"You don't need to know someone's past to understand them, and you don't need to understand them to respect them." Very true words and relevant to everybody.
Seems logical. The folowing text is in dutch : ik heb gezegd dat ik vindt dat je erg zwart wit denkt. I zou minstens sommige goede herringen willen weten , alleen maar een slecht verleden klinkt zwart wit goed of slecht. Wat je met je leven doet maakt een perssoon meer dan zijn herringen
Rebekah Paul So true. I’ve been in a relationship with a man with DID for three years and I still don’t know the details of his past. Tbh, he may not have access to those memories anyway, those are most likely being held by one or more of the alters. Making them talk about only re-traumatizes them, so it’s not worth satisfying my curiosity.
For the snapping thing, 100% never do that. Ever. We were switching and got the snapping in face thing, We punched them even tho were great friends. A large part of trauma was that snapping in face thing. And Tori our protector is a fight response 10/10. He apologized multiple times, But still, you never know where someone is coming from. (This is everywhere sorry)
I have physical protectors and they usually front often. So if you do the snappy thing either 1) You get a “what the frick?” or 2) A punch or slap in the face Whichever one that fronts you’ll get a different response.
I’m not a system, but I dissociate a lot due to childhood trauma. When you did that snappy thing it startled me because thats what people have been doing to me all my life, and its a bit terrifying to be forced out of it. There is always a good reason for people dissociating, and others don’t know, or need to know, why. Be kind. The human brain is design for one purpose : to help us live another day. Dissociation is the brain’s way of keeping us sane and safe. Embrace it.
Luna Sears I agree I disassociate but don't think I'm DID and people doing that shit is fucked up. Also people being cruel and pushing you then getting upset when you go all robotic because you can't handle feelings anymore like if you behave like an asshole the person will want to leave. And those of us with trauma leave internally.
The Illusion: you need to explain to him that what he is doing is hurting you psychically. Shutting down is your mind’s way of taking care of itself and you must have that time to regroup. It has nothing to do with him. If he doesn’t care about or respect this boundary, even if he doesn’t understand it, he’s not the right partner for you. Someone did this to me once and I was so rattled I started crying. At the time I did not know why, but I know now.
I dont have DID but i also dissociate. And ive found it very hard and annoying, and today was kinda bad at work. I was feeling so upset about it, and just wanting to feel "normal" but this has made me feel much better❤
I cannot thank you enough for mentioning the fact that you cannot scare us! I don’t have DID, but I do suffer from PTSD and people seem to think it’s so funny to scare me because I scare so easily and I freak out so badly. ITS NOT FUNNY. It’s terrifying! Leave us alone, please. THANK YOU Chloe for mentioning that!!!
Anna Middleton I hate people who find that amusing as its cruel. Amd when I see people fo it to others I wanna hit them as it's like don't be an asshole. It's not funny to scare someone. That's not ok.
HUGE yes!! as someone who suffers from DID i can highly agree that people yelling or trying to scare me as a joke can be quite triggering. it can also cause tons of other unwanted reactions like: lashing out, flashbacks, overwhelming anxiety and sudden panic. to name a few. i can't speak for anybody but myself so take it with a grain of salt but!! loud noises/yelling are amongst my most bothersome trigger(s). purposely triggering someone is never okay, mentally ill or not. please respect one another and be kind to everybody you encounter. you never know how grand your impact on others can truly be. have a good day everyone ^-^
Anna Claire is everybody who has a hypersensitive startle reflex always somebody who has trauma or has been thru some sort of abuse? If that’s not necessarily always the case, could it be at least a strong indication of that?
I recently found out I really do have DID, and I have at least 7 alters. It's been kind of difficult, but a close friend of mine has been really understanding. I'll be sure to show her this video 😊
We were recently officially diagnosed with DID, too, except we've known about it since childhood. People we have told have been so understanding when we explain it, it's inspired us to create day-in-the-life and videos like this one. Good luck with your journey from us all. - Olivia.
If you don’t wanna answer this, I completely understand. My best friend has DID and has slowly opened up to me about it over a few years. I can’t tell if and when I’ve met other alter but I’d like to reach out to the others to let them know that I understand and that they can trust me when they’re out. Is there a good way to start introduce myself to alters? How do I know when it’s not the host? I think the system is still trying to imitate the host most of the time.
@@SamanthaFierke i have the same situation with my best friend. i reassured them that i won't walk away when another person fronts and that it's okay if an alter doesn't like me. the host recently told me that even the sceptic alters don't feel even slightly threatened by me and i also met some littles which is a huge compliment to me. it also took years, but this is okay and i understand it. i have also childhood trauma and i'm autistic (that means also trauma from beeing bullied) which means i know how shitty people treat you when you're diffrent and i don't want anyone to feel like i did so i'm extra careful and gentle. if I was you i'd ask the system themself how they wanted to be treated. the system i'm friends with and i rely on clear, violent-free communitcation. i'd say: "hey xyz i'd like to get to know your system and the alters if it's okay for all of you. i want to make sure, you are all comfortable with me and i don't want to mistreat any of you [i always give a reason so they know my motives]. can i ask you some questions? for example: have i met other alters and if yes do they have different names? would you or they like to tell me so i can adress them right? is there anything i can do better? (...) but it's completly okay and valid if you're not ready to open up about this. i don't want you to feel pressure from me, just know i'm here for you all and i'm willing to make the effort to get to know more alters and their boundaries!" example of our communication: recently i had birthday and the host changed since last year for reasons i won't share. as a consequence the name "abc" didn't match anymore since they didn't front anymore. a "new" alter became host ("def") which i also adressed as this after they told me that's their name. i invited them to my birthday party and asked them which name to call them since my other friends know them as "abc" and if i should ask my other friend to call dem "def" now. they answered they'd rather be called at social gatherings "ghi" bc sometimes they switch and the person out didn't feel adressed so they picked the systemname as such. and i could tell people who i trusted to react understanding to this (which are almost all except one person i didn't know that good since it was a quite new contact). so yeah, sorry for the wall of text but this is how we communicate and i hope this was some kind of helpful to anyone xD
My partner has a little that is very young, maybe 4 or 5 years old. He shows up quite randomly however I've noticed that he usually fronts to me if he's in need of comfort or very excited about something such as getting a gift or showing me some art he created. It took a while for me to start noticing the pattern but now I can recognize his mannerisms better and I kick into a bit of a mom mode (he has told me that since he has a mommy, I'm his grandma which honestly makes me so happy. I call him my little Cupcake). A few people think it's odd because I'm not in a romantic relationship with the host or the system as a whole but only one alter with a friendship or even family dynamic with many of her other alters, however I see it a bit like simply having a nonconventional family group. I absolutely love your videos and am very grateful for the information you present for those who are new to DID or are learning to cope with DID so they know they most definitely aren't alone.
I don't think that's strange at all. Integrated people have relationships where they play a lot of roles in each other's lives at different time points: friend, lover, mother, protector etc etc. Everyone in a system is actually different parts of the one person that you love, so it's perfectly normal to play different roles in his life depending on what he needs (or in other words who's fronting) if you ask me.
Mi wife system has 9 alters. I have a relationship with 4 of them (none of them is the host) but is not hard to understand. You just need to be patient and feel a strong love. I already got used to it
I am cool with someone with did and their alters prefer to be treated as separate people which i do and have grown close to them. People may disagree with this but I just see them as separate beings sharing a body
This can be harder to do in closer relationships. Although it is the goal, when a switch happens during an important conversation or a hard time in the partners life (death in the family or health problems), it can make it harder to remain patient and treat every alter as separate people. ie) my partner (host) and I were trying to have a baby and during an important conversation about health and such, his little personality took over and the entire conversation had to be put on hold. While I would love to say I didn't get frustrated, I am human and did get a little irritated at such an important conversation being put on hold.
@@kitc.3104 I understand you and I respect your opinion. We all might get irritated sometimes. But do remember that, you are a really good partner. Trust me. You are awesome!
First, I LOVE the eyeshadow! 😍 Second, this video seemed like it was kind of hard to film -- you discussed or referenced so many negative triggers and trauma. That's really brave of you to do. So I just wanted to say that I respect and appreciate the effort you put into this video, Chloe. I'm sure it will help a lot of people!
I called this video (if it was mine) "15 WAYS To SUPPORT Someone With DID PSTD, ANXIETY... ETC! your channel it's very informative, people must know this, and I'm gonna tell u people with panic attacks and depresion feel the same thing as you, people with this kind for issues we are like little kids, we came from a lot of trauma, troubles, so thanks for doing this channel! thank u so much! we learn to treat people like u and I hope some day the world understand that we are human beings and we have troubles! please people be kind! u never know what people are passing through!
When you first started talking about sharing information about trama between alters without permission, my heart stopped in my chest. That would be so horrifying. It's so upsetting that some people can't or don't understand that alters are separate people with separate memories. Thank you so much for this whole video, it is absolutely fantastic.
Today I just learned that a friend of mine has DID, and I was extremely shocked when he told me. I’ve been watching this channel for a while so I already did know some things about DID from the videos I watched so I was fortunately able to apply my knowledge from them, and he was happy that I was educated about it, and since I’ve known him for a while and he trusts me he was willing to show me two of his alters. I enjoyed talking to them and even though I was still in a state of shock I tried my best to remain respectful and aware of the situation, however even though I feel I did a good job at supporting him and his alters, I still feel I needed advice so I decided to watch this video, which I happen to have never seen before, and it was incredibly helpful. I don’t have DID so I don’t know from personal experience what it’s like but I’m trying to put myself in the perspective of one who does have it and this video helped me to further understand the appropriate way to interact with alters/systems in general. This video was very informative and I just wanna thank DissociaDID for making it, I love the channel and I really admire the work that they do ♥️
(Not demeaning this video in anyway, I loved it) Some of these are just ways you should treat any average person and the fact that the community has to highlight giving them basic courtesy and ask for what would be seen as normal social respect is just horrible. The stigma behind D.I.D only makes people believe that the alters or even the host are LESS than everyone or fragmented and in some cases this is true with undeveloped alters and systems, but it doesn't mean that they are limited and can't be like everyone else around them.
it's not just with DID, *any* disorder is viewed as an extremely debilitating condition that makes people uncapable of living in society. When in reality, it makes it harder for average people to relate to them, so average people want to erase them from society. Psychiatric clinics and hospitals were created to sponge any sort of undesired individual, even women who just betrayed their husbands, so people in society didn't have to see them or deal with them. And people got way too used to it.
I’m dating a system, and I have a notebook of their altars with things like triggers, no touch zones, and what they like and don’t. I’m doing my best to help them without “helping” them. Have a gorgeous day!
I really appreciate what you said about there being no such thing as silly or stupid triggers. I don’t have DID but I suffer from medical related PTSD and I am often very embarrassed or ashamed of the things that can cause my PTSD to “flare up.” Panic attacks are usually what I end up with but I can look and act like a crazy person and often nobody has any idea why except whoever is with me. I don’t really leave my house unless I’m with someone who understands my situation because I’m still dealing with so much that’s right at the surface. I’ve been pretty much bedridden for the last few days due to my condition and I’ve been binging your videos. You are a light in the darkness. Thank you for keeping me company, teaching me about a condition I knew little about, and bringing awareness and a positive light to mental healthcare in general. We need more people like you out there willing to speak their truth and show the world that mental health isn’t something to be feared or be ashamed of. It’s not a moral failing on our parts that our brains are wired a little differently, and there should be no stigma for seeing a doctor or therapist about whatever mental health issues arise over our lifetimes. It should be no different than seeking help for a physical ailment. I’ve gone off on a tangent (thank you meds) but I just wanted you to know that you are making my corner of the world a little better and I’m learning a lot. Keep doing you!
going beyond, it should no shame or stigma about any person seeking mental health therapy, there is no shame or stigma about going to the doctor for a basic exam to see if you have something you're not aware of. And so many people are unaware of so many problems that could be treated with therapy and have no idea of how much their lifes can change for the better with it.
AWESOME!!! Sharing this one straight away. Number 11 is across the board, joking about trauma is a no go at all times because there is absolutely zero that is funny about it. Thank you guys ❤️❤️❤️
I really needed this video 😣 I'm absolutely petrified of meeting someone with a System and saying or doing the wrong thing 😢 Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
My friend told me they were recently diagnosed with DID, and for the past three days I've been going down a bit of a research wormhole asking questions and finding out how to support them. Your videos have by far been the most helpful resource for clarifying any misconceptions I had about DID. Thank you for making this channel, you are doing some amazing work and I greatly admire you for the courage you and your alters have shown to talk about DID in such an open, non-judgmental and informative way. I also love the eye makeup!
i love learning more about this condition. i have a friend with did that i have known since far before i knew anything about did. back then i treated all of the system with respect but asked a lot of intrusive questions because i didn't understand, but having this information available has helped me understand more about him without making him uncomfortable. thank you for your contribution to science and helping the general population understand a very commonly misunderstood disorder.
I've been watching this channel for a while now, but I recently learned that one of my friends actually has DID, so now I've got a personal stake in understanding it. This channel has been extremely helpful in that regard, so thank you for making it!
Daaaaang!! I never even thought of the fact that you shouldn't share info with one alter that another alter told you. Thanks for pointing that out, i assumed it was okay but now i fully get why its not!
You guys are so wonderful. When I first got diagnosed, about 6 months ago, I was terrified but you guys normalize it and it makes it much less scary. So thank you so much for making me okay with this new part of my life.
I agree it can be very uncomfortable touching someone when they don't want to be touched. I don't have DID but I absolutely hate it when someone touches me when I don't want to be touched and can get very defensive and/or get in a fight or flight mindset.
i wanted to comfort someone with DID, depression, OCD and PTSD because they weren’t feeling well and i just researched for an hour what things could be offensive or triggering➰〰️➰ so thank you so much for this video, u helped me and definitely others a lot.
Ugh that waving hands in front of face thing... I mean honestly, would you whistle for a waiter/server? NO, hopefully not (they're people, not dogs). It's a similarly demeaning thing, to me/us. Very helpful video to share to singletons - thanks! ^_^
This made me realize I should probably stop talking to one of my friends as she disregards rules 4, 5, 11, 12, 13, and 14. Especially because with 14 I told them before to stop and not touch me because it gets alters (especially littles) stuck into the front and messes with our vision.
I have a long question about not deliberately causing a switch, so please bare with me: If an alter has a positive trigger, but they only front sometimes when they are made aware of this thing. For example, let's say an alter (B) likes a certain video game, but you've played this game with the host (or the alter you're currently hanging out with) and you want to play this game with them. You're not bothered but playing this game with B, but you don't want to force a switch. You know if you even asking about the game is risky, so even if you say "hey, do you wanna play this game even though B might front" could trigger it. How do you navigate that situation? Do you avoid mentioning it at all? Do you avoid all triggers positive and negative so you don't cause a switch?
It's all okay as long as you aren't trying to INTENTIONALLY trigger someone out!! That's where the issue lies! Accidental triggers happen all the time and are part of life, but if you are triggering on purpose simply because you want someone else to front, that's when it's problematic 💖
I recently found out that my partner has DID and this was so helpful and lovely! I love my partner so much and I want to support them and their alters the best I can and this video really helped! Thank you!
Thanks for the tips Chloe!! Was definitely good to learn how intentionally using positive triggers can be just as harmful as negatively triggering an alter :)
This is super helpful and so well done!!!! I’ve been in a serious relationship with a man with DID for close to three years. I remember when we first met how he would hide his DID. I never felt unsafe, but I suspected things were off because he seemed forgetful or absent minded. He wouldn’t wear his glasses consistently, despite him telling me that he doesn’t use contacts. There was one date that we had where he was behaving very child-like. At the time, I was assuming he was being silly and playful, so I played along. When we finally got to a point of intimacy, the next day I got this crazy angry text from him. He was referring to himself in a third person. I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t reply, but instead I thought about it for a while. I put two and two together and realized that he might be a DID case. I waited until we were in person to talk to him. I asked if there was something he needs to tell me. I showed him the text. That’s when he talked about his DID for the first time. I reassured him that it didn’t change how I felt about him. I told him that I wasn’t mad at the things that his alter - a primary protector - said to me. I said that it might make sense for him to talk to his mental health worker and get some advice. He withdrew for a lengthy period of time. He told me later on that he needed to square things with his system. Over time, I got to know his system. I learned *his* rules because each individual with DID has their own rules and etiquette. For example, I have an excellent relationship with his primary protector. He’s the gatekeeper for the system, but is very suspicious of outsiders and very cynical. I had to work very hard to earn his trust. His *persecutor* which is not my favorite term tbh. I prefer it to use offensive protector because he holds all of the pain and rage so that the rest of the system can function - is a challenging relationship for me because I can’t reason with him. He’s not capable of calm rational thought. He seldom fronts, but when he does, it’s usually because of a moment of crisis or perceived crisis, so it’s his cry for “HELP.” When the offensive protector fronts, I will calmly say “It sounds like you’re really having a tough time. I want to fix it, but I don’t know what to do. Is it okay if we talk about it with [primary protector]. The primary protector is almost always co-conscious when he’s not fronting (unless we’re having sex. He doesn’t like that and will frequently complain that we do it too much.) Anyway, primary protector will have some kind of conversation in the background with the offensive protector. Depending on weather or not the issue concerns me, the primary protector may or may not front to include me in the conversation and act as a go-between. More often than not, it’s dealt with behind the scenes. According to the host, the offensive protector is less bothered by my presence and is taking an interest in me behind the scenes. He’s not fronting as much if at all, but is staying co-conscious more and more. The little, which I call him the kiddo, absolutely loves me and I make special time for him and I. I pack little snacks and leave notes for him. He likes those things. Loving him means also loving and respecting his system. Just like he respects and loves me if I’m moody or not feeling well, I must treat his system with the same level of dignity. It’s possible to have a healthy and loving relationship with DID!
KayKayBayForever I found Rémy Aquarone, an Analytical Psychotherapist and Director of the Pottergate Centre for Dissociation & Trauma, based in Norwich, UK to be an excellent rescource in learning more about how to support loved ones with DID. His lectures and TH-cam videos are extremely insightful.
Question: are more adult alters ever co-conscious with littles? If so, if there more of an effort put towards keeping things PG (no cursing, etc), even though the littles aren’t fully out?
Whenever a little fronts in my system, there’s always another alter (usually our caregiver) that’s fronting or really close to the front to make sure if anything goes bad, they can say “nope we are getting out of here”
It is quite emotional watching this and realising Chloe is never going to do another video again. But Nin seems much healthier than Chloe was and so I'm very happy for her.
Last night someone I consider to be one of my best friends told me that she’s been worried and scared because she’s had several experiences that feel like DID. She said she didn’t want to self diagnose, she wants to find a therapist, but given current circumstances is having a hard time. She’s also got a lot of other stressors in her life right now. I have no experience with DID, but did my best to just listen to what she shared, and to assure her that I had no problem with this potentially being how her brain worked, and that if I encountered any of her alters I would be excited to meet them. But today the first thing I did was start googling. I love my friend, and I know that I don’t know anything about this. I don’t even know for sure that this is what’s going on with her. But it seems likely, and I want to be sure that I’ve learned everything I can about how to best love and support her in a way that feels good to her. I really really appreciate that you’re sharing your experience and the things that are helpful and harmful to you. I really appreciated having a starting point for how best to care for and love my friend as she goes through this. It is so important to me to care for the people I love to the best of my ability, and I didn’t have any knowledge for how to care for this. But I want to be the best supporter and friend and I can be, and I so appreciate the insight and advice you shared. I hope that I can be a supportive friend and that I can understand what my friend needs and looks for, and do my best to provide that. Thank you so much. ❤️
It’s somewhat unfortunate that you even have to discuss some of these topics, like touching someone without permission. It should just be common courtesy to treat people with respect no matter who they are... BUT this is obviously a great video, you really broke it down to even the tiniest of mistakes someone could make while interacting with someone with DID or other trauma related disorders. As usual, very informative and pleasant to listen to (had this on while cooking breakfast). Hope your little lip cut heals up! Haha
Came here because one of my best friends for seven years now has been diagnosed. We used to roleplay as kids with his alters that he said were just characters so I already know multiple of them. A lot of these tips are helping me to understand how all this works and the dos and donts and it’s helping keep things from becoming awkward or me making a terrible mistake. Thank you for the video!
I’m struggling so much at the moment I start therapy tomorrow but both my sister and my mum (my abuser) have disowned me I feel so lost and confused, I don’t even know where to start, I love this Chanel so much , I hope this can help my partner and who ever supports me in this mess I’m in Thank you
Consent is key. Even as children, it is so imperative to let them know that their body is theirs alone. Never, ever force touch in any way. Like, don't say, "Give Grandma a hug," Instead ask, "Do you want to give Grandma a hug?" Make sure they understand you're safe and let them know that you'll listen.
Thank you so much for making this video! I just recently told my best friends about my system and have been trying to find a good correct and informative video to show them to better explain everything and dos and donts and everything and this one is just what I needed to get across what I needed them to know!
thank you so so so much for this!! i don't know anyone who has DID... yet, but i want to be ready and know how to respond and be a good support in case i ever do meet someone with DID. i like to make people as comfortable as possible and this has taught me a lot. 💕
DissociaDID just took me to a whole new level of understanding DID with all the videos. Im gonna keep supporting or at least try to. Keep up the great education!
Hello :) I have a few questions that I wanted to ask in case you do another Q&A video, but if you have too many questions feel free to ignore mine because I do not have DID, so my questions are probably low priority. 1) How should one address you when they don’t know who is fronting? Would it offend any of the alters to be called Chloe? 2) do the littles know not to front when you are doing something that could be dangerous for them, like driving? Can the littles perform adult tasks? 3) I hope this isn’t offensive to ask but is Chloe the person who was, say, born into the body? 4) Do you have any alters that dislike fronting? 5) do you have any alters who are able to comfort Gregory? As a person with extreme anxiety I worry about him. (My grandfather, an Asian man, lived as a child through WWII and exhibits the characteristics that Chloe has described Gregory as having, so in a strange way I feel protective of him. I’m sorry if that’s strange, especially since I don’t know any of you and you don’t know me.) Side note (I’m sorry because this is really none of my business) I really hope Chloe and Nadia are able to mend their relationship. It must be difficult to share a body with someone who you aren’t getting along with. I love your videos and wish all the best for all of you!
Samantha Chang hi! ill answer for our system, feel free to ignore this :) 1. it depends who/which alter. generally though, no, theyre used to be calling the legal name of the original. 2.littles look through the eyes to check if its safe to front. they cant complete adult tasks as, they are children. 3. (talking about dissociadid, not our system lol) so chloe, (before did), was a person with a developing personality. due to trauma all of the personality just split to alters. the host our chloe, is not the original, but the closest to who it was. she just changed her name to chloe. 4. For us, yes.
I have just been bingeing on this channel, its so amazing and brave what your system is doing. So far i have met Chloe, Kyle, Jade and Sally and you are all such strong amazing people! Thank you for sharing. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and dissociate and depersonalise alot, i was considering if i had DID and this channel is grounded so well in fact and education that i feel confident in my diagnosis of BPD so thank you!
My best friend just told me that he has did so now I’m watching all your videos to learn more about it and now I’m really exited to meet his alters and I just want them to be as comfortable as they can around me. I have ptsd myself so at least i know how to avoid triggers.
I always wonder how you get stuff in the inmer world.. Like plants in Sallys garden or furniture to set up your rooms / clothes and books etc. Do you like image it or think of things you have seen in the outside world that you liked? And the books are they actual books that you could buy in stores or are they fairytale like stories practically made up by your mind but in a book form? Also do you eat inside? I hope i don't bother you with these kind of questions it's just really interesting for me to image how you spend your time on the inside😅🙆🏼♀️
This was really helpful and awesome! I don't know anyone with DID but I do have PTSD and relate a lot to people feeling like I have "silly" triggers. Thanks for rasing awareness!
Thank you for this vid. A new friend recently told me that they have the disorder and I found out that it was one of the alters that I became friends with. This is really really helpful.
This is a very well thought out and put together guide. Thank you very much for taking the time to create a resource for us to pass on to our friends and loved ones in order to help them understand us better!
I also find asking questions with multiple options can be helpful, even for people who don’t have did, like “do you wanna talk about blank, or we could talk about option #1 or #2” or “can I hug you? Or we could fist bump!” Stuff like that
I love this channel!! I initially got into DID when TH-cam recommended a 1960s interview with a woman with multiple personality disorder and I thought it was absolutely fascinating. I’m hoping to go into psychiatry and study different mental disorders so I’m glad TH-cam finally led me in the right direction (shocking I know). Seeing how mental disorders affect people and their every day lives is absolutely amazing and I love how you all explain how DID works.
Thank you for a great informative video This is so helpful. I'm now, professionally confirmed Osdd or did [can't and don't want to know more] and it's nice to find out how to help other parts of 'myself' - how to self talk better, so i understand and can teach my loved ones
Honestly, with the snapping, never do that to anyone having a panic attack or an episode, whether a DID switch, a bipolar episode, or a schizophrenic episode. Stop, its rude and won't help
Your videos are as educational and helpful as always! I love watching them and being able to understand more about DID. I don't have it myself, but I really hope that if I ever get the pleasure of meeting someone that has it, I'll be able to know what to do in certain situations. Sending you lots of love
I don’t have DID, but one of my closest friends does and I’ve been using your channel to help me understand her and her alters more. It’s been very helpful, thank you! I suffer from my own mental health issues - GAD, OCD and depression, and we’re able to support each other. Again, thank you!
my best friend since kindergarten discovered xe has DID (or something similar) a while ago... soon after, I met my first alter it's been really confusing for both of us but we're so lucky to have this channel and each other
one of my friends has a little who is like 10 or so and she sees me as an older brother and its the sweetest thing ever. all of the alters in that system are really really nice people. there are a lot of them that i haven't met or even heard of but i would genuinely love to meet all of them. when i found out my friend actually had DID i was confused and definitely surprised but after a week i was just like "yeah this is normal." i dont have alters myself but i treat every alter like they are their own person. i once compared the body to an apartment and all the alters are roommates and she said it was a pretty decent comparison. anytime one of the alters refers to someone outside the body as a "real person" i always kindly and politely reassure them that even tho they are an alter i still consider them a real person.
Thank you again for all you do. These are sometimes tough to watch because they're so real and can bring bad memories forward. I was wondering if maybe you could make a kind of "palette cleansing" video (or if there's already one, please point me in that direction somebody!) where we can watch something calming, over and over if we have to, and completely unrelated to triggers/trauma. That way we can stop by at that video to get ready to go back to the world a bit more put together.
here's what's super important, educate yourself, even if you don't know someone now who has DID, one day you might and it's better to be educated that way there are fewer barriers, watching this channel for a really really long time has made me want to go into specializing in DIDas a therapist and want to truly delve into this "disorder'. Thank you to the dissociaDID system for opening up my eyes to this world and teaching me and others so many things
That is such an excellent point about forced triggers to bring out certain alters! I have been wondering what yr opinions on glass [shamalan's sequel to split, not glass the individual in yr system] are, but this answers a big part of it. In the trailer, they show a behavioral psychologist forcing different alters to front, and it felt.... Invasive af. Listening to you, it basically sounds like a hypnotist snapping their fingers and getting you to dance for them without yr consent. That obviously isn't meant to diminish the validity of any of yr alters, but that's essentially how a fully integrated personality could relate to the experience.
Recently found out my partner has DID (we’ve been together for years and it’s really been something we’ve learned about together) and this channel is our main trusted source for this information and I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do, because it’s made a world of difference to us all
An online friend of mine told me they're a part of a system. A few of their alters have actually spoken to me. This video has really helped. I hope y'all are doing okay
I don't have DID but I'm binging your videos playlist after playlist. My mother and my psychiatrist once suspected I might have DID but it was proven that I didn't. That being said, I knew next to nothing about the DID. After an ex having schizophrenia I realized that some disorders aren't really talked about and are very stigmatized. So I'm watching all of your videos to make sure I know how to treat someone with DID with the utmost respect, which is all anyone out there can really ask for ❤
Thank yall so much for talking about this! I found your covering on touch and triggers to be very important for my system! My system is one of the few that has the capability of instead of freezing we go straight into fight mode. I have a problem with friends wanting to treat me too close and hugging not knowing who's out, or grabbing my arm, etc. I know they don't mean harm, but if they startle some of mine inside, they can get hit pretty hard or bit/scratched. And even my husband has used positive triggers before to call out certain ones inside. At one point I was co conscious when he tried it and listened to our own Ruby tell him off for being rude to me. :) I love my inner family! LoL! We might not always get along, but I always know they have my back!
thank you for this. today in a ps4 party i met two new friends with DID and was there for 3 switches and wasn't sure how to react, so i'm glad i'm a bit more educated now. hopefully the next time i speak to them they'll feel a bit more welcomed ^^ so thank you for this
Thank you soooooo much! This is amazing. I've been struggling with DID for so very long. Back in the 90's when i first discovered that I had DID, I read a lot about healing from abuse, It only helped a little, and I have struggled on my own, some good therapists, lots of bad ones. Im so excited that more real information is now out there. Im so amazed at the bravery of those coming out. Wow! I agree with everything you say in this video! So right on!
I cannot say how much this has helped, I noticed that I was doing some things wrong with chatting with a friend with DID and I wanted to help them love themselves, I must say that this has helped me a lot.
Oh my god, I feel less lonely hating physical touchs on the neck... It's just terrible for me, but I feel silly when I explain it... People generally don't understand and think that I'm over reacting, because "it's just your neck"... I was feeling terrible tonight, so I watched this video again, your positivity helps me ❤️
I came to this video because I know someone and I want to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong since I'm very new to this and I'm still learning all I can about it, I'm relieved to find that I haven't been doing anything wrong and I learned a few new things from this video as well so thank you
We, well at this point I have a friend (and it's wavering) who on the day I told them about my DID I had just gone through more trauma but plans were already made and in our situation we couldn't cancel. I told them about us after I switched at there home. They ended up meeting an learning about quite a few alters that day and they said my little was really cool (I have them a extremely large amount of trust to just tell them and even more to give them info on my littles) then she got bored of sitting in her room (she had just moved so it wasnt set up and it had nothing to do) so she started trying to get my little out by playing their favorite song and giving us plushs an I was telling her "stop don't do this this is bad to do" but she continues and my little did come out and didn't know that had happened so they go what they wanted and now I'm scared that they will try to do that again
Hi! I never knew this condition existed but wow, I know you must be used to it now but it must’ve been so scary! I can’t even begin to imagine what DID is like. You explain it so well and it’s interesting watching your videos, I think you and people with DID are so brave! much love, to you all 😃 x
It's amazing how you work to put this information in a way that everyone understands. I'm really glad you did this video, it helps a lot not only in "real life" but also on the internet. They are incredible and wonderful people striving hard to have a good life and everyone plays an important role and in relation to the video that Kyle made I can feel the weight of it and that is what I have to reaffirm: YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! Ps: not very good in english sooo sorry :p
I had an intense amnesia memory recently which brought back a part of my life which was hidden from me. It was triggered by a casual conversation with acolleague about our children and school classes and I recalled just that class for me decades ago on a particular day where I had a blackout and had behaved abnormally, opening myself emotionally. This revealed to me why others treated me in a certain way later even years later and my behaviour based on my subconscious memories related to them. My alter, as I must call it, became inappropriately intimate with them, without my knowing it, or anyone ever later informing me. As this alter never resurfaced along with its emotional openness, loving attitude, this situation confused, destroyed my relationships later as memories, behaviours were expected that were simply not available to them. Casanova for a day and back to bookworm, wallflower for life in high school is disastrous. But now, strangely, decades later, I had this feeling of love to someone in my heart, whom I had resented for decades, from my past. My heart had just opened up for a day, then closed till I started opening up recently due to my spiritual awakening. I feel so happy to forgive and forget and to be able to newly to relate to such a hard time in my life. Thank you for your vlogging. My limited DID type in youth was nevertheless very difficult and destructive for my development. Part of my personality tried to break out of a cage of loneliness, suppression, built to protect me from abusive behaviour. But only inapropriately and very short term with amnesia. Total blackout. Maybe bits and pieces will return over years as needed, God willing. I find it hard to imagine constantly switching the whole day through. I uppose this phenomenon comes about in all different forms.
The sad thing is my friend with DID lives far away, we only communicate with text, so it can be hard to help out and understand when we’re far away. But this video is still so helpful! I’m so happy this channel exists ❤️❤️
This video is so valuable, I know supporters have said to me before that its difficult to know exactly how to help and so I'm pretty sure they are going to want to watch this video. I feel like this video (along with so many of your others) should be suggested to people when they first get diagnosed or are suspected to have DID/OSDD, sometimes when you are first coming to terms with things like this it can be hard to actually know and articulate to others what is and isn't helpful (it was for me anyway), I know something like this would have been immensely helpful when we first found out I had DID (of course it is still super helpful now as well though!). Thank You!
So... My fiance has DID and.. i didn't know there were other people out there who had alters, until now but.. i just realized why they're so unhappy at times... I messed up... Big time.. some of the things you said about the no go's and some of the bad stuff like having favorites and asking for a different alter, and doing the positive trigger thing... i did all those and.... Im going to apologise to them when they wake up... Theyre asleep right now but... I want tk to make it up to them... And they can all be mad at me if they want, i did something bad and i deserve whatever sticks and stones they may want to throw, im so sorry.. i want them to know that... I only heard about DID today but ive known their alters for years.. and i wish i seen this video sooner to stop me from making those mistakes, so thank you for making this video, you have no idea how much it means to me and them, please keep making videos as long as you feel like it, thank you so much
Thank you so much for this video! I may not know someone with the illness now, but I want to be ready in case I do. I'm sure they would have dealt with a lot of misunderstanding before meeting me, so I wanna be good to them. Also, I HEAVILY relate to Kyle with the food thing.
I love so much the effort that you put into making your videos! I have anxiety and for a while I had PTSD so where you talk on being asked to be touched or how to be comforted then that really struck home for me :-) thank you for everything you do to bring awareness!
So, I had this situation where I kind of had to force an alter out for my SO?(still figuring that out) because they were in a situation where their protector was needed to handle a family situation. It made me feel SO bad, but the host needed it to happen. I don't even know how the other alters felt about it, but the host was so adamant about needing the protector. Even though protector was chill about it, I still feel bad.
When I found out my friend had DID I was a little shocked, but talking to her and her alter and watching your videos helped me understand her. I now know what causes her to switch and I am friends with her alter^^ Honestly guys even if it sounds scary at first people with DID can be the most amazing friends if you don’t let that scare you away.
One of my alters actually split off to herself in my early teenage years. I always thought of this as late in life. My therapist says it's most likely a result of the prior splits and "layers of trauma". I feel like I'm strange at times, and am wondering if anyone else has had this as part of their DID.
"You don't need to know someone's past to understand them, and you don't need to understand them to respect them." Very true words and relevant to everybody.
Very black and white thinking . I altleast one to know some good moments from someones past , actions make a person
@@comrademartinofrappuccino I can't make sense of what you said.
Seems logical. The folowing text is in dutch : ik heb gezegd dat ik vindt dat je erg zwart wit denkt. I zou minstens sommige goede herringen willen weten , alleen maar een slecht verleden klinkt zwart wit goed of slecht. Wat je met je leven doet maakt een perssoon meer dan zijn herringen
Rebekah Paul So true. I’ve been in a relationship with a man with DID for three years and I still don’t know the details of his past. Tbh, he may not have access to those memories anyway, those are most likely being held by one or more of the alters. Making them talk about only re-traumatizes them, so it’s not worth satisfying my curiosity.
'Treat every new alter fronting as if a new person has walked into a room' extremely helpful!
How do I deal with it if I’m very sociallly ackward
@@theonewiththecrazyidk8413 you should still try. Introduce yourself if you can.
For the snapping thing, 100% never do that. Ever.
We were switching and got the snapping in face thing,
We punched them even tho were great friends.
A large part of trauma was that snapping in face thing.
And Tori our protector is a fight response 10/10.
He apologized multiple times,
But still, you never know where someone is coming from.
(This is everywhere sorry)
snapping seems to be triggering to people who don't even suffer from trauma i can't imagine how scary that would be during dissociation
That sounds rude of them
I have physical protectors and they usually front often. So if you do the snappy thing either
1) You get a “what the frick?”
or
2) A punch or slap in the face
Whichever one that fronts you’ll get a different response.
I’m not a system, but I dissociate a lot due to childhood trauma. When you did that snappy thing it startled me because thats what people have been doing to me all my life, and its a bit terrifying to be forced out of it. There is always a good reason for people dissociating, and others don’t know, or need to know, why. Be kind. The human brain is design for one purpose : to help us live another day. Dissociation is the brain’s way of keeping us sane and safe. Embrace it.
Luna Sears I agree I disassociate but don't think I'm DID and people doing that shit is fucked up.
Also people being cruel and pushing you then getting upset when you go all robotic because you can't handle feelings anymore like if you behave like an asshole the person will want to leave. And those of us with trauma leave internally.
My boyfriend shakes me sometimes when i shut down
The Illusion: you need to explain to him that what he is doing is hurting you psychically. Shutting down is your mind’s way of taking care of itself and you must have that time to regroup. It has nothing to do with him. If he doesn’t care about or respect this boundary, even if he doesn’t understand it, he’s not the right partner for you. Someone did this to me once and I was so rattled I started crying. At the time I did not know why, but I know now.
I dont have DID but i also dissociate. And ive found it very hard and annoying, and today was kinda bad at work. I was feeling so upset about it, and just wanting to feel "normal" but this has made me feel much better❤
that hand snapping thing brings me an anger from another world, and I don't even dissociate
I cannot thank you enough for mentioning the fact that you cannot scare us! I don’t have DID, but I do suffer from PTSD and people seem to think it’s so funny to scare me because I scare so easily and I freak out so badly. ITS NOT FUNNY. It’s terrifying! Leave us alone, please. THANK YOU Chloe for mentioning that!!!
Anna Middleton I hate people who find that amusing as its cruel. Amd when I see people fo it to others I wanna hit them as it's like don't be an asshole. It's not funny to scare someone. That's not ok.
HUGE yes!! as someone who suffers from DID i can highly agree that people yelling or trying to scare me as a joke can be quite triggering. it can also cause tons of other unwanted reactions like: lashing out, flashbacks, overwhelming anxiety and sudden panic. to name a few. i can't speak for anybody but myself so take it with a grain of salt but!! loud noises/yelling are amongst my most bothersome trigger(s). purposely triggering someone is never okay, mentally ill or not. please respect one another and be kind to everybody you encounter. you never know how grand your impact on others can truly be. have a good day everyone ^-^
I also have PTSD and I completely agree!
It is cruel. Being terrified is not fun. It is painful.
Anna Claire is everybody who has a hypersensitive startle reflex always somebody who has trauma or has been thru some sort of abuse? If that’s not necessarily always the case, could it be at least a strong indication of that?
I recently found out I really do have DID, and I have at least 7 alters. It's been kind of difficult, but a close friend of mine has been really understanding. I'll be sure to show her this video 😊
So how'd you find out after so long exactly. What made you realize
We were recently officially diagnosed with DID, too, except we've known about it since childhood. People we have told have been so understanding when we explain it, it's inspired us to create day-in-the-life and videos like this one. Good luck with your journey from us all.
- Olivia.
Man, i'll have to show this to my friends, they just don't get it, i recently found out as well. cheers
- lizzie
If you don’t wanna answer this, I completely understand. My best friend has DID and has slowly opened up to me about it over a few years. I can’t tell if and when I’ve met other alter but I’d like to reach out to the others to let them know that I understand and that they can trust me when they’re out. Is there a good way to start introduce myself to alters? How do I know when it’s not the host? I think the system is still trying to imitate the host most of the time.
@@SamanthaFierke i have the same situation with my best friend. i reassured them that i won't walk away when another person fronts and that it's okay if an alter doesn't like me. the host recently told me that even the sceptic alters don't feel even slightly threatened by me and i also met some littles which is a huge compliment to me. it also took years, but this is okay and i understand it. i have also childhood trauma and i'm autistic (that means also trauma from beeing bullied) which means i know how shitty people treat you when you're diffrent and i don't want anyone to feel like i did so i'm extra careful and gentle.
if I was you i'd ask the system themself how they wanted to be treated. the system i'm friends with and i rely on clear, violent-free communitcation. i'd say: "hey xyz i'd like to get to know your system and the alters if it's okay for all of you. i want to make sure, you are all comfortable with me and i don't want to mistreat any of you [i always give a reason so they know my motives]. can i ask you some questions? for example: have i met other alters and if yes do they have different names? would you or they like to tell me so i can adress them right? is there anything i can do better? (...) but it's completly okay and valid if you're not ready to open up about this. i don't want you to feel pressure from me, just know i'm here for you all and i'm willing to make the effort to get to know more alters and their boundaries!"
example of our communication: recently i had birthday and the host changed since last year for reasons i won't share. as a consequence the name "abc" didn't match anymore since they didn't front anymore. a "new" alter became host ("def") which i also adressed as this after they told me that's their name. i invited them to my birthday party and asked them which name to call them since my other friends know them as "abc" and if i should ask my other friend to call dem "def" now. they answered they'd rather be called at social gatherings "ghi" bc sometimes they switch and the person out didn't feel adressed so they picked the systemname as such. and i could tell people who i trusted to react understanding to this (which are almost all except one person i didn't know that good since it was a quite new contact).
so yeah, sorry for the wall of text but this is how we communicate and i hope this was some kind of helpful to anyone xD
My partner has a little that is very young, maybe 4 or 5 years old. He shows up quite randomly however I've noticed that he usually fronts to me if he's in need of comfort or very excited about something such as getting a gift or showing me some art he created. It took a while for me to start noticing the pattern but now I can recognize his mannerisms better and I kick into a bit of a mom mode (he has told me that since he has a mommy, I'm his grandma which honestly makes me so happy. I call him my little Cupcake). A few people think it's odd because I'm not in a romantic relationship with the host or the system as a whole but only one alter with a friendship or even family dynamic with many of her other alters, however I see it a bit like simply having a nonconventional family group. I absolutely love your videos and am very grateful for the information you present for those who are new to DID or are learning to cope with DID so they know they most definitely aren't alone.
I don't think that's strange at all. Integrated people have relationships where they play a lot of roles in each other's lives at different time points: friend, lover, mother, protector etc etc. Everyone in a system is actually different parts of the one person that you love, so it's perfectly normal to play different roles in his life depending on what he needs (or in other words who's fronting) if you ask me.
Mi wife system has 9 alters. I have a relationship with 4 of them (none of them is the host) but is not hard to understand. You just need to be patient and feel a strong love. I already got used to it
@@josuereyes7622 can i ask you a question? if not, it's completly okay to just ignore me!!
how does the host feel about you?
Thank you for saying that its nice to know there's allies out there
I really wanted to see the tips so I can help people with DID. I really want them to feel safe
I am cool with someone with did and their alters prefer to be treated as separate people which i do and have grown close to them. People may disagree with this but I just see them as separate beings sharing a body
This can be harder to do in closer relationships. Although it is the goal, when a switch happens during an important conversation or a hard time in the partners life (death in the family or health problems), it can make it harder to remain patient and treat every alter as separate people.
ie) my partner (host) and I were trying to have a baby and during an important conversation about health and such, his little personality took over and the entire conversation had to be put on hold. While I would love to say I didn't get frustrated, I am human and did get a little irritated at such an important conversation being put on hold.
@@kitc.3104 I understand you and I respect your opinion. We all might get irritated sometimes. But do remember that, you are a really good partner. Trust me.
You are awesome!
First, I LOVE the eyeshadow! 😍 Second, this video seemed like it was kind of hard to film -- you discussed or referenced so many negative triggers and trauma. That's really brave of you to do. So I just wanted to say that I respect and appreciate the effort you put into this video, Chloe. I'm sure it will help a lot of people!
Thank you so much 💖💖💖💖😭
I called this video (if it was mine) "15 WAYS To SUPPORT Someone With DID PSTD, ANXIETY... ETC! your channel it's very informative, people must know this, and I'm gonna tell u people with panic attacks and depresion feel the same thing as you, people with this kind for issues we are like little kids, we came from a lot of trauma, troubles, so thanks for doing this channel! thank u so much! we learn to treat people like u and I hope some day the world understand that we are human beings and we have troubles! please people be kind! u never know what people are passing through!
When you first started talking about sharing information about trama between alters without permission, my heart stopped in my chest. That would be so horrifying. It's so upsetting that some people can't or don't understand that alters are separate people with separate memories. Thank you so much for this whole video, it is absolutely fantastic.
Today I just learned that a friend of mine has DID, and I was extremely shocked when he told me. I’ve been watching this channel for a while so I already did know some things about DID from the videos I watched so I was fortunately able to apply my knowledge from them, and he was happy that I was educated about it, and since I’ve known him for a while and he trusts me he was willing to show me two of his alters. I enjoyed talking to them and even though I was still in a state of shock I tried my best to remain respectful and aware of the situation, however even though I feel I did a good job at supporting him and his alters, I still feel I needed advice so I decided to watch this video, which I happen to have never seen before, and it was incredibly helpful. I don’t have DID so I don’t know from personal experience what it’s like but I’m trying to put myself in the perspective of one who does have it and this video helped me to further understand the appropriate way to interact with alters/systems in general. This video was very informative and I just wanna thank DissociaDID for making it, I love the channel and I really admire the work that they do ♥️
One of my friends immediately watched this video after I told her I have DID and I can't express how grateful I am for that
Aww thatsnso sweet
(Not demeaning this video in anyway, I loved it) Some of these are just ways you should treat any average person and the fact that the community has to highlight giving them basic courtesy and ask for what would be seen as normal social respect is just horrible. The stigma behind D.I.D only makes people believe that the alters or even the host are LESS than everyone or fragmented and in some cases this is true with undeveloped alters and systems, but it doesn't mean that they are limited and can't be like everyone else around them.
it's not just with DID, *any* disorder is viewed as an extremely debilitating condition that makes people uncapable of living in society. When in reality, it makes it harder for average people to relate to them, so average people want to erase them from society.
Psychiatric clinics and hospitals were created to sponge any sort of undesired individual, even women who just betrayed their husbands, so people in society didn't have to see them or deal with them. And people got way too used to it.
Sending this to everyone I plan on telling about my DID.
I’m dating a system, and I have a notebook of their altars with things like triggers, no touch zones, and what they like and don’t. I’m doing my best to help them without “helping” them. Have a gorgeous day!
That's brilliant!
I really appreciate what you said about there being no such thing as silly or stupid triggers. I don’t have DID but I suffer from medical related PTSD and I am often very embarrassed or ashamed of the things that can cause my PTSD to “flare up.” Panic attacks are usually what I end up with but I can look and act like a crazy person and often nobody has any idea why except whoever is with me. I don’t really leave my house unless I’m with someone who understands my situation because I’m still dealing with so much that’s right at the surface.
I’ve been pretty much bedridden for the last few days due to my condition and I’ve been binging your videos. You are a light in the darkness. Thank you for keeping me company, teaching me about a condition I knew little about, and bringing awareness and a positive light to mental healthcare in general. We need more people like you out there willing to speak their truth and show the world that mental health isn’t something to be feared or be ashamed of. It’s not a moral failing on our parts that our brains are wired a little differently, and there should be no stigma for seeing a doctor or therapist about whatever mental health issues arise over our lifetimes. It should be no different than seeking help for a physical ailment.
I’ve gone off on a tangent (thank you meds) but I just wanted you to know that you are making my corner of the world a little better and I’m learning a lot. Keep doing you!
going beyond, it should no shame or stigma about any person seeking mental health therapy, there is no shame or stigma about going to the doctor for a basic exam to see if you have something you're not aware of. And so many people are unaware of so many problems that could be treated with therapy and have no idea of how much their lifes can change for the better with it.
AWESOME!!!
Sharing this one straight away.
Number 11 is across the board, joking about trauma is a no go at all times because there is absolutely zero that is funny about it.
Thank you guys ❤️❤️❤️
I really needed this video 😣 I'm absolutely petrified of meeting someone with a System and saying or doing the wrong thing 😢
Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
My friend told me they were recently diagnosed with DID, and for the past three days I've been going down a bit of a research wormhole asking questions and finding out how to support them. Your videos have by far been the most helpful resource for clarifying any misconceptions I had about DID. Thank you for making this channel, you are doing some amazing work and I greatly admire you for the courage you and your alters have shown to talk about DID in such an open, non-judgmental and informative way. I also love the eye makeup!
i love learning more about this condition. i have a friend with did that i have known since far before i knew anything about did. back then i treated all of the system with respect but asked a lot of intrusive questions because i didn't understand, but having this information available has helped me understand more about him without making him uncomfortable. thank you for your contribution to science and helping the general population understand a very commonly misunderstood disorder.
I've been watching this channel for a while now, but I recently learned that one of my friends actually has DID, so now I've got a personal stake in understanding it. This channel has been extremely helpful in that regard, so thank you for making it!
Daaaaang!! I never even thought of the fact that you shouldn't share info with one alter that another alter told you. Thanks for pointing that out, i assumed it was okay but now i fully get why its not!
Yeah I never did but I thought it was like knowledge they shared but no it's very rpng
Agree 100%. Triggering parts out without system's consent is mind control, you just don't do that.
You guys are so wonderful. When I first got diagnosed, about 6 months ago, I was terrified but you guys normalize it and it makes it much less scary. So thank you so much for making me okay with this new part of my life.
We are very thankful for this channel. It helped us a lot after we've been diagnosed and started therapy. I hope you can be happy and safe as well.
I agree it can be very uncomfortable touching someone when they don't want to be touched. I don't have DID but I absolutely hate it when someone touches me when I don't want to be touched and can get very defensive and/or get in a fight or flight mindset.
i wanted to comfort someone with DID, depression, OCD and PTSD because they weren’t feeling well and i just researched for an hour what things could be offensive or triggering➰〰️➰
so thank you so much for this video, u helped me and definitely others a lot.
Ugh that waving hands in front of face thing... I mean honestly, would you whistle for a waiter/server? NO, hopefully not (they're people, not dogs). It's a similarly demeaning thing, to me/us. Very helpful video to share to singletons - thanks! ^_^
This made me realize I should probably stop talking to one of my friends as she disregards rules 4, 5, 11, 12, 13, and 14.
Especially because with 14 I told them before to stop and not touch me because it gets alters (especially littles) stuck into the front and messes with our vision.
I have a long question about not deliberately causing a switch, so please bare with me:
If an alter has a positive trigger, but they only front sometimes when they are made aware of this thing. For example, let's say an alter (B) likes a certain video game, but you've played this game with the host (or the alter you're currently hanging out with) and you want to play this game with them. You're not bothered but playing this game with B, but you don't want to force a switch. You know if you even asking about the game is risky, so even if you say "hey, do you wanna play this game even though B might front" could trigger it. How do you navigate that situation? Do you avoid mentioning it at all? Do you avoid all triggers positive and negative so you don't cause a switch?
It's all okay as long as you aren't trying to INTENTIONALLY trigger someone out!! That's where the issue lies! Accidental triggers happen all the time and are part of life, but if you are triggering on purpose simply because you want someone else to front, that's when it's problematic 💖
I recently found out that my partner has DID and this was so helpful and lovely! I love my partner so much and I want to support them and their alters the best I can and this video really helped! Thank you!
your fanbase are literally so pure and lovely, the live chat was so nice the whole time
We were diagnosed in August 2018, and it's been really terrifying, but you guys's videos make me happy and "normal"
I just want to thank you for putting this info out here! I have made new friends with a did system and this is really helping!
Thanks for the tips Chloe!! Was definitely good to learn how intentionally using positive triggers can be just as harmful as negatively triggering an alter :)
This is super helpful and so well done!!!!
I’ve been in a serious relationship with a man with DID for close to three years. I remember when we first met how he would hide his DID. I never felt unsafe, but I suspected things were off because he seemed forgetful or absent minded. He wouldn’t wear his glasses consistently, despite him telling me that he doesn’t use contacts. There was one date that we had where he was behaving very child-like. At the time, I was assuming he was being silly and playful, so I played along.
When we finally got to a point of intimacy, the next day I got this crazy angry text from him. He was referring to himself in a third person. I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t reply, but instead I thought about it for a while. I put two and two together and realized that he might be a DID case.
I waited until we were in person to talk to him. I asked if there was something he needs to tell me. I showed him the text. That’s when he talked about his DID for the first time.
I reassured him that it didn’t change how I felt about him. I told him that I wasn’t mad at the things that his alter - a primary protector - said to me. I said that it might make sense for him to talk to his mental health worker and get some advice. He withdrew for a lengthy period of time. He told me later on that he needed to square things with his system.
Over time, I got to know his system. I learned *his* rules because each individual with DID has their own rules and etiquette. For example, I have an excellent relationship with his primary protector. He’s the gatekeeper for the system, but is very suspicious of outsiders and very cynical. I had to work very hard to earn his trust. His *persecutor* which is not my favorite term tbh. I prefer it to use offensive protector because he holds all of the pain and rage so that the rest of the system can function - is a challenging relationship for me because I can’t reason with him. He’s not capable of calm rational thought. He seldom fronts, but when he does, it’s usually because of a moment of crisis or perceived crisis, so it’s his cry for “HELP.” When the offensive protector fronts, I will calmly say “It sounds like you’re really having a tough time. I want to fix it, but I don’t know what to do. Is it okay if we talk about it with [primary protector]. The primary protector is almost always co-conscious when he’s not fronting (unless we’re having sex. He doesn’t like that and will frequently complain that we do it too much.) Anyway, primary protector will have some kind of conversation in the background with the offensive protector. Depending on weather or not the issue concerns me, the primary protector may or may not front to include me in the conversation and act as a go-between. More often than not, it’s dealt with behind the scenes. According to the host, the offensive protector is less bothered by my presence and is taking an interest in me behind the scenes. He’s not fronting as much if at all, but is staying co-conscious more and more. The little, which I call him the kiddo, absolutely loves me and I make special time for him and I. I pack little snacks and leave notes for him. He likes those things.
Loving him means also loving and respecting his system. Just like he respects and loves me if I’m moody or not feeling well, I must treat his system with the same level of dignity. It’s possible to have a healthy and loving relationship with DID!
Gia Kürstenschweizer Thanks for this comment. :) I’m suspecting that my partner has some form of DID, and this comment helped me.
KayKayBayForever I found Rémy Aquarone, an Analytical Psychotherapist and Director of the Pottergate Centre for Dissociation & Trauma, based in Norwich, UK to be an excellent rescource in learning more about how to support loved ones with DID.
His lectures and TH-cam videos are extremely insightful.
Question: are more adult alters ever co-conscious with littles? If so, if there more of an effort put towards keeping things PG (no cursing, etc), even though the littles aren’t fully out?
oh yes definitely
Whenever a little fronts in my system, there’s always another alter (usually our caregiver) that’s fronting or really close to the front to make sure if anything goes bad, they can say “nope we are getting out of here”
@@DissociaDID i had a question about that too, thanks!
It is quite emotional watching this and realising Chloe is never going to do another video again. But Nin seems much healthier than Chloe was and so I'm very happy for her.
Last night someone I consider to be one of my best friends told me that she’s been worried and scared because she’s had several experiences that feel like DID. She said she didn’t want to self diagnose, she wants to find a therapist, but given current circumstances is having a hard time. She’s also got a lot of other stressors in her life right now. I have no experience with DID, but did my best to just listen to what she shared, and to assure her that I had no problem with this potentially being how her brain worked, and that if I encountered any of her alters I would be excited to meet them. But today the first thing I did was start googling. I love my friend, and I know that I don’t know anything about this. I don’t even know for sure that this is what’s going on with her. But it seems likely, and I want to be sure that I’ve learned everything I can about how to best love and support her in a way that feels good to her. I really really appreciate that you’re sharing your experience and the things that are helpful and harmful to you. I really appreciated having a starting point for how best to care for and love my friend as she goes through this. It is so important to me to care for the people I love to the best of my ability, and I didn’t have any knowledge for how to care for this. But I want to be the best supporter and friend and I can be, and I so appreciate the insight and advice you shared. I hope that I can be a supportive friend and that I can understand what my friend needs and looks for, and do my best to provide that. Thank you so much. ❤️
OMG 19:46 THE SNAPPING. Beyond accurate of how that looks and I haaate it.
It’s somewhat unfortunate that you even have to discuss some of these topics, like touching someone without permission. It should just be common courtesy to treat people with respect no matter who they are... BUT this is obviously a great video, you really broke it down to even the tiniest of mistakes someone could make while interacting with someone with DID or other trauma related disorders. As usual, very informative and pleasant to listen to (had this on while cooking breakfast). Hope your little lip cut heals up! Haha
Came here because one of my best friends for seven years now has been diagnosed. We used to roleplay as kids with his alters that he said were just characters so I already know multiple of them. A lot of these tips are helping me to understand how all this works and the dos and donts and it’s helping keep things from becoming awkward or me making a terrible mistake. Thank you for the video!
I’m struggling so much at the moment I start therapy tomorrow but both my sister and my mum (my abuser) have disowned me I feel so lost and confused, I don’t even know where to start, I love this Chanel so much , I hope this can help my partner and who ever supports me in this mess I’m in
Thank you
Consent is key. Even as children, it is so imperative to let them know that their body is theirs alone. Never, ever force touch in any way. Like, don't say, "Give Grandma a hug," Instead ask, "Do you want to give Grandma a hug?" Make sure they understand you're safe and let them know that you'll listen.
i just met someone w/ did and wanna make sure i dont accidentally offend them so this was a great help!! ^^
Thank you so much for making this video! I just recently told my best friends about my system and have been trying to find a good correct and informative video to show them to better explain everything and dos and donts and everything and this one is just what I needed to get across what I needed them to know!
thank you so so so much for this!!
i don't know anyone who has DID... yet, but i want to be ready and know how to respond and be a good support in case i ever do meet someone with DID. i like to make people as comfortable as possible and this has taught me a lot. 💕
DissociaDID just took me to a whole new level of understanding DID with all the videos. Im gonna keep supporting or at least try to. Keep up the great education!
One of my really close friends has DID and this was really helpful so thank you
Hello :) I have a few questions that I wanted to ask in case you do another Q&A video, but if you have too many questions feel free to ignore mine because I do not have DID, so my questions are probably low priority.
1) How should one address you when they don’t know who is fronting? Would it offend any of the alters to be called Chloe?
2) do the littles know not to front when you are doing something that could be dangerous for them, like driving? Can the littles perform adult tasks?
3) I hope this isn’t offensive to ask but is Chloe the person who was, say, born into the body?
4) Do you have any alters that dislike fronting?
5) do you have any alters who are able to comfort Gregory? As a person with extreme anxiety I worry about him. (My grandfather, an Asian man, lived as a child through WWII and exhibits the characteristics that Chloe has described Gregory as having, so in a strange way I feel protective of him. I’m sorry if that’s strange, especially since I don’t know any of you and you don’t know me.)
Side note (I’m sorry because this is really none of my business) I really hope Chloe and Nadia are able to mend their relationship. It must be difficult to share a body with someone who you aren’t getting along with.
I love your videos and wish all the best for all of you!
Samantha Chang hi! ill answer for our system, feel free to ignore this :)
1. it depends who/which alter. generally though, no, theyre used to be calling the legal name of the original.
2.littles look through the eyes to check if its safe to front. they cant complete adult tasks as, they are children.
3. (talking about dissociadid, not our system lol) so chloe, (before did), was a person with a developing personality. due to trauma all of the personality just split to alters. the host our chloe, is not the original, but the closest to who it was. she just changed her name to chloe.
4. For us, yes.
I'm so fascinated by this channel! Your all amazing and I learn so much. 💜
I have just been bingeing on this channel, its so amazing and brave what your system is doing. So far i have met Chloe, Kyle, Jade and Sally and you are all such strong amazing people! Thank you for sharing. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and dissociate and depersonalise alot, i was considering if i had DID and this channel is grounded so well in fact and education that i feel confident in my diagnosis of BPD so thank you!
I keep watching this over and over again. Thank you! I just imagine my friends and family seeing this and finally understanding me
My best friend just told me that he has did so now I’m watching all your videos to learn more about it and now I’m really exited to meet his alters and I just want them to be as comfortable as they can around me. I have ptsd myself so at least i know how to avoid triggers.
I always wonder how you get stuff in the inmer world.. Like plants in Sallys garden or furniture to set up your rooms / clothes and books etc.
Do you like image it or think of things you have seen in the outside world that you liked? And the books are they actual books that you could buy in stores or are they fairytale like stories practically made up by your mind but in a book form? Also do you eat inside?
I hope i don't bother you with these kind of questions it's just really interesting for me to image how you spend your time on the inside😅🙆🏼♀️
My brother describes it like a cloud with bunk beds
This was really helpful and awesome! I don't know anyone with DID but I do have PTSD and relate a lot to people feeling like I have "silly" triggers. Thanks for rasing awareness!
Thank you for this vid. A new friend recently told me that they have the disorder and I found out that it was one of the alters that I became friends with. This is really really helpful.
This is a very well thought out and put together guide. Thank you very much for taking the time to create a resource for us to pass on to our friends and loved ones in order to help them understand us better!
Thank you so much for this video Dissociated! My friend has DID and I’ve been needing advice on how to support her. This video really helped me.
I also find asking questions with multiple options can be helpful, even for people who don’t have did, like “do you wanna talk about blank, or we could talk about option #1 or #2” or “can I hug you? Or we could fist bump!” Stuff like that
I love this channel!! I initially got into DID when TH-cam recommended a 1960s interview with a woman with multiple personality disorder and I thought it was absolutely fascinating. I’m hoping to go into psychiatry and study different mental disorders so I’m glad TH-cam finally led me in the right direction (shocking I know). Seeing how mental disorders affect people and their every day lives is absolutely amazing and I love how you all explain how DID works.
Thank you for a great informative video
This is so helpful. I'm now, professionally confirmed Osdd or did [can't and don't want to know more]
and it's nice to find out how to help other parts of 'myself' - how to self talk better, so i understand and can teach my loved ones
Honestly, with the snapping, never do that to anyone having a panic attack or an episode, whether a DID switch, a bipolar episode, or a schizophrenic episode. Stop, its rude and won't help
Your videos are as educational and helpful as always! I love watching them and being able to understand more about DID. I don't have it myself, but I really hope that if I ever get the pleasure of meeting someone that has it, I'll be able to know what to do in certain situations. Sending you lots of love
I don’t have DID, but one of my closest friends does and I’ve been using your channel to help me understand her and her alters more. It’s been very helpful, thank you! I suffer from my own mental health issues - GAD, OCD and depression, and we’re able to support each other. Again, thank you!
my best friend since kindergarten discovered xe has DID (or something similar) a while ago...
soon after, I met my first alter
it's been really confusing for both of us but we're so lucky to have this channel and each other
one of my friends has a little who is like 10 or so and she sees me as an older brother and its the sweetest thing ever. all of the alters in that system are really really nice people. there are a lot of them that i haven't met or even heard of but i would genuinely love to meet all of them. when i found out my friend actually had DID i was confused and definitely surprised but after a week i was just like "yeah this is normal." i dont have alters myself but i treat every alter like they are their own person. i once compared the body to an apartment and all the alters are roommates and she said it was a pretty decent comparison. anytime one of the alters refers to someone outside the body as a "real person" i always kindly and politely reassure them that even tho they are an alter i still consider them a real person.
Thank you again for all you do. These are sometimes tough to watch because they're so real and can bring bad memories forward. I was wondering if maybe you could make a kind of "palette cleansing" video (or if there's already one, please point me in that direction somebody!) where we can watch something calming, over and over if we have to, and completely unrelated to triggers/trauma. That way we can stop by at that video to get ready to go back to the world a bit more put together.
The zooms make me giggle but I realize they're for emphasis.
here's what's super important, educate yourself, even if you don't know someone now who has DID, one day you might and it's better to be educated that way there are fewer barriers, watching this channel for a really really long time has made me want to go into specializing in DIDas a therapist and want to truly delve into this "disorder'. Thank you to the dissociaDID system for opening up my eyes to this world and teaching me and others so many things
That is such an excellent point about forced triggers to bring out certain alters! I have been wondering what yr opinions on glass [shamalan's sequel to split, not glass the individual in yr system] are, but this answers a big part of it. In the trailer, they show a behavioral psychologist forcing different alters to front, and it felt.... Invasive af. Listening to you, it basically sounds like a hypnotist snapping their fingers and getting you to dance for them without yr consent. That obviously isn't meant to diminish the validity of any of yr alters, but that's essentially how a fully integrated personality could relate to the experience.
Recently found out my partner has DID (we’ve been together for years and it’s really been something we’ve learned about together) and this channel is our main trusted source for this information and I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do, because it’s made a world of difference to us all
An online friend of mine told me they're a part of a system. A few of their alters have actually spoken to me. This video has really helped. I hope y'all are doing okay
I don't have DID but I'm binging your videos playlist after playlist. My mother and my psychiatrist once suspected I might have DID but it was proven that I didn't. That being said, I knew next to nothing about the DID. After an ex having schizophrenia I realized that some disorders aren't really talked about and are very stigmatized. So I'm watching all of your videos to make sure I know how to treat someone with DID with the utmost respect, which is all anyone out there can really ask for ❤
Thank yall so much for talking about this! I found your covering on touch and triggers to be very important for my system! My system is one of the few that has the capability of instead of freezing we go straight into fight mode. I have a problem with friends wanting to treat me too close and hugging not knowing who's out, or grabbing my arm, etc. I know they don't mean harm, but if they startle some of mine inside, they can get hit pretty hard or bit/scratched. And even my husband has used positive triggers before to call out certain ones inside. At one point I was co conscious when he tried it and listened to our own Ruby tell him off for being rude to me. :) I love my inner family! LoL! We might not always get along, but I always know they have my back!
thank you for this. today in a ps4 party i met two new friends with DID and was there for 3 switches and wasn't sure how to react, so i'm glad i'm a bit more educated now. hopefully the next time i speak to them they'll feel a bit more welcomed ^^ so thank you for this
Thank you soooooo much! This is amazing. I've been struggling with DID for so very long. Back in the 90's when i first discovered that I had DID, I read a lot about healing from abuse, It only helped a little, and I have struggled on my own, some good therapists, lots of bad ones. Im so excited that more real information is now out there. Im so amazed at the bravery of those coming out. Wow! I agree with everything you say in this video! So right on!
I do not know anyone with DID, but this is great information. Much love to you all.
I cannot say how much this has helped, I noticed that I was doing some things wrong with chatting with a friend with DID and I wanted to help them love themselves, I must say that this has helped me a lot.
im struggling with a DID diagnosis and honestly hearing this makes me feel like a normal person thank you
Oh my god, I feel less lonely hating physical touchs on the neck... It's just terrible for me, but I feel silly when I explain it... People generally don't understand and think that I'm over reacting, because "it's just your neck"...
I was feeling terrible tonight, so I watched this video again, your positivity helps me ❤️
I came to this video because I know someone and I want to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong since I'm very new to this and I'm still learning all I can about it, I'm relieved to find that I haven't been doing anything wrong and I learned a few new things from this video as well so thank you
We, well at this point I have a friend (and it's wavering) who on the day I told them about my DID I had just gone through more trauma but plans were already made and in our situation we couldn't cancel. I told them about us after I switched at there home. They ended up meeting an learning about quite a few alters that day and they said my little was really cool (I have them a extremely large amount of trust to just tell them and even more to give them info on my littles) then she got bored of sitting in her room (she had just moved so it wasnt set up and it had nothing to do) so she started trying to get my little out by playing their favorite song and giving us plushs an I was telling her "stop don't do this this is bad to do" but she continues and my little did come out and didn't know that had happened so they go what they wanted and now I'm scared that they will try to do that again
Great video
Hi! I never knew this condition existed but wow, I know you must be used to it now but it must’ve been so scary! I can’t even begin to imagine what DID is like. You explain it so well and it’s interesting watching your videos, I think you and people with DID are so brave! much love, to you all 😃 x
It's amazing how you work to put this information in a way that everyone understands. I'm really glad you did this video, it helps a lot not only in "real life" but also on the internet. They are incredible and wonderful people striving hard to have a good life and everyone plays an important role and in relation to the video that Kyle made I can feel the weight of it and that is what I have to reaffirm: YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE!
Ps: not very good in english sooo sorry :p
I had an intense amnesia memory recently which brought back a part of my life which was hidden from me. It was triggered by a casual conversation with acolleague about our children and school classes and I recalled just that class for me decades ago on a particular day where I had a blackout and had behaved abnormally, opening myself emotionally. This revealed to me why others treated me in a certain way later even years later and my behaviour based on my subconscious memories related to them. My alter, as I must call it, became inappropriately intimate with them, without my knowing it, or anyone ever later informing me. As this alter never resurfaced along with its emotional openness, loving attitude, this situation confused, destroyed my relationships later as memories, behaviours were expected that were simply not available to them.
Casanova for a day and back to bookworm, wallflower for life in high school is disastrous. But now, strangely, decades later, I had this feeling of love to someone in my heart, whom I had resented for decades, from my past. My heart had just opened up for a day, then closed till I started opening up recently due to my spiritual awakening. I feel so happy to forgive and forget and to be able to newly to relate to such a hard time in my life. Thank you for your vlogging. My limited DID type in youth was nevertheless very difficult and destructive for my development. Part of my personality tried to break out of a cage of loneliness, suppression, built to protect me from abusive behaviour. But only inapropriately and very short term with amnesia. Total blackout. Maybe bits and pieces will return over years as needed, God willing. I find it hard to imagine constantly switching the whole day through. I uppose this phenomenon comes about in all different forms.
The sad thing is my friend with DID lives far away, we only communicate with text, so it can be hard to help out and understand when we’re far away. But this video is still so helpful! I’m so happy this channel exists ❤️❤️
This video is so valuable, I know supporters have said to me before that its difficult to know exactly how to help and so I'm pretty sure they are going to want to watch this video. I feel like this video (along with so many of your others) should be suggested to people when they first get diagnosed or are suspected to have DID/OSDD, sometimes when you are first coming to terms with things like this it can be hard to actually know and articulate to others what is and isn't helpful (it was for me anyway), I know something like this would have been immensely helpful when we first found out I had DID (of course it is still super helpful now as well though!). Thank You!
I was recently diagnosed with DiD and things that happened to me when I was younger makes sense now. I thought I was going crazy when I was younger
So... My fiance has DID and.. i didn't know there were other people out there who had alters, until now but.. i just realized why they're so unhappy at times... I messed up... Big time.. some of the things you said about the no go's and some of the bad stuff like having favorites and asking for a different alter, and doing the positive trigger thing... i did all those and.... Im going to apologise to them when they wake up... Theyre asleep right now but... I want tk to make it up to them... And they can all be mad at me if they want, i did something bad and i deserve whatever sticks and stones they may want to throw, im so sorry.. i want them to know that...
I only heard about DID today but ive known their alters for years.. and i wish i seen this video sooner to stop me from making those mistakes, so thank you for making this video, you have no idea how much it means to me and them, please keep making videos as long as you feel like it, thank you so much
Thank you so much for this video! I may not know someone with the illness now, but I want to be ready in case I do. I'm sure they would have dealt with a lot of misunderstanding before meeting me, so I wanna be good to them. Also, I HEAVILY relate to Kyle with the food thing.
Such helpful and wise advice! Thanks Chloe!
I love so much the effort that you put into making your videos! I have anxiety and for a while I had PTSD so where you talk on being asked to be touched or how to be comforted then that really struck home for me :-) thank you for everything you do to bring awareness!
This was amazing, well executed and very eloquent while still being concise. I really appreciate that you made this video!
- Olivia
So much good advice from you and so much love and support in the chat. This is our first time to a premiere and it was lovely. -T
So, I had this situation where I kind of had to force an alter out for my SO?(still figuring that out) because they were in a situation where their protector was needed to handle a family situation. It made me feel SO bad, but the host needed it to happen. I don't even know how the other alters felt about it, but the host was so adamant about needing the protector. Even though protector was chill about it, I still feel bad.
When I found out my friend had DID I was a little shocked, but talking to her and her alter and watching your videos helped me understand her.
I now know what causes her to switch and I am friends with her alter^^
Honestly guys even if it sounds scary at first people with DID can be the most amazing friends if you don’t let that scare you away.
One of my alters actually split off to herself in my early teenage years. I always thought of this as late in life. My therapist says it's most likely a result of the prior splits and "layers of trauma". I feel like I'm strange at times, and am wondering if anyone else has had this as part of their DID.