So you're implying no one can change? You've been perfect all your life and never realized you made mistakes when you were younger, so no one should ever give you another opportunity, right?
@@Swearengen1980they can change their thinking but she’s ultimately still going to find those men more attractive and she’s essentially settling for you.
Hilarious, this all boils down to "Had my fun, now I want the nerd who worked on himself and became hot" Are women really this unaware? Good god its cringe
yes, they absolutely are this unaware. when you are driven and motivated by emotions, you are simply unaware of what is actually true and not emotionally true for you.
Grow tf up bro. You ain't better sticking your junk raw into every inanimate hole you can find. You probably picked up tentanis along the way and who knows what else.
I hate to say it but I agree with this sentiment and have seen this in dating as well. I have been on countless dates with single moms who dated shitty dudes, had a couple of kids and now in their late 20s early 30s want someone with a dental plan and health insurance to take care of them. As a dude who has had a career since 21 and is a widow, fuck no. I do not exist to be your rebound because you dated a string of emotionally unavailable men, some of whom you had offspring with. Hard fucking pass.
@@Saltpork305hahaha right. Seeing this currently in many places. Hot younger girls getting knocked up so fast only for them to be single mothers later. No ones using their brains.
One big problem is that women go for the Bad Boys when they're under 35, then (once they've had their wild times) they want to find a nerd who has been successful and settle down. She's spent 15-20 years partying with "hot Chad" and gets upset that when she wants to settle down with the "kind, successful, smart" nerd she rejected (who is now wealthy) but find that he is looking to date younger women with lower body counts ... and she blames "men" for the situation she created.
A guy can be a bad boy and a nerd. My ex told me I was a mix of both and that's why girls gravitate toward me. I am a nerdy guy I love to read, I love art and make decent money in the music scene where I live but I was also in the military for nine years and I treat everyone like shit because I have bad untreated PTSD and mental issues lol. I can't help it either I guess I'm just destined to be an asshole.
I’m in IT. I am not a bad looking guy. I’m fairly attractive. I have a ton of hobbies. I’m learning a second language. I’m a good guy, but you know what? I feel invisible. That being said, I refuse to give up.
Systems Engineer here and on the same boat. I'm at the point where I'm just going where I go and if I hopefully find someone, great... if not, oh well.
@@Swearengen1980I can see why you say the comments are negative. To many men it is reality. I am a welder, though I wouldn’t say I’m the best person in the world, I try better every day. I have my hobbies and friends. I have tried dating for the past 6 years and it’s just not worth it to me anymore. All of these demands of what I should be and need to have is… ick. Some days are harder than others being single, but I choose to be myself and not of list of demands. Many men are the same way. Many men however choose to become that list just to be miserable.
I don't want to be that person but many women/ girls feels invisible. I feel that we give attention to people who are noisy but forget about the others that just want to live their lives.
Yep, grew up with a girl who was attracted to the bad boys. Back then I had a crush on her, but since I had a job and no rap sheet, she wanted nothing to do with me. She'd be all over anyone who came around with prison tats and a drinking problem, though. A decade later we ran into each other in a grocery store. I've worked solid my entire life, made good financial decisions, own my home, on track for retirement, profitable side biz, living very comfortably. She looked easily 15 years older than me even though we're similar age, had a body count that would need a calculator to keep track of, multiple kids by multiple guys, no skills, no career, middle 30's and still working minimum wage fast food jobs. She asked if we could hang out sometime, reconnect and see if it went anywhere? Hah! Wished her well, I'm very happy with my girlfriend, have a nice life. Bullet dodged.
I had a crush on a girl in 7th grade. In terms of personality, l was more modest. She couldn't wait to get old enough so she could smoke and drink beer and party, party, party, We dated in school for about 1 year then she sought interest in somebody else, so I drifted away from her. 2 years back I caught up with her on Facebook. I had already cleared 20 years of marriage with my current one and only wife. She was married to some dweeb, a mother of 2, and had the same dingy moralless PARTY, PARTY, PARTY, personality as she did back in 7th and 8th grade. In less than 6 months After seeing her useless, dingy, DITZY, mind-numbing posts, I came to think to myself, "Why am I even remotely following her?" "I have absolutely NOTHING in common with this Woman." So I unfollowed her posts. Life is grand with smart people.
The problem is that she’s saying for girls to go for the “hot nerd” only after being damaged by the “bad boy.” How about we teach women from a young age how to behave and make choices that will lead to them not being damaged and broken in the first place.
You can’t teach a woman how to behave. It’s ingrained in their DNA. Read about evolutionary biology. It’s their nature and the only thing guys can do is learn to play the game.
The term "hot nerd" is being tossed around carelessly and dishonestly. None of the descriptions by the TikTok girl describe a nerd. TikTok girl is talking about a hot guy who doesn't act like an a-hole, not a nerd. Keep in mind she's already admitted she gave her younger, hotter body to bad boys BEFORE she got with the "hot nerd." So he gets her later years. That judgement alone would disqualify her from my world. Hell no.
Facts. He's probably a good looking guy that has a high paying job and was never a douchebag or fvckboy - and probably didn't party a lot. But to her, a skank, that makes him a "nerd".
Cut through all the garbage, young women like the strongest and most aggressive men, when they have their kids they look for a more passive, nerdy type guy who can care for the other guys kids. Its straightforward. If you arent getting chosen by younger women, its because you arent that aggressive strong guy. Its simple. Mating between people is like a science, its so easy to see why females choose who they choose at different points in their life.
My brother is a former bad boy turned married dad and is a complete normie now. His wife is always calling him a "nerd" whenever he shows interest in anything other than her. Nerd has become a new term for women for any man that they are not head over heels for that they are still physically attracted to. Other men are still invisible to them.
Note: They should "marry" us - not date. The problem is that smart, successful, sweetheart guys don't want the club doorman's seconds. I'm not sure what's hard about that to understand.
Almost every gal I have seen in the last 30 years has either exclusively picked the "bad boy" or has quickly yeeted the average dude to later go for the "bad boy". I've watched coworkers, friends, and even family members follow the same pattern and get the same results
Most of the single mothers I've talked to have experienced abuse, I've never abused a woman, yet women choose to have children with dudes who are unhinged and violent yet these fathers are never just chill guys.
Agree. I think this video is all wishful thinking. Most chicks talk the talk about choosing the nice guy, but very few will stick to that guy if she thinks she is higher value, or Chad turns up and puts on the heat, she will either cheat, or put the nice guy in the spare room for being inadequate. Then the kids suffer.
There's nothing wrong with saying she's a queen. It's only wrong if you take advantage of it as a woman and you're mean about it to your man. By the way, he is also royalty in the relationship. They both are. He is a king. Her king. Nothing wrong with that.
@@adamalexander4883 she's literally stating in the video the different ways she values and appreciates, admires her husband. Duh... Not always true. Just because that's been your experience, that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with the statement.
This woman is most likely married a very attractive man with a high status job and slaps the label "nerd" on him, without proof, to get clicks on social media. She knows 80% of men are invisible, and she is giving a sizeable fraction of them an ego boost from an attractive woman to get herself validation. She does not care one bit about the men she is getting validation from as a social media succubus. I realize this is a very cynical take, but I don't believe the marketing hype from these type of women.
Very true I'm just curious about her description of a hot nerd being some of the top percent of earners what about the ones who aren't on that level or honestly anybody
@@danwarner7816 I'm aware, but thank you for the information. I'm curious where the women from the video Courtney reacted to met her husband. Probably not a hot nerds dating app.
The longest explanation of the fact that being handsome you can be whoever you want: a nerd, a jerk, a psycho - everything will be accepted and justified.
I would be classified as a nerd. The way women treated me in graduate school made it completely clear that I did not count. I was even told “You are not the type of guy women date, you are the type they marry.” I will not be the backup for women when they decide to settle after they are unable to get the guy they really want. I will not be the retirement plan. I did not go through a decade of constant and continual rejection to be the role of “backup plan”. When I was being a loser and studying they were out partying and having a good time. Absolutely not. This is a joke. It is not possible to trick men like me into thinking I am secretly an attractive person who doesn’t know it. This video made it clear; money can compensate if you are a lower tier man. This is nothing new.
Come on! It wasn't that bad. I had a good life as a nerd. I was the best at Math in my class. Every day, my classmates (mostly the girls ) were trying to intercept me on my way to school to get my notebook and copy the homework. Why learn L'Hospital's Rule when you can steal the whole homework? Everyday! I was also my classmates' "lawyer", always trying to reduce the punishments waiting for us; the teachers were actually very receptive to my arguments/suggestions.
@@MarkThomasPorter That's not even close to "being used". The Math teacher (who happened to be the school leader/director as well) regularly sent me to other classrooms to perform Math exercises for those students. If a teacher was missing or running late, all that time was used for Math training and I was the performer in front, at the board. What did I get in exchange? I got some sort of "soft power". I was never bullied. Neither did my close friends, no matter how weird they were.
Michael, if you are getting rejected constantly then you are going for the wrong type of woman. You don't want the chad-bate women anyhow. You need to find someone more in your league.
It's hard to convince people to not be outraged when they hear "hot nerd" because they want to believe she's talking about a guy who looks lile Henry Cavill. A guy who is a nerd can be attractive to women depending on who the woman is and what men she finds attractive, but I do find it funny that it takes a woman a TON of years to recognize that bad boys or assholes aren't good long-term partners 😂🤷
EXACTLY…I think all it really means is being YOUR best - with your resources, what you can do in productivity, appearance, dress and behavior, being yourself
I mean, on the one hand 99% of men can go to the gym and eat well and become at least relatively "hot". On the other hand why would I go for a woman that already got pumped and dumped by four dozen bad boys?
They SETTLE for the hot nerd because they can’t get the bad boy! But at the core of it they don’t respect the nerd and treat him badly and they always dream of the guy that got away! Total disrespect to the poor guy they married.
In the case of the tiktok woman in the video, she could absolutely find nearly any type of guy she wants. The reason she settled for the "nerd", was not lack of options.
@@dcarvalho6144 She could find any type of guy to sleep with. But the quality of women is not dependent on who she can sleep with, but who will commit to her.
Courtney I usually love the content you put out but this makes us feel like nerdy guys are a good consolation prize or backup plan rather than than someone to be genuinely loved and admired over.
A woman who marries a nerd in her prime (mid twenties) is one thing. But in most cases, the average woman goes for a nerd because she couldn’t land the chad-and is targeting the nerd when she’s 30 or older. Sadly, most Western women fall into the latter category.
This is brilliant: "But in most cases, the average woman goes for a nerd because she couldn’t land the chad-and is targeting the nerd when she’s 30 or older.
@@plife664 To be fair, I think some women depending on their past and present lifestyle choices can get a second wind in their 30s, but I think for the overwhelming majority these days the wall takes no prisoners
Here is my take on this. The women who pursue the bad boys, they are also low value, just like the bad boys. They should be overlooked, as they are not relationship material, end of story. Leave them on the carousel, and mind your own business. They belong to the streets, no matter how much they complain about the results of their decisions. Have some worth about yourselves, gentlemen, and quit settling for compromised scraps.
I was going to say, what does this woman bring to the table other than a (subjectively) pretty face? Does she have a career? Is she smart? Cultured? Don't settle for a "pretty" woman because she gives you attention. Find your life partner, your equal. She may claim to be wife you material but experience tells me she'll go back to the bad boy and only likes nerds as a "concept " for security and stability.
Exactly this. When you stop believing the red pill nonsense about objective scales of value, you have a lot less stress. "High value men" who can't keep it in their pants aren't high value. They are degenerates.
The problem with this whole “bad boy vs hot nerd” thing is you can’t negotiate attraction and genuine desire which is what she’s essentially trying to make a case for. Also a lot of woman today engage in trying to convert short term dating prospects into long term relationships/marriage. Which means that the men that women choose for short term are the men who they actually want and desire. Which generally isn’t the “hot nerd”. The “hot nerd” is the man she settles for when she’s finally tired of the “jerks with swag and rizz”. She’s making a case for the pragmatic choice. Which sounds good, but if the women doesn’t have that genuine desire all she’s doing is setting up “hot nerds” to end up broken by the women who take this advice. Women are better off dating who they want and if that’s always the jerk maybe get some therapy to help resolve whatever trauma that makes them attracted to such men. As opposed to trying to convince themselves that they should be attracted to “hot nerds”
eh? Hot nerds just need to up their game. The... crowd, of the hot nerds are just more passive and slower in their relationships. Bad Boys arent afraid to push things along fairly aggressively in the relationship. Go from 0 to bedroom in no time flat. Hot Nerds on the other hand are looking for something longer term, but are slower to create any sort of emotional connection. So women check out. Women can only wait for so long to hear whether you are interested in them. Make a move, or else they will find someone else. Some dudes just move at a glacial pace because they are too afraid of rejection. Dont want to say something because they are afraid the woman will just turn them down.
Look into the term "fisherian runaway", it explains precisely how female dating and aesthetic expectation has gotten out of control and has rendered all those women affected as a reproductively lost generation.
Every woman I've been on dates with are single moms from the "bad boys" and would get upset with me because I don't date single moms. By the way every single mom would admit to me on our dates that they would have rejected me when she was younger and before she had kids just because I'm short at 5'5. Suddanly after having 3-5 kids by taller men only now I'm tall enough for her just because I have resources to help raise taller mens kids and being feeling like they are just settling for me.
@@davidbowick7830 Women and other men have said I was a weak male for not stepping up to the plate to help single moms raise their kids. I think a stronger male would be content not raising other mens kids like a cuckold especially since I don't have kids of my own. Thats what actually cuckolds do. A Cuckold is a type of bird who will fly to a nest and kick the eggs out to the ground then put his eggs in the nest tricking another cockold bird to think the eggs are his. The guy that said I was a weak male for not dating single moms always complains about how her kids trash his house and he has no authority to say anything about it to them and now he has his own kid with her and all hes resources are going to another mans two kids and barely anything for his own kid lol.
I can appreciate what Courtney is trying to do. One major aspect has been left out, and the blonde hinted to it early in her vid….. money. She said “nerds are smart. They become Dr’s or engineers….” There in lies you answer, fellas. She didn’t marry a hot nerd. She married a hot wealthy guy who HAPPENS to be a nerd. I’m open to being wrong, but just looking at her, I don’t think I am. I’m almost 50 now. Young men, work on your wealth. Yes, your other good/nerd traits will be a cherry on top, but work on building your wealth. You’ll see.
That woman does not love the guy or find him at all attractive. She's just using him for money, and I guarantee you that she has some tatted-up loser she's fucking behind his back. If you have built any wealth, you're best off not letting women see it.
Rule number one: NEVER take advice about women from women Rule number two: NEVER listen to what a woman says, but pay attention to her actions. The truth is, when women say they wan't Nerdy guys, what they mean is Hot guy that can pull off the nerd look eg Henry Cavil. So to my fellow nerds, lets stick to self improvement, Warhammer 40K is on Friday and Pizza is on me.
Right you are, I’m a 8 how do I know this, I get indicators of interest &. Choosing signals all the time, I’ve met a few married original “hot women” who settled for the need got married and had kids, guess what they get bored of them and cheat, take someone on your level
Both of these women married nerds though... so they're not just talking they actually took action. A man *still* has to make something of himself, have a purpose, be at least somewhat in shape, enforce boundaries, be confident etc. to get an attractive woman. But he doesn't need to be a bad boy. He can be decent. That's the point of this video. Yes there are broken women, I'd agree the majority are broken and have high body counts before they settle down, and they are poor choices for LTRs, but there are women out there that don't make these mistakes. Be discerning and go for the latter. You have to search harder in the USA to find them than in certain other countries, but they are out there.
And the nerds who get bored with dominating a computer tech industry will have greater aspirations of destroying Nationalism, poisoning the masses with a eugenics program, and pushing for a central governance of the world. -Bill Gates.
Women are capable of going for a guy over some of the dumbest reasons you could ever imagine. For example, they can decide that they like a guy because they like the way his hands look. It is hard to believe you are dealing with adults when you hear stuff like this.
After our faces, our hands are the most expressive parts of us. More than "the way his hands look", women seem to be attracted to what his hands do, because they represent what the guy does most.
I think the hands thing is one of the things men have to bite the bullet on. It isn't dumb, it's just what a lot of women are attracted to. Kinda like men and bust size. And its something we can largely control (work out, don't be obese, keep your hands clean, healthy and manicured, etc). It's certainly less dumb than being attracted to a guy because he was born in the right month.
Did you notice how every reason to "marry the hot nerd" revolves around his money and what emotional support he can provide? Literally the only thing this video says is "Money is the only thing that matters in men".
Correct. Only nerds that make big $$$ are worthy. If you're a nerd that likes his 9-5, makes 80K a year and is content. You do not apply. You're a loser to women cuz you aren't trying to climb a pointless ladder to 500K. In 2423 how many people alive right now will be remembered? Just think of all the people you remember from 1623. Climb that ladder to get a woman that was ran through by Chad, Tryrone and Pookie.
why is it that they always say "marry the nerd" once they are approaching 30?? they never say that shit when they're 19. this is why I can't bring my self to want to get with someone who's approaching late 20's/ early 30's because i know i'm just being settled for
Yes...and that's the problem for women...lol They are always trying to change the qualities in a Man that made them attractive in the first place... And as a Man, your job is to resist changing the core fundamentals of your attractive qualities...It's the secret to a long lasting relationship.
Intelligent, maybe, kind (in this society) no, and loyal? Why? Women who have blown themselves out and sold themselves out with a high body count are worthless to a man of value and, they don't get this and still insist on something that cannot exist in modern society.
Jerry: _"Interesting. She doesn't care for you, then a stern warning, suddenly a phone call. Seems Elaine's made you the bad boy, and Anna digs the bad boy."_ George: _"I'm the bad boy. I've never been the bad boy."_ Jerry: _"You've been the bad employee, the bad son, the bad friend..."_ George: _"Yes, yes..."_ Jerry: _"...the bad fiance, the bad dinner guest, the bad credit risk..."_ George: _"Okay, the point is made."_ Jerry: _"...the bad date, the bad sport, the bad citizen...the bad tipper!"_
I want nothing to do with women who were at any point attracted to ‘bad boys’. That’s what she likely will always be attracted to. When she is old enough she then realises that it is screwing up her life, and she wants someone better, but that doesn’t mean she is attracted to someone better. There are rare circumstances where I might think about it, but extremely unlikely. I too have brushed against these types of people, and what little influence they had over my life was already bad enough. I’m not keen on any more.
Yep. Guys who accept the woman who has hit the wall thinking "she finally sees me" are in for a rude awakening when they realize she's fighting the urge every day to cheat or leave for those "bad boys" who rev her engine without trying. Masculine traits (bad boy) like dominance, cockiness (called confidence), and even dark triad traits make her instinctively feel like you have the potential to be dangerous. This was important evolutionarily speaking when a man might have to fight off lions and tigers and bears. These inspire lust and it's not a conscious thing she can control. Good guy traits like being a provider, honesty, integrity, emotionally stable, etc trigger her conscious desires, which obviously are important for a long term relationship. But this is not the same thing as lust. Ideally, you need to work on both sides as a guy. Otherwise, she will love you deeply (conscious, personal commitment to good guy) and still cheat on you or leave for the guy who turns up her oven in a moment of weakness, or thinking some bad boy could change and be both. The subconscious is often stronger than the conscious, and it's certainly more persistent. The subconscious works on you all of the time and requires actively controlling it to resist, where the conscious often requires active control to maintain. *I prefer the word "cockiness" over confidence because of the external projection. You can be the most confident guy in the world, but if you're quiet, shy, reserved, humble, etc, she won't SEE YOU that way. There has to be external presentation of that confidence, which is typically cockiness, for her to put that as one of the top 5 characteristics she associates with you before you are already in the friend zone. If you're not peacocking your confidence, it may as well not exist to her until it's too late.
@@sifumode9460 The subconscious is stronger than the conscious in weak minded people. I'm not interested in weak minded women, precisely for some of the reasons that you listed. If she can't even trust herself to do the right thing, how can I?
A nerd with life goals beats the bad-boy every day, but not if you friend-zone the nerd and expect them to still be there when you’re done with your bad-boy party phase…
As for the vanilla part, nerds have the same desires to add spice they may just need help exploring them.
The translation of hot nerd = attractive professional. Hardly a newsflash that these guys are in high demand. Don't settle for the recovering bar-skanks lads.
I love the part where you point out that you should want your kids to turn out like a bunch of mini versions of your significant other. I can honestly say that (in the reverse) I'm currently actively working to make sure my kids DON'T turn out like my ex-wife.
Unfortunately, not all nerds are great people. Some are poorly socially adjusted. Being a nerd among nerds, there's definitely people who react badly to the slightest opposition or hardship. Even I find myself responding unconstructively in certain situations, and it's a component to why I'm a nerd. That being said, many of the advantages she covers are valid but are secondary to what makes a good partner. Having a good career is great, but it's more about making life easier than making a relationship good. Eg: a strong career can mean he's not there often. Honesty, integrity, discipline, courage, compassion, temperance, drive... these are the masculine first order qualities you should want him fostering, because with them everything else gets better. Nerds are definitely encouraged in many of these qualities, but often not all. A more balanced life is a good thing.
One of my favourite type of videos is when you react to videos like these and give your thoughts, whether it’s the good or bad. Keep up the good work :)
At 21, i looked 12. At 35, I was a chick magnet, still am at 70. But I listened to what my mother told me. Women will show you what and who they are. wait and watch. Spot on mom. My mate found me. :)
Men...don't let anyone fool you, despite being an overall great guy ( in this case a nerd), if you don't meet women's physical preferences (height and looks) you will remain invisible. Very sad to say, but very true.
As a nerd, I have no interest in Chad and Tyrone's leftovers. Either I am your first and best pick or nothing. Cause I ain't gonna be with someone who's going to be constantly thinking about her bad boy-exs and how they gave her the feelie feelz, the tingly tinglez, and rollercoaster excitement. If you don't have the discernment to pick the right man for yourself, you probably shouldn't be picking men and leave it up to your parents like it's been for thousands of years.
Every girl is someone's leftovers. Even Courtney has a notch-count. I refuse to believe she's sitting at "1." I like to think her number is reasonable, but I digress, and I hear what you're saying. The first sign that you're being treated as 2nd best, she should be out the door.
@@andyfranks1575 No obviously not everyone is, just very hard to find "0" these days. About Courtney I believe she has mentioned this previously, as far as I remember she said that she had been in a couple of relationships before her current one and both had cheated on her. Honestly it made me wonder what kind of guys they were...
100% agree that people who are single and don't want to be aren't choosing the correct partners. This includes me. Personally I know that I'm eliminating 80% of my available dating pool by not wanting children. This leaves like 11 people in my area/age range and we all think we're too good for each other apparently 😅
By the time the women realize this its too late and you setup yourself as a man for failed relationship. Her bad habits wont go away and it will be a headache to be with her, and thats if she doesnt already have a kid or 2 by the bad guys that you will have to deal with the ex father your entire relationship. Its just a bad experience, avoid these kind of girls if possible
The issue I have with the tiktok video & its logic is it all comes back to how it benefits the women. Feels almost like a husband for hire situation, while at the end of the day she’d still actually prefer the “bad boy”.
What I take from this video is that no matter what type of guy your are, you can work hard to make yourself better and more attractive. Girls want guy who is at their "best". So to my guys out there, grab a girl who is at their "best" and not at her decline.
Hi Courtney, I found your channel not too long ago and I’ve been enjoying your content. It’s so refreshing to see that there are good women out there with their head on their shoulders. Unfortunately we are surrounded by sources that teach men and women to act in an infant like and toxic manner. Thank you for being a good female role model.
As long as he is hot then it's all OK and women are interested, but when they even say the word nerd, really they just mean a hot guy that adopts some nerd characteristics
"Ladies we need to stop going after the "bad boys". We need to pay more attention to hot doctors. Those nerdy guys who are frequently over looked." Brilliant observation *Citizen Kane slow clap*
Over the years I've watched various women in my circle fall for the bad boy. All of those relationships turned out badly and all of those bad boys are still working at the record store, bouncing at a night club or working as a semi employed musician now that they're in their 40s.
I would add that it is important for families and societies to put pressure on people to exhibit the qualities that will make a difference in building a relationship, family, and home.
Former black-pill incel here. Now In a relationship of nearly 2 years and saving for a ring. There ARE good women out there. There IS hope. Life IS worth living. Love from America 🇺🇸
@@Madchris8828 what helped me a lot is understanding I can have standards as well just like women do. However, I learn from their mistakes of not having my standards be absurd. The standards I do have, I make sure to be absolute about them, as if I’m a yellow eyed sith. By doing so I’m more able to find and foster a budding relationship with the 0.1% of women that would say yes to me.
I listened to this one psychologist a while back that helped me frame this frustration I have had for a while in a very understandable way. His presentation was on why you won't find love. In his work he noted that a significant portion of the population are confusing comfort with pleasure/affection/attraction. However the key is that most people have unresolved trauma that the confort they seek is toxic. It is a bit in line with the idea that no one will love you until you love you - but it fine tunes this a bit more to highlight the reason for this is you will always seek the wrong traits/characteristics/people. People who seek toxic people (e.g., bad boys) are unhealthy people that have no dealt with their issues/traumas. I think that is part of why people may have stop listening once she said "hot nerd" because she's coming off as someone who is jumping from one fetishized movie character to another (bad boy to hot nerd) and is not actually looking for a stable, mature person. It's the female version of She's All That except in this case the hot guy puts on a pair of glasses and magically becomes a hot nerd.
Forget about them calling these guys "nerds" they are HOT (genetically) and/or RICH. Period. Find women who have the same hobbies and interests as you, work within that space. Also, avoid girls who wear hats.
I really love this video for so many reasons. You offer a *balanced* PoV and you do not glorify one side over another. For example, your comments regarding "being a nerd does not give you free reign to simply sit in your closet and play video games all day long. That is not attractive." Ugh. "It is about being a dependable partner, ..." I am glad that you boiled it down to the essence of what females are looking for in a partner. And yes, I have work that I have to do; I have to shape up and improve myself. Thanks, as always! Please keep up with these valuable and awesome videos!
A psychologist once told me that there are two kinds of relationships. The first is short term recreational, and the second is long-term committed. You’re not gonna get the second one from a bad boy.
I think even if you’re a nerd, if women aren’t expressing the genuine desire like you’d see in a short-term recreational relationship, it’s better to just stay single.
@@FakeAndTrolled Short term, recreational relationships. are primarily meant to just have sex for as long as the two can stand each other. There is no commitment it’s just for fun. Friends with benefits.
Great content Courtney. You're doing a lot of good for people by encouraging them to date for good purposes. This will absolutely help plenty of folks who haven't heard this kind of wisdom. Cheers.
I just had this convo with a woman on the 1st date. Im different than what she usually dated. older, successful. She cancelled our 3rd date to date someone else. I assume she went back to her normal patterns.
From my own personal experience, nerds can also be sociopaths. I was living with my ex-boyfriend before, he was a senior software engineer in a company, and in the beginning, everything was going well between us. Until, he had shown signs that he can be aggressive. I didn’t leave and stayed with him until it only got worse. I filed a case against him and that’s how we broke up.
Always felt that girls who go after "bad boys" was equivalent to guys going after the "hot" girl who is good looking, great body, makeup, hair, etc. who is also nasty and mean. The plain girls who are nice are the "yin" to the "yang" of guys who are nerds. Guys will often ignore the plain girl who is sweet, supportive and smart. Often those girls come into their own in their late 20's and become the attractive ones. Things have a way of evening out over time.
I would never suggest to go after someone who you don’t find attractive at all, but don’t ignore someone who has the same values as you who is sweet, loving, who gives you peace, and who is genuinely into you and you are attracted to under the idea that you can somehow do better. But yeah just like men there are also women who are late bloomers. I think it starts to change when people leave high school, start working and buying their own clothes (and makeup in the case of girls), etc. When I was in high school I didn’t have a job so I just wore the clothes my parents bought me and that didn’t go over all that well.
You hit it on the head, Courtney. People need to date with more intention instead of surface attraction. However, getting people (young women) to see that is the magic trick no one has been able to pull off. Thanks for another great video. I appreciate your feminine and graceful takes on things.
You did choose wisely, Courtney! You got a keeper and I so admire his love and knowledge for timepieces...If his love and admiration for his hobby is half of what he has for you, you're Golden, Girl!
Usually when a guy has his glow up and become an fboy its not because he started getting female attention out of nowhere. His glow up is usually caused by a woman breaking his heart. This then leads to him engaging in self improvement. Then as he starts to look and act the part, to some degree, of a chad then women start giving him attention. This is when the fboy happens. No man is born a player. They are created by women viscously ripping a man's heart out.
It's not about being the bad boy. It's about being the honorable and integrous man and letting our partner decide for herself. Also, my crush? It was her personality and laugh that drew me to her.
Dear Courtney, Happy Holidays to you as well!!! You're very sweet & honest. I appreciate you & your channel very much. P.S. I agree with the guys that suggested you comment throughout the video & pause when needed. It helps to hear your 2 cents in real time & makes your videos even better. Regards, Matt
So... she's basically saying to stop looking for very hot dumb, broke, cocky, unfaithful bad men and to start looking for a very hot, succesful, smart man who loves and respects you... duh, is it supposed to be a "hot take?" 😅
I see a lot of comments from men saying that they’ve been told they aren’t “the type women date, but the type they marry.” But at the same time, they’re not willing to be the backup plan after women are done clubbing and want something serious… Uh, then don’t go for the clubbing girls??? The same logic can be applied here. Women who want something serious shouldn’t date the bad boys and men who want to be taken seriously from the start shouldn’t date a clubbing woman. It goes both ways. No one talks about how shy, nerdier, less-conventionally-attractive girls also get the short end of the stick when we’re younger, and I talk from experience here. Thankfully, I’m a nerd who’s engaged to another nerd and blissfully happy in our future together. There IS someone out there for you, you just need to adjust your dating pool.
As a nerd I’ve been patiently waiting for women to figure out that the “bad boy” is not the best choice for long term relationships. Thank you Mrs. Courtney Ryan!
Courtney, you're fantastic, genuine, and informative. I really appreciate your content as it applies to both men and women equally. This coming from a bad boy in my teens and twenties turned humbled, empath after my son was born. I'm recently divorced, but your last points about choosing are spot on. Keep up the great content.
the issue with women not wanting nice guys / nerds is because most of the time those guys dont pursue manly things. the biggest one is probably working out. it is NOT a lot of time. its 4 hours a week, 1 hour in the gym 4 times a week. you have 176 hours in a week and you cant dedicate 4 of them to making EVERY aspect of your life better? and yes, its been proven that even gamers increase their gamer skills after working out since you developed better mind-muscle connections and also your body can just react to things better.
Don’t listen to any of this lads. I’ve been there, it will not work for you. She wants to marry a “hot nerd” after a dozen bad boys have a go. We’ve all heard this story before: a woman “finally realises” that nice guys are the way to go after she feels like she had enough fun. In blunt terms, she’s looking for someone who will provide for her. At the end of the day, you will be paying for something a bunch of other dudes got for free. You can’t afford to let yourself get scammed, not in this economy. I’ll most likely get a bunch of hate for this, because even the women who say this don’t realise that they’ve just rationalised this behaviour under the guise of “I’ve grown” or “I’ve matured”, but whatever. Don’t be fooled, what you should be focusing on is your career and your appearance. I’ve worked on myself for 2 years and I’m now a regional manager and I get frequent attention from women, which I ignore because I’m not done yet. Never settle for being anyone’s plan B. P.S. whips and chains are the way to go, women love that stuff.
Honestly the best i can give to nerdy guy is to always be yourself with a little bit of bad boy trairs to give you strong vibe and also having options instead of simping and relying on one girl
Im a good person with good values. I just dont have any interest in making money or being super interesting or all that bullshit. I want a quiet life. I want just enough money to pay my bills and enjoy my hobbies. Im not ambitious and i will not be going to the gym any days of the week. My issue with women saying as we get older we realize that smart is better than swag. ... ya by that time you have let a dozen men inside you. Ive been with 2 women. I would never ever be with a woman who has been with significantly more women than me. Gross.
@@anticarnistvegan i just want someone who is like me and didnt sleep around. Whats wrong with wanting someone on my own level? How is that bigoted. I dont think you know what that word means.
What TikTok Barbie is actually saying is that's it's O.K. to "settle" for a phyically attractive nerd because they'll probably have money, and have lower levels of self confidence and self esteem so they won't want to acknowledge you're just using them and are less likely to decide they dessrve better than however you want to treat them, or be cheating on you. They're just an easier simp to leech off and you won't have to give a lot in return because they'll convince themselves they're lucky to even have a chance with you. She's still shopping in the top 10% store, but in the D&D aisle.
Thanks for the upload Courtney, just wanted to add that regardless of what a man's physical appearance is, the majority of his drive/ambition for financial stabilty is always overlooked by good looking women. For anyone reading this comment, if you find yourself working towards an independent venture for the overall benefit of your well being... Continue to do so! good looking women will always be available. All the best! Cheers
I don't think we know what the definition of nerd is anymore. The biggest key to nerdiness is *ENTHUSIASM* not smarts (book or otherwise). Courtney describes geeks more than nerds (of course they are not mutually exclusive) but one of the things that's great about nerds is if they are passionate about you and the relationship, true nerds are always all in. Great positive video though.
It's not so much the fact she mentioned attraction when talking about nerds, it's the fact she said "hot", and not "reasonably attractive" or "fairly good looking". Also, just because she didn't mention looks does not mean she didn't mean looks when saying "hot". Also, small correction: Intelligence is attractive to other intelligent people. People who are not that smart might actually get confused by intelligence (or mistake you for a dumb person) to her success point: she's right, but success doesn't come over night. I doubt men would want to start dating at 30, when the girls already had their fun with the bad boys.
I tend to think women mistake narcissism for confidence and swoon over abusive men. I guess it's hard to be logical when you're fighting against your own biology.
Very solid point about what happens to late bloomers. Same thing happens to lottery winners and other people that receive a lot of something they never had without much work. It can absolutely go both ways.
My sister has admittedly pursued the bad boy type her whole life and it has left her with physical and emotional abuse, heart brake, divorce and a close call with a frequently institutionalized schizophrenic psychopath.
Agreed. Both men and women need to date based on long-term vision and compatibility vs quick dopamine hits if they want the right partner. Organically doing that would help most find someone they can build with for life.
Thank you, Courtney. As a man, the message I get from her is she's excited about who her man IS. Not some reprocessed version on social media and romance novels.
It is good to see women talking honestly regarding the type of men which are most valuable: in turn a man valuable to a woman will make his woman also valuable to him. dating for a relationship with good lifetime prospects makes most sense. Dating Chads & Tyrones is like throwing your money away at a casino; sometimes you might win a little, but will usually end up penniless in the end.
I usually really like Courtney's content, but this one I LOVED. She explains it perfectly, and honestly, her points are accurate. You can be a nerdy guy but you should make an effort to balance it out. I fall asleep to Star Trek every night...after I worked out and had a healthy dinner. I play competitive foosball (it's a thing, believe me), but I don't just play at the bar, I am always practicing to go to large out of state tournaments because it's a passion of mine. I dabble in fine arts (watercolor painting, charcoal drawing) because it's a nice break from my operations management job that pays me decently. This Tiktok and Courtney's assessment is spot on. Now, if I could only grow a few inches and not be 5 foot 4, well, that would be awesome.
What we see in this video, is not a comparison between a bad boy and a nerd. It's about a woman that chose a guy with most of the traits women look for (tall, well dressing, successful/wealthy, in shape and good looking enough), that happened to be on the nerdy side. If you keep the guy exactly as he is, and just interchange nerdy for bad boy, she would most likely still be attracted to him. Meanwhile, keep everything the same, but make him short, and she would probably not give him a chance. It would depend on what she values the most, but one thing is for sure, the nerdy part, is not what she values there.
11 :00 good points - along with attraction, do morals align, what will we contribute to the world are good questions to ask to create better families. & good point past all the hype staying grounded , not everyone may match a nerd but stay smart.
I absolutely loathe that there are women who classify guys into things like “bad boy” and “nerd”, and basing their dating preferences off of what I see as total bullshit. Basically what she ultimately described was varying levels of intelligence, with “bad boys” just being shallow and stupid characters and “hot nerds” being smart, mature and resourceful. That’s basically it. Both can be fit and good looking. Both can be charismatic and charming. Both can be protective and masculine etc etc.
I would say I’m a nerd who, when puts in the work, is of above-average physical attractiveness; but then acts sort of like a f-boy, which ends up either attracting the wrong type of woman who is disappointed that I’m not actually a f-boy, or only attracts the right type of woman short-term; meaning it never pans out into a healthy relationship because I haven’t quite developed the “hot nerd” depth that she’s referring to. I absolutely blame all the social-media and the internet dating-app culture.
I met my “hot nerd” guy at anime convention. He was also working in IT. We were part of the same friend group, but he stood out for me, because of how thoughtful and kind he was, but totally blind to female attention. Some might consider that a downside, but that meant I had to be the one to make the fist move. And God it paid off. He was the most greatest guy I’ve ever dated and needless to say we are happily married now. We still play games and watch anime all the time, so our interests are very similar, but I would imagine you would want that in your marriage anyway, no matter the “type” of a guy you are going for.
Watching this with my wife she claimed I was / am that "nerd" . I have been accused of that many times . She too dated the "Bad Boy Cowboy" before we met . Got burned , she decided she date the "the nerd " . How did that work out ? 4 children , 12 grandchildren and 43 years of marriage later I guess the facts speak for themselves. Good video for us underdogs Courtney , keep up the good work, thanks !!
To all nerds/nice dudes out there: Don't settle for the girl who originally went for the bad boy. Have some pride in yourself.
Exactly why I got my heart broken a few years ago that turned my life upside down. I’m not taking her back
Very true 😂 women love the bad boys and settle for the nerds only to go back to the bad boys
She’s not yours it was your turn
So you're implying no one can change? You've been perfect all your life and never realized you made mistakes when you were younger, so no one should ever give you another opportunity, right?
@@Swearengen1980they can change their thinking but she’s ultimately still going to find those men more attractive and she’s essentially settling for you.
shes guaranteed to come with emotional baggage too
Hilarious, this all boils down to
"Had my fun, now I want the nerd who worked on himself and became hot"
Are women really this unaware? Good god its cringe
its called being entitled
💯 they think they can eat their cake, icing on top, and still have the whole cake untouched.
It’s not genuine at all. Nobody wants to be a last resort. Life is too short to be playing games.
yes, they absolutely are this unaware. when you are driven and motivated by emotions, you are simply unaware of what is actually true and not emotionally true for you.
Grow tf up bro. You ain't better sticking your junk raw into every inanimate hole you can find. You probably picked up tentanis along the way and who knows what else.
Because "being given a chance" by women who broke themselves trying to date sociopaths and narcissists is super attractive, fun and flattering.
I hate to say it but I agree with this sentiment and have seen this in dating as well. I have been on countless dates with single moms who dated shitty dudes, had a couple of kids and now in their late 20s early 30s want someone with a dental plan and health insurance to take care of them. As a dude who has had a career since 21 and is a widow, fuck no. I do not exist to be your rebound because you dated a string of emotionally unavailable men, some of whom you had offspring with. Hard fucking pass.
@@Saltpork305hahaha right.
Seeing this currently in many places.
Hot younger girls getting knocked up so fast only for them to be single mothers later.
No ones using their brains.
“Hello police? I just witnessed a murder!”😂😂😂
@@Saltpork305So well said and so truthful. I hope more guys take on this view.
As a wise man once said "Don't come crying to me once the bad boys don't feel so good anymore."
One big problem is that women go for the Bad Boys when they're under 35, then (once they've had their wild times) they want to find a nerd who has been successful and settle down. She's spent 15-20 years partying with "hot Chad" and gets upset that when she wants to settle down with the "kind, successful, smart" nerd she rejected (who is now wealthy) but find that he is looking to date younger women with lower body counts ... and she blames "men" for the situation she created.
this is a revenge fantasy that doesn't bear out in reality. men are remaining single longer and in far greater numbers than women.
Smart men don't get married.
Or she simply blames “toxic masculinity” because she can’t accept the truth.
A guy can be a bad boy and a nerd. My ex told me I was a mix of both and that's why girls gravitate toward me. I am a nerdy guy I love to read, I love art and make decent money in the music scene where I live but I was also in the military for nine years and I treat everyone like shit because I have bad untreated PTSD and mental issues lol. I can't help it either I guess I'm just destined to be an asshole.
Nail meet hammer!
I’m in IT. I am not a bad looking guy. I’m fairly attractive. I have a ton of hobbies. I’m learning a second language. I’m a good guy, but you know what? I feel invisible. That being said, I refuse to give up.
Same rap with the exception of learning a 2nd language. I'd say i'm a good 7 and invisible.
Good for you for not succumbing to the negativity and bitterness that usually fills these comments.
Systems Engineer here and on the same boat. I'm at the point where I'm just going where I go and if I hopefully find someone, great... if not, oh well.
@@Swearengen1980I can see why you say the comments are negative. To many men it is reality. I am a welder, though I wouldn’t say I’m the best person in the world, I try better every day.
I have my hobbies and friends. I have tried dating for the past 6 years and it’s just not worth it to me anymore. All of these demands of what I should be and need to have is… ick.
Some days are harder than others being single, but I choose to be myself and not of list of demands. Many men are the same way.
Many men however choose to become that list just to be miserable.
I don't want to be that person but many women/ girls feels invisible. I feel that we give attention to people who are noisy but forget about the others that just want to live their lives.
Yep, grew up with a girl who was attracted to the bad boys. Back then I had a crush on her, but since I had a job and no rap sheet, she wanted nothing to do with me. She'd be all over anyone who came around with prison tats and a drinking problem, though. A decade later we ran into each other in a grocery store. I've worked solid my entire life, made good financial decisions, own my home, on track for retirement, profitable side biz, living very comfortably. She looked easily 15 years older than me even though we're similar age, had a body count that would need a calculator to keep track of, multiple kids by multiple guys, no skills, no career, middle 30's and still working minimum wage fast food jobs. She asked if we could hang out sometime, reconnect and see if it went anywhere? Hah! Wished her well, I'm very happy with my girlfriend, have a nice life. Bullet dodged.
You dropped this
👑
I had a crush on a girl in 7th grade. In terms of personality, l was more modest. She couldn't wait to get old enough so she could smoke and drink beer and party, party, party, We dated in school for about 1 year then she sought interest in somebody else, so I drifted away from her.
2 years back I caught up with her on Facebook. I had already cleared 20 years of marriage with my current one and only wife.
She was married to some dweeb, a mother of 2, and had the same dingy moralless PARTY, PARTY, PARTY, personality as she did back in 7th and 8th grade.
In less than 6 months After seeing her useless, dingy, DITZY, mind-numbing posts, I came to think to myself,
"Why am I even remotely following her?"
"I have absolutely NOTHING in common with this Woman."
So I unfollowed her posts. Life is grand with smart people.
@@IamjustBruh FR!!!
Get to the gym and get in peak physical shape.
Try learning a combat sport.
@@Kthomasritchie i want to pick up BJJ this coming year! Heard its a really good martial art sport
The problem is that she’s saying for girls to go for the “hot nerd” only after being damaged by the “bad boy.” How about we teach women from a young age how to behave and make choices that will lead to them not being damaged and broken in the first place.
First explain that Beauty and the Beast is a fable, not a life strategy.
That rarely works. Back in the days they had system to address this issue called arranged marriage.
You can’t teach a woman how to behave. It’s ingrained in their DNA. Read about evolutionary biology. It’s their nature and the only thing guys can do is learn to play the game.
This is the biggest question. Others pale.
@@gwall1789Actually you can, find a woman who has been in church her whole life and lives it for real.
The term "hot nerd" is being tossed around carelessly and dishonestly. None of the descriptions by the TikTok girl describe a nerd. TikTok girl is talking about a hot guy who doesn't act like an a-hole, not a nerd. Keep in mind she's already admitted she gave her younger, hotter body to bad boys BEFORE she got with the "hot nerd." So he gets her later years. That judgement alone would disqualify her from my world. Hell no.
Body positivity is only for women, even if you are a nerd you still have to have a 6 pack 6 ft tall 6 racks on the first date.
she totally gave a description. doctors & engineers. think money. she obviously does.
Facts. He's probably a good looking guy that has a high paying job and was never a douchebag or fvckboy - and probably didn't party a lot. But to her, a skank, that makes him a "nerd".
Cut through all the garbage, young women like the strongest and most aggressive men, when they have their kids they look for a more passive, nerdy type guy who can care for the other guys kids. Its straightforward. If you arent getting chosen by younger women, its because you arent that aggressive strong guy. Its simple. Mating between people is like a science, its so easy to see why females choose who they choose at different points in their life.
My brother is a former bad boy turned married dad and is a complete normie now. His wife is always calling him a "nerd" whenever he shows interest in anything other than her. Nerd has become a new term for women for any man that they are not head over heels for that they are still physically attracted to. Other men are still invisible to them.
Note: They should "marry" us - not date.
The problem is that smart, successful, sweetheart guys don't want the club doorman's seconds.
I'm not sure what's hard about that to understand.
No, those guys take what they can get. Many end up single and alone and not being able to get any woman they are interested in.
@@rascal211 We said the same thing.
"She's not still a queen? after been run through ?"
It doesn't matter she'll still find men who want her if she's attractive. @@onehtereproppper3697
Easy. YOu're going for shallow women who go to clubs. Do something else and you'll meet better women. Women are attracted to men who do things.
Almost every gal I have seen in the last 30 years has either exclusively picked the "bad boy" or has quickly yeeted the average dude to later go for the "bad boy". I've watched coworkers, friends, and even family members follow the same pattern and get the same results
Most of the single mothers I've talked to have experienced abuse, I've never abused a woman, yet women choose to have children with dudes who are unhinged and violent yet these fathers are never just chill guys.
Alpha gets her first, beta gets her second, beta takes what he can get because he is beta, alpha mates then leaves, real simple!
@kevinleewilliams5119 I think more and more "betas" are becoming red/black pilled so they aren't even taking left over women anymore.
Bad boys are seen as more masculine, just the facts.
Agree. I think this video is all wishful thinking. Most chicks talk the talk about choosing the nice guy, but very few will stick to that guy if she thinks she is higher value, or Chad turns up and puts on the heat, she will either cheat, or put the nice guy in the spare room for being inadequate. Then the kids suffer.
When she said “he will treat you like the queen you are,” that tells me everything I need to know about her.
There's nothing wrong with saying she's a queen. It's only wrong if you take advantage of it as a woman and you're mean about it to your man. By the way, he is also royalty in the relationship. They both are. He is a king. Her king. Nothing wrong with that.
@@memesita795 In my experience and observation, a woman that refers to herself as a queen rarely treats her husband like a king; more like a serf.
@@adamalexander4883 she's literally stating in the video the different ways she values and appreciates, admires her husband. Duh... Not always true. Just because that's been your experience, that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with the statement.
"Queen". Cringe!
She said Goddess which just rubbed me the wrong way. Anybody that has a God complex whether man or woman needs some serious self-assessment.
This woman is most likely married a very attractive man with a high status job and slaps the label "nerd" on him, without proof, to get clicks on social media. She knows 80% of men are invisible, and she is giving a sizeable fraction of them an ego boost from an attractive woman to get herself validation. She does not care one bit about the men she is getting validation from as a social media succubus.
I realize this is a very cynical take, but I don't believe the marketing hype from these type of women.
Very true I'm just curious about her description of a hot nerd being some of the top percent of earners what about the ones who aren't on that level or honestly anybody
Just let you know courtney met her husband off tinder btw 😂
@@danwarner7816 I'm aware, but thank you for the information.
I'm curious where the women from the video Courtney reacted to met her husband. Probably not a hot nerds dating app.
You talking about the woman on TikTok or Courtney?
@@Semaj2326 Tik Tok woman. I have no problem with Courtney. Sorry if that was unclear.
The longest explanation of the fact that being handsome you can be whoever you want: a nerd, a jerk, a psycho - everything will be accepted and justified.
Literally the same concept applies to women; men will let anything slide if she’s hot enough. It’s universal regardless of gender.
I would be classified as a nerd. The way women treated me in graduate school made it completely clear that I did not count. I was even told “You are not the type of guy women date, you are the type they marry.” I will not be the backup for women when they decide to settle after they are unable to get the guy they really want. I will not be the retirement plan. I did not go through a decade of constant and continual rejection to be the role of “backup plan”. When I was being a loser and studying they were out partying and having a good time. Absolutely not. This is a joke. It is not possible to trick men like me into thinking I am secretly an attractive person who doesn’t know it. This video made it clear; money can compensate if you are a lower tier man. This is nothing new.
Come on! It wasn't that bad. I had a good life as a nerd. I was the best at Math in my class. Every day, my classmates (mostly the girls ) were trying to intercept me on my way to school to get my notebook and copy the homework.
Why learn L'Hospital's Rule when you can steal the whole homework? Everyday!
I was also my classmates' "lawyer", always trying to reduce the punishments waiting for us; the teachers were actually very receptive to my arguments/suggestions.
Gold digging is alive and well.
@@victorcretu7741 how is this not being used for something else before you become financially viable? I'm not seeing the sarcasm I'm expecting here 😆
@@MarkThomasPorter That's not even close to "being used". The Math teacher (who happened to be the school leader/director as well) regularly sent me to other classrooms to perform Math exercises for those students. If a teacher was missing or running late, all that time was used for Math training and I was the performer in front, at the board. What did I get in exchange? I got some sort of "soft power".
I was never bullied. Neither did my close friends, no matter how weird they were.
Michael, if you are getting rejected constantly then you are going for the wrong type of woman. You don't want the chad-bate women anyhow. You need to find someone more in your league.
It's hard to convince people to not be outraged when they hear "hot nerd" because they want to believe she's talking about a guy who looks lile Henry Cavill. A guy who is a nerd can be attractive to women depending on who the woman is and what men she finds attractive, but I do find it funny that it takes a woman a TON of years to recognize that bad boys or assholes aren't good long-term partners 😂🤷
Facts first thing I heard the key word HOT NERD already knew sigh
EXACTLY…I think all it really means is being YOUR best - with your resources, what you can do in productivity, appearance, dress and behavior, being yourself
I mean, on the one hand 99% of men can go to the gym and eat well and become at least relatively "hot". On the other hand why would I go for a woman that already got pumped and dumped by four dozen bad boys?
Amin, bro!
I love this video. I feel more comfortable embracing my geekiness.
They SETTLE for the hot nerd because they can’t get the bad boy! But at the core of it they don’t respect the nerd and treat him badly and they always dream of the guy that got away! Total disrespect to the poor guy they married.
In the case of the tiktok woman in the video, she could absolutely find nearly any type of guy she wants. The reason she settled for the "nerd", was not lack of options.
@@dcarvalho6144well she might have a lack of relationship options. Yes, guys will easily sleep with her.
@@dcarvalho6144 he could absolutely find nearly any type of guy she wants.'''to have sex wuth yeah
Yeah they cheat on them then collect the engineering child support
@@dcarvalho6144 She could find any type of guy to sleep with. But the quality of women is not dependent on who she can sleep with, but who will commit to her.
Courtney I usually love the content you put out but this makes us feel like nerdy guys are a good consolation prize or backup plan rather than than someone to be genuinely loved and admired over.
They are not the desired men. Just the facts. They are seen as lacking in masculinity.
Dude, that's the opposite of what she's saying. Listen, my friend.
A woman who marries a nerd in her prime (mid twenties) is one thing. But in most cases, the average woman goes for a nerd because she couldn’t land the chad-and is targeting the nerd when she’s 30 or older. Sadly, most Western women fall into the latter category.
It is very rare for someone to have high intelligence and super strength. At the end of the day it comes down to who can pay the bills lol.
This is brilliant: "But in most cases, the average woman goes for a nerd because she couldn’t land the chad-and is targeting the nerd when she’s 30 or older.
Ya’ll really gotta stop thinking that once you become 30, you become old. Early 30’s is still your prime. Even for women.
@@plife664 "Even for women". LOL, no.
@@plife664 To be fair, I think some women depending on their past and present lifestyle choices can get a second wind in their 30s, but I think for the overwhelming majority these days the wall takes no prisoners
Here is my take on this. The women who pursue the bad boys, they are also low value, just like the bad boys. They should be overlooked, as they are not relationship material, end of story. Leave them on the carousel, and mind your own business. They belong to the streets, no matter how much they complain about the results of their decisions. Have some worth about yourselves, gentlemen, and quit settling for compromised scraps.
true, stupid or shallow people (men and women) will always wreck your life for some dumb shit
Thank you !
Well said!!
I was going to say, what does this woman bring to the table other than a (subjectively) pretty face? Does she have a career? Is she smart? Cultured?
Don't settle for a "pretty" woman because she gives you attention. Find your life partner, your equal. She may claim to be wife you material but experience tells me she'll go back to the bad boy and only likes nerds as a "concept " for security and stability.
Exactly this. When you stop believing the red pill nonsense about objective scales of value, you have a lot less stress. "High value men" who can't keep it in their pants aren't high value. They are degenerates.
The problem with this whole “bad boy vs hot nerd” thing is you can’t negotiate attraction and genuine desire which is what she’s essentially trying to make a case for. Also a lot of woman today engage in trying to convert short term dating prospects into long term relationships/marriage. Which means that the men that women choose for short term are the men who they actually want and desire. Which generally isn’t the “hot nerd”.
The “hot nerd” is the man she settles for when she’s finally tired of the “jerks with swag and rizz”. She’s making a case for the pragmatic choice. Which sounds good, but if the women doesn’t have that genuine desire all she’s doing is setting up “hot nerds” to end up broken by the women who take this advice. Women are better off dating who they want and if that’s always the jerk maybe get some therapy to help resolve whatever trauma that makes them attracted to such men. As opposed to trying to convince themselves that they should be attracted to “hot nerds”
Therapy and penicillin.
eh? Hot nerds just need to up their game. The... crowd, of the hot nerds are just more passive and slower in their relationships. Bad Boys arent afraid to push things along fairly aggressively in the relationship. Go from 0 to bedroom in no time flat. Hot Nerds on the other hand are looking for something longer term, but are slower to create any sort of emotional connection. So women check out.
Women can only wait for so long to hear whether you are interested in them. Make a move, or else they will find someone else. Some dudes just move at a glacial pace because they are too afraid of rejection. Dont want to say something because they are afraid the woman will just turn them down.
Yes, these low quality women need therapy if they want a high quality man.
Look into the term "fisherian runaway", it explains precisely how female dating and aesthetic expectation has gotten out of control and has rendered all those women affected as a reproductively lost generation.
@@kingsgoldL comment ngl
Every woman I've been on dates with are single moms from the "bad boys" and would get upset with me because I don't date single moms. By the way every single mom would admit to me on our dates that they would have rejected me when she was younger and before she had kids just because I'm short at 5'5. Suddanly after having 3-5 kids by taller men only now I'm tall enough for her just because I have resources to help raise taller mens kids and being feeling like they are just settling for me.
Here here, brother.
5,5 is not even that short.
Yeah dude, don't raise their kids. Stay strong brother.
5'5" is plenty tall in many other parts of the world
@@davidbowick7830 Women and other men have said I was a weak male for not stepping up to the plate to help single moms raise their kids. I think a stronger male would be content not raising other mens kids like a cuckold especially since I don't have kids of my own. Thats what actually cuckolds do. A Cuckold is a type of bird who will fly to a nest and kick the eggs out to the ground then put his eggs in the nest tricking another cockold bird to think the eggs are his. The guy that said I was a weak male for not dating single moms always complains about how her kids trash his house and he has no authority to say anything about it to them and now he has his own kid with her and all hes resources are going to another mans two kids and barely anything for his own kid lol.
I can appreciate what Courtney is trying to do. One major aspect has been left out, and the blonde hinted to it early in her vid….. money. She said “nerds are smart. They become Dr’s or engineers….” There in lies you answer, fellas. She didn’t marry a hot nerd. She married a hot wealthy guy who HAPPENS to be a nerd. I’m open to being wrong, but just looking at her, I don’t think I am. I’m almost 50 now. Young men, work on your wealth. Yes, your other good/nerd traits will be a cherry on top, but work on building your wealth. You’ll see.
You are correct but very much underestimating the role "hot" plays in all of this.
Mate... They start to realise the bills need to be paid...
Don't reward gold diggers.
I was legitimately dumped by a woman making $60K that I only make slightly less than $100K. Dumped for "only" making ~40% more than her.
That woman does not love the guy or find him at all attractive. She's just using him for money, and I guarantee you that she has some tatted-up loser she's fucking behind his back. If you have built any wealth, you're best off not letting women see it.
Rule number one: NEVER take advice about women from women
Rule number two: NEVER listen to what a woman says, but pay attention to her actions.
The truth is, when women say they wan't Nerdy guys, what they mean is Hot guy that can pull off the nerd look eg Henry Cavil. So to my fellow nerds, lets stick to self improvement, Warhammer 40K is on Friday and Pizza is on me.
Basically nerd with good wage diff story in school phew 😅
Right you are, I’m a 8 how do I know this, I get indicators of interest &. Choosing signals all the time, I’ve met a few married original “hot women” who settled for the need got married and had kids, guess what they get bored of them and cheat, take someone on your level
Dumbest comment Ive read
Both of these women married nerds though... so they're not just talking they actually took action. A man *still* has to make something of himself, have a purpose, be at least somewhat in shape, enforce boundaries, be confident etc. to get an attractive woman. But he doesn't need to be a bad boy. He can be decent. That's the point of this video. Yes there are broken women, I'd agree the majority are broken and have high body counts before they settle down, and they are poor choices for LTRs, but there are women out there that don't make these mistakes. Be discerning and go for the latter. You have to search harder in the USA to find them than in certain other countries, but they are out there.
Why are you watching this channel then?
“ Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” - Bill Gates
And the nerds who get bored with dominating a computer tech industry will have greater aspirations of destroying Nationalism, poisoning the masses with a eugenics program, and pushing for a central governance of the world. -Bill Gates.
Yeah but he's a global democider lol
👀👀 and look what happened to bill gates - Jeff Bezos too
Women are capable of going for a guy over some of the dumbest reasons you could ever imagine. For example, they can decide that they like a guy because they like the way his hands look. It is hard to believe you are dealing with adults when you hear stuff like this.
I was once told by a very pretty woman that I had very distinctive hands. Who knew??
Ye. Its funny seeing a girl start finding reason to like u lol😂 like they start justifying reasons they like you that didnt exist for them before lol
Women say men only care about a women's looks when they wont date a guy under 6' lol.
After our faces, our hands are the most expressive parts of us. More than "the way his hands look", women seem to be attracted to what his hands do, because they represent what the guy does most.
I think the hands thing is one of the things men have to bite the bullet on. It isn't dumb, it's just what a lot of women are attracted to. Kinda like men and bust size. And its something we can largely control (work out, don't be obese, keep your hands clean, healthy and manicured, etc). It's certainly less dumb than being attracted to a guy because he was born in the right month.
Did you notice how every reason to "marry the hot nerd" revolves around his money and what emotional support he can provide? Literally the only thing this video says is "Money is the only thing that matters in men".
bad boy provides emotional support in the form of drama, status signal to other gals (when young), sometimes good sex
Yeah at no point did she say how she's made his life better. And she probably gave him Herpes.
Welcome to hypergamy
Correct.
Only nerds that make big $$$ are worthy.
If you're a nerd that likes his 9-5, makes 80K a year and is content. You do not apply. You're a loser to women cuz you aren't trying to climb a pointless ladder to 500K.
In 2423 how many people alive right now will be remembered? Just think of all the people you remember from 1623.
Climb that ladder to get a woman that was ran through by Chad, Tryrone and Pookie.
As Hoe Math said, investment can get her. But bad boy qualities is what keeps her.
why is it that they always say "marry the nerd" once they are approaching 30?? they never say that shit when they're 19. this is why I can't bring my self to want to get with someone who's approaching late 20's/ early 30's because i know i'm just being settled for
19 is their hoe and party years.
Well we don’t know how old she was when she started the hot nerd.
I married the nerd at 23 and we have been happy together for the past 8 years.
@@Semaj2326cope.
This woman isn't saying she wants nerds, what she wants is a man with all the bad boy traits but also kind, intelligent, and loyal.
Yes...and that's the problem for women...lol
They are always trying to change the qualities in a Man that made them attractive in the first place...
And as a Man, your job is to resist changing the core fundamentals of your attractive qualities...It's the secret to a long lasting relationship.
The nerds who rides Harleys, and play a Strat or a Les Paul...you know, cool nerds.
Not wrong
Maybe she is just a Gold-digger, so I suggest that you get a better job!
Intelligent, maybe, kind (in this society) no, and loyal? Why?
Women who have blown themselves out and sold themselves out with a high body count are worthless to a man of value and, they don't get this and still insist on something that cannot exist in modern society.
Jerry: _"Interesting. She doesn't care for you, then a stern warning, suddenly a phone call. Seems Elaine's made you the bad boy, and Anna digs the bad boy."_
George: _"I'm the bad boy. I've never been the bad boy."_
Jerry: _"You've been the bad employee, the bad son, the bad friend..."_
George: _"Yes, yes..."_
Jerry: _"...the bad fiance, the bad dinner guest, the bad credit risk..."_
George: _"Okay, the point is made."_
Jerry: _"...the bad date, the bad sport, the bad citizen...the bad tipper!"_
ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!
I greatly appreciate this
One of my favorite scenes lol
"She's bald!"
oops, wrong episode 😂
@@SpoonHurler you’re bald! -Elaine
I want nothing to do with women who were at any point attracted to ‘bad boys’.
That’s what she likely will always be attracted to. When she is old enough she then realises that it is screwing up her life, and she wants someone better, but that doesn’t mean she is attracted to someone better.
There are rare circumstances where I might think about it, but extremely unlikely. I too have brushed against these types of people, and what little influence they had over my life was already bad enough. I’m not keen on any more.
Yep. Guys who accept the woman who has hit the wall thinking "she finally sees me" are in for a rude awakening when they realize she's fighting the urge every day to cheat or leave for those "bad boys" who rev her engine without trying.
Masculine traits (bad boy) like dominance, cockiness (called confidence), and even dark triad traits make her instinctively feel like you have the potential to be dangerous. This was important evolutionarily speaking when a man might have to fight off lions and tigers and bears. These inspire lust and it's not a conscious thing she can control.
Good guy traits like being a provider, honesty, integrity, emotionally stable, etc trigger her conscious desires, which obviously are important for a long term relationship. But this is not the same thing as lust.
Ideally, you need to work on both sides as a guy. Otherwise, she will love you deeply (conscious, personal commitment to good guy) and still cheat on you or leave for the guy who turns up her oven in a moment of weakness, or thinking some bad boy could change and be both. The subconscious is often stronger than the conscious, and it's certainly more persistent. The subconscious works on you all of the time and requires actively controlling it to resist, where the conscious often requires active control to maintain.
*I prefer the word "cockiness" over confidence because of the external projection. You can be the most confident guy in the world, but if you're quiet, shy, reserved, humble, etc, she won't SEE YOU that way. There has to be external presentation of that confidence, which is typically cockiness, for her to put that as one of the top 5 characteristics she associates with you before you are already in the friend zone. If you're not peacocking your confidence, it may as well not exist to her until it's too late.
@@sifumode9460 The subconscious is stronger than the conscious in weak minded people. I'm not interested in weak minded women, precisely for some of the reasons that you listed.
If she can't even trust herself to do the right thing, how can I?
A nerd with life goals beats the bad-boy every day, but not if you friend-zone the nerd and expect them to still be there when you’re done with your bad-boy party phase…
As for the vanilla part, nerds have the same desires to add spice they may just need help exploring them.
Very well said.
Thanks @@BrianCave
Many nerds will still be there and women know it. Nerds don't get women. Many end up single with no relationships with women all their lives.
Because a lot of women ain’t worth it regardless
An alpha wouldn't agree with you. You can sit it out on the sidelines while he has fun.@@gbd-oq1rz
I appreciate the use of the term "hot nerd", it's honest, better than pretending like being hot isn't still the major factor.
The translation of hot nerd = attractive professional. Hardly a newsflash that these guys are in high demand. Don't settle for the recovering bar-skanks lads.
I love the part where you point out that you should want your kids to turn out like a bunch of mini versions of your significant other. I can honestly say that (in the reverse) I'm currently actively working to make sure my kids DON'T turn out like my ex-wife.
Unfortunately, not all nerds are great people. Some are poorly socially adjusted. Being a nerd among nerds, there's definitely people who react badly to the slightest opposition or hardship. Even I find myself responding unconstructively in certain situations, and it's a component to why I'm a nerd.
That being said, many of the advantages she covers are valid but are secondary to what makes a good partner. Having a good career is great, but it's more about making life easier than making a relationship good. Eg: a strong career can mean he's not there often. Honesty, integrity, discipline, courage, compassion, temperance, drive... these are the masculine first order qualities you should want him fostering, because with them everything else gets better. Nerds are definitely encouraged in many of these qualities, but often not all. A more balanced life is a good thing.
Your comment is spot on. Spot fricken on. Thank you for posting this.
@@BB-xx3dvrespectfully disagree on that
I’m sober, introvert, and not cocky, and that’s why I have low self-confidence.
Hang out with guys who are the opposite of you.
On the same boat my man. Hang in there!
Being sober should give you massive confidence my friend.
@@karuns9500Let sobriety give you unflappable confidence my man. It shows self discipline.
Let me guess... also a bit invisible to women, with a not so high status job, and single. The key word in this video is hot not nerdy.
One of my favourite type of videos is when you react to videos like these and give your thoughts, whether it’s the good or bad. Keep up the good work :)
At 21, i looked 12. At 35, I was a chick magnet, still am at 70. But I listened to what my mother told me. Women will show you what and who they are. wait and watch. Spot on mom. My mate found me. :)
Crazy I'm 32 but people think I'm 20 21. What do you think made you a chick magnet at 35 lol?
Men...don't let anyone fool you, despite being an overall great guy ( in this case a nerd), if you don't meet women's physical preferences (height and looks) you will remain invisible. Very sad to say, but very true.
don't forget about salary requirements.
@@soccerlube Agree; this video is nonsense.
As a nerd, I have no interest in Chad and Tyrone's leftovers. Either I am your first and best pick or nothing. Cause I ain't gonna be with someone who's going to be constantly thinking about her bad boy-exs and how they gave her the feelie feelz, the tingly tinglez, and rollercoaster excitement. If you don't have the discernment to pick the right man for yourself, you probably shouldn't be picking men and leave it up to your parents like it's been for thousands of years.
Every girl is someone's leftovers. Even Courtney has a notch-count. I refuse to believe she's sitting at "1." I like to think her number is reasonable, but I digress, and I hear what you're saying. The first sign that you're being treated as 2nd best, she should be out the door.
@@andyfranks1575 No obviously not everyone is, just very hard to find "0" these days. About Courtney I believe she has mentioned this previously, as far as I remember she said that she had been in a couple of relationships before her current one and both had cheated on her. Honestly it made me wonder what kind of guys they were...
@@link3727ngl they sound like the bad boy types 👀 cheated on her ? Is shea 304?????
100% agree that people who are single and don't want to be aren't choosing the correct partners. This includes me. Personally I know that I'm eliminating 80% of my available dating pool by not wanting children. This leaves like 11 people in my area/age range and we all think we're too good for each other apparently 😅
You guys get to choose? 😂
By the time the women realize this its too late and you setup yourself as a man for failed relationship. Her bad habits wont go away and it will be a headache to be with her, and thats if she doesnt already have a kid or 2 by the bad guys that you will have to deal with the ex father your entire relationship. Its just a bad experience, avoid these kind of girls if possible
The issue I have with the tiktok video & its logic is it all comes back to how it benefits the women. Feels almost like a husband for hire situation, while at the end of the day she’d still actually prefer the “bad boy”.
Well she’s trying to convince other women of this, why wouldn’t it talk about how it benefits them?
A guy who is model looking, has money and a good career, driven…he’s just a nerd because he treats you well. Revealing
What I take from this video is that no matter what type of guy your are, you can work hard to make yourself better and more attractive. Girls want guy who is at their "best". So to my guys out there, grab a girl who is at their "best" and not at her decline.
Hi Courtney, I found your channel not too long ago and I’ve been enjoying your content. It’s so refreshing to see that there are good women out there with their head on their shoulders. Unfortunately we are surrounded by sources that teach men and women to act in an infant like and toxic manner. Thank you for being a good female role model.
As long as he is hot then it's all OK and women are interested, but when they even say the word nerd, really they just mean a hot guy that adopts some nerd characteristics
"Ladies we need to stop going after the "bad boys". We need to pay more attention to hot doctors. Those nerdy guys who are frequently over looked." Brilliant observation *Citizen Kane slow clap*
Over the years I've watched various women in my circle fall for the bad boy. All of those relationships turned out badly and all of those bad boys are still working at the record store, bouncing at a night club or working as a semi employed musician now that they're in their 40s.
I would add that it is important for families and societies to put pressure on people to exhibit the qualities that will make a difference in building a relationship, family, and home.
Former black-pill incel here.
Now In a relationship of nearly 2 years and saving for a ring. There ARE good women out there. There IS hope. Life IS worth living. Love from America 🇺🇸
How did you go from blackpill incel to a relationship in only 2 years? Seems like a huge leap.
@@Madchris8828 what helped me a lot is understanding I can have standards as well just like women do. However, I learn from their mistakes of not having my standards be absurd. The standards I do have, I make sure to be absolute about them, as if I’m a yellow eyed sith. By doing so I’m more able to find and foster a budding relationship with the 0.1% of women that would say yes to me.
@@Madchris8828black pill is false wake up
I listened to this one psychologist a while back that helped me frame this frustration I have had for a while in a very understandable way. His presentation was on why you won't find love. In his work he noted that a significant portion of the population are confusing comfort with pleasure/affection/attraction. However the key is that most people have unresolved trauma that the confort they seek is toxic. It is a bit in line with the idea that no one will love you until you love you - but it fine tunes this a bit more to highlight the reason for this is you will always seek the wrong traits/characteristics/people. People who seek toxic people (e.g., bad boys) are unhealthy people that have no dealt with their issues/traumas.
I think that is part of why people may have stop listening once she said "hot nerd" because she's coming off as someone who is jumping from one fetishized movie character to another (bad boy to hot nerd) and is not actually looking for a stable, mature person. It's the female version of She's All That except in this case the hot guy puts on a pair of glasses and magically becomes a hot nerd.
She claims to be attracted to hot nerds. If that was true, she would have been dating hot nerds, not bad boy bouncers.
Forget about them calling these guys "nerds" they are HOT (genetically) and/or RICH. Period. Find women who have the same hobbies and interests as you, work within that space. Also, avoid girls who wear hats.
Why hats bad?
"has nothing to do with looks" God damn, women just love to lie
I really love this video for so many reasons. You offer a *balanced* PoV and you do not glorify one side over another. For example, your comments regarding "being a nerd does not give you free reign to simply sit in your closet and play video games all day long. That is not attractive."
Ugh.
"It is about being a dependable partner, ..."
I am glad that you boiled it down to the essence of what females are looking for in a partner.
And yes, I have work that I have to do; I have to shape up and improve myself.
Thanks, as always! Please keep up with these valuable and awesome videos!
A psychologist once told me that there are two kinds of relationships. The first is short term recreational, and the second is long-term committed. You’re not gonna get the second one from a bad boy.
I think even if you’re a nerd, if women aren’t expressing the genuine desire like you’d see in a short-term recreational relationship, it’s better to just stay single.
@@FakeAndTrolled Short term, recreational relationships. are primarily meant to just have sex for as long as the two can stand each other. There is no commitment it’s just for fun. Friends with benefits.
Thank you for Supporting Us Genuine Kind Hearted Guys!.
💯✅.
Great content Courtney. You're doing a lot of good for people by encouraging them to date for good purposes. This will absolutely help plenty of folks who haven't heard this kind of wisdom. Cheers.
I just had this convo with a woman on the 1st date. Im different than what she usually dated. older, successful. She cancelled our 3rd date to date someone else. I assume she went back to her normal patterns.
she didnt feel the tingle
From my own personal experience, nerds can also be sociopaths. I was living with my ex-boyfriend before, he was a senior software engineer in a company, and in the beginning, everything was going well between us. Until, he had shown signs that he can be aggressive. I didn’t leave and stayed with him until it only got worse. I filed a case against him and that’s how we broke up.
Always felt that girls who go after "bad boys" was equivalent to guys going after the "hot" girl who is good looking, great body, makeup, hair, etc. who is also nasty and mean. The plain girls who are nice are the "yin" to the "yang" of guys who are nerds. Guys will often ignore the plain girl who is sweet, supportive and smart. Often those girls come into their own in their late 20's and become the attractive ones. Things have a way of evening out over time.
AS another TH-camr recommended, pursue girls who are the "ugly ducklings" You won't be sorry
I would never suggest to go after someone who you don’t find attractive at all, but don’t ignore someone who has the same values as you who is sweet, loving, who gives you peace, and who is genuinely into you and you are attracted to under the idea that you can somehow do better. But yeah just like men there are also women who are late bloomers. I think it starts to change when people leave high school, start working and buying their own clothes (and makeup in the case of girls), etc. When I was in high school I didn’t have a job so I just wore the clothes my parents bought me and that didn’t go over all that well.
You hit it on the head, Courtney. People need to date with more intention instead of surface attraction. However, getting people (young women) to see that is the magic trick no one has been able to pull off. Thanks for another great video. I appreciate your feminine and graceful takes on things.
The only reason they go for the bad boy is because they think the high can numb past pain. But it can’t. It will only get worse and worse.
Amen
You did choose wisely, Courtney! You got a keeper and I so admire his love and knowledge for timepieces...If his love and admiration for his hobby is half of what he has for you, you're Golden, Girl!
Usually when a guy has his glow up and become an fboy its not because he started getting female attention out of nowhere. His glow up is usually caused by a woman breaking his heart. This then leads to him engaging in self improvement. Then as he starts to look and act the part, to some degree, of a chad then women start giving him attention. This is when the fboy happens. No man is born a player. They are created by women viscously ripping a man's heart out.
It's not about being the bad boy. It's about being the honorable and integrous man and letting our partner decide for herself. Also, my crush? It was her personality and laugh that drew me to her.
*Hot guy who looks like a model is the dealbreaker, just happens to be nerdish is either tolerated or a bonus. 🙄
This word "Rizz" needs to be left in 2023
And brains over looks any day
Dear Courtney, Happy Holidays to you as well!!! You're very sweet & honest.
I appreciate you & your channel very much.
P.S. I agree with the guys that suggested you comment throughout the video & pause when needed. It helps to hear your 2 cents in real time & makes your videos even better.
Regards,
Matt
So... she's basically saying to stop looking for very hot dumb, broke, cocky, unfaithful bad men and to start looking for a very hot, succesful, smart man who loves and respects you... duh, is it supposed to be a "hot take?" 😅
I see a lot of comments from men saying that they’ve been told they aren’t “the type women date, but the type they marry.” But at the same time, they’re not willing to be the backup plan after women are done clubbing and want something serious… Uh, then don’t go for the clubbing girls??? The same logic can be applied here. Women who want something serious shouldn’t date the bad boys and men who want to be taken seriously from the start shouldn’t date a clubbing woman. It goes both ways. No one talks about how shy, nerdier, less-conventionally-attractive girls also get the short end of the stick when we’re younger, and I talk from experience here. Thankfully, I’m a nerd who’s engaged to another nerd and blissfully happy in our future together. There IS someone out there for you, you just need to adjust your dating pool.
As a nerd I’ve been patiently waiting for women to figure out that the “bad boy” is not the best choice for long term relationships. Thank you Mrs. Courtney Ryan!
You gonna keep on waiting brotha. Even if you show them on paper they won't learn because they are driven by emotions not logic and facts
Courtney, you're fantastic, genuine, and informative. I really appreciate your content as it applies to both men and women equally. This coming from a bad boy in my teens and twenties turned humbled, empath after my son was born.
I'm recently divorced, but your last points about choosing are spot on. Keep up the great content.
the issue with women not wanting nice guys / nerds is because most of the time those guys dont pursue manly things. the biggest one is probably working out. it is NOT a lot of time. its 4 hours a week, 1 hour in the gym 4 times a week. you have 176 hours in a week and you cant dedicate 4 of them to making EVERY aspect of your life better? and yes, its been proven that even gamers increase their gamer skills after working out since you developed better mind-muscle connections and also your body can just react to things better.
All that girl in the tik Tok said was that if you're tall, hot, have money and are nice, your hobbies and interests don't matter
Don’t listen to any of this lads. I’ve been there, it will not work for you.
She wants to marry a “hot nerd” after a dozen bad boys have a go. We’ve all heard this story before: a woman “finally realises” that nice guys are the way to go after she feels like she had enough fun. In blunt terms, she’s looking for someone who will provide for her. At the end of the day, you will be paying for something a bunch of other dudes got for free. You can’t afford to let yourself get scammed, not in this economy.
I’ll most likely get a bunch of hate for this, because even the women who say this don’t realise that they’ve just rationalised this behaviour under the guise of “I’ve grown” or “I’ve matured”, but whatever.
Don’t be fooled, what you should be focusing on is your career and your appearance. I’ve worked on myself for 2 years and I’m now a regional manager and I get frequent attention from women, which I ignore because I’m not done yet. Never settle for being anyone’s plan B.
P.S. whips and chains are the way to go, women love that stuff.
Honestly the best i can give to nerdy guy is to always be yourself with a little bit of bad boy trairs to give you strong vibe and also having options instead of simping and relying on one girl
Im a good person with good values. I just dont have any interest in making money or being super interesting or all that bullshit. I want a quiet life. I want just enough money to pay my bills and enjoy my hobbies. Im not ambitious and i will not be going to the gym any days of the week. My issue with women saying as we get older we realize that smart is better than swag. ... ya by that time you have let a dozen men inside you. Ive been with 2 women. I would never ever be with a woman who has been with significantly more women than me. Gross.
I disagree w that last bit, kind of sounds bigoted and u just want someone inexperienced
@@anticarnistvegan i just want someone who is like me and didnt sleep around. Whats wrong with wanting someone on my own level? How is that bigoted. I dont think you know what that word means.
More great content! The line "If I have a bunch of my mini-husbands running around. Sign me up!" Absolutely, perfect.
What TikTok Barbie is actually saying is that's it's O.K. to "settle" for a phyically attractive nerd because they'll probably have money, and have lower levels of self confidence and self esteem so they won't want to acknowledge you're just using them and are less likely to decide they dessrve better than however you want to treat them, or be cheating on you. They're just an easier simp to leech off and you won't have to give a lot in return because they'll convince themselves they're lucky to even have a chance with you. She's still shopping in the top 10% store, but in the D&D aisle.
AKA gold digger
Thanks for the upload Courtney, just wanted to add that regardless of what a man's physical appearance is, the majority of his drive/ambition for financial stabilty is always overlooked by good looking women. For anyone reading this comment, if you find yourself working towards an independent venture for the overall benefit of your well being... Continue to do so! good looking women will always be available. All the best! Cheers
I don't think we know what the definition of nerd is anymore. The biggest key to nerdiness is *ENTHUSIASM* not smarts (book or otherwise). Courtney describes geeks more than nerds (of course they are not mutually exclusive) but one of the things that's great about nerds is if they are passionate about you and the relationship, true nerds are always all in. Great positive video though.
I looked up this girls insta. Yeah she is NOT married to a nerd. Dude is an absolute stud. Tall, 6 pack, beard. Looks like athlete.
Not shocked. A total Chad who happens to be a decent human being.
In other words, be hot and rich. Super helpful advice, ladies.
I'm thinking hot nerd is an Oxymoron, much like hot fat chick
It feels that way
It is, women's needs change as they age, but not who most are attracted to.
It's not so much the fact she mentioned attraction when talking about nerds, it's the fact she said "hot", and not "reasonably attractive" or "fairly good looking".
Also, just because she didn't mention looks does not mean she didn't mean looks when saying "hot".
Also, small correction: Intelligence is attractive to other intelligent people. People who are not that smart might actually get confused by intelligence (or mistake you for a dumb person)
to her success point: she's right, but success doesn't come over night. I doubt men would want to start dating at 30, when the girls already had their fun with the bad boys.
I tend to think women mistake narcissism for confidence and swoon over abusive men. I guess it's hard to be logical when you're fighting against your own biology.
Very solid point about what happens to late bloomers. Same thing happens to lottery winners and other people that receive a lot of something they never had without much work. It can absolutely go both ways.
My sister has admittedly pursued the bad boy type her whole life and it has left her with physical and emotional abuse, heart brake, divorce and a close call with a frequently institutionalized schizophrenic psychopath.
Agreed. Both men and women need to date based on long-term vision and compatibility vs quick dopamine hits if they want the right partner.
Organically doing that would help most find someone they can build with for life.
Thank you, Courtney. As a man, the message I get from her is she's excited about who her man IS. Not some reprocessed version on social media and romance novels.
It is good to see women talking honestly regarding the type of men which are most valuable: in turn a man valuable to a woman will make his woman also valuable to him. dating for a relationship with good lifetime prospects makes most sense. Dating Chads & Tyrones is like throwing your money away at a casino; sometimes you might win a little, but will usually end up penniless in the end.
Courtney makes so much sense and gives a great deal of useful advice.
I usually really like Courtney's content, but this one I LOVED. She explains it perfectly, and honestly, her points are accurate. You can be a nerdy guy but you should make an effort to balance it out. I fall asleep to Star Trek every night...after I worked out and had a healthy dinner. I play competitive foosball (it's a thing, believe me), but I don't just play at the bar, I am always practicing to go to large out of state tournaments because it's a passion of mine. I dabble in fine arts (watercolor painting, charcoal drawing) because it's a nice break from my operations management job that pays me decently. This Tiktok and Courtney's assessment is spot on.
Now, if I could only grow a few inches and not be 5 foot 4, well, that would be awesome.
What we see in this video, is not a comparison between a bad boy and a nerd. It's about a woman that chose a guy with most of the traits women look for (tall, well dressing, successful/wealthy, in shape and good looking enough), that happened to be on the nerdy side.
If you keep the guy exactly as he is, and just interchange nerdy for bad boy, she would most likely still be attracted to him. Meanwhile, keep everything the same, but make him short, and she would probably not give him a chance. It would depend on what she values the most, but one thing is for sure, the nerdy part, is not what she values there.
11 :00 good points - along with attraction, do morals align, what will we contribute to the world are good questions to ask to create better families.
& good point past all the hype staying grounded , not everyone may match a nerd but stay smart.
I absolutely loathe that there are women who classify guys into things like “bad boy” and “nerd”, and basing their dating preferences off of what I see as total bullshit. Basically what she ultimately described was varying levels of intelligence, with “bad boys” just being shallow and stupid characters and “hot nerds” being smart, mature and resourceful. That’s basically it. Both can be fit and good looking. Both can be charismatic and charming. Both can be protective and masculine etc etc.
I would say I’m a nerd who, when puts in the work, is of above-average physical attractiveness; but then acts sort of like a f-boy, which ends up either attracting the wrong type of woman who is disappointed that I’m not actually a f-boy, or only attracts the right type of woman short-term; meaning it never pans out into a healthy relationship because I haven’t quite developed the “hot nerd” depth that she’s referring to. I absolutely blame all the social-media and the internet dating-app culture.
I met my “hot nerd” guy at anime convention. He was also working in IT. We were part of the same friend group, but he stood out for me, because of how thoughtful and kind he was, but totally blind to female attention. Some might consider that a downside, but that meant I had to be the one to make the fist move. And God it paid off. He was the most greatest guy I’ve ever dated and needless to say we are happily married now. We still play games and watch anime all the time, so our interests are very similar, but I would imagine you would want that in your marriage anyway, no matter the “type” of a guy you are going for.
Watching this with my wife she claimed I was / am that "nerd" . I have been accused of that many times . She too dated the "Bad Boy Cowboy" before we met . Got burned , she decided she date the "the nerd " . How did that work out ?
4 children , 12 grandchildren and 43 years of marriage later I guess the facts speak for themselves.
Good video for us underdogs Courtney , keep up the good work, thanks !!
I like Courtney, she’s self aware and keeps it 100.