I'll never forget when a friend from a completely different country told me he was struggling with depression but found counseling to be completely unhelpful. Drawing from my own experience, I asked him, "Was it one of those counselors that just sits there and stares at you silently the whole time?" "Yes!" he replied in amazement, "how did you know?!" 😆😆😆
@@Rascilon25 yeah, if my clients are religious, I'll ask them how spiritual practices play into their mental health, but just telling them to pray to deal with any mental health symptoms makes me concerned
I had a therapist who started grilling me about my child and his autism diagnosis- an entire session needed up being about his symptoms when he was a toddler. At the end of the session she told me she was worried about her toddler and I realized my entire session was about her kid.
If your therapist tells you to forgive people who have abused you and apologize for taking time to learn how to come out of the abuse as a better person - RUN!
I'm not sure what happened. We had multiple sessions where I was getting good advice and then one session just snapped to that. I'm just glad I was aware enough to not listen to that
@@DrDeadsy42 sorry, that sounds like a really tough experience. It would be nice for therapy to be a little more predictable for what you can expect from providers
A few more things therapists should never say (and yes, heard all of them personally) "You don't want to take psychiatric medication? Then you must not really want to feel better" "I'm not buying it. You're gonna have to convince me" [Get up in your face and yell at you when you're having a panic attack, and label it as "a little structure"] " Parenting doesn't come with a manual"
Idk where a therapist comes off saying someone has to take meds, we can't even prescribe! It also is hard when your therapist makes you feel like you have to convince them that your experience is true.
@@Therapy2Day One of mine said he wouldn‘t accept me as a client if I didn‘t take prozac. I didn‘t want to because I was afraid of certain side effects that stuff has. He promised me I could stop if those side effects arose. They did, he didn‘t care. I ended up in hospital, he didn‘t care. I was so desperate for therapy that I continued the therapy for another 6 months in which I learned much about his childhood & marriage. The prescription came from a psychiatrist he was in contact with.
When I was starting out and desperate for clients and work a mom contacted about her troubled son and was explaining what she expected which was basically me manipulating the child, telling her everything the child told me and guilting the child into being a "good son." This woman was abusing that poor child. I set some ethical and professional boundaries and she had the nerve to threaten her cheque. Later on telling my also wet behind the ears speech therapist friend she chastised me for turning down the money. Not the client, _the money._ This friend was doing speech therapy on children that were nonverbal with no chance to develop language, she was doing speech therapy on children that didn't need it, she was doing bad therapy on purpose to get more money out of the child's family. I've since left the field; there needs to be a way for some of these careers to not skew their professionalism for sustainance.
I decided to see a therapist during a contentious divorce. I was coping fairly well by keeping up with healthy lifestyle habits, but felt I was leaning too much on my friends for emotional support. After a few sessions, my therapist told me I was really tightly wound and needed to "just go home and have a few shots". I was stunned. I opted to stop with the therapy, kept up with what I was already doing and got through it.
Also, the ‘self awareness = fine’ thing is not surprising. It sort of fits in with the fact that many people, and therapists, think that not taking accountability is the root of everyone’s problems. In my experience you meet more people who blame themselves when they are not at fault, and people who are too hard on themselves when they are in the wrongs than people who can’t own their mistakes. Self awareness is similar. Many people are aware that their actions are not working but they do not know what to do instead. So they make the same mistakes over and over because it seems better than doing nothing. Or, they do something else that doesn’t work out, or they actually do try doing nothing, and the problems pile up. Also, self awareness seems to be in and out with many diagnoses. They can be self aware most of the time but their diagnosis skews their overall perception of themselves and their circumstances. So they are aware of what the disorder allows them to see. But it’s inaccurate. You do meet people with little to no self awareness but those are often people who swear they don’t need healing.
Had a therapist that would start crying and tell me I was causing it. She expressed that she is sensitive. I would have to comfort her emotionally and tell her how she was right to feel how she does. When I did that, she would tell me that I was behaving in a healthy way. The times that I was feeling emotions and needed guidance, it was strongly stated that I was hurting her feelings, and she would start crying and say she had triggers showing up she hasn't worked on. I would then need to stop and comfort her and help her through her feelings. I was counseling her and told her she wasn't providing a safe space to for me to share how I felt. I was told I made that happen. I then refused to provide her therapy for her emotions around my statement and ended working with her.
Idk. If the kid said his mom AND husband are successful, I would assume she is doing more than just sleeping with a rich guy since sex is something that two teenagers can do in a car and not exactly a skill. But it sounds like that ‘counselor’ is not a real counselor and rather some sort of misogynist life coach who bills himself as a counselor of e is admitting to SA-ing his wife in front of a teenage client. I would be furious about that. You do encounter a lot of people who call themselves counselors but they are actually not therapists. They keep that in the fine print, and you can get some weird and extreme values and lifestyles with ‘life coaches’ who try and pass as actual therapists.
Not sure if this applies to bad therapy. I was sent to the guidance counselor when I was in middle school because I dealt with bullying badly in my classes. I would cry in the middle of class. This was before the mass school shootings. My counselor told me that I needed to be more empathetic towards the people who hurt me and I could not expect everyone to like me. I got tired of being in therapy and would rather face my bullies and be in class. I decided to stop reacting to bullying. I felt the adults in my life did not care about me and would not do anything to help me.
Unfortunately, I've heard a lot of stories of bullying not being handled appropriately by school authorities, even with all the emphasis and messaging about it.
@@Therapy2Day thanks. My story has a happy ending. I grew up and my former bullies had to see me everyday and I let them know that I did not want them to speak to me and I had no problems getting the police involved if they threatened me again. The weirdest thing was that I had no problems moving on but they did. They acted all hurt that I wanted nothing to do with them. If they look me up on social media they will always feel a sense of shame and guilt because I will always block them or not respond to them. It is sad that it came to this. I wish the school would have intervened for their sake.
As someone who's a recovering addict w multiple diagnosed mental health issues, being low income and on medicaid most of my adult life as well as being "disabled" due to my mental problems; the standard of care in my area and many parts surrounding it do not offer good care. I have more than just 1 or 2 bad experiences with therapy, psychiatry, rehab. All of it is so incredibly flawed, esp when ur dealing with ppl who take medicaid/medicare whatever social services. It's devastating, feels impossible and also incredibly discouraging. I'm 37yo, been in and out of every treatment center in a 50 mile radius and I'm just now getting a hold on things by myself without meds. I still struggle bc i have a genuine disorder and I go up and down, have meltdowns. Cry too much. But I've never felt better without the meds and the 30 min sessions where they either debate me about my feelings or how i should be dealing with trauma or they just stare right thru me like i couldnt be more boring. Im so over it all. But i know i need more help than what i can learn online or at the library by myself. Like i said, discouraging
I got ghosted by a therapist....he simply did not show up for the scheduled appoitment and left me sitting in the office until closing time. The office staff were just as clueless and I was told by the practice owner that, "Well you know how he is...." Ummm no it was only my third visit....
I had a therapist years ago who stood up and started doing jumping jacks, and says "I bet you think I'm weird." I didn't know what to think and just told her that I wondered why she was doing that. She did not respond. To this day I'm still puzzled
I have been in therapy since the age of 9 and I'm in my 40s now. It wasn't all the way through and I did have years in between but the amount of times I have been told by a therapist in the past 10 years that I am far too self-aware and so good at my own self reflection that therapy isn't really necessary amazes me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to hear It. I suppose. But I also have no support system at home so don't mind me If I disagree with a therapist about not needing therapy.
I had my high school counselor call my mother and recommended that I should get treatment for mental health issues. Which isn't that inappropriate ot malicious but I really wished she had asked me first because my mother errupted into a very distressing state when she got the call. I understand a minor doesn't have that much power over themselves in the world but it wouldn't hurt to ask them if they want parents involved...
Yes absolutely. I'm sorry it felt like you weren't given any input in that process. I try to at least ask any under 18s I work with how they feel about involving their parents in the work, and how we can navigate things if they and their parents disagree
@@Therapy2Day It's alright, thank you for your consideration. I know now that it's simply a complex situation for any counselor to try to help children with abusive parents. My counselor understood why I had an issue with it after I explained my situation fully to her, she really did a lot for me once we were on the same page. I'm very grateful for counselors/therapists that continue to adapt and improve their communication skills with people of any age. Thank your for your words, it makes me feel better.
I did go to a clinic that had mental health services, I even got a reminder on my phone to go to the appointment. I waited a hour before I asked why no one had called me yet and it turned out that my therapist had left the practice and the office had forgot to tell me. Needless to say, I looked for a different practice for therapy after this incident. :/
I was sorry for the lady of the previous talk, but here's the thing. 20 years ago, I went to a therapist because I was facing a duel. The therapist saw a toxic mom and grandma. And tried to address it so aggressively I was too much for me. I couldn't and didn't return after the 2nd session. 20 years later I learned something else they ignored and chose to mock about my health and kicked in my adulthood. I am still struggling economically. Is my relationship estranged? Hell yes!!! Am I in therapy for it? Finally yes!!! Do I see the end of it? Sadly, no. It takes a lot of work to offer myself some compassion for situations that did not fall on my lap and at the same time take full responsibility for fixing them. So no, therapy is not breaking anything. At any rate, it is exposing shit.
I often wonder how things might have been different, as I was far too terrified for my mom to find out that I had told anyone she was abusing me, so I never did. I was even in 'therapy' as a child because I had behavioral problems at school, but it consisted of my mom and the therapist just talking about me. They never really talked to me at all during those sessions. The only good it did was fulfill the school's mandate so I didn't have to go to a 'special' school and inconvenience my parent's schedules. I did not even know that changing schools was being suggested until I was well into adulthood. I wish I could have gone. My whole life has been a struggle. Maybe if I had known about my autism earlier I might have had better support and learned better ways to cope in life.
Save your money people take your troubles to God its way way way cheaper, you get positive results and you can totally trust him and yes I do believe God uses Godly people to help others but you better discern who they are.
your “god” and his pastors/councilors told me to shut up and be a good little sex toy for men in their 40s when i was 4 years old. take time to use the brain in your skull instead of repeating what your echo chamber is drilling into you
Thanks so much for watching! I love taking video suggestions from viewers. Do you mean the actual process of how I became a therapist or some of my reasons for doing so? And just general advice for recent college grads? If you'd like to get more detailed on the conversation, please feel free to DM on Instagram @therapy.2day
What stories do you have about inappropriate therapist behavior?
I'll never forget when a friend from a completely different country told me he was struggling with depression but found counseling to be completely unhelpful. Drawing from my own experience, I asked him, "Was it one of those counselors that just sits there and stares at you silently the whole time?"
"Yes!" he replied in amazement, "how did you know?!"
😆😆😆
@@fortyseventhronin oh.... I wish that weren't a stereotype! Unfortunately, it seems far too common
LDS therapist as a teen telling me to 'pray' my anxiety away.
@@Rascilon25 yeah, if my clients are religious, I'll ask them how spiritual practices play into their mental health, but just telling them to pray to deal with any mental health symptoms makes me concerned
@@Therapy2Day Thanks I appreciate that Isaiah.
I had a therapist who started grilling me about my child and his autism diagnosis- an entire session needed up being about his symptoms when he was a toddler. At the end of the session she told me she was worried about her toddler and I realized my entire session was about her kid.
If your therapist tells you to forgive people who have abused you and apologize for taking time to learn how to come out of the abuse as a better person - RUN!
If they're telling you that, sounds like they have really misunderstood the situation
I'm not sure what happened. We had multiple sessions where I was getting good advice and then one session just snapped to that. I'm just glad I was aware enough to not listen to that
If I wrote a book about my experiences with therapists, everyone would accuse me of making absurd nonsense up.
@@DrDeadsy42 sorry, that sounds like a really tough experience. It would be nice for therapy to be a little more predictable for what you can expect from providers
A few more things therapists should never say (and yes, heard all of them personally)
"You don't want to take psychiatric medication? Then you must not really want to feel better"
"I'm not buying it. You're gonna have to convince me"
[Get up in your face and yell at you when you're having a panic attack, and label it as "a little structure"]
" Parenting doesn't come with a manual"
Idk where a therapist comes off saying someone has to take meds, we can't even prescribe!
It also is hard when your therapist makes you feel like you have to convince them that your experience is true.
@@Therapy2Day One of mine said he wouldn‘t accept me as a client if I didn‘t take prozac. I didn‘t want to because I was afraid of certain side effects that stuff has. He promised me I could stop if those side effects arose. They did, he didn‘t care. I ended up in hospital, he didn‘t care. I was so desperate for therapy that I continued the therapy for another 6 months in which I learned much about his childhood & marriage.
The prescription came from a psychiatrist he was in contact with.
@@DrDeadsy42 oh that is really terrible. You really had no say in the matter if you were going to keep seeing this person
When I was starting out and desperate for clients and work a mom contacted about her troubled son and was explaining what she expected which was basically me manipulating the child, telling her everything the child told me and guilting the child into being a "good son." This woman was abusing that poor child. I set some ethical and professional boundaries and she had the nerve to threaten her cheque.
Later on telling my also wet behind the ears speech therapist friend she chastised me for turning down the money. Not the client, _the money._ This friend was doing speech therapy on children that were nonverbal with no chance to develop language, she was doing speech therapy on children that didn't need it, she was doing bad therapy on purpose to get more money out of the child's family.
I've since left the field; there needs to be a way for some of these careers to not skew their professionalism for sustainance.
I decided to see a therapist during a contentious divorce. I was coping fairly well by keeping up with healthy lifestyle habits, but felt I was leaning too much on my friends for emotional support. After a few sessions, my therapist told me I was really tightly wound and needed to "just go home and have a few shots". I was stunned. I opted to stop with the therapy, kept up with what I was already doing and got through it.
Oh, yeah that wouldn't really be my first suggestion... ever
Also, the ‘self awareness = fine’ thing is not surprising. It sort of fits in with the fact that many people, and therapists, think that not taking accountability is the root of everyone’s problems. In my experience you meet more people who blame themselves when they are not at fault, and people who are too hard on themselves when they are in the wrongs than people who can’t own their mistakes. Self awareness is similar. Many people are aware that their actions are not working but they do not know what to do instead. So they make the same mistakes over and over because it seems better than doing nothing. Or, they do something else that doesn’t work out, or they actually do try doing nothing, and the problems pile up. Also, self awareness seems to be in and out with many diagnoses. They can be self aware most of the time but their diagnosis skews their overall perception of themselves and their circumstances. So they are aware of what the disorder allows them to see. But it’s inaccurate. You do meet people with little to no self awareness but those are often people who swear they don’t need healing.
Had a therapist that would start crying and tell me I was causing it. She expressed that she is sensitive. I would have to comfort her emotionally and tell her how she was right to feel how she does. When I did that, she would tell me that I was behaving in a healthy way. The times that I was feeling emotions and needed guidance, it was strongly stated that I was hurting her feelings, and she would start crying and say she had triggers showing up she hasn't worked on. I would then need to stop and comfort her and help her through her feelings. I was counseling her and told her she wasn't providing a safe space to for me to share how I felt. I was told I made that happen. I then refused to provide her therapy for her emotions around my statement and ended working with her.
@@becky7468 yikes that is a complete reversal of how that relationship should have looked!
Idk. If the kid said his mom AND husband are successful, I would assume she is doing more than just sleeping with a rich guy since sex is something that two teenagers can do in a car and not exactly a skill. But it sounds like that ‘counselor’ is not a real counselor and rather some sort of misogynist life coach who bills himself as a counselor of e is admitting to SA-ing his wife in front of a teenage client. I would be furious about that. You do encounter a lot of people who call themselves counselors but they are actually not therapists. They keep that in the fine print, and you can get some weird and extreme values and lifestyles with ‘life coaches’ who try and pass as actual therapists.
Im no therapist. Just a fan. Have a great day. Your channel is growing. 🎉
Thank you for watching!
Not sure if this applies to bad therapy. I was sent to the guidance counselor when I was in middle school because I dealt with bullying badly in my classes. I would cry in the middle of class. This was before the mass school shootings. My counselor told me that I needed to be more empathetic towards the people who hurt me and I could not expect everyone to like me.
I got tired of being in therapy and would rather face my bullies and be in class. I decided to stop reacting to bullying. I felt the adults in my life did not care about me and would not do anything to help me.
Unfortunately, I've heard a lot of stories of bullying not being handled appropriately by school authorities, even with all the emphasis and messaging about it.
@@Therapy2Day thanks. My story has a happy ending. I grew up and my former bullies had to see me everyday and I let them know that I did not want them to speak to me and I had no problems getting the police involved if they threatened me again.
The weirdest thing was that I had no problems moving on but they did. They acted all hurt that I wanted nothing to do with them. If they look me up on social media they will always feel a sense of shame and guilt because I will always block them or not respond to them. It is sad that it came to this. I wish the school would have intervened for their sake.
My buddy! I see you have more subscribers than when I became a member. Woot woot!
@@jesusjessegonzalez191 thanks so much for your support! Took June a little easy and we're getting back into it this month
@@Therapy2Day I look forward to your quality material and seeing kitty lol
@@jesusjessegonzalez191 he is prominently featured in Monday's upcoming video
@@Therapy2Day yay
As someone who's a recovering addict w multiple diagnosed mental health issues, being low income and on medicaid most of my adult life as well as being "disabled" due to my mental problems; the standard of care in my area and many parts surrounding it do not offer good care. I have more than just 1 or 2 bad experiences with therapy, psychiatry, rehab. All of it is so incredibly flawed, esp when ur dealing with ppl who take medicaid/medicare whatever social services. It's devastating, feels impossible and also incredibly discouraging. I'm 37yo, been in and out of every treatment center in a 50 mile radius and I'm just now getting a hold on things by myself without meds. I still struggle bc i have a genuine disorder and I go up and down, have meltdowns. Cry too much. But I've never felt better without the meds and the 30 min sessions where they either debate me about my feelings or how i should be dealing with trauma or they just stare right thru me like i couldnt be more boring. Im so over it all. But i know i need more help than what i can learn online or at the library by myself. Like i said, discouraging
I got ghosted by a therapist....he simply did not show up for the scheduled appoitment and left me sitting in the office until closing time. The office staff were just as clueless and I was told by the practice owner that, "Well you know how he is...." Ummm no it was only my third visit....
I had a therapist years ago who stood up and started doing jumping jacks, and says "I bet you think I'm weird." I didn't know what to think and just told her that I wondered why she was doing that. She did not respond. To this day I'm still puzzled
@@patriciasadlertrainor6771 well that's... Out of the box... 🤷♂️
I have been in therapy since the age of 9 and I'm in my 40s now. It wasn't all the way through and I did have years in between but the amount of times I have been told by a therapist in the past 10 years that I am far too self-aware and so good at my own self reflection that therapy isn't really necessary amazes me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to hear It. I suppose. But I also have no support system at home so don't mind me If I disagree with a therapist about not needing therapy.
I havent seen your nice face in my feed for months. Gotta watch and like to help your algorithm. Its still a nice face. 👍✌️🙂
Thanks for watching! I did take June a little easier, and I hope it's more than my face that keeps people coming back! 😂
I had my high school counselor call my mother and recommended that I should get treatment for mental health issues. Which isn't that inappropriate ot malicious but I really wished she had asked me first because my mother errupted into a very distressing state when she got the call. I understand a minor doesn't have that much power over themselves in the world but it wouldn't hurt to ask them if they want parents involved...
Yes absolutely. I'm sorry it felt like you weren't given any input in that process. I try to at least ask any under 18s I work with how they feel about involving their parents in the work, and how we can navigate things if they and their parents disagree
@@Therapy2Day It's alright, thank you for your consideration. I know now that it's simply a complex situation for any counselor to try to help children with abusive parents. My counselor understood why I had an issue with it after I explained my situation fully to her, she really did a lot for me once we were on the same page. I'm very grateful for counselors/therapists that continue to adapt and improve their communication skills with people of any age. Thank your for your words, it makes me feel better.
I did go to a clinic that had mental health services, I even got a reminder on my phone to go to the appointment. I waited a hour before I asked why no one had called me yet and it turned out that my therapist had left the practice and the office had forgot to tell me. Needless to say, I looked for a different practice for therapy after this incident. :/
I was sorry for the lady of the previous talk, but here's the thing. 20 years ago, I went to a therapist because I was facing a duel. The therapist saw a toxic mom and grandma. And tried to address it so aggressively I was too much for me. I couldn't and didn't return after the 2nd session. 20 years later I learned something else they ignored and chose to mock about my health and kicked in my adulthood. I am still struggling economically. Is my relationship estranged? Hell yes!!! Am I in therapy for it? Finally yes!!! Do I see the end of it? Sadly, no. It takes a lot of work to offer myself some compassion for situations that did not fall on my lap and at the same time take full responsibility for fixing them. So no, therapy is not breaking anything. At any rate, it is exposing shit.
I often wonder how things might have been different, as I was far too terrified for my mom to find out that I had told anyone she was abusing me, so I never did. I was even in 'therapy' as a child because I had behavioral problems at school, but it consisted of my mom and the therapist just talking about me. They never really talked to me at all during those sessions. The only good it did was fulfill the school's mandate so I didn't have to go to a 'special' school and inconvenience my parent's schedules. I did not even know that changing schools was being suggested until I was well into adulthood. I wish I could have gone. My whole life has been a struggle. Maybe if I had known about my autism earlier I might have had better support and learned better ways to cope in life.
Mmmm. Sounds like it may have been a religious "counselor"
Save your money people take your troubles to God its way way way cheaper, you get positive results and you can totally trust him and yes I do believe God uses Godly people to help others but you better discern who they are.
Wow this is as helpful as the time the "counselor" at my school told me good girls who love Jesus don't cut themselves.
That didn't go badly at...
God gave us the intelligence to come up with therapy and the wisdom to seek it out when we need it.
This is the funniest joke I've seen all day, thanks buddy 😂
Terrible advice😂
your “god” and his pastors/councilors told me to shut up and be a good little sex toy for men in their 40s when i was 4 years old. take time to use the brain in your skull instead of repeating what your echo chamber is drilling into you
I’ve really enjoyed your videos. Could you possibly do a video on how you became a therapist and advice for recent college graduates?
Thanks so much for watching! I love taking video suggestions from viewers. Do you mean the actual process of how I became a therapist or some of my reasons for doing so? And just general advice for recent college grads? If you'd like to get more detailed on the conversation, please feel free to DM on Instagram @therapy.2day