Highly agree! What men really want is peace and consolation. 'The one thing' and good food is just another way of consolation... in a life full of hard efforts and fighting on the professional front.
but that statement isn't wrong. we definitely are intimidated by toxic women, they can always accuse us of some false shit and we might have to pay for it in court for years. some men even suicide.
Ok, I got to admit the Cristiane Justino Venâncio ("Cris Cyborg") would probably intimidate me. A woman with 12 PHDs and a CEO of 10 companies wouldn't.
I agree, but I suppose there are different types of intimidation. I'm certainly not physically intimidated. But a man that has any functioning brain cells SHOULD be afraid of the destruction these women are capable of in your life.
@@rainyriderr1112 Wrong! American guys just cannot handle strong and independent women like they are here in Europe and certainly in Scandinavia. Us vikings expect a woman to be able to handle herself, have an education, an independent life and a career. :D
I recently rejected a woman who got frustrated over the fact that I didn't ask her more about her occupation, despite acknowledging it earlier, and just wanted to know more about who _she_ was --- *as a person!* A woman can work at a checkout for all I care. I want to build an _emotional_ connection.
It’s funny. They get frustrated when we say we don’t care about your career, but in the same breath, they say “my money is my money” “your money is our money”.
It's terrible to have to explain these things to grownups. I have a couple kids and I try to teach them to be respectful and not be gloating when they win or a sore loser when they lose. It goes the same for everything in life. Humility is a virtue everyone needs to have.
Unfortunately I’m one of those grownups, my coworker was super kind invited me to a BBQ event and rather than saying unfortunately I’m busy, I shared the truth which is I’m leaving for a vacation and I’d rather be there than the BBQ. WTF is won’t wrong with me, that’s messed up for me to say that.
@@cosmonucleus7076 well that was not a great response but hey, at least you recognize you messed up! There's tons of people who wouldn't even make that connection in their head. Own up to it, apologize for having a brain fart, and hope they forgive you.
@Cosmos nothing wrong with saying you've booked a vacation, well before you knew about the invite. It's the "I'd rather be there than with you" which you should have shut up about.
Women, you need to hear this...most men don't give a shit about your Master's degree. At least not when it comes to dating and marriage. They want a woman that is kind, loving, supportive, good with kids, clean, and takes good care of herself. Hobbies are great! A high end career in which she won't be able to raise the kids? Not so much
I found one that brings up our advanced degrees so much. I don't mention the MBA much because I just feel like it's a degree both me and my best friend got. Hobbies and temperament are super important. I met my partner before he had any degrees though, I think I had my BA when I met him. It was pretty expected that I go and get these degrees though.
It's because women project their dating preferences (high salary, educated, etc.) onto men, while in reality, men hardly take these traits in consideration because we generally don't mind being providers for what we judge to be a good woman, the contrary rarely applies.
@@jasonanthonyschultz5672 lol, i also think like Anita. I like to watch videos geared towards men to learn about their dynamics etc. sadly all the men i meet just want to sleep around.
If a woman thinks that just because she has a Masters or Doctorate's degree that it gives her the right to have a bad attitude, that is the definition of a woman with no substance. Her saying "A man of substance will always care what you've done with your life because you're going to be the mother to his children" is dead on accurate because a woman who has accomplished great things while also having a great attitude and zest for life is someone who will instill those traits in her children which is what any man of substance would love to have.
That’s the same kind of woman whom wants your tax money when she’s 55 and spent her fortune on her degree, handbags, Mercedes, and trips to Malta. Let them starve.
When I'm looking for a mother to my children? Academic achievement means zero. Many people I've met with degrees, even from prestigious schools, are some of the most common sense lacking people I've ever met. Men have chosen women they liked for all of human history without a college degree as a prerequisite. They're trying to demand we put more emphasis on it because THEY care about it.
@@ryecatcher25Entirely untrue. If you wanted to prove your point, just show what most of the “red pill” channels show of people spewing vitriol and toxicity. This “thank goodness I’m not dating anymore, I’m married/engaged” nonsense is just people bragging.
Unrealistic expectations. The grass is greener on the other side because it’s covered in 🐂 💩 Thank you for all that you do Courtney. For many of us you are the little sister we never had. Much appreciated.
I have spent a long time now studying relationship psychology, some neurology, and related things as hobby and can say this video is has a a lot of good information in it. I think my favorite part is about how a lot of Women tend to confuse what they want in a man with they think men want in a partner.
I have a BA and an MA. Some of the stupidist people I've met were educated. I'll take an uneducated intelligent woman with practical skills any day of the week.
I met my wife of 20 years the year before she went to medical school. I proposed to her bc she checked all the boxes. Yes, her being a doctor is a plus but it wouldn't have mattered. She enjoys her work and it helps that she's satisfied. It shows through in her home life with our family.
@paul hessler indeed. What I was drawn to, unlike most 21yo girls, was her ability to have a great intellectual conversation while identifying with my conservative values and frugal financial practice. The doctor thing was just a bonus. What I always tried to find out from girls I was interested in dating was, what was their relationship like with their parents and siblings, credit score/financial mindset, and their values. That would give me an up front indication if she was wife material or not.
Honestly- and partially because you touched upon this point- many of us who aren't solely after sexual satisfaction mostly prefer the partners we share our lives with to be able to be comfortable in who they are. Not to be comfortable with putting up the facade of a bitchy additude whenever it pleases them, but to be able to genuinely be themselves. Many of us may not agree with who they are at first, but love doesn't always come fast like a boiling pot, sometimes it comes slow like a simmering pan. What matters then is how much patience you have and how much criticism you can take to help you work on yourself.
A pot of water will boil a lot slower than a pan of water will simmer. I couldn’t ignore this 😂 If you mean love is like a slow braise, not a fast sear, that may be a better cooking analogy
An emotionally mature woman who is brave enough to trust me. A woman who doesn't feel sorry for me but rather tries to understand and encourage me when I have problems. A woman that is as positive as I am and looks forward rather than backward at life and it's trials. Also confident enough to not need anyone else's validation except from her family and me of course. That's what I want.
Courtney is so correct in what she says. Men have come to realize that too many women bring too much drama and expense to a relationship. No thanks, we’d rather stay single.
What I dont like is being held to a different standard because im not a loser. I broke up with a recent girl because she was trying to get me to jump through stupid hoops when her prior relationship with a broke ass pookie, she gave him everything for nothing. Why would I put up with that disrespect?
I had an ex that wanted to go out all the time and go on holidays, i wanted to but it is not realistic to needlessly spend like that. The next guy she got with gave into her demands and they went many places while posting it everywhere on social media, they lasted just over a year before she dumped him. Pretty glad i stood my ground.
I think my grandfather put it best when I asked him as a teenager what to look out for in a partner. He told me to find someone you are grateful to wake up next to in the morning. He was married to my grandmother for over 60 years when he passed in 2013.
I think that is the main problem with dating nowadays. People aren’t very grateful for what they have. They always think “the grass is greener on the other side”. Everyone needs to just step back and be happy to be with someone who loves them.
@@aidey8mph605 Yep, everybody's just trying to one-up themselves all the time. Nobody is ever just happy with what they have, they constantly want more and better.
Personality will always be a big factor. You can be the richest person in the world, but if you have a big ego, that won’t blossom a relationship or any ships for that matter.
You will NEVER become rich or have succes in anything in this world unless you have a huge ego, so much that you are a pain in the a*s to be around, even for your closest friends and family. ;)
It's nice to hear someone mention that being personally fulfilled makes you a better partner. that's common sense that has become less common over time.
Just found this channel and I have to say, Courtney is one badass individual. She's got a great moral and ethical compass, understands the importance of accountability for both men and women, and recognizes the significance of unifying as a people for a common goal or idea. She's one cool gal.
Yeah tbh, my ex was like this once she got that fancy job at IBM and I was working at a nice modest company nothing fancy but making money to support both of us and whatever. She got nasty and was a pain to deal with. Broke up with me 2 weeks later she's dating some financial guy from her friend group im like cool. She still tries to stalk me and see how I'm doing because it makes her happy when I'm doing bad, unfortunately, yeah I'm not so she absolutely hates me. Now she's trying to stalk me near my work because of her new job and is gonna look for me I'm like we are 26 please grow up
Single woman here. I don’t think men are intimidated by a woman with an education or a well paying career. I think the issue is the attitude that often accompanies the education and career. I can’t speak for all women. I can only speak for myself. I have dated two men within the past five years. Neither one had a college degree. Neither one had a job or career that required a college degree. I’m a teacher, so I have a college degree, as well as post graduate studies. I make decent money. My college degree rarely came up as a topic of discussion. I’m not sure if I ever told either one of them what my degree is. I dated one man for one year and the other man for three years. Why didn’t my degree come up? It wasn’t part of our conversations. If our conversations weren’t about college, it wasn’t going to come up as a topic. My salary also never came up. It wasn’t important. Both men felt very strongly that men are financial providers. They paid for our dates when we went out. I didn’t complain about where we went. I always said thank you for the dates. I always told them that I had a great time. I always reciprocated in some way, usually with a meal or some homemade treats. A random gift would also make an appearance. One of the best pieces of dating advice I learned came from Patti Stanger’s book Become Your Own Matchmaker. She asked one of her male matchmaking clients what he wants from a woman when they’re on a date. His words? Show up, smell good, and smile. That’s easy for me. Courtney, you are right that both partners should be looking for people of substance to date. In order to do that, we need to make sure that we are people of substance. As a single woman, I appreciate your videos. Too many people in the dating space group all single women into one toxic group, even if we’re not toxic. It’s even worse if you’re a single mother, like I am. Thanks for another great video. I have no problem with people replying or asking questions. If you choose to do so, please be respectful. Thank you.
@@davidroberts9099 so there's a direct positive correlation between education and common sense. I'm not sure why you're seeking to frame either education or women choosing to not remain in unhappy marriages as bad things. Yes, divorce can be a difficult and unhappy process, particularly for any children involved, but no one should ever have to feel trapped or compelled to remain in a relationship that isn't working for them. I have both male and female friends who've been through the process, none enjoyed it but all are now happier because they did it, even if they regret that it had to happen.
Ma,am, i just wanted to say how good it made me feel to actually read a properly written comment. Of course, you being a teacher. 😁 But still, judging ones proper use of simple grammar and sentence structure is an easy way to tell a person's level of intelligence. I want others to take note! Absolutely wonderful! Thank you. Sincerely....a random single Montana rancher/cowboy.
@@IEdjumacate I didn't miss the point of the video. But I'm questioning if the commenters on here did. They are speaking as if it's a virtue that the women they deal with make humble salaries. A good woman is a good woman with our without a large salary.
Courtney, I've noticed that there are many reasons a woman might want a man in her life and it often has nothing to do with the man himself. Some women let their mothering-instinct make that decision and so they bring a child-man into their life to boss around. Some women confuse their need for safety and let their fear bring a man into their life and so they treat him like a dog or pet. I just posted a short 2 minute video on age-gap relationships which really ties in nicely with this one. Curious what you think of my hypothesis (in the vid and this comment).
She said my thoughts exactly. As that accomplished guy with friends who are also accomplished, there's nothing more annoying to us than someone who makes their career/accomplishments their entire personality. Yes I want a woman who is educated and has skills that say she didn't make it through life on the charity of others... I also want her to be fun to be around. The "boss diva" chick is NOT fun to be around. Trust me. I dated one.
Agree, but you also correctly pointed out that an accomplished person is important. These types of channels constantly say that men don't care about her career, she can be a waitress or barista. Not my woman. Did that shit when I was younger and there's no long term future when one party has no earning potential and your entire future is dependent upon you. If you plan that, for her to be a house wife, fine. But In my 40s, nope. I want a self sufficient woman who can contribute to our future at least a little bit.
@@Swearengen1980 very much agree from personal experience. The first woman I dated a call center woman. While sweet, I can tell she'd have been more a burden as I'd have been over most of the household chores. No thanks. While I've run into my share of accomplished women who can't adult worth a damn, they've been few and far in between fortunately.
@@Fenrir190 I really haven't had encounters with accomplished women who weren't also well organized in their personal lives as well. My conflict was their arrogance over having a PhD or Masters and how they were better than me because they were "educated" and also very liberal. Each of those 4 or 5 women who got snotty with me, I absolutely embarrassed in our debate, proving a degree doesn't mean shit as far as intelligence. And once they had proved themselves to be "one of those", I always liked to end with, "You have a mountain of student debt; I have none and make double what you do. Which one of us is stupid?". But that's really not a slam on successful women, it's just the way left wing "academic" types are. Just terrible people.
@@Swearengen1980 the woman I'm with now cosigns that all of that 🙃😂 Educated doesn't mean intelligent. It means you managed to sit in a class and regurgitate information. I know a number of guys who got degrees as a formality. They already knew the info better than the average person. Yeah man I've got stories for days over years of dating. Let's hope things go the distance with this new woman I'm with 🙃
Who would want to be in a relationship with someone with a confrontational personality? I’ve known people like this. They argue and fight constantly. It almost becomes the basis of their relationship. Eventually, most break up.
What we men like: smiling warm approachable intelligent good values strength of character What we men hate: bad attitude standoffish/cold resting b#tch face contentious "You just can't handle me"
Thank you for pointing out the importance of attitude for both men and women. In all social interactions I have had with people that met in a competitive environment I have found historically that the people that are the most skilled or “highest value” are generally also the most humble, most helpful, and most fun to be around. They don’t need to brag about how good they are or why you should want to be around them they are simply focused on doing their best and helping others to realize their own potential because they don’t perceive lifting someone else up as creating competition or resulting in something that will threaten their own self-worth.
Also, important point, men may lust after a beautiful woman but that is often not enough for them to commit to a relationship with that woman. It is important to note the difference between temporary interest/infatuation and actual long-term attraction.
Agree with the attitude as well. Generally speaking all what have you told Courtney can be used for either women, and either men as well. I can agree that education is important as well (mostly, let's say it that way), but like you have told, Courtney, the important things is what people have in head, and in heart as well. Also what is important as well is social intelligence, and knowledge as well. I have heard few quotes as well somewhere as well and some of them I have mentioned in one of your videos as well. And they go like this: 1. Robin Williams once told this: "It's not the worst thing in your life when you are alone. The worst thing is when you are in society that makes you feel lonely." 2. Vladeta Jerotic (you can find about that person on internet if you are interested) once told this: "The people that like being alone (or single), are those people who paying a big price spending their presence in their life." 3. Patriarch Paul (you can find about that person on internet if you are interested) once told this: " Everyone wonders how to be special person, and no one wants to be an ordinary person. And being ordinary person is achieved only by special people." 4. Patriarch Paul also told one thing as well: "It will be better, when we are feeling better."
I'm 66yo and widowed 4 years. Tried the dating sh*t show. I'm looking at the sunset years of my life. I stopped trying to find a woman who I might be happy with. I'm doing things that do make me happy. I haven't ruled out a relationship, but see no reason to spend what's left of my life chasing shadows.
Same situation but 3 years younger. Dated 30 women over a year and a half. 5 were still married and living with husbands but were not up front with this, a third were political hacks and my political views were not in alignment, a third had been in severely abusive relationships and were hard to get close to, and the others did not appreciate how non-materialistic I was, eg too poor for them. Have decided to simply find someone organically by chance while out doing the things I love.
Your videos are a godsend. It's nice to hear the opinions of a put together woman that is really trying to just help men figure this stuff out. More women should watch your channel as well. Dropping pearls of wisdom without the need for clickbait and drama. Thank you for what you do, Courtney.
@courneyryan, My teenage daughter found your channel recently, and she realized that all I've been trying to communicate to her in her best interest. Thank you for your great but simple video talking about very important issues.
Hi Courtney, thank you for this video because it does explain a lot to what men look for in a woman. For example my ex is all that you're explaining a bad attitude, boss babe, has a degree and makes more money....etc.. Yet it doesn't explain how she treated me or other people around her the only thing there is left that I can explain that she wasn't happy with herself with an attitude like that one could never be in a positive relationship. So coming back is to what you're saying that men want women with an amazing attitude and that's loving not just to themselves but to their partner. There is a song written by a female group by GRL called "ugly heart" exactly what you're expanding. Thank you Courtney Ryan for sharing this video I love your content im always interested to see what videos you have on next. It definitely helps me date nicer women with more love in their heart and a kinder attitude. ✌️❤️
Too many people are concerned with how to make themselves happy. In a relationship your only goal should be how to make your partner happy. If a man's existence is try to love his wife his wife won't be disappointed if a wife's goal is to respect her husband and build his ego/esteem, he won't be disappointed either
Younger women are unrealistic what they want in a relationship like 6 feet tall and make over 100k. Some of us women don't really know what we want in a relationship until some bad relationship.
Money, status and power is what ladies believe allows them to control other people. If they can control others they don't have to do their inner work to control themselves. Calling people intimidated and insecure is her wanting you to feel that way because it makes her hurt a little less for a short time
ooh, you hit on a good point!! Women are the worst to work with and they tend to be very arrogant, so I think you're on the money here, they get to exercise their unhealthy need for control, seen it time and time again!
Pretty accurate for most women unfortunately. Similar to a child, whatever lets them get away from the uncomfortable responsibilities in life they'll dive headlong into, like inner improvement and getting over the past and their imperfections. No need to improve or admit flaws when everyone is perceived as under your thumb.
Men are concerned about her past and might decide how his future is with her. Men care about how pure she is and innocents. They don't want a women who has been with a lot of men.
Hey Courtney, can you make a video on the "trad wife" trend? I just heard about this last week and the discussion around it has been... interesting, to say the least...
The coolest woman I ever dated on a dating app was someone who, ahem, didn't have any education past high school, worked in hospital billing and (wait for it) even spent a week in prison. When she shared of her time in prison she talked about the positives and how she made the best of it which actually made for some really interesting story telling. We were SO different but despite all of this we had so much to talk about. We started a Spotify playlist together, talked about concerts we'd been to, shared pictures of our Doc Marten's amid other 90s pop culture stuff to which we had an affinity. She had an amazing attitude, she was SO respectful and authentic too. Ultimately, we wanted it to work out but the physical attraction just wasn't clicking.... at all. For men, yes, attraction is important. However, I for one time in my life felt a strong emotional attraction to someone with whom I really wasn't physically attracted purely on account of just how awesome of a human they were. It sucks because the strongest physical attraction I feel is often with woman who bring none of what she brought which has me questioning whether the problem in my dating life is purely rooted in myself alone. Maybe that's where I need to put the attention for awhile.
I have 4 sisters, they don’t cook, or sew or do anything you would consider “womanly” . In fact the are loud and over talk you. ( you get loud they get louder) . It is obnoxious to be around them. This is why they are single.
I don’t care if the mother of my children has a college degree or a HS diploma, is she kind? How does she treat her mother and my mother? How does she treat children who aren’t hers? Does she make good chili? I don’t care if she has a job, prefer her to be at home.
I agree with your fiancé about your career. My ex wife hated her job(s) for most of our marriage and woman who has to work, but hates what she does is a miserable creature and will make everyone else around them miserable too.
There isn't much to add to Courtney's good analysis. Single, professional women would be better served if they adopted a supportive attitude upon entering any serious relationship. It really is the basis of a successful marriage. My wife and I would never have gotten as far as we have if we hadn't been so supportive of each other. I was there every step of the way as she endeavored to earn her CPA, while she reciprocated by supporting me as I worked toward my professional certification and built my business. Men, in large part, are simply looking for a woman who'll be personally supportive of their endeavors and appreciate them as people. Marriage can be highly empowering and very enriching if you're both willing to work as a team, but it takes humility, a good attitude and a strong work ethic on everyone's part to succeed.
Totally agree. It's important that a woman is more than just a pretty face. Ability to carry a conversation is a big one for me, as well as a sense of humor. I had the unwelcome task of working with a woman to edit her book for publication. Right away, her attitude put me off. Treated me like I was five, like I was stupid, thought her shit didn't stink because she was attorney. So yeah, that kind of an attitude in a woman I was dating would definitely put me off.
I mostly agree with you Courtney. 🙏 In terms of a woman having a career or a successful career, some men do care. A good portion of men. However in that portion of men, some men may care about it because they are receiving comments or questions from their female family members or "friends". I think that some men care about status and what impression is being given. In my case... My dear man just wants me to do something that makes me happy. It doesn't matter what it is (in reasonable terms). The doctors have signed me off sick whilst I'm pregnant at the moment. I've received criticism from women about not working but I haven't received criticism from men. They just accept it.
Hi. Man here. I am not actively seeking a relationship or even making myself visible in the dating space. I do not care about occupation. I mainly prioritize 3 main attributes: Attitude, Hobbies, and her friends. There’s a saying. Tell me who your friends are, and i’ll tell you who you are. If she’s showing a good attitude, but her friends are negative, angry, and spiteful, I’m going to think that the woman I’m in a relationship with is not being genuine with me, and it’s going to make me more cynical about her intent due to the company she keeps. I would expect likewise of her if my friends were sleeping around, being annoying, and an altogether disruptive nuisance. It’s about respect, trust, and mutual interest.
I had a past girfriend who told me she did not care what I did for a living, or what kind of place I was living in, so long as I was with her. And, she was one of the classiest hip, smart woman I have met. She was 7 years older than me, but at the age of 23, it didn't deter me from living with her for 3 years.
I have a few thoughts-one about education, another about core values, and one about beauty. Concerning education, I never understood how anyone could be arrogant about having X degree(s) from Y school(s). We had a pithy little saying at my childhood home that went: the more I learn, the less I know. HOW TRUE! The more I've learned about anything, the dumber and more ignorant I feel. Hence, education and learning have tended to humble me. I feel good about having learned or accomplished something, but then I feel humble after realizing that there's a lot more to learn. Sharing core values is a MUST! That cannot be overstated for having a substantive, fulfilling, and long lasting relationship. The physical is only one dimension; there are also the mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of a relationship, and those are what will carry a relationship long term. Finally, when it comes to beauty, a hot body, etc., I won't lie; I enjoy all the above like any guy does. However, I grew up and lived near the Jersey Shore, so beautiful gals aren't that special to me; I used to see 'em by the thousands during any given summer. A nice face or hot body will catch my eye, but keeping it will require depth, substance, and an overall good personality. A beautiful woman with an ugly personality looks ugly to me. Conversely, an average woman with a nice personality enhances her looks, and she's more appealing to me.
Courtney again 100% correct .........Μen do not want a toxic or dysfunctional relationship....Men want calm cuddly and a lovable partner that will make them just happy .....simple as that.......
Great advise. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself, because that’s what enables every other relationship in your life to thrive 🙌🏻
i had a date the other night. the woman was touching my arm nonstop and giving me flirty puppy dog eyes. i felt like there was great chemistry between us. she even texted me 10 min after the date to tell me she had fun. then the next day i asked her out for a 2nd date and she said she felt no chemistry and wished me well. i wasnt happy about this. in fact i was traumatized because she sent me mixed signals and i was so convinced she was into me. She is a 50 yr old woman who was married for 24 years , has 3 older kids and had a rebound relationship after her divorce so i thought i was dealing with a mature person. i called her out on this and she denied giving me mixed signals.
Trust your instincts on this one. Sounds like she's playing games. Maybe wants to know she's "still got it"? Maybe she's lying and actually still married (ie. looking for attention and validation irl, without actually cheating). Or... perhaps she's hoping that you won't take no for an answer and thus chase her. Regardless... avoid this woman at all costs. Methinks you dodged a bullet.
Totally agree! I would add also that I am looking for discipline and consistency in a woman. With all the work and help provided from myself and cleaning crews for housings, pets, fishponds, cars and stuff even with my help a household life is tough and not all the times help will be at hand.
Hey Courtney, do you think this Is this mainly an American dating cultural problem? Should I expand into foreign territory? Would you if you could hypothetically invite some people from other countries onto your show or a video to see if there are contrasting differences in opinion? Would be interesting to see!
I'm of a Japanese heritage but I studied a lot of psychology and cultural diversity in college. I wouldn't say American problem but it is a Western ideology problem. Modern feminism has gone past the point of equality to overempowerment or abuse. A woman can be strong independent loud and belittling and these are seen as good traits, but these are not desirable traits for most men. Ambitious, strong, independent, financially stable are to a woman what submissive, obedient, supportive, and respectful are to a man.
@@elliptical29 It seems like culture goes from Europe to America over the course of several years, then Australia trails American culture by roughly a year.
Thank you Courtney for sharing this. When I was single and heard women say "I don't need a stupid man" then I always took it as a license to walk away.
This all goes both ways. You need to be a man who doesn’t yell, belittle, or play games with a woman. You need to be truthful, supportive, and bring peace to her life. If you both behave that way you can start to build trust in each other. Just sayin’…
I am a man in my mid 50's and have known countless men from a pretty broad spectrum of society and I can honestly say that not one of them have ever been "intimidated" by a woman, in a way that these women claim they are (men can be anxious or apprehensive about approaching a woman initially, but that is a totally different thing). Also, yes, good men want women of substance (ie. integrity and intellect...vacuous bimbo's need not apply regardless of any other qualities they may have) for a life partner. Love your video's . Cheers!
Good, smart clip and great analysis. Well done, Courtney (and the other woman in the video). A person's looks mean nothing without the substance to back them up.
I have never been intimidated by a woman after the age of 17. I can't imagine a strong successful man in his thirties being intimidated by a woman. Not sure where they got this.
As a single man i want to tell you you are correct in your observations in this video. Men want a woman they can talk with about anything who is trustworthy and who is respectful. The whole " men are intimidated by me " attitude misses the point - they are really just turned off by the narcissism
I hear all the time that men are intimidated by strong women. Actually, it isn't a woman's strength that bothers us, it is her domineering, controlling, and nasty behavior that puts us off.
You are 100% right. They are nut strong, just annoying. It is so easy to claim to be strong when you're drowning in a luxury overdose and everything is just one swipe or button press away. The second hardship comes all these women fade away.
These single women acting like boss babes and they don't need no man garbage that is why they are single. That tik-tok video is amazing. Courtney you bring life lessons to single men. Thank you
Great video! In addition to an overall "bad attitude", I would add that being competitive, non-agreeable, nagging, and preachy are also very unappealing traits in women. Some women are also completely unaware of what it takes for a man to be successful, build a business, and create wealth. This lack of awareness or entitlement is also a turnoff. It is shocking to me how many physically attractive and "successful" women have no clue what their ideal man actually wants. They are often focusing on traits that are turning men away, and not making them more attractive.
The real world never cares how smart, talented or great looking you are if you don't show respect for other people. I am looking for a woman who I think will make a good wife and mother one day. Those traits are what matter to me.
I don't think this is talked about enough. Even in the Bible it NEVER says for a wife to love her husband. Men do not need love like a woman does. However, it does say for wives to respect their husbands. Man need respect and esteem. It tells husbands to love their wives, which is what women generally need
So, women are just objects to you? what if she is smart, talented and respects other people? Women have a lot more to offer than being housewives and mothers all the time.
Well said Courtney! This same exact thing happened to me and I told her she could let me go if she wanted to go out again to let me know cause I'm not pursuing
So true. The sad thing is some women will work SO hard on gaining qualities men do not care about when any woman can build the qualities we do care about. And my experience is when they do they are quickly snatched off the market. A man can't easily become a millionaire with lots of degrees and accomplishments, but any woman can cultivate a good attitude, peace, etc.
I have to admit your my favourite content creator for advice to men and putting this into prospective for women without being toxic. The type of women I dated when I was in my teens and early 20s are quiet different to the type of women I would date now long term. As someone who earns decent money even when I didn't have much money I was not attracted to rich or successful women as I value other qualities far more.
1:57 I'd disagree with the statement that men don't care how much money woman makes. Not in the 21st century consumer economy. The days of 1960s when a family could sustain itself on single-adult income are long gone.
Hello Courtney. The chief reason I love watching your channel is your equity, and it's great to see you model this quality as an example of what I'd look for most in a woman. Thanks for that and keep up the great work.👌
I dated a woman like this for several weeks. She told me that most men she dates are intimidated by her. When we parted, I told her I, and likely some of the other men, are not intimidated by her success. It's the attitude she developed in becoming successful. She became masculine and the Tate kind of masculine, the kind that men don't even like to be around in other men.
You are right. I want someone who has her life together because that shows me that she is less likely to ruin my life. She knows how the world works and if she’s a troublemaker. No way. I want peace. I don’t want someone to “put up with”. I wants someone I can enjoy. Laugh with. Share with. Live with and it’s an easy thing (no nothing is always easy but if it’s the norm then great. If is common to be hard. I’m out)
Great insights Courtney 👍. Most men aren't attracted to or interested by these attraction cues such as money, career, or social standing. These are attraction cues for many women.
My wife made more, very high up in corporate and I was a plant worker. Levels are iffy for me but she was very respectful and loving and always have a mild spirit. I think all of this stuff social media especially about levels, education and whatever is like something for the new generation a handicap. I live in a neighborhood that many of us men would not be on the same level as some of our wives, especially starting out. I think it's a thing that is taught that blinds women and make it hard for them to be content or find healthy relationships. If everyone is running to achieve as individuals in a family setting I tell you sooner or later most will crumble. Our goals are our goals but our family should be our priority.
The Friends chart that says it all about women: It's not you - It IS you I feel so safe around you - You will NEVER see me naked. You're so nice - I'll be dating alcoholic bikers who abuse me and complain about them, to YOU! We should see other people - HA HA I already am.
Courtney straight on point. 50% is physical attraction, 50% attitude. If the man find things that don't like in the attitude, for the woman it is far worse than to be not attractive physically. This because a physically unattractive woman can be a very good friend if she is a good person and you go along, but at the opposite if she looks good, but the attitude is off than she will be a one night stand at best. Off or not likeable attitude is not neccessary bad behaviour, it is simple not attractive and that's it. No person make friend someone who's attitude don't like
The foundations of your statements are completely true Mrs. Ryan, I got to say I am pleased to see a kind woman finally comprehends that not all dudes are money and bimbo chasers. Even alpha guys care if a woman has a bad attitude and depending on the type of guy, that attitude will only be tolerated to a point. Even desperate men will step away because of it.
This one dude gave me a good analogy. He basically said something or someone can be a brownie mix with a small piece of poop in it. Even though more than 90% of the brownie mix is normal brownie mix, that little pebble of poop can mess up the entire mix.
Well said Courtney! I certainly cannot speak for all men, but I can honestly say that I am looking first and foremost a girl who loves Christ and secondly a girl who is easy to get along with. Drama, a selfish attitude and negative attitude are all traits that turn me off a girl in a heartbeat.
Men want peace…….peace of mind. It’s what everyone should want…….not chaos/drama.
Men want women easy-on-the-eyes easy on the ears and easy on the soul. Can a girl look good, be nice, and be supportive and respectful?
Chaos and drama is what children are for. ;)
@@peterkottke2570 Met too many women who love causing chaos and drama though
Highly agree! What men really want is peace and consolation. 'The one thing' and good food is just another way of consolation... in a life full of hard efforts and fighting on the professional front.
AMEN BROTHER
I like when women put that "men are intimidated by me" belief right out the window, and call out other women who think that.
but that statement isn't wrong. we definitely are intimidated by toxic women, they can always accuse us of some false shit and we might have to pay for it in court for years. some men even suicide.
Ok, I got to admit the Cristiane Justino Venâncio ("Cris Cyborg") would probably intimidate me. A woman with 12 PHDs and a CEO of 10 companies wouldn't.
I agree, but I suppose there are different types of intimidation. I'm certainly not physically intimidated. But a man that has any functioning brain cells SHOULD be afraid of the destruction these women are capable of in your life.
@@sanketvaria9734 That's not intimidation. That's mistrust and disgust. It's not the same thing.
@Sanket Varia
I would posit that we aren't intimidated by toxic women, we simply don't like them. I find that whole "Boss Bitch" attitude disgusting.
The most common excuse women say is, "He's afraid of me, because I am a strong and independent woman." Lol.😅
Yeah .. it’s hard to admit to being a pain in the ass lol.
If a man wanted someone strong and independent he would marry another man
@@rainyriderr1112 That's a ridiculous thing to say. And the fact that it got 3 thumbs up instantly sums up the mindset of this comment section.
@@rainyriderr1112 Wrong! American guys just cannot handle strong and independent women like they are here in Europe and certainly in Scandinavia. Us vikings expect a woman to be able to handle herself, have an education, an independent life and a career. :D
That's just an excuse they use to have bad behavior
I recently rejected a woman who got frustrated over the fact that I didn't ask her more about her occupation, despite acknowledging it earlier, and just wanted to know more about who _she_ was --- *as a person!*
A woman can work at a checkout for all I care. I want to build an _emotional_ connection.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet, don't sweat it.
On to the next
Even Shido approves!
But occupation also says alot of who you are.
Did you ask her any questions about herself? Or did you talk the whole time?
It’s funny. They get frustrated when we say we don’t care about your career, but in the same breath, they say “my money is my money” “your money is our money”.
It's terrible to have to explain these things to grownups. I have a couple kids and I try to teach them to be respectful and not be gloating when they win or a sore loser when they lose. It goes the same for everything in life. Humility is a virtue everyone needs to have.
Unfortunately I’m one of those grownups, my coworker was super kind invited me to a BBQ event and rather than saying unfortunately I’m busy, I shared the truth which is I’m leaving for a vacation and I’d rather be there than the BBQ. WTF is won’t wrong with me, that’s messed up for me to say that.
@@cosmonucleus7076 well that was not a great response but hey, at least you recognize you messed up! There's tons of people who wouldn't even make that connection in their head. Own up to it, apologize for having a brain fart, and hope they forgive you.
Millennials with humility…good luck finding that.
@@TOhara-eb2lp technically I'm a millennial, i was born in the 80's. You talking millennial/gen x, or gen Y or Z?
@Cosmos nothing wrong with saying you've booked a vacation, well before you knew about the invite. It's the "I'd rather be there than with you" which you should have shut up about.
Women, you need to hear this...most men don't give a shit about your Master's degree. At least not when it comes to dating and marriage. They want a woman that is kind, loving, supportive, good with kids, clean, and takes good care of herself. Hobbies are great! A high end career in which she won't be able to raise the kids? Not so much
I found one that brings up our advanced degrees so much. I don't mention the MBA much because I just feel like it's a degree both me and my best friend got. Hobbies and temperament are super important. I met my partner before he had any degrees though, I think I had my BA when I met him. It was pretty expected that I go and get these degrees though.
Turns out they didn't listen
It's because women project their dating preferences (high salary, educated, etc.) onto men, while in reality, men hardly take these traits in consideration because we generally don't mind being providers for what we judge to be a good woman, the contrary rarely applies.
I think real intelligence in a woman is hot, but not an education, if you can understand what I mean.
More women need to watch this video and take accountability. Most women today seem allergic to accountability.
Agreed, even if the audience is for men, I like to check myself and my attitude in this channel! 😂
@@anitadarling4592 If you’re not already married, someone needs to marry you now!
@@jasonanthonyschultz5672 lol, i also think like Anita. I like to watch videos geared towards men to learn about their dynamics etc. sadly all the men i meet just want to sleep around.
@@Rinniantoinette You’re looking in the wrong places, or you’re only attracted to the kind of guys that sleep around
Not the women I know here in the UK. Lots of them are nurses, and they're accountable for every small thing all day every day.
If a woman thinks that just because she has a Masters or Doctorate's degree that it gives her the right to have a bad attitude, that is the definition of a woman with no substance. Her saying "A man of substance will always care what you've done with your life because you're going to be the mother to his children" is dead on accurate because a woman who has accomplished great things while also having a great attitude and zest for life is someone who will instill those traits in her children which is what any man of substance would love to have.
That’s the same kind of woman whom wants your tax money when she’s 55 and spent her fortune on her degree, handbags, Mercedes, and trips to Malta.
Let them starve.
I don’t care about academic achievements, those usually lead to lose morality and a high body count…
I don't care about academics or career, just want a loyal sensible feminine woman
When I'm looking for a mother to my children? Academic achievement means zero. Many people I've met with degrees, even from prestigious schools, are some of the most common sense lacking people I've ever met. Men have chosen women they liked for all of human history without a college degree as a prerequisite. They're trying to demand we put more emphasis on it because THEY care about it.
Nothing turns me on more than a masters degree 😂😂
Courtney’s becoming a national treasure for us men… :)
Sooo thankful to be getting married next month. Dating life looks miserable compared to how I remember.
You and me both 😅
These “thank goodness I’m not dating anymore” comments are not helpful.
@@ryecatcher25 I would be prepared to get married but have her grave readily dug in a remote place just in case.
@@ryecatcher25Entirely untrue. If you wanted to prove your point, just show what most of the “red pill” channels show of people spewing vitriol and toxicity. This “thank goodness I’m not dating anymore, I’m married/engaged” nonsense is just people bragging.
Congrats! On your 50% chance.
"Men are intimidated by me" = massive female cope
Her personality, morals, past, looks, and interests/hobbies all matter far more than her occupation.
Unrealistic expectations. The grass is greener on the other side because it’s covered in 🐂 💩 Thank you for all that you do Courtney. For many of us you are the little sister we never had. Much appreciated.
The biggest anti-male discrimination campaign post black slavery in this country.
I have spent a long time now studying relationship psychology, some neurology, and related things as hobby and can say this video is has a a lot of good information in it. I think my favorite part is about how a lot of Women tend to confuse what they want in a man with they think men want in a partner.
I want a woman that does not use instagram.
I have a BA and an MA. Some of the stupidist people I've met were educated. I'll take an uneducated intelligent woman with practical skills any day of the week.
I met my wife of 20 years the year before she went to medical school. I proposed to her bc she checked all the boxes. Yes, her being a doctor is a plus but it wouldn't have mattered. She enjoys her work and it helps that she's satisfied. It shows through in her home life with our family.
Shes in medical, is that who you get your testosterone from haha
@@sloanmagnum5009 right lol. I go to our family doctor for that. Get my labs done every 6-9 months too.
@paul hessler indeed. What I was drawn to, unlike most 21yo girls, was her ability to have a great intellectual conversation while identifying with my conservative values and frugal financial practice. The doctor thing was just a bonus. What I always tried to find out from girls I was interested in dating was, what was their relationship like with their parents and siblings, credit score/financial mindset, and their values. That would give me an up front indication if she was wife material or not.
Honestly- and partially because you touched upon this point- many of us who aren't solely after sexual satisfaction mostly prefer the partners we share our lives with to be able to be comfortable in who they are. Not to be comfortable with putting up the facade of a bitchy additude whenever it pleases them, but to be able to genuinely be themselves. Many of us may not agree with who they are at first, but love doesn't always come fast like a boiling pot, sometimes it comes slow like a simmering pan. What matters then is how much patience you have and how much criticism you can take to help you work on yourself.
A pot of water will boil a lot slower than a pan of water will simmer. I couldn’t ignore this 😂
If you mean love is like a slow braise, not a fast sear, that may be a better cooking analogy
most of the bitchy women I have met, that was the true them
An emotionally mature woman who is brave enough to trust me. A woman who doesn't feel sorry for me but rather tries to understand and encourage me when I have problems. A woman that is as positive as I am and looks forward rather than backward at life and it's trials. Also confident enough to not need anyone else's validation except from her family and me of course.
That's what I want.
Her: "I don't need a man."
Men: "Perfect. Goodbye."
Her, 10 years later: "Where are all the good men?"
Courtney is so correct in what she says. Men have come to realize that too many women bring too much drama and expense to a relationship. No thanks, we’d rather stay single.
What I dont like is being held to a different standard because im not a loser. I broke up with a recent girl because she was trying to get me to jump through stupid hoops when her prior relationship with a broke ass pookie, she gave him everything for nothing. Why would I put up with that disrespect?
I had an ex that wanted to go out all the time and go on holidays, i wanted to but it is not realistic to needlessly spend like that. The next guy she got with gave into her demands and they went many places while posting it everywhere on social media, they lasted just over a year before she dumped him. Pretty glad i stood my ground.
I think my grandfather put it best when I asked him as a teenager what to look out for in a partner.
He told me to find someone you are grateful to wake up next to in the morning.
He was married to my grandmother for over 60 years when he passed in 2013.
I think that is the main problem with dating nowadays. People aren’t very grateful for what they have. They always think “the grass is greener on the other side”. Everyone needs to just step back and be happy to be with someone who loves them.
@@aidey8mph605 Yep, everybody's just trying to one-up themselves all the time. Nobody is ever just happy with what they have, they constantly want more and better.
Your grandfather was a wise man. Bless him.
Personality will always be a big factor. You can be the richest person in the world, but if you have a big ego, that won’t blossom a relationship or any ships for that matter.
You will NEVER become rich or have succes in anything in this world unless you have a huge ego, so much that you are a pain in the a*s to be around, even for your closest friends and family. ;)
It's nice to hear someone mention that being personally fulfilled makes you a better partner. that's common sense that has become less common over time.
Just found this channel and I have to say, Courtney is one badass individual. She's got a great moral and ethical compass, understands the importance of accountability for both men and women, and recognizes the significance of unifying as a people for a common goal or idea.
She's one cool gal.
Yeah tbh, my ex was like this once she got that fancy job at IBM and I was working at a nice modest company nothing fancy but making money to support both of us and whatever. She got nasty and was a pain to deal with. Broke up with me 2 weeks later she's dating some financial guy from her friend group im like cool. She still tries to stalk me and see how I'm doing because it makes her happy when I'm doing bad, unfortunately, yeah I'm not so she absolutely hates me. Now she's trying to stalk me near my work because of her new job and is gonna look for me I'm like we are 26 please grow up
Single woman here. I don’t think men are intimidated by a woman with an education or a well paying career. I think the issue is the attitude that often accompanies the education and career.
I can’t speak for all women. I can only speak for myself.
I have dated two men within the past five years. Neither one had a college degree. Neither one had a job or career that required a college degree.
I’m a teacher, so I have a college degree, as well as post graduate studies. I make decent money.
My college degree rarely came up as a topic of discussion. I’m not sure if I ever told either one of them what my degree is. I dated one man for one year and the other man for three years. Why didn’t my degree come up? It wasn’t part of our conversations. If our conversations weren’t about college, it wasn’t going to come up as a topic.
My salary also never came up. It wasn’t important. Both men felt very strongly that men are financial providers. They paid for our dates when we went out. I didn’t complain about where we went. I always said thank you for the dates. I always told them that I had a great time. I always reciprocated in some way, usually with a meal or some homemade treats. A random gift would also make an appearance.
One of the best pieces of dating advice I learned came from Patti Stanger’s book Become Your Own Matchmaker. She asked one of her male matchmaking clients what he wants from a woman when they’re on a date. His words? Show up, smell good, and smile. That’s easy for me.
Courtney, you are right that both partners should be looking for people of substance to date. In order to do that, we need to make sure that we are people of substance.
As a single woman, I appreciate your videos. Too many people in the dating space group all single women into one toxic group, even if we’re not toxic. It’s even worse if you’re a single mother, like I am.
Thanks for another great video.
I have no problem with people replying or asking questions. If you choose to do so, please be respectful. Thank you.
Good points. The concern is that data shows the more education a woman has the more likely she is to divorce a man.
@@davidroberts9099 so there's a direct positive correlation between education and common sense. I'm not sure why you're seeking to frame either education or women choosing to not remain in unhappy marriages as bad things. Yes, divorce can be a difficult and unhappy process, particularly for any children involved, but no one should ever have to feel trapped or compelled to remain in a relationship that isn't working for them. I have both male and female friends who've been through the process, none enjoyed it but all are now happier because they did it, even if they regret that it had to happen.
Ma,am, i just wanted to say how good it made me feel to actually read a properly written comment. Of course, you being a teacher. 😁
But still, judging ones proper use of simple grammar and sentence structure is an easy way to tell a person's level of intelligence. I want others to take note! Absolutely wonderful! Thank you.
Sincerely....a random single Montana rancher/cowboy.
@@SkuzzelB8 Thank you.😊
Current girlfriend is a second grade teacher with a Masters degree. Kind, loving, appreciative, attractive. Not one bit of poor attitude. A keeper.
what happens if she quits, goes to a coding bootcamp and starts earning north of $150k?
@@Chi_di as long as she’s still kind, loving, appreciate & attractive im sure he’ll be fine with it. Did you miss the point of the video? Lol.
@Chidi uhhh she's not gonna do that stay your ass away
@@IEdjumacate I didn't miss the point of the video. But I'm questioning if the commenters on here did. They are speaking as if it's a virtue that the women they deal with make humble salaries. A good woman is a good woman with our without a large salary.
@@Chi_di do you even know computer science noob?
Courtney, I've noticed that there are many reasons a woman might want a man in her life and it often has nothing to do with the man himself. Some women let their mothering-instinct make that decision and so they bring a child-man into their life to boss around. Some women confuse their need for safety and let their fear bring a man into their life and so they treat him like a dog or pet. I just posted a short 2 minute video on age-gap relationships which really ties in nicely with this one. Curious what you think of my hypothesis (in the vid and this comment).
She said my thoughts exactly. As that accomplished guy with friends who are also accomplished, there's nothing more annoying to us than someone who makes their career/accomplishments their entire personality. Yes I want a woman who is educated and has skills that say she didn't make it through life on the charity of others... I also want her to be fun to be around. The "boss diva" chick is NOT fun to be around. Trust me. I dated one.
Agree, but you also correctly pointed out that an accomplished person is important. These types of channels constantly say that men don't care about her career, she can be a waitress or barista. Not my woman. Did that shit when I was younger and there's no long term future when one party has no earning potential and your entire future is dependent upon you. If you plan that, for her to be a house wife, fine. But In my 40s, nope. I want a self sufficient woman who can contribute to our future at least a little bit.
@@Swearengen1980 very much agree from personal experience. The first woman I dated a call center woman. While sweet, I can tell she'd have been more a burden as I'd have been over most of the household chores. No thanks. While I've run into my share of accomplished women who can't adult worth a damn, they've been few and far in between fortunately.
@@Fenrir190 I really haven't had encounters with accomplished women who weren't also well organized in their personal lives as well. My conflict was their arrogance over having a PhD or Masters and how they were better than me because they were "educated" and also very liberal. Each of those 4 or 5 women who got snotty with me, I absolutely embarrassed in our debate, proving a degree doesn't mean shit as far as intelligence. And once they had proved themselves to be "one of those", I always liked to end with, "You have a mountain of student debt; I have none and make double what you do. Which one of us is stupid?". But that's really not a slam on successful women, it's just the way left wing "academic" types are. Just terrible people.
@@Swearengen1980 the woman I'm with now cosigns that all of that 🙃😂
Educated doesn't mean intelligent. It means you managed to sit in a class and regurgitate information. I know a number of guys who got degrees as a formality. They already knew the info better than the average person. Yeah man I've got stories for days over years of dating. Let's hope things go the distance with this new woman I'm with 🙃
Who would want to be in a relationship with someone with a confrontational personality?
I’ve known people like this. They argue and fight constantly. It almost becomes the basis of their relationship. Eventually, most break up.
This message applies universally. Man or Woman. Be a person of substance, your accomplishments are awesome...don't turn into them.
Well said! No one likes an arrogant person
Thank you especially to man, they thin no woman can regret them because they got money🤣🤣
My girlfriend has a PhD. I value her emotional maturity every bit as much as her intellect or her accomplishments.
Nuff said.
I assume you had to ask her out and hit on her
What we men like:
smiling
warm
approachable
intelligent
good values
strength of character
What we men hate:
bad attitude
standoffish/cold
resting b#tch face
contentious
"You just can't handle me"
Thank you for pointing out the importance of attitude for both men and women. In all social interactions I have had with people that met in a competitive environment I have found historically that the people that are the most skilled or “highest value” are generally also the most humble, most helpful, and most fun to be around. They don’t need to brag about how good they are or why you should want to be around them they are simply focused on doing their best and helping others to realize their own potential because they don’t perceive lifting someone else up as creating competition or resulting in something that will threaten their own self-worth.
Also, important point, men may lust after a beautiful woman but that is often not enough for them to commit to a relationship with that woman. It is important to note the difference between temporary interest/infatuation and actual long-term attraction.
Agree with the attitude as well. Generally speaking all what have you told Courtney can be used for either women, and either men as well. I can agree that education is important as well (mostly, let's say it that way), but like you have told, Courtney, the important things is what people have in head, and in heart as well. Also what is important as well is social intelligence, and knowledge as well.
I have heard few quotes as well somewhere as well and some of them I have mentioned in one of your videos as well. And they go like this:
1. Robin Williams once told this: "It's not the worst thing in your life when you are alone. The worst thing is when you are in society that makes you feel lonely."
2. Vladeta Jerotic (you can find about that person on internet if you are interested) once told this: "The people that like being alone (or single), are those people who paying a big price spending their presence in their life."
3. Patriarch Paul (you can find about that person on internet if you are interested) once told this: " Everyone wonders how to be special person, and no one wants to be an ordinary person. And being ordinary person is achieved only by special people."
4. Patriarch Paul also told one thing as well: "It will be better, when we are feeling better."
I'm 66yo and widowed 4 years. Tried the dating sh*t show. I'm looking at the sunset years of my life. I stopped trying to find a woman who I might be happy with. I'm doing things that do make me happy. I haven't ruled out a relationship, but see no reason to spend what's left of my life chasing shadows.
My condolences. Some women your age will be looking for a man with a good pension, and not a soul-mate. Stay strong, brother.
Same situation but 3 years younger. Dated 30 women over a year and a half. 5 were still married and living with husbands but were not up front with this, a third were political hacks and my political views were not in alignment, a third had been in severely abusive relationships and were hard to get close to, and the others did not appreciate how non-materialistic I was, eg too poor for them. Have decided to simply find someone organically by chance while out doing the things I love.
Women in your age bracket are looking for a retirement plan. BEWARE!
Your videos are a godsend. It's nice to hear the opinions of a put together woman that is really trying to just help men figure this stuff out. More women should watch your channel as well. Dropping pearls of wisdom without the need for clickbait and drama. Thank you for what you do, Courtney.
This is so kind. Thanks for making me smile today! Appreciate it 🤗
Common Courtney W
@courneyryan, My teenage daughter found your channel recently, and she realized that all I've been trying to communicate to her in her best interest.
Thank you for your great but simple video talking about very important issues.
No man ever put his hand up a woman’s dress looking for a college degree. -Joan Rivers
Hi Courtney, thank you for this video because it does explain a lot to what men look for in a woman. For example my ex is all that you're explaining a bad attitude, boss babe, has a degree and makes more money....etc.. Yet it doesn't explain how she treated me or other people around her the only thing there is left that I can explain that she wasn't happy with herself with an attitude like that one could never be in a positive relationship. So coming back is to what you're saying that men want women with an amazing attitude and that's loving not just to themselves but to their partner. There is a song written by a female group by GRL called "ugly heart" exactly what you're expanding. Thank you Courtney Ryan for sharing this video I love your content im always interested to see what videos you have on next. It definitely helps me date nicer women with more love in their heart and a kinder attitude. ✌️❤️
Too many people are concerned with how to make themselves happy. In a relationship your only goal should be how to make your partner happy. If a man's existence is try to love his wife his wife won't be disappointed if a wife's goal is to respect her husband and build his ego/esteem, he won't be disappointed either
Younger women are unrealistic what they want in a relationship like 6 feet tall and make over 100k. Some of us women don't really know what we want in a relationship until some bad relationship.
I think 15% of men are over 6 ft, and only about 20% of men make six figures. To find both is under 3%, to find both under the age of 30 is under 1%
When they hit their 30's they want a nice guy.
And they spend 18- 30 ruining men.
@@dobermanownerforlife3902 destroying lives left and right and not care in the world.
So are young men.
Money, status and power is what ladies believe allows them to control other people. If they can control others they don't have to do their inner work to control themselves. Calling people intimidated and insecure is her wanting you to feel that way because it makes her hurt a little less for a short time
ooh, you hit on a good point!! Women are the worst to work with and they tend to be very arrogant, so I think you're on the money here, they get to exercise their unhealthy need for control, seen it time and time again!
Pretty accurate for most women unfortunately. Similar to a child, whatever lets them get away from the uncomfortable responsibilities in life they'll dive headlong into, like inner improvement and getting over the past and their imperfections. No need to improve or admit flaws when everyone is perceived as under your thumb.
You nailed it . That’s exactly what I want as a man.
Men are concerned about her past and might decide how his future is with her. Men care about how pure she is and innocents. They don't want a women who has been with a lot of men.
Men create their value while woman preserve theirs
Feminine, Fit, Friendly, Fertile.... and Loyal.
That's what men want.
Faithful is the word you're looking for, to complete the five f's... 304s get the other five f's...
@@josherickson9514 Yes, of course, also: low body count!
@@THX5000 that would be part of the feminine trait. High body count is a masculine trait. Having the need to spread the seed and pillage the village.
Imagine getting married and finding out she can't have kids. I hope you wouldn't dump her.
@@MikeyP109 Fertile = Not over age 40.
Hey Courtney, can you make a video on the "trad wife" trend? I just heard about this last week and the discussion around it has been... interesting, to say the least...
The coolest woman I ever dated on a dating app was someone who, ahem, didn't have any education past high school, worked in hospital billing and (wait for it) even spent a week in prison. When she shared of her time in prison she talked about the positives and how she made the best of it which actually made for some really interesting story telling. We were SO different but despite all of this we had so much to talk about. We started a Spotify playlist together, talked about concerts we'd been to, shared pictures of our Doc Marten's amid other 90s pop culture stuff to which we had an affinity. She had an amazing attitude, she was SO respectful and authentic too. Ultimately, we wanted it to work out but the physical attraction just wasn't clicking.... at all. For men, yes, attraction is important. However, I for one time in my life felt a strong emotional attraction to someone with whom I really wasn't physically attracted purely on account of just how awesome of a human they were. It sucks because the strongest physical attraction I feel is often with woman who bring none of what she brought which has me questioning whether the problem in my dating life is purely rooted in myself alone. Maybe that's where I need to put the attention for awhile.
I have 4 sisters, they don’t cook, or sew or do anything you would consider “womanly” . In fact the are loud and over talk you. ( you get loud they get louder) . It is obnoxious to be around them. This is why they are single.
I doubt its the cooking or sewing.
They way you break things down in the most calmest, coolest fashion is amazing. Thanks Courtney!
I don’t care if the mother of my children has a college degree or a HS diploma, is she kind? How does she treat her mother and my mother? How does she treat children who aren’t hers? Does she make good chili? I don’t care if she has a job, prefer her to be at home.
I agree with your fiancé about your career.
My ex wife hated her job(s) for most of our marriage and woman who has to work, but hates what she does is a miserable creature and will make everyone else around them miserable too.
There isn't much to add to Courtney's good analysis. Single, professional women would be better served if they adopted a supportive attitude upon entering any serious relationship. It really is the basis of a successful marriage. My wife and I would never have gotten as far as we have if we hadn't been so supportive of each other. I was there every step of the way as she endeavored to earn her CPA, while she reciprocated by supporting me as I worked toward my professional certification and built my business. Men, in large part, are simply looking for a woman who'll be personally supportive of their endeavors and appreciate them as people. Marriage can be highly empowering and very enriching if you're both willing to work as a team, but it takes humility, a good attitude and a strong work ethic on everyone's part to succeed.
Totally agree. It's important that a woman is more than just a pretty face. Ability to carry a conversation is a big one for me, as well as a sense of humor. I had the unwelcome task of working with a woman to edit her book for publication. Right away, her attitude put me off. Treated me like I was five, like I was stupid, thought her shit didn't stink because she was attorney. So yeah, that kind of an attitude in a woman I was dating would definitely put me off.
I mostly agree with you Courtney. 🙏
In terms of a woman having a career or a successful career, some men do care. A good portion of men.
However in that portion of men, some men may care about it because they are receiving comments or questions from their female family members or "friends". I think that some men care about status and what impression is being given.
In my case...
My dear man just wants me to do something that makes me happy. It doesn't matter what it is (in reasonable terms).
The doctors have signed me off sick whilst I'm pregnant at the moment. I've received criticism from women about not working but I haven't received criticism from men. They just accept it.
Hi. Man here. I am not actively seeking a relationship or even making myself visible in the dating space. I do not care about occupation. I mainly prioritize 3 main attributes: Attitude, Hobbies, and her friends. There’s a saying. Tell me who your friends are, and i’ll tell you who you are. If she’s showing a good attitude, but her friends are negative, angry, and spiteful, I’m going to think that the woman I’m in a relationship with is not being genuine with me, and it’s going to make me more cynical about her intent due to the company she keeps. I would expect likewise of her if my friends were sleeping around, being annoying, and an altogether disruptive nuisance. It’s about respect, trust, and mutual interest.
I had a past girfriend who told me she did not care what I did for a living, or what kind of place I was living in, so long as I was with her. And, she was one of the classiest hip, smart woman I have met. She was 7 years older than me, but at the age of 23, it didn't deter me from living with her for 3 years.
💯👏Amazing! Thank you. This is so refreshing to know that real woman still exist. Us men are celebrating you.🎉
I have a few thoughts-one about education, another about core values, and one about beauty.
Concerning education, I never understood how anyone could be arrogant about having X degree(s) from Y school(s). We had a pithy little saying at my childhood home that went: the more I learn, the less I know. HOW TRUE! The more I've learned about anything, the dumber and more ignorant I feel. Hence, education and learning have tended to humble me. I feel good about having learned or accomplished something, but then I feel humble after realizing that there's a lot more to learn.
Sharing core values is a MUST! That cannot be overstated for having a substantive, fulfilling, and long lasting relationship. The physical is only one dimension; there are also the mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of a relationship, and those are what will carry a relationship long term.
Finally, when it comes to beauty, a hot body, etc., I won't lie; I enjoy all the above like any guy does. However, I grew up and lived near the Jersey Shore, so beautiful gals aren't that special to me; I used to see 'em by the thousands during any given summer. A nice face or hot body will catch my eye, but keeping it will require depth, substance, and an overall good personality. A beautiful woman with an ugly personality looks ugly to me. Conversely, an average woman with a nice personality enhances her looks, and she's more appealing to me.
For once TikTok Left me speechless but in a good way
Right 😂😂
Courtney again 100% correct .........Μen do not want a toxic or dysfunctional relationship....Men want calm cuddly and a lovable partner that will make them just happy .....simple as that.......
men want a woman that is sweet , loving, kind, supportive, loyal, and pretty
Impossible to find
@@Goatlikeitornot theres courtney
Great advise. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself, because that’s what enables every other relationship in your life to thrive 🙌🏻
I love that TikToker, she actually doesnt tell women what they want to hear. She keeps it real.
i had a date the other night. the woman was touching my arm nonstop and giving me flirty puppy dog eyes. i felt like there was great chemistry between us. she even texted me 10 min after the date to tell me she had fun. then the next day i asked her out for a 2nd date and she said she felt no chemistry and wished me well. i wasnt happy about this. in fact i was traumatized because she sent me mixed signals and i was so convinced she was into me. She is a 50 yr old woman who was married for 24 years , has 3 older kids and had a rebound relationship after her divorce so i thought i was dealing with a mature person. i called her out on this and she denied giving me mixed signals.
50 and still playing princess games lol…
@@lockyp204 i guess so lol
@@kellymulderino7156 Her perceived options are running out fast
Trust your instincts on this one. Sounds like she's playing games. Maybe wants to know she's "still got it"? Maybe she's lying and actually still married (ie. looking for attention and validation irl, without actually cheating). Or... perhaps she's hoping that you won't take no for an answer and thus chase her. Regardless... avoid this woman at all costs. Methinks you dodged a bullet.
@@RoguePC4U probably its just disconcerting how a woman can present herself as mature with her act together and then pull this crap
Totally agree! I would add also that I am looking for discipline and consistency in a woman. With all the work and help provided from myself and cleaning crews for housings, pets, fishponds, cars and stuff even with my help a household life is tough and not all the times help will be at hand.
Hey Courtney, do you think this Is this mainly an American dating cultural problem? Should I expand into foreign territory? Would you if you could hypothetically invite some people from other countries onto your show or a video to see if there are contrasting differences in opinion? Would be interesting to see!
I'm of a Japanese heritage but I studied a lot of psychology and cultural diversity in college. I wouldn't say American problem but it is a Western ideology problem. Modern feminism has gone past the point of equality to overempowerment or abuse. A woman can be strong independent loud and belittling and these are seen as good traits, but these are not desirable traits for most men. Ambitious, strong, independent, financially stable are to a woman what submissive, obedient, supportive, and respectful are to a man.
Nope, very prevalent in Australia too. Whatever happens in America, happens in Australia.
@@elliptical29 It seems like culture goes from Europe to America over the course of several years, then Australia trails American culture by roughly a year.
its a Universal problem
Western Cultures are dead cultures.
Thank you Courtney for sharing this. When I was single and heard women say "I don't need a stupid man" then I always took it as a license to walk away.
This all goes both ways. You need to be a man who doesn’t yell, belittle, or play games with a woman. You need to be truthful, supportive, and bring peace to her life. If you both behave that way you can start to build trust in each other. Just sayin’…
I am a man in my mid 50's and have known countless men from a pretty broad spectrum of society and I can honestly say that not one of them have ever been "intimidated" by a woman, in a way that these women claim they are (men can be anxious or apprehensive about approaching a woman initially, but that is a totally different thing). Also, yes, good men want women of substance (ie. integrity and intellect...vacuous bimbo's need not apply regardless of any other qualities they may have) for a life partner. Love your video's . Cheers!
Wife: Babe, Courtney Ryan just uploaded…
Me: *Already on my chair*
Good, smart clip and great analysis. Well done, Courtney (and the other woman in the video). A person's looks mean nothing without the substance to back them up.
I have never been intimidated by a woman after the age of 17. I can't imagine a strong successful man in his thirties being intimidated by a woman. Not sure where they got this.
As a single man i want to tell you you are correct in your observations in this video. Men want a woman they can talk with about anything who is trustworthy and who is respectful. The whole " men are intimidated by me " attitude misses the point - they are really just turned off by the narcissism
Competitive stubborn men: desirable
Contentious (boss) women: undesirable
Modern women: "He has to support me"
Chad: "no"
Same women: "okay!"
Yes, you are absolutely right!
I hear all the time that men are intimidated by strong women. Actually, it isn't a woman's strength that bothers us, it is her domineering, controlling, and nasty behavior that puts us off.
You are 100% right. They are nut strong, just annoying. It is so easy to claim to be strong when you're drowning in a luxury overdose and everything is just one swipe or button press away. The second hardship comes all these women fade away.
You’re absolutely correct, Courtney, in understanding what each gender generally wants in the opposite sex partner/relationship.
These single women acting like boss babes and they don't need no man garbage that is why they are single.
That tik-tok video is amazing.
Courtney you bring life lessons to single men. Thank you
Your phrasing gives you away lol. Men avoid your mouth like the plague I bet.
What I like about you Court is you remind me that there are girls out there who are well balanced and thoughtful and the toxic ones just stand out.
1st 👍 view&comment
Keep growing the channel!
Appreciate you Joseph! ❤️
Here's your medal 🥇
Be on the lookout for an upset haha
Great video! In addition to an overall "bad attitude", I would add that being competitive, non-agreeable, nagging, and preachy are also very unappealing traits in women. Some women are also completely unaware of what it takes for a man to be successful, build a business, and create wealth. This lack of awareness or entitlement is also a turnoff. It is shocking to me how many physically attractive and "successful" women have no clue what their ideal man actually wants. They are often focusing on traits that are turning men away, and not making them more attractive.
The real world never cares how smart, talented or great looking you are if you don't show respect for other people. I am looking for a woman who I think will make a good wife and mother one day. Those traits are what matter to me.
I don't think this is talked about enough. Even in the Bible it NEVER says for a wife to love her husband. Men do not need love like a woman does. However, it does say for wives to respect their husbands. Man need respect and esteem. It tells husbands to love their wives, which is what women generally need
So, women are just objects to you? what if she is smart, talented and respects other people? Women have a lot more to offer than being housewives and mothers all the time.
Well said Courtney! This same exact thing happened to me and I told her she could let me go if she wanted to go out again to let me know cause I'm not pursuing
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Hi Court! 🤍
So true. The sad thing is some women will work SO hard on gaining qualities men do not care about when any woman can build the qualities we do care about. And my experience is when they do they are quickly snatched off the market. A man can't easily become a millionaire with lots of degrees and accomplishments, but any woman can cultivate a good attitude, peace, etc.
I have to admit your my favourite content creator for advice to men and putting this into prospective for women without being toxic. The type of women I dated when I was in my teens and early 20s are quiet different to the type of women I would date now long term. As someone who earns decent money even when I didn't have much money I was not attracted to rich or successful women as I value other qualities far more.
1:57 I'd disagree with the statement that men don't care how much money woman makes.
Not in the 21st century consumer economy. The days of 1960s when a family could sustain itself on single-adult income are long gone.
Hello Courtney. The chief reason I love watching your channel is your equity, and it's great to see you model this quality as an example of what I'd look for most in a woman. Thanks for that and keep up the great work.👌
I dated a woman like this for several weeks. She told me that most men she dates are intimidated by her. When we parted, I told her I, and likely some of the other men, are not intimidated by her success. It's the attitude she developed in becoming successful. She became masculine and the Tate kind of masculine, the kind that men don't even like to be around in other men.
You are right. I want someone who has her life together because that shows me that she is less likely to ruin my life. She knows how the world works and if she’s a troublemaker. No way. I want peace. I don’t want someone to “put up with”. I wants someone I can enjoy. Laugh with. Share with. Live with and it’s an easy thing (no nothing is always easy but if it’s the norm then great. If is common to be hard. I’m out)
👏👏 it’s the attitude and characteristics that many times comes with the education/ success that is absolutely repulsive in so many.
Great insights Courtney 👍. Most men aren't attracted to or interested by these attraction cues such as money, career, or social standing. These are attraction cues for many women.
My wife made more, very high up in corporate and I was a plant worker. Levels are iffy for me but she was very respectful and loving and always have a mild spirit. I think all of this stuff social media especially about levels, education and whatever is like something for the new generation a handicap. I live in a neighborhood that many of us men would not be on the same level as some of our wives, especially starting out. I think it's a thing that is taught that blinds women and make it hard for them to be content or find healthy relationships. If everyone is running to achieve as individuals in a family setting I tell you sooner or later most will crumble. Our goals are our goals but our family should be our priority.
It's so inspiring to hear a lady speaking the truth about most single women and their attitudes towards men.
The Friends chart that says it all about women:
It's not you - It IS you
I feel so safe around you - You will NEVER see me naked.
You're so nice - I'll be dating alcoholic bikers who abuse me and complain about them, to YOU!
We should see other people - HA HA I already am.
Courtney straight on point. 50% is physical attraction, 50% attitude. If the man find things that don't like in the attitude, for the woman it is far worse than to be not attractive physically. This because a physically unattractive woman can be a very good friend if she is a good person and you go along, but at the opposite if she looks good, but the attitude is off than she will be a one night stand at best. Off or not likeable attitude is not neccessary bad behaviour, it is simple not attractive and that's it. No person make friend someone who's attitude don't like
You are spot on. One more thing to consider is stop comparison shopping once you find your man stop comparing with other men and be dedicated to him.
The foundations of your statements are completely true Mrs. Ryan, I got to say I am pleased to see a kind woman finally comprehends that not all dudes are money and bimbo chasers. Even alpha guys care if a woman has a bad attitude and depending on the type of guy, that attitude will only be tolerated to a point. Even desperate men will step away because of it.
This one dude gave me a good analogy. He basically said something or someone can be a brownie mix with a small piece of poop in it. Even though more than 90% of the brownie mix is normal brownie mix, that little pebble of poop can mess up the entire mix.
Well said Courtney! I certainly cannot speak for all men, but I can honestly say that I am looking first and foremost a girl who loves Christ and secondly a girl who is easy to get along with. Drama, a selfish attitude and negative attitude are all traits that turn me off a girl in a heartbeat.