I remember when I was younger, my uncle would accuse me of being gay simply because I would sometimes, unknowingly, hold up my wrist limply while thinking. That man was super focused on that, I started being paranoid and making sure I never had my wrist like that, even though it wasn’t a big deal. That made me sympathize with gays because, I eventually snapped out of fearing that I was potentially gay, but I realized that those who *are* gay have it very hard and are easily targeted. The funny thing is, I never once saw my uncle with a woman, even when all of us in the family knew the woman that liked him, he would always hide from her, or tell us to tell her he ain’t at home whenever she would knock at the door. It started dawning on me, as I got older, that he was a closeted homosexual. He always liked to comment on my appearance, or always talk about male action movie stars. I don’t have a problem with gay men, but I don’t like men with internalized homophobia
It’s really powerful that you’ve reflected on your experiences and found empathy for others through them. It’s unfortunate that your uncle's comments caused you unnecessary stress, especially at a young age. It’s a reminder of how deeply words and attitudes can affect us. Your story highlights the complexities of identity and how society’s pressures can lead people to act in ways that might contradict their true selves. The idea that your uncle might have been struggling with his own identity while projecting his fears onto you is quite poignant. It’s a sad reality that many people feel they must hide who they are, and this results in projecting their own insecurities onto others and in the case of DL, it destroys trust and families. I wish the world had more of your empathy and the way you clearly express your views. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.
Thank you for this topic. I have never given this fact any thought. One more thing to consider if I ever decide to start dating again 😢 On the list if pros and cons, the cons side is ahead.
Y does my ex fit all 5 of these signs?!!! Another sign he displayed is having several BM’s and almost 50 & never settled down & spent a long time in prison. Glad I’m out of that mess😮
I also think that men that have alot of kids can possibly be dl as well. It's like they are trying to prove they are not gay by having alot of sex with women and having by babies
Certain cities I would not look to date Atlanta and DC are on the top. Really every guy I meet today I look over with a fine tooth comb. You never can be too careful. Meet his friends or take him around a gay friend or family member they will tell you.
This is a huge deal and this lady is serious.. you may think it would never be your man but I’m telling you this is huge now and every one of her points is extremely accurate.. the way they act around gay men changes vs how they act around straight men
I think ive been with several men who are on the dl. Especially the ex. He wanted a nal and he was always staying out late at night with his friends, one who happened to come out as bisexual a couple years. My mom always said she thought my dad may have been dl. She said he was always hanging out with gay guys.
I find it odd women often single out Atlanta as the gay BLK capital. Yet 99% of gay dudes who are here came from ALL over the country to live here. Read that again.
CHECK OUT TWO BOOKS THAT MAY GIVE MORE INSIGHT: 1-On The Down Low: A Journey Into The Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep With Men by J.L. King and 2-Beyond The Down Low: Sex, Lies and Denial in Black America by Keith Boykin
I'm terrified of dating because of this. I can't date again because of this. All my ex's have been EL and this is in AFRICA guys...like I'm traumatized
It is worse than ever!!! Everywhere...every city, every town, every country! And there really isn't a definite way of knowing if they are or not! I'm happily single.
Africa is very homophobic and uneducated on sexuality and things in general so I'm not surprised, it's unfortunate but this is a natural response to oppression
I remember when I was younger, my uncle would accuse me of being gay simply because I would sometimes, unknowingly, hold up my wrist limply while thinking. That man was super focused on that, I started being paranoid and making sure I never had my wrist like that, even though it wasn’t a big deal. That made me sympathize with gays because, I eventually snapped out of fearing that I was potentially gay, but I realized that those who *are* gay have it very hard and are easily targeted.
The funny thing is, I never once saw my uncle with a woman, even when all of us in the family knew the woman that liked him, he would always hide from her, or tell us to tell her he ain’t at home whenever she would knock at the door. It started dawning on me, as I got older, that he was a closeted homosexual. He always liked to comment on my appearance, or always talk about male action movie stars. I don’t have a problem with gay men, but I don’t like men with internalized homophobia
It’s really powerful that you’ve reflected on your experiences and found empathy for others through them. It’s unfortunate that your uncle's comments caused you unnecessary stress, especially at a young age. It’s a reminder of how deeply words and attitudes can affect us.
Your story highlights the complexities of identity and how society’s pressures can lead people to act in ways that might contradict their true selves. The idea that your uncle might have been struggling with his own identity while projecting his fears onto you is quite poignant. It’s a sad reality that many people feel they must hide who they are, and this results in projecting their own insecurities onto others and in the case of DL, it destroys trust and families.
I wish the world had more of your empathy and the way you clearly express your views. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.
@@HelenaPaschal missed you 💛, and thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you for this topic. I have never given this fact any thought. One more thing to consider if I ever decide to start dating again 😢 On the list if pros and cons, the cons side is ahead.
He was hoping you were gay too so he could feel more comfortable or worse so he could se xually abuse you in some way 😢
I dated a guy a few years back who gave me dl vibes i got out so fast I'd rather stay single i love my peace of mind and great health
Y does my ex fit all 5 of these signs?!!! Another sign he displayed is having several BM’s and almost 50 & never settled down & spent a long time in prison. Glad I’m out of that mess😮
I also think that men that have alot of kids can possibly be dl as well. It's like they are trying to prove they are not gay by having alot of sex with women and having by babies
Be hyper-vigilant cause if you were good to him, he will return.
What a strange time we live in
Strange and scary! This level of deception is putting lives and families at risk.
You forgot the church 🤔🤔🤔
Certain cities I would not look to date Atlanta and DC are on the top. Really every guy I meet today I look over with a fine tooth comb. You never can be too careful. Meet his friends or take him around a gay friend or family member they will tell you.
This is a huge deal and this lady is serious.. you may think it would never be your man but I’m telling you this is huge now and every one of her points is extremely accurate.. the way they act around gay men changes vs how they act around straight men
Helena is beutiful sooo the man on the dl has nothing to do with how attractive their partner is.
I think ive been with several men who are on the dl. Especially the ex. He wanted a nal and he was always staying out late at night with his friends, one who happened to come out as bisexual a couple years. My mom always said she thought my dad may have been dl. She said he was always hanging out with gay guys.
You are so pretty and so right!
I find it odd women often single out Atlanta as the gay BLK capital. Yet 99% of gay dudes who are here came from ALL over the country to live here. Read that again.
CHECK OUT TWO BOOKS THAT MAY GIVE MORE INSIGHT:
1-On The Down Low: A Journey Into The Lives of "Straight" Black Men Who Sleep With Men by J.L. King
and
2-Beyond The Down Low: Sex, Lies and Denial in Black America by Keith Boykin
I'm terrified of dating because of this. I can't date again because of this. All my ex's have been EL and this is in AFRICA guys...like I'm traumatized
It is worse than ever!!! Everywhere...every city, every town, every country! And there really isn't a definite way of knowing if they are or not! I'm happily single.
Africa is very homophobic and uneducated on sexuality and things in general so I'm not surprised, it's unfortunate but this is a natural response to oppression
So sad.. I’m married with kids, everything you said is accurate.. every single one of
Here's a sign, if he always want to try to start fights with gay men or men just coming out. I learned that in high school. Smh.
Check out a Movie entitled
Making Love featuring Kate Jackson, Harry Hamlin and Michael Ontkean from 1982.
You must live in Atlanta! LOL.
You must don't know that DL men are everywhere. I mentioned I live in Georgia, the entire state is not gay.
Atlanta is a known hot bed for homosexual shanigans