Jazakum Allahu Khair for this video, sister Nafisa. It so saddens me that Muslim men play the same games that non-Muslim men play while dating. Thank you for these warnings to young women looking for marriage.
Don't be stupid. She's a feminazi hijabi. All of her vlogs have an underlying misandry message. She is a total hypocrite as she also turns a blind eye to hijabi hypergamy, monkey branching and solipsism.
Honestly, I don't want a person who plays games, I don't have the energy to deal with it If being with him is like a psycological war, I'd rather be on my own What matters to me the most is respect, and not taking me for granted, if being with me is comfortable for him but he doesn't even try to make me feel comfortable then he doesn't respect me. Respect first, understanding and compatibility second, friendship third, and then love comes along the way. Your videos have much wisdom, Thank you for that.
All your suggestions are quite helpful. Some men do wish to get wifey benefits before getting married. Some ladies go to their house to cook, clean, wash dishes and do laundry. Some men are really looking for cook or cleaner as they are used to having their mothers clean after them but now they are living separately then they realize they can’t do anything in their own.
That’s true. Also, many men of this generation are confused. They have one foot in Islam, the other in secular culture. And their conduct reveals that even while their mouths say something else. Therefore, the cautious Muslim woman shouldn’t do anything not prescribed in Islam, including giving “wifey benefits.” This adherence to Islamic standards will weed out the bad ones.
I can’t understand why any woman thinks she has to cook & clean for someone she’s seeing. Why should you? You aren’t their wife and even if you were, do you believe you should wait on them? I didn’t when I was younger and I won’t start doing so now. If, they want or need a maid then they should hire one. Being helpful is one thing but to do someone’s laundry is ludicrous. What does it take today to wash your own clothes? Not much. The machine does the work. If they can’t handle something so simple they should be in an assisted living situation. I don’t heavy lifting g so for those things, they should be taken to a professional. Maybe the best thing is to suggest they hire a Maid to come in twice a month and handle most everything. If you have someone on a steady basis, it’s not expensive. I low because I did so when I worked very long hours. It’s so much better than buying myself a treat. ❤
Break up Game… dear Nafisa, you just described what I was recently going through. He was love bombing me and at every little thing he didn’t like about our conversation, he started “breaking up”. I accepted his choice and didn’t text back, wished him the best and ended the whole situation with him. After getting over him, he texted me again and wanted to meet up and everything. And again: I said I don’t meet up with him at his house, he started gaslighting me and telling me I AM the one who is disrespectful and blocked me randomly 😂 Pleaseeeeee gooooo, pleaaaaaase. Leave me and my mind alone.
I think another one you can mention that a lot of Muslim guys do, is saying they are looking for marriage, when in reality, they do not have the financial stability and are still living in their parents house, they are no where near ready for marriage, but pretend to be; you will notice when you meet them, rarely are the conversations about anything substantial, future plans, how you envision life ect.
I ❤ the boundaries you set and the standards you keep in place during the Islamic courtship process. Good emotionally healthy and marriageable Men will love and respect this too.
Now i remember seeing you in my dreams years ago. You are a god sent on this topic. I was a very troubled young girl because I learnt that my father is a narcissist and that’s how they behave. I decided to abandon him to god. As a young adult now i had a guy who would act in this similar manner it’s crazy how your brain notices it even in text messages. Women please know your worth. Toxic people will destroy you. If someone truly loved and cared about your existence they would rather meet you in person. Trust me. It’s not worth it to lower your value and be a virtual slave. I’d rather go to work and build my dream self and life to be ready for the person god intended for me. I believe i was specifically created and tailored for that special someone. And i will not water myself down for no man.
@@iammar1159 but I don't get ppl telling u "I have to be like tht to not get weak, I would be to you like before" n tht he know how this must be for me.. n than "I'm cold n writing without emotions. I don't wanna see u again n u would be disappointed cauze I would be different" within days He is palestine n said "I would marry u right away" but I wasn't happy him telling me I wouldn't be allowed to dress like I do anymore. Only long clothes, long swimsuit, no dancing, maybe also a second woman later. Toxic n controlling but still I'm disappointed cauze I belived his eyes n words n for me to turn emotions off like tht is crazy. U think this is also protection?
@@Calida2308A practising Muslim man will want a wife that is practising and dresses and behaves like a woman. A Muslim man can marry another wife , and they do it mainly when they don’t get intimacy/ sex. They usually get another wife for sex, so if you exhaust him in bed, he won’t be thinking about another woman!
I have a man who was showing so much attention and then suddenly playing breakup games and then so many times keeps repeating I can’t die for you but I’m like I never said to die for me.
Men play games even when married. My mum is going through harder times right now and literally at breaking point. Time for big change and a lot of cut offs for our sanity.
Assalamualaikum sister nafisa. Im from malaysia and i just discover your channel a few day/week ago. Im a girl and i like your content💗well done sister. Keep spreading more positivity and dakwah❤️may allah bless you🥰
Hey nafisa, I’ve given up on marriage because here in my country people are either not moral or just not a correct match- I’m fed up of searching for the bare minimum- I’m going to live a single Life for myself till I get to Jannah InshaAllah- I’m from Pakistan 🇵🇰
Give up on people you see around you because of your experience. However do not give up on relying on Allah and how he is capable of anything. You might have given up on your search. So give the search to Allah and believe in His ability to do what ever seems impossible in your eyes and from your experience. That is the test. Tahajjud, charity, istikhara all with the intention of being sent a spouse to you. Don’t close the door because shaytan makes the journey of finding a spouse feel so despairing. May Allah guide you to what is best for you my sis. And May He open doors for your that appear closed and May He bless you with a spouse that is everything you need and want. Allah is the subtle, Allah is the most generous Allah is Al fattah the opener, Allah is the capable. Allah is the giver of gifts Al Wahhab. Ameen ya Rab. ❤ I don’t mean to dismiss you I just hold onto hope for you and I feel your disappointment. I hope this message is comforting to you. ❤
All the hard working Pakistani men are in the gulf working hard and saving money and suffering under the abuse of employers but they want to get married cause they contacting me but I have a husband.🤷🏻♀️
You know what hurts most? An ex who keeps stringing me for 5 years, reaching out to me, playing these games you mentioned...and then to find out he married someone his family chose. The betrayal and deception were too much. But he's out of my life now.
Glad to hear he’s no longer in your life. Keep him out so he doesn’t block your blessings by occupying a space in your life that is meant for the right person.
Aisya - that is your fault for chasing a bad boy. You ignored all of his red flags because you were obsessed with his bad boy mojo. Take responsibility for your own bad decisions. I'm sure there were dozens of nice guys who wanted to marry you, but you kicked them in the balls and wrote them off.
That’s true sister,I was in those situations it took me a while to get out of that situation but alhamdullilah I’m out of that situation now and I’m happy now alhamdullilah.
I needed this video! May Allah SWT continue to use you for his good works and reward you for sharing these important tips for us Muslimas. It will definitely help me make wiser decisions in the future inshallah. I've experienced and few of these very recently and didn't recognize that it was a game tactic. Thank you sister!
Also, I remembered something. There are predators whom are looking for pious women... just pay close attention and if you aren't sure, ask an elder or a reliable friend who can work through it with you. Istikhara helps btw
@@InshasChoice your body is reacting negatively to someone’s energy you have met in your awake state. Our bodies are sacred and they sense what might bring harm to them.
@@n0426 100%. There are also physical symptoms right, such as a fever, racing heartbeat, hair falling out, skin issues throwing up/feeling nauseus, upset stomach etc when interacting and involved with someone not good for us. Unfortunately, we tend to ignore them
@@InshasChoice yes learning to build our self love-worth makes us able to get ourselves out of sticky situations because we have self-respect (protective shield) And we are secure in ourself and have a stable core.
Salaam sis, I'm a new subscriber and I'm loving your direct approach to getting the message across.. would love it if you can make a video on what games men play in marriages (short and long term marriages) Jazak Allahu Khyran, sending love to you and your family ❤
Assalamu alaikum. I got married to a man few months back. He seemed a good person. But hasn’t figured out his career yet. I got married as I believed Allah is going to provide us. But now He isn’t attracted to me, says he can’t love me. I’m living with his family. I quit my job for him. Cooking for him. Doing all the work to make his mum happy. Yet nothing seems good in our relationship. I’m constantly getting thoughts of getting a divorce. He keeps telling me I’m asking for too much when all I’ve asked for is love. What do I do?
Make duah to Allah. Work on yourself and your deen. Make Allah your focal point, not your husband. Give all your love to Allah and don’t cry for a human’s love!
Join a job and impress your seniors and colleagues with your skills rather than impressing his mom who can't help you... because she is the one giving a bad upbringing to her son. NOTE: No need to spend a penny of your salary to anyone of them. Keep it safe for your emergency needs.
@@BQ900 nah don’t tell him to shape up. Because if he wanted to he would have already shaped up and didn’t go too far with the disrespect. I say save yourself the headache. Playboys like it when you give them chances. But are they REALLY that worth wasting your precious youth on? That is not a man. Don’t water yourself down.
@@BQ900 may god bless you. I wasn’t really referring to you personally it was an addition to your comment. Yes they are precious. In today’s rotten world.
Thank you for these videos! Not going to text my ex anymore :) I want someone who values me, respects & encourages my islamic boundaries and loves me❤️
Women keep asking 'to be heard' or 'having a voice.' They are hurt and angry girls. This woman doesn't have to ask for it, she IS the voice. Today we must go to the ancient races to find what we've lost and they have not. They know themselves and they know - and love - their husbands, brothers, sons and how they might operate in today's world of modern relationships (or perhaps they always did!). Thank you Nafisa for your beauty inside and out.
Love your vids sis. Ghosting, games, lack of commitment, etc…most of these “red flags” also applies to women. Shocker!! My advice to all sisters, don’t overthink things. If you keep trying to look for faults, red flags, you will find them. Remember, Shaytan hates the idea of marriage. If people show you who they are, believe them. Lots of assumptions can be made from both sides. Ask clarifying questions. No one is perfect. Communication is key!!! Ask questions, and trust your gut and most of all trust in Allah.
Yeah we know but her audience is primarily women and the advice she gives is still very useful. Also she literally mentioned in the beginning of the video that both men and women are capable of these things lol. And I think it’s great that she made this video because there are probably hundreds of muslim men’s channels that give advice to boys/men about women (sometimes bad advice) and there aren’t nearly as many Muslim female channels who girls/women can look up to for advice and support.
@@iammar1159I never said what she said was wrong. I know this channel is geared towards women. It never hurts to reiterate something that’d be useful.
Just lovee her videos never disappoint 🫡✅Barakallahu Fiikum sis Nafisa’z ❤️Definitely need another video about the questions to ask at the talking stage please 🙏🏿
«Thank you and goodbye and close that chapter»😎✨👍👏👏👏 Thank you sis, I enjoyed watching your video❤ You made me laugh😁 I'm just wondering why some men can't be honest? 🤔
my cousin's fiancé cooked for her to prove to her that he's a husband material , sisters good real men do exist so don't settle for momy's spoiled boys
I was recently out with a man and I started to realize he was shooting g questions at me- one right after the meeting t. I stopped answering and told him it was beginning to sound like an interview. He responded with a chuckle and said indeed as he was looking for a good woman who was wife material. My Immediate response was that I hadn’t applied for any position nor was I looking for one. I also pointed out he wasn’t a kind of person I would consider as a candidate as husband material even if I was looking. What a jerk! I then requested to be taken home. There are ridiculous men who still believe every woman wants and needs a husband. I spent the majority of my life without a husband because they are too controlling, think they rule you and try to take co troll over your life! I always had a much better life without a permanent fixture parked in my kitchen or family room burping and farting and criticizing me, eating my food and spending my money! I have more, take nicer vacations and enjoy my life with my friends. Women don’t need a man as much as they need a woman. We know how to take care of ourselves since we’ve always done so. You don’t need them. Get your girlfriends & take trips that aren’t expensive. They are available & fun. Enjoy your life.
My husband played with me these games all the time. We have 6 children and I decided to get at least an honorable divorce as prescribed in the Quran as a right for both husband and wife. For the past 8 years, I have been struggling to get a divorce, and I have been humiliated by everyone who I try to get help from. My family, friends, the Muslim community, and even the Court system of the government of the USA are playing games with me. Just a few of my family members and some good friends are helping me, and I am hoping that I will get an honorable divorce before my death. I was so much oppressed psychologically that I left my kids with their father. Even though living for my kids was the only thing that kept me holding on to a toxic marriage. 💔
May Allah grant you relief from this difficulty. Do your best to see your children often and have them with you if you can because children need their mother also and your absence in their lives may create a void that can lead to them having issues later on in life. May Allah grant you ease.
Then if your husband is not really doing what he should as a husband - Allah will judge him . People like this know how to manipulate others - but they cannot fool Allah.
@@naby9075like most married women - they probably keep on praying and hoping the husband will change his character. Also birth control is a sensitive topic - most muslims love having kids and some men refuse to allow their wives to practice birth control. My uncle is physically abusive to my aunt - and he refused to let her have birth control - he deliberately made my aunt pregnant 6 times so she could not leave him easily. On top of which he would use her money and savings ( she has a steady job) because he did not hold a steady job. For any woman - once you are married and unlucky enough to be trapped with an abusive irresponsible man - leaving the marriage is tough. My aunt secretly arranged for birth control after #6 baby - but it was not easy. She is still married to him because getting a divorce is more difficult for a muslim woman.
sister thank You for your content, may Allah guide us to the right path. Sister could you please explain: the process of how a muslim girl or muslim boy even comes to the stage in a halal way where they can approach and show their interest in a way that also pleases Allah swt? I would be really thankful of You, because I am still going to university but keep distance to guys and do not do friendships with guys. But I ask myself then, how will people like me who want to please Allah swt. get to know and come to the stage where they can marry the person they gained an interest in? I never did this, as I only see people just "dating" as muslim and non-muslims too, but what is the right way that pleases Allah swt.?
I have a interesting question if the spouse has autism how do you deal with them i am asking because I am austistic myself and i would like to understand that so i know what to do in the future
Ideally if you can find a Muslims marriage counsellor with experience working with autistic couples, that would be fantastic. They should be able to give you both some strategies on communication and emotional intelligence and social skills which would help a lot. All the best brother, I can see you are really trying. May Allah bless your marriage. 🤲🏾
Dear sister Nafisa, assalomu alaykum rohmatullohi va barokatuh. I hope you are doing well. Could you please give advice regarding bride's salary? My friend's mother in low is forcing her to give her all money and doing contribution to the family. She is doing her best but does not want to give her own salary to her mother in low. She mentions that if she doesn't give her salary, she can kick her off the house. Now , she is pregnant and doesn't know what to do. We know that it is prohibited in Islam but what can we do if our mentality doesn't understand that bride's money is her money. Most families have been ruined because of the money now. May Allah bless you sister and give barakah in your time 🤍
i think i might like a man who gives me direction ..if he releases me i will just dance on...sometimes men dont want to be alone so they want company but they know that this woman cant satisfy him or she isnt the one its ok you will know...and its ok because I WANT him to know heaven and for him to find it!
@n0426 you are a woman, so how do you know about real man? Real man is a man who protects and provides for his family. The reason most women are not getting a real man is because most of you women are not wifey material. Before any woman asks this question, where are the real men ?,that woman needs to simply ask this question to herself, what does she bring in the marriage? , are you married material ? Are you a traditional woman or a modern woman ?. One of the problems we men get from most women is that you come in relationships with modern women behaviour but want your man to behave as a traditional man. Men are very simple. Traditional women get traditional men,modern women get modern man
@n0426 hypocrisy is what most men think of modern women. Always on social media, her hair is fake, nails fake, height fake, almost everything about modern women is fake, but they want the man to be real man. This is so funny to us men. Don't worry, I am married with 2 daughters.
Watched for three minutes and read comments, as a result felt to give my advise whether Muslim women take it or not......" Don't go into marriage before Islamic marriage". Obey ALLAHswt, work hard and ask ALLAHswt to send your way the right spouse. Don't make your religion Hollywood, Nollywood and Bollywood movies.
That is your choice. It all depends on when you feel secure enough to make your decision but 1 year or more I think it’s too long of you want to do things the Islamic way.
Please be careful if he is a narcissist he can wait as long as you want because he knows he will get what he wants. Consider taking this time to see his real character and please don’t hesitate to disengage when you sense disrespect and narcissistic tendencies and don’t stay too long you might get stuck into a trauma bond. I swear he isn’t worth it!
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته i am here to give my view on your videos i wached probably not watched all but from those have been watching to be sincere i don't really know your motive four this your chanel i know you clearly stated it that probably to train muslimah against marriage . it a good thing and i really appreciate you for the effort you are putting through to do so. secondly i noticed your videos are ment for women , women , women fine it okay , may Allah subhanahu wataala put us through and rewards us abundantly ameen . now going to my view on your videos to be sincere you I really do disagree with most of what been said , sometimes irritate me and sometimes yeah you are right . coming to this video you made a statement when probably a man ask for your cook maybe to be like sure of how you cook , from your reply you said tell them probably when we get married and so .... what an insult i personally wont ask a womaan to do so because no one is perfect i cant expect her to be 💯 and maybe i should say a word here you can never know someone's complete behavior especially before marriage this not my sayings but scholars sayings on programs preparing the youth for marriage now going back to that statement when we get married it a rude word to be said to a man let just put my self in that shoe telling a woman i won't to get a taste of her meal and she gives me a response that when we get married me as a person wont think it twice i would just end the conversation there and no more there are many fishes in the ocean to be sincere it a word of arrogance , men are to be respected especially when trying to know each other inorder to move forward to the next step that statement to females might looks like you won't a wife's benefits why not we get married yes you are right but i believe a man who want that kind of stuff you can have a better way to explain or show to him you are committed to him but can't go further cause we aren't married i believe they should be a better way the man would get to understand not by spitting that kind of rubbish , irritating , rude word you might think you are trying to make him marry or being committed in marrying you if he wants those benefits of a wife but sincerely you are pushing him away gradually not that alone it a sign of arrogance yes women do come across men who just wants to play with them yes but that doesn't make you loose your good morals because i believe that is the number one thing a man looks after some certain things that got him attracted to you then follow by submissiveness after marriage . so pls ma to my observation with some video it like putting in them sign of arrogance and so yes truly some are just flirt and i believe women should be able to differentiate them with their behaviors towards you ... so sorry about this some complain of not, seeing husbands may Allah subhanahu wataala make it easy but i would say please check your behavior and your interaction with people it really means alot ...a lot of scholars talked about it and am sincere about it so this are kind of valuable words of encouragement and stuff like that i need from our tutor may Allah make it easy for everyone of us , bless those looking for husband a righteous man and for men a righteous woman ... ameen جزاكم الله خيرا may Allah increase you (tutor) in knowledge and may Allah make this big task easy for you and grant you abundant reward for your good doings ameen
Jazakum Allahu Khair for this video, sister Nafisa. It so saddens me that Muslim men play the same games that non-Muslim men play while dating. Thank you for these warnings to young women looking for marriage.
This woman and her videos are a true gift from heaven. ❤
Thank you. I’m glad it’s beneficial
I agree, her videos are interesting and helps in finding self-worth
Don't be stupid. She's a feminazi hijabi. All of her vlogs have an underlying misandry message. She is a total hypocrite as she also turns a blind eye to hijabi hypergamy, monkey branching and solipsism.
Yes your so universal this happens in many different countries.
Honestly, I don't want a person who plays games, I don't have the energy to deal with it
If being with him is like a psycological war, I'd rather be on my own
What matters to me the most is respect, and not taking me for granted, if being with me is comfortable for him but he doesn't even try to make me feel comfortable then he doesn't respect me.
Respect first, understanding and compatibility second, friendship third, and then love comes along the way.
Your videos have much wisdom, Thank you for that.
All your suggestions are quite helpful. Some men do wish to get wifey benefits before getting married. Some ladies go to their house to cook, clean, wash dishes and do laundry. Some men are really looking for cook or cleaner as they are used to having their mothers clean after them but now they are living separately then they realize they can’t do anything in their own.
True 🎉
That’s true. Also, many men of this generation are confused. They have one foot in Islam, the other in secular culture. And their conduct reveals that even while their mouths say something else. Therefore, the cautious Muslim woman shouldn’t do anything not prescribed in Islam, including giving “wifey benefits.” This adherence to Islamic standards will weed out the bad ones.
I can’t understand why any woman thinks she has to cook & clean for someone she’s seeing. Why should you? You aren’t their wife and even if you were, do you believe you should wait on them? I didn’t when I was younger and I won’t start doing so now. If, they want or need a maid then they should hire one. Being helpful is one thing but to do someone’s laundry is ludicrous. What does it take today to wash your own clothes? Not much. The machine does the work. If they can’t handle something so simple they should be in an assisted living situation. I don’t heavy lifting g so for those things, they should be taken to a professional. Maybe the best thing is to suggest they hire a Maid to come in twice a month and handle most everything. If you have someone on a steady basis, it’s not expensive. I low because I did so when I worked very long hours. It’s so much better than buying myself a treat. ❤
I love this!! So many young girls and women need to hear this
Break up Game… dear Nafisa, you just described what I was recently going through. He was love bombing me and at every little thing he didn’t like about our conversation, he started “breaking up”.
I accepted his choice and didn’t text back, wished him the best and ended the whole situation with him.
After getting over him, he texted me again and wanted to meet up and everything. And again: I said I don’t meet up with him at his house, he started gaslighting me and telling me I AM the one who is disrespectful and blocked me randomly 😂
Pleaseeeeee gooooo, pleaaaaaase.
Leave me and my mind alone.
I think another one you can mention that a lot of Muslim guys do, is saying they are looking for marriage, when in reality, they do not have the financial stability and are still living in their parents house, they are no where near ready for marriage, but pretend to be; you will notice when you meet them, rarely are the conversations about anything substantial, future plans, how you envision life ect.
Absolutely! 👏🏾
I ❤ the boundaries you set and the standards you keep in place during the Islamic courtship process. Good emotionally healthy and marriageable Men will love and respect this too.
Very true with what you've said. I'm having to block them from my phone. It's just too much psychological game playing. SMH 🙄
This was so beneficial may Allah bless you sis ❤
Now i remember seeing you in my dreams years ago. You are a god sent on this topic. I was a very troubled young girl because I learnt that my father is a narcissist and that’s how they behave. I decided to abandon him to god.
As a young adult now i had a guy who would act in this similar manner it’s crazy how your brain notices it even in text messages. Women please know your worth. Toxic people will destroy you. If someone truly loved and cared about your existence they would rather meet you in person. Trust me. It’s not worth it to lower your value and be a virtual slave. I’d rather go to work and build my dream self and life to be ready for the person god intended for me. I believe i was specifically created and tailored for that special someone. And i will not water myself down for no man.
You nailed it sis
One day they love you, the next they leave like nothing.. And always those who are afraid that you will leave are the ones who leave
It’s called projection. Because they know they’re capable of something, so they assume that everyone else would do the same as well.
@@iammar1159 but I don't get ppl telling u "I have to be like tht to not get weak, I would be to you like before" n tht he know how this must be for me..
n than "I'm cold n writing without emotions. I don't wanna see u again n u would be disappointed cauze I would be different" within days
He is palestine n said "I would marry u right away" but I wasn't happy him telling me I wouldn't be allowed to dress like I do anymore. Only long clothes, long swimsuit, no dancing, maybe also a second woman later. Toxic n controlling but still I'm disappointed cauze I belived his eyes n words n for me to turn emotions off like tht is crazy. U think this is also protection?
Exactly
@@Calida2308A practising Muslim man will want a wife that is practising and dresses and behaves like a woman. A Muslim man can marry another wife , and they do it mainly when they don’t get intimacy/ sex. They usually get another wife for sex, so if you exhaust him in bed, he won’t be thinking about another woman!
I have a man who was showing so much attention and then suddenly playing breakup games and then so many times keeps repeating I can’t die for you but I’m like I never said to die for me.
Men play games even when married. My mum is going through harder times right now and literally at breaking point. Time for big change and a lot of cut offs for our sanity.
Assalamualaikum sister nafisa. Im from malaysia and i just discover your channel a few day/week ago. Im a girl and i like your content💗well done sister. Keep spreading more positivity and dakwah❤️may allah bless you🥰
Thanks and welcome
Hey nafisa, I’ve given up on marriage because here in my country people are either not moral or just not a correct match- I’m fed up of searching for the bare minimum- I’m going to live a single
Life for myself till I get to Jannah InshaAllah- I’m from Pakistan 🇵🇰
Give up on people you see around you because of your experience. However do not give up on relying on Allah and how he is capable of anything. You might have given up on your search. So give the search to Allah and believe in His ability to do what ever seems impossible in your eyes and from your experience. That is the test. Tahajjud, charity, istikhara all with the intention of being sent a spouse to you.
Don’t close the door because shaytan makes the journey of finding a spouse feel so despairing.
May Allah guide you to what is best for you my sis. And May He open doors for your that appear closed and May He bless you with a spouse that is everything you need and want. Allah is the subtle, Allah is the most generous Allah is Al fattah the opener, Allah is the capable. Allah is the giver of gifts Al Wahhab. Ameen ya Rab. ❤
I don’t mean to dismiss you I just hold onto hope for you and I feel your disappointment. I hope this message is comforting to you. ❤
@fatimawaheed-wq9tr25, you?
@@LS-cj8jdthanks for the kind comment
May Allah swt grant you a husband that has the characteristics of prophet Muhammad pbuh ameen
All the hard working Pakistani men are in the gulf working hard and saving money and suffering under the abuse of employers but they want to get married cause they contacting me but I have a husband.🤷🏻♀️
I'm really happy to find you as a couched. You are a good role model.
You know what hurts most? An ex who keeps stringing me for 5 years, reaching out to me, playing these games you mentioned...and then to find out he married someone his family chose. The betrayal and deception were too much. But he's out of my life now.
Glad to hear he’s no longer in your life. Keep him out so he doesn’t block your blessings by occupying a space in your life that is meant for the right person.
Aisya - that is your fault for chasing a bad boy. You ignored all of his red flags because you were obsessed with his bad boy mojo. Take responsibility for your own bad decisions.
I'm sure there were dozens of nice guys who wanted to marry you, but you kicked them in the balls and wrote them off.
Waouh that is incredible. I think I have already met each type of these gamers. Waouh Allah has saved me.
That’s true sister,I was in those situations it took me a while to get out of that situation but alhamdullilah I’m out of that situation now and I’m happy now alhamdullilah.
I needed this video! May Allah SWT continue to use you for his good works and reward you for sharing these important tips for us Muslimas. It will definitely help me make wiser decisions in the future inshallah. I've experienced and few of these very recently and didn't recognize that it was a game tactic. Thank you sister!
Also, I remembered something. There are predators whom are looking for pious women... just pay close attention and if you aren't sure, ask an elder or a reliable friend who can work through it with you. Istikhara helps btw
Istikhara is the first thing you should do. Wallahi it will save you if you truly do it the right way and understand the duaa that you’re making.
@@Mmefatoom What has it been like for you? I got nightmares and would wake up sweating and my nails digging into my hands...
@@InshasChoice your body is reacting negatively to someone’s energy you have met in your awake state. Our bodies are sacred and they sense what might bring harm to them.
@@n0426 100%. There are also physical symptoms right, such as a fever, racing heartbeat, hair falling out, skin issues throwing up/feeling nauseus, upset stomach etc when interacting and involved with someone not good for us. Unfortunately, we tend to ignore them
@@InshasChoice yes learning to build our self love-worth makes us able to get ourselves out of sticky situations because we have self-respect (protective shield)
And we are secure in ourself and have a stable core.
Jazakum Allahu khair sister Nasifa I really appreciate , the talk is soooo real thank you
Thank you so much sis you are really helping a lot of girls out there may Allah continue to bless you
if only I saw this earlier! thank you so much honey
so glad im watching this before a sit down. It will be my first official sit down in shaa Allah im nervous. Jazak Allahu Kharian foe the advice
thank you nafisa clever women
Sister Nafisa, I am taking permission to share your videos on my facebook page. Especially to enlighten our sisters.
Salaam sis, I'm a new subscriber and I'm loving your direct approach to getting the message across.. would love it if you can make a video on what games men play in marriages (short and long term marriages)
Jazak Allahu Khyran, sending love to you and your family ❤
Sister knows!!! 😂 all the Games!! Love your videos ❤
Thank you so much for this, dear Nafisa. You're an absolute gem not easy to come about. Keep being your beautiful self.
Assalamu alaikum. I got married to a man few months back. He seemed a good person. But hasn’t figured out his career yet. I got married as I believed Allah is going to provide us. But now He isn’t attracted to me, says he can’t love me. I’m living with his family. I quit my job for him. Cooking for him. Doing all the work to make his mum happy. Yet nothing seems good in our relationship. I’m constantly getting thoughts of getting a divorce. He keeps telling me I’m asking for too much when all I’ve asked for is love. What do I do?
Make duah to Allah. Work on yourself and your deen. Make Allah your focal point, not your husband. Give all your love to Allah and don’t cry for a human’s love!
Join a job and impress your seniors and colleagues with your skills rather than impressing his mom who can't help you... because she is the one giving a bad upbringing to her son.
NOTE: No need to spend a penny of your salary to anyone of them. Keep it safe for your emergency needs.
i agree sister ♥
That sounds like pure manipulation.
I came across this saying, "He wants a fan, not a wife." How relevant and self explanatory
You are right. If a man really wants you, he will be direct. Men are hunters. If they play games, she is right! Tell them to shape up or ship out.
@@BQ900 nah don’t tell him to shape up. Because if he wanted to he would have already shaped up and didn’t go too far with the disrespect. I say save yourself the headache. Playboys like it when you give them chances. But are they REALLY that worth wasting your precious youth on? That is not a man. Don’t water yourself down.
@@n0426 actually I am married. My husband is Muslim and I am not. But I find these videos are full of very good advice.
@@BQ900 may god bless you. I wasn’t really referring to you personally it was an addition to your comment.
Yes they are precious. In today’s rotten world.
Thank you for these educating videos ❤
Jazaki Allah khair sis . That was very informative and much needed video .
Jazakillah Kheir sister Nafisa, kindly do a video on questions you should ask a man before marriage. May Allah bless you ❤
Thank you for these videos! Not going to text my ex anymore :) I want someone who values me, respects & encourages my islamic boundaries and loves me❤️
Thank you sister, may the Almighty Allah grant you strength to move ahead
This video save my dating life thank you 😊
Assalamu alaikum mam, I am a male, your video is really educative, I wish every sister will watch this.
MashaAllah my sister. Thank you much my love❤. Ameen to the dua it has always been my prayer.
Women keep asking 'to be heard' or 'having a voice.' They are hurt and angry girls.
This woman doesn't have to ask for it, she IS the voice. Today we must go to the ancient races to find what we've lost
and they have not. They know themselves and they know - and love - their husbands, brothers, sons and how they might
operate in today's world of modern relationships (or perhaps they always did!).
Thank you Nafisa for your beauty inside and out.
May Allah reward you for this...
jazak Allahu khayran sister for the work you do very useful youre like big sister to me giving best advicee!!!:DD I learned soo much
Waiyakum
Hahaha the timing subhanallah. The son of his mother stood me up today 😅
SubhanaAllah Sis thank you for sharing such beneficial knowledge and information 🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🫶🏾
Wow finally you accepted you're play game men thank you a lot
Love your vids sis.
Ghosting, games, lack of commitment, etc…most of these “red flags” also applies to women. Shocker!!
My advice to all sisters, don’t overthink things. If you keep trying to look for faults, red flags, you will find them. Remember, Shaytan hates the idea of marriage. If people show you who they are, believe them. Lots of assumptions can be made from both sides. Ask clarifying questions. No one is perfect.
Communication is key!!! Ask questions, and trust your gut and most of all trust in Allah.
Yeah we know but her audience is primarily women and the advice she gives is still very useful. Also she literally mentioned in the beginning of the video that both men and women are capable of these things lol. And I think it’s great that she made this video because there are probably hundreds of muslim men’s channels that give advice to boys/men about women (sometimes bad advice) and there aren’t nearly as many Muslim female channels who girls/women can look up to for advice and support.
@@iammar1159I never said what she said was wrong. I know this channel is geared towards women. It never hurts to reiterate something that’d be useful.
This is full of wisdom. Jazakillahu khoir
Thanks sis 😍😍😍
Thanks alot sis.... Assalamualaikum
Wollahe May Allah bless you and your family. You just always het the Neil on the head thank you so much 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🥰
I appreciate that
Just lovee her videos never disappoint 🫡✅Barakallahu Fiikum sis Nafisa’z ❤️Definitely need another video about the questions to ask at the talking stage please 🙏🏿
«Thank you and goodbye and close that chapter»😎✨👍👏👏👏
Thank you sis, I enjoyed watching your video❤ You made me laugh😁
I'm just wondering why some men can't be honest? 🤔
Thanks alot sister❤
this was extremely helpful, thank you so much 🤍
Glad it helped!
How can I like this uncountable times 😌....🙌🙌. Allahumma Barik ❤
I love your videos
Another great video Nafisa! Keep up the great work 💕
my cousin's fiancé cooked for her to prove to her that he's a husband material , sisters good real men do exist so don't settle for momy's spoiled boys
I was recently out with a man and I started to realize he was shooting g questions at me- one right after the meeting t. I stopped answering and told him it was beginning to sound like an interview. He responded with a chuckle and said indeed as he was looking for a good woman who was wife material. My Immediate response was that I hadn’t applied for any position nor was I looking for one. I also pointed out he wasn’t a kind of person I would consider as a candidate as husband material even if I was looking. What a jerk! I then requested to be taken home. There are ridiculous men who still believe every woman wants and needs a husband. I spent the majority of my life without a husband because they are too controlling, think they rule you and try to take co troll over your life! I always had a much better life without a permanent fixture parked in my kitchen or family room burping and farting and criticizing me, eating my food and spending my money! I have more, take nicer vacations and enjoy my life with my friends. Women don’t need a man as much as they need a woman. We know how to take care of ourselves since we’ve always done so. You don’t need them. Get your girlfriends & take trips that aren’t expensive. They are available & fun. Enjoy your life.
Thank you so much😊
It’s just childish to entertain a man. If he is serious he will talk to your father first or will ask you his phone number so keep it halal girls.
Period
Thanks for sharing nafisa
Jazakallah khair 😊
My husband played with me these games all the time. We have 6 children and I decided to get at least an honorable divorce as prescribed in the Quran as a right for both husband and wife. For the past 8 years, I have been struggling to get a divorce, and I have been humiliated by everyone who I try to get help from. My family, friends, the Muslim community, and even the Court system of the government of the USA are playing games with me.
Just a few of my family members and some good friends are helping me, and I am hoping that I will get an honorable divorce before my death.
I was so much oppressed psychologically that I left my kids with their father. Even though living for my kids was the only thing that kept me holding on to a toxic marriage. 💔
You were not aware of his caractere before making 6 kids????
May Allah grant you relief from this difficulty. Do your best to see your children often and have them with you if you can because children need their mother also and your absence in their lives may create a void that can lead to them having issues later on in life.
May Allah grant you ease.
Then if your husband is not really doing what he should as a husband - Allah will judge him . People like this know how to manipulate others - but they cannot fool Allah.
@@naby9075like most married women - they probably keep on praying and hoping the husband will change his character. Also birth control is a sensitive topic - most muslims love having kids and some men refuse to allow their wives to practice birth control. My uncle is physically abusive to my aunt - and he refused to let her have birth control - he deliberately made my aunt pregnant 6 times so she could not leave him easily. On top of which he would use her money and savings ( she has a steady job) because he did not hold a steady job. For any woman - once you are married and unlucky enough to be trapped with an abusive irresponsible man - leaving the marriage is tough. My aunt secretly arranged for birth control after #6 baby - but it was not easy. She is still married to him because getting a divorce is more difficult for a muslim woman.
May Allah help you.
Sister I'm going through something terrible 😊
sister thank You for your content, may Allah guide us to the right path.
Sister could you please explain: the process of how a muslim girl or muslim boy even comes to the stage in a halal way where they can approach and show their interest in a way that also pleases Allah swt?
I would be really thankful of You, because I am still going to university but keep distance to guys and do not do friendships with guys. But I ask myself then, how will people like me who want to please Allah swt. get to know and come to the stage where they can marry the person they gained an interest in?
I never did this, as I only see people just "dating" as muslim and non-muslims too, but what is the right way that pleases Allah swt.?
Thank you ❤
I have a question
What if the husband is playing these games? Isn’t it weird?
That does sound strange. Perhaps he is attention seeking or wanting to gain control.
I have a interesting question if the spouse has autism how do you deal with them i am asking because I am austistic myself and i would like to understand that so i know what to do in the future
Speak to a councillor who is knowledgeable in autism. Consider communication styles, be direct of wants and needs in your marriage.
@@LS-cj8jd ok thanks for suggestion
Ideally if you can find a Muslims marriage counsellor with experience working with autistic couples, that would be fantastic. They should be able to give you both some strategies on communication and emotional intelligence and social skills which would help a lot.
All the best brother, I can see you are really trying. May Allah bless your marriage. 🤲🏾
@@NafisasPearlz thanks nafisa I appreciate it alot
Thanks for sharing. May Allah grant us righteous husbands.❤
Ameen
MashAllah, eye opening informations
Jazakallahu hairan ❤
Dear sister Nafisa, assalomu alaykum rohmatullohi va barokatuh. I hope you are doing well. Could you please give advice regarding bride's salary? My friend's mother in low is forcing her to give her all money and doing contribution to the family. She is doing her best but does not want to give her own salary to her mother in low. She mentions that if she doesn't give her salary, she can kick her off the house. Now , she is pregnant and doesn't know what to do. We know that it is prohibited in Islam but what can we do if our mentality doesn't understand that bride's money is her money. Most families have been ruined because of the money now. May Allah bless you sister and give barakah in your time 🤍
This is not from
Islam, she must not give her in laws any money, not even her husband!!!
Exhausting 🤦♀️
You’ll find out when we’ll get married…fantastic
Thanks Nafisa🫶🏼
i think i might like a man who gives me direction ..if he releases me i will just dance on...sometimes men dont want to be alone so they want company but they know that this woman cant satisfy him or she isnt the one its ok you will know...and its ok because I WANT him to know heaven and for him to find it!
Sister Nafisa pls how can I contact you?
Sister is it good for lady to rent a house or is supposed to stay with parents until marriage
Stay at home until marriage to be on the safe side and also save money!
The male species is very strange for the first game i would tell him hes boring n ghost him FIRST
say Subhan Allah and Alhamdu lil Allah and La Illaha illa Allah and Allahu Akbar
What do real men do to show commitment
What is a real man?
@@mafiooato7233 the one who shows integrity in his daily life. Who knows himself and fears god. Who isn’t a hypocrite.
I could assume the exact opposite. :)
@n0426 you are a woman, so how do you know about real man?
Real man is a man who protects and provides for his family.
The reason most women are not getting a real man is because most of you women are not wifey material. Before any woman asks this question, where are the real men ?,that woman needs to simply ask this question to herself, what does she bring in the marriage? , are you married material ? Are you a traditional woman or a modern woman ?.
One of the problems we men get from most women is that you come in relationships with modern women behaviour but want your man to behave as a traditional man. Men are very simple. Traditional women get traditional men,modern women get modern man
@n0426 hypocrisy is what most men think of modern women. Always on social media, her hair is fake, nails fake, height fake, almost everything about modern women is fake, but they want the man to be real man.
This is so funny to us men.
Don't worry, I am married with 2 daughters.
I wish i had heard this 6 yrs back..
Watched for three minutes and read comments, as a result felt to give my advise whether Muslim women take it or not......" Don't go into marriage before Islamic marriage". Obey ALLAHswt, work hard and ask ALLAHswt to send your way the right spouse. Don't make your religion Hollywood, Nollywood and Bollywood movies.
❤Mashaallah
did u get divorced?
Sister Assalamu alaikum, please when never you want to mention your name please add your surname it should be better
❤️❤️❤️
The only wife a man needs is his job! Make all the money he can, the money will take care of the rest.
men are very weird to understand that i always end up here to check if they're real or just playing games fr
But how much time should pass after the first meeting before you get engaged?
That is your choice. It all depends on when you feel secure enough to make your decision but 1 year or more I think it’s too long of you want to do things the Islamic way.
Ask questions to him :
About his deen ? Character? ....
Ask about him
And i think less than 6 months is a good time
Please be careful if he is a narcissist he can wait as long as you want because he knows he will get what he wants. Consider taking this time to see his real character and please don’t hesitate to disengage when you sense disrespect and narcissistic tendencies and don’t stay too long you might get stuck into a trauma bond. I swear he isn’t worth it!
Muslim men are notorious of being womenizers and players. What about a video about him hiding you from his family
Sister Nafisa this what the older Pakistani man did to me i will not forgive him for this never giving this player a chance!
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
i am here to give my view on your videos i wached probably not watched all but from those have been watching to be sincere i don't really know your motive four this your chanel i know you clearly stated it that probably to train muslimah against marriage . it a good thing and i really appreciate you for the effort you are putting through to do so.
secondly i noticed your videos are ment for women , women , women fine it okay , may Allah subhanahu wataala put us through and rewards us abundantly ameen .
now going to my view on your videos to be sincere you I really do disagree with most of what been said , sometimes irritate me and sometimes yeah you are right .
coming to this video you made a statement when probably a man ask for your cook maybe to be like sure of how you cook , from your reply you said tell them probably when we get married and so .... what an insult i personally wont ask a womaan to do so because no one is perfect i cant expect her to be 💯 and maybe i should say a word here you can never know someone's complete behavior especially before marriage this not my sayings but scholars sayings on programs preparing the youth for marriage now going back to that statement when we get married it a rude word to be said to a man let just put my self in that shoe telling a woman i won't to get a taste of her meal and she gives me a response that when we get married me as a person wont think it twice i would just end the conversation there and no more there are many fishes in the ocean to be sincere it a word of arrogance , men are to be respected especially when trying to know each other inorder to move forward to the next step that statement to females might looks like you won't a wife's benefits why not we get married yes you are right but i believe a man who want that kind of stuff you can have a better way to explain or show to him you are committed to him but can't go further cause we aren't married i believe they should be a better way the man would get to understand not by spitting that kind of rubbish , irritating , rude word you might think you are trying to make him marry or being committed in marrying you if he wants those benefits of a wife but sincerely you are pushing him away gradually not that alone it a sign of arrogance yes women do come across men who just wants to play with them yes but that doesn't make you loose your good morals because i believe that is the number one thing a man looks after some certain things that got him attracted to you then follow by submissiveness after marriage .
so pls ma to my observation with some video it like putting in them sign of arrogance and so yes truly some are just flirt and i believe women should be able to differentiate them with their behaviors towards you ...
so sorry about this some complain of not, seeing husbands may Allah subhanahu wataala make it easy
but i would say please check your behavior and your interaction with people it really means alot ...a lot of scholars talked about it and am sincere about it
so this are kind of valuable words of encouragement and stuff like that i need from our tutor may Allah make it easy for everyone of us , bless those looking for husband a righteous man and for men a righteous woman ... ameen
جزاكم الله خيرا
may Allah increase you (tutor) in knowledge and may Allah make this big task easy for you and grant you abundant reward for your good doings ameen
If you are a man, it’s Haram to watch women 🥴
Subhanallah
I was taught men don’t play games they are more direct. They don’t react off emotions like women they act off logic. They mean exactly what they say
You didn't meet them yet. They play games and they are not clear
Lol these are men who know and fear god.
Not hypocrite narcissists. Human devils playboys that will never grow up.
Cap years ago
Inshallah 🙏 Shukary 🙏