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Too Many Men Make This Mistake With Women (& It Doesn't Work)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 เม.ย. 2023
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I did this in high school. Simped for a girl I liked. Didn’t know any better but it taught me at a young age to never do it again.
As soon as I stopped simping in this girl, she started being interested in me. Good lesson for a high school kid lol
I wished I would of been taught that in high school I stooped in my mid 30s realizing were I went wrong from the past. Because I started watching Kevin Samuel and Courtney ryan
@@TRUTHaintHATING indeed.
As gruff as Mr. Samuel's was, he always had this disipline regarding self-control and personal appearance. Though I wished he challenged the men more often.
As for Mrs. Ryan, I do not always agree with her content, however, I do honor her position and professionalism she displays.
I do enjoy her Q and A sessions, especially the one regarding men's expected vs actual income per age bracket. That one was an eye opener.
@@tailgunner2 I gotta check that out. I started watching her because I wanted answers to why this girl I wanted to talk to wouldn't acknowledge me like that when I fit her description in a man. And her video helped me out. But ok I will check that out
@@TRUTHaintHATING I apologize for the delay. My mind went in three different directions in how to respond. As simple as your response is, there is a great amount to unpack. So I'll do my best to proceed from worst, and elevate to best.
At absolute worst, she simply is not interested in you, and nothing you do will ever change that. To strive to alter her mindset otherwise speaks more of YOU than of her. Honor her, her wishes, and her automity. Who knows? It might be for the best for the both of you.
A more natural approach is, if the reason to "self improve" is to better compete for the attention of this one woman, then you seek superiority for the wrong reasons. Look, the world can, and will always need "better men". But it does no good at all if such efforts lead to failure. Yes, there is always the courage to "roll the dice" but God damn, look at the game first before you throw them!
Finally, there are no guarantees in life. I know not where you are in life, even less your age. There are times the only way to learn is the hard way. For me, being a bit older, I have much to lose when making a mistake. For you, if young, then when a mistake is made it may seem devastating at that moment, in the end is a learning opportunity. Take advantage of it.
I suppose what I'm attempting to impress is, take a deep breath, and force that walk towards her. If she says no, accept the rejection, and take the pressure off. Ask if she can reconsider, if the answer is still no, then honor it, no one has done any wrong. Keep a keen eye to the process, not the product. The both of you may be right, though the end result may be undesirable.
I suppose being a bit more certain in your approach (AKA Warrior Mindset), there is the courage of making the offer, and the strength to walk away. However that carries the burden of constantly expressing the energy of keeping the relationship inside arms reach. No thanks.
Cherry pick what you wish from my ramblings. I have been accused of over thinking things in the past. However, All I ask is to make the attempt, and learn from it. No amount of "Red pill" "Black Pill", PUA , dating coaches, even my random assortment of letters on TH-cam, can replace cold, hard experience. Good luck!
Anyone who has time to chase has time to make self improvements.
😂 factual
Money moves is a way better use of time and more profitable. Better returns on time invested. About 100x.
Yeah situation changes once your current girl breaks up with you. So I say like whatever you want. However being married is diff story 😅
Truth.
Truthfully said
When you decide not to be a simp, a side guy, a third wheel, a white knight, and choose to set your boundaries, think of it as taking care of yourself, not being selfish! Me, personally, if me and another girl don't have mutual feeling, I stop seeing her all together. It's a good way to start letting go of my feelings. Guys, don't torture yourselves. Give yourselves more credit!!
Nothing wrong with being a white Knight.
There is a reason women love romance novels so much.
But the men in them certainly are not fawning simps. Nothing attractive about THAT.
Women love a man with boundaries. I feel in this feminist/red pill age men need to be pursued and should invest the time in oneself until you begin to like the girls you attract as opposed to chasing.
@Stogey Poo yes. And if a woman really likes the man, she'll care about his well-being and won't use him. And vice versa.
Out of all those options, the least harmful is the side dude position, because, by being one, you can at least score and, after getting bored, you can broom her in an instant.
@@normanosborn1277 Yeah side dude is best. You can be there for them when they need or want you and be gone when they don't. Married women are best because they can't stay the night.
Agreed, nothing good comes out of the friendzone. I thought it didn't matter all that much, until I saw how one guy turned into an outright stalker. Allowing a man to have false hope can be a dangerous game to play. Nobody wants to be Sideshow Bob.
friendship is the essential foundation to a healthy mature intimate relationship
sometimes a woman isn't mature enough to allow deeper intimacy with a guy who she considers a 'friend' BECAUSE she's been so vulnerable and feels so comfortable with him - it makes sense when you thikn about it
sometimes there isn't enough communication between the two for them to realize they are just good as friends, OR, the opposite, that they might make a good deeper partnership relationship if only they could 'grow' a bit
and often there is a disconnect because of lack of communication on one or the other's side, not being true about their thoughts and feelings about the other (which can be him deluding himself into thinking he has as chance or her using him for attention and emotional blanket etc., and a whole bunch of other things)
@@zerpblerd5966 I don't think Courtney's video is really talking about friendship but the friendzone. Sure, I've been friends with women, but both parties had no further interest. The friendzone is highly one-side, meaning that one party wants more, and the other person lets this arrangement continue, even though it will never be a romantic relationship.
Part of the issue these days is categorizing human behavior with named structures, such as "friend zone." Before long people just get to be robots hoping from one zone to the next, rather than complex, multifaceted individuals who deserve to be understood rather than psychologically labeled.
what do you mean by the sideshow bob reference?
BY LUFICER'S BEARD!!!
I nuke friend zones ..
If she rejects me or tries to friend zone me she instantly doesn’t exist anymore to me.
good mantra
Facts 👍🏼
Reject = Friend Zone
@@MikeyP109 No. Being friends is a mutual decision. Can’t be friendzoned if you don’t want to be friends
@@pilapila183 When put in a friend zone, one is simply being rejected.
Let's be clear... If you will do absolutely anything for her and you're not her boyfriend, she doesn't like you.
I like to think this realization comes with maturity. When I was in high school, I thought that the way to get into a relationship with a girl was to befriend her, and you end up in the friend zone. It's not necessarily a bad thing if you're single and you recognize it for what it is and resolve that your relationship with that girl is only going to be friends. It's far better, in my opinion, to be direct when approaching a woman you're interested in (not crude or explicit), but to let her know directly that you're interested in her so that she knows what you're intentions are. Then, if she accepts, only proceed if she reciprocates your feelings.
The other big thing is learning about crushes. It's great fun to have a crush and wonder if the woman you're interested in notices you or is thinking about you. The reality is that a crush is a fantasy relationship. At least for me, I was afraid to talk to my crush because if I talked to her and found out she didn't like me, then that fantasy relationship ended. And I think most men I hear talking really bitterly about their dating life have done everything based on crushes they've had rather than trying to find someone they can build a relationship with. (Not saying you can't with crushes necessarily). The problem is that I believe we attach too much meaning to crushes, and it can cause people (men and women both) to waste a lot of time on an effort that really isn't good or not going anywhere.
"Life is a lot better when you're not the side guy".... how true, how true!
I was the guy who lost the girl in this scenario. In my case, I did what I could & tried not to mess up (I think): I never forgot her birthday or our wedding anniversary, I took her out & tried to think of things we could do to keep it fresh, supported her dreams, etc. But, for everything I did right there was always some part where she said I dropped the ball. I mean, I'm only human, I can't get it right all the time & it just got to the point where her demands became too much & nothing I did was right. It felt like I was stumbling & struggling all the time & I honestly just gave up trying.
Other guys were always circling, promising her the a world of things I didn't have the energy to give anymore & eventually she bought what they were selling & I was out, no longer good enough & a "mistake she never should have made".
Longwinded & ranty, I apologise, but all this is to say, yes, there are guys out there waiting for us to mess up so they can swoop in but we're human & we're going to drop the ball at some point. We shouldn't have to live in fear of the "other guy" because of that. If you're making a real effort & she still can't see the value in that then it's not just on you. She has to take some of the blame as well.
I know it wasn't all on me but that whole experience has left me emotionally drained which is why I'm not even thinking of getting into another relationship in the foreseeable future.
Sounds like she wanted the perfect man, which she will NEVER find. That guy she chased after she dumped you wont be perfect either, and then she will jump to another, and another. And maybe thats what she wants. But that makes her NOT relationship material. Take the lessons, grow as a person, and be thankful. And focus on yourself.
@@MichaelNNY Actually, that's exactly what's she's doing. That guy kept trying to borrow money from her, the guy after that was controlling. Now she's got a lot of male "friends" that she thanks to but isn't ready to commit to any of them.
@@KevinDIntrovert how long were y'all together and how recent was the bust? I ask because I was you, and now 20yrs down the drain like it was all nothing, and now I live in a shoebox and only see my lil blessings on weekends..
Let me guess, she was an American girl, right?
@@phabeondominguez5971 24 years married (7 years dating before that), 3 years divorced. We had no kids, (fortunately) but I do have a nice shoebox myself now.
I was told this by an old man a few years before he passed away. He said in his lifetime he figured one thing out well he actually figured several things out but this is one thing that stuck with me is that no man should be an option for a woman if you are an option then you're either second-best or she really doesn't care about you that much
Yes, don’t make someone a priority if they make you an option!! 🙏
@@hypernormalinfographic8337 yup
When I was in college, I fell hard for one of my best friends. At that point in my life, I never had a girlfriend...mainly because I just had no confidence. And she didn't just friendzone me... she brozoned the hell out of me. We first started out as friends but then it became something very real from my end. She had had a boyfriend at the time, and I waited for him to make a mistake. And he did, and she broke up with him.
To say I was elated was an understatement. This was the moment I was WAITING for. I was the shoulder she leaned on, the guy she spilled her heart out to... I thought that since we had such a solid friendship base, it would take minimal effort to make her my girlfriend.
I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG.
As she emotionally healed, she started telling me about other boys she thought was attractive, and it KILLED me to hear her not notice what a great boyfriend I would have been for her. Then she started dating her husband.
That shattered me. I can't explain why, but it took me 5 years to get over her. I watched her and her husband date, get engaged, and get married. Obviously, she and I have not remained friends because I finally learned some self-respect.
Like Courtney said, I don't believe that this girl manipulated me. I allowed this to happen to me. I didn't have the courage to just tell her what was in my heart. Why did I stick around for a girl who never even considered me as an option? No one should be a last resort. I had no dignity left, no wonder she didn't like me at all.
I fell in love with the idea of what she and I could have been instead of looking at the reality of the situation.
Had I made my stance clear from the start, that doesn't guarantee that she would've been my girl, but I'll be damned if she wouldn't have thought twice before passing me up.
I have since learned my lessons; I have been on many dates, and I've had a girlfriend. I make sure that I don't fall too hard too quickly like I used to, and I make sure to see that she also puts effort in pursuing me too. To try to impress someone like a simp also means to be someone you're not, whereas now I can unapologetically be myself. If she likes me as I am, well and good. If not, onto the next girl. To pedestalize someone is simply wrong and that is holding them up to a standard that they're not at. Women are not angels; they're flawed human beings like anyone else. If I consider her a prize, then I am also just as much a prize that she needs to put in the effort to win over too.
THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER GOOD WOMAN OUT THERE.
Brilliant video as always Courtney.
Thank you for sharing. I've gone through something similar but the other way around, me being the girl.
Do you think, even though you are rightfully more careful with love now, that any of these women compare to the first girl? Can anyone outshine her for you?
@@y04a I would say that the innocence I had when I first fell in love is gone. I'm willing to go on dates and try again with another girl.
But there's something about the first real heartbreak that really breaks a man, even though it wasn't her fault. I no longer wear my heart on my sleeve, and my guards are up. My heart wants to fall hard, but my brain is better at intervening.
That's not to say that another girl will never take her place, and of course there are girls out there better than her, but it would take something extraordinary for me to be that vulnerable with my heart and my feelings again. I refuse to go through those years of depression again. I have cried too hard to Taylor Swift lol.
@Vaquero357 You nailed it right on the head. When she first started dating her husband, I had to stop talking to her. After a couple days, she asked me what was wrong and why I wouldn't speak to her. Only then did I tell her the truth about how I felt. I told her there was no way I could stop seeing her in a romantic light, and that we either could have everything or we would have nothing. Up till then, I made the mistake of putting her happiness above mine.
Now I finally put myself first. And that meant cutting off ties with her. So be it, and I'm the happier for it.
You're absolutely right in that me telling her earlier about how I felt wouldn't have made a difference. In fact, when I did tell her about my feelings, she was quite scornful. She said that it was my fault that I kept up false hope and that just because I was nice to her, that did not make me entitled to her romantically. It was harsh to hear (and it made my depression last longer), but she was absolutely right. If anything, the whole incident made me a better person and a better man overall. Over the years, she tried to reach out to me because I do think she genuinely missed our friendship. But there was no going back.
I appreciate your kind comments!!
I was that friend too! I think women also think we’re not romantically interested if we don’t say anything. I had multiple shots with women over the years but never took them because I was either too scared or thought they would see how much I liked them develop feelings for me. A few of them eventually got boyfriends or I had to hear second hand about other guys they ended up with. It crushed me and was a poor strategy. 99% women won’t realize how they affect you but it’s not their responsibility to take care of us because we’re not children. Thank goodness I learned to respect myself.
I’m glad to know you learnt the best stuff from what happened, that way you could know what not to do next tome
31M with 3/10 looks here - I was born with a large birthmark on one side of my face. I never chase women or act needy and clingy, but I often need to put myself out there and initiate more to communicate my intentions as I've had zero success with online dating and cold approaches. I work out regularly, dress and groom well, have a stable and high paying job (real estate business owner) and own my apartment downtown. Looks aren't everything as successful men advise you to prioritize your self-development, confidence, health and life goals, but over the years I've learned the hard way and real truth that looks do matter a lot since you still need a bare minimum to build attraction. Despite most women rejecting me, I'm not giving up and will keep trying.
You can always improve
@@rasheemthebestfirstone3274 I do, I try not to worry and overthink about things I can't control, so I'm still continuing to work out, read books, grow my business and just enjoy life in general. But it would be nice to meet someone one day in a natural way.
Good for you, buddy 👍
@@searklarak inshallah you will someday brother
Just tell them it's a prison tat. You'll be swimming in it.
Thank you Courtney! Being able to know when to walk away is vital. If a man won’t respect himself, then a woman will not respect him or take him seriously. True loyalty from a woman is not found in a lack of boundaries or low self esteem.
Great video! Lesson usually learned the hard way.
"The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too."
Ernest Hemingway
Its so much worse when they never loved you in the first place
"The key of success is chasing goals not women" Facts 👌🏼😎
I've seen the side-guys being called "orbiters" because they're constantly orbiting a girl they like in the hope that they'll eventually leave the friendzone and move into the boyfriend circle. And I'm not too proud to admit that many years ago I was an orbiter. I wasn't even aware that I was one at the time. I thought I was just being a good friend. It was only in hindsight, after our friendship fizzled out, that it became clear to me that I had been an orbiter and that the girl had several other orbiters waiting in the wings. Though, I should clarify that the girl didn't use me for financial gain or as a way to be doted on. So, she wasn't using me in that sense.
Every guy has been an orbiter at some point. It's practically a rite of passage for young men.
Bingo. Beta male orbiters.
Friendship LOL
Lol an orbiter. How apt a word for it!
Gurls sucked in orbiter energy called ATTENTION. It may not always be the guy's money but TIME INVESTMENT which you wouldn't be able to recover.
Women love to use betas, nice guys, and simps because you let her get away with it. Most women aren't worth it. Tell her if she doesn't do anything for you GFY
I’m so glad that i’ve grown out of that situation.
It was tough to realise this for myself that I lost myself to “make sure” she likes me as a partner ore lover.
I lost a few “friends” because of my realisation, but I won so much more.
My love life is a tough run to say the least, but I’m not chasing any girls who are in relationship ore something.
Its worth the trouble, at all.
Too many movies and shows romanticize the idea of guys being persistent in asking a woman out no matter how many times she refuses. It just doesn’t work that way in real life.
Yup
I would hope adults could tell the difference.
Underrated problem. Everyone thinks they’ll end up like jim and Pam from the office. But in real life it just doesnt happen. But all we see in media are these “nice guys” waiting on the sidelines winning.
@Vaquero357 TV shows are not learning tools, don't let them "teach" you anything.
Movie makers are not the sterotypical Chads so,of course,they won't know how real dating works
I reluctantly admit I used to be this guy. I have a huge crush on a woman I work closely with and I’m friends with. This crush has gone on for four years!
She has a boyfriend a lot women desire. He has a six figure income as a traveling nurse, is way over 6 feet tall, and is in great shape. I didn’t want the guy to screw up and have her dump him. I wanted him to get killed in a car crash during work or to go find a woman half his age (He’s in his 60s and she’s 61 and I’m 45!) or younger with an hour glass figure and leave her for that woman. I was blinded with envy.
This along with the fact that I’m very afraid of being lonely and single and unworthy of a relationship with a great woman like her. Dating and relationships and success with women haven’t come easy for me. I almost committed suicide over it because I honestly believed I am simply too terrible a person.
It took me realizing the Seniors I care for and I love need me that talked me out if taking my own life. And actually, the whole reason I tell this story. Is because I want to thank you, Courtney. You posted the video explaining the 5 things I should be doing besides chasing women.
I decided for now to focus on doing these 5 things. I believe my purpose is to help seniors enjoy their final days as best I can. So I’m doubling down and pushing and really trying to work to be really good at it! I joined a gym and Weight Watchers and already lost 18 pounds. I got promoted at work back in October and was rewarded with a big raise and a good health insurance plan, so I’m going to use it to clean my teeth and to go into therapy and to talk about this. I’m going to attend Weight Watchers meetings for now and see if I can build my social circle up. I just paid off my credit card bills. Perhaps it’s time to focus on my finances and though I’m really afraid of being alone. Perhaps it’s time to face it and learn to find meaning in it.
As for the woman I have a huge crush on. I can’t help my feelings or help that she has a great boyfriend and I can’t help that she isn’t interested in me. But I can back off of her and focus on letting go and seeing what I can do to find my own happiness. So I just decided to love her unconditionally and move on and let go of any expectations of ever being romantic and sexual and intimate with her. I’ve met her boyfriend a few times, he is really a great guy. Only reason I want him to go away is because he has her, I want her and I can’t have her myself. That’s all. So I’ll focus on letting my envy over this guy go away and not interfere with the development of their relationship.
She doesn’t know I really I like her this much, she also doesn’t know that I value our friendship and working relationship more. So I won’t tell anybody except god, my therapist, and if relevant, my dating coach I am going to hire soon that I have these feelings of intimate and romantic desire for her. Let’s see what we can do to become an attractive male and fix my problem. I already caught a lot of issues and I’m ironing them out. Thank you to anybody reading this.
4:53 This is true of everyone, not just women. If someone asks you for something and you do it "with a smile on your face" they think it's "cool for you" and keep asking. Seriously, some people will even ask you to "dig their garden" without seeing that it takes several hours and is tiring.
Ask that same person would they dig my grave for me
just users and abusers
Worst case is when people with more money and privilege than you will ask you to help their gofundme! Like no, I have a 5 year old Toyota and you have a brand new BMW.
This somewhat reminds me of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom comes across that flirting female white cat who was an ultimate gold digger and did everything in his power to win her over (flowers, jewelry, literally going broke to get her a lame car) only to leave with the black alpha cat. Tom was left in a depressive and suicidal state sitting in the middle of the railroad. That was one of the most powerful and deep moments in cartoon history and despite being a cartoon that’s an episode we can all take notes from.
That's episode is really emotional deep
Or the cartoon with the simping skunk. I forget the name of it.
@@GaryAJMartin Pepe Le Pew
I sobbed uncontrollably during that episode. Thanx for the memories.
@@autocross350z that’s the one!
He was always trying so hard to ‘get the girl’.
Even though it was so obvious the girl wanted nothing to do with him.
NEVER CHASE WOMEN! It’s a complete waste of time and energy. You need to focus on yourself and chase excellence, then women will start to notice and come. You’re killing two birds with one stone.
1 Timothy 2:9-15 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness-with good works. 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing-if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
Women usually know if she wants to date you the first minute she meets you. It’s hard to get her to change her mind about you. Move on.
yup, same with guys we know if we really want to date you or just make love.
Yup, it’s that simple. If she likes you, you will be made aware of it by her. But the most common mistake some men make is thinking she likes them when she either doesn’t or is just using them
If a woman would let a guy come in and do things for her that her boyfriend/husband is not doing for her then I would not want a relationship with that woman. She is either using you and is not going leave her boyfriend/husband. Or she is looking to cheat. Neither is acceptable.
Yes, I was guilty at one point. My crush had this dude she went to for sex, yet went to me for money or other practical favours.
Once I realised my folly, I quickly rectified matters. When she needed a hand moving, I asked her:- well what's your boyfriend doing?? Ask him! I literally never saw her again.
Yup, and if this woman was just a platonic friend to you, the favors could've been going both ways... i.e. she could've hooked you up with her friends, or helped you with a resume or job reference. The favors and money wouldn't flow all one direction if she even cared about you as a friend.
@@RealYRM yup
jesus this is terrifying, knowing that I need to have just one more competition all the time in my life besides my career really makes me just want to subsist on hookers and therapists indefinitely
As men, one way or another, we always end up paying for wmn (restaurants, alcohol, cinema, gasoline needed for car rides, condoms, hotels, etc.), and, at least nowadays, most wmn have been used up by many other dudes, so we might as well subsist on hookers (less bullshit and straight to the point).
What a weak mindset. The dating life has always been this way, it’s always been competitive. The more attractive you are the more women you get.
The positive side to this as a man, is that our attraction is not purely based on looks but relies mostly on personality, money, physique etc. All those things you have control of.
Start improving and whine less, be a man
@@vibin4092 “man up” eh?
There are women who want traditional relationships, and sometimes their expectations aren't completely out of line with reality. If she has had time to realize how bad the dating scene is... if she hears stories from friends about how bad it is, she might start to become aware that the level of hot/rich guy who will bang her is not the same as the level of guy who will consider a loyal relationship with her. That said, you STILL have to take care of yourself... you don't need to be a 10/10, but if you're above average you can find something to stick.
@@SnerMerNer What I'm saying is to take responsibility for your life and improve it in any way you can, and that worrying about things you have no control over is useless.
Been there. The prettiest girl in my school started showing interest in me after she broke up with her older boyfriend who had graduated a couple of years and worked maintenence for the town. We talked every day at school and on the phone and even made some plans together and things looked so good...then she decided to get back togther with him the week before prom. I kicked myself for years for thinking I actually had a solid chance with her and gave her so much attention.
Sorry hear that bro I had similar situation but I rejected her before got chance
Learning experience! I know dudes in their 30s who still suffer from orbiting/idealizing. Glad you learned your lesson! 🙏
I’m sorry to hear that man, don’t worry tho I’m sure you’ll find even better
Just curious, ever see them together afterwards?
@@MikeyP109 Yes, a few times. They broke up for good a year later.
I'm definitely NOT the guy that would do anything for a woman who is not my girlfriend
Facts
BRO!!!! Don't do it when she IS your girlfriend.
I'd even limit myself during the dating and courting phases. I've seen lots of guys taking their dates or newly acquired gfs to Paris. I will NOT take a woman to Paris unless she's my wife.
@@thefox47545 She's gotta earn the trips and spoilings from me.
But you did some shady stuff for the Donald!
I've always been the type that if the energy is not reciprocated everything stops.
Thanks Courtney for this refresher. She doesn't always make it one sided, but there are times when I share with her, like my art work for example and she doesn't ever respond positively or anything to them. It is like she sees it but just ignores it and relies with something off topic. I notice these little things which I think is the step in the right direction for me and my growth as a person and man.
Step one to solving a problem is noticing the problem 🙏
If she’s talking to other “men” while she’s in a relationship and the other guy knows it, love on fast. She has no respect for you or the relationship and let the cling on have her and find a women that has values and respect
That's why you NEVER even consider girls who have a circle of guy friends hanging around her, waiting to be the next boyfriend
My first semester as a transfer student, I met this one girl. I sat with her in a group because as soon as I saw her I immediately wanted to see if I'd have a chance. Now, I didn't make it clear that I like her. We talked a few times and she seemed to have no problem with me. However, my next semester I happened to have a class with her (and saw she has a boyfriend). She texts me for the first time only to ask if I did this/that for the class and when I answered I did not, no response then when I tried asking her something again no response. I didn't let that get to me, I kept moving forward. I do care a lot about her and would like to talk to her more but if she was like that to me then maybe I'm better off not talking to her.
Not worth thinking about. She’s probably not even thinking about you because she’s busy with other stuff. I would cut my losses and move on. Lots of other women out there, especially if you’re in school! Also definitely as someone out as soon as you can. Good luck! 🙏
And every Girl has a Guy that She's in love madly...and it's not Her Boyfriend.We know that's true also.
Chasing Chad doesn't work either. Unless just want end up being used and wasting time in a "situationship"
if all woman acted like courtney we would have a lot less problems
4:25 This bit's eye-opening. If a man treated a woman like a doormat, he'd be roundly - and rightly - criticised for treating her badly/selfishly. Here though, if the woman's treating the man like a doormat, the language is more of "what the man will allow", "you're letting her treat you like a doormat" and "the fault really comes down to you". This is not intended as a criticism of Courtney, but she is unconsciously demonstrating how pernicious and ingrained this way of thinking is in our society: however a man or a woman might be behaving, the onus is on the man to fix things. If a woman bent over backwards for a man, and the man took it all for granted giving nothing in return, does anybody seriously think there WOULDN'T be a conversation swiftly directed at the man, admonishing him for not "treating her right' and telling him to shape up?
If you want to smash the patriarchy, women have to make as much effort as men do. Alternatively, if you want to hold women to lower standards - either directly, or indirectly through omission - the patriarchy will remain in situ.
To be honest influencers on social media caused a lot of relationship problems in life. We never had these problems back in the 80's. Because there was far less superficial humans. I have to agree with Courtney these days this is how it is.
This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about and it’s the ego inflation of social media doing this. Usually these people have personal issues too. People mistake fake internet points for meaning/substance. Just have to focus on self, respect healthy personal boundaries and not be outcome dependent. There are great women out there who just need to be found! Even women with inflated egos will respect someone more for not simping.
Yeah Courtney nails it all the time
Even in 90s
@@Smiler2724 Yeah to be fair it started in the 90's I grew up in 80's and school in the 90's I agree, women were always going after the ones that looked good, because of the parents though how women were raised different in the 80's to transition to the 90's. Fair point m8
I think it had something to do with MTV how they all dressed up so stylish and were so sexy, and dance music videos and rappers, how they portrait women in their videos, how boys looked in the videos they all looked so appealing and all dressed up to impress and look hot.
Then there's the people that said I wished Ihad them in my life, or I wished I was like that to dress that way to be cool. The idea behind being cool became being hot is what made you cool and people just wanted a slice of that cake. It just got worse every year in the 90's but could be hardly noticeable because it was so much more aparent in the 2000's.
@@deusvlad2.083 yep that stuff has been going on way back since then
It's tough. I use the dating apps and every time something doesn't work out with a new girl, I give in to the temptation to return to the girl who keeps me in this zone. She's always there, she responds immediately, she's always down to talk about anything, she's sweet to me, she's a great listener, she even tells me I'm important to her and she has feelings for me and she feels jealous when I'm with other girls. But she staunchly refuses to be my girlfriend or to have sex. I've blocked her multiple times but she always turns up with a new number a few months later and the cycle repeats. I don't understand what her problem is. To be honest she would be lucky to have me. Really do not understand why she'd rather do things this way.
She only wants your attention or fill guy piss on her. Keep trying on date apps you will. Have success brother god bless you
Ignore her and don’t respond. She’s no good for you. You owe it to yourself to be with someone who wants the same things as you. Boundaries aren’t just for other people but also for our self. Best wishes! 🙏
Tell her blatantly that you want nothing to do with her as she’s just wasting your time
I did this and let her borrow money. As soon as I started talking to her about paying back the loan she ghosted me. I recently sent her a certified letter saying if she doesn’t start paying me back by the end of the month I’m taking her to court. She is now answering me messages again. This time I’m not looking to be friends I’m making sure she is paying me back. In a way she helped me to start making boundaries and keeping them. I have plenty of issues to work on but that is not going to be one of them. I’m done with people taking advantage of me.
I have seen too many guys do this. There is no upside. It is not possible for anything good to come out of it. So I won't do it. Think it through.
If she leaves him for me, she'll eventually do the same to me, because it's who she is. If he dumps her, then I'm her second choice, at best. Same result. Also, she sees that I don't have enough respect for myself to forget about her, even though her first choice is not me. So she has no respect for me either, unless it suits her, until it doesn't.
One girlfriend asked me if I would take back an ex. I had never considered it. After thinking it over, I gave her my answer the next day. If my ex left me, it was for a reason. If for a good reason, then she's not respecting herself in wanting me back. If for a bad reason, then I would not be respecting myself in taking her back. If I am the one who left my ex, the same reasons apply in reverse. Regardless who left, or for what reason, it's hard to imagine a good reason to take the ex back. Kids together is the biggest exception to this. But even with that, the reasons for the breakup should not be forgotten easily, nor taken lightly.
I've never taken back an ex. But thanks to the question from my then girlfriend, I know I never will. I don't know why she asked me that. But I'm glad she did.
In all of this, lack of self respect is the source of doing the wrong things. And healthy self respect will prevent it.
Women should become more honorable and politely reject help if they don't have equal intentions.
I think…that thought has crossed my mind when I was 18-24 years old but after contemplating trying to do those nice gestures are meaningless because they already have a bf/fiancé and it’s a waste of time and money so I personally never went there and I never thought of that an actual option for any man to do.
We should normalize "being kind" and "doing things for others" without overanalyzing the act, thinking it's "romantic" or "too much", and he surely wants something from you. If you're a good friend of mine, I will care about you and I will do stuff for you. Of course, this relation should be bidirectional, so if the other person doesn't do anything for me, I would stop.
But yeah, your points about the fill-in guys still stand. They exist.
Yes, bidirectional is key! If she doesn’t put in effort either she doesn’t care or doesn’t have space for you. There’s a term called outcome independence that means we shouldn’t be tied to outcomes. If a relationship dynamic is causing us stress then we need to check in why and be honest about it. The easiest person for us to fool is ourselves! Always with kindness and without expectations of course!! 🙏
The line between being a gentleman and simp is when money is involved.
Holding the door for a woman is being a gentleman. Paying for her coffee because she "forgot her wallet" is being a simp. Helping the girl next door carry in a large package or groceries is being a gentleman. Subscribing to her web stream is being a simp.
Being an unpaid photographer, unpaid chauffeur, or unpaid mental therapist is being a simp. Get paid for doing your job. Don't volunteer to do other people's job.
If she won't accept a date offer after you have been a gentleman, move on and don't become a simp by giving resources.
How did we get to the point of a society that allows jezebel spirit to run free, if a woman has a boyfriend or husband she is never to have other men in any capacity contact her or her him for any reason, and ill go further, that woman if contacted by other men needs to make it plain and clear she is now in a relationship and she wants no further contact from men, that's not insecurity, that's honoring and respecting your relationship
If I'm attracted to you, it's either we go out or I'm moving on. I don't do that friendzone crap. No man in their right mind has time for that.
If you let people walk all over you, it’s your fault, but it’s also theirs. The people disrespecting you don’t get off the hook because you’ve allowed it.
553k on her way to 2M 💪
Hard truths. She either likes you or she doesn’t. By all means Courtney, keep the tough love coming. We need it…. I need it
You're absolutely right about focussing on what she does and not what she says! However, like everything in life, there are exceptions to rules! For example, I had an experience with a long-term friend I didn't know was a covert/vulnerable narcissist, who behaved in the completely opposite manner! She came onto me, was fully prepared to do lots of physical activities with me and the following day would freak out about not being ready for a relationship and how I was a friend and that she was confused and distancing herself, only to come onto me again a few days later, repeating the cycle and swearing me to secrecy about what was going on between us! This is equally toxic and emotionally manipulative behaviour and someone I soon had to walk away from entirely, as a result! So, be aware of this type of person and behaviour, too!
I have been on both ends of the spectrum as the boyfriend who was oblivious to her "standby guy" waiting in the shadows, as well as being the "standby guy" who wanted to swoop in after her boyfriend made a mistake. I am so glad I am grown up and not playing those childish games and wasting my valuable time like that. As harsh as this seems, I must state this. If and when I meet and have a relationship with a gal, and she has a "standby guy" that she can "monkeybranch" to if I make a mistake, then he can have her for all I care. His problem to take care of. She's gonna do the same thing to him and all the others until she hits the wall and can't get a man.
Met a girl I really liked on Hinge and went on a few dates a couple months ago. She recently texted me a week ago she decided to go with another candidate. I haven’t contacted her since she sent the text. I was thinking about texting her tonight and I’m taking this video as a sign not to. Thanks Courtney
If it really was a close decision between you and that other guy, if they broke up or he turned out to be not what she was looking for, she could just reach out to you and see if it's too late to get a second chance. Most likely, since you haven't heard from her, she's still with that guy, or it wasn't as good for her as it was for you. That might not be your fault at all, it could be her having unreasonable expectations, or just that she has different preferences. You might have to sift through 1,000 women to find 10 that are candidates for a relationship.
@@RealYRM thanks man, that makes me feel a lot better. I’m not sure how close it was but I’m just going to assume she made the optimal choice for her and move on.
I enjoy the terminology as per job interview style. Cant say i even try to use dating apps anymore. tinders a dumpster fire just kinda wait till life points me in some direction i guess
@@mysltical666 honestly there is no harm in looking. Tinder really has the worst human beings on there. Hinge is great because the app forces you to put more information about yourself and you have a real feel for the person you are seeing. It also limits your likes and tells the other person you liked them so you won’t get buried in the sea of endless men swiping right on everyone.
@@jdealz9983 Close only counts in horseshoes and grenade throwing. Second place is first loser. Everything in dating hinges on what the woman wants at the time you ask her out. So employ the 1 strike rule.
Hi Courtney. Great content, however I feel like I need to add a bit of a bonus to this topic, which is the reason why these men are pushovers and acting like a doormat.
It’s great you shed some lights on the guys’ attitude towards women, but behind these pushover people there is some serious psychology, certain behavioral patterns that first have to be adressed. And this what you’ll read below coming from therapy sessions I’ve had as well. Please read.
Recently I have been dumped by the nicest girl I’ve ever dated, while I was facing difficulties myself in my personal life. We met at a New Years eve party, we were dating for about some weeks, I loved every moment. But behind the curtain I had a job I hated, I had to move out my apartment and find an new place because I was scammed, was supposed to be doing an online school I was behind, and on the top of this I had to support my family both financially and with my time and attention due to my brother’s depression. Saying I was not in right moment for dating and being in a relationship is an understatement.
The girl knew nothing about these. I didn’t even tell her about the job, even though we we colleagues. In retrospect, for the last couple of weeks I only just wanted to go to her place to watch a movie/cuddle. Didn’t want to do anything, just wanted to end my days with her. Then she ended this one night with a long midnight conversation, saying she wanted more.
Guys who chase women are not satisfied with their life, not getting enough fullfilment from their own life, career, their goal, their friend-family relationships, they are relied on a romantic relationship to fill the love- and attention void. I was relied on it too. I was swimming in a pink cloud when I was hanging out with this girl, but in the meantime she was my safe haven from my own life where I was deeply insecure and unsatisfied. When I was with her it felt like a drug, she was the best part of my day and my life for a short term. When this has been taken away it was like taking the meth away from a junkie. I fell into a mild depression.
Through therapy, and long evening walks while talking to friends and family (or walking just by my own reflecting on my past decisions) I have found I have deep issues: Difficulties of opening up because of childhood traumas, coping mechanisms that I noticed on myself, toxic masculinity traits, lacking excitement and purpose of my life, unstable family relationships, lacking self-respect and chasing people for getting this affection and attention that I haven’t had for a long time, again, because of childhood.
This was not the first girl I have chased and dumped by afterwards. And that is the reason why I started this self-reflection journey because I have recognised my patterns.
I hope you read it Courtney and managed to get some insights on the issue of these people. Now, I know dealing with the past and traumas are not what your channel is about, but this is the root of all trouble for these guys. For us. I believe mental health is extremely important and men’s mental health are not being emphasised enough.
Thank you for reading this either Courtney or anyone reading this. If your a chaser guy, please recognize that you’re floating in this pink cloud and you’re seeking attention and validation from other areas of your life as well. Recognize this, work on yourself. Respect yourself. Don’t be afraid to quit your shitty job if you dislike it. Call your family if you miss them. Confront others if they treat you bad. Respecting yourself first and setting boundaries in other areas of life is key and it is the way in order to have a happy and fullfilling relationship.
Of course it’s the men’s fault. Imagine if men said, “ if your man hits you it’s because you tolerate it”. Don’t get me wrong, she is usually right, and ultimately her point is valid, but I had to point this out.
Yeah and saying "it's not malicious" I think is down playing it cause many times (just like with DV) the person getting abused has been groomed and manipulated into it by the abuser. And the number of videos on how to get/keep a guy around to pay your bills, etc. is way higher than Courtney's tone about the subject implies. But yeah, it's always the man's fault.
Girls are to be respected and not abused .It has to be two way traffic and I learned my lessons.
If you’re average/ugly you need to “chase” women. If you’re Chris Evans you don’t.
This mindset is why you need to chase
You don't "need" to do anything. Is not having a relationship going to kill you. It's not food or air or water... yeah things are easy if you are a movie star but stop playing the victim.
@@SpoonHurler I love your thinking, it's what I try to tell others. Being in a relationship is beautiful but it isn't the only good thing in life as there many other things worth investing in
Thanks for bringing up the point of personal responsibility instead of encouraging the blame/ victim mentality, like what many of these Tik Toks do. Everyone needs to have respect for themselves.
I'm currently holding a candle for a girl in a relationship who is 10 years younger and have been helping her with various favours here and there, getting her a legitimate side income, as well as mentoring her younger brother who has faced difficulty in life. I'm still doing this while focusing on my own development, working full time and enrolling in 2 professional courses simultaneously while still serving in church.
Even though I have several other options, somehow they can't measure up to her in my eyes, and have been hoping to see that the guy she's currently seeing can't meet her needs the way I do. I feel like I'm doomed romantically.
It bothers me that women will use a guy who that they know wants to be their boyfriend - but is never going to be. Find some other way to get what you want without using this guy.
Yes, men. Stop chasing women and let them all die alone when they realize Chad doesn't want to marry her. The only way they will learn.
Guys... 1 - Don't break up another man's relationship or family, don't believe her sob stories, she'll be telling them about you in a few years. 2 - Don't give women time, attention and money on websites or OF. 3 - Relationships are more possible if the woman realizes how bad the dating scene is for her, and if she realizes that the level of guy who will use her is not the same level who would have a relationship with her... she has to realize this for her to have a chance to not take a relationship for granted. The number one quality to look for is HER INTEREST LEVEL IN YOU.
Want to get out of a friendzone? Drop her like you drop a dookie in the toilet then flush and never see that again. Period.
This was definitely me !!!, it went on for five years, even to the point where I put her in nursing school and it still did not make her like me any more 🤦🏻♂️
It has taken the last 5 months for me to get over her the heartache was REAL !!!!
And she could have cared less how I was feeling or the emotions that I went through....it was horrible and went from a 10 down to a 2 finally, when I'm a solid 0 I'll be better and can finally put her out of my brain.... though probably think about her the rest of my life❤️🩹
First of all a woman in a relationship with a man shouldn't have MALE FRIENDS. Let's just get that important rule out of the way first.
I can tell ya'all what I "am" doing right now. I have never compromised my integrity; I'm not abusive to women, I still open doors, I pay for the first date, I intentionally have free time... and money... to spend on women/girls
(just because people/(women) treat you/(me) like crap, is no excuse for becoming a terrible person.
BUT! I now have two rules
1. Don't have sex with anyone until ya have spent 4 weekends together and just enjoyed each others company. Sex is fun, but if ya can't get along the other 99% of the time? its never going to work out.
2. I just match what they (women) do. If they respond to my text immediately, I respond to there text immediately. if they stop texting, I stop texting. It they ask for a favor... or money... or ANYTHING, I ask for something. If they say NO I say No. if they say YES, I say YES. If I buy them a drink and they come and talk to me, then I buy them another one.
Just mirror the energy she is giving you. And you will find yourself absolutly utterly alone for 8 years just like I have.
I would definitely agree with this. But I've also lost girlfriends to men who chased them, who happened to have a lot of money.
Is it really chasing if they are using money as bait though... sounds more like hunting to me.
@@SpoonHurler yup they know where the soft spot is
3:45 and 4:04. If you are in this situation, the thing to do when she contacts you because she wants something, is to tell her to call her boyfriend.
Sometimes it takes what I went through at a young age to catch on to this. I was turning into that other guy when I sat down with a friend who actually WAS that other guy 😮 The pained look on his face and the stress in his voice as we talked about his crush whom I knew he had absolutely no chance with was a huge wakeup call for me. He was just miserable. If I didn't smarten up, I was going to end up exactly like him. So I made sure that I didn’t. Sometimes you need a metaphorical look at your own future to smarten up.
IMHO all this shows or proves is that all (MOST) women think/care about in a man as a partner/romantic interest are the shallow, or superficial things - looks, hotness, money, etc. How A man treats her, what he does/would do for her, cares ABOUT her, RESPECTS her, does/would not abuse her, etc means absolutely Diddly Squat.
Yet you always hear women say things like, "I want a man who's caring, respects me, treats me right" etc. BULL$#!T!! Well MAYBE as an afterthought, but as far as whether or not those are the main factors that decide whether or not a guy is or will be a potential romantic interest goes, the chances are ZERO!
Not saying that the men who are the ones "on the side" shouldn't move on, but rather don't always just blame THEM, or call them "Simps" etc, and NOT put any blame on the women for being shallow, oblivious, and letting their hormones make their decisions rather than their head, or even their heart.
I found myself in a similar situation to the chaser. A girl that knows I like her has clearly confirmed that she has a crush on me. The problem is that she knows it's wrong since she's in a committed relationship and hopes the feelings will fade for the both of us.
Being that we're coworkers of the opposite sex that spend 8 hrs every other day together we became friends that unintentionally developed feelings for each other; I call it the Deserted Island Effect. While she believes we have a fairly normal satisfactory friendship, I consider myself in friendship limbo between friend and accuantence. We used to do more friendship-like things together like hang out outside of work and hug but ever since I told her how I felt, all of that disappeared.
I think it's necessary to say why I confessed. It was for my own mental state. She wondered why I'd get into a bit of a depressive state whenever her boyfriend came along and I didn't want to keep lying about it. I've also heard from sources wiser than me to not bottle up emotions. I didn't confess to have her start liking me and drop her guy, especially since I was sure she wouldn't do that(this was before she had her own feelings). So now we can no longer hang out alone, and no more hugs. She texts me everyday all the time as a way to salvage the friendship I imagine, but it's just so one-sided.
Eventually I requested if we could go back to end of shift hugs, even if it was a side-hugs, but it's still "no." I struggle to justify our relationship as so much as "friendship" if I can't do the same things I do with other friends. I know she's not doing this maliciously, but it's sapping my life away. It there's one thing I've learned about guy-girl friendships, is that they are impossible to make work if at least one of the two are single.
What if they’re both single?
@@Kenny-ep2nf Very rarely do friends of opposite sex remain in a platonic relationship without some sort of sexual tension. You either make your move or move on.
@@MusclesMcLargehuge I guess just make a move and hope you don’t have a broken heart?
@@Kenny-ep2nf yep, go for it dude.
@@MusclesMcLargehuge yep
Hey Courtney, been watching your videos for a few months. I wanted to hear your thoughts on the difference between being confident and being intense or pushy or coming off too strong. A quote I head someone say is "Confidence is being able to go up to a girl and say something without worrying if she will like you afterwards"
Confidence is something that can’t really be taught but either comes naturally or from experience. There’s a saying that confidence is competence. Basically be around people, be socially/emotionally intelligent and recognize situations for what they really are. It only gets easier with time and experience! 🙏
Generally speaking, some of these things that you have told Courtney, can be used in any live situations whether it is about the friendship, searching for jobs, etc.
I agree that there should be boundaries putted as well. I sometimes see that some people are confusing the terms such as being too nice person, and not having boundaries. Being nice person means behaving polite, and normal as well. But not having boundaries means that you will tolerate things that aren't good for either you, or either your way of living as well (health, job, education, etc.).
Sometimes it's good when the relationship starts from friendship as well. If you tell an honest thing to girl what do you feel to her, it might happen that she will ask you this question sometimes: "Are you still in love at me?" In the beginning it will be like a shock, but when some amount of time passes (let's call it that way), she will ask the mentioned question, and even perhaps: "Do you still feel some love between us?" I know that will sound probably stupid, crazy, to some people, but that's just that.
But if we are going to wait that much for mistakes that either women, or men to be made in order to go out with the person that are interested as well, then it would be more like Waiting for Godot (who has reed that book, they know what am I talking about; who hasn't reed that book, my advice is to read it as well).
I always remember one thing that my father told me when I was little. He told me this: "Son, be nice to everyone, but don't overdo it."
I also even saw one quote few months ago. It goes like this: "Be so good to yourself that you can get up from the table when you are no longer being shown any respect at all."
most people aren't emotionally mature enough to be in a serious intimate relationship - which requires honestly openness communication with the thoughts and feelings of self and an ability to know who you are and what you need, want, and generally like in life, which includes family, community, partner, lover, etc.
chasing should never be part of it
it should all come from MUTUAL desire to know each other, get to know each other more, be in each other's lives - that is a huge part of why friendship is an essential foundation
I’ve rejected two friendzone attempts which may have been just intended to make me a backup. Then another woman didn’t even have the courage to say lets be friends. The anger they get when rejected is ridiculous, like I should entertain them while they give nothing back. Be a man when they say lets just be friends and walk away! Say no thanks and move on.
Hell yeah
Well if a random guy is closer than you think... As a boyfriend why are you with your girlfriend???
People in a relationship need to shut out everything not in the relationship,period.solved.
I said what I said.
I think that's a key point- that guy will do anything for her, but she doesn't like him
In that case he’s wasting his time
@@Kenny-ep2nf well, he's also not a threat to the relationship
@@fitforfreelance yeah but still
@@Kenny-ep2nf that's his problem. Just don't be that guy
@@fitforfreelance agreed
The fact is the "standby guy" usually has a better shot when he doesnt know he's the standby guy (paradoxical, I know) plus it's somehow more fun if the guy she's cheating on kind of deserves it. However it is a sobering reminder, if she can do it *with* you, there's very little stopping her from doing it *to* you.
Yeah exactly
You know, I think I've done something right. In all the years I've looked for love, and despite my rotten record of bad luck, I've never resorted to this kind of behavior. I *have* tried to be a conscientious and attentive boyfriend when I've had the chance, but she walked off anyway, even without someone waiting, because she wasn't serious. Her loss.
Imagine wanting to do absolutely anything for a girl? That level of simpery is insane. have some self respect lads.
You know what Courtney, finding a relationship
does not work. That stuff just occurs naturally and can’t be controlled.
Maybe
No not maybe, true!
But yeah, she has the full control to end it with you or ghost you when you least expect it.
Yeah but that’s not what I meant to say
I think the point is to make space in life for a relationship and to be open to one. Looking for a relationship can help as long as someone is going about it the right away. I’ve missed signals/opportunities because I wasn’t looking. It’s chasing that doesn’t work or leads to an unhealthy caricature of a relationship.
The guy who is in the relationship, needs to learn how to handle the man who is just a friend with your woman. Let the simp know, "You don't know anything about my relationship with (girl's name), you don't know shit. That's exactly what you know, shit. If you try to kiss my woman, we're gonna have a problem." If the simp replies, "I am not afraid of you." Calmly, coldly advise him, "Only stupid people say that, that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter if you're afraid of me or not. I am a vindictive person, just like I can't stop you from kissing (girl's name), you can't stop me from getting even with you." I did exactly that myself during college, my girlfriend and I were talking about marriage. And moving in together. One of her male friend and classmate, advised her that I don't look like an honest person. She told me what Mark said, and I confronted him about that. I advised him that (girl's name) told me what you said, that I don't look like an honest person ? I told him angrily, and after every sentence I was getting louder and angrier. The last sentence was, "YOU DON'T KNOW IF MY INTENTIONS ARE HONORABLE OR DISHONORABLE !!! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU KNOW - SHIT !!! He apologized, and we shook hands. If you're the type that starts yelling like I was, back when I was in my early 20's. Don't do it in front of your girl - lol. Even in our older years, there are men who still play that game of, 'I am just your friend, I'll do anything for you." Plus, there are friends who will betray you, because they are jealous and envious. That you have a woman, and they don't. I had that happen to me. My so called friend after he, kissed my girl. Several days later, he calls me up and tells me (girl's name) just said she loves me. Two days later, he calls me up again and tells me (girl's name) just told my mother that she's my girlfriend. Both times I told him. "Okay, that's nice. I am happy for you. I gotta go." Click. A month later he tells me that (girl's name) dumped me. I started laughing, and asked, "Why would you do something like that, can't you get your own girlfriend ?" The ex friend told me, that she was complaining that I was cheating on her. Thinking that I was a dirt bag. I replied, "I fractured my hip, I can't do anything right now. I need her to take me to doctor's appointments. How can I cheat on her ? She used you, and dumped you. That's hilarious. Ĺmao. God used you, to get her away from me. Obviously she's a low value (dirty insult). The typical goto excuse women use, to not take responsibility nor accountability for themselves. Hiding their own ugly behavior." Good luck to one and all.
I really appreciate what was said here. Too many people try to convince me that I have a bad attitude or spirit with me because I have self-respect and don't allow people to "punch me in the face" so to speak.
If that’s what they call a “bad spirit” then I wear that badge with pride 😊
👍 If you knows a wo/man is already in a relationship and still has the fantasy or illusion the s/he will eventually leaves the relationship for you just because you would do anything to win her/him, then the joke is really on you.
I've got a friend that is a simp on steriods. She called him recently to help her move. He did everything including renting the moving truck and calling his friends to help. He did the FULL move while she spent the day at her man's house getting tuned up. I wanted to slap him! Guys PLEASE stop this simping!
loyalty isnt something you can just shrug off, people don't understand- if your thinking of some one else - what did YOU do?
I’d love to see you do a video on attachment styles.
Isnt is a red flag if she has "guy friends"?
I think i'm in a unique predicament. My best friend of 12 years was the one with feelings, for about 6-8 of those 12 years. At times, we were intimate. She had eventually moved on when i repeatedly told her i didnt think it would be a good idea for us to date and i wouldn't want to risk our friendship. In the last 4-6 months, she caught feelings for another guy, strong feelings, and since then ive noticed the shift in our friendship and i've become scared, jealous, full of regret and almost depressed, and now i believe i have become the side guy. And i think its hard to just dash from the role because she has done more for me than almost anyone in my entire life. During three of my past relationships, she stayed close, offered anything and everything, and was never petty or pushy about her feelings. She was single the entire time, almost as if she was hopelessly waiting for the day i came around, but she never pushed on it. Now that I am finally going through what she went through, and from months of reflection on what could have been, i am falling for her more and more and more. A classic case of you dont know what you got till its gone
If a woman is not physically attracted to you from the start, it is very unlikely she will ever see you as a potential romantic partner. She may get to know you and perhaps like you more or give you a chance but you will never be her first option and you will be replaced eventually unless you have $$$
I've lost several GREAT girlfriends because I stopped appreciating them. BUT, as I got older I learned that all I really want is to live on the solo. I'm very spiritual, very artistic, and very introverted. And the thought of having married any of those great women seems like a fate worse than death. If you have a girl and don't fully appreciate her, consider that maybe you're not supposed to be anyone's partner. Just a thought.
Define "full appreciation"
Well, appreciating and simping are very different.
But some people are just not cut out fir a relationship. It does take effort. It’s not a greased chute where you can do nothing. They are human beings too, and deserved to be treated as you would like to be. Assuming they aren’t a boss bitch entitled women, of course. They deserve contempt.
A really interesting way of looking at it. Thank you
@@alaunaenpunto3690 When I was young and cocky I always wound up treating my girlfriends like a burden. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I always just wanted to be alone. I got drunk 24/7 and went to strip clubs all the time and flirted with other girls openly right in front of them. I’m not advocating simping by any means. I’m saying if you’re the guy who doesn’t value his girl, soul search yourself instead of just finding another girl.
@@Basilfilmer solid advise
While I still do stuff for women, it's either 100% as a friend or purely out of courtesy/politeness if they are strangers, and I will not do anything that has the potential of taking me out of the friend zone or allow them to see me as a potential suitor. After all the failed relationships I've been in, I've learned that I'm much happier just staying friends and remaining single.
Based, I’ve only ever been friends with girls and that’s it. I never had it in me to ask them out as it’s just something I don’t wanna risk doing, if they wanna date me they know how to ask
For every woman, there are 1,000 men chasing her. For every man, there is only 1 woman. Men don't have options, but women do.
That’s why . I’ve just given up on dating. And just focus on myself, and building myself up .
Bottom line. Learn to Love Yourself First. Love who you are. Your being, self esteem and self worth. Then focus on dating. If you love yourself: your taking care of your body, your shoring up your finances, your sociable, you have goals, you have more confidence and you realize your worth it. If you do that. You won’t have to be in the friend zone or a simp. You won’t be used and taken advantage of by a woman or a man for that matter because people can sense that shit. Laterz. I love your content Courtney. You are a Rockstar. 😊 Everyone watching and learning/growing, you are Rockstars also.
Courtney I love this video, great job. I was that guy for a time, but eventually (and amazingly, tbh, because I was quite inexperienced) realized what was happening, and had to cut her out of my life.
So, you're telling me, even after I get a girl to go out with me, not only do I have to do a bunch of things to make her happy, but I also have to worry about a side guy? The more information I hear the less it sounds like a relationship is worth it. Does this work in the opposite direction too? Do guys have female friends ready to "swoop in" when she messes up?
Doubt it
I'm the guy that hopes she don't come around. I don't need these kind of women and most women are this way. Being single is easy nowadays. Yeah for me
"Every girl has a guy in her friend zone who will do anything for her"
And that's why he's in the friend zone lol