Thank you for watching! ❤️ Which conversation habit you find rude? And if you want to find out How To Deal With Rudeness In An Elegant Way, then watch this video: th-cam.com/video/LCA1cBaB4KI/w-d-xo.html
That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves. My boss does this to me all the time...she will ask me a question about something and I’ll start responding and she’ll cut me off...
@@eggegg8181 yes! Why did they even ask, except to tell their own story?! The only person who is allowed to do this is my grandpa because he always says cool, quality stuff I can learn from. 😂
When someone asks mw something, I answer, and after a while maybe that day or another that same person asks me the very same question cause he/she didn't pay attention at first and just asked to seem concerned.
Just try not to put much comments and try to find something interesting in the conversation and tell them it reminds u of something and start discussing stuff together
Anna Bey has really made me enjoy being a woman and leaning into my femininity. In a strange way, focusing on being feminine & elegant has helped me to manage the stress of this pandemic.
This is exactly how my journey is going as well! I became interested in femininity and elegance right before the start of the pendamic. Engaging and practising this subject really helped me manage my stress levels, and kept me occupied while learning something valuable!
I know, me too! It has helped me feel productive - like I used this time for personal development and to become more polished. Like being a butterfly LOL
Key take-home - be an active listener. Respect the other person enough to allow them time to speak and ACTUALLY listen to what they have to say, and take an interest. You will more often than not, learn something new.
Please, are they worth your precious time and energy? I have no respect or tolerance for someone that rambles on incessantly. Sometimes yawning is nothing about the other person it’s just that either you’re tired and you’re bored
@@sunshine2049 well that's when I would try and find out what they're most passionate about. People light up if you find out what makes them really excited. I guess I aim to bring that out in people when I meet them. Having said that, you are right about time and energy bring precious. Setting those boundaries is important, particularly when you already know if someone is an energy "vampire".
When it comes to how long you should talk: Stop after you have presented a new idea or perspective. Even if you only said 5 words. When you present new information then people want to respond to it. If you don't stop talking and let them respond then you're being rude. This is a sign that you only want to hear yourself speaking and no one else actually needs to be there for that. They will get bored and leave you.
This this this. People these days... Our attention span can really only handle one or two clauses at a time to convey a single point. Once the one sentence or point is finished, people believe it's their turn.
I have a memory of being in college and speaking to a girl in my class. Right in the middle of our conversation, she walked away from me. I remember feeling stunned at her rudeness. I also self-reflected, thinking that maybe I said something offensive, but no, I was just asking if she liked the course so far. Rude!
My old boss was just like that. Did exactly the same to me in the middle of me talking to him in front of a big group. Totally socially unaware and inept 🤦
At a party, I would like tips on how to when appropriate politely disengage from a conversation with one person so as to continue to mingle among all the party guests.
After 10 minutes (give or take) simply excuse yourself to allow conversation with others. Most people won’t take it personally and appreciate your polite exit
My ex use to "monologue" all the time, especially when I was trying to have a serious conversations with him. It was just one of the many reasons why I broke up with him. Yes extremely frustrating.
@@cityfairy6342 Women aren’t rehabilitation centers or substitute parents for adults. I see many red flags in OP’s comment. He wouldn’t have responded well to criticism. It is not on OP to make him into a better human.
@@hotjanuary I understand. What I meant is that it's always adult-like to communicate what bothers you in the other person, even without the intention of making them a good person.
@@cityfairy6342 I bet she’s tried many times before finally giving up. Women are socially conditioned to coMmuNiCate and try to fix things, giving endless amount of chances, instead of putting up hard boundaries of cutting people loose after they do it again when you told them you don’t like it.
@@hotjanuary yes, women by nature lean more towards maintaining relationships and nurturing them, which in my opinion is not a bad quality to have. This quality, however, should not come between a woman and her dignity and self-respect.
@@vinvinsubs there are people out there who will call themselves very elite class and very affluent people just because of the cast or money.... But their habbits and character say opposite. They are jealous, and insecure because of which they hurt other people and they also get happy if another person is suffering certain way. That's what I meant.
I am a man but I watch your every single video. You are so intelligent and you have some kind of heartwarming brightness around you. I wish you all the best.
Another one: don't interrupt. I do it all the time and I feel terrible, sometimes I really can't help it, but I know it is rude and I instantly feel bad. I just never know when can I start talking, sometimes it is difficult when everyone has something to say. So I do it but I hate myself for doing it. So don't do it, ladies.
I understand you, because I have been there. That's what I did too improve: Try speaking much less and don't fear looking boring because of it. On the opposite, it will make you look much more interesting. You can notice that in the movie "The Tourist"- Angelina Jolie is barelly speaking and yet she is hipnotising. Also, try asking more questions instead of giving opinions and telling your stories. That's how people realize you are actually listening to them. I hope it helped you! And I'm sorry for my english, I'm still learning
wow! that is ME as well Lu! I get so excited sometimes to get my point across and don't want to lose my train of thought or momentum and wind up interrupting the other person! I keep trying to be more aware of this yet i keep doing it!!
I do this too, unfortunately. I forget things very easily when talking to someone, especially when it's a person who rarely ever stops to take a moment to catch their breath when talking about themselves, so I have a bad habit of jumping in so I can have a turn to speak and not forget what I have to say. In reality, it's okay to forget and it's more important to listen to what the other person has to say. My grandmother would forget things and remember them much later in the conversation. Hope this helps!
It is also important to remember there are very mean nasty jealous people out there who actually do all of these things to bring you down. See it,realize it and keep your distance from them. Not everything is a accident.
For those who monologue away due to a worry that they need to keep the conversation "interesting" - you are not 100% responsible for the flow of the conversation. These words from a wise person I know have changed my life! Well, are still changing it! Thank you Anna, I have still a lot to learn from you!
Pet peeve: Demonstrating to me that your phone is more important to you than I am. If that's the case, then don't waste my time to begin with. I don't want to play second fiddle to your phone.
I hate that too! Especially when they stop listening at all and interupt me in the middle of a sentence to tell me something they just saw on facebook...
I wondered why people have to always have their phone in their hand? ...even visiting someone in their home,..it just seems rude and unnecessary ..people did have lives before smart phones.
Great video! With the fear of sounding like an old spinster, I also consider couples, who are either my guests, or hosts, who are kissing each other in front of others, as being rude. Especially in the middle of a conversation..
Yes, I know some couples like that. When they are out with other friends, they act as if no one else is present around them and go smooching. Very silly and rude! Not surprisingly, I don’t miss them at all these days
I have ADHD, and I work extremely hard to make sure that I actively listen, engage, and remember what others are saying without interrupting. I also try to say interesting things, and if someone's body language or facial expressions begin to signal boredom, I immediately switch topics. Needless to say, if someone displays the rude behaviors listed here to me-especially a person who is not neurodivergent and does not need to work nearly as hard as I do-I choose to avoid that person in the future.
I am on the autism spectrum and I sometimes feel like I will never be able to fully master everything said in this video despite my best efforts :/ Sometimes it makes me a bit sad that people don’t even seem to try to be more understanding towards those who are neurodivergent, but that might be because those are often invisible conditions. But well, what can we do other than just trying our hardest and hoping that we’ll encounter some pleasant people? :)
At least you try. My ex-best friend has ADHD and instead of taking accountability for her social ineptitude, she would say I was too sensitive. She also is dating someone who went to jail for raping his ex, another ex has a restraining order against him, but she called me manipulative when I said if she didn't do a background check, I was out of the friendship. GoAlZ.
Thank you so much for saying this, I also have ADHD and I also have worked on actively changing those things. A young girl with ADHD made a tik tok about how she Just learned that it’s rude to tell a story about yourself in a similar predicament when someone wants to talk to you about an experience they had and I responded explaining why it’s not ok to do that and how to change that and the comments were filled with people saying “well I have ADHD it’s just the way my brain works, it’s not my fault” when yes you absolutely can change that, you just have to become aware of it and work at it. having ADHD doesn’t mean you’re physically unable to stop making things about you 😂😂😂 even after explaining i used to do the same thing, have ADHD and it’s absolutely possible to stop doing that with effort. I gave up and said well if that’s just who you are and don’t see an issue with it, keep doing it but don’t be surprised or have hurt feelings when no one wants to talk to you or avoids you at all costs
Thank you for sharing this. I teach students with special needs and I when I heard some of these suggestions, I thought about them. I take this information with a grain of salt. Do what works for you. People who WANT to understand will ❤️
Hi Anna, I’d love to see a video where you talk about how to dress elegantly in your early 20’s. I find it so difficult to dress elegant without looking old😭
For example, if you like the elegant midi skirt style, wear the midi skirt! I think the key is staying with classic colors or fun prints that look young (not grandma prints!), at least that's what works for me.
Honestly, nothing disappoints, and angers me more when someone keeps playing with their phone while we're having a conversation 😩 I have this problem with many of my friends, especially when we're watching a movie 😑 it's extremely disappointing 🤦
If you can, feel the person’s energy. I can absolutely feel it when someone is not listening, it can be subtle or a sudden shift. I can’t explain it, but I can feel it and sometimes their eyes don’t blink as much or their face is more stoic.
Exactly! Very obvious energy when someone is not listening. I used to just stop talking mid-sentence. I don't want to chit-chat just for the sake of making noises.
Yes we can often sense it, but look at it from their perspective. They would like to get out of the conversation but just don't know how. So they freeze up.
My fifth grade teacher would yell at us when we didn't cover our mouth when we would yawn. She would be like "no one wants to see the inside of your mouth!" 😂 from that day on I always covered my mouth
I find out that when I think somebody's talk isn't make sense with my belief & my life, I become bored. The solution I found is to pay attention to things I can learn from their stories and ask questions about things that can make me curious about them, in this way I stay passionate along the conversation.
I grew up in a family that never listened when I talked. They would interrupt me or “walk all over my words”. And even my friends would do the same. I never learned to stand up for myself and be heard unless I interrupted everyone or if they took a breath I jumped in just to be heard. I still do this and I know it’s rude but I feel so deeply about wanting to be heard I can’t help it. Help!!! My tiny voice gets lost in a crowd & I end up leaving the conversation and just eat the anger of never being heard.
I totally relate to this! I don't think interrupting is always rude, especially if no one listens to you. Sometimes you need to be assertive to gain respect. I find that once you just start talking about yourself more, people are forced to listen to you and they learn to treat you more equally. Don't apologise for this. Being too agreeable will only cause you to be treated like a doormat and can lead to you only attracting narcissistic people in the long run - this is dangerous! This is why I don't think her rules always apply to a lot of women. I think her rules are more useful for people that have too much masculine energy and need to tone down their aggression.
I'd really love some tips about how to finish a conversation smoothly, when you want to speak to several people during the course of an event. How to make people know and feel that you have appreciated the conversation, and not wonder if you have left because you are bored. Does that make sense?
You could say.. "it was lovely talking to you,excuse me I need to powder my nose " or I need to refresh my beverage..And give them a warm smile and handshake?Just an idea
Hi I had a tip that has worked when I have used it. It is bring the conversation to something in the future. Eg if they were talking about a upcoming event. Say something like I look forward to hearing all about that. At the same time point feet away from them. I found this seemed to wrap things up nicely an made it smooth to move on.
Thank you for the tips! ❤️ I try to share a conversation equally with all participants. If 2 people are conversing, each talks about 50% of the time. If 3, each talks ~33%, etc. Doesn’t always work out that way but it keeps me self-aware. And I trying to engage those who may not feel as comfortable expressing their thoughts. It’s a work in progress!
Hey Ana! Came here just to say again how I am grateful that I learn a lot of things from you❤️! I've got my new dream job thanks to the things I improved like manners, talking, posture, elegance, good communication! From all the candidates, they were most impressed by me and my positive energy and aura!
@@a.b.2405 Wishing you a good luck🤗❤️🍀 Few tips: Just be yourself, show your harisma, try to impress them why you're more unique than other candidates, be enough confident, prepare like you're going on a first date. Shine! 🤗
Anna's elegance shows in every way, but most importantly, in her heart, mind, and soul. My guess is those were the foundations of her journey. I guess they can be taught? It would be nice to think so.
I'd love a video on elegance during college times. How to feel and look elegant and sophisticated during probably the most economically stressful time of their life? Sending you love
I'm in college with two small children. I instead of buying drinks I save up a couple dollars here and there. When my tax return comes in, I pay off my insurance for the year. Then I go thrifting in the affluent neighborhoods for the best quality clothes I can find. I don't just buy something cheap because its on sale. I also hand dry my clothes. It saves my clothes from wearing out and it saves at the laundromat. I also meal plan . I go to the dollar store so I can save money on things. There is great glass wear that looks great but isn't exspensive.
Focus on elegance in your habits, personality etc be mindful of how to dress but don’t stress over having all designer clothes or anything like that. Focus on clothes that fit well and look like quality materials! This is what I am doing (I am 18 and starting University in the fall!)
The first of Anna's videos I watched was one on how to walk like an elegant lady. I don't remember what the exact title was but I subscribed. Now I feel more confident when I walk and my posture has been more feminine. I used to be a tomboy 😃 I've been following more of her videos as well. Thank you so much, Anna. You can't imagine how much impact you're making. I love you! Halima from Nigeria.
I used to work with someone who would take every single phone call when she was talking to people with her. Sure, some calls are more important than others and you have to take them but I always used to feel that answering the phone every few minutes when somebody is trying to talk to you is the height of rudeness.
I’m definitely the type of person who naturally looks more closed off or unapproachable, so thank you for these tips 💗 also the fidgeting / playing with hair point really hit home, that’s something I have done a lot usually if I feel a bit awkward. Loving your videos Anna 🌸
I think she has mentioned this in a video before. You can just actually say goodbye/okay, I'll catch yp eith you later, all conversations end at some point, the other person is prolly waiting for you to end it and it's not rude to actually excuse yourself when u run out of things to talk about.
In case anyone wanted to know, its actually very easy to yawn with your mouth closed, it feels more like you're allowing the top of the roof of your mouth to expand and then let the yawn fall down your throat. Hopefully that's a good idea of the sensation. I had to learn this for choral performances and its actually been super helpful and easy to avoid yawning in public now so I hope you try!
I'm sorry to hear some people enjoyed hearing when you had a hard time with something Anna. That made me sad. Thanks for being open and for being you. Good video 😘
I have a problem with talking too much. I will admit that I use monologues more than I’d like to admit but now that it has come to my attention I’m really trying to get better and making a conscious effort not to talk too much in a conversation and really let the other person speak. Sometimes I talk a lot to prevent the conversation from getting too boring or from it becoming awkward. Can anyone else relate lol?
When I 1st started her videos I thought it was ridiculous but the more I watch the more I appreciate her for letting us know what other people wont tell us!
56 comments in 5 min! Wow 🤩🤩 I also would suggest a video about how to behave when being introduced to someone. Ex: standing when someone arrived, shaking hands and keeping eye contact to build trust, showing interest.
Thank you for this video, Anna!! I am 20 years old and I am focused on becoming more self aware and conscious of my bad habits. You help me do so regularly. Many I have never even thought of or considered their rude implication. Thank you for your content!!
I’m really thankful for these points, because I do almost everything of it. But in the other hand I’m so bad at socializing and I’m really thankful if a person shows me that I’m note liked by them in a mild way. Because if someone is just polite at seems interested because of it, I’m more hurt and disappointed afterwards, because I think that they like me
Thank you for the video. Another rude habit I always witness when they speak two languages and they switch to their language and ignore those who cannot understand it.
I've just watched Avatar with my son and I haven't seen it since it first came out ... the "I See you" line they use is so powerful. That's the energy we'd ideally hold when talking to a person. I agree with all points and might add being dismissive or talking over a person to the list. Looking forward to the next video. Thank you 🌼🌸🌼
Brilliant! I was just saying to myself today that I needed to master the art of conversation and find videos on conversational etiquette. Opened TH-cam and here it was.
Where I'm from people generally speaking aren't extremely talkative, but I've met people who have the monologue mentality even if they aren't as loud or out-spoken. Upon meeting they won't ask about the other person, but once you encourage them to speak they have trouble finishing.
This why I’ve avoided joining the breakout room conversations on Zoom. I never get a chance to speak. I’m placed with too many monologue type individuals who talk too much and seem too important
"do not play with your hair" THANK YOU! i always hated people who plays with hair when someone's talking or just sit next to you. it makes me nervous and uncomfortable with the person. i'm glad you put it as a rude habit.
Not super fun to be the one with the hair problem either! For me, it’s an anxiety thing, so I’ve been working on it with my therapist but It’s really hard when that’s where it’s coming from.
@@thegillmachine in this case i would understand it, but i knew people in school who played with hair just because thet were bored! I totally get your point because for anxiety i bite my nails a little and then i move my legs up and down but i try to control it. It's hard but i'm managing this!
@@roberta93 I suppose it makes it more understandable, but I’m learning that even if you have anxiety it is always better to reflect and work on your habits! I didn’t mean to come off as arguing, just wanted people with anxiety to read my comment and see that they can get help!
I went to a local dance recital and a woman in front of my family was fidgeting with her hair a lot. She even braided it and took the braid out at one point! And she was defiantly old enough to know better and not a pre teen or something.
This are some great tips! It's so great to have this kind of tips.. Great to apply even in a work environment.. As you always say: your network is your networth. Thank you Anna for another amazing video❤
Thank you for sharing Anna! So many people don't even realise they're being rude when they do these things, specially the yawning while I'm talking. Now that I know, I'll make sure I don't do any of these things.
Very, very, very good, Anna! Modern and practical deeply grounded knowledge, and so often ignored. World would be a better place, when we all would really listen to each other. The worst is the duping delight. Feeling better about someone else’s pain shows lowest level of self esteem.
Once I yawned during a university class (accounting) and my professor seriously embarrassed me in front of the class 50+ people. I never yawned again 😂 learned this the hard way.
@@bathemeinchampagne indeed it was a tough time, working full time and studying. I was very tired. He knew I was working btw. However I get why he was like that.
I'm so glad you discussed this subject. I have a friend who absolutely monopolizes all conversations. I would love to know how to bring this to her attention without spoiling the friendship or hurting her feelings.
Tell her you have learned from an online mentor and watch this video with her. Laugh and say omg that is me when it comes to something like yawning, [if it feels appropriate] but when Anna gets to the monopolizing part, laugh and say omg that is you.
Love this one!! It's interesting because when I interact with women (for the first time), I read them. I tend to keep conversation brief to see if they'll require or ask for more, therefore preventing many of these examples from happening. I always believe less is more and mystery works. I guess I'm going against that because I just typed more words in this comment that needed...haha!
No, an elegant lady does not make invasive demands. If Anna wishes to share, she will but it best not to ask because she might be put in an uncomfortable position of saying no. Same thing with her husband's face. Some people want a face reveal. That is invasive. My favourite cook Maangchi was asked for a fridge tour. Invasive and bizarre. I hope you dont mind me correcting you. 😘😊
@@simonefabiane9562 salam sister i did not mean it as a demand I typed that i feal but you are right maybe she will be put in uncomfortable positions and that whas not wath I wanted and Im glad u corect me because in the end we all here to learn right 🙂
@@girlthis9759 thank you :) yes ofc I will take it positive there is no reason to take it negative feedback are there to help us improve ourself and help us se when we do wrong or mistakes
I cross my arms all the time. Not because I am mad or closed off from people but because I am either cold or comfortable, or both. I am the type of person who is always cold. Crossing my arms makes me feel a little warmer, and it’s just comfortable.
Thank you, Anna, for addressing these excellent points. While there were many characteristics to elegance that my family did not impart on me, I've realised that, somehow, they did train me in proper social etiquette. And it has been such a huge barrier to friendships for me, because an incredible majority of people are doing the things you mention and don't realise how rude, off-putting, and downgrading to their character it is. I am often left feeling like the 'odd one out', with others usually thinking I am being "too serious", or "precious", or something like this, simply because I appreciate good manners as a form of respect. Thank you for your attentiveness, and I'm excited to hear more about your social network project...!
I suspect these good habits also put us in our power, in a reserved, elegant and feminine way... though they would work for anyone. That is something that I greatly need in conversation. I get walked all over, interrupted, not allowed to finish, and then I escalate to try and stand my ground - or I become enthusiastic in other types of conversations and I'm overbearing on the other person without meaning to be! THIS is what I need. To be in a sense of power, and in real, grounded, abiding, authentic, appropriate personal, classy power, in a calm way. (I had this at a couple of points in my life, didn't understand it and lost it along the way! Now I understand it better, and consciously here!) Huge. Thank you so much as always, Anna!
myself included so many people i know do these and it's kind of frustrating because i feel like they don't care what i say! everyone should watch this!
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you for watching! ❤️ Which conversation habit you find rude? And if you want to find out How To Deal With Rudeness In An Elegant Way, then watch this video: th-cam.com/video/LCA1cBaB4KI/w-d-xo.html
Great topic!
Thanks for sharing, Anna 💕
Thankyou for another video 😊
Interrupting People is very bad too.
One of my cousins does this subtle evil smile, after she has given a covert insult to me. I know exactly what you mean.
The conversation habit I find rude: When someone asks me a question and doesn’t let me finish my answer. It’s exhausting.
That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves. My boss does this to me all the time...she will ask me a question about something and I’ll start responding and she’ll cut me off...
I loathe people who interrupt.
This exhausts me! So so rude.
@@eggegg8181 yes! Why did they even ask, except to tell their own story?! The only person who is allowed to do this is my grandpa because he always says cool, quality stuff I can learn from. 😂
When someone asks mw something, I answer, and after a while maybe that day or another that same person asks me the very same question cause he/she didn't pay attention at first and just asked to seem concerned.
I really need to know how to end a boring conversation elegantly.
Yeah
Me too
Me too
Me too
Just try not to put much comments and try to find something interesting in the conversation and tell them it reminds u of something and start discussing stuff together
Can we have 10 charming conversation habits next 😍?
This is a wonderful idea!
Yeeees😍
Yes 😍
Yes
Good one!
Anna Bey has really made me enjoy being a woman and leaning into my femininity. In a strange way, focusing on being feminine & elegant has helped me to manage the stress of this pandemic.
This is exactly how my journey is going as well! I became interested in femininity and elegance right before the start of the pendamic. Engaging and practising this subject really helped me manage my stress levels, and kept me occupied while learning something valuable!
@@cityfairy6342 I'm so glad to hear you've also been enjoying yourself. It really has been wonderful learning something valuable✨
Same
I know, me too! It has helped me feel productive - like I used this time for personal development and to become more polished.
Like being a butterfly LOL
I love her!!!
Anna: don't yawn
Me: yawns because she yawned
Me too😊
This is called isopraxism, and it’s great 😊 We tend to imitate people we like.
I just yawned after reading this😂 I love you vids btw Lana
My favorite youtubers! Nice seeing you here Lana ❤️
Yawned reading their comment x
Key take-home - be an active listener. Respect the other person enough to allow them time to speak and ACTUALLY listen to what they have to say, and take an interest. You will more often than not, learn something new.
Please, are they worth your precious time and energy? I have no respect or tolerance for someone that rambles on incessantly. Sometimes yawning is nothing about the other person it’s just that either you’re tired and you’re bored
@@sunshine2049 well that's when I would try and find out what they're most passionate about. People light up if you find out what makes them really excited. I guess I aim to bring that out in people when I meet them.
Having said that, you are right about time and energy bring precious. Setting those boundaries is important, particularly when you already know if someone is an energy "vampire".
When it comes to how long you should talk: Stop after you have presented a new idea or perspective. Even if you only said 5 words. When you present new information then people want to respond to it. If you don't stop talking and let them respond then you're being rude. This is a sign that you only want to hear yourself speaking and no one else actually needs to be there for that. They will get bored and leave you.
This is great advice! Thanks!
This is a great tip, thank you!
This this this. People these days... Our attention span can really only handle one or two clauses at a time to convey a single point. Once the one sentence or point is finished, people believe it's their turn.
Totally agree!
Thanks for this tip, I’ll try to be mindful of this in the future.
Let s be honest, who is checking out Anna’s handbag collection? :))
I’m checking out the beautiful nude heels!!!
Haha am checking the whole collection, shoes 👠 handbags 👜 etc
I'm adoring the gorgeous buckled shoes.....🙂
✋🏼
Now that u have mentioned it
I have a memory of being in college and speaking to a girl in my class. Right in the middle of our conversation, she walked away from me. I remember feeling stunned at her rudeness. I also self-reflected, thinking that maybe I said something offensive, but no, I was just asking if she liked the course so far. Rude!
Not everyone was raised right. 🤷🌺
Maybe she hated the course
Waw rudnes on another lvl 😯
She cant prosper with that type of attitude.
My old boss was just like that. Did exactly the same to me in the middle of me talking to him in front of a big group. Totally socially unaware and inept 🤦
Today’s society has no etiquette. Thank you for posting these videos! It’s a great reminder!
At a party, I would like tips on how to when appropriate politely disengage from a conversation with one person so as to continue to mingle among all the party guests.
After 10 minutes (give or take) simply excuse yourself to allow conversation with others. Most people won’t take it personally and appreciate your polite exit
I just say well it was nice talking to you and walk off.
You go to parties?
@@arip172 not now, but hopefully someday again!
It was so lovely to catch up with you enjoy the rest of the party
My ex use to "monologue" all the time, especially when I was trying to have a serious conversations with him. It was just one of the many reasons why I broke up with him. Yes extremely frustrating.
I hope you drew his attention to this negative habbit he has, in order for him to avoid doing it in future relationships/friendships.
@@cityfairy6342 Women aren’t rehabilitation centers or substitute parents for adults. I see many red flags in OP’s comment. He wouldn’t have responded well to criticism. It is not on OP to make him into a better human.
@@hotjanuary I understand. What I meant is that it's always adult-like to communicate what bothers you in the other person, even without the intention of making them a good person.
@@cityfairy6342 I bet she’s tried many times before finally giving up. Women are socially conditioned to coMmuNiCate and try to fix things, giving endless amount of chances, instead of putting up hard boundaries of cutting people loose after they do it again when you told them you don’t like it.
@@hotjanuary yes, women by nature lean more towards maintaining relationships and nurturing them, which in my opinion is not a bad quality to have. This quality, however, should not come between a woman and her dignity and self-respect.
I really hate it when people enjoy other person's misery. I have seen that a lot
Yeah, me too. But it is useful to know who to avoid and distrust!
@@lalywindland5764 even in the elegant community there are people like that
May I know what you mean by that? I just want to know if I ever encountered it
@@vinvinsubs there are people out there who will call themselves very elite class and very affluent people just because of the cast or money.... But their habbits and character say opposite. They are jealous, and insecure because of which they hurt other people and they also get happy if another person is suffering certain way. That's what I meant.
@@rosepearlart I think it doesn’t matter if they’re part of the elite or not... they’re still people.
I am a man but I watch your every single video. You are so intelligent and you have some kind of heartwarming brightness around you. I wish you all the best.
That’s a lovely thing to say….
Another one: don't interrupt. I do it all the time and I feel terrible, sometimes I really can't help it, but I know it is rude and I instantly feel bad. I just never know when can I start talking, sometimes it is difficult when everyone has something to say. So I do it but I hate myself for doing it. So don't do it, ladies.
I understand you, because I have been there. That's what I did too improve:
Try speaking much less and don't fear looking boring because of it. On the opposite, it will make you look much more interesting. You can notice that in the movie "The Tourist"- Angelina Jolie is barelly speaking and yet she is hipnotising.
Also, try asking more questions instead of giving opinions and telling your stories. That's how people realize you are actually listening to them.
I hope it helped you! And I'm sorry for my english, I'm still learning
Yes!!!
@@Alicia-jc8pj Wow this is the best advice ever. Crack!
wow! that is ME as well Lu! I get so excited sometimes to get my point across and don't want to lose my train of thought or momentum and wind up interrupting the other person! I keep trying to be more aware of this yet i keep doing it!!
I do this too, unfortunately. I forget things very easily when talking to someone, especially when it's a person who rarely ever stops to take a moment to catch their breath when talking about themselves, so I have a bad habit of jumping in so I can have a turn to speak and not forget what I have to say. In reality, it's okay to forget and it's more important to listen to what the other person has to say. My grandmother would forget things and remember them much later in the conversation. Hope this helps!
It is also important to remember there are very mean nasty jealous people out there who actually do all of these things to bring you down. See it,realize it and keep your distance from them. Not everything is a accident.
These are just basic good manners that every decent person should have :)
💯
A lot of people are not decent and/or don’t have good manners.
A lot of people still don’t do it. People need to be reminded
@@salut4396 azul !
It is true, but some are very young and have yet to learn the principles of good manners, and not everyone has in his life a person to learn from.
For those who monologue away due to a worry that they need to keep the conversation "interesting" - you are not 100% responsible for the flow of the conversation. These words from a wise person I know have changed my life! Well, are still changing it!
Thank you Anna, I have still a lot to learn from you!
Pet peeve: Demonstrating to me that your phone is more important to you than I am. If that's the case, then don't waste my time to begin with. I don't want to play second fiddle to your phone.
Same!
I hate that too! Especially when they stop listening at all and interupt me in the middle of a sentence to tell me something they just saw on facebook...
I wondered why people have to always have their phone in their hand? ...even visiting someone in their home,..it just seems rude and unnecessary ..people did have lives before smart phones.
For my birthday, I had to request to my second family that I wanted no electronics at the table. Why is that necessary to say to adults?
Great video! With the fear of sounding like an old spinster, I also consider couples, who are either my guests, or hosts, who are kissing each other in front of others, as being rude. Especially in the middle of a conversation..
Public kissing is absolutely rude. I hv felt this way since I was a kid n still do in my 20s.
Yes, I know some couples like that. When they are out with other friends, they act as if no one else is present around them and go smooching. Very silly and rude! Not surprisingly, I don’t miss them at all these days
I have ADHD, and I work extremely hard to make sure that I actively listen, engage, and remember what others are saying without interrupting. I also try to say interesting things, and if someone's body language or facial expressions begin to signal boredom, I immediately switch topics. Needless to say, if someone displays the rude behaviors listed here to me-especially a person who is not neurodivergent and does not need to work nearly as hard as I do-I choose to avoid that person in the future.
Why do all that? I just get up and leave 😒
I am on the autism spectrum and I sometimes feel like I will never be able to fully master everything said in this video despite my best efforts :/ Sometimes it makes me a bit sad that people don’t even seem to try to be more understanding towards those who are neurodivergent, but that might be because those are often invisible conditions. But well, what can we do other than just trying our hardest and hoping that we’ll encounter some pleasant people? :)
At least you try. My ex-best friend has ADHD and instead of taking accountability for her social ineptitude, she would say I was too sensitive. She also is dating someone who went to jail for raping his ex, another ex has a restraining order against him, but she called me manipulative when I said if she didn't do a background check, I was out of the friendship. GoAlZ.
Thank you so much for saying this, I also have ADHD and I also have worked on actively changing those things. A young girl with ADHD made a tik tok about how she Just learned that it’s rude to tell a story about yourself in a similar predicament when someone wants to talk to you about an experience they had and I responded explaining why it’s not ok to do that and how to change that and the comments were filled with people saying “well I have ADHD it’s just the way my brain works, it’s not my fault” when yes you absolutely can change that, you just have to become aware of it and work at it. having ADHD doesn’t mean you’re physically unable to stop making things about you 😂😂😂 even after explaining i used to do the same thing, have ADHD and it’s absolutely possible to stop doing that with effort.
I gave up and said well if that’s just who you are and don’t see an issue with it, keep doing it but don’t be surprised or have hurt feelings when no one wants to talk to you or avoids you at all costs
Thank you for sharing this. I teach students with special needs and I when I heard some of these suggestions, I thought about them. I take this information with a grain of salt. Do what works for you. People who WANT to understand will ❤️
Hi Anna, I’d love to see a video where you talk about how to dress elegantly in your early 20’s.
I find it so difficult to dress elegant without looking old😭
Yes, please!
Omg yasss
For example, if you like the elegant midi skirt style, wear the midi skirt! I think the key is staying with classic colors or fun prints that look young (not grandma prints!), at least that's what works for me.
Is not true, i was elegant in my 20's (now i am 28) and i didn't looked old. You can find a juvenile style
Honestly, nothing disappoints, and angers me more when someone keeps playing with their phone while we're having a conversation 😩 I have this problem with many of my friends, especially when we're watching a movie 😑 it's extremely disappointing 🤦
If you can, feel the person’s energy. I can absolutely feel it when someone is not listening, it can be subtle or a sudden shift. I can’t explain it, but I can feel it and sometimes their eyes don’t blink as much or their face is more stoic.
I’m quite intuitive too, I’ll have to be more mindful to see if I notice the same. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.
Exactly! Very obvious energy when someone is not listening. I used to just stop talking mid-sentence. I don't want to chit-chat just for the sake of making noises.
@@Nyuffykah I love that. I've done that, too. Just stopped in the middle of my own sentence.
Yes we can often sense it, but look at it from their perspective. They would like to get out of the conversation but just don't know how. So they freeze up.
My fifth grade teacher would yell at us when we didn't cover our mouth when we would yawn. She would be like "no one wants to see the inside of your mouth!" 😂 from that day on I always covered my mouth
in my country they say you’ll get a fly in your mouth if you don’t cover it 😂😂
The dentist does! 🤣
Yelling is probably a rude habbit.
What country is that ?
@@rn387 I'm assuming this question is directed towards my response. i'm from India :*
I find out that when I think somebody's talk isn't make sense with my belief & my life, I become bored. The solution I found is to pay attention to things I can learn from their stories and ask questions about things that can make me curious about them, in this way I stay passionate along the conversation.
I grew up in a family that never listened when I talked. They would interrupt me or “walk all over my words”. And even my friends would do the same. I never learned to stand up for myself and be heard unless I interrupted everyone or if they took a breath I jumped in just to be heard. I still do this and I know it’s rude but I feel so deeply about wanting to be heard I can’t help it. Help!!! My tiny voice gets lost in a crowd & I end up leaving the conversation and just eat the anger of never being heard.
I totally relate to this! I don't think interrupting is always rude, especially if no one listens to you. Sometimes you need to be assertive to gain respect. I find that once you just start talking about yourself more, people are forced to listen to you and they learn to treat you more equally. Don't apologise for this. Being too agreeable will only cause you to be treated like a doormat and can lead to you only attracting narcissistic people in the long run - this is dangerous! This is why I don't think her rules always apply to a lot of women. I think her rules are more useful for people that have too much masculine energy and need to tone down their aggression.
Anna is really my mentor and has driven me to be the best version of me ,I would love to spent just one day with her 🧡🧡
Made me realize i am really so rude at times!
Lol!
Not so easy to be so considerate too.
Fabulous reminder Dear Anna!
To me, the #1 terrible conversation habit is interrupting.
I would LOVE to have a closet that looks like that one day! Wow! The colors, organization, everything!! 🤩🤩😍
I've just started making the attempts to organize mine!
I'd really love some tips about how to finish a conversation smoothly, when you want to speak to several people during the course of an event.
How to make people know and feel that you have appreciated the conversation, and not wonder if you have left because you are bored. Does that make sense?
You could say.. "it was lovely talking to you,excuse me I need to powder my nose " or I need to refresh my beverage..And give them a warm smile and handshake?Just an idea
Hi I had a tip that has worked when I have used it. It is bring the conversation to something in the future. Eg if they were talking about a upcoming event. Say something like I look forward to hearing all about that. At the same time point feet away from them. I found this seemed to wrap things up nicely an made it smooth to move on.
@@ajb2639 thanks i like that much classier
@@ajb2639 I like that tip. Thankyou! I'll try it next time.
@@ShinySilverBunny it's much more elegant.
You are basically teaching how to be kind! I love you Anna!
hahaha "there's a lot of boring people ot there, I'm sorry to say" got to love her honesty!
Yes, and I've met a lot! lol
Thank you for the tips! ❤️ I try to share a conversation equally with all participants. If 2 people are conversing, each talks about 50% of the time. If 3, each talks ~33%, etc. Doesn’t always work out that way but it keeps me self-aware. And I trying to engage those who may not feel as comfortable expressing their thoughts. It’s a work in progress!
Hey Ana! Came here just to say again how I am grateful that I learn a lot of things from you❤️! I've got my new dream job thanks to the things I improved like manners, talking, posture, elegance, good communication! From all the candidates, they were most impressed by me and my positive energy and aura!
Oh wow, I am so happy for you. This is a good endorsement.
Send some of your vibes to me please because I am currently looking for a position. 🥰
@@a.b.2405 Wishing you a good luck🤗❤️🍀 Few tips: Just be yourself, show your harisma, try to impress them why you're more unique than other candidates, be enough confident, prepare like you're going on a first date. Shine! 🤗
@@Percalus thank you so much for the encouraging words. I actually need to get contacted by these companies for them to get to know me.
Thanks for sharing with us these brilliant references about elegance and good manners. 💐
People won't remember what you said or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. 🦆
She's right . I was soo offended whenever my friends zone out in reading that they don't look and listen to me . I cut them all off . THANK GOD
Are you from America?
@@1480f lol
I love that you mentioned to be KIND... So important! 🙂
I really loved it too! Just to be a good and decent person.
Anna's elegance shows in every way, but most importantly, in her heart, mind, and soul. My guess is those were the foundations of her journey. I guess they can be taught? It would be nice to think so.
Anna could you please do Elegant Hobbies? Activities where we can meet affluent people. I have seen you related to Polo, for example ❤️ Love you.
I would definitely be interested in seeing a video related to this topic!
I'd love a video on elegance during college times. How to feel and look elegant and sophisticated during probably the most economically stressful time of their life?
Sending you love
I'm in college with two small children. I instead of buying drinks I save up a couple dollars here and there. When my tax return comes in, I pay off my insurance for the year. Then I go thrifting in the affluent neighborhoods for the best quality clothes I can find. I don't just buy something cheap because its on sale. I also hand dry my clothes. It saves my clothes from wearing out and it saves at the laundromat. I also meal plan . I go to the dollar store so I can save money on things. There is great glass wear that looks great but isn't exspensive.
Focus on elegance in your habits, personality etc be mindful of how to dress but don’t stress over having all designer clothes or anything like that. Focus on clothes that fit well and look like quality materials! This is what I am doing (I am 18 and starting University in the fall!)
The first of Anna's videos I watched was one on how to walk like an elegant lady. I don't remember what the exact title was but I subscribed. Now I feel more confident when I walk and my posture has been more feminine. I used to be a tomboy 😃
I've been following more of her videos as well.
Thank you so much, Anna. You can't imagine how much impact you're making. I love you!
Halima from Nigeria.
I used to work with someone who would take every single phone call when she was talking to people with her. Sure, some calls are more important than others and you have to take them but I always used to feel that answering the phone every few minutes when somebody is trying to talk to you is the height of rudeness.
It is. 99.999% of phone calls are less important then being in the present moment.
This. And when they don’t actually walk away to take it stopping others from conversing.
Ah Anna blessing us on Valentines day! Happy Valentines day everyone! ❤️🌹
Absolutely beautiful outfit, earrings and everything. Très élégant.
Dress is from Mango it's on sales for 20€ right now
😊
Great tips. The smile when hearing someone confide something that is bothering them, that is a very good one!
I’m definitely the type of person who naturally looks more closed off or unapproachable, so thank you for these tips 💗 also the fidgeting / playing with hair point really hit home, that’s something I have done a lot usually if I feel a bit awkward. Loving your videos Anna 🌸
I have not expected this, but I don’t actually make any of these bad conversation habits! I can feel proud of myself!
Thank you, Anna. Can you please advise how to elegantly end or move away from a conversation you're not enjoying?
Just tell them you got to go or don't reply its not that hard you don't need advice for this
I think she has mentioned this in a video before. You can just actually say goodbye/okay, I'll catch yp eith you later, all conversations end at some point, the other person is prolly waiting for you to end it and it's not rude to actually excuse yourself when u run out of things to talk about.
I am so happy to see many young ladies watching these videos. Ms. Bey teaches secrets that take years to learn.
Love this! "I would not yawn whatsoever ". Very practical advice and on point for high caliber manners
This is a classic video to be shared with our better halves. This actually applies to not only to women, this video is universal.
In case anyone wanted to know, its actually very easy to yawn with your mouth closed, it feels more like you're allowing the top of the roof of your mouth to expand and then let the yawn fall down your throat. Hopefully that's a good idea of the sensation. I had to learn this for choral performances and its actually been super helpful and easy to avoid yawning in public now so I hope you try!
I do this mainly on class and the library, so useful!
Good tip
if i feel a yawn coming I drop something and pick it up just a thought lol
The lipstick looks stunning on you :)
I'm sorry to hear some people enjoyed hearing when you had a hard time with something Anna. That
made me sad.
Thanks for being open and for being you.
Good video 😘
I have a problem with talking too much. I will admit that I use monologues more than I’d like to admit but now that it has come to my attention I’m really trying to get better and making a conscious effort not to talk too much in a conversation and really let the other person speak. Sometimes I talk a lot to prevent the conversation from getting too boring or from it becoming awkward. Can anyone else relate lol?
When I 1st started her videos I thought it was ridiculous but the more I watch the more I appreciate her for letting us know what other people wont tell us!
Yeah same
56 comments in 5 min! Wow 🤩🤩 I also would suggest a video about how to behave when being introduced to someone. Ex: standing when someone arrived, shaking hands and keeping eye contact to build trust, showing interest.
Agreee
Thank you for this video, Anna!! I am 20 years old and I am focused on becoming more self aware and conscious of my bad habits. You help me do so regularly. Many I have never even thought of or considered their rude implication. Thank you for your content!!
I’m really thankful for these points, because I do almost everything of it. But in the other hand I’m so bad at socializing and I’m really thankful if a person shows me that I’m note liked by them in a mild way. Because if someone is just polite at seems interested because of it, I’m more hurt and disappointed afterwards, because I think that they like me
Thank you for the video. Another rude habit I always witness when they speak two languages and they switch to their language and ignore those who cannot understand it.
Can we have a video on ' How to pose for a photograph ' ?
Happy Valentine's Day to all you ladies🍫 ❤️ Treat yourself to something special whether you are taken or not.
I've just watched Avatar with my son and I haven't seen it since it first came out ... the "I See you" line they use is so powerful. That's the energy we'd ideally hold when talking to a person. I agree with all points and might add being dismissive or talking over a person to the list. Looking forward to the next video. Thank you 🌼🌸🌼
Brilliant! I was just saying to myself today that I needed to master the art of conversation and find videos on conversational etiquette. Opened TH-cam and here it was.
Hey queen. ❤️.. Happy Valentines Day to all elegant ladies watching this 🌹
Thank you! And Happy Valentines Day to you too! 💗💐
@@maramendoim ❤️
My main reason for watching these videos is because I just ♥️ Anna ! Improving myself is second.
I think at least 75% of the people I come across are monologue people. :(
Where I'm from people generally speaking aren't extremely talkative, but I've met people who have the monologue mentality even if they aren't as loud or out-spoken. Upon meeting they won't ask about the other person, but once you encourage them to speak they have trouble finishing.
Tbh I love monologue people so I don't have to carry the whole conversation 😂
@@Dualdaldul lol, that's a good point too!
This why I’ve avoided joining the breakout room conversations on Zoom. I never get a chance to speak. I’m placed with too many monologue type individuals who talk too much and seem too important
It’s all about good manners and if you are genuine on top of having good manners then you are a gem ☺️
LOVE love love this! All of my pet peeves, but you explained everything so beautifully. Can we do a video on how to end a boring conversation?
Common sense and basic etiquette, such a great reminder. Thank you 😊
"do not play with your hair" THANK YOU! i always hated people who plays with hair when someone's talking or just sit next to you. it makes me nervous and uncomfortable with the person. i'm glad you put it as a rude habit.
Not super fun to be the one with the hair problem either! For me, it’s an anxiety thing, so I’ve been working on it with my therapist but It’s really hard when that’s where it’s coming from.
@@thegillmachine in this case i would understand it, but i knew people in school who played with hair just because thet were bored! I totally get your point because for anxiety i bite my nails a little and then i move my legs up and down but i try to control it. It's hard but i'm managing this!
@@roberta93 I suppose it makes it more understandable, but I’m learning that even if you have anxiety it is always better to reflect and work on your habits! I didn’t mean to come off as arguing, just wanted people with anxiety to read my comment and see that they can get help!
@@thegillmachine yes of course. I suffer of anxiety too, don't worry!
I went to a local dance recital and a woman in front of my family was fidgeting with her hair a lot. She even braided it and took the braid out at one point! And she was defiantly old enough to know better and not a pre teen or something.
Looking around in the room IS SO RUDE :/ and people don't realize it! Thanks Anna for calling that out!
This are some great tips! It's so great to have this kind of tips.. Great to apply even in a work environment.. As you always say: your network is your networth. Thank you Anna for another amazing video❤
Thank you for sharing Anna! So many people don't even realise they're being rude when they do these things, specially the yawning while I'm talking. Now that I know, I'll make sure I don't do any of these things.
The color of your dress really suits you, absolutely beautiful.
Anna I have followed you for about two years now. You are just getting better and better. I’m really enjoying your videos.
Good thing we're wearing mask because nobody can tell when I'm yawning now😁
Good point 🤔
🤣
Watery eyes can tell on you 🥺
Very, very, very good, Anna! Modern and practical deeply grounded knowledge, and so often ignored. World would be a better place, when we all would really listen to each other.
The worst is the duping delight. Feeling better about someone else’s pain shows lowest level of self esteem.
Once I yawned during a university class (accounting) and my professor seriously embarrassed me in front of the class 50+ people. I never yawned again 😂 learned this the hard way.
@@bathemeinchampagne indeed it was a tough time, working full time and studying. I was very tired.
He knew I was working btw. However I get why he was like that.
So glad you bought this dress from where you showed us in a last year video, as it looks absolutely great on you !
I'm so glad you discussed this subject. I have a friend who absolutely monopolizes all conversations. I would love to know how to bring this to her attention without spoiling the friendship or hurting her feelings.
Tell her you have learned from an online mentor and watch this video with her. Laugh and say omg that is me when it comes to something like yawning, [if it feels appropriate] but when Anna gets to the monopolizing part, laugh and say omg that is you.
@@simonefabiane9562 good idea, thank you
All that you've said is valid. I just want to ask: what do you do when you are on the receiving end of this rude behavior?
'Theres is a lot of boring people out there' - Anna Bey. This one was my favourite and most accurate statement.
Love this one!! It's interesting because when I interact with women (for the first time), I read them. I tend to keep conversation brief to see if they'll require or ask for more, therefore preventing many of these examples from happening. I always believe less is more and mystery works. I guess I'm going against that because I just typed more words in this comment that needed...haha!
Anna your dress is so beautiful and elegant it fits you perfect!! Thanks for all the tips you share to all of us!!
Watching all her nice handbags and shoes I feel like we nead a closet toure 🙂
No, an elegant lady does not make invasive demands. If Anna wishes to share, she will but it best not to ask because she might be put in an uncomfortable position of saying no. Same thing with her husband's face. Some people want a face reveal. That is invasive. My favourite cook Maangchi was asked for a fridge tour. Invasive and bizarre. I hope you dont mind me correcting you. 😘😊
@@simonefabiane9562 salam sister i did not mean it as a demand I typed that i feal but you are right maybe she will be put in uncomfortable positions and that whas not wath I wanted and Im glad u corect me because in the end we all here to learn right 🙂
@@Lili-ik3iw I love that you took this so positively.
@@girlthis9759 thank you :) yes ofc I will take it positive there is no reason to take it negative feedback are there to help us improve ourself and help us se when we do wrong or mistakes
I never do any of these but thankyou so much Anna for reminding us these etiquette from time to time that will help us in a long way.
This is perfect, exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
I cross my arms all the time. Not because I am mad or closed off from people but because I am either cold or comfortable, or both. I am the type of person who is always cold. Crossing my arms makes me feel a little warmer, and it’s just comfortable.
I love the way you look. So neat, fresh and composed all the time. So fulfilled. :)
Thank you, Anna, for addressing these excellent points. While there were many characteristics to elegance that my family did not impart on me, I've realised that, somehow, they did train me in proper social etiquette. And it has been such a huge barrier to friendships for me, because an incredible majority of people are doing the things you mention and don't realise how rude, off-putting, and downgrading to their character it is. I am often left feeling like the 'odd one out', with others usually thinking I am being "too serious", or "precious", or something like this, simply because I appreciate good manners as a form of respect.
Thank you for your attentiveness, and I'm excited to hear more about your social network project...!
Loving the closet back ground. I keep looking at the shoes and handbags. 😍😍😍
I suspect these good habits also put us in our power, in a reserved, elegant and feminine way... though they would work for anyone.
That is something that I greatly need in conversation. I get walked all over, interrupted, not allowed to finish, and then I escalate to try and stand my ground - or I become enthusiastic in other types of conversations and I'm overbearing on the other person without meaning to be!
THIS is what I need. To be in a sense of power, and in real, grounded, abiding, authentic, appropriate personal, classy power, in a calm way.
(I had this at a couple of points in my life, didn't understand it and lost it along the way! Now I understand it better, and consciously here!)
Huge.
Thank you so much as always, Anna!
Anna, I like that lipstick on you, it's very pretty and a very good color for you.
myself included so many people i know do these and it's kind of frustrating because i feel like they don't care what i say! everyone should watch this!