can take the loss of both of us back to back! My friend told me we have to grieve and we each have to do it our own way! The countdown has begun towards the one year mark. I long for it to be here so it can be over with but at the same time I don’t want it to be here at all.
What a beautiful soul, helping us all find our beauty ❤ I am reading her book “Bittersweet” and it is helping me tremendously 🙏
14:23 Let me just put this time stamp here to remind myself that when the dark time comes, I have to figure out what I'm longing for (though I know now) and go for that choice when I can and must as it lies a head a better outcome.
❤
I have so much joy and ecstasy while listening to some sad songs. But l think it's because I have a problem appreciating music. Now, thanks to Susan Cain, I know I'm not the only one, and actually my joy is something real.
Thank you so much for this! Your speech was transcendental (and a personal attack, which I'm here for!) and it brought me to tears. Some people don't understand the depth and beauty of melodramatic songs but such music is necessary for the imagination, to take us to that world we long for even for only a short time, because it strikes the chords inside us. To everyone who listens to mellow songs day and night, let's keep on dreaming. 🌙️
Another beautiful Talk by Susan…and a great book. She always does deep research and her elegant writing style has engaged the readers to the under spoken side of human psychology one more time.
I wish to hear more from Min Kym! Also after reading your story in Susan Cain's book, I admire your tenacity and vigour. Thanks TED for helping me found you these 2 talents.
I sometimes feel as though I am marooned on this beautifully imperfect island which we call Earth... for what reason? I do not know. But the sadness I feel inside is like a voice which keeps me grounded in the thought that, although I have forgotten it, I come from a place of cool breezes and beauty and light, where soft blue is the primary color... and it is to that place that I will once again return... and so will we all... and then JOY!!!!
Thx for being my introvert champion .
This presentation had me weeping uncontrollably . This is the amazing truth in all its rawness. Thank you.
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What are you longing for ?
"You absolutely don't have to believe in the deities of the ancient books to know that spiritual longing is real, and that humanity is steeped in the sublime"
Beautiful.
Il Divo sang Adagio. Stunning. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to it! Unfortunately Carlos died from Covid. Heartbreaking! Interesting that I chose a career in nursing. And I’ve been miserable since having to retire. Such a great talk!
“That inconsolable longing for we know not what!”
Boy can I identify with that. I’ve been miserable my whole life and never knew why. It’s as if I’m in a place I don’t belong. And nothing I’ve done has helped me escape it. And like her I spend a lot more time listening to “funeral music” then I do happy. Don’t get me started listening to the theme from Schindler’s List. And invariably I start shedding tears! Maybe one day…
P.S. I love your sapphire dress and (?) sapphire necklace. My birth stone. They say the 10 Commandments were actually written on stones of sapphire. Much classier than plain old rock like Charlton Heston carried!
Listening to sad music connects me to something much deeper and it soothes my soul. When I was in my early 30s a therapist told me I needed to stop listening to sad music because it was causing depression. For the next 30 years I avoided sad music and it turned out to be a very bad choice. Sad music inspires my creativity!
Wonderful talk, Susan!
Thank you for your labors to make sense of the relationship between the sorrows and the sublime.
Two striking thoughts...
1) Don't be afraid of the dark, even sorrow.
2) Music adds color to emotions, even the dark.
Thanks again, Susan. You're a lovely soul.
About time we get REAL talks back
Wow, I think this is my favorite TED Talk ever.
Everyone felt the place that music took you to. It transcends !
I have seen this video. so many times, I still can watch it a dozen more times
I also wandered why we love sad songs. Now I think I started to understand it.
I’m thinking of Elton Johns popular song “ Sad Songs”.
My theory (and you're welcome to debate) : is that we welcome tragedy in the form of music and movies to prepare ourselves for the real one. Same thing with horror and danger. We simulate events in a manageable environment so that when it happens in reality, we are better prepared to face it
Adagio moves me all the time. I agree with your statements about the effects of romantic music on us, Susan
Honestly Everytime it's raining I don't know why it makes me very happy than a sunny day.
Same here!! Rainy days are the best :)
Also I love your name! It sounds beautiful.
Thanks for a beautiful talk!
Anyway, I'm not sure if pop culture is actually that onesided. I think, there has always been dark music, too.
However, on parties a forced positivity is often dominant. I wish, sad music would be played more and not be talked down as a mood killer. One reason I didn't miss parties at all during the pandemic.
Totally agree
I love Susan books ❤️
I am currently listening to some melancholic music. It hits deep within. It makes me happy :)
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It's raining here right now at the Philippines.
It's why I love First Aid Kit Band and many other folk artists.
Now I understand why I love listening to Sleeping at Last, reading Iain S. Thomas, and watching Harold and Maude. 🤔
Vanity everything under the ⛅ is vanity!!
Yes, sad music validates - that's what I've always felt: especially for introverts perhaps
Thanks a lot Susan Cain; bought your book about introversion a couple years ago and found it very informative and also insightful!
When I'm driving and stop at a light, people play their music loud, but sometimes a sad song is played and I connect
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Susan i am asking you to became my friend.
I think the Ethiopian nun Tsige Mariam Gebru's piano solo series entitled 'the homeless wanderer' can be a good example of what have been said above.
......
'ረቂቋ ድምፅ ሆይ ውቢቷ ሙዚቃ
ንጹሕ እንደ ጸሐይ ውብ እንደ ጨረቃ
የጨዋታሽ ለዛ የድምጽሽ ፍሥሃ
የመንፈስ አረቄ የነፍስ እህል ውኃ'
....
An Amharic poem on music by Kebede Michael.
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This was fascinating. Loved it. C.S Lewis also referred to this as joy. His wife's name was also Joy, strangely enough and she past away 5 Years after their marriage.
I also find sad music uplifting❤️
Bravo! Best TED talk I have seen in years.
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Thank you susan for that good testimonal, that's good empowerment to me.
Very powerful thank U and God bless U
This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
I've always loved sad music and rainy days. Yes, I'm an introvert.
Susan Cain always makes me listen closely
So grateful for your talk.. thank you…
They exacerbate my issues yet I don’t stop listening. 🥺
This is such a wonderfully touching video. As I am putting my comments way after you have aired it, I deeply and sincerely hope you to get to read my comment. You are indeed such an inspiration, I am floored by how similar your thoughts are to mine. God bless you
Wow what a beautiful ted talk
Thank you! I needed to hear that.
It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
-Ancient Hebrew Proverbs (Ecc. 7:2-4)
I absolutely devoured this talk and Bittersweet (the book). I'm looking for more literature or media on this. Can anybody recommend any further reading?
Very good talk and interesting.
In my early age with all havings I attracted to indian sad songs.
Those songs inspire me even today.
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just wow. Profound
Thank you!
Thankful for your beautiful eloquent words. I hope to hear more in the future. Even the comments here are fresh inspiration. I am forced down yet I use my illusion and enjoy romanticism and comfort in longing. Your Ted talk was Perfection!!! 😍🥰💘💝🧡☕🍊🌞🌳🌹
Latest book ‘bittersweet’ is great.
thank you
Susan needs to get into emo. I recommend Brand New, Taking Back Sunday, Yellowcard, Osker (Idle Will Kill album). I have the same experiences when listening to my favourite emo bands/songs.
i can only write sad songs and its always confused people in my life how I always stated its the sad songs that make me happy - they figured i was just broken
You may have defined the allure of the best of gothic music.
The world is full of opposites, of yins and yangs, and those experiences make our humanity possible.
I actually have sad songs Playlist that I love of sad songs I want played at my last moments.
Beautiful.
Angie, Angie
When will those clouds all disappear?
Angie, Angie
Where will it lead us from here?
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Powerful Ted Talk worth listening twice
For all of you here for the same reason, I ask, no implore you, to make your follow up to this video be a very specific one. Make the following search, it embodies everything she's shared with us here. "stupid deep acoustic Jon bellion" make sure it is the acoustic. I promise you that you won't regret it.
I like her dress
Speecheless
When we listening sad music then it will can help deal good mind with emotions. So, it let's you know what is beautiful sorrow music or song like that in your mind.
And there you pointed out thoughts that I have been struggling to spell out.
sad song them are wonderful in my eyes, because they have colorful written their life. rather than me have just have color transparent.
Just wow 🧡
Wait I didn’t quite understand the part with the old man asking where his wife was? The cellist was ashamed that he asked that question of which was he and the reply was that he was a musician? Did I misunderstand? If someone could clarify for me that would be great. Thank you! :)
Where I live it rains so much that it just floods.
❤❤
2022 06 17. our broken heart help to connect us = Longing🙂
*watchin*
Paradox of pleasurable sadness
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I May Not Be There Yet, But I’m Loser Than I Was Yesterday.
WOW
Very impressive
Also, can you miss someone you have never met or do not even know the existence of?
Yes I have had dreams of that person through out my life.
Does anyone know if the poem her husband quoted a like from has been published? I’d like to read it.
Literally was listening to radiohead-motion picture soundtrack lol
nice
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8:38 IS THAT GORDON RAMSAY ?
❤️❤️❤️